My Report 2:  Being a Driving Buddy-- Why it's Great and How to do it Without Losing a Friend

by Shaunna Mazza

Here are the instructions for this report.

Introduction

   Here are some of the sites that I choose to browse through to learn more about being a driving buddy and how to perform a driving personality make-over.  Be sure to check them out yourself, there are many different views on these subject which can be very helpful and informative.  I browsed these sites for hours, there was just so much information that kept leading me in all different informative directions. 

• the CSS search engine (try both spellings "make-over" and "makeover")

• the Index for Dr. James Site

• DrDriving's Topics

• Browse through the Generations

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What is a Driving Buddy?

Previous Generations Definitions

Here a just a handful of definitions from the previous generations, everyone has a different way of expressing an idea, so I figured this will help to fully explain what it is to be a driving buddy.  These are only small excerpts from the each students reports, if you are more interested in what they have to say, simply click on their name and you will be taken directly to their personal site.  

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Ms. Nakasone's Definition of a Driving Buddy

What does it mean to be a driving buddy? A driving buddy as far as I am concerned is someone who helps someone to improve some aspect of their driving. It is not someone who is trying to impose their will and their ideas on someone else. A lot of times when someone says driving buddy people may think that it is one of those inflatable dummies that people put in their passenger seats to give the appearance that they are not alone. But rest assure I am not talking about that. First of all, being a driving buddy is not easy and it is not for everyone. First of all you need to be a driver who is in touch with his/her cognitive, affective and sensorimotor domains of traffic psychology. The reason I say this is because if you are not then you are not capable of helping others because you have not even helped yourself. Being a driving buddy is something that should be taken seriously because it is in effect change a part of someone's personality which is either bad or uninformed. Let us begin by saying that we are trying to teach someone from Kauai to adapt to driving norms here on Oahu. This takes place over a one  week period and is done with the greatest integrity possible.

What do I think?

     I would define a driving buddy as a person that helps another to modify driving behavior after observing and evaluating driving habits and performance.  The buddy must first be knowledgeable about traffic psychology, knowing how to detect problems, and then use certain techniques to ensure the best way of relaying behavior change to a driver.  Once the driving buddy analyzes behavior, they will be able to help the one being observed realize their faults, then understand ways to modify and change behavior.  If all goes well, the driving buddy will enable their client to understand how the affective (emotions), cognitive (thoughts), and sensor-motor (physical) domains all work together in improving driving behavior. Once the concepts are understood, the driver is able to continue modification every time he/she gets behind the wheel.  

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Driving Personality Make-Overs

A driving personality make-over is a great way to help a driver become safer on the road as well as optimizing driving performance.  A make-over should be performed by a driving buddy, the best would be a friend, who is willing to help someone change behavior.  The person who performs a make-over should be knowledgeable in ways and techniques that will optimize performance of another.  

The best way to perform a driving personality make-over is to chose a normal route, that is familiar to both the observer and the driver.  This will help minimize as much outside constructs as possible. The first ride should be used for observational purposes only.  After the ride, the observer should sit with the driver and discuss certain aspect they saw that should be changed.  The observer should make sure they do this in a way that does not offend the driver, and put him/her on the defensive.  The second drive is for comments and changes at the time of the behavior.  This is so the driver can see exactly what they are doing at the time of the occurrence.  A third drive should be made to see if the driver learned anything.  Three trips should only be a minimum attempt at a driving personality make-over, the best way would be if many different trips could be made, and with different time lengths in between.  

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Here are Some Definitions From Other Generations:

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Mini Driving Personality Make-Over

    When I saw this report, I knew right away who I would work with.  For as long as I known her, my friend Anne has been the most aggressive driver I have ever met, especially one that is from Hawaii.  Living in Boston most of my life, I have experienced many bad drivers.  When I first moved here I was surprised to see people being nice on the road.  I could definitely feel the aloha.  However, every time I drove with Anne, I would have to ask he if she got her driving lessons from a New York City cab driver.  She swears she has never left the island, but I don't think I'll ever believe her.  

I recieved the reaction I expected when I confronted Anne about the Driving Personality Make-over, "Yah, like I need a make-over, you need to be giving them to all the idiots driving around Honolulu like chicken with their heads cut off!"  Needless to say, it took some convincing for her to agree to my report.  She let me know, very clearly, that she would listen to my suggestions, but she wasn't going to promise any change.  She said she drove just fine, but she wanted to help with my class.  I told her all about what would go on within the following days, the observation without comment, the evaluation after the first drive, then the second drive with comments and behavioral modification techniques.  I let her know it would be a good idea to start observing herself to see if there was anything in her driving she needed work on.  She assured me there would be none.  

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Day One

So we are ready to go on day one, Anne was going to pick me up for a ride from Makiki to Sandy's beach.  This is a drive we do quite often so I felt it would be perfect for my observation.  It is important to note that observations are most accurate when the driver is familiar with the roads he/she is driving.  

At around 11:00 am, I got a phone call from Anne, "Come on, come on, let's go, I'm outside your place, we gotta get to the beach."  I ran downstairs to see Anne in her usual space, which is the middle of the road in front of my building, she never even bothers to pull into the driveway, instead she makes others cars drive around her while she waits for me.  

Anne:  It's about time, slow-poke, are you ready to go to the beach or what? 

Me:  Sorry.  What's the rush anyway, we are only going to the beach, why rush to get there when all we are going to do is lay around and go swim.  It's not like we have an appointment.  

Anne:  You know me, I hate waiting, it's my pet peeve...

Me:  Why can't you pull into my driveway either, don't you think it would be a better idea to wait there instead of blocking traffic?

Anne:  What's your problem, why do you all the sudden care...Oh I get it, it's that observation thing for your class, is that today?  I almost forgot, ok, ok, I am going to try and be on my best behavior.  

Me:  You don't really need to be today, all I'm going to do is observe you and make small comments to acknowledge certain aspects of your driving behavior.  You don't have to change anything today, just drive normally.  The only thing I am going to ask about is your thoughts about certain things every once in a while, ok?  

Anne:  Sounds like a lot of fun to me, sounds exciting.

Me:  Come on, can you just be a little open minded for this?

At that point we came to a four way stop where Anne barely stopped, and since noone was around, continued to run the stop sign without stopping.  

Me:  Why did you not feel the need to stop back there?

Anne:  Well, no one was coming, it was safe to go.  It's a waste of time and gas to stop and go again.

At that point we came to a set of lights and we had a green light, we were taking a left turn but there were people crossing so we had to stop in the middle of the intersection.

Anne:  Hurry up!  It's going to turn yellow, why do people have to be so slow?

Me:  They have the right of way, they'll be out of your way in a few seconds, people without cars need to get places too you know.   Does it really bother you that much?

Anne:  Yes, I hate being stuck in an intersection, what if another car comes and doesn't see me stopped?

Me:  Maybe you shouldn't be in their way in case that happens, it's safer to wait for pedestrians in your own lane instead of getting as close as possible and blocking the other lane.  Now your the one blocking the flow of traffic from the other direction.  I know you would be pissed if you were the one waiting on the other side.

Anne:  Good point.  

We are driving along in the right lane of a  two lane road in which there are cars parked in the right lane.  Anne sees that she  need to move to the left so she speeds up in order to pass the car on the left and just gets by at the last second, at no time did she even use a blinker.

Me:  Would it have killed you to hang back and merge behind the car instead of speeding up and almost knock your mirror off the car?  If the car did not see what you were trying to do, you would have hit him or the parked car.

Anne:  I had plenty of room, besides I didn't want to get stuck behind him.  

As we come to the on-ramp, there are a lot of cars trying to get on at the same time.  Anne tries to nudge her way into the left lane, but there is not enough room, and noone is letting her go.  

Anne:  Can you believe that?  That $@#!&*^ is not going to let me go!!  What a jerk!  I notice her giving the other driver stink eye. 

Me:  Maybe if you turned on your blinker he would see you needed to go, a nasty face is not universal for, "I'd like to get into the left lane, please".  Would you let someone in who is being rude to you?

Anne:  No way, If someone looked at me wrong I'd make sure he had no room whatsoever.  

Me:  Why would anyone else act different then?

Anne:  Ok, ok, Dr. Shaunna, your right, it does make sense.  

At that time Anne's cell phone rings and she grabs it from the backseat and has an exciting conversation for a few minutes.  She is so in depth with the conversation that she passed the parking lot for the beach.

Me:  Where are you going?  You missed the turn.

Anne:  (To the phone) Hold on a minute...(to me) did you say something...Oh my God, we missed the turn.

Me:  I didn't miss anything.  

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Reflection of Day One

When We finally make it to the beach, I take the time to ask her a few questions about the drive, while it is fresh in both our minds. 

Me:  Ok, since it just happened let's discuss why it is a bad idea to be on the phone.  Why do you think?

Anne:  Ok, ok, I missed the turn because I wasn't paying attention, but Patty was telling me what happened last night...

Me:  What if a car pulled out too fast, or an ambulance was coming, do you think it's possible you could've missed them?  Another thing is reaching into the backseat.  You put yourself in a vulnerable position again if something bad were to happen, you wouldn't have been able to have proper reaction time.  You should always be attentive and have both hands on the wheel.  Driving is a privilege, irresponsibility can take that away, it would suck to lose your car for a phone call wouldn't it.

Anne:  I see your points.  Sometimes I feel invincible on the road, I think if I'm under control it will be safe, but I never really think that others could be the cause of my accident.  I never want to lose my license, I would be lost without my car.  I guess it wouldn't kill me to turn off the phone while I'm driving, it's usually only a short drive anyway.

Me:  Why do you think I asked about parking in my driveway?

Anne:  Well, I know I would be pissed if someone made me drive around them, also, if someone were to be looking down, or on the phone, they could possible crash into me.  It does only take a few minutes to pull into the driveway.

Me:  How do you think being in a rush affects your driving?

Anne:  Well, I guess it makes me get mad more often, I always get mad at people who are in my way and make me slower.  

Me:  Why don't you try to feel less rushed, ask yourself if you really need to be anywhere that fast, if you are less hurried, you will be less anxious, and your drive will also be much more enjoyable.  Just try this for me, I think it's your biggest thing.  You can even try listening to more relaxing music that will not make you feel so rushed.

Anne:  Music can do that?  So if I listen to like FM 100 I will be more calm?

Me:  It works for me, especially on the way to work, when I usually am late, I figure I'm not going to be any faster if I get mad at people, I actually get in a better mood.

Me:  What do you think about the comments that I made today, was there anything that you would actually listen to?

Anne:  Well, I really hate to admit this, but, just by you asking me how I felt or why I did certain things, I was able to see certain aspects of my driving I know I would hate if someone else were doing it.  I never really thought of the other drivers and what they thought, Thinking back to my driving, I'm a real @#$%!.  It's like, just putting myself in the driver's seat of another car, so to speak, I can see my driving habits from a totally different perspective.

Me:  Ok, after saying all that, do you think you will do anything to improve your behavior?  

Anne:  I can't give you any promises, but I can tell you this, I will be more aware of my behaviors and try to be nicer to other drivers.

Day Two

On the second trip Anne I were on our way to Kahala Mall, another familiar drive we take often.  This trips purpose is to see if Anne had changed, as well as a more in depth chance for me to make comments and suggestions for behavior modification.  This time she would need listen to any of my suggestions and change behavior accordingly.   

This time when she came to pick me up, she was waiting in the driveway.  

Me:  I think this is the first time you've ever pulled into the driveway.

Anne:  Well, we're only going to the mall, we're in no hurry, are we?

Me:  I think I've gotten in the wrong car!   You've never said those word's before.

Anne:  I know, I know, it's just that I tried what you said, I was going to the mall the other day and I put on FM 100 and just cruised.  It was amazing, I never got mad at anyone, I even felt good about letting other people go ahead of me.  It's so satisfying when they smile and wave.

Me:  Wow, I'm in shock, I seriously didn't think this would work with you.  I'm glad you are so willing to listen, you're really going to benefit from this.

At that point Anne stopped at the stop sign, and even tough no one was coming, she waited a few seconds before going again.  

Anne:  I even have this new technique of counting to 3 at stop signs, that way I make sure I stop, look and won't get pulled over.  There are crazy irresponsible drivers out there you know, better safe than sorry.

Me:  Ok, now I know I'm in the wrong car.  Now you're teaching yourself new tricks?

Anne:  Well, after that drive to the beach, I really started thinking about being able to drive.  I don't ever want to lose my car or my life, it's better to be cautious and it really doesn't take that much effort.  If I just think about it, it's not that bad.  You know, you never really said anything to me about the way I drove before, so I just thought I was good because I drive all the time and know the roads.  

I noticed Anne went to turn right and didn't use her blinker.

Me:  Did you forget something?

Anne:  Oh shoot, I always forget that, I always assume everyone knows I'm going right if I'm in the turning lane.

Me:  It's always a good idea to use your blinker, even if you are in a turning lane and everyone is turning, this way you will be in the habit of it, and never forget.  It's one little think that could get you a ticket.  It's also like being in communication with all the drivers around you, think of it as body language, they will be able to read you and know what you are planning on doing.  

Anne:  What about those old foggies that always leave it on by accident, do I assume they are turning.

Me:  Never assume that anyone with a blinker is turning, this is a very dangerous assumption, if you are at an intersection and someone has on a blinker and you assume they are turning, and then go on that assumption while they go straight, it can turn ugly.

During the drive Anne only went above the speed limit 5 mph.  She did not use the phone and kept both hands on the wheel.  At one intersection, she waited while people crossed and never made a negative comment.  

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Here I will analyze Anne's changes in driving behavior using the three domains of driving.  First I will look at day one and then compare to day two.

Three Domains:  affective, cognitive, and sensorimotor

What Principles Were Drawn from this Report?

I think the most important principle learned in this report was awareness.  Once Anne was made aware of her driving personality and behaviors, it became much more easy for her to take suggestions into account to help modify behavior.  By thinking of others perspectives on her behavior, she was able to see she needed work.  Once affective and cognitive domains are changed, the sensori-motor simple follows.

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Was there any Resistance from the client?

When I first started, I was expecting the worse.  I thought I would receive major resistance from Anne. I was shocked to see how open-minded she was to my comments and suggestions.  After the first day, she made modifications on her own, which was even more surprising.  

How did you deal with it?

I thought I would have a tough time dealing with Anne's resistance, however, this was not a major issue.  For the most part, I brought up things to Anne without coming across as demeaning or negative.  I tired to keep it very casual and as friendly as possible so that she would not feel uncomfortable, which worked for the most part.  

Did the Participant show Hostility?

There certainly was some hostility in Anne on the first day.  She showed hostility toward pedestrians as well as other drivers.  I think the root of her hostility came from her feeling held back and slowed down, by the pedestrians, and then feeling ignored or violated against by other drivers. Once Anne was able to feel less stressed and rushed on the road, her hostility towards other diminished, she was able to be more comfortable o the road.  Another technique that helped calm her hostility was putting herself in the shoes, or seat, of another driver.  She needed to learn not to automatically assume the in capabilities or motives of other drivers.

Was there a lack of Cooperation?

As I said before, I was expecting Anne to have no cooperation in this report, however, I was proved wrong in the first day.  Although she swore at first that she drove just fine and didn't need to change her behavior, she was at least able to be open minded to my suggestions and comments.  Without even wanting it, Anne was able to help her driving behavior simply because she considered my comments.  Not only was she cooperating,  but she was able to modify her behavior without my even being there.

How was it handled?

Since I was expecting the least amount of cooperation, I began by asking Anne to simply give me an open mind.  I was not sure if it would work, but I was surprised to see how much it did.  Once I was able to get her to agree to listen to my comments, I felt more comfortable making suggestions, knowing she would at least listen.  As long as I kept the conversations friendly and explanatory, Anne was very agreeable with my project.  

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Epilogue

For Future Generations

    My advice begins with a little story.  I began this report at the beginning of the semester, it took me quite a while to write out the interview itself, analyze it, and then write it out.  I also spent quite a while searching through other generations as well as Dr. James's sites, to discover what others thought about driving buddies and driving personality make-overs.  I wrote a little at a time (as previous generations have suggested), here and there, which worked out pretty well, as a result, the report was in no way stressful.  It took me a long time to finish, but the result was well worth it.  I put the finishing touches on it Easter Sunday, when I was working on finishing my entire site.  I had to go to a bar-b-cue so I didn't upload the report, and said I would do it the next day. 

The next day, I got home from class, turned on the computer, put in the disk and tried to bring up my reports.  All that kept coming up was my oral report, four of them.  I thought I was just going crazy so I tried again and under report1 was my oral, under report2...the oral, home page...oh yes, the oral.  Not to fear though, Dr. James motto:  "Always save on two disks!"  I'm safe, right?  Not with my luck.  I looked everywhere, through all of my disks, all my computer programs and files on my hard drive, everywhere.  Nothing.  It was gone, nowhere to be found. 

I am still in shock from all of this, (probably still when you read this report).  I can't believe I could have let such a thing happen.  I had to go back, using only my memory, and write it ALL over again.  In a matter of only 3 days.  I still don't know exactly how this happened, I was using a new program for my design, but it is no excuse as to why I did not have a backup.  So there is my advice to you, if I had backup I would not have been so utterly stressed the week before finals, when I needed it the least.  Another word of advice is upload what you have, I usually wait until it is fully complete to upload, but I have learned that I could have had at least part of my report that I worked so hard on.