0. Title of the report:
My
Proposal for TV Ratings on Anti-Unity Values (AUV)
in Gender
Behavior
By Brigitlynn Duclos
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy20/g20lecturenotes409b.htm
1. Preface
My report 2 had to deal with
mapping the threefold self in gender relationships. The first step in report 2 was to define
self-witnessing and the threefold self.
After giving our own definition, we had to give some examples from the
generational curriculum. These terms were
used as guidelines for our report. We
had to conduct a self-witnessing experiment on a couple we knew. The experiment consisted of keeping track of
how the threefold self in the partnership was engaged. We had to collect data and observe the couple
in various daily social interactions.
After reviewing our data we had to analyze our observations and try to
assess their level of unity in their relationship by using the unity model
discussed in class and in our readings.
The experiment in report 2
was to keep track of how the threefold self in the partnership was
engaged. The purpose of observing a
couple and gathering data was to see how a man and a woman in a relationship
relate to each other in the senorimotor, cognitive,
and affective self. The purpose of
report 2 was also to see whether our observations support the model of
unity. The assignment made me more
knowledgeable on the different models, levels of unity, and the different
interacting domains of the individuals threefold self. The information I learned from the last
report will help me interpret my and my partners’ interactions in my future
relationships. The purpose of this
report 3 was to observe events, words, or attitudes that go against the unity
model in the TV shows we watch. The task
was to describe and take notes on anti-unity values and explain the scene and
why we think the scene is promoting an anti-unity value (AUV).
2. Introduction
There are three different
models in a gender relationship that a couple must achieve in order to reach
unity in a partnership. The first level
of unity in the model is called the Traditional or Dominance Model and involves
the sensor motor (external) part of the threefold self. The second level is called the Equity Model
and involves the cognitive (internal) threefold self. The third and highest level is called the Unity
Model and it involves the Affective (inmost) self. The overall model says that a man and a woman
can form a partnership where they can become unified at all of the three levels
of the threefold self. The affective
level is the deepest and most determinative because it guides the other two
levels. However, the level of
conjunction is not possible unless both partners abandon the prior two
models. Gender unity is based on differentiation
of traits that are reciprocal. In a
heavenly marriage, there is no predominance and the two conjoin and are
mutually linked together. They each love
and think like one another and therefore form reciprocity and are conjoined
into one. When this happens, the
marriage and couple have reached perfect unity.
Doctrine of the Wife for
Husbands-A Spiritual Practice for Achieving Unity--Part 1 by Leon James www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy/instructor/gloss/wife.html
3. Class Oral
Presentations and Lecture Discussions
Oral 1 Topic: Revolt Of Woman: www.newchurchissues.org/wip/MF/mf15wg.htm
This oral presentation was
given March 2, 2004. The first idea that
I thought was interesting was on the superiority of man to inferiority of
woman. It said that a husband is wisdom
of love and that he speaks out mind from that wisdom. The woman is love of that wisdom and she
listens and recognizes, accepts or rejects.
I think that this is the basis one must know about understanding
reciprocity and unity. The second idea
that I took from this topic was about the superiority of woman to inferiority
of man. The main idea from this was that
conjugal love depends on wife’s love. In
the end, the strength and unity of a marriage depends on the wife. The third idea that I was in agreement with
was that a heavenly marriage must consist of the good of natural man + truth of
spiritual man or the good of spiritual man + truth of celestial man. I agree with this idea because it is said
that a man must give in to a woman willingly to join in conjugal love with her.
An idea that was not clear to
me was why W.L. Gladesh rejects the idea about what a
heavenly marriage consists of. Another
idea that I did not understand completely was the statement that a conjugal
sphere is received by feminine sex and transferred into masculine sex.
Oral 2 Topic: Feminine Wisdom: http://www.newchurchissues.org/wip/MF/mf97es.htm
This oral presentation was
given March 30, 2004. The first idea I
want to discuss from this presentation is on how masculine wisdom and feminine
wisdom are equal yet different. The two
wisdoms are complementary and form to develop conjugal love. Their wisdoms are equal but different in what
they focus on. This is explained by my
next idea. Masculinity cannot be
converted into femininity, and vise versa.
The male is born intellect-oriented, with affection for knowing,
understanding, and becoming wise. The
female is born will-oriented, with love for joining herself to that affection
in the male. When a man and a woman
reach perfect unity, their wisdoms conjoin together and are then complete My last idea from this topic is on
distinctiveness and conjunctive ness. It
is explained that conjunction is for sharing what is distinctive in each. The husband is truth and understanding and
the wife is good and will. They each
have these aspects, but they predominate and are stronger in what they are
given from God.
What I did not understand was
this statement; the heavenly marriage is that of good with truth and of truth
with good of a higher and lower degree.
I don’t understand what it means from a higher or lower degree. Another thing I didn’t understand was about
divine light and divine warmth given to a man and a woman through divine wisdom
or divine love. I don’t understand what
is meant by light.
Oral 3 Topic: Doctrine of the Wife for Husbands: A Spiritual
Practice for achieving Unity by Leon James www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy/instructor/gloss/wife.html
This oral presentation was
given April 6, 2004. One idea that I
agreed with comes from the writings of Emanuel Swedenborg
on conjugal love and the doctrine of the wife.
A person’s strongest desire is to be united in conjugal love in a
marriage relationship. However, most
people especially men, are resistant to this type of love. I agree because we search through our lives
to find a partner that we can spend our entire lives with. However, men are scared to be with only one woman
for the rest of their lives. My second
idea distinguishes between natural love and spiritual love (conjugal
love). Natural love is external and
external marriage is masculinized. Spiritual love is internal and living the
doctrine of the wife feminizes internal marriage. This is because the woman is relationship
oriented. My last idea says that
feminizing the marriage takes place in the minds of the husbands. I agree because it is said that for conjugal
love to happen, a husband must voluntarily put his wife’s judgment above his
own.
There were two ideas that I
didn’t understand. The first said that
most people are resistant to conjugal love due to the evil tendencies that we
have inherited from our parents. I
didn’t understand this statement because I thought that what we were born with
came from what God gave us for example; wisdom, will, intelligence, love etc. The second
idea I didn’t understand came from the same topic. This idea said that evils can only be broken
down by a person being born anew by the Lord’s help, a process called
regeneration. I think that this article
should have explained what regeneration meant more in depth.
4. My proposal for AUV
Ratings on TV (Anti-Unity Values)
4A. What
are AUV Ratings?
AUV Ratings is a way to
measure the amount of anti-unity values that are seen in everyday life. For this report we had to watch television
shows or movies and observe and take notes on the events, words or attitudes
that are viewed as contrary to the formation of unity between partners. In other words, rating how much or how little
a couple is going against the unity model.
4B. What Procedures I
Followed
To prepare myself, I used the
sample list that Dr James made up while he watched some episodes of the Soap,
One Life to Live. I read each example of
anti-unity values and then looked for some of those examples while watching the
television shows I chose. The television
shows I chose to watch were; Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, and the
Simpson’s. I then watched several
episodes of each and went down the list to see which and how many anti-unity
values I saw in each show. Lastly I
rated the amount of anti-unity values using the AUV scale.
4C. The
Data I Gathered
The data I gathered from each
television show came from the different events and attitudes I observed in each
episode. The data also came from using
the AUV list as a guide. I was surprised
to see so many anti-unity values displayed in the television shows. However, some of my data came from the show
itself and not particularly from a certain couple.
4D. The
AUV Scale
The AUV scale I used ranged
from 1-5. One was the lowest amount of
anti-unity for that value and five was the highest level of anti-unity for the
value observed. If the show has more one’s
and two’s that means that the couple or show is close to reaching unity More four’s or five’s means that the couple
or show is far from reaching unity.
Three’s are an average level.
4E. Testing Out the AUV
Scale
After rating each AUV from
each show I added up all the numbers to see which show had the most and the least
AUV. My results showed that The
Simpson’s were the least unified by 92%, Everybody Loves Raymond was next with 76%
and Friends had 73% of anti-unity values.
My results are further explained after my examples from each show.
Television Show #1:
Friends
Living together unmarried:
When watching the show
Friends I noticed that most of the anti-unity values came from observing Ross
and Rachel. They are a couple in the
show that has an on going off again on again relationship. The show is now in its final season and the
couple is currently not dating. However,
the two are living together unmarried.
This is an example of an AUV because living together comes from the
result of getting married and wanting to live with one person for the rest of
your life. Also, in the last episode I
watched, Rachel had decided to move away to Europe. This shows that she is not willing to make
the relationship work between the two. Rating- 4
Having Children out of
wedlock:
Ross and Rachel recently had
a daughter together. This is an AUV
because they are raising a child together, but they are not married. Also, they are living together for the time
being, but Rachel is considering moving away to another country. This goes against the first level of unity in
the unity model, the sensory-motor because this level involves what the couples
do together and enjoy together. If they
are raising a child, it doesn’t make sense that one partner moves away because
then they cannot enjoy the ability to raise the child together and to become
parents. Rating- 4
Accepting the idea that
it’s OK to “agree to disagree” about something’s:
I noticed this also in the
last episode when Rachel was planning to leave for Europe. The reason that Rachel is planning to move to
Europe is because she was fired from her last job and a new job has offered her
a raise if she moves. Through out the
course of the episode Ross kept bribing Rachel’s old boss to take her back and
give her a raise without her knowing.
Finally Rachel accepted the offer to stay in New York, but Ross noticed
that she seemed upset and unhappy. Ross
then felt bad that he had taken something from her that would have made her
happy. I viewed this as an AUV because
he never even brought up his feelings about her moving. Something so serious should be discussed
between the couple. They need to discuss
their opinions so that they can resolve or come to a conclusion about their
disagreement. This closure provides
acceptance of permanent separation between attitudes. This prevents complete unity because they are
now separated in that area. Rating- 5
Promiscuity and
bi-sexuality:
This AUV arises from one of
Ross’s previous relationships. Although
he is not bi-sexual, he had a wife that left him for another woman. And in his marriage, he and his wife had a
son. I consider this an AUV because he
has another child that he as an obligation to and that will be in his life
forever, and this child was not made from the love of Ross and Rachel. Also, the child will be placed above hers and
his own. Rating- 5
Same sex friends going out
as a group for fun and entertainment without their partners:
This is the same as girls
only or boys’ only entertainment. An
example of this would be how the guys go to hockey games together excluding the
girls however; this does not happen a lot.
This also goes against the first level of the unity model because this
is when the couple likes to do things together like watching movies, eating
out, talking, and going to events and so on. Rating- 2
Promoting the idea that
one should not try to change one’s partner but should accept them with their
faults, etc:
An example of this would be
between Monica and Chandler’s relationship.
Chandler accepts Monica with what others in the group of friends
consider a problem. Monica has an
obsession to clean and also hates to lose at things and can at times become
violent when she is loosing. However, he
knows that she has been like that all her life and therefore he accepts her and
marries her how she is. If Monica’s
problem bothered Chandler enough, this would be an AUV because a couple cannot
achieve unity if the partners cannot influence one another to change for one
another for their wants or needs. Both
partners should be motivate and willing to change for the other to make them
happy. Rating- 2
Television show #2: Every
Body Loves Raymond
Same sex friends going out
as a group for fun and entertainment without their partners:
While watching the sitcom
Everybody Loves Raymond, I focused on two couples. One couple was of course Raymond and his wife
Deborah and the other couple was Raymond’s parents. I watch this show every so often and I have
noticed that Raymond spends a lot of time with other friends; however I have
yet to see even one of Deborah’s friends.
Their was one show in particular when Deborah was upset and she told Ray
that he spends too much time golfing with his friends. I have also noticed that he watches a lot of
games on TV with his guy friends. These
actions do not follow the unity model because partners that have reached
perfect unity insist on exclusivity so that neither may carry on close
friendships with others. Rating- 4
Separate interests and
activities accepted for partners:
In the same episode that
Deborah gets mad at Ray for golfing so much, she also gives in and accepts
it. At first she got mad because he had
been spending most of his free time golfing and also because golfing is so
expensive. After he makes up an excuse
she lets him go on a golf trip because it makes him happy and she in return is
pleased because he is happy. However,
the time Ray spends with his friends is contrary to the unity model because in
the unity model, partners do not allow each other privacy or separate activities
that the other is not involved in. In
regards to the unity model, the couple always wants to be together because they
make each other happy. Rating- 4
Manipulating partner
through deception:
Again, in the same episode
Raymond lies and deceives Deborah to get his way. He knew that she did not want him golfing as
much, so he made a plan to make her feel sorry for him. He told her that his friend had organized a
free golf trip. To make her feel bad and
guilty, he said that he wasn’t going to go because he knew that it would make
her upset. She then agreed that he
should go if the trip was free, but then he would have to take some time off
from golfing. This goes against the
unity because when couples disagree they do not negotiate to reach a
consensus. Later in the episode Raymond
faints after playing hours of golf and the doctors’ prescription was to play
more golf to release some stress. After
seeing the doctors’ note, Deborah agrees to it and Ray is content even though
he knows his wife is unhappy. Here they
aren’t working towards the unity model because the man is not cooperating with
the woman’s attempt to change him. If
they were unified he would give in to her request of not playing golf and he
would be happy and content to be with only her. Rating- 4
Promoting the idea that
one should not try to change one’s partner but one should accept them with
their faults:
This AUV is displayed by both
of the women in the show towards their husbands. The women complain a lot about the men not
doing anything around the house, yet neither of them do anything about it They instead complain and at the same time
accept their husbands’ faults of being lazy.
This is contrary to the unity model because in a unified gender
relationship the partners are not tolerant of the others faults and they do not
try to live with their partners’ faults.
Instead they try to change them to make them better people. In unity, both the man and the woman are
willing to change for the other for the better of the relationship. Rating- 3
Making it look normal for
a man to have prerogatives or perks that women should accept and honor (ex.
serving men, being dominant, etc.):
Ray’s father best portrays
this AUV towards is wife. Ray’s father
is constantly making comments to his wife that makes him look more
dominant. He is very direct with what he
says and he is very demanding of her. An
example of this is when he says thing like, “ I’m
hungry, make me a sandwich”. Other ways
that this AUV is portrayed in the show is how the women cook and clean and no
help is expected or demanded from the men.
This goes against the unity model because the couples are tolerating
status differences between a man and a woman.
For example, Ray works and brings home money therefore his status is
higher because Deborah doesn’t work.
Instead she stays home to take care of the household. Ray might think that since he works, he
doesn’t have to help around the house because that’s Deborah’s job. Rating- 4
When watching the cartoon show, The Simpson’s, I observed most of the characters, but focused mainly on Homer. This fist AUV has nothing to do with Homer, it was just something I observed from the show. The cartoon has a character named Smithers’, which is homosexual. This character is always thinking or daydreaming of his boss Mr. Burns. This AUV definitely goes against the unity model because the model says that unity “conjugal love” comes from two principles. The first principle is differentiation. Differentiation says that no part of a woman is like any part of the man and vise versa. The second principle is reciprocity, which states that the perfection of unity increases with the diversity of its composing elements. It is their diversity that makes them work together, reciprocally. They would not work together as a unit or as one if there was no differentiation and reciprocity between them. Rating- 5
Boy’s only entertainment
This AUV of going out as a group and having fun without their partner is displayed through both Homer and his son Bart. Homer spends a lot of time away from home and separated from his wife. He goes to work while she stays home and takes care of the household chores. Aside from that, he spends time with his male friends at the bar and at the bowling alley. Bart also has this attitude of boy’s only entertainment and it is shown with his tree house. He never lets his sister come up to the tree house to play or for the meetings because he says its boy’s only. Homer is not showing feelings of unity because in the unity model, partners can’t stand being separated even for a few hours, and they tend to get very anxious. Rating- 4
Separate interests and activities accepted for
partners
I have seen this AUV displayed by both, Marge and Homer. I have seen episodes when both have wanted to be in a certain activity that excluded the other partner. Both situations led to an argument or disagreement, yet they compromised or accepted the others wish. One example in the show was when Marge wanted to be in the town play. Homer didn’t want her to be in the play because she would be away from house a lot and he didn’t want to be left with all the responsibilities. After he realized that being in the play meant a lot to her, he gave in to her wish. Marge also lets Homer do a lot of activities that do not include her. For example he goes to the bar, and he bowls with his guy friends. This goes against the unity model because they have negotiated with something the other partner does not agree with. Their thoughts and ideas on activities are different and done separate. They have allowed for distance and privacy in their activities. They should want to do things together and have fun in the same activities. Rating- 4
Promoting the idea that one should not try to change
one’s partner but should accept them with their faults:
This is shown through Marge’s loving Homer with all of his faults. This is proven in the show because at times, Homer has recognized his faults and has apologized to Marge. Marge, in return tells him that she loves him no matter what. Homer is unhealthy and over weight, lazy, not very bright, rude, and can be a slob sometimes. However, Marge never makes it a point or encourages him to exercise or eat healthy. She accepts him how he is and tries nothing to improve him. When a couple is reaching for unity, they must be able to give and receive constructive criticism. Each will want to better themselves for their partner. Partners should have confidence in each other feeling free of any criticism. Rating- 5
Making it look like what women say and think is as less important:
There are a couple of different male characters in the show that behave in this way; Homer, Bart, and Mr. Burns. Homer has done this on several occasions with his daughter Lisa. Lisa is an intelligent little girl and sometimes Homer doesn’t understand her views or statements. At times when Lisa makes a comment, Homer makes her feel inferior by saying something like, “right” in a sarcastic way while patting her on the head. Her reaction is just a dirty or upset look. He also acts this way towards Marge’s sisters whom he dislikes. He will tune them out when they speak and he never agrees with them. This type of attitude would never allow for unity because with regards to the unity model, the man must always cooperate with the women, and give in to the woman’s way of thinking. Rating- 5
After giving my examples I added the results from my ratings and took the average from each show. Friends had 22 points out of 30, giving the show 73%. This means that their anti-unity values are not far from the unity model compared to the other shows. Their anti-unity values can be worked out. Everybody Loves Raymond had a higher percentage of anti-unity values. The show was rated 19 out of 25, which resulted in 76%. They were just a little above the Friends score, meaning that they too are halfway to the unity model. The Simpson’s on the other hand had 23 out of 25 points that I rated as anti-unity. This gave them 92% meaning that they have a high percentage of anti-unity values. The show goes against the most serious points in the unity model. The show or couples in the show are not unified to the extent it is specified in the unity model. They have different ideas and do not interact or behave how a perfect unified couple would behave.
5. Conclusion
This assignment has showed me that we do live in a masculine society and that our cultural attitudes display that it is okay to accept this role of dominance and superiority. This new awareness is useful to me because I will be more alert and aware if someone ever tries to treat me in this manner. In the beginning of the semester I never really cared to notice any social or cultural attitudes about men and women, but now I see the hidden messages that our society gives through the media. We don’t see the big picture because we see these things everyday in real life and we as a society have accepted them as part of our culture and our way of thinking. It’s hard to predict how gender unity will be portrayed in the future because many people find sarcasm funny, especially when they believe it to be true. However, people are fighting for their rights and are voicing their opinions everyday. Maybe women will speak out and put an end to stereotyping and social trends in thinking.
6. Future Generations
I want to wish the best of luck to all the future
generations that will continue on this topic of gender and discourse. I hope that you can gain from this topic and
maybe even better your future relationships.
Be ready to voice your opinion in class discussions, yet keep an open
mind. Remember that this information
comes from old writings. Some advice to
remember for this course is to save everything as you write your papers and
save on to multiple disks. Also, make
sure you learn how to download your papers on the web. It seems overwhelming at first, but don’t
stress out. Just follow directions, do
the assignments and you’ll be fine. Good
luck to all.