This is Part3

jamesy69 02/12/00 6:53 PM
SWR#4

Even after understanding the detrimental effects of road rage, I often find myself caught up in the midst of the rage. I guess I really haven't yet developed a alternative way to express my emotions. For example, while driving to my girlfriend's house this past Friday, the car ahead of me was driving 10 miles below the speed limit. This aggrevated me because the other driver had control over me and dictated the way I was driving. I felt violated in a way because the other driving did not consider that his driving was also effecting me. As a result, I started to tailgate that individual to release my frustration. The car eventually turned and I felt a lot better. After the incident, I did not have any animosity towards the other driver. In fact, I forgot that this incident had occured unil I wrote this SWR. I know that my actions were wrong and that I need to become a more careful and patient driver. I guess it's hard to break bad habits.

kuni99 02/12/00 11:17 PM
RC:#4

I agree that people's habits are hard to break. Sometimes it's just the environment that we are raised in and is all we know, but other times, in the day to day rushing around, people forget that cars are weapons and can physically hurt or kill a human being. I think that we need constant reminders to drive without road rage.

iyang 02/14/00 7:13 PM
RC: SWR#4

Any bad habits can not be changed if there is no self-awareness of such behaviors and the consequences as a result. For example, I tend to verbalize my anger when I’m driving. One day, I gave a ride to my friend and she was surprised by my behavior because I’m normally a soft spoken person. Until she told me that, I’ve never really noticed myself yelling and swearing. Now I realize that it’s not a good behavior because it accelerates the anger inside of me. So, I pay more attention to what I say when I’m driving and it’s working. Also, it’s important to reinforce the desirable behavior by rewarding yourself. Just thinking about how I’ve improved my behavior is a big reward to me.

kuni99 02/12/00 11:00 PM
SWR:#3

I feel like I observe most of the items on the driver check-up list but I don't always react in a defensive way. Maybe it could be only since I've become aware of my driving habits due the this course.

kuni99 02/12/00 11:09 PM
OC:#3

I think that people are creatures of habit and although there are attempts to improve or change the ways that people drive and react to other drivers will be a difficult task for anyone to succeed at.

kuni99 02/12/00 11:14 PM
SWR:#4

I feel really ashamed to report that I am a moderate road rage driver. I thought that I was a pretty cool headed driver, but after taking the little quiz, it revealed that I have road rage to some extent. I think that I can alter my driving a little but probably not entirely because everyone's tollerance level is different.

shanen 02/12/00 11:22 PM
SWR #3 TEE#2

Sorry I've been jumping around with the TEE's. I found that my driving offenses are similar to my road rage tendencies. I tend to rush or be impatient. This is similar to my speeding tendencies. I really think that this is bad because of the danger that it causes. What Dr. Driving said was true though. Usually if you allow yourself enough time to get somewhere you have a better chance of keeping your emotions under control when traffic takes longer than expected. I found that those days that I am running late or leave exactly enough time to go exactly 60 mph (or a mile a minute) for the entire trip, I'm always late. Now you'll realize that my math is horribly faulted because it doesn't include stoplights, 25 mph speed zones and traffic that may happen due to road work at 12 noon. (That messes me up big time)So I allow 20 minutes to go from Mililani to UH which is 20 miles away. 99.999999% of the time I either speed to make it there on time or I'm late and mad. Those extremely rare times I get there in 20 min is usually at 2 am in the morning. However I am happy to report that I rarely (as rare as getting to UH in 20 min from home)engage in the other 9 signs of offensive behavior. I realize the power of cars o be used as weapons or deadly instruments. I've been involved in too many accidents that were my fault and don't want to be involved in another ever. The sound of it gives me chills. So I'm doing my best to not contribute to the violent acts but really need help with budgeting my time to get places. Speed is my weakness.

kuni99 02/12/00 11:22 PM
OC:#4 

I think that people in general have a tendency to pour their emotional state into their driving habits. Many people are not happy go lucky all the time, in fact, we live in a society that is always trying to be somewhere and we are all slaves to time. Road rage is probably going to exist in our society for a very long time unless we can create a highly sophisticated transit system where all cars would be unneccesary.

melo1 02/16/00 9:19 PM
OC #4

Kuni99 made a good point about people having the tendency to "pour their emotional state into their driving habits." We all need an outlet to release the aggravations building up, whether it may be from work, school, family, or any personal matters. And the easiest target would be projecting our anger on other people. As for driving, it becomes a very convenient outlet because after school or work, you have to commute back home.

shanen 02/12/00 11:43 PM
OC #3

I heard about this good idea for being a being a defensive driver. However I don't remember where I heard it but here it is. To be a more defensive driver involves being aware of your surroundings, among other things. I heard somewhere that a sign of awareness is looking (glancing?) in your rear view mirror every 10 seconds just to see how everything is going behind you. I've been trying to make a conscious effort to do that recently. Supposedly it allows you to know whats coming up behind you so you could prepare for it if it happened to affect you as it come closer (i.e. a speeding car, an approaching ambulance) Even though they the speeding car is wrong, imagine if you cut in front of it and they had almost no way of avoiding it. Big accident. I'm not saying you're at fault but if it was possible to observe what's going on behind also, it may help in preventing possible accidents or just allow you take better precautions. I was just wondering if anyone else heard this. How often do you look at what's going on behind you. I this a good idea ?

melo1 02/15/00 10:49 PM
OC #3

I question the suggestion made about being a defensive driver by being aware of your surrounding by glancing at your rear view mirror every 10 seconds. It is good to be aware, however, if you glance every 10 seconds (like the author mention he/she tries to do)this can lead to an accident. Yes you are aware of the things behind you, but where are you actually heading - ahead or the back?

melo1 02/15/00 10:49 PM
OC #3

I question the suggestion made about being a defensive driver by being aware of your surrounding by glancing at your rear view mirror every 10 seconds. It is good to be aware, however, if you glance every 10 seconds (like the author mention he/she tries to do)this can lead to an accident. Yes you are aware of the things behind you, but where are you actually heading - ahead or the back?

jamesy69 02/13/00 5:54 PM
Opinion Comment #4 Give Me a Break!

I just watched a news report where a man was hit by 3 cars on highway and no one stopped to help except for one individual. I couldn't help but wonder why no one would stop and help a individual that could have died without medical attention. Since we live in the "aloha state" it's odd that so many people could care less for human life. I think we as driver have to become more conscious of our situations and become more responsible. We cannot just expect that others will take care of the situation but we have to be the ones to take action. I want to know that if something ever happened to me, that someone would be there to help. This would not only create a safer environment but also bring me more at ease with driving.

kelamuch 02/14/00 12:13 PM
RE: Opinion Comment #4 Give Me a Break!

I read that story in Sunday's newspaper and was shocked too. What is wrong with people today? How can you run someone over and not stop? I can understand that many people would be scared of the consequences, but not to stop is just inhumane! I had a friend who was in an accident on H-1 and her car was stalled in the middle of the freeway. She had hit her head, but managed to crawl out of the car. She sat next to her car while other vehicles zoomed past her. Finally, she was able to get to her cell phone and call an ambulance herself. Have we all gotten so self absorbed that we can't take the time to aid others?

And on a somewhat related issue, did anyone see the news story about a guy who hit and killed an elderly person crossing the road? The story focused on his sentence hearing. I can't remember exactly what his sentence was, but it was something like 30 days in jail. I can understand if this was a legitimate accident, but this was the SECOND person this man had killed in this type of accident. He had run down another elderly person a few years prior. I don't think he's deliberately trying to hit people, but I think that there needs to be more of a consequence for his actions. Obviously, he's not not doing something right and 30 days in jail is not going to correct it.

tanthony 02/14/00 11:20 PM
OC-4 disbelief

I couldn't believe it when I read the story about the man getting run over three times also. It happened right by my house on a part of the freeway that I frequently travel. I just thought to myself that I could have been driving by, would I have had the presence of mind to do what was necessary? If I saw someone lying on the side of the road I would at least call an ambulance or something. I don't know if I would have the courage to put myself in danger like the guy who eventually stopped and ran across the freeway to move the man's legs out of the road. I would hope that I would have done something. I have never been in a situation like that, I think your feelings and actions change when you are confronted with these kinds of situations and you can't be counted on to act any certain way. I could not believe that three people would run over someone and not stop to help though. If I ran over someone I feel like I would have to stop, there would be no other option. What these people did was just really pathetic. As far as that other guy is concerned that has killed two elderly pedestrians, on two seperate occasions, he is a menace. It is too great of a horrible coincidence that he has killed two people. If I remember correctly, he has to serve 30 days in jail, do 500 hours of community service, and his license has been taken away for like 5 years. I think he should be in jail for a long time and be given extensive driving instruction before ever being released back onto the road. Just because he did not shoot these people with a gun doesn't mean he didn't murder them. One person hit could be a terrible accident but two is more than fishy.

ShaunnaM 02/18/00 3:03 PM
OC #4

I was also shocked and saddened to hear about the incidant. It is so sad that so many did nothing to help. It makes me think of an incident in New York City, which sparked many different studies. It was not exactly the same situation, but nonetheless, it was a study of how the public reacts in certain situations. One night at around 9 or 10 pm, there was a man and a woman arguing on street in between many different apartment buildings, many people heard them and even yelled out the window for them to quiet. The arguement escalated and he eventually beat, stabbed, and left her for dead, many people heard her screams, yet noone called the police. THe man came back 20 minutesw later, and stabbed her again and then left again. THe police did not come until a half hour later. Even though many people saw and heard the incident, noone called the police because they assumed someone else did, or they thought it wasn't there buisness, or some other reason. THe studies sparked from this incident show shocking results that the public usually doesn't get involved hen they see others in danger. It's scary to think that this is the way it is, even in this day in age when there are almost as many cell phones as there are people, you'd think it would be easy to take that two minutes to call or help, and possibly save someone's life. I guess people are just too busy and self-absorbed nowadays to care.

iyang 03/14/00 10:00 PM
OC: RE: Opinion Comment #4 Give Me a Break!

About the story of a guy who hit the elderly women twice, I was shocked to hear it too. I was shocked that his sentence was only for a month or so although it was his second accident. I don’t think he did it on purpose but creating accidents that resulted the death of two people sounds really terrible. It’s obvious that he has problems with his driving behaviors and I doubt that if staying in jail for a month is going to solve the problem. Putting him in jail will not change his road rage tendency. Of course he will feel sorry for his actions and reconsider his behaviors, but he will not come out of jail as a good driver. Anyone who is involved in car accidents should be exposed to a variety of programs that will teach them to modify their behaviors. Giving people speeding tickets or throwing them into jail is a necessary punishment in this society, but it does not solve the problem.

ABumanglag 02/13/00 10:54 PM
SWR#4: ROAD RAGE

All right everyone, I must say that I found this week’s SWR exercise to be very interesting. I analyzed my driving behavior and found that I perform the first four items mentioned on the test every time I drive. I just find it difficult to sit still in traffic. I used to work for a delivery company, and back then, it was necessary for me to weave through traffic in order to make my delivery deadlines. I think that habit has carried on even today. I just have a hard time tolerating traffic. I'm one of those people who will take side roads just to keep my car moving. It’s funny now that I think of it because I also perform the remaining six items on some trips. Does this necessarily mean that I’m a bad driver? I was shocked to find that I could not respond never to any of the items on the test. What’s even more interesting is that I asked my sister to answer the test for me (since we carpool to school every morning), and she claims that I do these things on all trips. However, I disagree with her because I know for a fact that I do not drive like this all the time. I like to believe that I know my limits, so I am really careful of these things. I think I am especially careful about driving impaired. That is something that I rarely do. Then again, I don’t sleep much nowadays because of school – could that count as being impaired?

robsolmssen 02/17/00 11:43 AM
RE: SWR#4: ROAD RAGE

I understand where you are coming from. I too suffer from traffic anxiety. I take back roads just to keep my car moving. One thing that helps me stay calm is knowing that an alternative route is prodominantly slower... I've been curious, so I often time myself on both routes. Driving without having adequate sleep is definately an impairment on your driving, not to mention all other drivers on the road with you. I recommend trying to think about other things around you to distract you. For example, without impairing my driving, look around at the other drivers, other cars, or even people on the side of the road. You'll be amazed at how entertaining it can be. I find myself trying to figure people out just by watching them...you can tell a lot about a person by watching them under stress, what kind of car they are driving, or what music they're listening to.

iyang 03/22/00 12:57 AM
mistake

I don't know how to delete this! sorry.


iyang 03/22/00 12:54 AM
RC: SWR#4: ROAD RAGE

I have to agree with you that it is not easy to break the old habits. For example, my uncle in Japan has lost his driver’s license about a month ago due to his outrageous driving behaviors. For example, he breaks the speed limits all the time, drives intoxicated, etc. Finally one day, he was caught driving intoxicated and got his license taken away, and he had to pay a large amount of fine. All these punishments didn’t seem to change his road rage. He still drives like a crazy even with no license. My uncle’s case may be extreme, but breaking your old habit can be really difficult, especially if the person does not take her/his behavior seriously.

ABumanglag 02/13/00 11:49 PM
OC #4: Make the tests harder!!!

After reading several of the SWRs and also after witnessing a near-accident, I believe that maybe the driving exam should be more difficult. I mean, there are some people who should not be driving (who knows - maybe I'm one of them). Wouldn't it be nice if the driving exams could weed out careless and aggressive drivers? I thought about that for a while, and came to the conclusion that if that were so, maybe there wouldn't be anyone driving. Everyone is probably guilty of careless or aggressive driving at one point in their lives. I don't think there is any driver out there without a "bad driving sin." Some people probably don't intend to do it, but nevertheless, it happens. Anyway, the point that I'm getting at is that maybe something should be done to keep our roads safer. Maybe require monthly driving exams. Any suggestions? I just feel that some innocent driver shouldn't become a victim in an accident because of some other driver's carelessness.

shanen 02/14/00 12:35 AM
OC-RE: OC #4: Make the tests harder!!!

I agree. Motorcyclists need to take a safety course in order to get their licenses. Although they can go fast they also have a smaller chance of injuring people in cars. And here we are with no saftey training and driving on the streets (they must be terrified of us). The content taught in the motorcycle classes focus mostly on being defensive and awareness. As drivers of the bigger and potentially more dangerous vehicles, we need to learn how to be more careful with what we have to bring to the streets.

jamesy69 02/22/00 12:20 AM
RE: OC #4: Make the tests harder!!!

I think testing people, like a written test would be too hard to determine whether a individual was indeed a aggressive driver. I think that our aggressive tendencies are spontaneous and do not represent our everyday driving. Maybe if we had a built in camera in our car that we had to turn in the DMV every month we could capture our true driving behavior. This way we could determine those drivers who had higher aggressive behaviors than other. Maybe this would also make drivers more conscious of their driving and become more responsible for their actions. This is one possibility that could be implented to help control aggressive tendencies on the road.

iyang 02/27/00 1:31 AM
OC: OC #4: Make the tests harder!!!

I agree that the driving exam in Hawaii may be too easy. I have a Japanese driving license and I remember it took me about 6 months to get the license and cost me about $2,000. I know it sounds ridiculous but it is true. I have no idea what the road rage situation is like in Japan, so I can’t say if the Japanese system is working or not. But, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make the exam harder or require the drivers to sit in classes(like ours) once a year or so.

holma 02/28/00 9:19 AM
(OC #6): Make the tests harder!!!

I agree that the driving exam in the US may be too easy. I also think that getting a licence by the age of 16 might be too young. A lot of 16 year olds may not be mature enough to drive responsibly. In Sweden you have to be 18 to be able to get a driver's license and they pre-screen you too. If you have any criminal record of some kind of illegal driving, car theft etc., you'll have to wait a year or two before you can take your test.It is also really expensive, although not as expensive as in Japan! The average cost for a driver's license in Sweden is $500-$1000. Most people take about 10 lessons at a driver's school before they attempt to take the driving exam. The written exam is also very hard and it is necessary to study hard to pass it. Studying for the written test can also be done at the driving school where they have theory classes and practice exams.When I was struggling to get my driver's license myself I wasn't too happy about the system, but now I think this system is pretty good because it leads to a generally higher quality of the drivers.

shanen 02/13/00 11:57 PM
SWR#4 TEE#3

(Sorry again this will be the last out of order TEE)When I counted up my competitive behaviors I found that I tallied many times in the "how many cars you're passing", "how many cars pass you", and the "which lane is faster/slower..." behaviors. I noticed that I usually did this when there was a lot of traffic. However when there was less traffic I still found myself constantly looking at which lanes were going faster. At this point I wasn't speeding that much but I felt that I wanted a smoother flow of driving. There usually was one lane that was going too slow. I also didn't enter the extreme left lane that is supposedly for passing traffic. I think that I felt that I would feel rushed if people approached me from behind. I tried to find a good smooth lane but I guess that I may have seemed that I was driving aggressively and changing lanes too often. At times I did want to feel like I was going faster than everyone else and still see that I wouldn't get a ticket also. I was just in one of those moods that I didn't really care about being a defensive driver. I was in a ver competitive mood. I was lucky that no one else on the freeway at that time was feeling the same way. Otherwise we may have had a little competitive speeding going on. That was the only time that I remember not caring about being a decent driver. I didn't care what others thought about. i was just driving fast and ahving fun. I am trying to stay in one lane when I am driving to school in the mornings. I think I have found one lane that does better overall than the others. Write back if you're coming from central O'ahu and we can exchange strategies.

Hatsumi 02/14/00 11:32 AM
RE: SWR#4 My RC#5

I think it's good that you realize the way you drive and understand its implications on the road and how it can affect other people. I certainly don't think we should all drive like little old ladies/men, so being a little bit aggressive is probably not that bad of a thing. One can certainly argue with that statement, so maybe I should clarify it. Although I think agression is probably a bad thing, I think that one should be assertive otherwise they won't get anywhere. And that has to do with driving in addition to all other aspects of life.

ry409 02/15/00 4:22 PM
RE: SWR#4 My RC#5 (Extra OC#5)

I agree that there is a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. One had to be aware of yourself and of others around you. I think that drivers often feel as though they are in a bubble while driving, that everything around them is out side while they are inside. In actuality everyone in a car is outside they just happen to be a car. So we must all be aware of our surroundings and and drive assertively not aggressively. I've said before that many people get into their cars and just put some kind of trust into the fact that other people will look out for them. That mentality can be dangerous and can get people to put their guards down, something that should never be done when driving. I think that we all believe that where we need to get to is important, sometimes more important than the destination of our neighbor driver. Not so, we all have an equal desire to get where we need to get to. If we realize that by working together instead of working against each other to beat somebody to their destination we'll all drive a little safer.

shanen 03/19/00 9:58 PM
RE: SWR#4 My RC#5 (Extra OC#5)

In addition to the "everyone is looking out for me thinking", there is also the "it won't happen to me" thinking that goes on. This may allow people to be more careless when driving.

melo1 02/16/00 9:02 PM
RC #4

I agree with what one said about assertiveness. We should be assertive and safe while driving. Being too cautious on the roads can also cause accidents. That's why I think other aspects of dfiving besides being aggressive should be addressed. Anything on the extreme is not good.

melo1 02/16/00 9:11 PM
RC #4

I agree with what one said about assertiveness. We should be assertive and safe while driving. Being too cautious on the roads can also cause accidents. That's why I think other aspects of dfiving besides being aggressive should be addressed. Anything on the extreme is not good.

iyang 02/14/00 12:29 AM
SWR#2

From the top ten list, I have to say that I do #6(yelling, insulting, or gesturing) the most. I don’t tailgate or cut off to show my anger towards other drivers, but I do yell or curse at them. I realize that it is not a good habit because it puts me into a bad mood which can affect my driving. #3(turning without signaling) is the one I never do. I’ve had several situations where I felt dangerous because someone in front of me turned without signaling. So, I’m always aware of signaling before changing lanes or turning. Even if there is enough space, it is nice to know what other drivers are up to do.

iyang 02/14/00 12:31 AM
SWR #3

I consider myself as a defensive driver. When I drive, I don’t have any sort of competitive feelings toward other drivers. But, I do get angry when someone violates my space and puts me into dangerous situations. Also, I get angry when someone does not show any concerns for other drivers, such as not letting someone in even if that person is waving. Although I don’t keep track of any behaviors from the list, I stare at whoever retaliated me until they disappear. I think this can be good and bad. It’s good because I’m keeping an eye on an aggressive driver for the safety reason. It’s bad because I’m staring the person with hatred, meaning that my anger is in control during that time.

Hatsumi 02/14/00 11:27 AM
SWR #5

The TEE card was talking about how different affective things lead to cognitive things which lead to sensorimotor things or behavior. I think that these connections were very relevant and true. When I'm thinking positively or when I have a positive affect, I notice that I drive much more safely. When I was driving over the weekend, I tried to focus on my mood. When I made sure that I was in a good mood, I drove carefully and responsibly. If I ever fell into a bad mood, which I tried very hard not to do, I was less likely to signal and more likely to speed. When I'm on the road, I try always to be attentive and respectful of others on the road. I'm very aware that I'm not the only person who has to get somewhere. We are all trying to get somewhere. That's why we're driving, theoretically. When I actively think about safety, I'm much more likely to remember all the safety things that I was taught when I learned how to drive. My having a good mood and safe thoughts, I'm a careful, responsible driver and I think that's definitely something to be proud of.

ry409 02/15/00 1:22 PM
RE: SWR #5 (RC#5)

You know that is something that I'm always thinking about myself. We are all on the road together. When we get in our cars many of us put this faith in others. We just put our lives into the hands of others when we think or believe that others are looking out for us. This class is showing the benefits for looking out for other drivers but until everyone goes through a class like this on to make us more aware of our driving we have to do two things at once while we are driving. We need to be respectful of other drivers around us and we also need to be aware of drivers that are not looking out for others but rather only looking out for themselves. If driving attitudes are ever going to change it has to start somewhere. I think by participating in discussion forums like this onw where we can all learn from each other triumphs and errors is a good place to start.

shizue 02/16/00 11:35 PM
OC #5

You should definitely be proud of your positive attitude and behavior because eventually it will rub off on other drivers out there on the road and hopefully have a positive impact on them too. Like we talked about in class, one of the best ways for people to learn about good driving habits is by modeling the behavior of other drivers out there on the road. If there could be more positive drivers out there like you, then the roads would be a lot less emotional and lot safer for everyone!

faylogna 02/19/00 10:59 AM
RE: SWR #5

I feel the same way. If my day starts off bad, I will tend to have bad moods through out the day, and eventually anything that I may do will get affected, such as driving. I tend to be more easily get irritated with every little things that I encounter while driving. When I do have these days, I try as much not to get behind the wheel. Luckily, I have other alternative ways to get where I want to be: I have my family members and the bus to take me.

holma 02/23/00 8:07 PM
RC: SWR #5

It is true that our mood will influence the way we drive. I have also realized that I drive much safer when I feel good, compared to when I am in a really bad mood or if I am stressed out. It is great that you are attentive and respectful towards other drivers! As you said, you're not the only one who has to get somewhere. It's also good that you're actively try to think about safety, that is an excellent way to remember how to drive safer!

Hatsumi 02/14/00 11:36 AM
OC #5

For the past couple of weeks, I've been regularly reading (3 or 4 times a day) a driving newsgroup. There are a lot of people with a lot to say on the topic. Sometimes they argue about what the best car magazine is and sometimes they argue about the definition of aggressive. Anyway, one thing that I definitely noticed about a lot of the posts is that many people like to blame aggressive driving behavior on the cars themselves. They think that because cars can go faster and have better handling and steering, it's all the car's fault that the driver goes too fast and winds in and out of traffic. That is probably one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard in my life. Who's driving the damned car?! Sorry, rant. I just hate it when people don't take responsibility for their actions, whether it's in a car or otherwise. People are always so ready to blame other people and other situations. In this case, they're blaming inanimate objects. That makes no sense at all! What do you all think?

ry409 02/15/00 1:52 PM
RE: OC #5 (OC#5)

That is the most insane thing that I've heard all day but it's early. Now it's the cars fault for being made to drive fast. Never mind that the car is not able to start let alone move without a person behind the wheel. People come on let's think with our brain for a second. Driving happens because people drive not because the car has some place to go and you are just along for the ride. I don't care if the car can reach speed of 300 mph it doesn't give any excuse for breaking any laws. Next your going to tell us if it isn't the cars fault then it's the fault of the auto designers who designed the car in the first place or the production line who actually put the cars together. The blame can go on and on all the while moving farther and farther away from the source of the problem. It's the person behind the wheel calling all of the shots. No matter what kind of car that you are driving the responsibility of what happens on the road falls on to the driver. Let's be realistic. Cars don't drive on their own but we can except resposibility for our actions on our own.

isabel 03/21/00 6:35 PM
(OC #5) RE: OC #5

I think people really should not blame their cars for their aggressive behaviors nor should they be blaming anything else. They should first be aware of their own driving habits before they can say who is to be blamed. Cars certainly has nothing to do with one's driving behavior. If you blame it on the music, that is reasonable. But, on the car itself?? I suppose people may feel that they have all the power to do whatever they want behind the wheel at the comfort of their own cars. But, they are also in control of the cars since they are behind the wheel. The car certainly cannot move on its own. It needs to have a driver and then it all comes down to the driver's driving behaviors. In sum, if you are the driver, then you are responsible for your aggressive behaviors. It has nothing to do with the cars.

melo1 02/19/00 1:44 AM
RC #5: HATSUMI'S OC#5

I agree that some drivers on the road get their confidence from the type of car they are driving. They think that just because they have a fast/sturdy car, they are free from accidents. This is a common mentality among drivers that must be eliminated.

blinking 02/20/00 9:04 PM
rc #5

right on the nose. Many people are quick to blame others and avoid responsibility. Tis is not only an aspect of driving, but it most likely carries over from everyday life. I imagine that when there's traffic, their attitude is very personal...what I mean is that theyh probably think, "Why are they doing this to me?!" Just thnking like this makes driving aggressive. Actions perpetrated on them are taken way too personally and that's when things get elevated. When people take things too personally, they tend to be offended by the slightest action. By taking a step back and trying to see the other person's point of view, this can be alleviated...in my humble opinion.

iyang 03/14/00 10:03 PM
OC: RE: OC #5

It’s pathetic but it’s true that people like to blame other people or situations for their own problems rather than taking responsibilities. For example, some drivers would say that their reasons to tailgate are because of the other slow drivers. For those people, tailgating is justified by blaming other drivers and excusing their behaviors that are inconsiderate and dangerous. If you think that someone is driving slower than she/he should be, why not think of the reasons? Maybe she/he is driving a slow car or she/he is just obeying the speed limit, or simply you are driving too fast. What I’m trying to say is that people should think about their own actions first before they jump into conclusions.

isabel 02/15/00 11:49 AM
SWR #5: Common Emotionally Un-intelligent Pedestrain Behaviors to Avoid

TEE card No.68C1: Common Emotionally Un-intelligent Pedestrian Behaviors to Avoid

This card gives you a list of behaviors that many pedestrains commit that are considered common but emotionally un-intelligent. I think it is common for people to sometimes forget some of the most important rules of the road such as turning on the signals or walking in dim light conditions wearing clothing that is dark. Anyways, sometimes I do walk in dim light conditions wearing clothing that is dark although I know very well that it is not safe. I just think that it does not matter that much and don't think I will ever get into an accident because of that. But I know that you never know when the bad misfortune will happen to you so it is always best to be on the safe side than to be sorry.

I seldom commit those behaviors so I think my emotional intelligence is quite high. When I go out at night, I seldom have to cross interjunctions so I do not care much about wearing bright clothes. If I do cross interjunctions, I will just make sure to look closely before crossing.

jamesy69 02/21/00 5:32 PM
RE: SWR #5: Common Emotionally Un-intelligent Pedestrain Behaviors to Avoid

I think as a pedestrain I feel less responsible in observing traffic laws. I never really followed traffic signals at intersections and frequently just ran across the street. It never really occured to me that my actions could be dangerous to others. Since pedestrains have the right of way, I always thought it was the drivers responsibility to look out for me. I never put myself in a dangerous situation though where I could have been hit or hurt in any way. I guess I have been lucky all these years. I now realize as a pedestrain that I have to be more conscious of my surrounding environment and use more emotional intelligence when crossing road ways. This will not only create a safer environment for myself but also for drivers as well.

ry409 02/15/00 1:14 PM
SWR #5 Drivers Threefold self

The principles behind the Driver's Threefold Self model is something that I am familiar with. The roprt that I gave in class about the ACS Classification system ued the same categories as this model does. When I examined my driving over the weekend I tried to be aware of the feelings that I was thinking when I was driving. When I try to interpret the Driver's Threefold Self Model into my own driving habits I found that I initially was in the phase 2 model. I started my car trying to feel supportive, tolerant, mitivated by safety, and being respectful in the affective self. It worked for a while and I really did try to be as positive as possible. I know that I was driving with a more positive attitude on that weekend than I normally do. then there was a slowdown. A reverse wave of stopage came upon me and before I knew it I was right in the middle of it. I started to go in the Phase 1 Cognitive self category. I was feeling critical of the people around me and jumping to incorrect conclusions. It turned out that there was an accident. I don't think that it was anything serious, but I know if it were me on that road I wouldn't want the people passing by to be passing on negative thoughts while I lie there in the road uncertain of whether or not I'm going to live. When I thought about that I moved back into the Phase 2 Model and I was able to control my emotions and use correct judgement to drive safely. I always thought that the best person to put forward onto others is someone you get along with.

shizue 02/16/00 11:32 PM
RC #5

I can totally relate to you and jumping between the two phases so easily. Even if you start off in Phase 2 and feel emotionally in control, the littlest thing could happen that will set off your emotions and immediately drive you into Phase 1 again. I realize that it just takes a lot of practice to not let all the little things that happen on the road get to you. It's like anything else in life, if you always let the little things bother you, then you just get stuck and can't really move on and be a better person for it. People just have to realize that these little things like traffic are always going to be there and happen no matter what so the best thing to do is just take a deep breath and not let it get to you emotionally. Of course, that is always easier said than done!

melo1 02/19/00 1:52 AM
OC #5: SHIZUE'S RC #5

I agree that it's hard to identify with just one phase in the Driver's Threefold Self. It is very difficult to control emotions, especially when you're not thinking straight, like when you're in rage. However by practicing to be more tolerant and patient, these characteristics can be more readily available when the situation arises.

tanthony 02/19/00 12:58 PM
RC-5

At least you were able to pull yourself back together and didn't let the situation ruin the rest of your drive or day. Just think how much easier it will be when you find yourself slipping into phase 1 to pull yourself back into phase 2. As anything else does, I think that being a phase 2 driver takes concious effort and practice. The more you practice and are successful, the easier keeping control of yourself will be, until maybe it is even second nature. I think that I am usually pretty good about catching myself but I have to admit there are those exceptionally trying moments when staying positive takes a great deal of effort. This is when I have to pull out all of my coping strategies, smiling, singing, thinking positive thoughts, and amazingly they usually work. Good luck!

ShaunnaM 02/15/00 4:13 PM
SWR # 2

After reading the top ten list, I soon realized that I can categorize myself to a few of them. I read the list and then observed myself in those particular situations, as for tailgating, I can proudly say I do not. I am a little confused as to whether or not you could say I have recklessly changed lanes. There have been times when I realized I needed to take the next right and had to cross four lanes in time. I checked and there was noone behind, I used my blinker and took it one lane at a time, I don't think it is that reckless, is it? There have also been times when I've not used turn signals because i am in the "left-turn only" lane. I assume that everyone else knows i must go left - is it necessary to use a blinker? Ok, ok, I must also admit to insulting other drivers if they cut me off or drive bad around me, but I say it to myself, most of the time under my breath. Another thing that I think I am guilty of is passing on the right in the breakdown lane, I have always felt that if ther is enough room to get by then there is nothing wrong with it. I think the reason for this is impatience.
I'm not sure to what level all of these items on the list are meant to be, but I feel that I am a safe driver, even though I was guilty of a number of them. I will observe and try to change some behaviors, but for the most part, I think I'm OK.

melo1 02/15/00 10:44 PM
SWR #3

Many times, I notice myself getting worked up for nothing on the road. When I am in a rush, I am a reckless (but safe) driver. That may not seem comforting for the other drivers on the road, however. When late for class, I notice myself passing more cars than usual and being frustrated and annoyed at other drivers easily. I have the tendency to weave through traffic, however during the exercise I didn't find myself running any red lights or stop signs. However, when not in a rush I comply with the traffic laws.

ShaunnaM 02/18/00 2:42 PM
RC #4 to SWR #3

This person says that they drive by the law when they are not in a rush, but in a hurry they bend the rules. I think this is dangerous thiniking. When a person is late, their mind has even more thoughts rushing through it, driving faster or breaking the laws (ie. speeding through yellows, or running reds) can be even more dangerous because you are less likey to be thinking about the other drivers on the road, as well as pedestrians. It is also a bad idea to drive like that when you are late because you will be more likely to be pulled over, which will make you even more late in the end, and then you'll have a ticket to pay.

melo1 02/16/00 8:50 PM
SWR #4

From doing this exercise, i am more aware of my aggressive behavior on the road. Sometimes, I can control it, yet at times it's so hard to do so, especially because i've grown accustomed to such behavior. From the list given, I can identify with the first four the most. At times, though (depending on my mood), I am guilty of identifying with the next four tendencies. As long as there are inconsiderate drivers and congested roads/freeways I don't think we can completely eliminate road rage.

shizue 02/16/00 11:38 PM
SWR #5

I find that I mostly drive within the Phase 2 context. However, as I stated before sometimes it depends on the previous events of the day. If my day has been mostly positive then it is extremely easy for me to have a positive outlook on driving and not let all of the little distractions and disturbances bother me emotionally. However, if my day has gone completely horrible and I'm already in a bad mood before I step into the car then it is a lot harder for me to control my attitude and keep my emotions in check. I realize that I have to do this and try very hard not to drive when I'm just too emotional because I don't want to be causing problems to other drivers who don't deserve it. Hopefully, in time I will learn to easily regain my positive attitude even on my worst days!

LDwiggins 02/17/00 10:44 PM
RC to Shizue's SWR #5

Shizue:

I understand what you are saying. It is hard to shake the negative feelings when the day begins badly and just seems to go down from there. However, it seems that you realize that you need to do something. Your reason is thoughtful (not wanting to cause other driver's problems), but you should also be doing it for yourself. After reading Emotional Intelligence (Passion's Slave) I can relate to what Goleman is saying. The more I thought about what I was angry about the more angrier I got. I now find if I count my blessings instead of focusing on a small insignificant moment(traffic), I am able to relax and look forward to the rest of my day. Hang in there I am sure you will soon regain your positive attitude. :)

LDwiggins 02/17/00 10:32 PM
SWR #5 Tee 9C2

I had errands to run on Monday and ran into unusually heavy traffic at 9:00 a.m. While in traffic, I slowed down to allow The Bus to merge into my lane. The driver took longer than usual and the driver in the car behind me was so impatient that he passed my vechile on the left side (while the bus was merging into my lane). I felt myself getting a bit irritated with this impatient driver. I tried using the "alternative reason" technique to manage my feeling. (Maybe this driver was late picking up flowers for his sweetheart.) I think I will make a tape of funny noises that I can play whenever I feel irritated. I currently use a taping of upbeat Hawaiian music to help me manage any negative feelings. It takes work to apply these strategies to manage anger. I am optimistic that with practice of being aware of my reactions I can learn to apply strategies so I can avoid sweating the small stuff. :)

isabel 02/25/00 1:28 PM
RE: (RC #6)

I think it certainly takes work to apply the strategies to manage one's emotions but they will really pay off in the long run. It is good that you are doing that. We always have to deal with these hassles in life, no matter big or small, so it is always good to be able to manage our emotions better so to deal with life. If you don't start learning how to manage your emotions, they will just get to you. So, the choice is whether you want to let your emotions take control of you or you want to be in control of them. It is only wise and sensible to choose the latter because we can benefit from that. Again, the hassles will always be there and so there is really a need to learn how to cope with them. It's a lifelong learning process. Having emotional intelligence can take us through life more smoothly. I think.

But, I don't quite understand why you were irritated by the impatient driver. I would think it is just reasonable that he pass you by especially if he is in a hurry. I wouldn't think of it as anything but I probably would feel impatient with slow drivers especially if I am in a hurry. So, I probably would act like the driver too if I think you were slow and I am in a hurry..

LDwiggins 02/25/00 3:12 PM
RE: (RC #6)

I appreaciate your feedback. I was not going slow, I had slowed down to allow the bus to merge. I was irritated because the car behind me went around and then sped up to pass the bus that I was letting into the lane. I understand he/she may have been in a hurry, however this was unsafe driving and my letting the bus merge (in my opinion) did not cost him/her too much lost time. I know I should not let it get to me, but for a moment it did because it was such unsafe driving and I don't feel there is any reason to drive that way. Nothing is worth risking lives or causing accidents for. If it was an emergency he/she could have put his/her hazard lights on, but it is my feeling that he/she was just impatient. Thanks for your honesty.

LDwiggins 02/17/00 11:05 PM
OC#5

I find that even after the issuance of the written warning that drivers should not block the intersection - many still are committing this violation. I feel that drivers that receive citations should instead of paying the fine, be required to attend some kind of remidial driving course. Another solution that seemed to work on Maui is that law breakers were required to hold a sign at a busy intersection indicating their offense. A Judge in Maui felt this was "just" sentencing. I do not know what the effects were - if law breaking decreased. However, some drivers seem to drive as if the laws don't apply to them. It is my opinion that something other than a fine needs to be done in many instances of violations. The Learning and Motivation class I took explained that punishment (eg: fine/humiliation) is temporary and does not work as well as reward training. Maybe we need to get some kind of break on our insurance cost as an incentive. What do you think?

ShaunnaM 02/18/00 2:31 PM
SWR # 3

After looking at the list of this tee card, I did not think I was guilty of doing anything on the list. As for all of the counting ones, I know that I do not do that. I do take notice if something happens, for example, not letting someone by,but I do not count how many times I do this in one trip. I think it is scary to think that others do that while driving, it is like they are playing a game with themselves, and the road is no place for competition, this can become dangerous if they are thinking of breaking a record instead of paying attention to their driving. There is one thing that I do that was on the list, but I am unsure as to wheter or not it is a bad driving habit. In the morning on the waay to school, I try to find out the fastest way to school, depending on what time I leave, which lanes I drive in, or what route I go. I don't think there is anything wrong with me doing this, since I am not speeding or driving wrecklessly. Am I?

End of page 16

faylogna 02/19/00 10:48 AM
SWR#5 (Driver's threefold self)

Recently, I have not been driving because my car in under repair. However, if I was to recall the times that I was behind the wheel and relate how my driving threefold self may have been I could truthfully say that I see myself in both phases. I've noticed that it in when I feel overwhelmed with things and feel out of control that I tend to be in phase 1. I tend to be more affected in my sensorimotor self than compared to the three. I do catch myself do dangerous maneuvers and unaware of errors. I definitely do not like being this in phase because I don't want anything bad happening to me or anyone else. Overall, I could categories myself being in phase 2 and see myself in all three self. So far, I pretty much have things in the good side and it affects in that I tend to have better judgement of things and more aware of things that are around me.

faylogna 02/19/00 11:19 AM
OC#5

In a more positive side. I personally feel, it is a wonderful and interesting that our emotional intelligence can greatly affect with our driving and other things we do in our lives. Many are unaware about the subject. A couple of friends have already asked me " how is emotional intelligence relates to driving." In response, I have collaborated all the things we have learned so far, which are the readings from the book, exercises from QDC, reports of past generations, and the discussions we have in class. It is a complex idea and I sometimes caught myself overwhelm with it. However, I think that I was some what able to touch on the subject and have my friends have a sense of what we are learning.

tanthony 02/19/00 12:42 PM
SWR-5

I would have to say that I relate most with phase two. As I looked through the phase one part, I just did not see myself there. There was one exception though, and that was a few places in the cognitive section. I think that I feel like people are mad at me for driving in a thoughtful and responsible way. By driving this way, at a resonable speed, allowing people to merge in front of me, I feel like people behind and around me think I am slowing them down. I really don't know what they are thinking and I continue usually to drive my way, but for some reason I worry about bad thoughts being aimed at me. In most other ways I am a phase two driver, I'm sure I slip up at times though, we can't all be perfect drivers all the time, although that should be the goal.

Road_Warrior 02/19/00 6:15 PM
RE: SWR-5

You really have nothing to worry about. I used to be one of the drivers who whipped around slower drivers like you, like you were some sort of obstacle. But now that I am a better driver, I realize that there is more going on in my life than just driving. You should not feel bad, therefore, if you obey the posted limits or allow other drivers to go ahead of you. There is no law against courteous driving, and if it bothers the guy behind you, oh well. He'd better grow up some time.
Where I live, in Washington State, it is the law that you must allow drivers to merge, for example, when you are on the freeway and they must get on. Rather than focus on the means of your driving, keep the radio on and focus on being at your destination.
Remember, 99.95% of all drivers will never be in exactly the same place where you were at on any given day. Many will never give it a second thought: that you were making them angry while they were behind you, and you let someone else go in front. It is their emotional problem, not yours, if they have a negative reaction to some particular driving move that you did. So do not feel that you have to bear their emotional burdens.
You will also find it helpful to write out your thoughts in a word processor or personal diary whenever you have aggressive driving incidents. When you write them down, certain weaknesses such as low self-esteem, have a way of working themselves out and becoming strengths. I should know, I wrote a book about it.
See you around. Drive Well!

Guerra 02/21/00 12:29 PM
rc #5

Hello everyone,
How's class been by the way. I should be back to class by the week after next so hope to see you all. I just read your posting tara and I agree with road warrior that you should continue to be a good driver. I am a really aggressive driver sometimes but I notice that I am rude to other aggressive drivers. If someone is driving slow and holding me up I just pass them, not rudely mind you, then continue on. But when a driver is rude and tries to cut me off then I become aggressive. I know, it's not the best trait in the world, but I am trying.

I used to be ashamed when my grandmother used to pick me up. She used to drive an old 74? carmangia(forgot how to spell it). She would always pick me up from elementary school and I used to be ashamed to let my friends see me. Mainly because she would drive really slow and other drivers used to always beep at her. She never seemed to notice that people were beeping at her. I feel bad for having been ashamed, because she never broke any traffic laws or caused any accidents. I was just ashamed because she wasn't driving aggressive like everyone else. I now try not to speed around drivers obeying the speed limit. I try to understand that they are just trying to obey the law.

Guerra 02/21/00 12:29 PM
rc #5

Hello everyone,
How's class been by the way. I should be back to class by the week after next so hope to see you all. I just read your posting tara and I agree with road warrior that you should continue to be a good driver. I am a really aggressive driver sometimes but I notice that I am rude to other aggressive drivers. If someone is driving slow and holding me up I just pass them, not rudely mind you, then continue on. But when a driver is rude and tries to cut me off then I become aggressive. I know, it's not the best trait in the world, but I am trying.

I used to be ashamed when my grandmother used to pick me up. She used to drive an old 74? carmangia(forgot how to spell it). She would always pick me up from elementary school and I used to be ashamed to let my friends see me. Mainly because she would drive really slow and other drivers used to always beep at her. She never seemed to notice that people were beeping at her. I feel bad for having been ashamed, because she never broke any traffic laws or caused any accidents. I was just ashamed because she wasn't driving aggressive like everyone else. I now try not to speed around drivers obeying the speed limit. I try to understand that they are just trying to obey the law.

iyang 03/22/00 12:49 AM
RC: RE: SWR-5

It is sad but I sometimes feel pressured to drive more aggressively on the road. I try and want to drive with aloha, but there are these inpatient and inconsiderate drivers who would give me hard times whenever I do nice things. For example, I didn’t precede when the signal turned to green because I didn’t want to block the intersection ahead of me. Then, this taxi driver behind me honked at me real loud. I didn’t move but just ignored him because I knew what I did was right. I guess sometimes it’s wiser to ignore those people instead of taking them too personally.

blinking 02/20/00 8:29 PM
swr #5

As I observe myself, I tend to notice that I engage in the cognitive self type of actions. I am critical of other drivers and find myself stereotyping based on car type and driver actions. I do also tend to engage in dangerous maneuvers (the aspect of sensorimotor self) by speeding. I do think that a part of defensive driving is having a certain stereotype about the other driver. I also feel that I engage in trying to calm down when someone cuts me off or something...another aspect of the cgnitive self.

blinking 02/20/00 9:32 PM
oc #5

Have you ever noticed how much a distractin a cell phone can be... I own one and speaking from experience, I can truly say that they are dangerous. Many times I have had to utilize my defensive driving techniques to avoid distracted drivers merging into me and driving in the middle of the road. I suggest that if you need to use the phone, stop and use the phone...it's not worth an accident.

jamsy69 02/21/00 6:00 PM
RE: oc #5 Paying Attention

I think using cellular phones while driving is risky and takes your concentration away from driving. This issue has brought up so much concern that in some states it is now illegal to use cellular phones while driving. I think this is a great idea because drivers will be more inclined to use their phones when they are not driving. This will help create a safer driving environment and reduce accidents on the roads. I think that even driving without the distrations of using a phone is hard enough. Drivers have to realize that driving is a tremendous responsibility and have to pay extreme attention to avoid injuring themselves and others. I think some drivers have taken driving for granted and do not feel that they will ever cause a accident. They just don't understand that other drivers could be the source of creating the accident. I don't think it is too much to ask drivers not to use their cell phones when driving. Do you?

iyang 03/14/00 9:57 PM
OC: RE: oc #5 Paying Attention

Using cellular phones on the road can be dangerous and in reality, I’ve heard many stories of car accidents that involve talking on cell phones before the accident. I don’t know if banning the use of cell phones on the road is a solution. But I guess it will help some people to become more aware of the possible consequences of using cell phones while driving. Then, what about drinking coffee, shaving, applying make-up, or even changing clothes while driving? I don’t remember the percentage but the CNN news reported that these behaviors are frequently done by drivers on the road. In fact, this morning, I saw a male driver shaving while driving. To me, using cell phones and shaving while driving are not really different when considering dangerous or risky behaviors. So, how should we treat these behaviors?

robsolmssen 03/16/00 12:20 PM
RE: oc #5 Paying Attention

I agree that many drivers take driving for granted. Those who use cell phones while they are driving, for the most part, are not paying attention to the road. I think that all phones in cars should have a hands-free operating system. This would diminish the amount of accidents that are caused by cell phone use. Another important aspect of attention that should be taught to all new drivers is the rule that one should always look down the road as far as the eye can see. This enables you to see what is going on further down the road, and not just ten feet in front of your car. If everyone practiced this technique, then it would be extemely dfficult to rear-end someone.

Guerra 02/21/00 12:39 PM
SWR #5

I wasn't exactly sure about this swr. Mainly because I show signs of both phases. I'm sure not a perfect phase 2, but I'm not as horrible as the phase 1 suggests. I become angered and bothered. So I'm not very tolerant. But I almost never perform acts which endanger my safety. I am always attentive and watch the road. Especially when I'm speeding.

When I was in high school a long time ago. I used to race, I know stupid, but that was before. Well, I used to be the most attentative and watchful while I raced. When I wasn't racing I wasn't very cautious. Because I was just cruising and not paying attention. So sometimes I'm at my most aware while driving aggressively. I always know my limits, that is I will only speed up to a certain point. I don't drive ridiculously fast like others. The point I'm trying to get across is that while I am still do things in phase 1 I think alot more cautiously such as in phase 2, even while I'm being aggressive.

ABumanglag 02/22/00 1:38 AM
RC#5: RE: SWR #5

I understand what you mean because I also have a habit of speeding. However, when I speed, I like to consider it "speeding smart." In other words, I remain extra attentive of the road and all cars around me. I know what my driving limitations are, and so I try not to do anything too excessive. I also find that I have a higher sense of awareness when I drive aggressive. Maybe it's a physiological reaction to all the adrenaline being produced. Anyway, I know that the phase 2 driving method is the ideal safe method, but it requires a lot of patience - something that I still need work on.

Guerra 02/21/00 12:56 PM
OC #5 (Traffic Sucks)

I just wanted to state my humble opinion on traffic: It sucks!!! Does anyone know why traffic in Hawaii is so bad? I mean it seems to get worse every year. When I first started working at John Dominis over two years ago it took me about ten minutes to get to work. I would be able to catch all of the lights going along Beretania. Now two years or so late I always miss the first light on Beretania, then the second light, then I miss all of the rest of the lights. This is due to the fact that as soon as I turn on the street there are cars backed up everywhere. Why does it have to suck so bad?

Also why does construction always go on during rush hour? My guess is that in the morning and afternoon it is cooler so they perform traffic then. Whereas during noon time it is too hot to work construction? Also the noise would be too great if they did construction at night. I say f*ck the noise. I hate getting stuck in traffic because of some stupid construction. I would rather hear alot of noise while I'm trying to eat dinner then have to drive in traffic for half an hour. Or more for other people. What does everyone else think.

tanthony 02/21/00 3:02 PM
OC-5 RE: (Traffic Sucks)

I agree that traffic seems to be getting worse and worse. I went to live on the mainland and when I came back home to visit a year later, I thought that the traffic was just awful. It seemed worse than I ever remembered. During the day, I usually try to drive places at times other than rush hour. I know that I should stay off the road if possible in the morning, afternoon, and lunchtime. This just doesn't seem to leave much time to get where I need to go without encountering traffic. But even with this strategy I still find myself getting stuck. As my boyfriend likes to say, "Doesn't anyone have a job anymore?". There seems to be tons of people out on the road now at all times of the day, the only truely pleasant times to drive are late night and early morning. Trying to fix this problem through adding more lanes and updating our streets will only cause chaos and worse traffic problems, and it would take forever, judging by the speed of previous construction projects. I am moving to the mainland, and the traffic here is not something that I will miss.

shanen 02/24/00 9:09 PM
OC #5 (Traffic Sucks)

Just wondering where you live. I always wondered why traffic is so bad for leeward drivers. That is everyone who needs to drive to town from anywhere west of the Middle street merge. There is always construction being done somewhere between Salt Lake and Waipahu at some time of the day, giving you traffic at every hour of the day. No matter what time it is, whether I'm coming into town or going back home, there's always traffic. They always seem to find a way to make a 15 min drive turn into half and hour or 45 mins. I know, I'll just wake up at 4:00am in the morning leave by 5:00am, get to where I need to be 3 hours early, stay in town until 1:00am at night (the next morning) and then go home and do it all again in 3 hours. All to miss traffic, or get somewhere on time. Then there's probably a 50/50 chance that there is going to be construction somewhere. It's getting ridiculous! Any other solutions?

Guerra 02/26/00 4:58 PM
RE: OC #5 (Traffic Sucks)

My girlfriend does same thing that you do every day. I still live with my parents at home which is a good thing. But my girlfriend lives in Mililani. Just so she can miss traffic, she leaves her house at 4:30 a.m. every morning. She doesn't start class till a lot later but she hates driving for over an hour in traffic. This is a pain in the butt for her. Oh, btw I live in Manoa, but I still get traffic going to my workplaces, Ward, and Hickam. The really bad thing about all this traffic is that if I don't work at night, I don't even see my girlfriend because I don't want to drive to her house in rushhour traffic. And I don't want to wait till 8 or whenever the traffic is finished just to have her drive back to my house at 4:30. Not as bad as your situation but I still hate it.

jamesy69 02/21/00 5:02 PM
SWR #5

After taking a trip to the North Shore this past weekend I found myself observing characteristics similar with those with phase 2 of the drivers threefold self. I think my mood had a lot to do with the way I approached driving that day. The trip to the North Shore was a spontaneous decision which made me excited because I haven't been their since the summer. I found myself driving a lot slower just to absorb the scenery around me. For the first time in a long while I was driving just for fun. From this experience I found myself being more alert and responsible for myself and others. I felt more tolerant of other drivers simple because I wanted to enjoy myself. Even though many cars passed me on the way up, I did not feel compelled or driven to speed up or compete with other drivers. I think this is the first time in a while that I actually drove with some emotional intelligence. I guess knowing before I started to drive that I would have a good time really changed my aspect on driving. I just hope that I will be able to apply this way of driving everyday.

allianic 02/21/00 6:04 PM
RE: SWR #5

I think that it is cool that you were showing a lot of emotional intelligence while driving. It is natural to drive slower when you are going somewhere that you have never been before. This past week I went to Las Vegas, and I haven't been there for about five years. So there were a lot of changes. My mom drove pretty slow so we could all get a good look at the strip. But I noticed that her mind was not on driving. Instead, it was on the scenery. I think that it is natural for the driver to want to do some sight seeing too. But it is hard to keep your mind on driving responsibly when you are somewhere new. As a result of her mind wandering, I noticed that we got a lot of honks from impatient drivers behind us and we had to slam on the brakes a few times. Maybe we should've taken a cab!

Sandee 03/08/00 11:41 AM
RE: SWR #5(OC #5)

I also agree that driving to a destination with a positive mind really reflects on the way that you drive. When I feel relaxed and happy, I enjoy driving but being stuck in traffic on my way to work makes me really frustrated. I guess going out to have a fun and leisure time is important for us (especially us students). We need to get out and feel free from the daily stress of homework and exams! And also from all the negativity that goes around on the road.

allianic 02/21/00 5:59 PM
SWR #5 G13

After looking at the tee card, I figured that I was somewhere in between Phase 1 and Phase 2. There are times when I feel competitive and times when I feel supportive. It all depends on the mood that I am in that day. But I would say that it is 50/50. I can control my anger at other drivers most of the time. But if I am in a bad mood, it is a bit harder to be calm when I get cut off by someone. If I am in a hurry I will take a risk and spoeed through a yellow light. But there are other times when I am safer and I will slow down. Like I said, it all depends in the mood that I am in. But I hope that I will soon be able to be in phase 2 all of the time, instead of just most of the time. I think that when I first started driving, I was always in phase 1. Now that I have been driving for a while, I am in between the phases, and if the pattern continues, when I am old, I should be in phase 2.

kuni99 02/23/00 2:18 PM
RE: SWR #5 G13

I think that a lot of people, not only the young drivers, are between phases. Although it shouldn't come to this, I think many times, it will take a tragedy like a car accident for someone to realize that a car is a weapon and that even taking precautionary measures while driving can result in a car accident.

shanen 02/24/00 8:44 PM
RE: SWR #5 G13

I want to get out of phase one but have been finding it very difficult. There are just enough incidents that make me realize that I am closer to phase one than phase two. Earlier I might have thought that I was closer to phase two, but now I realize that I let my emotions get to me too much. It's usually the other drivers that affect my mood. It's possible for me to be a phase two even though I got up on the wrong side of the bed, but when another driver has an influence on be that's negative, I turn into a phase one.

ABumanglag 02/22/00 1:28 AM
SWR #5: My threefold self

It was difficult for me to determine exactly which phase of the driver's three fold self I belong to. The reason is because I find that I tend to switch between the two phases frequently. This weekend for example, there was one instance (there were probably more) where my driving style fell into the phase 1 category. It was Friday afternoon and I was rushing home. I was thankful that the week was finally over and a three day weekend was ahead of me. Without realizing it, I was driving fast and weaving my way in between lanes. For some reason, I just felt in a rush to get home. I was also getting annoyed by slow drivers on the road. Now that I look at it, I realize that this behavior is characteristic of the phase 1 driving threefold self. I felt motivated to get home quickly, which led to my erratic behavior of weaving through traffic and getting annoyed at slow drivers. This was one instance where my driving could be categorized as phase 1 of the driving threefold self model.

However, I must say that there was one instance when my driving was also characteristic of the phase 2 driving threefold self model. It was Sunday night and I was not in a rush to get anywhere. I was driving to Waikiki to meet up with some friends, and I felt much more relaxed compared to my drive home from school on Friday. I was more tolerant of other drivers on the road - none of the usual weaving through traffic behavior! I think that this allowed me to be a better driver and also minimized my stress on the roads. I guess being in the proper mindset is really a big influence on driving style.

ry409 02/24/00 11:19 AM
RE: SWR #5: My threefold self (OC#6)

I know what you mean. I think that the two phases are there for reason of distinction. There has to be some division in order to creat some kind of order. I think that it is almost always true that when we drive we cross over into phase one and then into phase two. When I my driving was analyzed by my passenger she rated me as crossing over the phases twice. I mean that I started out in phase two and then crossed over into phase one when something happened. I think that there was somebody who crossed into my lane without signaling. I tried not to let that bother me but I think that it was a natural reaction for me to think of somethin other than positive compassionate thoughts. When I regained my composure I crossed back into phase two again.
Something different happened when I was examining and evaluation myself using these two phases. I realized that I was in phase two more of the time when I was driving and when I did go into phase one I moved more quickly back into phase two. That is just one of the benefits of analyzing my drinving in this way.

ry409 02/22/00 2:46 PM
SWR#6 Managing Outbreak of Anger in Traffic

We are always told to count to ten in every instance of emotional flare ups. I think that technique only works if you are actively trying to calm yourself. If you are harboring anger while counting the exercise is useless. I do believe that it is necessary to try to find some way to remove yourself from the moment in order to interrupt the anger that is raging. Another suggestions was to "Count Your Blessings. and to "Forgive and Forget". This is giving a lot of credit to drivers already feeling angry. Sure I think that it's always nic eto think about the passengers in your car and it's always nice to be thinking about God, but drivers in this situation are not always in the right frame of mind to follow through with this recomendation. Ther were a couple of other suggestions that were made in the TEE Card but those were mainly to try to distract the driver from the anger that they were already feeling. I think that two of the best suggestions were to "Think of Alternative reasons why someone does something" and to "Develop and attitude of altitude". I think that these two suggestions would be the most helpful because to do them one has to actually change their thinking before they even get into the car. It's not about doing something once the anger is there but about preventing the road rage the feel before you even get into the car. Prevention, at least in my book is always a better solution that dealing with the after effects of a problem . The last suggestion in the TEE card was to "Commit yourself to a Lifelong Program of Driver Self-inprovement". This requires one to continually assess one's driving behavior on each trip by keeping objective accounts that can't be biased by personal interpretaions.

shizue 02/24/00 4:36 PM
RC #6

I do agree with you that counting to ten will only work if you are actively trying to calm yourself down. However, I believe that in order for anyone to be a really good driver in control of their actions, then they should be trying to actively calm themselves down whenever they feel angry about a situation that just occurred. It's similar to parenting. If you just vent out your anger at your child everytime you feel like it, then that isn't going to make you the best parent. Sometimes you just have to pull yourself aside and count to ten. I do also agree with you that one of the best techniques described was to try to make up reasons for why the other person did what they did. This type of cognitive thinking allows us to reduce our anger and put less blame on other people. Perhaps, the other person really was in an emergency situation and needed to overtake you. We really don't know and it is always better just to assume the best of things not the worst.

ABumanglag 02/22/00 3:27 PM
OC#5

Today, we had an interesting discussion in class regarding the definition of aggressive driving. From today's discussion, I realize that most of the things we talk about is really dependent on the definitions that we apply to the terms. For example, I would have never really thought of classifying driving behavior into passive and active aggressive groups. I think that in order to really be effective, a clear definition should be established that everyone can work with. This would allow us all to get a better understanding of what proper driving behavior is, and perhaps even improve the quality of driving.

ShaunnaM 02/23/00 1:29 PM
SWR#4

I'm afraid that there wasn't one category that I am not guilty of at one time or another. I am not saying that I do those things on every trip, but at certain times, I can act that way, (ie. speeding, getting frustrated with other drivers, etc.). I believe that it has alot to do with the mood I am in when I am driving, if I am in a good mood, no one bothers me on the road, (ie. when someone is driving slow in front of me, i would just slow down). However, if I am in a bad mood, or late, almost everything irritates me. I know this is not good, but what am I supposed to do, not drive when I'm having a bad day?

kuni99 02/23/00 2:11 PM
SWR: #5

I think I mostly relate to phase II, because I have children and have to think of their safety first, even before my own emotional state of mind. But there is one thing about phase I that I have to admit to feeling. It is being over critical about other people's driving habits. Also, I am very critical about careless pedestrians. Although I always hear the phrase, "the pedestrian always has the right of way", there are ones who take this beyond the level it should be.

kuni99 02/23/00 2:25 PM
OC #5

I think in general, we all have things to improve on in our driving. Our habits that are negative ones, can be worked on so that the safety of yourself and others around you can hopefully beat the odds in being involved in a car accident. If every single driver could put forth at least a little effort in improving their driving habits and repressing their emotional state while behind the wheel, it will become a domino effect in everyone giving and receiving respect and consideration while on the road. Maybe this is just wishful thinking, but maybe one day it could happen.

LDwiggins 02/25/00 2:30 PM
RC#6 to Kuni 99's OC #5

Kuni:

I agree with your opinion. I too feel one person can make a difference. I think the domino effect has an emotional equivalent called the warm and fuzzy feeling. In doing something considerate and/or kind for someone else they are more than likely to spread the feeling along. If we can spread hostility and anger I don't see why we can spread kindness. It takes grace in the face of anger to difuse it. I don't think it is wishful thinking that one day people could drive giving others respect and consideration. I do believe it will be a long time coming though. I hope that all of us can become examples of driving with emotional intelligence.

shizue 02/24/00 4:31 PM
SWR #6 Managing Anger Outbreaks

The techniques that were listed on the TEE cards were extremely helpful. While I was driving on the road this past week, I utilized the couting to ten and trying to think of reasons for why the other driver did what he or she did and they both worked. I found that my anger disipated really fast and I no longer felt that I needed to let vent my anger on any other innocent drivers out there on the road with me. I believe that if all the drivers could utilize at least one if not many of these anger outbreak startegies then there would be a significantly lower amount of violent incidents out there on the road. There really is no valid reason to let your anger get completely out of whack when your driving. It accomplishes nothing and will only serve to hurt others out there on the road with you.

allianic 02/24/00 8:20 PM
RE: SWR #6 Managing Anger Outbreaks

It's cool that the hints worked out for you while you were driving. I agree with you that if all drivers utilized the techniques the roads would be a lot safer. Drivers just need to remember to not let their emotions take over when they get into situations that may make them frustrated, scared, or upset. I also agree that there is no valid reason to let your emotions take over you so that you are blinded with anger. If everyone did that, the world would be a horrible place to live.

allianic 02/24/00 8:15 PM
SWR #6 - G13

The hints on how to manage anger in traffic are pretty interesting. I think that if you can remember and make it a point to do some of those things, then they should work pretty well. I would like to think that I could do those things easily, but I know that sometimes I get too caught up in my emotions and I would probably do something a little less constructive. But I have done some of those hints when I was angry about something other than driving, so I think that they should work pretty well with driving too. There have been times when I have been really irritated and upset with my little brother, but I just counted to ten slowly and I was able to control my temper. I think that that would work well if someone cut me off. I also give a sigh of relief whenever I almost get into an accident and I don't get upset, I am just happy that I am okay. I have never tried to make funny noises before, but I am sure that if I did I would end up laughing instead of being angry. That technique has worked with my boyfriend. If we argue, I ususally try to do something funny or make funny noises aqnd we both end up laughing instead of arguing. The rest of the hints seem like they would work as well. I just need to remember to try them out the next time another driver does something that might upset me or irritate me.

blinking 02/26/00 4:36 PM
OC #6

I agree. The idea that all these techniques are useful in everyday life is waranted and practical. Many times I have seen impatient people do outrageous things just because they can not wait a few moments. I do think that it is a product of the "push-button" lifestyle we have come to adopt. We are so used to getting things faster and faster, that when it comes time to wait a few moments, we tend to become grouchy and unreasonable. In effect, the more and more we can accept that not everthing is as fast as we expect it to be, the more and more these impatient feelings will diminish.

shanen 02/24/00 8:25 PM
SWR #5

I can relate to both phases. For phase one I notice that my affective self has a big influence on my actions. I don't usually have the feeling of needing to win but rather the feeling of offended. I make conscious efforts to drive safely and responsibly (thanks to this class) but found that when others don't appreciate my efforts it gets my blood boiling. For example I was letting a person into my lane and someone honked at me, I suppose to make me go instead of let the person in. I stared at that person through my rear view mirror and made a conscious effort to go slower. That day I was a contributor to road rage. I felt I experienced cognitive dissonance in that I wanted to be an "in-control" driver but my actions were otherwise.

In times like these I find it hard to be supportive and understanding to others. The only thing that I can think of that won't anger me more is to say, "they should take psy 409 and be a better driver". Unfortunately, there is a slimmer than slim chance that the person is thinking about improving their driving behaviors. We have to spread the word.

kelamuch 02/28/00 12:22 PM
RE: RC # 5

I can understand your feelings. I HATE when I do something nice and it goes unnoticed or in your case you were in a sense reprimanded for it. I mean how difficult was it for the driver behind you to wait those extra few seconds? It was hardly necessary for him to honk at you.

I also think your suggestion of making people take a class like Psy 409 is good, but at the same time you're right in saying that most people won't agree that they need it. I guess that we can at least gain something by knowing that we are learning not to add to the problem and hopefully our actions will rub off.

allianic 02/24/00 8:27 PM
OC#6 - G13

I think that the hints for managing anger could be really helpful. But I don't think it's enough to just tell people that they should try those hints. There should be classes that are offered to help drivers control thier emotions. If you just tell people to try those hints, they'll probably just end up forgetting about them. It would be like telling a kid to do something they've never done before without really teaching him/her how to do it. Maybe all drivers should be required to go through a class that teaches anger management before they can actually get their license. Some people might be able to just do it on their own, but I think that the majority of the people would need someone to help them and to urge them on. All people have different tempers too, so I really feel that it would be useful to have classes to help drivers, passengers, and pedestrians out.

isabel 02/25/00 2:02 PM
A definition for aggressiveness? (OC #6)

Well, the class was talking about coming up with a definition of aggressiveness. I think different people have different definitions for aggressiveness but I do think there is a line as to what is considered aggressive and what is not. I think the rules of the road apply. If anyone on the road did something that endanger another person's life, that to me is considered aggressive. For example, speeding and weaving in and out of roads. How about invasion of personal space, is that considered aggressive? I think it is a cultural thing as to what constitutes invasion of personal space. It is kind of hard to say because the definition of personal space varies with different people and cultures. I think it would probably be aggressive for the person who feels an invasion of personal space but it may not be for the person who does that. Anyway, I think Dr. James's definitions of aggressive driving such as passive aggression etc should serve as a guideline. I think sometimes the term itself already tells me a lot about the behavior whether it is good or not. To elaborate, "aggressive" is not a neutral word to me. It actually means something negative. I guess you can now see how I define aggressiveness and where I stand.

robsolmssen 02/28/00 12:04 PM
RE: A definition for aggressiveness? (OC #6)

I agree with you and your philosophy of aggression. I think that differednt people are effected in different ways, and it definately varies cross-culturally. I also feel, however, that in order to be a successful driver, one must maintain a certain amount of aggression. But if that aggression turns to passive aggression, then it is a bad thing.

iyang 03/14/00 9:54 PM
OC: RE: A definition for aggressiveness? (OC #6)

The American College Dictionary defines aggression as "the action of a state in violating by force the rights of another state, particularly its territorial rights". I agree with this definition. I feel someone is aggressive when she/he invades or violates my rights or space in order to meet their needs. There are individual, cultural, and social differences for defining what is considered as aggressive. For example, generally speaking, people living in cities are considered more aggressive than who living in countries. It is because aggressiveness is more accepted and sometimes is needed for people who live in busy cities than in laid back places. Also, there are gender differences in aggressiveness. Women are considered less aggressive than men. It is because there are social and cultural pressures on women to be more nurturing and passive. As I said, defining and perceiving aggressiveness differs from people to people and from places to places. Then, the point is, however it is different(whether it’s passive or active), aggression is the violation of personal space and it is one of the main causes of road rage.

isabel 02/25/00 12:35 PM
SWR #6- How to manage your outbreak of anger.

Well, I think most of DrDriving's hints are quite helpful and interesting and they certainly can apply to other aspects of life besides just driving. Sometimes when I am feeling bad, I just wait for a while for my emotions to calm down and my mind to clear up. Then, I will feel fine. Hence, I think the hint of slowly counting to ten is good. To further my point, sometimes, you just lose your mind so it's good to wait for sometime till you get your sensible mind back instead of acting out of a moment of strong emotions. You probably would not imagine yourself acting that way when you are more sensible. Let's take O.J Simpson's case for example, he killed his wife out of jealousy. If he could have waited and be more aware of his own feelings and emotions at that time and also be able to think of alternatives as to why his wife do certain things that he did not like, his wife could still be alive today. See what happens when people let their emotions take control over them. I think he certainly loves his wife dearly although his acts were brutal. He probably could not imagine himself acting so brutally when he was sober unless he is a psychopath. I think people are inherently nice and good and won't resort to such bad acts unless things really get to them. Many people deviate from social norms due to things beyond their control such as having an abusive family, being poor etc. But, everyone can learn to be emotionally intelligent. I think that is the most important thing for one to learn as it teaches us how to handle life, ourselves and other people. I know sometimes life is hard and things are not running smooth but if we have emotional intelligence, we are in control!

I think count your blessings is good because it makes you think of what you have instead of what you don't have; it makes you think about the good things in your life. That will make you feel good about yourself and your life instead of focusing on the negative aspects. Sometimes I do that. It is always better to forgive and forget because negative emotions are not good for ourselves.

-Making funny noises: Isn't there a saying that laughter is the best medicine? So, laugh more and you will be more happy.

-Use the Castanza technique: I am not sure if I do this, maybe unconsciously. I suppose that if you act the opposite of what you are actually feeling, it will make you feel that way. For example, if you are feeling sad and you act happy. I think you will become happy. I think it has to do with the self-fulfilling prophesy? If you think what you are, so will you be.

-Pretend you are from Hawaii and drive with Aloha: Yes I agree that the way you drive is contagious. Try to do the courtesy smiles and be polite and pleasant, I think you will be surprised by how many people who greet you back. I guess treat others the same you want to be treated.

-Think of alternative ways why someone does something: I think this is the most important of all and sometimes I do that. Many times, things may not be what you think it is or it may be. Even if it may be, it is always good to think positively instead of negatively because positive thinking helps you and negative ones don't.

-Develop an attitude of latitude: I think patience is a virtue and many things can be done if one is patient enough. Also, positive thinking is always better than negative thinking. It applies to other aspects of life as well. I think sometimes I do have this attitude but there is still a lot of room for improvement.

-Commit yourself to a Lifelong Program of Driver Self-improvement: I think this is important because keeping a driving log or diary helps one to monitor one's driving behaviors or styles so that one can be more aware of one's behaviors and then seek to improve them. It also shows a willingless to be a better driver. Commit means dedicate. I can't do that right now because I am not a driver yet but I will keep this in mind when I start to drive.

faylogna 02/25/00 2:01 PM
RE: SWR #6- RC

I like your positive outlook on people and on life. I too feel that people are good and it is when things get out of our control that we fall. In some ways I share your view in where you stated "many people deviate from social norms due to things beyond their control such as an abusive family, being poor, etc." However, I'll noticed recently that people who are being prosecuted for their crimes are using this as a way to have lighter sentences. The attorneys of these people who I would label criminals are now contesting in the court the fact that they were abused as a child, parents weren't around, and etc in order to have a lesser penalty. Why can't they just admit their crime and take responsibility for it. I just can not tolerate that a criminal will serve 10-15 years in prison and then be paroled to live in the communities again while a mother will live without his young son. It is heart-breaking and in-justice, but that's reality.

isabel 03/01/00 2:41 PM
RE: SWR #6- RC

Hi Faylogna, I totally understand what you are saying. I also agree with you that people should take responsiblity for their actions and not use their past as a justification for what they did. But, some people do get away from certain things. It is the same as rich and famous people such as O.J simpson getting away from his crimes. How would you explain that? I think that is not right. He should have a death sentence in my opinion since he has killed two people. Justice is not done but like you said what can we do? It is just something we have to accept as reality whether we like it or not, right or wrong. It is sad but true.

ry409 02/25/00 4:17 PM
RE: SWR #6- How to manage your outbreak of anger.(RC#6)

I think that you are absolutely right when you say that these are techniques which we can apply to many different situations. The O.J. Simpson case might be an example. I'm not sure if any of these techniques would have worked in his case seeing as how he is psychologically unable to process his emotions. There might be some underlying factors that you haven't yet considered but it's a good try. In any case I do feel that there are a lot of positive suggestions that can be attributed to daily like and not just to driving. On of the techniques is to think of the other person. This means that you put yourself in the other person's shoes and see how you would want to be treated by someone who is usually a strager. See that's the problem. Often time we react to people that you don't even know. Most of us would never lash out or have terrible thoughts about our family or friends. Why is it that when it come oto somplete strangers that we are so willing to see them as unworthy of our sympathy. So maybe as an amendment to this idea we could suggest that we put a familiar face on the next person we feel has violated our rights in some way and see if that brings out some kind of patients for another human being who is probably not so much different from you and me.

faylogna 02/25/00 1:35 PM
SWR#6: Techniques To Manage Anger

I definitely find the eigth techniques to be very interesting and helpful. Looking through the list, it seems to me that these are things that we (or I) place upon me as I go through my daily life. It's interesting how we can take some of the philosophies in life and relate it to driving. I don't think the techniques are very knew to anyone, because they are things that we constantly hear from people suggesting to one another to incorporate in their lives. Therefore, I personally feel that the strageties are great and easy to follow and remember. It is not something that we could easily disregard and forget. However, there are sometimes that we could tend to totally disregard it and let our emotions take the best out of us IF we don't take the time to listen our inner voice and say this is not the person that I am. I believe that each of us have the goodness in us and it is just disappointing when we hinder this quality. Take for example, I had an argument with my parents while driving to a party. Because I didn't like what they were saying I took my anger out by doing a foolish thing. I just totally let my emotions take over. I suddenly pass more on the gas and sped through the highway. My parents are now getting nervous and scared, whereas I just didn't care. I didn't think and take the time to care that I have just endangered my parents, where we could have been involve into an accidents. The positive alternative solution to our argument would have been I slowly count to ten, make funny noise, and use the castanza technique.

jamesy69 02/25/00 8:14 PM
RC: SWR#6: Techniques To Manage Anger

I think that even though the strategies for managing our anger may seem like common knowledge, I think it is necessary to constantly remind ourselves of them so that we can automatically use them when we become angry. I think it would be a good idea to post these strategies in our cars so we can quickly glance at them when we do not feel emotionally intelligent. There are many times where I have become angry while driving and simply forgotten the strategies that I had learned. By having the list in my car, it will be a reminder to me to use one of the strategies to calm myself down. This way, we not only remember the strategies for managing our anger but we also become safer drivers. Though these strategies seem easy enough to memorize, I don't think we should take them for granted. I think we have to constantly be aware of them and utilize them when the situations call for them.

iyang 03/22/00 12:45 AM
RC: SWR#6: Techniques To Manage Anger

As you said, I agree that some of these techniques are not unusual but we tend to forget them when facing stressful situations. Slowly counting ten, thinking of other reasons, or forgiving are all the things you would likely to say to someone if she/he is bursting with anger. But, when it comes to your turn, you forget that there are things that you can easily do to manage your anger. Why does this happen? For me, it’s because I’ve never really used those techniques even though I knew them. I’ve never really tried to stop my anger before it happened but instead I’ll get angry for a while and regret about it later. It might take awhile to break my old behavior but if I train myself to manage my anger by using those techniques, then I’m sure I’ll become a better manager of my own emotions one day.

holma 02/25/00 1:56 PM
SWR#1

I did not agree with any of the agressive statements listed in the tee cards. When I observed myself driving, I realized that I am not a very aggressive driver.I also realized that I rarely jump to conclusions about other drivers. I might think or say something like this; "What is this guy doing? What is his problem?", if someone is driving extremely slow for example. I noticed that I get annoyed with other drivers sometimes, but I usually think that he or she must have a reason for his or her action. They could also have made a mistake. I rarely think that someone does something simply because they want to make me upset. I rarely feel offended because I don't take things that happen on the road, personal. On the other hand, I can get irritated if people does not let me into their lane for example. I might make a comment like: "That person is so rude!" I never behave in a offending way when I drive. Sometimes I make mean comments about another driver who does something foolish, to myself or my passenger, but I never scream, gesticulate, or show signs to other drivers. I noticed that I feelt more sympathetic towards other drivers when the weather was bad, if it was raining heavily for example.I was thinking more of the fact that we are all in the same boat, and that we have to drive more carefully in bad weather conditions.

LDwiggins 02/25/00 2:05 PM
SWR #6 - Threestep Program

I usually walk to and from school, but Wednesday afternoon I was carrying more than my usual load and decided to take the bus home. The bus driver was headed out on its route and just took a slight left turn to head out towards University Avenue. The bus was stopped at about a 35 degree angle from the guard post when I noticed a driver who was driving out of the Sinclair parking lot area. The whole time the bus was stopped and waiting for a break in the traffic I observed this driver inching her car closer and closer to the bus. I was amazed because I wondered if she realized the bus required room in which to manuver onto the street. I felt myself getting irritated with her seemingly impatience and inconsiderateness. I had to acknowledge and search for why I was irritated, especially since I have been guilty of "inching" closer to cars at a stop light. I realized it was wrong of me to be so rash in my judgement of her actions when I have been guilty of doing it myself! It really is not easy to witness others errors and realize that you commit some of them too. I will try to keep in mind how I felt having someone "inching" toward me so that when I see myself doing it I will remember that if it bothered me it probably will bother the person in front of me too. Maybe in doing this I can modify this error of mine.

faylogna 02/25/00 2:19 PM
SWR#6-OP

Dr. Driving, I have a sugggestion that could also be included to the strategies for mananging anger. What about re-evaluating the event or what caused you to get angry. I feel that if a person was to think twice or re-think why he got angry in the first place then things will be much clearer and cause less madness. In other words, re-evaluating our feelings, actions, and thoughts can make a person have better perspectives of things in life.

LDwiggins 02/25/00 3:01 PM
OC#6-Freedom of expression

After reading though the newsgroups posting I was not surprised to find that people were more candit with their feelings. I am sure it is because these people don't know each other and they can be as frank and/or blunt as they feel they should be. I don't know about the rest of you, but I personally find vulgar positings to be peek into a person's emotional intelligence. This one guy cursed out this girl in his email for (to me) no justified reason. I can only image how he would be react on the road when angry if an email offering advice/suggestion elicted such a strong negative reaction.

I applaud all of you who express yourself completely. I don't feel we should be restricted in how we express our experiences. I realize that our choice of words and our definitions for these words differ. However, I do not feel this should result in us not writing what we feel or "toning down" what we write. We are all here sharing and I am learning that I am not alone in how I feel while driving. I do appreciate the tone in our coolboard postings far more than the newsgroups' postings.

Guerra 02/26/00 5:06 PM
re: OC#6-Freedom of expression (my oc#6)

I agree that some people get pretty crazy on those newsgroups. You should try a chat room some people get pretty damn upset. At least they usually have some people who oversee chat rooms. These overseers or whatever they are called have the power to either kick someone off or block their ability to telnet to that site. So this helps to control the level of vulgarity.

To tell you the truth on these chat rooms, I used to play a MUD, I had fun making people mad sometimes. I'm not trying to be an as*hole or anything. But when people are rude to me in the first place I purposely try to make them mad. I take it all as a joke and if they insult me I laugh, but even little insults make them go crazy. Then they start spamming the screen. You folks should try some of these chat rooms sometimes. Just don't get addicted. I know many people who live just to go on chat rooms.

isabel 03/01/00 3:13 PM
Freedom of expression (OC #7)

I used to go to chatrooms a lot but not much anymore. I really like the fact that I can express myself more freely on the internet than in real life. I am not sure if I was a different person there but I feel a lot more freedom just because you don't know who you are talking to. People don't really judge you on the basis of skin color and what you say or behave. I wish this can happen in real life too!
I could not get along with my previous roommates. They tend to form a judgement of who I am based on what I say. If I did the same thing on the internet, it probably won't be that much of a big deal but for them it is. It seems to me that one has to be more careful about what one say or do in real life. I wonder if that is taking away one's freedom of expression or just being who they are a bit. So, sometimes I miss the freedom and the unlimited horizons that the internet has granted me.

robsolmssen 03/16/00 12:09 PM
RE: Freedom of expression (OC #7)

I think that you are censoring yourself! If you noticed a change in how you acted on the internet, as apposed to real life, then you were definately limiting you freedom of expression. I think, however that you are the type of person that cares what other people think of you-which is a good thing! You might want to talk to those friends of yours though... who knows they might want to say the things that you are saying but not have enough courage to do so. My suggestion, for what it's worth, is to act exactly how YOU want to and not how others think you should act.

jamesy69 02/25/00 7:16 PM
SWR #6

I found the strategies for managing anger to be very useful, especially the ones that involved making animal noises and thinking the opposite of how you actually feel. Last Wednesday when me and my girlfriend were driving, the car ahead of me did not go when the traffic signal turned green. At first I waited patiently but then after a few seconds I gave a slight honk, just to let the other driver know the light had turned green. But to my surprise the car did not go! After a few more honks I started to make some monkey noises. My girlfriend looked at me with amazement and started laughing. After seeing her laugh I started to laugh because I knew she probably had no clue what I was doing. Also during this time I was thinking in my mind, "serenity now, serenity now." I was basically trying to calm myself when I felt my anger mounting. The car in front of me finally started to go when the light was yellow, so I had no time to make it through the intersection. It was actually pretty funny and me and my girlfriend laughed some more while waiting for the light to change again. These strategies really helped me that day, and hopefully they'll come in handy in future situations.

shizue 02/27/00 9:24 AM
RE: OC #6

I, myself, having tried making animal noises yet, however, after reading your experience with it and how well it worked to not only calm you down but make you laugh instead of getting angry, I'm totally willing to try it. This actually works a lot better than the other techniques because you not only control your temper, but it actually makes you kind of forget the situation you're in because you are so busy laughing at yourself! Other drivers on the road might also benefit from the animal sounds because they will probably hear you and laugh with you instead of getting angry as well!

jamesy69 02/25/00 7:35 PM
OC #6 New Traffic Camera's

I just heard recently that new traffic camera's will be installed to monitor traffic conditions. I think that this is a good idea because the public will be able to monitor the traffic from their T.V's or internet before venturing off onto the roads. I think that these camera's will help relieve some of the traffic problems on the highway because motorists will be able to decide whether or not to use a particular roadway or highway. Motorists now will be able to control some of their driving situations and be able to relieve themselves of the stresses involved with waiting in traffic. Hopefully with the new camera's, the aloha spirit will return in drivers of Hawaii.

Guerra 02/26/00 4:48 PM
rc #6 Traffic cameras

I didn't know that they were going to put in new traffic camera's so people could watch the road. I actually thought that they already had some cameras in place? I used to watch channel 52?, if I'm not mistaken and it shows the traffic on the freeway and certain high traffic roads. Is this the same thing that you are referring to?
I was just wondering. I do agree with you, if they have improved traffic cameras, then alot more hassle would be avoided. I use the radio to the same affect. When I am driving to work, I listen to the radio, so I know whether to take the freeway or just drive on the backroads. The only problem with this one is that it takes a while to hear a traffic report between all those songs. They should dedicate a station to just traffic reports and important informatio like that.

Guerra 02/26/00 4:52 PM
rc #6 Traffic cameras

I didn't know that they were going to put in new traffic camera's so people could watch the road. I actually thought that they already had some cameras in place? I used to watch channel 52?, if I'm not mistaken and it shows the traffic on the freeway and certain high traffic roads. Is this the same thing that you are referring to?
I was just wondering. I do agree with you, if they have improved traffic cameras, then alot more hassle would be avoided. I use the radio to the same affect. When I am driving to work, I listen to the radio, so I know whether to take the freeway or just drive on the backroads. The only problem with this one is that it takes a while to hear a traffic report between all those songs. They should dedicate a station to just traffic reports and important informatio like that.

kelamuch 02/28/00 12:38 PM
OC # 5

I thought I had also heard that they are going to start using those cameras to issue traffic citations to the vehicle's owner. Has anyone else heard this or am I mistaken? I think that this seems to be a good idea, but at the same time unfair to the owner. What if you weren't the one driving the car when it ran the red light or broke the speed limit? Now you're stuck with a traffic violation. I think this may also cause quite a bit of havock on the court system with people claiming they weren't driving, etc. I guess a simple solution would be not to let others drive your car, but that doesn't quite sit well with me for some reason. Has anyone else heard about this or am I worrying for nothing?

Sandee 03/06/00 11:57 AM
RE: OC #6 New Traffic Camera's (OC #6)

I really like the idea of traffic cameras also. Sometimes before I leave for school, I turn on the television to see how the traffic is flowing. From watching the traffic situation, I can make decisions on which road to take or even if I need to leave earlier.

blinking 02/26/00 4:11 PM
SWR #6

Dr. Driving's suggestions are excellent. I have already been using one of his techniques, and that is the "Castanza Method"...I repeat something calming until I calm down. I also like to count to ten, but I sometimes count too fast and have to keep counting to ten...an example was when my gilrfriend said something that made me mad while I was taking her to school. My initial urge was to gas the car and speed until I felt better, but then I thought about it and just mumbled "Count to ten....1..2...etc." a few times. It worked, and I felt better w/o speeding or driving recklessly. I also feel that the adjustments suggested must be made in everyday life, not just driving. Having patience with people you come across everyday is a virtue we can benefit from regardless of whether or not it's in a car.

ABumanglag 02/26/00 11:36 PM
RC#6: RE: SWR #6

I agree with you that the techniques from this week's exercises are applicable to situations outside of driving. I feel that learning to control our emotions on the road will allow us to control our emotions in the real world. To give you an example, I work as a salesman in a (top secret) store. I deal with a variety of customers almost every day, and I find that there are instances where you have to apply anger management techniques like those mentioned in this week's exercises. They really work to help diffuse any volatile situation. However, I think the real difficulty is that it is often difficult to be always aware of our emotions. I still find it hard for me, and I find occassions when I slip and fail to control my emotions. Nevertheless, I think that anger control has helped me in certain areas of my life.

Guerra 02/26/00 4:43 PM
swr #6

I have been trying Dr. Driving's techniques this past week and I really like them. I was surprised that they worked. It is pretty amazing that such simple techniques can work so well. For example counting to ten? It works pretty good. Also counting my blessings, forgiving and forgetting is pretty useful. The only problem I had with this one is the fact that I usually don't worry about how my friends and family would feel if I was late. I usually worry that the one I cut off or yell at will be a friend or relative. Now wouldn't that be embarassing. Sounds like a selfish reason, but it helps to calm me down. I actually do make funny noises I just do it in my own way. I call people names and make fun of them. It may sound like aggression, but this makes me laugh a lot. And this is the purpose of making funny noises, to laugh. So my way works pretty good too. I don't think I have the patience to try some of the other methods, such as the driving makeover. It would take too long and i'm pretty impatient.

Overall, these techniques are good and although all of them may not be suitable for you, at least one technique is going to assist you in being a better driver.

blinking 02/26/00 5:51 PM
rc#6

Pretty sound thinking. I do feel bad, because I overreacted at someone and they could turn out to be someone thatI know. The reason that they work is because they allow us to calm down and not to act impulsively. It forces us to break the cycle of reacting and immediately reacting. We should all try to incorporate this type of non-aggressive driving and coping.

Hatsumi 02/27/00 8:53 PM
RE: swr #6 (My RC #7)

I think you brought up a good point that not all methods are going to work for everyone. When giving advice, people tend to forget that every individual is different, even though they all tend to do similar things. Individuality is important and is part of what makes intelligent driving so difficult! :-)

ry409 03/01/00 12:14 PM
RE: swr #6 (My OC#7)

I understand that individuality is important. After all it is what makes us unique people but there are sets of rules that one must abide by if we are to live together in a society. There are certain laws that we must all live by. How would we all survive if we all did anything that we wanted in the name of individuality? If that were the case we could possibly apply that thinking to every crime that was committed. I know that might be going a little oveboard but you can get the jist of it. There are just somethings that we must all do together with no variation and no deviation, and I think that driving is one of them. If we all drive using a set of principles and with the driving mentality and psychology and Dr. James teaches us in his class there would be no trafffic or driving related issues. It's good to want to be able to express your personality but when there are lives in the balance it would probably be best if we left the self expression to bumper stickers.

holma 02/28/00 8:51 AM
(RC): swr #6

I think that it's great that you tried these exercises and discovered that they worked! The point with them is to give yourself time to calm down and to start thinking rationally again before you do something impulsively that you will regret later. It's true that not all exercises will work for everyone, but just pick the ones that fits you. Now remember to always use these techniques when you need to,and hopefully you will turn the use of them into a good habit!

isabel 03/21/00 6:31 PM
(RC #7) Re: swr #6

I agree that different people have different ways of coping with situations, emotions etc simply because people are different. One thing can work for one person but may not work for another. People also see things differently so one really cannot assume or expect that everyone thinks like you. However, I think most of the techniques are quite reasonable and sensible and should work for most people in general. I think they can also help to change one's mentality. I also think that one's mentality is very important because what you think really determines how you act. So, actually if one can change how one thinks, it can really change your life. If you think positively, everything will seem positive and vice versa.

ABumanglag 02/26/00 11:27 PM
SWR#6: Cures for Anger

I am glad to see that this week's exercises are more practical in nature. This week, I did not really have too many driving experiences in which I actually got upset. Therefore, to be honest, I was not really able to try all of the anger management techniques. However, I was able to try something similar to the "count to ten" method. Actually, I find that simply concentrating on my breathing works well enough for me. It's something I learned in my transpersonal psychology class that is basically similar to the count to ten method.

Yesterday (Friday), I was driving home from school. I was going at a decent speed in the left lane, when all of a sudden, another guy in a civic decides to enter my lane. Now, there is nothing wrong with that, but, the driver decides to slow down - which in turn forces me to slow down. This is one of the things that irritate me on the road, therefore, my initial reaction was to speed up and give the driver a piece of my mind. However, for some reason (maybe because I was tired), I decided to remain cool and just relax. Instead of thinking any further aggressive thoughts, I began to take several slow and focused deep breaths. I began to feel relaxed almost instantaneously, and the situation was under control. I was actually surprised that I was able to do this - my usual reaction would have been to change lane and pass the guy. However, focusing on my breathing took off some of the aggressive feelings that I was having -perhaps it just took my mind off of the situation. I guess that there really is validity in these alternatives to anger. Hopefully I won't have to, but if the need arises, I'll try to implement the other techniques next time I get angry on the road.

Hatsumi 02/27/00 8:42 PM
RE: SWR#6: Cures for Anger (My RC #6)

Hey, good for you that you were able to remain cool. When someone cuts in front of me and slows down, that tends to really get on my nerves, as well. It's one of the few things that I have a hard time shaking off. I think I'll have to try the breathing thing next time that happens to me. Congrats on maintaining your cool. :-)

robsolmssen 02/28/00 11:57 AM
RE: SWR#6: Cures for Anger

I definately think that it is a good thing to have a back-up plan if your original one fails. I agree that the breathing technique is a successful one. It definately helps to maintain balance and piece of mind.

LDwiggins 03/02/00 2:30 PM
RC#7:Cures for Anger

Hey Gyle:

I understand what you are saying about learning breathing from transpersonal class. I am glad you were able to "be in the moment" :0 and handle your anger so well. Prior to taking transpersonal, I handled my anger by motioning my hand in a wave to remind me to let my anger "roll" away. I am sure it looks ridiculous to other drivers on the road. Hey, maybe it may help them laugh and relieve their anger. :)

ABumanglag 02/26/00 11:43 PM
OC#6: The Argyle says...

This week, I thought about it, and I think I found another reason why I'm glad to be living in Hawaii. Granted there are occassional bad drivers on our roads, but I think we're still better off compared to certain parts of the world. I might be wrong, but this is my opinion. There are some areas of the world where the traffic situation is much worse compared to ours. Also, I think Hawaii is one of the few places where people actually wave to say thank you when you let them into your lane. For me, I find that gratifying, and it is one reason I am glad to be living in Hawaii!!!

melo1 02/27/00 11:00 PM
OC #6

Mr. Bumanglag is right about one thing. Driving in Hawaii is not as bad compared to driving in other states, or countries. In Hawaii, we still have many kind drivers that we should be all thankful for. And instead of pointing out the aggressive, undecisive...drivers out there , it is high time that we acknowledge the considerate drivers. But one difference I notice was that in the mainland when a driver realizes that the driver in back of him/her is more in a rush than him/her they move out of the way out of consideration. This common practice, in my opinion, is not a reaction towards tailgating.

tanthony 02/28/00 9:59 PM
OC-6

I guess you are right, this probably is one of the more pleasant places to drive. I am just thankful that there aren't a bunch of honkers here. Whenever I hear someone honk their horn, I get worried that they are honking at me. Am I doing something wrong? Is there something wrong with my car? Is it someone I know? They probably are honking at somebody else but for a while it makes me worry. If I was constantly hearing honking, I think I would get tied up in knots. I saw a commercial recently that was quite laughable. It was for some car, probably a Toyota or Honda. It was talking about how in Hawaii driving is different, I think they mentioned merging and rush hour, and showed a picture of swimming fish or something to represent what they were like here. I'm just wondering where they have been driving? Has anyone else seen that commercial?

holma 02/27/00 10:31 AM
SWR #2

When I tested myself on the top 10 offenses I got a pretty good result. I only did one or two of the offenses sometimes. The offenses I sometimes do, is speeding up to yellow and cutting in. My result was the same when my passenger graded me. As I mentioned before, I am a pretty calm driver, so my impatience seldom pushes me to violate the traffic rules. Since driving in the US is fairly new to me, I am particularly cautious and observant to the traffic rules and signs. I tend to feel a little insecure sometimes when I run into some traffic situation that is new to me,(some rules or procedures that we don't have in Sweden). It is much easier to drive during good weather conditions when I clearly can see the signs and the directions on the road.

holma 02/27/00 11:23 AM
SWR #3

I think it is really scary that a lot of drivers are so competitive on the road! Driving is really not a game! When I tested myself I found myself guilty of three things; I pay attention to which lane that is faster or slower, I notice if someone is acting pushy towards me, and I remember if someone prevents me from doing something. I did not pay attention at all to any of the other things on the list. I could care less about how many cars that I passed or that passed me, for example. I don't think that I am a very competitive driver, but there is something that I noticed annoys me. I get irritated if people are being unattentive and rude. I know that I should not let rude drivers get me into a bad mood, but they do. Another thing that I keep track of and remember, is if I make any mistakes during the ride. Is that is a good or a bad thing?

holma 02/27/00 11:44 AM
SWR #4

When I tested my road rage tendencies I got 7 or more NEVER answers and that was consistent with my passenger's answers. I guess that I am pretty much in control of my emotions. The things I sometimes do are; complaining about other drivers and being annoyed with other drivers. What I complain about and get annoyed with is if other drivers drive wrecklessly or if they are being rude and inconsiderate. I try to be friendly and considerate to other drivers so it is a little annoying when other drivers aren't. If someone does not let me into their lane when I need to get to the next exit for example. It makes me angry if some people are driving in a way that they put themselves and others in danger. OK, if they want to risk their own lives but they have no right to risk other people's lives! Some people, back home, do crazy passings on narrow roads with only one lane in either direction. They can pass another car when the sight is obstructed by a sharp turn for example. That is so stupid and dangerous! It is these kind of things that make me really angry on the road but I don't react to it, other than commenting or cursing about it to myself and my passenger.

holma 02/27/00 12:07 PM
SWR #5

I believe that the theory about "Driver's Three Fold Self: Phases 1 and 2" should be a good warning to ourselves! We need to recognize when we are in phase 1 because it is then we are most likely to make errors and end up in accidents. When I observed myself I found myself in phase 2 most of the time. The mere fact that I was paying attention to my attitude while driving probably helped me to stay in phase 2. When I am stressed out or in a bad mood I am more likely to end up in phase 1, especially if some incident triggers it. The trigger could be that someone is driving out right in front of me or if someone is honking when I try to be polite and let someone in my lane for example. Another trigger could be that my passenger is making rude comments. If these small things start to add up, I eventually find my affective self overwhelmed and feeling entitled act a certain way. That feeling leads my cognitive self to irrational thinking and incorrect conclusions. This in turn leads my sensori-motor self to experience physical stress and I start making errors that I might not be aware of. When I realize that I am heading this way I try to calm down and stop somewhere to have a snack or something to break the evil circle. I never got so worked up that I was unable to do that.

Sandee 03/06/00 11:26 AM
RE: SWR #5 (RC #5)

Just like you, I am usually a phase 2 driver but if I am upset or frustrated I can easily become a phase 1 driver. I really think of the idea of stopping and getting a snack is really good. Maybe I will try that next time when I feel as though I'm entering the phase 1 stage.

Hatsumi 02/27/00 8:39 PM
SWR #6 - Managing my Anger

As I read through the various methods to keeping my temper in check, I realized that I already do most of them. I try not to jump to conclusions about why someone acts or drives the way they do. I don't make funny noises in the car, but I do sing in the car a lot, which makes me happy and usually amuses the people around me, as well. Counting to ten doesn't work for me. It never did. I think I associate counting to ten with my mother being really upset with me for something, and that if I didn't shape up in those ten counts, then I'd really be in trouble. I don't want to feel like I'm being punished in any way in my car. That only makes traffic that much more stressful and upsetting. I almost always wave or shaka if someone lets me in or whatever. In fact (and this is somewhat counter productive) sometimes I actually get pissed off if I let someone in and they don't wave a thank-you at me. But then I just keep in mind that they probably weren't brought up with manners like I was and that makes me feel pretty damned good about myself.

melo1 02/27/00 10:49 PM
RC #6

I agree with the author of this comment. Every technique works differently for every person. Also, I have the same attitude when people do not acknowledge you when you let them onto your lane. I know that sounds a bit selfish or self-centered, but like the author said, everybody was brought up differently, therefore, I must accept or understand why certain people act differently from me.

robsolmssen 02/28/00 11:51 AM
RE: SWR #6 - Managing my Anger

One suggestion is to count to ten in a different language. This may sound a little lame but it accually does the job. It is almost always guarantied to take your mind off of the traffic, not to mention make you laugh at yourself.

ShaunnaM 02/29/00 11:55 AM
OC # 6

I really like the suggestion about counting to ten in a different language, that's a great way to take your mind off a potential problem. I also cringe when people don't wave or even acknowledge when I let them go, I thought it was a universal kindness and courtesy thing, yet people still don't do it. I guess what it is is that you have to be consious of other drivers on the road (defensively) but not really be consious of their driving personalities. Certain personalities conflict, that's where problems arise, if you stick to what's going on, and not worry about the peolple driving the other cars, it will make it alot easier to avoid situations that can be frustrating.

Hatsumi 02/27/00 8:45 PM
OC #6

I still can't believe it. I just finished going through all my notes for my newsgroups report, narrowing them down to what I'm going to use in the report itself. Everyone seems to know the "right" way to drive and it's always their way... No one listens to advice and everyone seems to think that whatever other people say is wrong. Where do people get off thinking that they must be the ultimate gurus in driving? I've been driving for 11 years and I don't think I know anything about it.

Marissa_ 03/03/00 10:16 PM
RE: Driving Gurus (RC)

It may seem like everyone knows the right way to drive, but his or her way of driving may not work for everyone. Perhaps within all the talk you may find something that works for you. For example, if one person says that listening to relaxing music on the road tames their aggressiveness, and another one says that counting to ten works best, you may totally disagree with them saying that when you take a sip of water it tames aggressiveness best. It’s okay. It may take some time until a person realizes that they aren’t the ultimate “driving gurus”. Then again, perhaps they were worse a year ago, and are only now thinking about trying to modify their behavior. Don’t let it cloud your thinking too much. “He who knows all, knows nothing.”

Hatsumi  02/27/00 8:51 PM
SWR #7

This three step program in behavior modification is an interesting one. It has certainly proven to be very useful for me. I consider myself to be a reasonably okay driver, but certainly not excellent. I make a lot of mistakes. I'm afraid to drive too fast or too slow. I'm afraid of changing lanes. Those are just two of my many errors. Acknowledging that I'm not perfect isn't that hard for me. Many things have happened in my life that have proven to me and those around me that I'm not perfect and that there's ALWAYS room for improvement. In my opinoin, anyone who thinks that they don't need to learn anything are the dumbest ones of all, but that's just a side note.

The second step, which was taking in stock in my not so great behavior, was relatively easy, as well. I kept a piece of paper in my glove compartment with different "offenses" written on it. AFTER I got to my destination, I'd just make little ticks under all the ones that I did. So, that way I'd know exactly what to work on.

The final step, change the behavior, is still going on and probably will continue to do so until I die or stop driving, whichever comes first. I honestly believe that learning to be a responsible driver is something that needs to be continually worked on and I hope to do that...

ry409 02/29/00 2:27 PM
RE: SWR #7 (RC#7)

I certainly agree with your comment about never stop learning. I think that it's a good principle to apply to all situations in our everyday lives.
There is one suggestion that I have for the way you evaluated yourself though. I know it's not always possible but I think that it is more accurate to have someone evaluating your driving as well as your own self-witnessing reports. From my own exeriences I've noticed that I'm not always aware of actions that I do during driving because they come as second nature to me I don't see them as being odities whereas someone else evaluating me would be able to produce an objective evaluation of my driving. It might surprise you to see a difference of opinion when it comes to your driving.

Marissa_ 03/03/00 9:54 PM
RE: SWR #7 (RC)

Having someone else evaluate your driving aside from yourself is a good idea, as ry409 also stated. At the end of the drive you can compare notes, and see what differences or similarities were noted. This would help to keep the evaluation from just being one sided. I think the passenger who is also participating in the evaluation may learn something about his or her own driving behavior and become a better driver too.

Hatsumi 02/27/00 8:55 PM
OC #7

I'm wondering about this calmness that everyone is advocating. I think it's a very good idea, so I'm not disputing it, but I do wonder about the fact that people are really good at being calm in one situation, but then blowing up in another just because it's okay. I know there are a lot of people who actually remain calm behind the wheel, but then totally lose it once they're out of their car. Is this really that much safer?

melo1 02/27/00 10:27 PM
SWR #6

When our emotions take over logic it is very difficult to contain that particular emotion, especially anger. When I am aggravated on the road, I have the tendency to retaliate, to let the other person know that he/she violated my driving philosophies. However, I am aware that this kind of attitude can lead to worse situations. Consequently, I try to be more patient and tolerant on the road. The way I deal with my anger is by taking a deep breath and counting to ten, complemented with calm, soothing music. This technique works the best out of the ones mentioned for me. Like any other skills, the ability to control one's anger takes practice and patience.

kelamuch 02/28/00 12:30 PM
RC #6

Counting to 10 also works well for me in lowering my anger on the road. For me it is effective because its easy and quick. It doesn't require learning any new skill and is not time consuming. Just learning to take those extra seconds has seemed to help me. I often find that I like the road trip much more when I am not bashing others. Sometimes music helps me to vent my frustrations as well. But I also find that music is not always an effective way to calm myself, so in comparison, I prefer the counting technique.

iyang 02/28/00 12:45 AM
SWR #4

From what I rated on the road rage test on myself, I have moderate road rage. Surprisingly though, my road rage level is at a dangerous level according to my friend’s rating. It was somewhat surprising because I didn’t think I was that bad. Yes, I get upset at other drivers who are inconsiderate and irresponsible. Also, I hate to be stuck in a traffic since my car doesn’t have an a/c. But, I never tailgate slow drivers, go through red lights, or drive drunk. What I’m saying is that I don’t drive aggressively to retaliate others even when I feel frustrated. But instead, I let my frustrations by talking to myself. I raise my voice and complain about the situations, but never yell at other drivers. I admit that I sometimes lose my control over my emotions but I don’t think I have road rage tendency. What do you think?

Marissa_ 03/21/00 8:56 PM
RE: SWR #4

Why don't you ask your friend what they do and do not like about your driving? Ask others what scares them. Their feedback will help you see what you do not see by merely observing yourself. If you can accept their comments and work on improving the areas that they feel can be modified, then you can gain a better understanding of yourself and be able to pass the handy lessons you learned to someone else.

holma 02/28/00 9:37 AM
SWR #6

When I tried the different anger management strategies there were some that worked better for me than others. I particularly liked: "forgive and forget", "drive with Aloha", and "finding alternative reasons to someone's behavior". I seldom get really angry, I get irritated and annoyed instead, so the "count to ten" technique for example is not very useful for me.I think a lot of how other drivers behave. Smiles and waves are really contagious. If someone is being friendly by letting me into their lane and giving me a smile and the shaka sign,I want to do the same thing and I'll be in a good mood for the rest of the day!

robsolmssen 03/16/00 12:00 PM
RE: SWR #6

I find it difficult to get mad at someone for the rest of the day just because they neglected to let you into the lane. I know when I drive I also experience the things that you were saying, but I think that I relate to all drivers in a generalized manner. I never get too happy or bumbed out. I think that by not letting other drivers get under your skin, in a positive or negative way, definately helps your overall emotional level on the road.

robsolmssen 02/28/00 11:05 AM
SWR#3 Seat belts and Location

I was recently driving on the North Shore, and I caught myself not wearing my seat belt. In town I always wear it. However, I think that because the driving environment is a bit more relaxed on the North Shore, I tend to feel safer. I know that this is a bad theory. It seems to me that on shorter trips I tend to not wear my seat belt. For example: when I am driving to the store-just down the road from my house, I find myself just going... without reaching for the strap. I decided that the only way to fix this problem is to put my belt on before I start the engine.

shanen 02/28/00 11:48 PM
RC #6: SWR#3 Seat belts and Location

I just scolded my sister for not buckling her baby up in her seat. Her reason for it was that they were just going up the street. I told her (yelled at her)that accidents can happen anywhere (putting it nicely). I was mad that she thought that she was untouchable. I was wondering, when do we feel that putting a belt on is necessary. Many times I put my seatbelt on as I'm going down the road, or when I'm a few hundred yards away. The reality is accidents can happen even if you're in your driveway. (It's rare but possible)Once you get moving faster and faster your chances greatly increase. I still need to practice what I preach. The idea of putting on the belt before the engine goes on is awesome. I should start doing that.

ShaunnaM 02/29/00 11:41 AM
RC # 5 to swr#6

I agree that it seems unnecessary to put on a seatbelt when it is a short trip or if your in the country, and I used to not wear one. However, that's where the problems come in, when I wasn't wearing a seatbelt "every once in a while", it soon became, "every time I went ot the store" then, "every short trip", then I would just forget, more and more often. I never even noticed that I hardly wore one until a friend asked me, "how come you don't wear a seatbelt?" That made me think more about it, and be more conscious to wear one. I try to put one on before I even start the car.

Marissa_ 03/01/00 6:29 PM
RE: Seat belts and Location (OC)

A chill went up my spine when I read that your sister did not buckle up her baby. So many what ifs run through my head on what could have happened, like what if someone had banged your sister’s car as she reversed out of her drive way? Babies move around a lot. The squirm. They squiggle. They do not keep still. The baby may distract the driver, and the lack of attention to the road may be disastrous. Seat belts are not mere decorations. Buckle up!

Marissa_ 03/01/00 7:03 PM
RE: SWR#3 Seat belts and Location (RC)

I WAS NOT WEARING A SEAT BELT. It was only a six to eight minute drive from the park down to my friend’s house. My friends and I had been on this road many times. I thought nothing could happen. This was like a routine drive.

We weren’t going fast. We were coming to a stop because of the red signal light shining ahead. Nothing could go wrong, right? Wrong! Out from nowhere a big 4x4 truck came barreling down the hill and rammed the car I was in. Wham! Like a wind-up toy car we shot forward; then, we came to an abrupt halt. I never saw it coming. The driver of the 4x4 truck wasn’t paying attention until it was too late.

I was a passenger in the back seat of a sedan. I was not wearing my seat belt. Upon impact I was thrown against the passenger seat in front of me. I am lucky to have not flown through the windshield. A simple strap around my lap could have prevented me from kissing the seat in front. I suffered from a sore back and major whiplash.

This all happened a couple years ago. I can still vividly remember the events. I now wear my seat belt both as a driver and as a passenger no matter how short or long the ride or drive is. I don’t drive away without buckling up or making sure my passengers are buckled in. As for the car I was in – the trunk was totaled, and the car could no longer be driven.

ShaunnaM 03/03/00 1:49 PM
RC 7

Aftr reading the above story, I was reminded of the very reason why I started wearing seatbelts. When I was young, the seatbelt law was not enforced as much as it is today (at least in MA) so my parents did not stress it as much - once we were older than 5, we were never strapped in. I can remeber one day in our old station wagon, I was standing in the middle of the back seat, and my mother was yelling at me to sit down, (as well as the four other kids in the car), and she got so fed up at us kids, she kept saying something bad could happen if we didn't sit down, she was wanring us...
The next thing I remember is this awful taste in my mouth and my head was pounding - and I was in the front seat, I had flown head first into the open ash tray - and I got a mouth full, I can still remember the awful taste.
What happened was, my mother had to stop short for something, because she was distracted by us kids, who, if we were strapped in, wouldn't have been jumping around and playing in the back seat. Luckily noone ever got severely hurt for us all, especially my mother, to learn an important message.

robsolmssen 02/28/00 11:32 AM
SWR#6

I was returning from Hawai'i Kai yesterday. I was taking the University exit, however I had a lot on my mind and I hadn't gotten over yet (I was still in the left lane). By the time I realized that I was going to miss the exit, there were too many cars in the lane next to me (coming onto the freeway's on-ramp). This just aggravated me further. But this time the aggravation triggered a memory of Dr. Driving's calming techniques. Instead of accellerating to beat the car to the exit, I slowed down and went in behind the car.

Marissa_ 03/03/00 10:29 PM
RE: SWR#6 (RC)

I think you just prevented a chain of road rage events from happening by slowing down and sliding into the next lane behind the car. How would you have felt had a person twisted their car in front of your car causing you to slam on your brakes? When I am aggravated I try not to aggravate others around me. I do not go out to punish others. Plan ahead. Safety first. Thanks for sharing.

robsolmssen 02/28/00 11:44 AM
SWR#5

Like some of the others in the class I have found myself being very aggressive at times, as well as being supportive and helpful too. However I think that the aggressive outways the supportive. I find myself driving aggressively/competitvely when there is a lot of traffic. It is almost like a game to me... try and see if you can outsmart the traffic -by recognizing the patterns and the flow of the traffic and beating everyone to the open spaces in the lanes. This is a bad thing to get into. The main reason is that it's impossible to do without being aggressive, or aggravated. Since I have been taking this class I have noticed that I haven't been playing the game as much, but really focusing on supporting the other drivers around me.

kelamuch 02/28/00 12:09 PM
SWR # 5

After reviewing the two phases of the Driver's Threefold Self, I would have to say that I am definitely stuck in the first phase. Fortunately, I think I'm past the affective self, but am pretty wedged between the cognitive self and the sensori-motor self. I tend to have extremely critical thoughts of other drivers. Fortunately, I am far from the point of acting out my aggressions by physically assaulting other drivers or giving them the finger, but I am rather vocal to my passengers. After contemplating these ideas I began to realize that I'm also projecting onto other drivers. I think I project my feelings of inadequacy as a driver onto others. I also notice that I am less likely to verbally bash another driver when I'm alone - a fact, which I feel supports my belief of projection. It is my opinion that when I have a passenger my state of mind changes and I assume that the passenger is judging my driving skills. I think that sometimes this self-consciousness instigates my verbal assaults on others in an attempt to hide my own lack of ability behind the wheel.

kelamuch 02/28/00 12:11 PM
SWR # 6

Managing my anger in traffic seems to be quite an ordeal. Several of the suggestions provided by the TEE card seem to common sense ideas that should be easy to adhere to, but in reality they aren't. Of all the suggestions provided by the TEE card I think the one that would be the most beneficial to me is taking the time to question a person's motives for their actions. I do this currently, but the difference is I usually just assume the person is an idiot. I must learn to modify this thinking and think of more realistic possibilities for the driving styles I encounter on the road. Even the simple task of counting to 10 seems like something that would help me. This seems to be the most simple and probably the most efficient in calming my erratic behavior. I think these simple techniques are the best because they don't require too much behavior modification but could greatly improve my mental state of mind and ultimately improve my driving ability.

Another idea that I like, but think would be too difficult to do would be keeping a driving record. It sounds like a very good idea in theory but I don't think that I would really be able to keep up with the task. I might do it for a few days if I were really diligent and forced myself to do it, but more than likely I would forget to do it.

tanthony 02/28/00 9:36 PM
RC-6

I'm sorry you have a tough time keeping your feelings under control. I'll bet before you took this class you really didn't mind that you automatically considered people idiots. Maybe you still don't. But anyway, none of the eight suggestions may really be right for you. I think it just comes down to making a concious effort not to let emotions take over, however you may make that happen. In those times when you are able to keep control over yourself, just make note of what you did. I didn't strongly relate to any of the suggestions but what I like to do is listen to music, stay relaxed, and if I do get angry I tell myself that it is not worth my time. Through these efforts even bumper to bumper traffic doesn't seem quite so bad anymore.

ShaunnaM 03/03/00 1:33 PM
OC # 6

I agree that, although the suggestions make sense, it is difficult to live by them and apply them in every day life. I wonder if, after having finished this class, will I stick with some of the techniques that I have learned or practiced. I'm sure some things will stick, but others will soon be forgotten. It's seems like too much effort to be constantly thinking about different steps and methods every time I get in the car.

tanthony 02/28/00 9:46 PM
SWR-6

I don't really relate much with the suggestions for driving better. They look like legitimate ways to control our emotions but they aren't my method. I think I've come to the point where I've kind of given up. I think this is a good thing. When someone does something silly or dangerous, it is a bit like I throw my hands in the air. There is really nothing I can do about it, so I just move on. I try to keep this easy going manner by listening to music and understanding that it is not worth my time and energy to get upset. Driving is much more pleasant when you just let things slide.

kuni99 02/29/00 5:30 PM
RE: RC#6

I think everyone has their own ways of dealing with their emotions and if someone has a way that works for them then I think it's really great. It seems like you have your emotionally driving under control and hopefully when other people read your posting, maybe they can incorporate this approach to their own driving.

shanen 02/28/00 11:31 PM
SWR #6

One of my favorite things to do was not listed here so I wanted to share with you guys what usually works for me to control my anger in traffic. When driving in traffic in the morning or afternoon. I like to listen to good Hawaiian music. For some reason my mind goes off the cars in front of me and I just end up singing in the car. (I try to stay aware of traffic situations though) As a whole I don't like rap music and most intense type music. Listening to Hawaiian music takes my mind off the stress and traffic and reminds me that I'm lucky to be in Hawaii.

If there is no good Hawaiian songs on the radio or I've overplayed my CD's I turn the radio station to I-94 in the morning. Those guys are hilarious. Laughing really takes my mind off being stuck in traffic. This relates to the "Make funny noises" hint to control anger. The natural feeling of a smile really helps to get my emotions back on the positive side.

I thought all of those ten ideas were good to control anger. I made a conscious effort to think of each of them when driving but realized that some of them didn't work for me. Understanding the "attitude of latitude" was too complex for me in high stress situations. Also, thinking about other people's actions or reasons didn't do much for me. This may be because I really don't care about why other people do things. I realized that most of my improvement will come from how I react to situations, so I don't focus on other's reasons for acting.

I think that the most important thing to do at all times is the last hint, "commit yourself to a lifetime of drier self-improvemnt." This conscious effort is the only sure-fire way of ever improving. We can't improve if don't know what to improve. So by looking at yourself and not at others as a problem that must be fixed. We have the greatest chance of bettering the traffic situation here in Hawaii.

Sandee 03/03/00 12:18 PM
RE: SWR #6 RC #6

shanen 02/28/00 11:38 PM
OC #6 (More on Traffic...)

I was just talking to people who went on a vacation to CAlifornia and Vegas. They were telling me that in LA traffic is bumper-to-bumper for miles and miles and miles. Its not just the 1-2 mile back-ups at the H1/H2 interchange, or the Middle STreet Merge, or the bottom of the Pali. during my vacation to SEattle, we were stuck in traffic coming back to Seattle from Vancouver and were stuck for 3 hours and only went a few miles. I was wishing I was back in Hawaii. Their traffic jams are miles and miles long. Aren't we lucky we live Hawaii. There are worse places to get stuck in traffic.

Marissa_ 03/01/00 8:39 PM
RE: (More on Traffic...) (RC)

Yes, traffic is bumper to bumper for hundreds of miles in LA, and sometimes one can be stuck in it for hours on end. How would you feel if you were stuck in 2 hours or more of traffic on your way to school or work in the morning? And on your way back home you get stuck in another 2 hours or more worth of traffic? That’s insane! How do they manage to stay calm? Some believe that it’s part of a normal work life. They must cope with it, and be cool. Traffic will only go slower if they complain.

shanen 03/05/00 10:05 PM
RE: (More on Traffic...) (RC)

That would be almost one third of the time that I am awake in a day. Have you been in that type of traffic before? Employers should give some type of "traffic reimbursement" for people who must go through that. I have good reason to believe that soon that type of traffic jam will happen here in Hawaii.

ry409 02/29/00 2:16 PM
SWR #7 Driving Personality Makeover

I drove to Hawaii Kai this weekend with these three Driving Personality Makeovers in mind. I first had to think of a bad habit that I had. It wasn't hard seeing as how I am almost always guilty of comitting this one when I'm driving on Kalanianole Hwy. My bad habit is that I always try to find the fastest lane to drivie in. This is something that I don't always so. It's just when I'm driving on this particular stretch of road I just have to always be moving. So the first thing that I did was acknowledge my problem. I alerted the passenger I had in the car with me and told her what my assignment was for this week. I think that she's getting used to evalutating my driving because whe does it even when it's not necessary for this class. The next step was to witness my own errors and transgressions. It didn't take long before I was changing lanes. My passenger alerted me to my bad habit and I turned back into my lane. That sounds like I could have an an accident but rest assured I did check again as I was returning to my own lane. So I witnessed it. I have to say that eventhough I was just talking about it and thinking about it I proceeded to do that same bad action. I didn't realize how diffucult this exercise was really going to be. On to the next step of behavior modification. I forced myself to follow this one driver all the way from Kalani High School to Lunalilo. It doesn't sound like it would be a difficult thing to do but I have to admit it was close to mental torture for me. The good thing is that I made it through. The funny thing that I learned from this exercise it that changing lanes doesn't necessarily get me to my destination any faster. For all of that increase in blood pressure and decrease in gas that it costs me to drive around what I deemed to be "slow drivers" it didn't take me a niticeably longer time to get to my destination.

shizue 02/29/00 9:36 PM
RC #7

I totally can empathize with you. I, too, am guilty at times of trying to be in the fastest lane. Especially when I'm trying to drive back home (in Manoa) which I swear has some of the slowest drivers in the world! Like you I also realized that I really didn't get to my destination that much faster and thus, it was pretty pointless to get so emotional distraught over the situation. I think it's great that your "bad habit" has now been somewhat modified and you realize that it really isn't helping you at all to keep changing lanes. I can't believe you actually managed to stay driving behind one person the whole time . . . I think I'm going to have to try that and see how that works for me too! This class makes you realize a lot of things, mostly that there are many myths that we have made up in our heads about driving that turn out to be really false when we sit back and analyze the situation without letting our emotions take hold.

shanen 04/22/00 12:34 AM
RC <extra>: SWR #7 Driving Personality Makeover

I find that being in a lane that is moving gives me the feeling of progress. I thought about it and progress seems to be some what of a strong motivator to me. Whether it may be progress in solving a problem, progress in completing a task, or progress in getting somewhere quicker, I like progress. So I feel the same way as you about finding the lane that moves. I don't know what your reason for doing it is. It may also be competition too. do you feel competitive with other drivers?

kuni99 02/29/00 5:27 PM
SWR#6

I think that the management techniques are a good way to change the way people drive. Although I try to drive without getting emotionally upset or frustrated at other drivers, sometimes I forget this and will end up with tension. I especially liked the develop an attitude of latitude approach. It brings me to really thinking about what our driving community could really be like if everyone put some effort into controlling their emotions while driving.

kuni99 02/29/00 5:33 PM
OC#6

I think that in general, it is very difficult for people to avoid emotional driving because we are all human. When things happen to us, we almost always take things personally, even in driving, when another driver cuts us off, we tend to think that the other driver did it to spite us. Hopefully in the future, more people will adapt traffic emotions education into their driving lifestyle.

shizue 03/01/00 12:57 PM
SWR #7

One of the bad habits that I often have when driving is the need to get in front of other drivers who i feel are just going too slow. The first thing I did was to acknowledge that indeed this is a problem and realize that my actions were making the roads much more dangerous because I tend to change lanes excessively to overtake the other drivers. This past week as I was out on the road, I did what Ryan did, and attempted to just stay behind one driver no matter what speed he or she went out. I found that it really wasn't all that bad. The only real thing that was making the situation so horrible was my emotional reaction to it, which was extremely useless and unnecessary. Most people do drive at least at speed limit and it isn't going to take me that much longer to get from my house to work even if I follow them all.

allianic 03/01/00 3:59 PM
RE: SWR #7

I also have the same habit. I get really frustrated when I am behind someone who id driving too slow. (They're like going 15mph in a 35 mph zone) =( I think that I should also try to stay behind a certain driver no matter how slow they are going. (Unless I realy need to be somewhere in a hurry). I think that I will also find out that it is just my emotional intelligence that makes me become frustrated with slow drivers and not the drivers themselves. I agree that people becoming extremely irritated or frustrated with other drivers just because of the speed they are going is useless and unnecessary. Hopefully one day everyone who drives will also understand that.

Marissa_ 03/01/00 6:15 PM
RE: SWR #7 (RC)

As I read your posting it made me realize how I behaved as a driver in the past. I used to feel an urge to get ahead of the slower car. The car would usually be traveling below the posted speed limit and I was eager to be on my way. I often wondered why the person was driving so slowly. Now I just relax, and enjoy the ride. There’s no need to rush.

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