(The Ways
to Improve Our Lives)
By Kaylor
Spring
2003---Generation 18
Instructions
for this report can be accessed here
Research Topic 1: How Important for
You to Help Others?
(a) Some say the best way to help yourself is to help others. Is it really so? How important for you to help
others? Do you feel worthy to
expend your helping hands to others even if you need help? How do you feel when you are helped by
helping others?
(b) I used the terms “helping yourself by others.”
During my first searching, I found a site illustrating the importance of
altruistic deeds. This site
introduces the basic principle of Buddhist Teachings. I also found a book titled The Teaching
of Buddha published by Society of the Promotion of Buddhism illustrates the
principle of Buddhism. During the
next search, I found a few sites introducing the Christian related volunteer
activates and the spirit of hospitality.
There were many articles that state the positive side of “Helping
yourself by helping others,” but I could not find the opposed side of the
story.
(c) Two thousands and six hundreds
years ago the Shakamuni Buddha taught the importance
of altruistic deeds. The book
titled The Teaching of Buddha published by Society of the Promotion of Buddhism
illustrates the principle of Buddhist Teaching. In a chapter, “The Way of Purification”,
it says “it is a very good deed to cast away greed and to cherish a mind of
charity… One should get rid of a selfish mind and replace it with a mind that
is earnest to help others. An act
to make another happy inspires the other to make still another happy, and so
happiness is born from such an act.”
In the web site
of Medical center at University of California it says that
“Volunteering can enhance your life.
Research has shown that older adults who participate in volunteer
activities have a higher energy level and greater self-esteem and satisfaction
with life.”
Most articles on this topic discuss
the goodness and importance of helping others. Such altruistic deeds would bring
positive and fulfilling life to helpers.
(d) It seems though as a human
being, it is not easy to do for the sake of others by putting oneself in the
shoe of others. However, I believe
that joy of helping others is much greater than own self-satisfaction. I strongly believe that we will be helped
by the power of helping others.
(e) This issue is esoteric. I believe that it is impossible to
deeply understand this issue just by searching and reading materials. If you want to appreciate this issue,
you must act on it. Go out and
extend your helping hands to others who need your help. You must put it into action to realize
this important concept of life. We
cannot live alone. We live in this
world to support each other.
You help.
Others help.
You help others.
Others help you.
You help others help you.
Others help you help others.
You help others help you help
others.
Others help you help others help
you.
http://futurepositive.synearth.net/about
(f) Even though we know the
importance of helping others, we cannot help but being occupied with our own
problems at times. I would like to
give my advice to the future generations to search more on how you can be
motivated to help others.
Bukkyo Dendo Kyokai
(1966) The Teaching of Buddha,
http://www.ucihealth.com/seniors/HelpOthers.htm
20
Ways for Teenagers to Help Other People by Volunteering
www.bygpub.com/books/tg2rw/volunteer.htm
20
Ways for Teenagers to Help Other People by Volunteering
www.bygpub.com/books/tg2rw/volunteer.htm
Helping Yourself
to Help Others
www.geocities.com/Athens/Academy/9280/helping.htm
Helping Yourself Help Others: A Book for Caregivers
www.sowega.net/~plainsed/research/books/helptxt.htm
Research
Topic 2: Understanding Adolescent Girls
(a) Adolescent girls constantly
experience their bodies changing.
Many allow the culture to define who they should be and what they should
look like. What types of conflicts
adolescent girls may encounter in this society as well as within
themselves? And how can we support
them overcoming those conflicts before too late?
(b) I used the Google
and Yahoo for searching this topic.
The terms I used for searching were “adolescent girls.” I had no problem finding the useful
sites for this topic. In the site I
found, a clinical psychologist points out several conflicts that adolescent
girls may encounter. For instance,
the early adolescent emotional system is unstable; most early adolescents
cannot think abstractly, schools treat girls and boys differently, and the
social pressure from family and peers and so on. During the next search, I found the web
site developed by the Office on Women’s Health in the Department of Health and
Human Services, which gives girls between the ages of 10 and 16 reliable,
current health information. The
site focuses on many health topics that respond to adolescent girls’ health concerns
and motivates girls to choose healthy behaviors using positive, supportive and
non-threatening messages.
(c) According to Pipher
submits that Girls' emotional immaturity makes it hard for them to hold on to an
identity of themselves as they experience the pressures of adolescence. This is, developmentally, a time when
small events can be overwhelming, and girls deal with their emotions in
different ways. Their emotional
experiences are overwhelming to some.
Thinking selves makes it difficult
to reason with them. Teenage girls
think others, preoccupied with the smallest details of their lives, are
watching them. They have what one
psychologist called the "imaginary audience syndrome." As a result, girls tend to engage in
emotional reasoning and are egocentric in their thinking, unable to focus on
anyone's experience but their own.
At school, boys are twice as likely
to be seen as role models, five times as likely to receive a teacher's
attention, and twelve times as likely to speak up in class. Junior high school is when girls begin
to fade academically. Partly
because of a shift girls make from a focus on achievement to a focus on
relationship. In junior high, girls
feel enormous pressure to be popular, and they learn that good grades interfere
with popular. Teenagers are under
great social pressure to abandon their families, to be accepted by peers, and
to be autonomous. Peers become
everything.
To grow into healthy adults, Pipher stresses that “girls need love from family and
friends, meaningful work, respect, challenges and physical and psychological
safety. They need identities based
on talents and interests rather than appearance, popularity, or sexuality. They need good habits for coping with
stress, self-nurturing skills and a sense of purpose and perspective. They need to feel that they are a part
of something larger than their own lives and emotionally connected to a whole.”
The article
published in the Transactional Analysis
Journal, discusses that It has been shown how
anger can manifest itself in the adolescent. Adolescent anger can be shown in
an antisocial way, in a passive way, in a healthy way, or not at all. In addition, teenagers, like adults, have
a choice in how to respond to and take care of angry feelings. One of the advantages of anger is to
provide a way of breaking the bond with mother and father, thereby allowing a
new sense of independence. This
approach assumes the teenager’s anger is healthy.
There are many articles
discussing the issues on the confricts of teenage girls. The conflicts are caused by various
reasons such as confusion of identity, peer and social pressure and biological
changes. I believe that the proper
guidances by care givers are most important for teengirls to grow as a health
young woman.
(d) Adolescence is an exciting time
of development and discovery, but also can be filled with anxiety and
struggle. Parents really matter to
teens, even if teens sometimes don't act like it. They need their love, guidance, and
support every day to help them develop into confident, healthy, and happy young
women. Parents can help their
daughter through all of the health and developmental issues discussed in this
section by trying to have a strong relationship with them that includes trust,
honesty, open lines of communication, and setting limits. It is important to spend quality time
together every week. Do special
activities. Parents should be good
role models in everything, from the way they eat, exercise, and handle stress,
to how they avoid abusing cigarettes and alcohol. If parents have balance in their life,
daughter will see that it is possible to handle the many different
responsibilities they all have.
Parents are the best teacher after all.
When I was living in
(e) The next step is to keep
searching the possible conflicts that adolescent girls may encounter, and how
to help them grow into a healthy adult.
(f)
I hope that students in the future generations are able to learn something
about adolescent girls from this report, so that you will be able to understand
and support them appropriately when you become one of their parents.
Pipher, Ph.D. (1994) Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
http://www.astc.org/resource/youth/ybook6.html
The
National Women's Health Information Center
A Project of the Office on Women's Health
in the U.S.
Department of Health and Human Services
Family Health - Helping Teenage
Girls to Create a Positive Body
http://www.quakeroatmeal.com/wellness/Articles/FH_Body_Image.cfm
Research Topic 3: “Be Careful of How
You Judge People”
(a) Some say that it is not enough
to start well, but you must also end well, because people judge you what you
finish, not by what you start. Do
you agree with this notion of “All’s well that ends well?” Moreover, some people tend to judge you
by what’s outside, not inside. People
see your appearance, ethnicity, and status, and judge you by such external
quality according to their own measurement. Whether we realize it or not, we
constantly judge others. The
question is “how well we judge people.”
(b)
In the first search, I simply tried to find something about the topic, “Judged
by what we finish.” I used the term
"We are judged by what we finish, not by what we start." I found one article about the remarkable
story of a world-class concert pianist, Byron Janis. He was diagnosed with arthritis. Within a short time this concert pianist
saw arthritis quickly spread to all his fingers, however he never gave up. For the next search, I tried to find the
opposite side of the story. I used
the terms, “judge others.” I had no
problem finding the story that explains why people should not judge others by
their actions.
(c) This fist article introduces the
remarkable story of a world-class concert pianist, Byron Janis, who was
diagnosed with arthritis. Within a short time this concert pianist saw
arthritis quickly spread to all his fingers, however he never gave up. Instead through hard work and sheer
determination, Byron Janis was able to continue his career. He became active in fund-raising for the
Arthritis Foundation and still plays the piano. Through this story the author of this
article points out that “this pianist is a powerful reminder to us that it is
not enough to start well. We must
also end well. It is easy to begin
well but the true measure of our spirituality is how we end.”
The next story tells you how you should not
judge others by their look. One
day, a lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun
threadbare suit walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard
University President's outer office.
"We want to see the President," the man said softly. The secretary could tell people like
they had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in
The President, stern-faced with dignity,
strutted toward the couple. The
lady told him that they had a son who attended Harvard for one year, but about
a year ago, he was accidentally killed.
So they would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus. The President was shocked and said,
"We can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and
died.” "Oh, no," the lady
explained quickly. "We don't
want a statue, a building to Harvard." The president glanced at the gingham
dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A
building! Do you have any earthly
idea how much a building costs? We
have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical plant at Harvard."
For a moment the lady was silent. And the lady turned to her husband and
said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don't we just start our
own?" Her husband nodded. And Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford walked
away, traveling to
As a summery of searching this topic, most people tend to
judge others by what they have done and its consequence. But the judgment might not always be
true, so you must really careful of how you judge people at all times.
(d)
I agree that most people tend to judge others by what they accomplish, not what
they start. The achievement
is always appealing to others. Most
people tend to acknowledge only the external value, not what they start or the
effort they make. However, in my
opinion, whether they are good or bad they should only be judged by their
purpose and intention, and not the consequences. I feel that we must not judge others
only by our own value. Before we
misunderstand someone, we should consider whether we have understood correctly
what the other person really is.
(e) The possible next
step is to search more on how people are affected by the judgment of
others.
(f) "You can easily judge the character of others by how
they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them" (Malcolm Forbes)
Be
Careful Be Careful of How you Judge People
www.ecclesia.org/truth/judge.html
Letter
to the Editor
Do not judge other states until giving them a
chance
http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2001/02/02-23-01tdc/02-23-01dops-letter-7.asp
Manual for
Advancing Souls
42. How
can you judge others when you do not know your own karma, let alone that of
other people
http://www.gla.ac.uk/~gbza22/mas/bf/bf42.html
First, You Have to Figure
Out Who You Are
A recipe for self-assessment.
FORTUNE
http://www.fortune.com/fortune/careers/articles/0,15114,371318,00.html
Research Topic 4: Optimism vs.
Pessimism
(b) The
objection of my first research was to find an article about optimism in
relation to self-efficacy. I could
not find any relevant site relating to this topic. So I changed my goal and decided to find
the information regarding the topic, “optimism vs. pessimism.” There were many articles about “optimism
vs. pessimism,” and it took me some time to sort them out and find the useful
ones. The first article I found
simply defines the terms, “Optimism and pessimism.” The site I found during the next search
illustrates the research study which proves how positive or negative thinking
can influence health.
(c)
Optimism-pessimism refers to an emotional and cognitive predisposition to feel
and think that the good things in life outweigh the bad. A related aspect of optimism-pessimism
is a generalized emotional and cognitive predisposition or inclination to think
of, and react emotionally to, others, events, and situations in positive and
favorable ways and generally to expect future outcomes to be positive,
beneficial, and good instead of negative, harmful, and bad. Thus, optimists are generally inclined
to believe that good, rather than bad, things are currently happening and will
continue to happen to them. In contrast, pessimists are
generally inclined to regard and experience present and future events in a
negative light; that is, to feel and think that bad elements outweigh the good
and that future outcomes are likely to be negative and bad.
For
years, people have been told about the power of positive thinking to improve
health and well-being. Moreover,
new research suggests that it may be even more important to avoid negative
thinking. Susan Robinson-Whelen, who co-authored the study as a post-doctoral fellow
in psychiatry at
Furthermore, research shows that
through the use of different coping strategies, challenged individuals not only
think differently, but also act differently. The optimist tends to focus on, and plan
for the 'problem' at hand. The
optimist uses 'positive reinterpretation.' In other words, the individual is most
likely to reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps s/he learn and
grow. This individual is more like
to accept a situation that offers little or no control to the individual, and,
therefore, the person will often seek support from others. The pessimist is more likely to engage in
denial, through the suppression of feelings and disengagement from set goals.
(d) As a result of researching the
topic, I conclude that it is more beneficial to be optimistic rather than be
pessimistic in terms of obtaining the positive outcomes. However, I found that levels of optimism
and pessimism may not always be strongly related. There’s good reason to consider them
separately. Just because a person
doesn’t expect good things to happen in the future, researchers can’t assume
they therefore expect bad things to happen. In my opinion, both moderate optimistic
and pessimistic thinking help people to move forward achieving their goal.
(e) The
possible next step to understand this issue would be to explore “optimism vs.
pessimism” as traits of people.
Some researchers have argued that optimism is a stable personality
trait, and that it isn’t affected by life events. In other words, the argument was that
optimistic people will remain optimistic, no matter what’s going on in their
lives.
(f) My advice to the future
generations is to be optimistic rather than pessimistic. When you encounter an incident what
makes you upset, try to look into the positive aspect of it rather than let it
make you upset.
http://www.kaaj.com/psych/scales/esteem.html
http:/www.acs.ohio-state.edu/units/research/archive/pessim.htm
Walkley, R (1997) Self-Efficacy
in Health Related Behavior Change
http://trochim.human.cornell.edu/gallery/walkley/self-eff.htm#what%20is%20self%20efficacy
MacArthur, T. C. (1998) Research Network on
Socioeconomic Status and Health
http://www.macses.ucsf.edu/Research/Psychosocial/notebook/optimism.html
Study: Positive
thinking reduces risk of heart disease
(May 2002 Issue)
http://www.masspsy.com/leading/0205_heart.html
ABILITY Magazine |
Optimizing Optimism
http://abilitymagazine.com/jenner_optimism.html
Research Topic 5: Will mixing
Coca-Cola and Aspirin bet you high?
(a)
Coca-Cola was originally green. The
Mormons own the Coca-Cola Company.
Coca-Cola is giving away free cases of soda to people who forward an
e-mail message…Apparently there are many interesting rumors about
Coca-Cola. Some people say that
mixing Coca-Cola and aspirin will get you high. Is this rumor true or false?
(b) In my fist search, I found a few
sites discussing the actual experience of drinking a can of coke dissolving a
few aspirin. Through their
experiment, the writers conclude that it is not true that “mixing coca-cola and
aspirin will get you high.” During
the next search I found the site illustrating the list of rumors about
Coca-Cola. For instance, it is true
that “Coca-Cola used to contain cocaine.”
I also found the site that gives details of ingredients and the possible
explanation of getting you high.
(c) The chemical name for aspirin is
acetylsalicylic acid, an acetylated version of the primary agent in willow
bark. The reactive chemicals in
Coca-Cola are most likely phosphoric acid or carbonic acid (caused by
dissolving carbon dioxide in water).
IAC, the reagents would react extremely low yield, and any products of
this reaction are undoubtedly physiologically neutral. Most psychoactive compounds are complex
organic molecules, and the likely product would have a small molecular weight
and not be very likely to do anything.
If there were a high, it could have to do with lightheadedness from
blood thinning (if taken in *massive* doses) or the placebo effect.
Finally, as for Coca-Cola and
aspirin's being a hangover cure, we come to one bit of the lore which has
something to it. Individually, both of these products couldn't help but make
things better at a time like that -- the Coke because it helps dehydrate an
alcohol-dried body, and the aspirin because it eases
the physical suffering of a pounding head.
When served up together, the combination packs a much greater
pain-killing effect than either of the products would on their own because the caffeine
in the soda appears to work to boost the effect of the aspirin.
Most articles conclude that it is
not true that mixing of coca-cola and aspirin get you high, just as I
thought. It is just one of the
rumors that coca-cola has had since the beginning of sale.
(d)
I conclude that mixing Coca-Cola and aspirin will not get you high.
(e)
The possible step to investigate this issue will be to search the relevant
evidence and opinion for this claim.
(f) Find out more rumors about Coke
at http://www.grahambrunk.com/coke.htm You might
enjoy them.
Mikkelson, P. (1995) Urban Legends Reference Pages
http://www.grahambrunk.com/coke.htm
http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/aspirin.asp
ABCNEWS.com : Coke Fights
Arabic 'Rumor'
abcnews.go.com/sections/world/DailyNews/
egypt000518_coke.html
www.louisville.edu/~eablan02/essay.html
Research Topic 6: Behind Every Great Man,There Is a Great Woman
(a) Some believe that behind every great man, there is a great woman and the successful relationship between men and women is based on this principle. Is a woman really wiser than men in their relationship? You think women are better at relationships, right? Not so fast.
(b) The searching terms, “women’s
role” did not direct me to any useful site. Instead, I used the terms; “relationship
between men and women,” which guided me to the web of Dr. Haltzman
who is interest in the nature of the married relationship grows from
observations made over years of providing individual and couple’s therapy. His research focuses on seeking out data
to better help understand the relationship patterns of husbands and wives, and
the techniques individuals use to advance the institution of marriage. For the next search, I decided to find
the good example of “a great woman
behind every great man.” I thought
of Kita no Mandokoro (or O-ne)
who was the wife of one of the greatest Shogun, Toyotomi,
Hideyoshi, in the seventeenth century of
(c) According to Dr. Haltzman, one of the key differences in communication
between men and women is that women tend to articulate the process of their
thinking and decision making. Men
go through the same processes, but internally rather than externally. Men usually wait until they have the
answer and then announce it. Women
usually talk about their internal analysis as they go along. Couples often find this gets in the way
of successful communication because men often mistake women's deliberations as
the 'final answer', while women think the man is not even considering the
issue. This is why men often accuse
women of 'changing their mind', while women accuse men of 'not caring.'
Women more likely to
react to marital unhappiness by leaving. Women are also more likely to criticize
their spouses. It's understandable
that women express dissatisfaction in the home, as women traditionally have
rule of the roost. So they have the
right to raise household concerns.
But each complaint they lodge puts the ball in the husband's court. Instinctually men shun these complaints
by stonewalling or becoming defensive.
When a husband responds by avoiding his wife, the
quality of the marriage declines.
The unsuccessful husband assumes his wife is a relationship expert, and
reacts in kind to her harsh lead, thereby further contributing to marital
discontent.
Statistics suggest that men husbands
can counter their wives' discontent by becoming marriage experts
themselves. 85% of the variance in
whether a marriage succeeds or fails is based on the husband's actions and
attitude. John Gottman,
PhD, discovered that successful marriages involve husbands who resist immediate
negative reactions to their wives' concerns. These men increase the odds of having a
happy marriage by allowing themselves to accept the
influence of their spouse. They
recognize an opportunity to use their "man" skills to solve the
problem.
Here is a good example of great
woman behind the great man. She was
the first wife of Toyotomi Hideyoshi,
known as Nene (or O-ne). At the age of 14, she married the man
then known as Kinoshita Tokichiro, the later, Toyotomi, Hideyoshi. She was a person of great intellect, and
won the esteem of Hideyoshi's overlord,
Nobunaga. Her husband's successes
are in large part due to her. In
the course of his lifetime, Hideyoshi took no less
than sixteen principal wives (the role is inferior to that of first wife), and
had two children by one of them - Lady Yodo - but it
was Nene who counseled him in affairs of state. When Hideyoshi
was appointed Imperial Regent (kanpaku), it was Nene who was given the formal title of regent's wife,
Kita-no-Mandokoro. She worked to ensure smooth relations
between the Toyotomi clan and the imperial
house. After the death of Hideyoshi in 1598, Lady Yodo
moved to
In summery, it is not always the
case that relationships that a woman’s role is to help her man to improve
himself, and wise is the man who cooperates. Men should help women, and women should support
men. The relationship is meaningful
and fulfilling when men and women can support each other for their
shortcomings.
(d) In conclusion, I feel that both
women and men should have an attitude of helping each other to improve
themselves. I believe that a woman
is not the only one to help her man improve himself,
nor women. Of course men and women
are different in many ways. Some
men are more like women; likewise some women are more like men. What’s important in relationship between
men and women is to try to understand and support each other. Work together at all times.
(e) The possible next step will be
to search more on relationship between men and women. There are more information you can find
about the relationship between men and women as well as how to overcome the
conflicts in marriage.
(f)
There are useful web sites that can help you to learn about marriage problems
from each other and teach you that you can do something about it, if you ever
need any help.
Haltzman, M.D. (2000) Secrets of Married Men
http://www.secretsofmarriedmen.com/
Kita
no Mandokoro
http://www.sengoku-expo.net/text/person/E/076.html
Haltzman, M. D. (2002) Secrets of Married Men
Men
share their secrets for marriage success
http://www.menweb.org/haltzman1.htm