"TinySex and Gender Trouble": A Chapter Summary
by Shehla Korff from
Life on the Screen by Sherry Turkle
Table of Contents
Instructions for this Report
Overall Description of the Site
Introduction
Gender Trouble
All the World's a Stage
Virtual Sex
Children and NetSex
Deception
Go to the Bottom
Overall Description of the Site
Chapter 8, titled "TinySex and Gender Trouble," talks about "gender swapping online and it's implications. TinySex seems to mean "little sex." Sherry Turkle uses quotes and interviews to support what she says.
Turkle shares her first MUDding experiences where her characters are without gender. She notices that as a male character, she has freedom and she is free from the pursuit of the opposite "sex." Turkle shares the fact that everyone is concerned with the genders of the characters that they are interacting with and with the people behind those characters.
There were a few new terms that I was introduced to that I would like to share with you. Virtual Cross-Dressing is when a male person portrays a female character and when a female person portrays a male character. Neuter Characters are characters that lack gender. They are neither male nor female and they are especially difficult to maintain.
Turkle also gives us some statistics. She says that although online there are four real life men to every one real life woman, in MUDs, there are three male characters to every one female character. This suggests that more men are gender swapping than women.
I think that it is important to realize that online users may not always be what they appear on the screen. Turkle's title Life on the Screen suggests that the life on the internet, on the computer, is very different and worthy of a book all its own. So far I agree with what she has said about male characters having more freedom and female characters being offered more help.
Sherry Turkle notes that this section title comes from Judith Butler's book Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. Virtual Cross-Dressing, as online gender swapping is called, has many advantages over cross-dressing in real life. The man would have to shave his legs, wear a wig, stuff a bra, and walk in high-heels, and he also faces the public humiliation of a society that may frown upon such behavior. He opens himself to a risk of violence and a risk of arrest. Online, however, all a man has to do is change his profile and adjust his speech. Turkle explores the possibility that virtual cross dressing causes people to reflect on the way ideas about gender shape our expectations. One of her interviews is with Case who is learning to be empathetic to the female condition. He has been playing, for over a year, a woman who is in a relationship. At the end of the 1st quote, he says that every time "she asserts herself, the male character pushes her down. The things he likes about her--independent and strong--it is all being bled out of her." I also comprehend the fact that some of the things that work when you are a man, backfire when you are a woman. A female character may get offered help, so a man playing a female may respond to an offer of help, "Such chivalries communicate belief in female incompetence."
I agree that if everyone had to be the other gender for a month or two, there may be a greater appreciation of the troubles of that sex. This does not necessarily mean that he would understand her or that she would understand him. Men and women differ cognitively as well as affectively.
Turkle uses a line from "As You Like It" by William Shakespeare as the title of this section of chapter 8 because she wants to show that theater is a metaphor for life. She also reminds us that we are not the first generation to experiment with gender swapping, as is evident in "As You Like It."
A brief synopsis of the play describes gender swapping in action. Rosalind, the Duke's daughter, and her cousin Celia flee to the forest of Arden. They dress as men--Ganymede and Aliena, respectively--so they will be able to travel safely. Rosalind's love Orlando finds the "men" and Ganymede tries to be Rosalind.
In Shakespeare's day, all the roles were played by men. Understand? That means that a man is playing the role of Rosalind, who pretends to be Ganymede, only to try to pretend to be Rosalind again. This is sort of what gender swapping online resembles. Turkle compares the strategies of posing as men and deconstructing their femininity with that which female mudders do. There are also MUDders who are "double agents" which means that men play women pretending to be men, and women play men pretending to be women.
Garrett is a man who is playing a female frog named Ribbit. This interview caught my attention because it gives examples of how gender swapping can be helpful. Garrett says he feels freer to express his helpful nature. He wanted to be "collaborative and helpful" and he felt safer doing so as a female character. As a male character, when he encouraged a woman to take credit for anything, she feels the relationship is too close and so she backs out. Zoe used MUDding to help her be more assertive at work and at home.
I feel that MUDding simulates life and allows players a freedom of expression that may not be possible in their real lives. Some people will take the positive qualities from their characters and internalize them to make them their own. Others on the other hand, can use MUDding to experiment with harmful behavior. An example of this is the
Columbine High School Massacre which took place on April 20, 1999. I will not discuss the killers or their motives in this section. You may click on the link if you need more information."Virtual Sex"
Virtual Sex is when 2 or more players type descriptions of physical, verbal and emotional actions and reactions. Turkle explains something called "fake-lesbian syndrome" whereby men adopt online female personae in order to have sex with women. Some have sex as non-human characters, as well as having sex with one person or in groups. All of these behaviors are considered by the majority of the society as abnormal; therefore, online "virtual sex" is a safe environment to experiment with one's sexuality. Tim's wife Janet feels that virtual sex is infidelity because it involves the intimacy of conversation during sex (224). Rudy broke up with his girlfriend. He thought she could be a lesbian because she plays men having sex with women. Martin and Beth feel that since virtual sex does not involve the body, it is not cheating. Beth explains that online sex is just like reading a steamy romance novel.
I agree with Janet that it is the intimacy of conversation that makes "sex" special; if my partner is able to talk to someone about sex and he cannot talk to me, I would feel cheated. Many marriages are being dissovled today because one partner uses the computer in ways the other cannot handle emotionally. You should take your partner's feelings into consideration when you do anything, so why not virtual sex?
"Children and Net Sex"
The new social life for youngsters and teenagers involves online flirting, necking, petting and going all the way. Online no one knows if you are really aroused and flirting is easier online because there is less fear of rejection says Rob, a 14 year old. It is telling stories, gossiping, much more than trying to talk at a party. One 12 year old girl learned more from older kids online whom she would not normally have been able to hang around due to the social structure and peer pressure. When Turkle asks her if she is concerned about being approached by an adult, she says she feel safe because she can "disconnect" or sign off the computer.
Turkle cautions parents that the internet is like playgrounds and shopping malls. Kids can get harrassed or psychologically abused. She says that parents displace the fears of an unsafe neighborhood, drugs, violence and the inability to spend as much time with their children as they would like to onto computers and the net. What is unknown to Mom and Dad is that parents need to talk to their kids about what they are doing and they need to learn what their kids are doing.
When I was 12, I was riding bikes and having slumber parties, not virtual or real sex of any kind. I didn't even have a boyfriend. It is a changing world, but I am always shocked to find a 10-year-old typing: "10/f/wanna chat". My 1st question is usually: Why aren't you in school? I do not feel that Turkle explains that parents should be monitoring ALL of their kids? activities ALL of the time, but children online need to learn that there is certain information that you do not give out to anyone, ever, online. Those people are all strangers, and the kid would not walk up to someone on the street and say?"I live on 123 Maple Lane and my parents are not home," nor should they tell this information to anyone online.
"Deception"
This title is referring to the online deception that occurs when we gender swap and give out false information about ourselves. At first this topic may seem to be a contradiction to the last section where I do not want children to give out any information about themselves. Children and adults are different. And here, I am specifically referring to adults deceiving adults. Turkle tells the story of a psychiatrist Alex who came online and the other online users, mainly women, assumed he was a female, so he adopted Joan. This "physically disfigured and handicapped woman" became such an inspiration to others that they wanted to meet "her." Many strong bonds were formed and many intimate relationships developed as a result of Alex interacting as Joan. When the pressure to meet became too much for him, he pretended that Joan was deathly ill. Still, they wanted to send flowers and prayers and visit "her," so Alex gave out the address of the hospital, the one where he worked. There are different versions of this story, but the devoted friends of "Joan" found out that she was really Alex. Many felt that their confidence had been betrayed because they thought they were chatting with another woman. Others felt that he used them to get them to explore their homosexuality. Either way, Turkle is cautioning online users about chatting online under false pretenses. It can be damaging to those who form emotional attachments to their online friends.
I do not want to accuse Alex of anything deceptive. I feel that he was like Ribbit. As a woman, he was able to develop close relationships with women without them feeling like they were being seduced. He was also able to have meaningful relationships with people. If he intended to mislead the women, then shame on him, but I feel that his little white lie?the one about not confessing from the beginning that she was a he?spun out of control. Everyone should use this example of what could happen online if you choose to be someone or something you are not.
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