CLASS ORAL PRESENTATION

 

on Daniel Golemanís Working With Emotional Intelligence,

Bantam Books, Oct 1998.

 

 

 

THESE POINTS WERE COVERED IN EACH SECTION:

1.      What is the main point, and the main sub-points of this page.

2.      How do you react to the main point and sub-points of this page?   Describe your initial reaction why you selected it.

3.      Do you agree or disagree?  Why? Describe your final reactions to this page.

4.      How does this page relate to the course's topic and focus as you see it right now?

 

ASSIGNMENT FOR APRIL 10, AND 17.

 


THE LEADERíS COMPETENCE TOOL KIT (187-188)

NICE GUY FINISH FIRST (188)

THE LEADERSHIP RIPPLE EFFECT (189)

 

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

(Arranged by its title and page number)

THE GREAT DIVIDE 23-24

SELF-CONTROL 82-83

MOOD AND MEMORY 175-176

EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE 25

WHEN WORK IS HELL 84

††††††††††† THE LEADERíS COMPETENCE TOOL KIT 187-188

LEADERSHIP EDGE 32-33

PSYCHOLOGICAL PRESENCE 108-109

††††††††††† NICE GUY FINISH FIRST 188

RULE OF THUMB 33-34

AFFILIATION: PEOPLE MOTIVE 111-112

†††††††††† THE LEADERSHIP RIPPLE EFFECT 189

WHAT EXACTLY IS STAR WORTH 36-37

ART OF LISTENING 140-141

THE VERTICAL COUPLE 213-124

MANAGING YOUR CAREER (59-60)

ART OF CRITIQUE 148-149

TEACHING THE SKILLS THAT MATTER 254-255

BLIND SPOTS (63-64)

A BROADER VIEW 152-153

 

ROAD TO IMPROVEMENT 67

HANDLING THE OTHER PERSONíS EMOTIONS 167-168

 

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THE GREAT DIVIDE (pp. 23-24)

 

KEY POINTS:

The great divide they are talking about here is competencies in people which lies between mind a heart or more specifically cognition and emotion. Cognitive competence is purely cognitive, like analytic reasoning or technical expertise while Emotional competence, is combination of both ability in cognitive area and skills in feelings, having ability in empathy and social skills.

The story here was about a flight attendant who was very emotionally competent. Although this particular flight was delayed and passengers were eager to get off the plane and many were standing before the plane completely stopped at the gate. But instead of announcing in stern voice, Ďplease seat downí she said in a playful but forgiving tone, Ďyouíre standing!í At that every one sat down and everyone still happy.

 

MY THOUGHTS:

I chose this pages because it reminded me of my trip from Seattle. It was a similar situation where everyone started to stand up early to get their bag. Then the stewardess went on the intercom in an irritated tone, ĎEveryone PLEASE sit down. And the lady in the back with the pink sweater, would you please sit down!í I was so shocked when I heard that. The way the stewardess handled the situation was so bad. If she had a little more emotional competence, she couldíve handle the situation more effectively without hurting anyone feelings or embarrassing them but I think she ultimately embarrassed herself by acting that way.

Final reaction to this page is that I agree that we all need to possess intelligence and competence beyond just the books or technical skills that we learn. To be successful at work and to handle your work in the best possible way, you need to be skillful both in your professional skills that your job requires you to have and more importantly skills in emotions, reading feelings of others and yours and making meaningful emotional impact to the others. Because ĎMOST CONVINCING POWERFUL ARGUMENT SPEAK TO HEART AND AS WELL AS TO THE HEADí

 

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EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE (p 25)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE IS LEARNED CAPABILITY BASED ON EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE THAT RESULTS IN OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE AT WORK. This competency has two important abilities. EMPATHY (reading the feeling of others) and SOCIAL SKILLS (handling those feelings artfully).I thought someone who is emotionally intelligent will be also high in emotional competence but in actuality high in emotional intelligence does not mean a person will have learned the emotional competencies that matter for work. It needs to be learned and it just determines our potential for learning the practical skills.There are five dimensions of emotional intelligence and 25 emotional competencies. And we have to remember that we donít have to be perfect. As long as we have strength in all five areas of emotional intelligence we can be emotionally competent so it means that there are many paths to excellence.

 

5 areas of emotional intelligence: SELF-AWARENESS, SELF-REGULATION, MOTIVATION, EMPATHY, And SOCIAL SKILLS

25 areas of emotional competence: emotional awareness, accurate self-assessment, self-confidence, self-control, trustworthiness, conscientiousness, adaptability, innovation, achievement drive, commitment, initiative, optimism, understanding others, developing others, service orientation, leveraging diversity, political awareness, influence, communication, conflict management, leadership, change catalyst, building bonds, collaboration and cooperation, team capabilities

 

MY THOUGHTS:

 

I agree because every job has different requirements and different situations, people you work with or deal with. I thought everyone with emotional intelligence will be emotionally competent but I guess this is separated from one another where emotional competence has to be learned separately. Probably emotionally intelligent person will be more likely to learn emotional competence rapidly and naturally compared to someone who is not.

 

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THE LEADERSHIP EDGE (32-33)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

LEADER needs to be emotionally competent to help others to do their job more efficiently and effectively. Interpersonal ineptitude leads to lower performance for everyone where it wastes time, creates acrimony, corrodes motivation and commitment, builds hostility and apathy. Top leaders are people who are talented in the technical skill but also are strong in the emotional intelligence. They need ability to relate, to speak up and be heard and be comfortable with yourself. And some of the ingredients for excellence are:

DRIVE: just there from 8-5 or have high energy, difficult to work with, or natural leader.

DIPLOMACY: inspire and guide others, can you take creative risks and adapt

PROACTIVITY: are you action-oriented, following up to impact the business?

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††††††††††††††††††††††† MY THOUGHTS:

 

This page made me reflect on myself at my workplace. I feel ashamed because I lacked many of these skills. As soon as I start work, I look at my watch, wanting to go home and feel bothered by co-workers and customers, lacking any kind of motivation. From reading this book, I really feel like I am at he bottom of emotional intelligence. I guess there is only one way to go which is up. Hopefully, I will be able to different at the end of the semester when I am done with this book.

 

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THE RULE OF THUMB (pp 33-34)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

This is by Worden, director of business research at Kodak. He says that importance of emotional intelligence increases, the higher you go in organization. Higher you go up, less important technical skills become, and more important competence in emotional intelligence, almost twice as important. The STAR PERFORMER needed one cognitive ability which is pattern recognition, the big picture thinking. Emotional competence made the crucial difference among the leaders. The STAR PERFORMERS had greater strengths in

q      INFLUENCE,

q      TEAM LEADERSHIP,

q      POLITICAL AWARENESS,

q      SELF CONFIDENCE,

q      ACHIEVEMENT DRIVE.

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††††††††††††††††††††††† MY THOUGHTS:

 

I think this is true. A real good boss or a leader of a group needs to be smart in their fields but more importantly; they need people skills where they can be emotionally competent. They should be a leader in which people can admire them and be confident enough so that people will follow them. I think this is really crucial in the fact that leaders that lack such skills are unpopular and they are not liked by many people, as well as their advancement in the work field is very limited. I think people with the five elements mentioned above, have the drive to be the best for the interest of the group and see a bigger picture in the things that they do.

 

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WHAT EXACTLY IS STAR WORTH? (Pp 36-37)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

Small group of account managers at RCA were able to raise size of their accounts each year for tens of millions of dollars more in sales. It wasnít their technical expertise were better than others but they had better people skills. These STAR PERFORMERS spent more time with their clients wooing them, going out drinking, telling them more information, and building relationship, sensing clients wants and needs, how to play those elements. The very best team is group with excellent teamwork. Instead of competing, they collaborated to bring good result to the company and for themselves as well.

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MY THOUGHTS:

 

These traits are very common in collectivistic cultures than individualistic cultures like ours that encourage teamwork. Many studies were done to show that they did excel in-group work but I wonder if they were generally better workers in emotionally intelligent than individuals from individualistic cultures. I guess since many of them are group at group work, cooperating, and collaborating, it contributes to their success. However, it is hard to judge their emotional intelligence from their group work abilities because there are other areas of emotional intelligence like, self-confidence, and empathy, which they might have or lack. Which ever, it is crucial to be a group worker and not a loner because it really makes a difference, two heads make better than one!

 

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MANAGING YOUR CAREER (p59-60)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

In our 20ís, 30ís, and 40ís people have drives to establish ourselves. By our late 40ís and 50ís, people start to re-evaluate their goals since they realize life is limited. Even if they are earning 7 digit salaries, many of them are bored, feel like they are stuck and donít like what they are doing. There is a saying, ďif you donít know where youíre going, any road will get you there.í The less aware we are of what makes us passionate, the more lost we will be. And this affects our health too. People who are not being used well on the job, who feel their work is repetitive and boring have higher risk of heart disease than those who feel that their job is competitive and exciting. Self-awareness offers a sure rudder for keeping our career decision in harmony with our deepest values.

 

MY THOUGHTS:

 

This ties in with this class. Many work rage is derived from these unhappy feeling that we have. And may be being in wrong profession/career could be the cause of some work rage. Many times these feelings of unhappiness end up hurting our health and performance and overall career success.

 

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BLIND SPOTS (p63-64)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

This is about the top manager at a company always talking about Ďsharing powerí and delegating authority. But when crisis arose, he was rebuffing anyone elseís advice and it damaged the self-confidence of Harryís staff. He couldnít see his own contradiction and first step in improving oneís performance is to identify a need for improvement but self-knowledge is difficult to come by. Being blind to our problem areas can put our career and relationships at risk. In company of executive who did well, al l had weaknesses but their difference was that people who didnít succeed failed to learn form their mistakes and shortcomings. Accuracy in self-assessment was hallmark of superior performance. STAR PERFORMERS have limits on their abilities but they know where they need improvement or they know how to work with someone else who has strengths they lack.

 

MY THOUGHTS:

 

I really agree with this. It is so easy to see others at fault but when we really have to see ourselves, we overlook our weaknesses and faults. I think we need to stop being critical to others and become more critical our own self first. When we become aware of our own shortcomings, we will be open for improvement and let other people to help us in areas in need of help and accept help and comments or feedbacks positively. Becoming defensive to something like feedback, in the end is only hurting us. Because we could benefit from feedbacks from others since sometimes it is hard to judge ourselves as how others see us.

 

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ROADS TO IMPROVEMENT (p 67)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

This one particular college professor said, Ďon ití a lot in his sentences. He wanted to improve his effective communication skills so he asked his students to raise their hands every time he said the words, Ďon ití. He was oblivious to this habit, until he had his students raise their hands. He realized what a bad habit he had and took a bold step towards improvement to change his style, determined to change. By his seeking out feedback, wanting to hear how others perceived him and realizing that this is an important step. This kind of self-awareness helps people in process of continuous improvement and knowing oneís strength and weakness and approaching their work accordingly was competence found in virtually all STAR PERFORMERS.

 

††††††††††††††††††††††† MY THOUGHTS:

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††††††††††† I totally agree with this. ĎKnow thyselfí. It is easy to pinpoint others faults, and other mistakes but when it comes to our own self, we are very lenient or sometimes very oblivious to our own faults. It is important to analyze ourselves in our both strengths and weaknesses. By looking at our weaknesses, we can learn from it and decide how to improve such weakness and turn it into a strength. Like the professor, it just takes your effort to make a difference that matters. By opening your eyes to your own behaviors, I think we can all become a better person. If someone asked me now what my strengths and weaknesses were, I donít think Iíll be able to answer right away. Itís not something I always think of. But my reading this passage, I think my biggest weakness is being lazy, which is ultimately the worst trait, in my opinion. Iíve always known I was lazy but I never made an effort to do anything about it. I guess just acknowledging your weakness is not good enough. WE NEED TO KNOW WHO WE ARE AND WE NEED TO CHANGE THOSE CHARACTERISTICS THAT MAKES US WEAK OR INCOMPETENT.

 

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SELF-CONTROL Keeping Disruptive Emotions and Impulses in Check (pp 82-83)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

††††††††††† This section focuses on how to keep disruptive emotions and impulses in check. People with skills in self-control can manage their impulse feelings and distressing emotions well and stay composed, positive and unflappable even in trying moments. They are able to think clearly and stay focused under pressure. The first story that is told in this section is about angry Bill Gates in a crowded conference room with about 20 young people. All of them were very afraid of him, except for one Chinese American who had this self-control. Her composed and calmness allowed her to think clearly and was able to calm Bill Gates.

ĎUltimate act of personal responsibility at work may be taking control of our own state of mindí.

 

MY THOUGHTS:

 

I think this story ties in well with our class with the topic of work rage. It gives many useful insights how having self-control in beneficial and necessary for both the individual and the group. Instead of spending time being distressed or angry, having control over such feelings and able to control the feelings of others, you are able to progress more and become more productive in whatever work you are in. When we are angry, anger takes over and it blurs all our sense of judgment and sensibility and resisting such mood is essential in our ability to work productively and happily.

 

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WHEN WORK IS HELL (p 84)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

This story is about the author himself when he was working for this publishing company and had a new boss. The new boss gave him tremendous amount of stress. At that time he needed the job and couldnít afford to lose the job. But instead of freaking out and stressing over it, he turned to mediation one of the method of stress management. By meditating every morning, before going to work, he was able to reduce this stress and problem was eventually resolved when that mean boss got promoted to another department.

ADVICE: People best able to handle distress often have a stress management technique and although you feel distressed, such stress management technique allows people to be less provoked and less prone to stimulus that was stressful before.

 

††††††††††††††††††††††† MY THOUGHTS:

 

When I read this story, I think it really helps to have some kind of stress management skill. Everyone has difficulty dealing with some situations, and it really is difficult if you have nothing to rely on as a support system. I didnít try meditation but I think this really is an excellent idea. There are other methods as well but I think it is most successful if you find what works best for you.

 

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PSYCHOLOGICAL PRESENCE (pp. 108-109)

 

††††††††††††††††††††††† KEY POINTS:

Reading this page made me evaluate myself at work. I have a job that I do like a robot. Like a routine, Iím just trying to kill time until I can punch out and I think my job is boring and waste of my time. Although I am present at work physically, mentally Iím elsewhere, usually daydreaming. I could also be talking to my boss or customers but not really listening to what they are saying.

And these traits I mentioned above, Goleman calls it PSYCHOLOGICAL ABSENCE. This is where work is just a routine and in a sense you are as good as not showing up since you are not completely there, meaning your mind and body.

I think this kind of traits can be found in people from a lot of different places. The ideal trait is to be exactly opposite of being psychologically absent but be PSYCHOLOGICALLY PRESENT. Being fully attentive, completely involved in their work to perform their best, being open to others, self aware (being able to recognize and know your emotions, strengths/weaknesses).

 

MY THOUGHTS:

 

I think work-rage, and conflicts at work results many times due to being psychologically absent. When fully psychologically present, we are more tuned to our surroundings to the people and the situation, and can adapt to whatís needed and react to situation effectively. When we are psychologically absent, we are not aware if a coworker is having problems or if there are problems to be resolved at work and it can be overlooked for long time, which can accumulate and accumulate and become a BIG PROBLEM. So being psychologically present at work will allow us to be more productive and happier.

 

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AFFILIATION: THE PEOPLE MOTIVE (pp. 111-112)

KEY POINTS:

 

Affiliation is liking people; genuinely appreciating and enjoying people and is key element of success in many occupations. People in fields like medicine, nursing, and teaching in helping profession it is a necessity. However, people in managerial position also need this quality but not too high of a drive because too much affiliation can cloud judgment and distract from doing things objectively. There was a man who was a millionaire and very successful but he was not happy with the job and he quitted to do more helping jobs for the people. And from this, he said he felt the greatest accomplishment.

 

††††††††††††††††††††††† MY THOUGHTS:

This is insightful to students deciding what do with their life. It seems like money is good at first but in the long run, most people want a fulfilling rewarding job that they enjoy doing. By evaluating your affiliation motive, if you are high on this motive, should pursue jobs like teaching and nursing, or other people jobs. If you are not high in this motive, should consider other career path since youíll not feel fulfilled in your goals and unhappy as a result of selecting the wrong profession.

 

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THE ART OF LISTENING (pp. 140-141)

KEY POINTS:

 

Listening well is essential for workplace success. Our communication time in our lifestyle is 22% spent on reading and writing, 23% speaking, 55% listening.Listening is also art where you need

1. Give sent that one is open to listening in the first place and by doing this people who seem easiest to talk to are those who get to here more

2. Actively listening by asking questions and restating what youíve heard

And sales is about art of listening. It should be viewed as task as being able to listen well and understand what the customer or client need, and then find a way to meet those needs. Most successful sales rep were those who were empathic cared about their needs and concerns than well-spoken extrovert.

††††††††††††††††††††††† MY THOUGHTS:

My personal thoughts on this were that it made me think about my job and people who I work with. Some of them are bad at Japanese but does really well in sales (I work with Japanese tourists). And I thought since they canít speak they would be bad in selling things but actually they were actually really successful at it. I guess they listened more for the cues and body gestures that sometimes people who can communicate ignores or neglects.So I realized that it is not really how well you speak but how well you listen that matters.

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THE ART OF CRITIQUE (pp. 148-149)

KEY POINTS:

This was a story of Shirley Delibero, head of New Jersey Transit Authority who had the art of critiquing. She showed people she appreciated them while giving both positive feedback and constructive performance feedback. Helpful coach or critique is to provide information about what is wrong and give corrective feedback and positive expectation of the personís ability to improve. In comparison, worst way to give feedback is during amygdala hijack when it becomes character attack and also neglecting to give feedback at all! They are equally bad. People need feedback either it be positive or negative to increase performance but many times mangers, supervisors, and executives are inept at giving feedback or they donít give one at all.

††††††††††††††††††††††† MY THOUGHTS:

I chose this section because I could relate to this topic. I also feel like people at work donít care. When you are praised or criticized, you get more motivated to do better. When you get praised, you feel appreciated and special and bring on more positive, happier work setting compared to really critical or no feedback workplace that make you feel really stupid or unimportant. I think it is really important in having a relationship with workers and supervisors, where communication line is left open for feedback and interaction. Of course, these feedbacks should be careful, and not to hurt other peopleís feelings, which sometimes happens with criticism and feedbacks. But nonetheless, feedback is really important in work and any relationship to have open relationship.

 

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A BROADER VIEW (pp. 152-153)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

††††††††††† In our society, most organization has customers or clients. The purpose of business is not to make a sale but to make and keep these customers. How customers feel when they interact with employee determines how they feel about company itself and loyalty is lost or strengthened through the interaction between company and its customers. So success in business is customer service and improving the interaction between employee and customer is most important.

MY THOUGHTS:

††††††††††† Tying this section with the previous (Art of Critique), employees are really important assets of a company but many times we feel unappreciated and overly criticized with lack of praise. These things make employees unhappy and feel inept in their job. I know customer service is important and educating employees is important but more importantly before putting people in the managerial positions, they need to give them proper training and education. That way, they will provide accurate feedback to employees and employees as a result also can work in most optimal situation that will improve their performance.

 

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HANDLING THE OTHER PERSONíS EMOTIONS (pp 167-168)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

It was a muggy day at Walt Disney World and the 20 min ride back to their hotel was just horrible but he bus driver started to sing, which improved the cranky children and parents into a better mood. This was example how the driver was taking advantage of the emotional contagion, by being happy it relayed to other people. We prime otherís emotional states as we do ours. Howard Friedman from UC Irvine says, ĎThe essence of eloquent, passionate, spirited communication seems to involve the use of facial expression, voices, gestures, and body movements to transmit emotionsí and from research people with this skill are better able to move and inspire others. So being poor at managing and appropriately expressing emotions can be a major handicap.

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MY THOUGHTS:

 

So being aware of your own emotions, you also need to express them appropriately which will lead us to lead more happier life and possible have power to influence others through proper managing and expressing of your emotion. Work rage may be due to such failure to properly express your feeling and that can create misunderstanding and grudge that may collect and accumulate into a bigger problem.

 

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MOOD AND MEMORY (pp 175-176)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

ĎMy boss withhold her emotions,í says advertising account manager. Her boss never praises and her voice always seem to lack warmth or enthusiasm. Many other employees shared this complaint. Being an adept communicator is keystone of all social skills and this particular boss is a poor communicator and not a good boss. He say we should aim to be a neutral mood so we can adapt to whatever the situation calls for and become more fully emotionally involved, listening more and better able to control our own moods.

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††††††††††††††††††††††† MY THOUGHTS:

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††††††††††† I think this is so important at work. May coworkers and bosses are moody. It is so obvious that some days you know you should just avoid them. But it is so unfair to others because it affects other peopleís mood as well. I might be biased by many female manger can be bitchy. They are nice some days but many other times they are cranky or irritable and when you ask a question they get nappy. These people should get fired or get demoted!!! Make regular employees nervous and irritated as well. They should get written up for being in a bad mood.

 

 

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THE LEADERíS COMPETENCE TOOL KIT (pp 187-188)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

To be an outstanding leader, the leader needs to compose emotional competencies. Leadership is almost all emotional intelligence. It says that there are three main clusters of competence.

1.      Personal competencies like achievement, self confidence, and commitment

2.      Consists of social competencies like influence, political awareness, and empathy

3.      Cognitive: they think strategically, seeking out information with a broad scan, and apply strong conceptual thinking

The great leaders are able to integrate all these three elements, and use it to direct others mind to inspire, motivate, and lead towards the desirable direction.

 

 

MY THOUGHTS:

 

I think this is really true. Anyone canít be a leader. They need to possess the necessary skills that will allow them to lead people in the right direction, using the right methods. If the leader was unskillful with people, many skillful, motivated people might lose their motivation, and fail to perform their best. It is crucial for the leader to be strong in the personal competencies, social competencies, and cognitive competencies because they are the role models that people will try to become. I know i have encountered many supervisors and managers but many people lack such skills and they fail to get promoted and move beyond their current situation.This is an important concept because we work in the group and in each group, there is a need for a leader. But this leader should not be chosen any old way, because it will cause problems for the whole group. A great leader will lead the group to the successful, desired way while a bad leader will lead the group to failure and hopelessness.

 

 

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NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST (p188)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

In this chapter, it starts with an example of a U.S. Navy, about the annual awards given to the most efficient, safest, and most prepared squadrons. Apparently, the best commanders were not the captains who were mean and forceful but nice guys. These nice superior navy leaders were talented in managing their command role with people-oriented personal styles. They were leaders who took charge but the difference between them and the other average leaders was in their emotional style. They were much friendlier, more democratic, more cooperative, more liable and appreciative, trust, and gentler.

But the mediocre navy leaders were negative, harsh, disapproving, and egocentric, authoritarian, controlling, self-centered, and tough-minded. Their leadership skill was by the book, only about power and control and not about people.

 

 

MY THOUGHTS:

 

This was fairly surprising to me. You think of military leaders to be very mean, hostile, loud voice, and just scary! But it proves that even in the military, these types of leaders are not successful. Real superior leaders were people who were more people oriented, more emotional intelligent, emotionally competent people. At this time of age, we still believe that leaders should be assertive and enforce power on the weak people. But it is time that we realize that real successful leaders are not people who force people to do things but lead people to do things by motivating and inspiring people. I think even I will like to work with manager, and leaders who are more understanding and gentler with me. Not because I am a girl who canít take orders. I just think that when leaders lead people through positive, more democratic, and sociable manner, it just makes the relationship between people more bonded and trusting and get more thingsaccomplished.

 

 

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THE LEADERSHIP RIPPLE EFFECT (p189)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

This section summarizes the past two pages of a superior, and effective leader description. Here, the author compares the leader as a Russian doll that contains all the small dolls inside. It also further describes and compares between the mediocre and best leaders.

BEST LEADERS: warm, outgoing, emotionally expressive, democratic, and trusting, create an atmosphere of openness that makes it easier for communication to take place, encourage people at all levels to keep their superior informed,

AVERAGE LEADERS: harsher, more disapproving, distant and irritable, legalistic and uncooperative, tend to be invisible, reluctant to send news upward, concerned with whether the equipment is functioning than they are with their people

 

 

MY THOUGHTS:

 

Most of the work place does work like military in a way, because it also is made up of hierarchies like the military although the line is so not distinct. At workplace, sometimes, we have leaders or superiors who act like they really are military captain or something. So hostile, unapproachably irritated, short-tempered, and just hard to talk to. It is important that although the leader might be skilled in the technical field, for the work place or the company to succeed in their business, it is really important how these leaders interact with employees. Due to this mean supervisor, many people might lose their motivation, or will to do their best. But if the leader was someone who was likable, and more people-oriented who showed support in more emotionally intelligent manner, than the other employees who werenít so motivated but get influenced by the leader and become inspired and motivated to do the best.

Workplace should be focused on relationship we have with coworkers and leaders, and it should be based on respect, and more friendlier, positive, warmer atmosphere than competitive, critical place. I think it is important that people and business become aware of the importance of training people to become emotionally intelligent leaders and employees.

 

 

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THE VERTICAL COUPLE (pp 213-124)

 

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

This was a story of a boss and her subordinate who were blaming each other for their failures. Sarah, the boss, though Al was incapable and lacked confidence so she began to be very aggressive and micromanage while Al, the subordinate, felt Sarah was undermining his confidence and doubting his confidence which made him anxious and feel incapable.

The main point if that no one is good enough and every has flaws and instead of blaming problems to others look within yourself because everyone has defects of their own and blaming one another for the problem is only avoiding the situation but through facing and recognizing problems together, you can find resolution.

 

 

MY THOUGHTS:

 

I agree with this passage. At my work sales were getting really low and the manager blamed us for slacking. And we, the sales people felt that the manager was slacking because there were so many items we were low in stock of or did not have at all. I guess we also were in a sense blamed one another. I think these feelings of s\resentment leads to work rage and forces people to get into arguments, firing, and quitting. So I realized how important it is to be less selfish and learn to see things from other personís shoe as well and try to improve myself first before blaming others.

 

 

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TEACHING THE SKILLS THAT MATTER (pp 254-255)

 

 

KEY POINTS:

 

This story was about a lady who was an accountant at health care industry and she had a problem of not being able to take criticism. Each time she got criticized, she took it really personally like those criticisms were attacking her character and ideas and she decided to enroll in executive MBA program and the result was great difference in her self control in situations that was stressful to her earlier.

Main point of this story is that students can become or master the emotional intelligence in the working world if they are given the right tools for learning. Beside the book and learning that occurs regarding the technical fields, students in business school or any other are need special education in developing such emotional intelligence.

 

 

MY THOUGHTS:

 

I think this applies to even parents, teachers, or people in any kind of work field because emotional intelligence needs to be learned and taught to people because many times we donít know what emotional intelligence is and we donít learn this kind of intelligence in school. I chose this page because I have hard time taking criticism as well. It is hard not to take things personally. I know sometimes it is only a feedback and sometimes those feedbacks to me sound really like fighting words that are attacking me that attacks my personal character. And these conflicts are growing matter in our work force. Supervisors should give criticism but in a feedback manner not to offend his employee. There are many ways I which you can handle situations like this and also employee should learn not to take things personally because many times it is not about you, personally.

So in conclusion, people giving criticism or receiving criticism need to have self-control to be objective and not take things the wrong way. Because through mastering emotional intelligence people will become happier and better adjusted at work though self-control and understanding.

 

 

 

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