| Being a Driving Buddy: The Backseat Driver |
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What does it mean to be a driving buddy? A driving buddy as far as I am concerned is someone who helps someone to improve some aspect of their driving. It is not someone who is trying to impose their will and their ideas on someone else. A lot of times when someone says driving buddy people may think that it is one of those inflatable dummies that people put in their passenger seats to give the appearance that they are not alone. But rest assure I am not talking about that. First of all, being a driving buddy is not easy and it is not for everyone. First of all you need to be a driver who is in touch with his/her cognitive, affective and sensorimotor domains of traffic psychology. The reason I say this is because if you are not then you are not capable of helping others because you have not even helped yourself. Being a driving buddy is something that should be taken seriously because it is in effect change a part of someone's personality which is either bad or uninformed. Let us begin by saying that we are trying to teach someone from Kauai to adapt to driving norms here on Oahu. This takes place over a one week period and is done with the greatest integrity possible.
His first time out on the freeway with me was a very nerve wrecking experience for both him and me. The reason that this is so is because he is still not used to driving on the freeway and therefor is very tentative with every move that he makes. The drive started out all right because as we all know, merging on the freeway at this area is very easy and stress free. However, when we hit the university on ramp, I noticed that he became very nervous. I asked him what he was thinking and he said that he was thinking that he hoped that he wouldn't get banged because all the cars were merging in so fast. I let him continue his driving without saying anything to him. Later on he said that he didn't know how fast he should go because he was traveling the speed limit and everyone was passing him and he felt like he was doing something wrong. He told me that he hates the traffic up here simply because the amount of cars involved. He also said that he hates it when people try to cut in without waving or using their blinker. By this time we had been driving for only about ten to fifteen minutes and he was showing signs of frustration. After we passed the airport cutoff traffic ceased and we were on our way again. This time he said that being in traffic really stresses him out and makes him feel very uncomfortable. In a couple of minutes we were at the stadium and this part was over.
For his first experience I noticed that he was very tentative at times and yet very aggressive at other times. I noticed that when he was in traffic he got more aggressive and hostile then when he was driving in an open road. This to me seemed like a normal behavior for myself. I also noticed that he makes all her turn signals no matter what and he always waves thank you when changing lanes. This was something that I felt didn't need any further attention. However he did show signs of Road Rage when he started tapping rather heavily on her steering wheel when we were stuck in traffic. Overall I would have to say that he is a very good driver but lacks the experience of driving on roads like this. My recommendations for our next trip is to go on a longer trip and for him to try and do new things that I will tell him to do. Hopefully this will get rid of some of his questions and hopefully get him comfortable driving up here.
For his second experience I told him that this time when he is driving I will give him suggestions and he is to follow them. After we are done I will ask him how it felt to be made over. For this trip we again started at Kahala Mall and this time we planned on driving to Pearl City. Since I knew he got upset and nervous last time at the University area I told him to go into the middle lane and keep up with the car in front of him. We proceeded and so far he looked better than he did the last time. Later on we again like last time got stuck in traffic. This time I told him to try and remember that people have reasons for driving the way they drive and that he shouldn't take things personal. I also told him that a lot of people don't use signals because they feel that if they use them that people won't let them in. Just by telling him this is appeared that he was more open to letting drivers merge and even began to talk like there was nothing going on around him. After we cleared the traffic I reminded him to keep up as much as possible with the car in front of him because then should would be going with the flow of traffic which would make him feel more comfortable while driving. So far everything seemed great. We reached the merge to get back on H1 and I told him to take his time and use as much of the merge lane as possible. So far so good. We merged back on with no problems and in not time at all we were in Pearl City. Overall for this trip I think that I really helped him overcome some of his fears and emotions.
His reactions are actually pretty comforting. He told me that after doing this he is more aware of his surroundings and what other people are doing and thinking. He said that he really liked the advice that I gave him and that he plans on using it more in the future. He said that just by being in a different lane it removed a lot of his anxieties when approaching an on or off ramp. He said that by keeping up with the person in front of him that when he would get passed he would feel like its not something bad that he is doing its just that the other person is more in a rush. He said that he is starting to think more when he is driving, especially about what he is doing and why he is doing it. This to me shows that he is beginning to use a form of traffic Psychology in his own life and this to me is great. He also said that he would like to try this out one more time so that he becomes a better and more secure driver. He also said that he wants to learn how so that he can help others with their makeovers. Especially his parents and girlfriend.
In conclusion I found that he was very open to criticism and directions. At first I thought that it would be hard to criticize one of my close friends because of that whole ego thing. I feel that I have really made a difference in his life and that he has begun to become a better driver because of me. Not only better, but less stressed and therefore will be happier. This activity has also made me think about my own driving and how I can improve on that. I am getting better at bringing together the cognitive, affective and sensorimotor domains into one and I hope that I have done the same for him. This activity is something that everyone should try at least once because you are not only helping someone but you are also helping yourself. A note to the future generations about this, maybe it might be better if there are more than two experiences. There is still more to learn than just observing them in certain situations. The more situations there is, the better.
