By: Jennifer Combs
Instructions to Report 1
Jayson Nakasone's Report from G10, his was basically on gender differences in driving but there is some good relevance to it. He also explains that you need traffic psychology when driving with ignorant people. Well no matter what the case may be you need to have thoughts, feelings, and actions with anything you may be a part of. This can be related to the gender unity model by needing thoughts, feelings, and actions with your partner in a gender relationship just as you may need the same for driving in traffic.
Jennifer Ah Sing's Report from G15, focuses on the threefold self model through driving as well. Yet there are some good points pertaining to both. She did her report on the Emotional Spin Cycle. She touched on how emotions effect us and gave examples such as survival emotions: fear, anxiety, hope and faith. Later she explained the difference between emotions and feelings. Some examples of feelings she gave were: sad, happy, excited, etc. By knowing these such differences, you are able to explain to your loved one clearly how you feel to help them understand you better.Alohaspirit's Report from G16, focuses a great amount on the Emotional Spin Cycle, however the threefold self-model is put into the perspective as well. When she touches on the Threefold Self, she states that it is a process of socialization with certain feelings, thoughts, and actions toward norms of a particular society. These thoughts, feelings, and actions are picked up and internalized. These aspects are based on the Threefold Self which is composed of cognitive, affective, and sensorimotor areas. One goes through these stages when reaching towards unity with your partner.
Chart of the Three Models in Gender Relations
|LEVEL OF UNITY||NAME OF MODEL||THREEFOLD
IN THE RELATIONSHIP
III. Annotated Bibliography
Category 1: 5 Articles on Gender Relationship
|Topic 1: The Social Psychology of Relationships by Leon James|
1) The key notion that establishes a relationship as a frame for behavioral interaction is the concept of "Episode." This focuses on sociology and anthropology.
2) Episode is defined as the fundamental state of contact between the individuals forming a community.
3) Another focus is on the "Triadic Aspect" which is episodic, transactional, and topical. It relates somewhat to the threefold self model.
Topic 2:The Essential Feminine, By: Rev. Dandridge Pendleton
4) This article involves the conjugial love doctrine among the New Church. They state that those who want to follow this doctrine or beliefs of the New Church, then it is their own decision.
5) The Conjugial Love doctrine is based on those who approach the Lord, follow the church, and do good for the church. By doing so, love can exist and continue.
6) "Conjugial Love is a state of regeneration." It is explained that the difference among married couples achieving love is different than achieving Conjugial love. Marriage love is gained through mutual, reciprocal assistance. "While conjugial love is gained and secured by virtue of regeneration undertaken and achieved individually. "
|Topic 3: The Difference between the Sexes from Divine Revelation and from Experience|
7) "Marriage is at risk in our culture and needs to support." Societies see that marriages are glue that holds communities together. However, this philosophy is hard to understand or actually do, if you do not understand differences between men and women.
8) Some differences between man and woman are as followed. Man is known for wisdom. "Characteristics of man's intellectual wisdom, are knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom. "The female on the other hand is born to be a form love." A woman is to become the love of a man's wisdom.
9) ...[It is wives who inspire or insinuate the love in their husbands, because not a particle of conjugal love, not even of love for the opposite sex is seated in men, but only in wives and women (CL 161).
This aspect sounds somewhat harsh towards men, however it is a thought that needs to be looked at in a deeper perspective. Society thinks that women are the sweet, loving ones but it is the man who decides who to love and who not too. However a woman is sweet and loving for a reason, this is how she was born and it is carried along with her. It is only perceived on the outside that the men are the ones to hold this true.
|Topic 4: The Surrendered Wife and the Surrendered Husband|
10) RULE 1: The first and only rule is that husbands are to learn to love acting from the wife, more than from self
I find this is a hard aspect to conjure because men are looked at as being the dominate ones in a relationship. I know times have changed and this concept isn't really of who dominates who. However it is difficult for men to think that if they need to learn to love by acting from the wife instead of the self. Now the reasoning behind this is due to the fact that women are born already to be connected to unity with someone and they end up living in this way. Men feel they need to be independent and do as they want. It is a very deep aspect but if you look more into it, it can really be beneficial.
11) The basic principles of a surrendered wife are that she:
Relinquishes inappropriate control of her husband.
Respects her husband's thinking
Receives his gifts graciously and expresses gratitude for him
Expresses what she wants without trying to control him.
These are the areas which this wife changed and tried to make things better in her relationship. I can see myself doing these things in my marital relationship and I don't want to be one of those nagging wives. My husband and I are very close but boy do we have our moments. The one that I can see myself doing more-so is the last aspect she touched on. I tend to express what I want in mean manners sometimes, however I don't really see myself trying to do it out of controlling him. I am going to work on how I say things and do it in nicer ways.
12) "If a man acts from his wife from without, he is not a man but a zombie under the woman’s control."
I think that this is how men in general feel when they do not know how beneficial the threefold self model can be. They think why would I want to agree with my wife when I have my own opinions? Now I don't think they totally have to agree but first be open-minded to what is being discussed instead of being hard headed and believing only what you think. I think all of us can be this way, but to make a marriage or any gender relationship work, there needs to be compromise and open-mindedness. I don't feel that one should dominate the other.
Topic 5: Conjugial Love Stories
13) " In every person after death, love for the opposite sex continues to be what it was like inwardly, that is, what it was like in the person's inner will and thought in the world. All a person's love goes with him after death, because love is the inner being of his life."
This is a very deep thought to think about now instead of the usual case of later in you life. Since it is said that "all a person's love goes with them after death, it is necessary to find the true love and happiness with the person you vowed your whole life with. At times you get so angry and disappointed, but as stated earlier, if you are open-minded, agreement is likelier to occur.
14) "There are two states that a person goes through after death, an external state and an internal state. A person comes first into the external state, and afterwards into the internal one. It is during the external state if both partners have died that they meet, recognize each other, and, if they lived together in the world, associate and live together for a time. When they come into their internal state, the feelings manifest themselves. And if these feelings are concordant and congenial, the partners continue their married life."
Continuing this deep thought, it is said that if you meet the internal state then you have achieved unity in your relationship in the world. So why not want to maintain a happy marriage as this and want to have happiness with the one you love so deeply? Well it can be easier said than done. There is a large amount of work needed to maintain such a strong relationship in the world and after death.
15) "A love for the opposite sex is love for several of the opposite sex and experienced with several, whereas conjugial love is love solely for one of the opposite sex and experienced with one."
In today's society, pre-marital sex, relationships, co-habiting occur regularly. This seems to be the way we try to find that one true love of our lives. Now it is hard to say that I am going to be with this person and this person only, unless you are marrying that person but you never know those circumstances either. I can see that conjugial love is being with the one you love and say you will love for the rest of your lives. Meaning you should not marry one person and go out and cheat on them with a number of other people. Conjugial love is based on unity and getting to that step in your relationship. It is some work but life can't always be cake.
Category 2: 2 Articles on Gender and Driving
|Topic 1: Gender Differences in Driving: Your Driving Me Nuts!: By Ike Matsunaga|
16) Cara Lucey explains some reasons why men and women have so called gender differences in driving, this reason is "Stereotypes".
17) Some examples of stereotypes would include:
~"Men are suppose to be capable of fixing cars when they need repair."
~"Women should be submissive and compliant."
18) Cara Lucey feels that stereotypes in many situations are used to maintain social structure. I do agree with this in some ways because people in general react to certain aspects because of the realm of stereotypes in our society. There are so many stereotypes based on both men and women and it would be great if people were more open-minded because things change everyday in our society.
19) Inkyung Yang believes that gender differences in driving are due to social influences as well as understanding gender-appropriate behaviors as a child. I definitely agree with this perspective because so many parents tell their child they need to behave a certain way due to their gender. Some examples might be, "Come on Emma, you don't want to play with GI-Joes, these Barbies are much more fun." For a child to mature into an adult and hearing such comments can make them act a certain way.
20) Another idea brought up in this report was the fact of many thinking women drivers are more likely to cause or to be in car accidents. However the statistics were different. Yang found that in 94, male fatal car crashes were 3times higher than that of women.
21) A funny but true story that Yang found on the net was:
"I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on I-95 I look over to my left and there's this woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I look away for a couple seconds and when I look back she's halfway over in my lane. Scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee."
~This just explains how stereotypes can come about along with them not being true. Look at men blaming women for being careless and hazardous drivers while they do practically the same multitasking acts when they are behind the wheel.
Category 3: 2 Articles on Analyzing Talk by Leon James
Topic 1: Krupat Reading Report
22) Krupat describes self-witnessing as something very different in her life. She felt this was something you just need to take time and observe to see your daily cognitive, affective and sensorimotor functions.
As for myself, I experienced this in Dr. James' 459 class and I found it to be something very different. At first you do not think as though you need to really observe obvious things that you are doing in you life, but looking at them in a psychological way makes things different.
23) Krupat also explains the threefold self model. However in her class the terms are different compared to our class. The levels of this model are classified from letters A-C.
These are then related to the Spiritual Self, Reflective Self, and the Automatic Self.
24) This topic is very different, just as the self-witnessing procedure. However it gives you a different perspective on relationships and can help them meet unity.
|Topic 2: Behavioral Technology of Discourse Analysis|
25) In this model or theory, verbal behavior is thought to be in three levels just as the threefold self model.
I find this interesting because this model goes all the way back to 1972 and is still being learned today. These levels are as we have learned already, Affective, Cognitive, Sensorimotor. They are established through social reinforcers. It was stated that the behavior of one is influenced on that of another. I find this to be true more-so than not. High school students do show this at a higher rate than others. It can even be related to trends that are occurring, if someone says, a certain phrase on TV it will be said somewhere else depending on the situation.
26) This model or theory originated from Skinner, and he found many relations pertaining to discourse analysis.
He focused on three building blocks of behavior and they were "mands" ,"tacts", and autoclitics. He felt that these three areas helped your verbal behaviors function. I have never heard of these terms before but from what was explained I can see some relation. It is interesting to think so deeply about a topic, even when it is how someone talks.
27) "The organization of discourse must parallel the organization of mental and affective states since there is a functional dependence between inner states and outer behaviors."
It is true that discourse should parallel the organization of mental and affective states, because if this did not occur, then many people would not get along. You wouldn't think before you did something, not saying some don't already do this. Also it would be hard to make friends, people would just act out on their outer behaviors etc. This concept is somewhat difficult to interpret, but it definitely relates to the threefold self model because of different states needing to be in order to maintain happiness.
Category 4: 1 Article on Student Reports on Analysis of Talk
|Topic 1: Transcript of Dinner with four friends|
28) The beginning and throughout the dinner there were specific topics brought up and discussed among the friends.
I find this interesting to notice when people are having discussions. You are able to see when and where people stop what they are discussing. It is also interesting to see if the friends interrupt one another. As discussed in class, interruption can be a cultural aspect. What is meant by this is the fact that in different cultures they know when to stop and continue talking. Among the four friends I really only noticed interruption once. They seemed to give each other enough leeway to continue the conversation.
29) Also food helped as similarity among the group to have conversation.
I find this to be very true because there are so many times when people go out to dinner to discuss important things going on in their workplace or as a social function. It is good for friends who haven't see one another in a long time, as well as friends that do a weekly lunch to spend time together. Food is a very helpful way to maintain friendships as well as a social reinforcer.
30) Lastly Morifuji explained that the histories among those you are speaking to pertain to the lengths and how close the conversations can be.
I thought this was a good aspect to think about because it is something many do not look at. For instance, you would not have a conversation with someone on the street about your date the night before. You would have conversations like these with a good friend that you have trust for. Another example would be the fact that you would not have a conversation with your best friend in a short meaningless way. Perhaps you ran into her at the mall, you would not just say hello how are you? and go on with your shopping. In most cases depending on the situation, you may end up doing shopping together.
This assignment helped me identify my own ideas on gender relationships because I was able to see some actual research done or evidence stating what can go on in gender relationships, especially in marriages. It is useful to me because I am married and I can see so much more in depth about our relationship and why we do certain things in our daily lives. I feel that the approach to "unity" can have a significant impact on my future as well as others. The reason I feel this is true is do to the fact that men and women do act certain ways due to their differences and it can be worked out to find unity and have happiness in their lives and later in life. I am not too positive about my feelings of the afterlife in regards to the unity model. I would probably feel more certain in that area if I read more of Sweden Borg's research. I do feel that the unity model can impact other gender relationships in our society because it is true about how men and women react to one another and if it is understood more clearly it can only help relationships later in the future. I think that it can strongly help in gender role stereotypes and sexism because if men and women can see clear pictures as to why they react the way they do or why they do certain things differently, then there would be less putting down of the other sex. I do definitely feel that men and women can be better off if this idea spreads, but there are so many that are set in stone with their opinions. I always think that if people know more about a subject of any sort they can make things better in their society in someway. I think that it will take some time for me to be totally affected by how I would participate in gender relationships now, only because even if I were to feel a certain way, it doesn't mean that others will so it can be somewhat frustrating if I am the only one seeing this perspective.
V. Future Generations
To those of you taking Dr. James' class, stay positive and open-minded as you learn in and outside of class. Always make sure you do your work in advance or give yourself plenty of time because you will need it. As you are reading the topics from G20 see how things in your life can pertain to this particular model and how it can be useful to you and others in the future. Even though we don't seem very far into our class right now, I feel as though I am learning a great deal of helpful and interesting information. It seems as though the model we are discussing in Dr. James' class as if it is against men. It seems as though some of the males in class have very different opinions, but I think that if you get into this situation, do as I suggested and stay open-minded, look more into what is being discussed.
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