My Proposal for TV Ratings on Anti-Unity Values
(AUV)
By: Suzanne Howard
Instructions for this report may be found at: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy20/g20lecturenotes409b.htm
1. Preface
My
previous report, Report 2,
is entitled Mapping the Threefold Self in Gender Relationships. This was a very personal report in which
I have described a past gender relationship.
I have cited specific examples from a journal that I had kept at the
time. For each example, I have discussed
the sensorimotor, cognitive, and affective elements of each event. Then I discuss the general areas of our
relationship in regards to the aspects of the three-fold self (mentioned
above). My observations have helped me
to better understand that relationship and other gender relationships in
general. After doing my observations I
have concluded that out of the three types of gender relationships – dominance,
equity, and unity – my relationship most closely resembled the equity
model. I think that it was important for
me to examine this relationship in order to have a greater understanding on
what I may need to change in my future gender relationships.
The
main purpose of this report, Report 3, is to become more aware about what is
displayed in the media in an indirect way.
First of all, I discuss the gender unity model as it pertains to myself and to students in the G20 Psy 459 class. In the next section, I discuss my opinions
about some of our class oral presentations.
For each presentation, I have noted at least two things that I agree on
and think are important and at least two things that I disagree on or do not
fully understand. In the next sections,
I discuss AUV ratings (Anti-Unity Values).
I have watched the third season of Sex
and the City and have noted specific examples of AUVs. My conclusions and advice to the future
generations are at the end of this report.
2. Introduction
According to the model of gender relationships,
there are three types of relationships: Dominance, Equity, and Unity. In the dominance model a dominant role is
assigned to the man and a submissive role to the woman in all areas as defined
by society. In the equity model, the man
and the woman share equal power and share the responsibilities of decision
making. In the unity model the woman has
a dominant role. This, however, is
different from the dominant role of the man in the dominance model. The wife has dominance in the unity model
because the man voluntarily submits to her.
He has control over his own actions.
At any time he can decide that he no longer wishes to submit to her.
There are different levels of the
threefold self involved in each of these models of gender unity. In the dominance model, the sensorimotor self
is involved in the relationship. At this
level, the couple is inclined to do things together, such as going out to eat
and to the movies. This is the most
external form of unity. In the equity
model, the cognitive self is involved in the relationship. In this stage of the relationship, the couple
is united in the way they think. They
have the same opinions about different issues, but they do not agree on
everything. Because the couple’s
cognitions are united, they are in an internal state. In the unity model, the affective self is
involved in the relationship. The couple
has the same feelings and motivations about everything. In this stage in the relationship, the couple
does not disagree on anything. This is
the inmost stage in which the couple is completely united.
|
LEVEL OF UNITY |
NAME OF MODEL |
THREEFOLD SELF
INVOLVED |
|
3 |
UNITY |
AFFECTIVE |
|
2 |
EQUITY |
COGNITIVE |
|
1 |
DOMINANCE |
SENSORIMOTOR |
“Chris M”
http://www.soc.hawaii/leonj/409bs2004/chrism/report%201.htm
After completing Report 1, “Chris M” felt that there were
many more differences between men and women.
She understands that in order to achieve a unity relationship, one must
have these differences. She thinks that
the unity model may have an affect on the way society views gender roles and
stereotypes.
“Jennifer Combs”
http://www.soc.hawaii/leonj/409bs2004/combs/report%201.htm
Combs felt that she could better understand her own
gender relationship with her husband after completing her report. Although she was uncertain about her beliefs
about the afterlife and about Swedenborg in general, she felt that the
spreading of the concept of gender unity would benefit both men and women in
our society.
“Joshua Kent”
http://www.soc.hawaii/leonj/409bs/kent/report%201.htm
3. Class Oral Presentations and Lecture
Discussions
Reference #2
The Surrendered Wife vs. the Surrendered Husband by: Leon James
The statement, “Not a single think in a woman can be like
a thing in a man, and vice versa,” comes from the Doctrine of the Wife by Leon
James. We have discussed this issue
before in class, but I still do not understand it. I think that there are many differences
between men and women, from the way we talk to the way we think. However, I do not think that everything about
men and women are different. I can think
of many similarities. For example, I
know many men who would do anything for the women they love and also many women
who would do anything for the men they love.
There are other similarities. I
know men and women who like the same books, sports, and movies. Therefore, I do no think that absolutely
everything is different for men and women.
“Unity is the conjoint operation of two things together
so that the result is a new conjoint object that is superior to the composing
parts. When they unite, their unity will
be more perfect.” This concept makes
sense to me. According to the Doctrine
of the Wife, men and women are incomplete as individuals. They need a spouse to be complete. This is because of the concept that men and
women are inherently different. When
these two different and opposite individuals come together in a unity
relationship, they complete each other.
This is not a new concept for me. I have heard many people describe
their partners as their other halves.
They feel complete when they are with their spouses.
Lau writes that: “Women are intelligent and wise from
within; from heaven, from the Lord. They
will not do anything that is contrary to conjugial love.” I strongly disagree with this statement. This is the concept that gives me the most
trouble when learning about the Doctrine of the Wife. The Doctrine says that it is only the man who
needs to work on himself and prepare himself for a conjugial love
relationship. It says that the woman
does not have to try because she naturally is ready and capable of this type of
relationship. I do not believe
this. I think that there are many things
that women have to work on in our relationships. Everything does not just come naturally for
us. In regards to the statement that we
will not do anything that is contrary to conjugial, this is completely
wrong. Many women cheat on their
husbands, lie to them, and treat them with indecency. This is obviously against conjugial love and
contrary to the above statement.
The statement, “Only through religion can the
“The Lord has now revealed the scientific fact that a man
by himself is an incomplete creation and is still to develop maturity. The mature man is created into perfection
when he is no longer an individual man, but a structural or organic part of his
wife, so that the two together are one angel.”
This statement is talking about the fact that a woman and a man are not
complete human beings as individuals.
The ideal and perfect human being is the conjunction between man and
women conjoined by perfect love. When
the couple leaves this earth, they will live together in heaven. They are seen as one complete individual and
therefore called one angel. I think it
is important to strive for conjugial love in our relationships in the physical
world in order that we can be with our spouses in the spiritual world for
eternity.
Reference #4
Rage-Depression Survey Results--Gender by Leon James and Diane Nahl
This reference reviews results
regarding the issues of rage and depression and the gender differences between
these topics. The first question asked,
“How much do you feel other people’s anger daily on a scale of 1-10?” The mean for the males was 4.79, and for
females it was 4.91. Kitamura says that
these results are significant, but small.
This means that even though they are meaningful, there is a lot of
overlap between the answers of the men and women. I am also confused about what exactly this
question means. I think that the
participants may also have been confused about what exactly it means. The results show that women tend to feel
other’s anger more. Even though this may
be true, it is also true that both genders “feel other people’s anger.” I think that it would be hard not to realize
that someone is angry. In conclusion,
even though there is a difference between the genders on this issue, the
difference is small. There is much
overlap on this issue.
Kitamura brings up an interesting point
about the question of “feeling people’s rage.”
She said that these results, even though “valid in an individualism
culture…might be different in a collectivism culture because of inhibition of
emotion.” It does not mention in her presentation where this study was
done. I think that it would be interesting
to find out and then do a cross-cultural comparative study between an
individualistic culture and a collectivist culture. I agree with Kitamura that the results may
differ because of inhibition of emotion.
I think it would be very difficult to “feel someone’s rage” if they are
not showing it and inhibiting their emotions.
I have many issues regarding the
survey the survey question: “How often do you feel rage?” The results say that men feel rage 37% of the
time and women feel rage 29% of the time.
Is this an average? If it is an
average, what is it an average for: this week? Last month? Lifetime
average? I think that it is
important to specify during what time period this survey was conducted. The only thing that seems like it would make sense
to me would be to use the results from the most recent past. If you think about your emotions from a time
period too long ago, you could forget what you were feeling. Also, this presentation does not specify how
the data was collected. Did the participants
have to write down every time they felt rage?
Because rage is such a strong negative emotion, I find it hard to
believe that anyone would feel rage, on average, on an hourly basis. Yet small proportions of the sample did. Also, a much larger percentage of the sample
reported that they felt rage on a daily basis.
This result also seems strange to me.
I think that it is important to know how the data was collected before
the result can be interpreted accurately.
Regarding the question, “How often
do you feel compassion for someone?” females felt compassion 77% of the time,
whereas men felt compassion 61% of the time.
I have the same questions about the data collection as the above
paragraph. However, I wanted to discuss
the conclusions that Kitamura has come up with from the results. The results have shown that “women tend to
feel compassion for other people.” She
says that according to the unity model of gender relationships, “Women try to
understand and care about their partner’s feelings.” I think this statement confirms what I have
experienced in my daily life. In
general, I have witnessed that women are both more conscious of other’s
feelings and also more compassionate.
They want to help other’s who are in need. Kitamura adds that, “Women are considered to
feel more compassionate in collectivism cultures.” I think that it is interesting that women may
be more compassionate across cultures.
Reference #10
Feminine Wisdom by Erik Sandstrvm
Sr. and Comment by Linda Simonetti Odhner
Hostetler’s
presentation says that: “Masculine wisdom and feminine wisdom are equal, and
that they are at the same time by creation forever different.” I think this statement means that masculine
and feminine wisdom are equal in the fact that one is not more powerful or
better than the other. Also, even though
they are equal in this respect, they are different in other ways. For example: “A woman is will-oriented; a man
is intellect-oriented.” Obviously, this
shows that they are different.
“Inherent wisdom does not exist, but
is given to each by god through his word and teachings of the truth.” This statement means that we do not have
wisdom from ourselves, but rather we have wisdom from God. This statement says that we receive this
wisdom from God through “his word and teachings of the truth.” I am not exactly sure what this means. Does this mean that we can only receive
wisdom from God if we read the Bible and/or the Writings of Swedenborg? I thought that we received this gift from God
when we are born. I think it is
important to understand when, from whom, and how we receive wisdom. I think that this concept should be described
more thoroughly.
The following concept comes directly
from the Writings. “A male is born
intellect-orientated, with an affection for knowing,
understanding, and becoming wise. A
female is born will-orientated, with love for joining herself to that affection
in the male.” Men and women receive
different gifts from God, and that is why we are inherently different. Because we are inherently different,
“masculinity cannot be converted into femininity, and vice versa.” These gifts are different but are also
reciprocal; they complement each other. Because
men and women have these different but reciprocal gifts from God, they are able
to form a conjugial love union.
In this presentation, Hostetler notes that Sandstrvm
says that “Prejudices arise from the complexities of modern living.” He says that “equity leads to accidental
childbirths, unloved and insecure children, and single parent families.” I do not understand this quote. Is he talking about equity as in gender
relationships? If he is, then I do not
think that this statement is true. It
does not make sense that equity in gender relationships would lead to the above
events any more than the dominant or unity model of gender relationships. Also, what is wrong with single parent
families? I know from personal
experience that many are more efficient and loving than families in which both
parents live together. I do not
understand what Sandstrvm is saying.
4. My Proposal for AUV Ratings on
TV (Anti-Unity Values)
4A. What
are AUV Ratings?
I think that it is important to learn about what unity is
before you can learn about anti-unity values.
Now that you have a pretty good idea about what a unity relationship is
like (see Introduction), I will tell you about what a unity relationship is not
like. Anti-unity values are values that
do not promote unity in a gender relationship.
Anti-unity values may belong to either the dominance or equity model of
relationships. I also think that some
AUV’s do not belong to either the dominance or equity models. I believe that some anti-unity values occur
even out of relationships, in single life.
Some of these AUV’s will prevent someone from ever entering into a unity
relationship if they continue to value some of these traits. I will discuss this further in other sections
of this report.
The following list are examples of AUV ratings, compiled
by Dr. James after watching some episodes of the Soap called One Life to Live on the Soap Net during
the month of December 2003.
1.
Living together unmarried
2.
Having children out of wedlock
3.
Making each other jealous on purpose
4.
Adultery for various reasons
5.
Promiscuity and bi-sexuality
6.
Sexy dressing for men other than one's partner
7.
Having a same sex best friend who is placed ahead of the partner or in
competition for certain things
8.
Having a heterosexual best friend who is placed ahead of the partner or
in competition for certain things
9.
Same sex friends going out as a group for fun and entertainment without
their partners
10.
Flirting with other gender as retaliation against one's partner (or
other reason)
11.
Separate interests and activities accepted for partners
12.
Manipulating partner through deception
13.
Accepting the idea that it's OK to "agree to disagree" about
some things
14.
Promoting the idea that one should not try to change one's partner but
should accept them with their faults, etc.
15.
Girls only or boys only entertainment
16.
Acceptance of the idea that men are more important
17.
Promoting the idea that men are more rational than women
18.
Promoting the idea that women are generally frivolous as part of their
gender
19.
Making it look normal for a man to exploit women
20.
Making it look normal for a man to abuse women
21.
Making it look normal for a man to have prerogatives or perks that women
should accept and honor (e.g., serving men, doing what they want no matter
what, being dominant, etc.)
22.
Making it look like what women say and think as less important
23.
Accepting the idea that a man does not need to "grovel" when
he apologizes for something bad he did to her (the minimum is enough and she
should not ask for more even if her feelings are still hurt or else she is
being "unreasonable" etc.)
4B. What Procedures I Followed
First, I watched the third season of Sex and the City. Sex and the City was a television show
on HBO that aired for six seasons. The
series finale just recently aired. The
stars of the show, Sarah Jessica Parker (Carrie), Cynthia Nixon (Miranda),
Kristin Davis (
During each episode I have taken notes about what I feel
were anti-unity values. Some were not as
clear cut, while others were quite obviously AUVs. Some AUVs occurred while the character was in
a relationship, and others occurred when the character was single. I have listed the AUV and the examples that I
have witnessed throughout the season.
4C. The Data I Gathered
1. Going to a strip club
All of the women decide that they are going to attend a
male strip club because Carrie is going to be a judge there. Three of the women are single, but Miranda is
dating someone. I think this is an AUV
for both the single and the attached women.
First of all, I think that the men are disrespecting themselves by
stripping and the women are also disrespecting the men by attending. Objectifying men in this way may make the
women have less respect for them. The
women may assume the attitude that it is okay to turn men into objects of
sexual gratification. I think that it is
especially harmful for an attached woman to go to a strip club because it will hurt
the man she is dating. Either she will
lie to him and not tell him that she is going to a strip club and hurt their
relationship by lying, or she will tell him the truth and he will be hurt even
though he may say that it does not hurt him.
He might feel jealous and may think, “Why does she want to look at other
men taking their clothes off? Am I not
good enough for her?” It is definitely
an AUV to know that going to a strip club will hurt your boyfriend, but you go
anyway.
2. Having sex with someone that you are not
married to
This was a reoccurring theme throughout the show. During the third season alone, all of the
four women have had sex with at least one man to whom they were not married
to. Samantha had sex with so many
different men that I lost count. I will
give an example of one of her one-night-stands.
She met a firefighter stripper at the strip club that they
attended. She had always had a fantasy
of having sex with a fireman. The same
night that they met each other, they had sex together. She saw him again once or twice after that,
but they never even had a relationship.
Samantha did not want to have a relationship – she just wanted to have
sex. Again the mentality that men are
only sex objects is definitely an anti-unity value. Even though Samantha was not married, if she continues
to use men only for sex, she will never have a fulfilling relationship.
3. Thinking you need a
guy to save you
4. Dating more than one person at a time
Miranda is dating a man that she likes a lot. However, she does not want to be in an
exclusive relationship with him, even though he is the only person that she is
dating. Her friends think that this is
because she is afraid to get hurt. I do
not think that it is a bad thing to be afraid of getting hurt when getting into
a relationship; this is a natural feeling.
However, I do not think that it is okay to date more than one person at
a time just because you are afraid of getting hurt. I think that there is no way to have a
healthy relationship, let alone a unity relationship, when you are dating more
than one person at a time. You cannot
put all of your effort into a relationship if you have to divide it among
numerous relationships.
5. Paying for sex
A woman told Samantha that she was getting oral sex from
her massage therapist. Samantha decided
that she wanted to do this also. She was
upset that she was not propositioned for sex.
She accidentally ended up getting the massage therapist fired. Then, she went to a party and there were
other women there who were upset with her because they were also paying for sex
from the same massage therapist. Even
though Samantha was single, it is still wrong to pay for sex. If you pay for sex, it gives the impression
that sex is the only thing you need from a man.
This is a dangerous attitude to have, because if you think this way, you
will also think that a relationship is not important.
6. Bisexuality and homosexuality
Carrie founds out that the guy that she is dating is
bisexual. She goes to a party with him
where many of the people there are bisexual and homosexual. They play spin the bottle, and Carrie has to
kiss a girl. Before spin the bottle, she
was trying to be very accepting of her boyfriend’s sexual orientation. After her experience of kissing a girl,
Carrie leaves the party without saying goodbye.
She tells her friends that she is too old to be so open-minded about
sexuality. Bisexuality and homosexuality
are obvious AUVs because a unity relationship must occur between a man and a
woman. Only a man and a woman have the
different but reciprocal parts needed to form a unity relationship. A homosexual couple at the party had a child
together. This is an AUV because
children are supposed to come from a man and a woman. Another AUV that comes from this scene is
when Carrie kisses another person in front of the guy that she is dating. This is rude and disrespectful.
7. Leaving their boyfriends without saying
goodbye
Throughout the season, there were many occasions in which
the women just left the men that they were dating without even saying
goodbye. For example, after having sex
with him, Samantha leaves the fireman and does not talk to him again. Also, Carrie leaves the party after kissing
the girl and never calls her date again.
I think that it is very hurtful to leave someone without telling them
why or even saying goodbye. Even if the
women do not want to pursue relationships with these men, they should at least
let the men know why. I think that they
are being very inconsiderate when they do not even care if they hurt the
man. This AUV will lead you away from a
unity relationship because you must always take into consideration the feelings
of your partner.
8. Wearing revealing clothing in public
I think that even though fashion has changed throughout
the years and it is now much more acceptable to wear revealing clothing, it
would still be considered an AUV. Even
if one does not intend to attract attention from the opposite sex, it is bound
to happen if one wears revealing clothing.
Women know that men will look at them if they wear a low cut shirt or a
short skirt. In Sex and the City, Carrie does this even though she has a boyfriend. She wears a mesh shirt so that you can
clearly see through it to her bra. I do not think this is appropriate for any
woman – whether she is single or not – but I think that it is especially
inappropriate for someone who is in a relationship. Her boyfriend might notice other men looking
at his girlfriend and become jealous. It
is an AUV to wear revealing clothing knowing that it will make your boyfriend/husband
jealous.
9. Living with someone whom you are not married
to
In this season, both Carrie and Miranda are living with
their boyfriends whom they are not married to.
This is an AUV because sex before marriage is against the unity model of
relationships. I think that if you are
not ready to commit to marriage then you are not ready to commit to giving
yourself to your partner through sexual intercourse. These couples did not want to get married,
but felt that they were ready to have sex with each other.
10. Putting work before your relationship
Miranda is a lawyer and is very busy with her work. It seems like she never has time for her
boyfriend. Even if he asks her to spend
time with him, she replies that she cannot because she needs to work. According to the unity model of gender
relationships, your significant other must come before everything else in your
life. This includes work, friends, and
even your children. In order to sustain
a unity relationship, your spouse must come first. This is why Miranda choosing work over her
boyfriend is an AUV.
11. Going out with friends without your
significant other
Carries says that the best thing about having a good
relationship is that you can leave it for a night. She then leaves her boyfriend and hangs out
with her girl friends for the night.
According the unity model, it is not okay to go out with your friends
without your boyfriend/husband. I do not
understand why this is an AUV, but it is according to the unity model.
12. Prenuptial agreements
13. Having an affair with a married man
Carrie is in a serious relationship with a very good
man. Her ex-boyfriend, who is now
married, tells her that he misses her and wants her back. They end up having an affair together. They met many times to have sex with each
other. Carrie is confused about
everything and does not know what to do.
Eventually the man’s wife finds out about the affair. Affairs are wrong for so many reasons. You obviously cannot have a unity
relationship with someone who is cheating on you. If they tell you that they are cheating on
you, you will feel hurt and betrayed. It
will also be extremely difficult for you to trust your partner ever again. This is so detrimental because trust is such
an important part of a relationship. On
the other hand, if you do not tell your partner that you have cheated on them, you
will probably feel so guilt-ridden that it will be very difficult to continue
the relationship. Affairs can kill a
relationship that may have had potential to work at the unity level.
4D. The AUV Scale
This scale describes the intensity of each of the above
AUVs. I have rated each of the AUVs on a
5-point scale. An AUV with a rating of 5
is strongly anti-unity. An AUV with a
rating of 1 is not as strongly anti-unity.
Here is a list of the ratings of each of the above AUVs that I have
witnessed from Sex and the City.
1 –
Not harmful to a unity relationship
2 –
Somewhat harmful to a unity relationship
3 –
Harmful to a unity relationship
4 –
Very harmful to a unity relationship
5 –
Will destroy a current relationship or prevent one from happening
1. Going to a strip club (2)
2. Having sex with someone that you are not
married to (3)
3. Thinking you need a
guy to save you (2)
4. Dating more than one person at a time (4)
5. Paying for sex (5)
6. Bisexuality and homosexuality (5)
7. Leaving their boyfriends without saying
goodbye (2)
8. Wearing revealing clothing in public (2)
9. Living with someone whom you are not married
to (3)
10. Putting work before your relationship (3)
11. Going out with friends without your
significant other (1)
12. Prenuptial agreements (4)
13. Having an affair with a married man (5)
4E. Testing Out the AUV Scale
First I watched the first few shows of the season. I took notes about various examples of
AUVs. Then I rated the first few AUVs on
a scale of 1-5, with 1 being the least harmful to a unity relationship and 5
being the most harmful to a unity relationship.
Then I continued to watch the rest of the shows of the third
season. My initial AUV ratings changed
because of my new data (more episodes).
After watching all of the episodes I created a scale with the definitions
of AUVS from each value (1-5) as shown above.
Now I could give objective scores to each of the AUVs. I think that this scale and the examples from
Sex and the City can be helpful to identify AUVs in other television shows or
movies. To make this scale more accurate
and easier to use, I would watch other types of shows and use the same rating
scale. I would also include more
examples of AUVs from different TV shows or movies.
5. Conclusion
This assignment has helped me to become more aware of what
our society finds socially acceptable.
Some of the above AUVs are not accepted by mainstream society, but are
at least accepted by many subculture groups.
For example, although society as a whole has not embraced homosexuality
or bisexuality, there are many people who are very tolerant of these sexual
practices. Another example would be that
although many people in society feel that it is unacceptable to wear revealing
clothing in public, there are many people, and especially young people, who
find no problems with this behavior.
I think that the media is used to bring new ideas into
our mentality. Some of these ideas can
be very useful, such as self-help shows like Dr. Phil or Oprah. Other shows can be corruptive, such as Will and Grace, The Sopranos, and Sex and the
City. These shows make people feel
that AUVs, such as sex outside of marriage, are commonplace and acceptable. Now that I have done this report, I feel that
I have a greater awareness of all of the negative aspects of the media. The media can have a negative influence on
someone if they are not aware of what they are watching. I feel that now that I am more aware of the
AUVs portrayed in the media, I can protect myself from their negative influences.
The media has changed greatly over the past few
years. Now it is commonplace to her
profanity and vulgar language on a regular basis on television. Even on primetime or “family hour” sexual
acts are common. I used to not think too
much about the media and its influence on society. After
doing this report, I now realize how prevalent negative values are on
television. Although I have not
researched the effects of the AUVs on television, now I am much more aware of
the potential of its harmful effects. I
think that all television viewers, and especially the parents of young
children, should be aware of the values that are portrayed as commonplace and
acceptable. We must make sure that even
if these values are shown to be acceptable in the media, that they are not to be embraced by our
society in “real life”.
I feel that the model of an ideal relationship is
especially at risk for being distorted by the media. Television and movie relationships continue
to decline more and more throughout the years.
Already it is acceptable for homosexual couples to engage in sexual
acts. It is also okay to have sexual
relations with many partners outside of a marriage relationship. I believe that the unity model of gender
relationships will continue to be further and further from the relationships
that are portrayed in the media. Even
now, I cannot think of any relationships on TV that resemble the unity
model. If we, as a society, continue to
tune into the media, we need to remember to hold on to our own values and not
to become disenfranchised by what we see on TV.
6. Future Generations
There
is a lot of reading and writing throughout this course. Read the course materials a little at a time,
and if you do not understand the information make sure to discuss it with Dr.
James during or after class. He is very
helpful in answering any questions that you may have. Be prepared to learn
material that may be completely new and even shocking to you. My main advice to you, as it has been since
my first report, KEEP A POSITIVE BIAS!
This means do not dismiss what you are being taught right off the
bat. If you have a positive bias and
remember that everything that you are being taught could be true, you will be
able to objectively reason with the new evidence that you are presented
with.