Gender Unity:
Annotated Bibliography
by
Suzanne Howard
Instructions for this report may be found at: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy20/g20lecturenotes409b.htm
1. Preface
I am a student in
Psychology 409b, instructed by Dr. Leon James, at the
Dr. James has taught many
prior generations, and I am in Generation 20.
This is the first semester that this particular course is being taught,
since Dr. James is constantly revising and updating the course material. Other generations have written about such
topics as road rage, internet psychology, and self-monitoring techniques. I am glad that the previous generations have
put their work on the internet. It is
helpful to be able to look over their work for tips on how to do our reports. I am glad that I can contribute to this pool
of information with my own work.
The following are student
reports from the previous generation that have something to do with gender
relationships.
1. Bridget Antonio (Generation 16)
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/409bs2002/antonio/report1.htm
Antonio
describes the three fold self as what we are feeling (affective), what we are
thinking (cognitive), and what we are doing (sensorimotor). She says it is important to understand what
we are feeling, so that we can think and act rationally. I agree that it is important to understand
all aspects of the three fold self. For
example, if we do not first understand our motivations and feelings, then we
will not understand why we are thinking a certain way. If we do not understand why we are thinking
the way that we are thinking, then we cannot understand why we are acting the
way that we are acting. It is important
to remember that all of the aspects of the threefold self are interrelated.
2. “Special K” (Generation
16)
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/409bf2002/boyer/bibliography.htm
The
main theme of this report is rage, but it also contains the specific theme of
rage against women. In
3. Czarina Naranjo
(Generation 8)
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/459s98/naranjo/webnet.html
Naranjo discuses some of the difference
between men and women drivers. She says that the people in the group
discussions are sexist against women.
She says that they over generalize the number of bad women drivers just
because they have witnessed a few bad female drivers. The people in these groups have biased opinions,
because studies have shown that men tend to drive more aggressively than
females do. I believe that Naranjo is being sexist towards men in her commentaries. She is ignoring the data. Even though the data shows that there are
more “aggressive” male drivers, it says nothing about “bad” drivers. Maybe the women are not “aggressive” drivers,
but they can still be considered “bad” drivers because of such things as not
putting on their turn signal, driving under the speed limit, or not paying
attention to the road. I think that Naranjo should not just dismiss the opinions of the people
in the group discussions just because they are contrary to evidence because
there is always room for new data.
2. Introduction
The main topic of this
course is gender relationships. We
discuss how men and women talk differently, by reading Deborah Tannen’s book Gender and Discourse and by reading
articles on the web from the class home page.
We also discuss how men and women relate by learning about the concepts
of the three fold self and of the model of gender unity, a concept from the
writings of Emanuel Swedenborg and elaborated upon by Dr. James.
I feel the purpose of this
course is not to be persuaded to believe these concepts, but to keep a positive
bias by knowing that they are possible. It
is important to understand the threefold self: the sensorimotor, cognitive, and
affective elements of each of us. We must
understand what the threefold self is and how it works in order to have a clear
understanding of gender relationships. I
think that Dr. James feels very strongly about passing the knowledge that he
has learned from Swedenborg about gender relationships on to us. He has learned of the benefits of a unity
relationship from first hand experience.
He wishes that we would all have a greater understanding of the concepts
that have made him and his wife so happy.
I think that the
information that has been presented in this course is very interesting. It seems that, if applied, could be very
useful in one’s life. I think the topic
of gender relationships is applicable to everyone. So far, this course has opened my eyes to
concepts that I do not think I would have even given a second thought to. I have learned not to keep the negative bias,
think that this is not possible, but have learned to keep an open mind by using
the positive bias.
3. Annotated Bibliography on Gender Unity
CATEGORY 1
The Doctrine of the Wife by
Leon James
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/doctrine-of-the-wife2.htm
The Doctrine of the Wife,
based on the Writings of Swedenborg, refers to a spiritual guide for husbands
intended to help them overcome their resistance to conjugial love. Conjugial love is a love that internally and
eternally unites the minds and hearts of a husband and wife.
1.
The Doctrine
of the Wife states that a woman is born with an internal longing for marriage
and spiritual union. Men, on the other hand,
are born with an inclination for having multiple sex partners. The Doctrine says that men are born more
resistant to conjugial love. I feel that
even though this statement may be true in general, there are many men and women
who do not fall into these categories.
There are many women who do not want to marry and who do enjoy multiple
sex partners. Also, there are many men
who truly want to be with only one woman.
They care so much for her that they would never want another sex
partner. I believe that there are too
many exceptions for this to be taken literally.
1.
The Doctrine
of the Wife says that a person is only truly and completely human when they are
at the unity stage in a marriage relationship.
An unmarried man should think of himself as a “pre-husband,” and know
that marriage is an essential step to becoming fully human. I do not agree with these beliefs. Any human being is a person. This includes single, divorced, or widowed
people. Even murderers and rapists are
human. I believe that a conjugial love
relationship is a great thing. However,
I do not think someone has to be in one to be considered fully human.
2.
The Doctrine
of the Wife says that when a wife requests something of the husband, he must
oblige even if he does not agree with it.
It states that the affections of a woman are from God and the affections
of a man are from himself. That is why a
husband must accept any affection of the wife.
This does not make sense to me.
It implies that a wife’s affections are infallible. However, we know that women do make incorrect
decisions. A man could be right in many
circumstances in which a woman is wrong.
I do not think that a man should have to agree with everything his wife
says.
Conjugial Love Stories by Emanuel
Swedenborg
http://www.swedenborgdigitallibrary.org/CL/conjunc.htm
In Conjugial Love Stories, Swedenborg tells about conjugial love,
which he says is the greatest love between a man and a woman.
4.
Swedenborg states some of the benefits of
conjugial love. For example, he says
conjugial love joins two souls and two minds into one. At the end of the list of benefits it says
these blessings are not at all possible except in a marriage of one man and one
wife. I must disagree with this
statement. Many people can be in a unity
relationship. Unmarried, dating couples
can be in a unity relationship. I think
that gay men and lesbians can be in a unity relationship. These couples can receive all of the
blessings of conjugial love, the same as a husband and wife can. I do not think a conjugial love relationship
should set limits and exclude unmarried couples or gay and lesbian couples.
5.
Swedenborg
says that a husband’s seminal fluids contain his soul. Therefore, a wife receives these fluids from
her husband and in turn leads a life of progressively greater harmony with her
husband. This statement is hard for me
to understand because there are many couples in which sexual intercourse is not
possible. Many people have had terrible
accidents which have left them paralyzed and obviously unable to have sex. Many older couples cannot have sex. There are others who are born with certain
abnormalities which will never allow them to have sex. Does this mean that they cannot be joined as
strongly as couples who can have sex?
6.
Swedenborg
says that a man and a woman have separate duties, and that a man cannot join
into the duties of his wife nor can a wife enter into the duties of her
husband. He says that duties appropriate
for husbands involve understanding, thought, and wisdom; the duties appropriate
for wives involve will, affection, and love.
For example, he says that women’s duties are to take care of the
upbringing of young children. In today’s
society, this concept of separate duties does not make much sense at all. There are too many single family homes for
duties to be only for men or only for women.
For example, it is impossible to tell a single father that he should not
raise his children because that is a woman’s job. Many families need men or women to take care
of everything. These duties cannot be
split between a man and a woman.
The Revolt of Woman by W.L. Gladish
http://www.newchurchissues.org/wip/MF/mf15wg.htm
The Revolt of Woman gives the
7.
The teachings
of Swedenborg say that each soul comes into contact with God for certain
things. The Lord gives the man
understanding, for which he must give to the woman. The Lord gives the woman love, for which she
gives to the man. Therefore, the man and
the woman are dependent on each other.
The statement is fairly hard to grasp.
It seems quite strange to think that a man cannot love unless he gets
that power from a woman. Conversely, a
woman does not have understanding until she receives it from a man. This statement does not seem logical to me,
however, this is what Swedenborg wrote and this is what the
8.
The
9.
Despite the
Teacher’s Classroom Strategies Should Recognize
that Men and Women Use Language Differently by Deborah Tannen
http://www.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/chronicle061991.htm
Tannen shows that men and
women talk differently and therefore learn differently in the classroom. Teachers should understand these differences
and take them into consideration when teaching the different genders.
10. Tannen is troubled by the fact that women who go to
single-sex schools do better in latter life than those who do not. Also, in the classroom, the males talk more
than the females do. This does not mean
that all men talk more than all women do, however the greater percentage of
discussion is done by men. This fact is
not so surprising to me. I went to a
co-ed school from kindergarten through eighth grade. Then, I attended and all female high
school. It did seem like many of the
speakers in eighth grade were male. The
females tended to be more quiet and reserved.
In high school on the other hand, women who were more reserved in grade
school, tended to speak up more. I
noticed that I was even more inclined to participate in these single-sex
discussions than I was in the co-ed discussions in grade school.
11. Tannen described the differences in men and women’s
casual conversations. In
12. Tannen says that one reason why men speak more in
classrooms is that they feel more comfortable in a public setting. Women, on the other hand, feel more
comfortable speaking in private with a small group of people that they know well. This statement seems as though it could be
true. It would be accurate to say that
men do take up most of the discussion time in a classroom. However, there are exceptions. Cultural differences play a part in classroom
discussions. For example, many men and
women from Asian cultures are less likely to engage in conversations with other
students. I think this has something to
do with culture as well as insecurity about language proficiency. Also, many women, including myself, enjoy
making contributions to a classroom discussion.
The Enjoyment of Sexist Humor, Rape Attitudes, and
Relationship Aggression in College Students by Ryan and Kanjorski
www.findarticles.com/cf_dls/m2294/n9-10_v38/20914088/p1/article.jhtml
This article explores the
relationship between the enjoyment of sexist humor and rape-supportive
attitudes, sexually coercive behavior, and courtship violence in college men
and women.
13. Ryan and Kanjorski found that rape-supportive and
sexist attitudes may be found in young men’s enjoyment of sexist humor. The article said that in cultures where rape
is a joke are cultures that foster rape.
This is quite surprising. Many
young people, including myself, would consider sexist jokes harmless. Sexist jokes are a commonplace occurrence
among young people. I would never have
thought there to be a relationship between sexist jokes and sexual
aggression. However, this research is correlational; therefore we cannot be sure of the cause.
14. The article says that sexual jokes may be used to
test the waters with potential sexual partners, express repressed desires, or
they may be used in a hostile manner.
Some people may tell sexual jokes in order to make another person feel
inferior. When the audience laughs, this
affirms the point of view expressed by the joke. I am not sure that I agree with this
statement. I think many people just
laugh at these jokes because they find them funny, not because they are trying
to affirm a sexist attitude. In this
culture, I think that young people are conditioned to find these types of jokes
comical. Most people do not take offensive
to them because it is not socially acceptable.
However, now that we know that this kind of humor can have potentially
dangerous effects we must not be so quick to dismiss sexist jokes as innocent
fun.
15. Ryan and Kanjorski say that sexual jokes, teasing,
and remarks are the most common form of sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is never innocent fun. We definitely cannot take sexual jokes
lightly if they are used as sexual harassment.
Depending on the context in which they are told, I can see how these
jokes can become sexual harassment. Most
times sexual jokes are told innocently between friends. However, they can become harassment if they
are directed at a person or if they are repeated frequently. We must understand that these seemingly
innocent jokes are not amusing when they are used as a form of sexual
harassment.
CATEGORY 2
Gender Differences in Driving: Does Sex Matter by
Wendy Tagomori
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/459f98/tagomori/report2.html
This report was by a
student of Dr. James. She created a
questionnaire about the gender differences in driving philosophies.
16. Tagomori found that the total score for the males
on aggressiveness was significantly higher than the females. The range for women was very wide (ranging
from 0-8), whereas the range for men was more narrow (ranging from 4-8). The author surmised that men tend to drive
moderately aggressively, while women drive both aggressively and passively
depending on their personalities and their moods. I think that these hypotheses make sense
based on her data. These statements also
agree with my own personal observations.
Most of the men I have witnessed drive relatively aggressively. The individual women that I have witnessed
drive generally aggressively or passively.
However, depending on their moods, I think both men and women can drive
either aggressively or passively.
17. In this survey, females stated that they do not
compete with or challenge other drivers on the road. Males were split on this question. I am a little surprised with these
results. I do know more men who compete
with other drivers, but I also know women who engage in this activity. Also the author said that all of the females
and all but one male said they comply with traffic rules. I find this extremely difficult to
believe. If obeying traffic rules means
following the speed limit and coming to a complete stop at stop signs, then I
do not believe the subjects were telling the truth while completing this
survey. I think almost everyone speeds
from time to time, and some people speed almost all of the time. These results must be biased in some way.
18. This article said that all of the men claimed that
they can tolerate bad drivers and that they do not rush on the road. The author hypothesized that men are more
tolerant and patient in general, but when they are tested, they act more
aggressively than women do. These
results and this hypothesis do not make sense to me. Other data has shown that men are more
aggressive drivers than women. If men
are so tolerant and patient, then why are they so aggressive? People are not aggressive when they are
tolerant. I do not think the subjects
understood the question on the survey.
Gender Differences in Driving Norms by Cara
Lucey
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/459ss97/clucey/report2.html
This report was by another
student of Dr. James who also created a questionnaire about gender differences
in driving norms.
19. Lucey says that aggressive driving has gone up 7
percent since 1990. Aggressive driving
is not only violence which causes physical damage but also abuse which causes
psychological damage. Lucey says that
aggressive driving is becoming more prevalent because it is becoming more of a
social norm. By saying that aggressive
driving is okay we are encouraging this aggressive behavior. I agree with these statements. If we
encourage aggressive drivers, or even if we do not reprimand their driving, we
are encouraging the progression of these violent behaviors.
20. Lucey also reported a comment that was discussed in
her class: “Women choose to have the men drive.” She said this is an example of women
accepting a submissive relationship role.
I do not think that this statement is true. There are many women who drive while men are
the passengers. Lucey also says that
when women acquired their role as drivers men felt a loss of control and damage
to their pride. I know many men who are completely comfortable with having
women drive. Many women do not feel that
they are trying to dominate the men in their lives when they choose to be the
drivers. The roles of gender
relationships are changing in our society and I feel that men and women in
general are comfortable with this.
21. Lucey had asked the participants in her study to
elaborate on their answers to her questionnaire. The women had commented more about their
moods than the men had. The female drivers
were more aware of their moods and other external sources that had an effect
their driving behaviors. None of the men
commented on moods or external sources.
I found this information to be very interesting. Perhaps the reason why men are more
aggressive drivers is because they are not as in tuned to their moods and
motives as women drivers are.
CATEGORY 3
The Behavioral Technology of Discourse Analysis by Leon
James
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/499s2000/banaag/file15.html
Dr. James discuses the
levels of organization of discourse: sensorimotor, cognitive, and affective.
22. Dr. James states that overt discourse depends on
our inner mental states. In other words,
what we say depends on what we are thinking and feeling. We can understand what people are thinking
based on what they are saying. This idea
makes complete sense to me. Our
sensorimotor (actions), cognitive (thoughts), and affective (feelings) behaviors
are all interrelated. Therefore anything
that someone says is directly because they are thinking or feeling it. Also, we can get some insight into what
someone is thinking or feeling by observing what they say.
23. Our thinking is influenced by social
reinforcers. In other words, what we
think at any one time is influenced by the environment around us. For example, we think about different things
when we are driving, in a classroom, or when we write a letter. Our environment shapes the way we think and
what we think about. Depending on where
we are, our attention is needed for specific things. For example, when we are lost and trying to
figure out where we are, we cannot daydream or let our minds wander. However, if we are watching television at home
it is acceptable to daydream. The
environment is an important factor in shaping the way we think and therefore
what we say.
24. Thinking is influenced by social reinforcers in our
environment. Many people believe in the
idea of “thought-control,” in which the individual is not free to select social
reinforcers. However, this is not the
case. People are free to choose their
own values and priorities. Hence, there
is no thought-control. I found this idea
very interesting. I never did believe in
thought-control, and this article shows how it is an impossible
phenomenon. It makes sense that only the
owner of the mind could control his or her thoughts. If we are the only ones who control our
thoughts, than we are the only ones who control our talk.
The Empirical Investigation of Conversation: The
Closing Problem by Leon James
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/499cl97/march/f5.html
This article considers how
conversations come to an end and what the participants do to bring an on-going
conversation to a close.
25. Dr. James says the beginning of the closing section
is marked by a foreclosing proposal. The
foreclosing proposal can be initiated with the use of transactional idioms,
such as “well…” or “O.K.”. The first
participant brings up this foreclosing proposal. The second individual can either go along
with the proposal to end the conversation, or he or she may decline the
foreclosing proposal and continue talking about the same topic or introduce
another topic. I find it quite
interesting that discourse can and is analyzed so explicitly. I do recognize the existence of foreclosing
proposals and transactional idioms in my own daily conversations. They seem to play an important role in bringing
about the end of a conversation.
26. Telephone conversations have a different structure
of closing conversations than do face-to-face conversations. In a face-to-face conversation either party
may attempt a foreclosing proposal.
However, in telephone conversations if caller does not state his reason
for calling, called may not attempt a foreclosing proposal at the risk of
seeming rude. This also makes sense to
me. It would be rude if I called someone
and was still talking while they attempted to end the conversation. Also, there are certain unusual circumstances
that may allow a phone conversation to end which do not work in a face-to-face
conversation. For instance, you can end
a phone conversation by saying, “I am getting another phone call. I’ll have to call you back.”
27. In everyday face-to-face conversations participants
may initiate a foreclosure proposal by raising a topic that can be seen as a
last topic. For example someone may ask,
“So…are you going to go to the party?”
Reintroducing an initial topic can be seen as an ending topic
statement. I have found this strategy
useful in my own conversations. It is
appropriate to reintroduce a topic without being rude. The other party usually understands that you
are reintroducing the topic because you are trying to bring the conversation to
a close.
CATEGORY 4
Island Memories by Gregg Suzuki
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/409as97/greggs/499/greggshome.html
This is a
semi-autobiographical account of
28. Suzuki says that the topics first discussed at the
dinner table are trivial and brought up just for the sake of starting a conversation. As time goes on, topics become more intense
and involved. These statements make
sense to me. From my own observations,
that seems to be the way conversations are formatted. It would seem weird to start a conversation
with a “heavy” topic. It seems more
natural to start with a generic comment such as “How are you doing?” I agree with Suzuki in that many topics are
just starters for other topics more worthy of discussing.
29. Suzuki says that the rules for topic talk vary
greatly for different people. The rules
for his family include not discussing anything vulgar or revolting at the
dinner table. They usually start the
conversation by talking about the happenings of their day. He also says that it is not acceptable to
interrupt a conversation as an attempt to change a topic. I agree with Suzuki when he says that the
rules for topic are different for different people. For example, you would not walk up to your
professor and start talking about your relationship problems. However, this would be an acceptable topic to
discuss with a best friend. Also, a
conversation with a professor would have a much more formal style than that of
a conversation with a best friend.
30. Suzuki says that the setting in which a
conversation occurs is directly related to the type of conversation that can
take place. For example, dinner time is
the only time when the whole family is gathered together. The family can discuss private family matters
during this time. Suzuki also says that
conversations depend on the people around you.
This makes sense to me. I would
not be comfortable talking about some topics with my best friend with my
professor nearby. If you want to have a
private conversation with someone, you will make sure that no one is around to
hear it. This is why the setting affects
the kind of conversations that may take place.
4. Conclusion
By learning this material
I have a greater understanding of the differences between men and women and of
gender relationships in general. I
believe that if someone truly understands this material and puts effort into
incorporating the concept of a “unity” relationship into one’s life, this can
help the person in achieving a great relationship with their significant
other. I believe that this material
could have a great impact on gender relationships within our society if it is
proven and accepted as science. However,
I feel that the definition of romantic relationships, which is confined to
those between a man and a woman, are not applicable to everyone in our society. Many people may feel excluded and may not
accept this belief because of its exclusiveness.
I feel that if this idea
spreads, gender role stereotypes may persist and may even worsen. People may get the wrong idea about gender
roles if they do not fully understand this information. I am afraid that this will happen because
this information is complicated and the public will not likely have an expert,
like Dr. James, to personally explain this information to them. However, if this concept is fully understood
by the masses, then I do believe that women will benefit greatly. Women will no longer be treated as inferior
to men because people will understand the crucial role that women play in the
lives of their husbands. As for myself,
I will continue to think and learn about these concepts. I will evaluate my gender relationships in
respect to this newly acquired information.
5. Future Generations
My advice to future
generations is to keep a positive bias!
Remember that Dr. James is not trying to persuade you into believing any
of this. He just wants you to know that
these concepts are possible. Also, do
not get discouraged by the large amount of reading and writing required by this
class. Take your time and space the work
out. Do small amounts every day. That way, the topics of the course will stay
fresh in your mind.