"Planning on searching out information on instant gratification, because I have to"

"This is the first time doing this, I’m not sure what is going to happen."

"I’m still in the budding phases"

"3-5-6 hrs to search"

Finally, I gave up..."

"I fell behind and this is the first step to catching up."

"I’m done woo hoo"

It seems that when we all started these initial searches, in spite of how interesting most of the topics were, we felt like we were doing it at gun point. From searching through the various search forms that were filled out, it seemed unanimous that we were doing the search "because we have to." This seems like it would be the most logical first stage.

Once we start the search, and get over the brief feeling that we were "at gun point" to conduct these searches, it is easy to see that all students were fairly unsure of what was going to be the outcome. No matter how adept the student was, a series of mystery and learning type feelings were experienced. This mystery and learning stage seems most logically the second stage, as it is still early in the game.

After a few searches it became very easy to just give up, and fall behind. Many students expressed that they had not done searches for a while and had just given up, allowing themselves to consequently fall behind. As many of us found, this is a horrible mistake and many students would pay dearly for it.

Once you get over the procrastination, and build up the guts to get on the horse again, it was common to find that students would express feelings of joy and accomplishment. It became miraculously easier to conduct these searches. It is difficult to determine why, exactly, the searches became easier. It could be a combination of the fact that we were behind, the fact that we understood a little better how to conduct the searches, or that we became motivated by the fact that we needed these searches for the various reports required for the class.

I actually find that I too went through these same stages, some of them to an extreme. Initially I had felt like I was a POW, and being tortured until I started doing the research, and once I started I found that I wasn’t quite sure what was expected. I already had lots of experience just browsing and "surfing" the internet, so that part wasn’t a mystery. What was a mystery was what exactly was expected of these searches and discussions. I had to learn what to do by just doing it, and observing what other students were doing in their searches and discussions. However, once I got into the flow, I realized that it was taking lots of time to find substantial articles on the topics, and I gave up. I did some pretty heavy duty procrastination, and finally I realized that I’d better get moving again.

During the course of this class we have been given the opportunities to learn about researching on the web, by doing exactly that. With each research session that we embarked on we had to fill a form which details our emotional state before, during and after the search was conducted.

Once I had figured out the topic, and my angle, I would pull up my web browser (which I began to enjoy using "google" for these searches) and would type in my search. I tried to keep my search parameters very short, and distinct to what I wanted to find out. I had already been fairly adept at using the internet to search for topics, so I found that I had little trouble finding sites that were worthy of posting a discussion on. What I started having trouble with was finding multiple sites that covered the exact same subject that I was searching for.

With this in mind, I began also working on my bibliography report which would take multiple topics from the discussion forums and tie them together into one discussion style report covering areas of each topic.

While conducting each of these searches, to include the Bibliography report, I found that the most horrible and treacherous task quickly became the forms we had to fill out. I absolutely hated these forms. If there is any one thing that caused me rage, it was filling out these forms. However, in hindsight, I now understand the worth of these forms not that I had to use the forms of others to make up the early parts of this research paper. These forms do give a fair amount of insight into what is going on in our heads before, during and after the searches. However, with that said, they still were the bane of my existence for quite some time.

Mood: My mood seemed to jump between an 8 and a 2 during the course of these various searches, it all depended on when I was doing them. The earlier in the day I started the search, the better my mood. The later in the day it got, it seemed I got more tired, and grumpy before even starting the search.

Importance: I would definitely say that I was a strong neutral primarily because it was important that I got it done, because it was a course requirement. However, in the back of my mind I still have something that says "aw, what the heck…its only homework" and the laziness begins to kick in. This kind of prevents me from assessing a higher score to this area, even though a higher mark is probably deserved.

Success: Before beginning this course, I had already gained a substantial knowledge of how to search for internet topics, as well as little tricks on how to get exactly what you want. This kept the level of predicted success, and actual success at a fairly high level. This, coupled with the fact that the internet is huge, and filled with information (or MISinformation sometimes) that it is impossible to not find something on a specific topic.

Luck: I actually don’t feel that I can assess a whole lot of value to luck in this sort of situation. It seems to me that any success I would have had was due primarily to my own skills, or lack thereof, in searching the internet.

Motivation: My motivation seemed to vary, depending on when it was that I was doing the search, and how long I had procrastinated. I found that later in the semester, after I had procrastinated a substantial amount, my motivation was less and all I wanted was to get done. I was more grumpy than anything else.

Irritation: I found that my irritation level varied the same as my motivation. I became more irritated towards the end of the semester, after the procrastination, because I waited so long to do the searches. I wasn’t really irritated at the search, but the fact that I had procrastinated. I feel that this adversely affected my mood and feelings during and after the discussion was conducted.

Anxiety: My anxiety level is usually very low. I like to wipe any anxiety I may have about a situation, or subject, because I find that it distracts you from performing at an optimum level. However, I also attribute my low anxiety on these searches to the fact that it was only an internet search. It wasn’t like landing a jet in heavy rain and wind, which I have done and THAT is anxiety!

Frustration: My frustration level, like my motivation, mood and irritation, was directly affected by my procrastination. I feel that any frustration I may have felt was due more to the fact that I procrastinated on almost half of these, and ended up having to rush towards the end. It was not fun, and I really wish I had not done that to begin with.

Rage: Rage? I can honestly say that rage is WAY too strong of a word for a subject like this. You would rage if someone ran over your dog, or if someone wrecked your car, or if someone killed a family member, NOT if an internet search engine gives you trouble. The only thing that really started to aggravate me, as I’ve said before, was the forms we had to fill out. It seemed like they took forever, and it became maddening that they were the same questions everytime, almost always requiring a similar response to weeks in the past.

Effort: I found that my effort was irrelevant to anything I was doing on these topics. I’m used to putting lots of effort into things, and with these searches, and how easy the internet makes it, the only effort I really had to expend was on figuring out which good web-site to choose from.

I find that my mood, regardless of what it deals with, really has lots to do with the actual action itself. Not necessarily WHAT the action is, but how, when, and why I am doing it. If I am doing it after being well rested, I am doing it with lots of time to accomplish it, and I am doing it purely because I am interested in the action, I have a very positive emotional outlook on the situation. However, I found that majority of the time, with this semester, I was a little more "behind the eight-ball" than I would have liked to be. This adversely affected my emotional self, but did not seem to affect the outcome of my searches. I still seemed to successfully complete my searches, and in the end, was happy about that.

One of the things that I have learned through military and martial arts training is that no matter what you feel, and no matter how you feel about what you are doing, if you have a task or a mission, you need to do everything possible to complete it. Especially if something important depends on its completion. Which this is very much so the case for me. If I do not get a good grade in this class, I will not be able to go to Air Force Pilot Trainning in the fall like I am supposed to. So, I found that any cognitive processes, and affective hindrances I may have had, did not interact too much with each other to affect my completion of the task, in the end.. No matter how much I didn’t want to do them, in the end and after much procrastination, I needed to get it done, and that’s exactly what I did.

So, I suppose, putting it into technical terms, I found that my affective self played very little in my cognitive processes. While I did, accidentally let my frustration with the task itself allow me to procrastinate on the following searches, I was able to put that aside, and get the mission accomplished in the end. To me, that is the ultimate reward, completion of a task and knowing that no matter what adversities you may have encountered, it was accomplished, and done so to the best of your abilities.

When comparing my data and forms to those of G17, I find them amusingly similar. Each person seemed to start of a little confused and mystified, began to learn, felt an incredible low, and then began to feel an "up" and the feelings of success. It seems, in my experiences, that whenever you start a brand new thing, that this is the normal and logical course of emotional development. That is why it is called "starting something new." You hardly know what to expect, sometimes some frustration as you learn about what you are doing, and after that low and frustration, the highs and joy of successfully completing your first "whatever" it is you are doing.

I often enjoy doing new things, as I think most of G17 can agree with, that this was, in the end, an enjoyable experience. No matter how much experience you may have had before this with internet searching, everyone experienced similar emotional development, and attacked these phases and stages similarly. What seems to set individuals apart is how they ultimately felt about the whole ordeal. People like myself, assess the situation in terms of what was accomplished, and end results. Some people talked more about the adversities that were experienced, and the emotions they felt. While others focused more on the individual tasks that it took to accomplish the goal.

I feel that everything you do will have its differences, and how you approach each task will have its individual differences as well. However, the one thing that remains the same is that you are working to accomplish a goal. So, instead of worrying about how much it took to get here, why not bask in the glory of the fact that you got here. Try your hardest, and work towards the goal. As long as you know you’ve given it your best shot, the true reward will come from the end of the rainbow.

In the article we were given, Dr. James tries to bring together the understanding of educational behavioral levels. Part of this article’s purpose is to help younger students who are just beginning their upper level education, like myself, to become more self sufficient, self teaching, learners who can use the various tools at their expense. He does this by describing the various levels/stages that students go through, the first of which is as a beginner with nothing but the raw material to work with. With no real personal basis to use, it becomes helpful an supportive to view previous generations’ work so we can see what the final outcome should be, and for us to have a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.

In the affective behavioral stage we learn, via use of the internet and computers, we learn confidence in our abilities. We will stumble and continue to stumble along the way. But by constantly working with the various projects and still being encouraged to look back at other’s work from prior generations, we will continue to push forward and learn to use a tool that we always had, but never used to its fullest capacities.

The cognitive behavioral stage now begins, as we receive more information and opportunities to build on what we have already learned. With the amount of constant interaction with other students online, as well as in the classroom, we can see that we are not alone in this, and can learn from each other. We can now begin to take what it is that we have learned, and organize and use this information in ways that we would not have been able to do alone, and do this with confidence.

With the sensorimotor behavioral step, we now can take what we have learned ourselves, and with others, and use the knowledge to create a higher understanding of ourselves, and of information learning/literacy. We essentially begin to have the ability to work alone on similar projects effectively, and on a wider variety of projects that we could not have done alone. We can now do this with confidence because we have seen what the outcome of such tasks can yield. We have the proof from our forms, and our papers, that although we will encounter adversity, we will be better for it in the end.