This is Part4

kelamuch 03/04/00 4:18 PM
RC # 7

I agree that sometimes driving behind people can feel like you're not moving at all and when you change lanes and increase your speed, even if only by a few miles per hour, sometimes it seems to make a huge difference. I try to avoid changing in and out of lanes unless I absolutely can't take it. But I seem to be able to relate to your emotional state when you can't change lanes. I feel like that quite often while driving, but about different things. I usually get more annoyed with people turning in front of me or blocking the intersections as opposed to driving behind a slow mover. At least we're taking this class and learning how to deal with our emotions!!! :o)

melo1 03/05/00 1:39 AM
RC #7

it's very difficult for me to stay behind a slow driver, not unless it's at nite and i'm in no rush. but besides those situations, i would usually overtake the person. i really don't see any harm in it, as long as i am cautious and aware of the other cars around me. and besides, slow drivers are also causes of accidents, not to mention traffic.

isabel 03/21/00 6:28 PM
(SWR #7) How to do a driving personality makeover

TEE card #15C2.

I think the three steps are very helpful and useful in changing one's driving habits. Since I don't drive, I can't really try them out. I do think that it is necessary to recognize one's errors before one can seek to correct them or else one will always think that one is right. This also applies to other areas of life too. Now, the next step is really trying to find out how bad one's driving behavior is or so called "witness your own errors and transgressions". I also think that many of one's driving habits are unconscious because they have been transmitted from previous generations and has become one's second nature. I suppose one probably has never been told that those habits are wrong because they are a cultural norm. I also think that the media portrayal of many things are not right such as the ideas of sex, beauty and of course driving. The media really isn't considering the best interest of the audience. All they are concerned about is how to make a profit. That really contributes to the many things we see happening in the society today such as bad driving. The last step is to modify one's behavior one step at a time and that is to be consciously aware of one's driving habits and behaviors. As with everything else in life, all these need practice, patience and the willingness to do them right.

allianic 03/01/00 3:55 PM
SWR #7 - G13

I am one of those people that think of themselves as an excellent driver. If something bad happens, it is always the other persons fault and not my own. I guess that I have never really looked at what my weaknesses are while driving, which is probably why I think of myself as an excellent driver. I think that if I really pay attention to what I do when I drive, I will find a few things that I need to improve on. There are some times when I realize that I am being aggressive or irrational when I drive. As soon as i realize what I am doing, I try to stop and to just relax and think about something else. The tee card says that we tend to drive like our parents. I disagree with that statement because I a make it a point to not drive like my parents. My mom drives too jerky and I always end up getting sick in the car and my dad drives too slow. I drive the complete opposite of my parents. I try to drive a ssmooth as possible without going too slow or too fast. I feel that as soon as I become aware of the bad habit that I have while driving, I will be able to modify them all. I don't think that it will be easy to modify those behaviors because I have been driving the same way for years. But I think that with a little patience and persistence, I can modify my bad habits and become a better driver.

allianic 03/01/00 4:05 PM
OC #7

I think that one of the hardest steps of a Driving Personality Makeover would be for people to actually acknowledge the way they drive. I know of a lot of people that would be really insulted if anyone even brought up the issue of their driving abilities. I think that all people do not want to be thought of as a bad driver. In fact, I think that people never really want to be thought of as bad in anything. So if someone accused them of being an aggressive driver, most people would probably not believe it. They'd probably just blame the other drivers and say that it is because other people don't know how to drive. Noone ever wants to take responsibility for their own actions. I think that if people can feel more comfortable analyzing themselves, doing a driving personality makeover would be much easier and more successful.

ShaunnaM 03/09/00 11:51 PM
RE: OC #7

I agree with this OC that says the worst step to driving personality make-overs is acknowledgement. I know that I would judge someone else as a bad driver fater than I would see myself. That is why I think the best step to becoming a better driver is to realize that they need to do just that. I beleive that most people feel that driving technique and ability come with years and experience. I think that a person can drive for 50 years and still be a bad driver, can still exhibit road rage, as well as many other driving behaviors that should be fixed. I think that this whole concept of driving psychology is just being born, and will be the beginning of something that can make the roads safer. I feel that driver's traing classes should teach the techniques that we are discussing in these classes. Just knowing about the three domains of driving psychology can help a person be aware of thier own driving behaviors which can lead to self-beterment.

faylogna 03/10/00 12:07 PM
OC#7

I agree with what you are saying. From what I have noticed through out the years, many people have the hardest time to actually admit their mistakes. Especially, they don't want anyone to point out what it is. They probably know it but are in denial to admit that there is a problem. The term "problem" alone poses a negative concept. Coud it be in our nature? I don't really know the answer. However, I think the greatest challenge is life is to accept that you are wrong and try to make up for it.

kelamuch 03/01/00 9:04 PM
SWR # 7

My driving makeover really began with SWR #4 in which another person rates your driving. I was pretty shocked to realize that I am verbally aggressive behind the wheel. This was my first realization that I had a problem. I have made a conscious effort to remain calm and more aware of the situation rather than just blow up. For me this seems to be the biggest problem. I think it puts me in a negative mood as well as my passengers. I have been trying to maintain an awareness of other drivers and the situation, but it’s a little difficult at times. The good thing is that I am trying. And my sister, the person who pointed out this bad behavior in SWR #4, noticed it yesterday while we were driving home. At an intersection a car made a right turn which situated him right in front of me. He then proceeded to slow down to approximately 14 miles an hour in a 35-MPH area. There were no cars behind me and I wondered why this person felt the need to enter my lane so immediately and then slow down. I simply stated, “Hmm…I wonder what this person is doing,” rather than my usual “What the #$%@ is this idiot doing?” It was at this point that my sister commented that she has noticed I seem to be trying to modify my driving behavior. I know that I am far from perfect but I am pretty proud of my start!

Marissa_ 03/03/00 9:41 PM
RE: SWR # 7 (OC)

Well done! I am glad to hear you are on your way to becoming a better driver. It helps to know what others think of the way we drive so we can try to change our bad habits. Miracles do not happen over night. Take it one step at a time.

shizue 03/04/00 10:46 AM
OC # 7

The great thing about your driving personality makeover is not only that you, yourself are a much safer driver and don't upset others on the road or your passengers, but also you are modeling great behavior for your sister. Hopefully, by seeing what a change your driving behavior has gone through and realizing that it is better to be more calm and in control, she too will want to take on those good driving traits. We sometimes don't realize what an influence our actions and behaviors have on others, especially those who look up to us and try to model our behaviors.

bliniking 03/04/00 4:41 PM
rc#7

It is very encouraging to hear that someone else is making gains in an area that I myself could use some help in. I tend to shovel out a few colorful metaphors at some drivers, and I do it to release some agression. I do realize that it is not really a comfortable situation for my passenger(s), so I try to keep the metaphors clean...if anything. In my humble opinion, if it helps to restrain and diminish your anger and hostile feelings, then do say what you want. It is better to be a calm driver than a pent up one.

jamesy69 03/04/00 4:58 PM
RE: SWR # 7 (RC)

I am very happy for your recent success and I hope you continue in your efforts in becoming a better driver. I know that changing a behavior is a hard thing to do because the behavior we want to change has become automatic in our everyday life. I think the key in changing our behavior is consistency. We can't just keep on changing our behavior on the way we feel that particular day but have to stick with a behavior that we want to portray everyday. I think this aspect is the hardest for me. Somedays I'll be really conscious of my driving and other days I could care less. I think once I develop a system where I will always be conscious of my behaviors while I'm driving will I see the greatest results. By doing this, not only do I create a safer environment for myself but for others as well.

LDwiggins 03/02/00 3:29 PM
Tee # 30C6

-- Larry Lemm honked at J.C. Edgar King's car because it was stopped
in the middle of 1300 West. That honk led to an altercation that has
left Lemm partly disabled and the elderly King with a criminal
conviction on his otherwise clean record. The altercation occurred
Labor Day weekend 1995, and Lemm is still fighting with King. ``You
wonder when he's going to take responsibility for it,'' said Lemm, who
has sued for damages in the incident, which left him with two injured
knees requiring surgery.

This scenario resulting from road rage demonstates once again the damage that can come from giving into our anger. This situation could have been avoided if Lemm did not honk his horn at King for being stopped. Lemm could have been practiced charitable thought with King's circumstance(s) that might have explained his being stopped. King could have let the honking go or at least tried to explain the situtation to Lemm instead of having an altercation. This report is an example of emotional high jacking where one heated event led to another heated event and ultimately to injury. This event took place back in 1995 and the two are still fighting. Lemm is suing King for the injury. I was surprised to read that Lemm wants King to take responsibility, however, he has failed to take responsibility of his action that inititated this situation. I am sure that Lemm feels his honking of the horn was minor compared to King's reaction, however it was this simple act (honking) that brought on this domino effect of emotion. This anger is still building and will continue to build until both persons stop "acting out" towards each other (Lemm's suing and wanting King to take responsibility).

This ties into the Goleman's Emotional Intelligence chapter on Passion's Slave (p 56-77) and on Transpersonal's practice of being in the moment. Everything we do in this moment gives rise to the next moment, therefore it is important that we are aware of our emotions in order to avoid the triggering of emotional intelligence.

Imagine Lemm's life would be without injury and medical bills if he hadn't honked his horn and given into the altercation with King. King's record would not be tarnished and he would not be sued if he had not let the horn honking erupt into the altercation.

Sandee 03/03/00 12:10 PM
SWR #5

After reviewing the Driver's three fold self, I would like to think of my self as fitting into Phase 2. Although, I must admit that I have my days as a Phase 1 driver. I find myself to be in a Phase 1 stage when I am emotionally frustrated at something. I guess you could say that I take out my frustration on my driving behavior. But compared to my teenage years, I feel that I have become a better driver. I feel that the experience that I gained from driving has made me into a wiser driver.

Marissa_ 03/03/00 8:17 PM
RE: SWR #5 (RC)

You are not alone. I do not think a person has never experienced being a Phase 1 driver. All drivers’ must have experienced that phase at least once in their life. When you take your frustration out on your driving what do you do? How are you emotionally frustrated? What is your pet peeve? In any case, I am glad you are on your way to becoming a better driver.

LDwiggins 03/03/00 9:43 PM
OC #7 - Road Rage Rampage

I heard the news last night about a road rage encounter that resulted in the a different type of altercation. One of the persons involved reached into the other driver's car, pulled his/her dog out and threw it into traffic. The dog was killed by oncoming cars. I tried to locate more information from KITV's webpage, but it was not available in their archive.

My opinion is one that is obvious. Road Rage is not only on an incline I feel it is out of control. I know many people who view do not view their pets as pets. Many feel that they are family members. I wonder how far people will go and how much longer our society will allow us to go in how we behave when we give into road rage. I looked at the ASPCA to see how they would handle this. They have a "Felony Animal Cruelty" for "aggravated cruelty", but it did not say what type of punishment(if any) doing this carries. The dog owner will probably resort to filing a lawsuit. In any case this is a sad situation and unfortunately I don't see relief coming anytime soon.

shanen 03/05/00 9:56 PM
RC #7: OC #7 - Road Rage Rampage

Wow, that is a very interesting story. I have a feeling that not much will happen to the offender. This type of crimes usually find their way through the cracks of the system and the offender usually gets off with less than a slap on the wrist. I myself see it as a murder. Pets aren't just pets to me. They are a part of my family. I worry about my dog being at home by herself and I can imagine that there are those who have stronger feelings that me. They are trully part of families. At times even treated like a human. I know that we as a species, separate ourselves from other species and sadly I don't think that will change in the near future. So the courts will not treat this as they would a murder or assault of a human. As for the offender in this case, they need serious help. I agree that this is a sad and even sick situation and it seems there will be o justice to this crime.

tanthony 03/06/00 1:07 PM
OC-7

That is a horrible story about the dog. I had not heard anything about that. It is just shocking to me that someone would do something like that. I would have felt awful being someone who hit the dog too. I always slow down for birds to get out of the way but I once hit one that flew right in front of my car and it ruined my day. People are out of control. What will someone do next, grab someone's baby out of a car and throw it into traffic? It is frightening that these kinds of situations exist and make me happy that I am not an angry, confrontational driver who could somehow provoke an occurence like this happening to me.

ABumanglag 03/06/00 4:29 PM
OC #7 - Re: Road Rage Rampage

Wow, this was the first time I heard of this happening!!! Frankly, I find it really ridiculous. It goes to show how really out of control road rage is. Regardless of the situation, my opinion is that road rage should never go this far. Do we have to get dogs involved too? I hope that guy gets some kind of penalty for what he did - after all, it is probably the most cruel thing I have ever heard of. Maybe next time, somebody should pull him from his car and toss him on the freeway.

Guerra 03/06/00 9:47 PM
Re: Road Rage Rampage (RC #7)

isabel 03/21/00 6:26 PM
(OC #8) Re: OC #7 Road Rage Rampage

This is something new to me. I don't think the dog should even be involved in someone else's road rage. Poor dog, another innocent victim. Fortunately it is not another human being instead. I think if someone can do this to a dog, s/he can do that to human beings too. Maybe the person does not have any feelings for the dog and does not see its importance. I think they should at least stop to think what if it is their own dog? They surely won't murder their own dogs? (Of course I once did learn of someone actually throwing a cat from a high rise building in Singapore but I was not sure if that was the person's dog or not) But, this person was a small child so I can understand. But an adult?? I would think this person have some kind of problems and need some help, you know. I think that behavior is really cruel. What have our society become? Have people all lost control of themselves? I think it is kind of serious and people should really think about it. Just my opinion.

Sandee 03/08/00 11:17 AM
RE: OC #7 - Road Rage Rampage (OC #7)

I was really shocked when I heard about about the dog being thrown out of the car to oncoming traffic. What's up with these people? I would be so devastated if this happened to me. My dog is pretty big soI wouldn't think anybody would want to even try to grab him. Like many of you, I feel as though my dog is part of our family. It would feel like some idiot grabbing my brother out of the car and throwing him into oncoming traffic. Do people think that pets don't have any feelings? Are people nowadays that incensitive? Just thinking about this news makes me so angry!

jamesy69 03/04/00 12:08 PM
OC #7 Buckle Up!

I just recently heard on the news of a new law proposal that would require passengers sitting in the back seat to buckle up. I thought this was a good idea but was surprised to see that other people seemed to dislike the idea. One individual that was interviewed stated that he was a mature young adult and did not have to buckle up. After hearing that statement I thought to myself, "what does maturity have to do with wearing a seat bealt?" Being mature has nothing to do with saving your life. If you're 1yrs old or 45yrs old, getting hit by another car without your seat belt is probably going to get you seriously injured or even killed. Why even put your life at risk when you can simply put on a seat belt that would reduce your chances of injury in a accident? Is it that much of a inconvience? It really does not make sense to me. I think this would be a good law because I really believe buckling up could save lives. What do you think?

kelamuch 03/04/00 4:03 PM
OC #7

Well I think that does sound like a good idea -- requiring all passengers to use seatbelts. People are always a bit resistant to being forced to do anything, even if it is beneficial. When the first seatbelt law went into effect I think many people were resistant to it too, but gradually it became second nature. When I get into a car now one of the first things I do is put my seatbelt on.

As for those people who are "too mature" to wear a seatbelt, there wouldn't really be any way for the authorities to determine whether or not you are wearing the lapbelt, so I guess you wouldn't have to. But wouldn't you rather trade that so-called maturity for your life?

melo1 03/05/00 1:47 AM
OC #7

i also agree with the notion of having all passengers use a seatbelt. it may seem restraning in the beginning, but like everything else, you get used to it. what is feeling restrained when it can save your life? accidents do not distinguish back passengers from front passengers - everyone is taking a chance when they get into a car. wouldn't you want to be on the safer side. and for the "mature" people who do not agree with this, all i can say is that they have just proven their immaturity and ignorance.

holma 03/05/00 11:48 AM
( OC #7) Buckle Up!

Of course we should have a law requiring the back seat passengers to wear seatbelts! In case of a collision, the people in the backseat will, if they're not wearing seat belts, get thrown forward with an enormous force, crushing the buckled up people in the front seat. We've had that law in Sweden for a long time and the advertisments supporting that law stated: "Don't drive around with elephants in your backseat!"

isabel 03/21/00 6:25 PM
(Extra OC #3) Re: OC #7 Buckle up!

I agree. I think that's great that there is a law requiring people in the back seats to buckle up. It lets people know how important one's life is. I also think that what does maturity has to do with buckling up or not. You will get killed no matter how matured you are if you get into an accident without a seat belt that could have prevented the accident. The law will only help to protect one's life. It's good to hear that the law makers are concerned about our safety and our lives and are doing something about it; there are some law makers out there who don't do their jobs.

blinking 03/04/00 4:16 PM
swr#7

holma 03/05/00 11:35 AM
(RC #7):RE: swr#7

That's great that you are making a conscious effort to not tailgate others! It is, as you say, very dangerous and stupid to drive too close to the car in front of you. Just the fact of bringing attention to that, will help you to quit doing it. A lot of the things we do are done unconsciously, so the only way to change them is to bring attention to them. It is also good that you slow down and let the tailgating car behind you, pass, instead of letting yourself getting annoyed or anxious about it.

Sandee 03/06/00 11:37 AM
RE: swr#7 (RC #7)

Evaluating your tendency to tailgate is a really great step that you took. (One that I should do too.) Tailgating is such a dangerous driving pattern but many of us tailgate at one time or another. Why, I really don't know. Tailgating does not make the situation better and it doesn't make me feel better but I catch myself doing from time to time. Being considerate of other driver's feelings is a very important thing that all drivers should think about. I just think that there are too many selfish drivers out on the road!

robsolmssen 03/14/00 1:27 PM
RE: swr#7

One way that helps me stay off the person in front of me is to think about who is at fault if I hit them. I just think about my driving record and how an accident will hurt my insurance. This usually does the trick

blinking 03/04/00 5:16 PM
oc#7

Does anyone think that there is a corelation b/w the type of car a person drives and their driving style. For example, does someone driving a 4x4 or sports car drive more aggressively, where as someone driving a coupe is more conservative. Does the driver's mentality reflect in the type of vehicle they drive, or does the type of car allow for the expression of their mentality?

jamesy69 03/04/00 5:23 PM
SWR#7 Keeping it Consistent

When I observed my driving this past week I found that it was easy to acknowledge my weaknesses and find a solution that would change my behavior. The hard part was keeping the modified behavior consistent with my everyday driving and not just the days that I'm consciously trying to be a good driver. I think everyone has the basic ideas of what good driving is, but do not always incorporate it in their driving. If people were more consistent in driving responsibly, more people in turn would be better drivers. Too many times have I fallen to my old habits of tailgating and speeding just because I let my mind become lazy and enjoyed the behaviors that were automatic and comfortable to me. Using good judgement and emotional intelligence is not easy and requires a lot of self control. I guess thats why it is so hard to be good driver. I know that I have to be constantly watching my behaviors when I drive in order to successfully achieve my goal of becoming a safer driver.

melo1 03/05/00 1:31 AM
SWR #7

Alright, I will have to admit that there are times I think that I am a good driver - that when things go wrong, my fingers point to the other driver. Gradually, I have learned otherwise. I have scrutinized my own driving philosophies and realize that there are changes that have to be made. One of these, would be my temper on the road. I find myself hot-headed, especially during traffic hours. I get really aggravated when someone cuts me off without giving me ample space, which leads to an abrupt break on my part. Also, another factor to my aggravation is having to be in back of a left lane bandit. I am aware that everybody does things differently and this is why I am gradually being more patient and tolerant on the road. Hopefully this gradual change in my driving philosphy will be a successful one.

shanen 03/05/00 10:28 PM
SWR #7

I thought that it would be the most beneficial to everyone else and myself if I did a "makeover" on my speeding behaviors. I was thinking back to one of my first posts in which I said that I didn't speed. Boy was I wrong. I usually go about 10-15 mph over the limit on the freeways. I found that I mostly speed when there is flowing traffic, and a decent amount of cars on the road. By this I mean that the freeways aren't bare like you would find at 1:00am. Usually a time for this typw of flowing traffic is about 8:00pm or 12:00 noon. I think the reason that I speed in these situations is bscause I'm glad that I'm not in stop and go traffic and I should take advantage of the flow to get to my destination early. That would make me feel good. I also feel that it would be harder for a cop who may be tagging speeders to focus on me. If it was at night with no one around the cop could spot me coming a mile away. Also I can use the cues of the cars in front to detect if a cop may be lurking around any corners. I guess one of my main concerns is getting a ticket. This is what seems to drive my behavior.

I tried to modify my behavior recently by being aware of my speeding and then by repeating to myself that I may someone. I also try to make myself realize that getting there early is not worth a ticket or injury. I'm trying anything and everything to be conscious of my speeding. I'll keep everyone posted on which works best for me.

tanthony 03/06/00 12:56 PM
RC-7

Good luck on your makeover and try not to feel guilty if you do not always succeed. As you probably know, your little speeding habit is not uncommon. At times I find myself doing the same thing too. For me, I think some of it has to do with having lived on the mainland for a little while and driving on freeways where the speed limit was 70 mph. Now I'm back and 50 is the top speed and it seems so slow. Just yesterday my boyfriend told me that as far as he is concerned, the speed limit is 10 to 15 mph above the posted speed limit. I didn't feel like arguing with him at the time but I think we all know this is certainly not true. So you are not alone out there. I think it just comes down to the way we think. We need to accept that the speed limit is there to be followed. There must be a good reason that they chose it, right? Well I hope so.

shanen 03/05/00 10:39 PM
OC #7

When I first read the "Hints on How to Manage Your Outbreak of Anger in Traffic" I noticed that I use some of the techniques that are listed already. However, I did not realize how often I use those techniques to try to stay calm in situations where I am very upset while driving. I would like to think of myself as a calm and non aggressive driver but I can't say that this is always true. I must admit there are times when my frustrations take over my emotions. And by then, I am too angry to even think about these techniques to try to calm me down. I should be more of a considerated driver. Perhaps other drivers may think of me as a jerk or an idiot driver too sometimes.

tanthony 03/06/00 12:41 PM
SWR-7

I do tend to think of myself as a good driver. Not necessarily because I don't make mistakes but because I try not to be a risk taker and I try to drive in a responsible way. I do acknowledge that I am not always the best driver in the world. I am pretty concious of the mistakes that I make and wonder why I did them. I have accidentally turned down a one way street going in the opposite direction. This could be construed as being pretty idiotic but I just made a mistake, I don't do it all the time. So I try to recognize that other people are just making mistakes too. I think I was pretty lucky that I had decent driving role models for parents. They might show mild irritation occasionally but were usually laid back. From their example I am a mild mannered driver and never choose to be confrontational. I think my flight instinct is much greater than my fight. I have never been in a hostile exchange with another driver.

ABumanglag 03/06/00 4:21 PM
RE: SWR-7: Very interesting....

Wow, it's really good to hear that there are some non-agressive drivers on the road. I guess you're one of the lucky ones who actually had "good" driving role models. As for myself, I find that I also learned my driving habits from my parents. However, I think my friends, and also co-workers at one point, might have also had an influence on my aggressive driving habits. The funny thing is, while growing up during my high school years, I always felt this strong sense of stereotypical male driving behavior. Somehow, it was ok for me to drive a little aggressive, because if not, I would have appeared like a pansy to my friends. This is probably why I have been driving aggressively for so long. I guess social factors really have a strong influence on driving styles.

ABumanglag 03/06/00 4:13 PM
SWR#7: 3 step program

Ok, as step 1 of Dr. Driving's 3 step program instructs, I admit that I am an aggressive driver. This does not occur all the time, but nevertheless, there are times when I admit that I am guilty of weaving in and out of traffic and tailgating drivers who cut me off. I have been driving like this for many years now, and this driving style was probably reinforced by me watching my friends and other family members drive (we're just all a bunch of aggressive drivers!)
Anyway, I understand that in order to change, I have to try and change one bad habit at a time. Right now, I'm having a hard time with this because there are times when I am not aware of my aggressive driving until its too late. However, good news is, I think I am beginning to make some improvements.

For example, on Sat., while I was driving on Moanalua Freeway, A van was going really fast and began to tailgate me. I was looking in my rear view mirror and was surprised to see him driving that close. Usually, I would have probably reacted by slowing down to piss him off, or perhaps even retaliating with a "friendly" hand gesture (not the shaka sign.) Anyway, I remained cool, and did nothing. Shortly after, he changed lane and was far away from me. I was happy to see that I reacted in what is perhaps the right thing to do in a situation like that. Nevertheless, I feel that I still need a lot of practice in controlling my emotions on the road.

Guerra 03/06/00 9:35 PM
RE: SWR#7: 3 step program (RC #7)

Sounds like your on your way to improving yourself as a driver. I actually feel the same way because I used to often yell at people or drive very aggressively. Nowdays, I just cruise it and don't cause trouble even when other drivers are trying to aggrevate me. I had a similar experience to yours when I was driving home from Hickam AFB this weekend. I was just leaving the base and some older caucasian woman was following me. I wasn't speeding because I always drive speed limit on base (strict rules!) Well anyways, she was tailing me and she could have easily changed lanes. My first reaction was "what the f*ck!," then I thought "who cares." I had just finished a long day and just wanted to get home okay. So i just let it go and she proceeded to pass me then cut in front of me. I found it funny because she seemed very hostile.

I feel as if I am a more emotionally intelligent driver nowdays. I don't worry about getting revenge anymore. My only problem is to not speed when I drive to work in rush hour. Besides driving to work I drive alot safer.

Guerra 03/06/00 9:58 PM
OC #7 speeding out of courtesy?

I was driving around town the other day and I was in no rush to get anywhere. So I naturally just drove slightly above the speed limit. The street I was on had only one lane. Then another car was approaching me from behind. I noticed that he wasn't speeding, but was going slightly faster than I was. He maintained a respectable distance from me but I could tell that he obviously wanted me to go faster. Just because I felt bad for slowing down the car behind me I speed up. I'm not exactly sure but I was probably going at least ten miles over the speed limit. I continued this speed until the road opened up into two lanes, then he proceeded to pass me.

My comment is that he did not tailgate me or yell at me or beep his horn at me. But since I was driving at a legal speed I felt bad for slowing him down. This caused me to speed. I feel like this form of speeding is not aggressive because I wasn't trying to cut anyone off or hang turns or run red lights. Am I still being an emotionally unintelligent driver?

I don't think so, but I was curious as to what others believe. I personally hate to be that one car which causes a line of cars to form behind them.

Guerra 03/06/00 10:12 PM
swr #7

I have acknowledged that I am part of the problem a long time before I read this tee card. I realized this from our other discussions on this board. I have to say though that prior to this class I did consider myself as almost excellent, not quite but almost. Kind of conceited, yes, but I have learned my mistake.

I think I have realized what my own errors and transgressions are. Hmm I might need help on this one, maybe I'll ask a friend or family member? But I did do a pretty good job this weekend of noting that errors that I could see. Such as speeding up to catch a yellow light, barely stopping at a stop light, and making a double lane switch (that is going two lanes over without stopping.)

I have already begun this modification phase of driving. I recently was tailed by an older lady, I was surprised that I didn't get upset. It didn't even bother me when she cut back in front of me just to annoy me. Hopefully this minor incident means that I am on the right track to improving myself. I sure hope so.

kuni99 03/06/00 11:18 PM
RC#7

I am glad to hear of the improvement and awareness in your driving...every person's improvement counts. I too feel that I thought that I was a "good" driver until taking this course and becoming more aware of my bad habits and emotional driving. I think that our roads and highways can become much safer if every driver was aware of their bad driving habits.

kuni99 03/06/00 11:08 PM
SWR#7

I think that everyone as human beings drive with feelings and emotions and habits. We are creatures of habit, but we also don't like to see our faults. I know that I have faults in my driving habits and only since taking this course have I become conscious or aware of really analyzing my drivng habits and trying to adjust it to more safe driving. So far, I have acknowledged the fact that I drive with too much emotion toward other "bad" drivers.

isabel 03/21/00 6:21 PM
(RC #8) RE: SWR#7

I agree with you that people are creatures of habits. We often have many bad habits relating to driving and other aspects that we may not be aware of. Those habits have stayed with us so long because we are never told that they are bad and need to be changed. I guess many drivers are not aware of their bad driving habits too and this class tells us that those are bad habits and makes us rethink about ourselves and what we have so long upheld as correct. I think there are definitely many bad drivers out there that need to take this class to be aware of their bad driving habits or their driving will never improve. Sometimes, other people may tell us that we have bad habits but we may or may not listen. This class gives us all the facts and statistics that alert us to the big issue of road rage and how our driving play a part in it. It would be strange if people still find it not convincing enough to start changing.

allianic 03/08/00 5:49 PM
RE: SWR#7 (My RC #8)

I agree that as human beings we all drive with feelings and emotions and habits. I guess that sometimes we don't realize that we are driving a certain way because it is a habit for us that we think is correct. Ans when we grow up believing that something is correct, it is hard for us to change out thinking. I think that all people, at least sometimes, drive with emotion. It's just that a lot of people don't know how to control their feelings which makes driving even more dangerous. But since I have been taking this driving class, I have to admit that I am more aware of myself when I am driving. I think that a class like this would be beneficial to anyone with an open mind about driving. It will just be hard to convince the people with closed minds that they could use some help with their driving habits.

kuni99 03/06/00 11:12 PM
OC#7

I feel that there should be programs like "driver awareness" so that everyone can become more conscious of the things that they do unconsciously while driving. People sometimes don't realize what they are doing when it is a habit. It tends to seem natural to that individual and all it takes is awareness of bad habits and the potential negative results to change or reform someone's driving habits.

isabel 03/21/00 6:23 PM
(Extra OC #4) Tailgating

Actually, tailgating on the road is quite a new thing for me. I never know that people would tailgate others as a form of road rage. But, it seems to be pretty common on the road. Maybe it has to do with the culture of driving here. I think different countries have different cultures of driving. Tailgating is probably not common in many Asian countries. (Not that I am aware of). Also, driving in Taiwan is a lot worse but I don't see road rage as an issue there. Maybe people are more tolerant and not as concerned etc. But, driving in Hawaii is definitely a whole lot better than driving in Taiwan. I have seen some drivers there who drove in opposite direction as the traffic flow even when they are not supposed to. Even if the traffic is that bad there, I don't think people commit murders out of road rage or killing another person's dog. (Or am I wrong?) So, why is the road rage issue so big here? I think it says something about our society.

Marissa_ 03/21/00 9:09 PM
RE: (Extra OC #4) Tailgating

What do you mean when you say,"I think different contries have different cultures of driving"? I don't see driving as a culture. It's more like there are a set of rules one must abide by in order to drive in various countries. Learing about what the rules are should be your responsibility when you move from one place to another. For example, one must learn that in Hawaii people do not drive on the same side of the road as people drive in Japan.

holma 03/07/00 7:56 PM
SWR #7

When I did my Driving Personality Makeover I realized a couple of thing that I was not aware of that I was doing.
1) I acknowledged some driving errors that I was doing, speeding up at yellow light and switching lanes when passing a crosswalk for example.
2) I witnessed my errors and I think I do them because I am being restless and because I am not paying attention.
3) I am now trying to be attentive and patient when I am driving, in order to eliminate these bad habits.
Hopefully my new correct driving behavior concerning these matters will remain even after taking this class.

Sandee 03/08/00 11:31 AM
SWR #7

At first, it was really difficult for me to acknowledg that I have a problem with my driving. I don't feel as though I am an excellent driver but I felt that I was an okay driver. Both of my parents are nonaggressive drivers so I really appreciate that they were very good role models as drivers. However, this does not mean that I don't get aggressive at all. I must admit there are days when I feel more aggressive and competitive. I think this is probably where I my driving makeover begins, admitting that I am not a perfect driver. I tried to notice mistakes of other drivers and I realize that I do the same mistakes also. By observing other drivers, I really feel that we can become better driver by keeping an open mind and drive with the intention of always trying to be a smart driver. Always choosing to be a peacemaker is also a very good point. It is our own choice to be a warrior or a peacemaker so make the right choice.

faylogna 03/09/00 11:09 AM
RE: SWR #7

I agree with you in the fact that by observing other drivers we can be come better driver. However, this method can only work IF we are intelligently aware what's right and wrong. For some, the things they observe may be right for them but are wrong if we were to carefully analyze it and so will pick up the habit. They will never learn until (hopefully) someone pin point that is wrong. Also, this method can be positive if the person do make an effect to try to change. There's a difference where a person can say it is wrong, leave it at that and does not make the effect to try to correct it and apply to one's self. This method will be at a greater value if a person become aware of their doing, accepts it, and then make an effect to change for better.

allianic 03/08/00 5:27 PM
SWR #8 - G13

I can't believe that hundreds of people die from shoot outs that happen because of driving mishaps. I think that it is really scary. I guess that since I don't know of it actually happening to anyone that I know makes, it even harder to believe. I would like to think that if I pulled over to talk to someone because we got into a little accident that we would both be mature enough to handle the situation without anyone getting hurt or too angry. I think that it is natural for both drivers to be a little upset at first, but I don't think that it tis natural to just shoot someone. Maybe it is just the men that let these situations get out of hand. Being a girl, I can't see myself getting into a situation like that. If I did pull over and the other driver was yelling at me I would probable be too scared to do anything except listen. And if I knew that the other driver was drunk, I would probably be even more careful about what I did. Getting angry will only cause both people to act irrationally. I would most likely try to explain, in a VERY calm voice, that I was very sorry and that we could try to work it out. I guess that men feel the need to show how tough they are by fighting back instead of just leaving the scene. It just really scares me that there are people in the world that let their emotions run so high that they end up killing someone. I understand that there are times when it is extremely hard to control your feelings. But I don't understand it when people let crazy things happen, like killing or hurting someone. I mean is their car THAT important that you need to kill someone because it got damaged? I just hope that someday people will learn that over reacting about auto accidents is more harmful than beneficial. Then maybe the roads will be a much safer place to drive for everyone.

faylogna 03/10/00 2:26 PM
RC#8

It is sad to say, but, in today's society many people are killing one another because of negative reasons. It could be because their belongings were damages (i.e car), their property were violated, their feelings were hurt or they were just labeled wrongly (i.e gay). Yes, these are stupid reasons because a person life shouldn't taken away when there are alternative ways in handling the situation. I think one of the best way to answer an issue is by talking it out: discussioning what's the problem, trying to find a solution and coming to an understanding. It can be very difficult to come to an understanding because each of us have different perspective, however, with an open mind a compromise can be made.

In addition, I'll share with you an accident that I was involved in. I was driving around to find a parking when suddenly a woman came out the parking stall and hit the side of my car. I don't think the lady was looking where she was backing into because if she did then she wouldn't have hit me in the side. Anyways, when I knew that the person was a big woman I decided just to stay in the car until the cop's arrive. I was intimidated by her size and appearance. I didn't want to be beaten up.

blinking 03/11/00 7:57 PM
OC #8

Something like this happened to me, too. I was driving down a row of parked cars, and this female shot out from a stall. I had to slam on my brakes and steer away from her to avoid hitting her. Because I was already past the front part of her car I proceeded forward. When I passed her, I looked over at her and noticed that she had an angry look on her face and mouthed what looked like "Hurry the F@#$ up." Naturally, I got mad and defensive and asked my passenger what I did wrong. Eventually, I got over it and just chalked it up to one of life's learning experience.

melo1 03/11/00 1:02 PM
RC #8

I don't think we can generalize and say that men are more inclined to be involved in road rage shoot out. Recently, a road rage shoot out occurred in the mainland involving two women. Apparently, one overtook the other which led to a high-speed chase, which eventually led to the tragic loss of one of the drivers. I think race, gender, or age is not factor when it comes to road rage. We are all at risk of encountering these kinds of people. Our only defense would be a rational, calm attitude, that will hopefully save our lives.

blinking 03/11/00 7:46 PM
RC #8

Sad and unfortunate as it is, these kinds of things happen everyday. I do think that part of the problem is that many do not take the time to consider the consequences of our actions...or at the extreme, they do not care. I also think that the media plays a large role in the way we think. Many times, I have heard that people try to mimic the way stunt drivers drive, because they feel confident that if the actors can do it, they can do it. What they fail to realize is that it takes many attempts to have the scene look perfect. A car is not a living thing...it can be replaced...people can't.

allianic 03/08/00 6:23 PM
OC #8

Looking at all the increased fatalites and violence. I think it comes down to one thing: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. When we drive, we don't see a human being that we are affecting. We only see a hunk of metal and rubber. Although we may "blame" the human driver for actions we don't care for, it is still just the car itself that we are focusing in on. Could this lack of respect and dehumanizing nature of many drivers also attribute to the great number of "bad drivers"? When we are driving, if we could all just feel that by hitting another car with ours we are actually hitting a person and not a bunch of metal.

LDwiggins 03/10/00 2:02 PM
RC #8

I agree that R E S P E C T is a factor in the increased violence. However, I think a lot of road related incidents result from our territorial attitudes. Why are we so territorial instead of sharing the road? Are we stressed out and therefore more easily irritated? My psychobiology instructor told the class that Stress is a good thing. He continued to explain that only when stress is prolonged can it be a bad thing. I feel that most of us in our busy lives loose sight of the fact that we (humans) are all on this earth TOGETHER and therefore should respect each other. I used to think there was no hope for road rage. However, I feel it starts with me. Maybe little by little we (Dr. Driving's students) can demonstrate the difference in driving with emotional intellegence. :)

ShaunnaM 03/21/00 2:11 PM
RC #8

I agree with both these postings that people do not give other driver the respect and coutesy they deserve. Actually, I feel that many people come up with false perceptions of the other drivers around them that can lead to assumptions (nagative) about their motives for driving the way they do. Probably 99% of the time they are wrong, but feel threatened, and want to retaliate or be unkind, by not letting them pass, or slowwing down intentionaly. I noticed this when I was doing my Being A Buddy/ Driving Personality Make-over, with a friend. She always judged the other drivers as "having something against her" or they drove that way to "piss her off". I think if people took the time to even listen to themselves to see how foolish and wrong they sound, the roads would be much more pleasant.

faylogna 03/09/00 10:47 AM
SWR#7: Three-step program

I've always though myself as a very very good driver. I've obey the law and tries to be a good driver towards fellow drivers. I didn't think that I had a problem. However, it is during these days when I am not driving that I have realize I do a problem. It is just now that I realize I am not that person I thought I was. I have not been behind the wheel for quite sometime now, because my car is in the shop. I had been asking others a ride and it was those times that made me aware of my driving.
I feel witnessing how others drive can have a profound positive effect on a person. Many lessons can be learned from such an experience. Take my experience for example. Every morning my oldest brother drives his family and I to town. We always take the zipper lane and H1 freeway. Usually, we get out of the house by 6:30 am so that we will be able to make it to town by 7:10. However, if we are 5 minutes late leaving the house then we will definitely arrive to town late and I know then that my brother will be weaving through the traffic. It just scares the hell out of me when my brother do weave through the traffic because of the way he moves in and out of the lane. There are times when I think he might hit someone. I know that my brother knows what he is doing because he works with car everyday and I do trust him. However, I feel that even though he may be a good and cautious driver, there will be a time where another drive who is careless and unaware will eventually hit us. I personally feel, we can never be too careful on the road. Everytime that he does this I fear for my three year old niece. Thank God nothing bad has happen to us yet while driving.
Witnessing my brother's aggressive driving and my friends' bad driving behavior are things that made me acknowledge that I am not an excellent or a very, very good driver. The mistakes they do on the road are things that I myself do on the road, which I have not been aware before. The negative feelings I gained from riding along with this people are things that had open my eyes about myself. Usually, I portray myself to be good, therefore, it is hard for me to accept bad criticism and acknowledge that the things I may think are correct are actually are not. However, I am now more aware and is in the process of making some changes in my life these days. Luckily, I was able to learn this lesson at this time and age and not when I actually in an accident.

ShaunnaM 03/10/00 12:08 AM
RC #7 to SWR #7

I think that it is good that this person realized that they are not the best driver after seeing others drive bad. I think a better thing that this person could do would be help the other bad drivers see what they are doing and how, even though they feel they may shave two minutes off the drive, they are not doing themselves any favors. This is important, especially on the the freeway during rush hour, when just about everyone else on the road feels they are just as late. Leaving two minutes earlier can make the ride a whole lot more enjoyable. I know I hate driving when I am late somewhere, it seems more people are drivng slow, all the lights decide to turn red, and everyone is out to slow you down. I think alot of people will agree with that.
I thought it was a little strange that the bad drivers were the ones who made this person see the were not a good driver. Usually it is the opposite with me, when I drive with a good driver, I notice, and then I think about the things I do differently, and realize I am not good at all. (Even though I continue to drive the same way after).

robsolmssen 03/16/00 11:51 AM
RE: SWR#7: Three-step program

I would recommend witnessing another driver, especially one that you are comfortable with. This exercise helps me control my emotions, and it also allows me to recognize the positive and negetive aspects of my driving styles. By riding along with someone that you can openly comment on spesific driving styles/techniques, one is able to engage in discussion or conversation. Thus, leading to further tests when you are driving by yourself. The more driving styles you witness the better you are. However, you must remember not to establish certain bias toward, or against specific drivers. Many of us tend to do this among friends and family.

faylogna 03/10/00 12:47 PM
OC#8: Did you know...

I've heard from KSSK on the radio this morning that there were 1200 accidents last year in Hawaii caused by speeding. My initial reaction was that how could that be. Why such a huge number? However, if you were to do the math and say that within the 364 days we have in a year (except leap year) it would involve at least 3 vehicles a day. However, I don't normally hear from the news that this happens in Hawaii everyday. Normally, when there is an accident, it usually involves 3 cars or more. Therefore, it is realistic that 1200 vehicles were involved. It doesn't need to be everyday an accident occurs but twice per week and involving more than 3 vehicles.

Also, I am not suprised that speeding is the cause of 1200 accidents because normally when I am on the road I see many drivers speeding in the sense that they are going 75-90 mph.

ShaunnaM 03/21/00 2:00 PM
RE: OC#8:

It's not that surprising to hear those figures one you break it down like that. It would be better if they gave a whole report as to how many involved alcohol/drugs, if they were on the freeway or on a small road, the age/sex. When you get a simple statistic like that, it really doesn't explain that much, it makes you think, but you don't know what's really going on, and how to work at solving it. It would be interesting to see those statistics as compared to other accident stats, and the breakdown, then see how surprising it is.

LDwiggins 03/10/00 1:50 PM
SWR #8

This tee card addresses CARR (Children Against Road Rage). My experience with my niece (12 yrs old) and nephew (10 yrs old) reflects what Dr. James said in the first week of class. "Children first learn to d

faylogna 03/10/00 1:45 PM
SWR#8: Who's the better man?

From analyzing the story, I definitely agree with Dr. Driving that there were many ways that could have prevented the whole ugly scenario. A man wouldn't be dead and the other one be in the hospital if the chain was broken. A chain was formed by each negative actions done by both parties in the sense of a domino affect. It is sad to say that it is only after that we can say IF ONLY he did/didn't do this that could have prevnted the whole thing.

I'm probably being gender bias here but I feel many cases like this one usually involves men at both parties. It is rare to find two women fighting that resulted to a homicide. You men out there will hate me for this... but what's wrong with you guys. Why can't you guys control you're egos and not sink to the other person's level of anger. I know that society has always played a big role in distinghing how a man should act and feel. However, shouldn't you "men" try to disprove it by making a change. I think the person who do uses their mind and try to control the situation by not sinking to the other person's level will be the better man in the end.

melo1 03/11/00 1:13 PM
OC #8

I agree that this road rage shoot out could've been avoided if one link of a long chain of bad choices could've been eliminated. I guess it's easier said than done, b/c when you're in the heat of an argument it's most definitely hard to back down. And this, in my opinion, is independent of what gender, race, age...a person is. Our ego is innate. All of us are born with it. The difference is the magnitude of how we carry and value our ego over being safe, rather than sorry.

Hatsumi 03/11/00 3:25 PM
OC #8

Okay, the whole gender thing. First off, I'm female, just so you understand my perspective. I definitely believe that a person's sex makes a difference. All of you equal rights people, don't even argue with me. I don't believe that any sex is better than the other. They're simply different. It's the truth. Deal with it. Whether it's because of biology or environment, I think it's both, and I'm not going to go into that here.

In any case, I believe that it's true that violent things like shootings tend to occur way more often between men than between women. Maybe it has to do with vasopressin and testosterone, but I have no idea. The fact that men are raised by their environment to be strong, dominating, and able to defend themselves has a hand in it, as well.

However, this doesn't get women off the hook. True, we aren't as physically violent and we're less likely to shoot someone or beat someone up, but women in cars cause a huge problem, as well. Since women tend to drive less "aggressively," they often drive too slow and they are unsure as to where they are going, so this can make traffic a living hell, too. I don't know how many times I've noticed that the car in front of me that's going 10 mph slower than the speed of traffic is a woman, for example. One could certainly argue that going to slow is a form of aggression as well, almost like being passive aggressive.

Obviously, I am making generalizations. I am well aware that there are exceptions to all generalizations, so don't get offended or anything. I'm simply pointing out that men aren't the only ones that cause trouble. It's simply that women cause a different KIND of trouble.

blinking 03/11/00 8:33 PM
OC #8 (2)

So what you're saying is that women are incapable of these kinds of acts or thinking? So why is it that more and more these days I see women drivers speeding and tailgating and weaving in and out of traffic? It's too narrow of a statement to say that men cause all of these things and that only men are acting too "macho". in the case of the TEE card, there wasn't anyone else around, so who were they trying to impress? Lastly, shouldn't women stop trying to flirt their way out of tickets and citations and just take the dang ticket?

Guerra 03/12/00 5:29 PM
rc #8

I just wanted to say that I actually feel that the reason why more women don't end up killing each other is the fact that not many women own guns! Honestly, the number of women that I know whom own guns is probably a big ZERO! But, I do know quite a number of guys who have liscensed guns.

Still I do feel that men are more likely to show their aggression. Women may be just as angry as men, but they just may not show it.

holma 03/12/00 8:48 PM
(RC#8): rc #8

According to Guerra, the reason that not more women end up killing each other is the fact that not many women own guns. Everyone gets really mad sometimes, but it is what you do about it that counts. Often times men get really angry and they have a tendency to react strongly upon it to show their anger to others. I think it is a typical male reaction, because they don't want to be perceived as whimps. That is the dangerous part, because that might lead others to react to their outburst of anger - with anger. This might lead to a chain of events that easily could get out of hand. If there are guns involved, the outcome are very likely to be deadly.Of course women get just as angry as men, but the big difference is what they do with their anger! That's the point! So, the smartest thing is to not own a gun, and to not show your anger or react on it in a way that might provoke others. Research shows that women might be a little smarter than men in this particular case.

ry409 03/13/00 12:36 PM
RE: SWR#8: Who's the better man? (My OC#8)

You know what I know that there might be some kind of correlation between sex and displays of road rage and I'm glad that someone brought it up. I dont' want to implay that men ar inherently violent in nature because I don't feel like I could commit any acts of road rage, but in many of these situations I don't think that these guys thought they would be capable either. I do think that people who carry around some kind of weapon in their car with then when they drive whether it be a gun of a hammer or pipe or wrench or something that they put in their car with the intention ot using is as a weaspon if the situation arose is increasing the chances of violent acts of road rage in my book. I don't drive around with any weapons in my car. I know that when my grandpa was alive he always had tools in his car and in particular a large wrench under his seat. I asked him why he had it there and he told me that is was just in case he got into a fight with anybody. I just thought that must have been normal because I was young at that time. I've learned since then and it has been reinforced in this class and by reading these posts that road rage is psychologically anchored in our psyche. Our experiences and influences effect how our actions our displayed especially in incidents of road rage.

shizue 03/14/00 10:41 PM
RC #8

I have to agree with you about your point that this situation could have been avoided. I do believe that in many of the cases I've read about the shootings did occur between two males, however, I wouldn't be so quick to pinpoint all men with having "ego" problems. Perhaps the reason why there are so many more males involved in these situations is because 1) more males drive; 2) more males carry guns; or 3) women are just smaller in size in general (like me) and therefore, wouldn't be as willing to jump into physical confrontations because they are at a severe disadvantage. When I am out on the road, I encounter just as many disgruntled females as males. I do believe that society plays some role in encouraging males to be more independent and take more responsibility and this does lead to what we call "macho"ness and the males need to showcase their strength. However, regardless of whether you are male or female, you should still be able to think rationally and not let a simple driving incident turn into a homicide.

LDwiggins 03/10/00 2:15 PM
OC#8-Easier said than done

I realized from all the questions I received after my presentation that managing our emotions is easier said than done.

Wednesday night I was on the road with my husband. We were on our way home from dinner when a brand new v.w. did not stop at the sign and pulled into our lane as we were in it. My husband honked his horn and the guy in the other car slowed down and was driving side by side by my husband. He said something to him that caused my husband to roll down his window where words were exchanged. I tried to remain calm and asked my husband to let it go,but he followed the car for a short while. I was so angry that when the guy again cut across our lane I wanted to throw something out my window to ding his new car,but I did not. My husband pulled into Foodland and I told him once we got out of the car that I would be driving home. As we left the store I told him I would drive if he had not cooled down, he reasurred me that he was fine. It is hard enough for me to monitor and manage my feelings when I am driving. It is even harder to try to assist someone who is not ready to manage their emotions while driving. I guess I have to set the example and continue to be a supportive driver.

Hastumi 03/11/00 3:12 PM
RE: OC#8-Easier said than done (RC #8)

Being a passenger with someone who's not willing to control their emotions is a very hard thing to do. My boyfriend drives rather aggressively and it tends to make me a little nervous. I tell him that people like him are what we study about in this class and he smiles, apologizes, and slows down a bit. Of course, that's if he's willing to listen to me. Most of the time, he's too caught up in his own problems, so he shrugs and tells me that he's a safe driver. Believe it or not, he's not lying when he says that. He's a very good driver and is always in control of his vehicle when he drives. He knows how it handles and all that. He just goes faster and tends to follow a bit too close for my comfort. When he swears a lot at the cars around them because, "Hawaii people can't drive. They're always going so G*d damned slow," I try to tell him that he shouldn't let it get to him. In addition, I usually tell him that the people aren't like mainland people when it comes to driving. People drive faster on the mainland. Period. They have larger, longer highways and driving fast is possible. Hawaii's roads are too cramped with too many drivers going somewhere at the same time. He rarely listens. I don't know why I bother. I keep thinking that if I keep saying something, he'll listen, but we've been together for almost two years and it's still basically the same. It's damned frustrating. I worry about his safety. I am happy, though, that he doesn't exchange words out the window or follow someone who pisses him off. That's a relief. Thank God he doesn't like confrontation. :-)

Guerra 03/12/00 5:22 PM
RE: OC#8 (my rc #8)

I think that it is good that you are trying to help your boyfriend become a better driver. Maybe you should force him to participate in this coolboard forum stuff. Err QDC. Just politely ask him if he would mind posting a few messages. He can even use a fake name and noone has to know who he is. I think that would be a good way to see how well this QDC would work for someone who is not from our class. In fact I would be very interested to find out if it would work.

Maybe I'll ask my girlfriend to participate in this QDC, if only she didn't always have her own homework to do.:(

Oh Well, keep trying to encourage others around you to become better drivers. I try to encourage my girlfriend, but it usually comes out as yelling at her to stop driving so crazy. I have to work on that.

Suchrio 07/08/00 6:27 PM
RE: OC#8-Easier said than done (RC #8)

Ask him how he would drive at the beaches of Rio (where the clothing is on the (ahem) light side). I would also guess that many people in Hawaii are on a serious vacation and in no serious hurry to get anywhere. They're already there!

-Suchiro (haven't been to Rio - yet)

holma 03/12/00 8:57 PM
(OC #8): OC#8-Easier said than done

I agree that it is easier said than done to calm down when you're boiling with anger! I think it is great that you offered to drive if your husband hadn't cooled down. If he would have continued driving in a outraged state, more bad things could have happened. Because when he is upset, he perceive things differently and the smallest thing can trigger an unwanted, violent response from him.

tanthony 03/13/00 4:28 PM
OC-8

Thumbs up to you for keeping a cool head in that situation. When my boyfriend gets angry at people, I tend to get angry at him. I tell him it is not worth it to try and retaliate and when he does not listen I get angry. I would be super mad if he actually exchanged words with someone. I just know that this can be dangerous.

melo1 03/11/00 1:31 PM
SWR #8

It's a tragic that people are killed over trifling matters. The sad thing is that we are all at risk in this road rage shoot out. We could never predict when we'll encounter an individual whose fuse is ready to blow up. Maybe it's not even that, it could be anybody - the person sitting next to you or even the most composed person you know. All it takes is another person to light the fire. Unfortunately, this could eventually lead to a series of bad choices which lead to a tragic ending. What if the people involved in the situation just took for themselves and thought of what the outcome would be. I am assuming that they didn't even think how much their impulsive actions would affect their families. Even just one driver would've made a big difference. It's that easy. Well, maybe not. When we are in the heat of an argument, our emotions take over logic. We can't even detect the subtle differences of life and death. It is a sad thing - and our only defense to this madness is to stop, think, and walk away.

shizue 03/14/00 10:45 PM
OC #8

It would be ideal if all people would just stop, think, and walk away. However, judging by the amount of violent outbreaks that we've read about in the news recently, it seems as though most people are not able to manage their anger. Perhaps, schools should think about teaching such subjects as anger management in their programs starting from elementary school. The reason I say to start at such a young age is because the number of violent acts taking place for people that are in elementary schools is drastically increasing each year. We need to start implementing some system to help these children deal with their anger early on that way it won't escalate to the tragic point that we read about in this article. Children who don't know how to deal with their anger will grow up to be adults who have more access to weapons and that is a scary situation to think about.

Hatsumi 03/11/00 3:03 PM
SWR #8

I'm sorry, but s**t like this really pisses me off! When I read about things involving senseless violence, I get very noticably ANGRY. I supposed I really shouldn't let it get to me, but I can't seem to help it. I react this way to television and movies, as well. I actually read the TEE card two days ago and when it made me feel angry, I felt compelled to not write anything because I thought I would probably be able to think better and express myself more efficiently if I took a day or two to breathe.

It is truly sad and pathetic that such events occur on a regular basis. I'm happy to say that I'm pretty good about avoiding confrontation when I'm on the road and there are certain things that I can do to make it stay that way. Basically, I like the fact that I'm alive and I have no desire to cut this bizarre life short for any reason. Some moron hitting my car is not something that I would be willing to die for. It's just a car. It's an inanimate machine. I'm alive, thinking, feeling, and all that, so I don't think that an inanimate object is worth giving all that up. I am very aware that some people would certainly disagree with that, and that's their problem, I guess. I would hate to think that they would die, though. No matter how stupid or immature someone might be, I would never wish death on them.

As the TEE card points out, there are many ways to avoid situations like this one. The easiest way for me to avoid road rage, though, is to just let it go. I never make eye contact with other drivers because I'm terrified that they might have a gun and kill me or beat me up or something. And I certainly wouldn't go chasing someone who hit me. If my car was still capable of working and someone hit me and took off, I'd call the cops, try and describe the car, and just deal with it. Retaliation isn't worth my life.

Then there's the whole stupid idea of carrying around a concealed weapon. Who in their right mind would do such a stupid thing?! My boyfriend is from Texas and he tells me that it's a very dangerous place in some areas. I don't doubt that for a minute, but if I'm carrying a gun, chances are that the person I'm mad at is carrying one, as well. In that case, I should just get away and save myself.

Life is precious. Don't throw it away.

ry409 03/13/00 12:22 PM
RE: SWR #8 (My RC#8)

I know that incidents of road rage can be found anywhere that people are driving, but I feel somehow safer drving in Hawaii than anywhere else. First of all people don't drive as fast as they do and mainland. I know that people are always complaining about the speed limits here but if those people were to experience what is was like to drive on a free way where everyone was going 70 or 80 mph I don't think they'd be complaining as much. I agree that in certain areas of the island 55 mph seems to slow and they could be right. Straight roads can be driven at higher speeds with less chance of accidents depending on the concentration or cars on the road. Many of the roads here in Hawaii are curvy making then dangerous to be driven at high speeds. I don't think it's really worth all the danger that you put yourself in as well as other drivers on the road in to reach your destination 5 or 10 minutes ahead of time. That probablem can easily be solved by leaving earlier. This is a problem many people in Hawaii have because our destinations are relatively close to where we leave.

Moreover the issue of road rage also involves weapons in the cars being used on others. First of all it's illegal to have a concealed weapon in your car. Someone who is driving around with a weapon is already putting themselves at and increased risk of injury as the weapon maybe used on them by somebody else. Having a weapon in your car says to me that the driver is already thinking of using it. Driving around with that kind of intention leads to a predisposition of road rage in my book. It's almost like it gives you and excuse to react violently. Avoiding things like carrying a concealed weapon in your car or getting out of your car after an accident are steps that can be ignored and should not be done to ensure that road rage does not have and opportunity to come forward when the situation presents itself.

blinking 03/11/00 7:29 PM
Swr #8

Pertaining to the "road Rage Shootout" article...I do agree with Dr. Driving, that the at any point in time, the whole scenario could have been averted. The first problem I noticed was that one driver was intoxicated. He could not have acted rationally in the state he was in and probably could not reason another way out of the situation. The next problem I notice is that MAYBE, the second driver felt that it was his duty (being that he was in the military) to detain the driver for the police. This kind of sounds like he was trying to do a citizen's arrest or something. Essentially very commendable, but what ensues is quite disturbing. At any given point in time the second driver could have let the police know what happened and let the proper authorities handle it from there. Instead it turns into something sad and discouraging.

Guerra 03/12/00 5:41 PM
OC #8 (re: the violence thing)

IMHO the main problem in Hawaii and in alot of other places is that too many people have liscenses. I may have posted this before somewhere but I still strongly believe that many people should not have a liscense. I mean if I had to decide who was allowed to keep their liscenses in Hawaii, at least two thirds of the population would be without a liscense. This would help to reduce all of this road rage, since the people who do drive are very good drivers and they have no "poor" drivers on the roads.

Everyone should go through a strict driving test and then Dr. James' driving class before they are allowed to get a liscense. Then as Dr. James has said before they should have to participate in QDCs for as long as they keep their liscense.


Oh well that is just my humble opinion.

Guerra 03/12/00 5:55 PM
SWR #8

First, off I'd like to say that I am actually not that saddened by this incident. I may sound like a prick or a a**hole, but I am glad that two people who would wield handguns and shoot at each other, met the other. At least it wasn't a situation which involved someone who just meant to talk to the other person, then got shot. I have never owned a gun and even if I do decide to purchase one I would not carry it in my vehicle.

I do agree with Dr. James assessment that they both had many chances to break the chain of events and avoid this altercation. I do feel that if these two had not happened to meet in this road rage incident, they would have caused another road rage incident at a later date.

I sometimes wonder, though, do these people who experience road rage really not have control of themselves? The tee card said that many of these "killers were taken by surprise at their own ferocity." I have trouble believing this. Were they really surprised or did they just say that so as to not look bad? It sounds like a good idea to claim that you were too emotionally aroused. I feel that many of these people just use that as an excuse. Just my two cents.

tanthony 03/13/00 4:20 PM
RC-8

I agree that it is pretty pathetic that people do things like this. I won't go so far as to say that I'm glad they got into this situation but I'm sure there are plenty of other people who would agree with you whole-heartedly. I am a bit skeptical of genuine surprise on the parts of people like this. What did they think they were going to do with the guns that they kept illegally in their cars? Did they really have them with the intention of never hurting anybody? If that was the case, they shouldn't have had guns in their cars. This situation frightens me because what it says to me is that there are others out there like this who will shoot you if they think you did something stupid. The appearance of a lack of intelligence is not grounds for execution!

robsolmssen 03/16/00 11:38 AM
RE: RC-8

I feel that most of the people that I have seen carring guns in their cars have never been trained on the proper use and handling of a gun. This is an extremely dangerous combination, even more so when that individual has a bad temperment.

holma 03/12/00 9:08 PM
SWR #8

It is terrifying to read about road rage shoot outs! I think that it is absolutely horrible that things like this happens on the road! I'm not sure if this is an extreme example of road rage or if it is a violent tendency in today's society. There are so many stories of killers who is shooting innocent people these days. These shootings take place in a lot of different settings, so why should it not happen on the road too? I think that it is too easy to get a hold of guns in this country. it should be more rules and regulations about owning guns! The fewer guns - the fewer acts of violence with deadly outcome!

Marissa_ 03/19/00 12:41 AM
RE: SWR #8 (OC)

Guns or no guns. I think there will still be violence. The people have to change. People are having difficulty dealing with stress so they find quicker ways out – shoot the people that are giving them problems. How are we to deal with the increase of violence today? We must teach others and help them to become better able to handle the day-to-day stress that occurs.

jamesy69 03/12/00 10:30 PM
SWR #8

When I hear incidents involving road rage that ends in a shooting, I can't but feel that there had to be other compounding issues that lead to this type of altercation. No accident, no matter who is to blame, should lead to the killing of another individual. It simply does not make sence. I think a lot has to do with the mood you are in that particular day and other issues you are facing such as work or school that adds on stress. Because of this, we drive without using emotional intelligence and fall victim to our emotional side. I guess after having a accident, this event triggers us to explode and to unlease our emotions on innocent individuals. We as drivers have to realize that the world does not revolve around us but that every individual should be given the same respect that we would want. I think when we finally realize this, the road will become a little safer for us.

jamesy69 03/12/00 11:58 PM
OC #8 Out of Control

I remember a few weeks ago where I witnessed a incident involving road rage. One car had cut in front of another car causing the other car to slam on its brakes. While at a stop light the individual that had to slam on the brakes got out of his vehicle and starting banging on the window of the other car. I thought the window was going to break. He was totally out of control! The light finally changed and the other car sped away. I had never seen anything like it. Seeing a incident like that really opened my eyes in seeing how dangerous road rage really is. It's scary to think that there are individuals driving out there everyday like the one I witnessed on that day. Drivers just need to calm down and relax and need to develop strategies in order to control their emotions. Letting your emotions go free is dangerous not only for others but for yourself as well.

Sandee 03/15/00 11:50 AM
RC #8

This incident is so ridiculous! It's not like this caused an accident right? Just becuase you have to slam on your breaks because the car in front of you drives recklessly is nothing to be so angry about. I mean, isn't that the reason why we have breaks for, so drivers can slow down or come to a stop? People just have to learn to control their anger. I really feel that it's such of waist of energy to get upset about something that is so small. And people have to get over having power trips. What if the driver had a gun in the car with him and decided to shoot the guy for banging on his window? Who would be the idiot now?

ry409 03/13/00 12:08 PM
SWR #8

The situation that I chose to write about as an example of road rage is and event that just recently happened. I actually saw the story on the Today Show. The situation took place on a highway I believe. A woman was in her car with her dog behind the car of a man in a black SUV. They were stuck in traffic and it was raining and dark. The woman was trying to change lanes and because of the decreased visibility due to the weather conditions she unfortunately tappe dthe car in front of her. According to her it was a very light tap and did nothing to the bumper of the large SUV in front of her. The man got out of his car and proceeded to yell and curse at her for damaging his SUV. she rolled down her window to talk to him and her dog came over and sat in her lap to see who was at the window. The man then readched into the car and grabbed and threw the dog into the street of on-coming traffic. There were no cars coming at that time so she attempted to exit her vehicle to retreive her dog. Her car started to roll because it wasn't in park so she went back in her car to do so. As she did that the light changed and on-coming traffic was headed towards the dog. Needless to say that she was unable to reach the dog in time. It was hit and later died as a result of the collision.

This tragic situation could have been avoided if certain steps that happened did not take place. First of all if the man had not gotten out of his car he never would have even come into contact with the woman or the dog. Second if the woman hadn't rolled down her window the man never would have gotten the opportunity to reach his hand into the woman's car. Thirdly if the dog had been leashed in the car it would never had been on the woman's lap and accessible to be grabbed and carried out of the car.

kuni99 03/13/00 10:50 PM
RC#8

I agree that things don't just happen and since you cannot control what other people do, taking initiative to be cautious and be aware of the possiblities could actually save your life. People can be very mean and when tempers flair up in traffic situations, even the hot tempered driver may not realize his or her potential in hurting other people.

tanthony  03/13/00 4:05 PM
SWR-8

It is true that things don't "just happen". There are events leading up to them that can change the outcome. They may seem like they "just happened" to the person but if that person were to sit down and think about it, I think they would see it differently. It seems to me that a lot of "just happened" situations happened because of the involvement of alcohol. I am not a confrontational person, in or out of my car. I am confident that I will never get into a situation where I pull over and get into an arguement with someone that could turn into a bad case of road rage. It is just not who I am. I would drive away from the situation far before anything bad could happen. Maybe you could call me a frightened, lover of life.

ABumanglag 03/14/00 12:03 AM
RC #8:RE: SWR-8

It's interesting that you point out that you feel confident that you will never get into a confrontation over a road rage incident. I, however, believe that there are some times when, regardless of how careful you are, altercations are inevitable. There are always some rotten apples in the bunch trying to cause trouble. And, from my experiences, these rotten apples will stop at nothing to confront you - even if you walk away. It's true that you can drive away from a confrontation, but what if the person follows you - then what? That's the frightening part of our society today - everyone's so quick to resort to violence. Remember the incident we talked about in class about the dog? I'm pretty sure the lady was not intent on having a confrontation. Nevertheless, the other party still made the situation bad by throwing the dog on the road. In situations like this, then what do you do?

kuni99 03/13/00 10:45 PM
SWR#8

I think that the story is very scary. To think that the tragic ending all stemmed from a fender bender. I have been involved in a fender bender where a car backed up into my mom's car. The other car reversed out of his parking stall and hit my mom's car. Being a teenager and all, I didn't think about the danger to myself and my mom, I got out of the car and started swearing at the other driver telling him not to drive if he doesn't know how. Now that I think about that incident, there were so many things that could have possibly caused my life or my mom's.

kuni99 03/13/00 10:55 PM
OC#8

I think that the tragedy of road rage scares many people. Mostly we see and hear about it in the media, but it happens everyday and until people are taught how to drive without using their emotions, we will continue to have to control his or her anger and that is something that I get really frightened about when driving.

ABumanglag 03/13/00 11:50 PM
SWR#8

It is sad and terrifying that people today are so quick to resort to handguns to resolve their problems. The sad part is that this could happen to anybody. No one is ever completely sure of what the other person will do in a confrontation. I feel that this situation is really ridiculous because no one should lose their life, or get hurt over a minor fenderbender like this. In a situation like this, I have a hard time believing that our emotions can take us this far. Are we all doomed to suffer the same fates as a result of our emotions? It doesn't have to be this way - if only everyone worked on controling their emotions a little, the world would probably be a better place.

isabel 03/17/00 12:30 PM
(RC #9) Re: SWR#8

ABumanglag 03/14/00 12:13 AM
OC#8: Will it ever end?

This week's SWR made me realize how out of control gun violence is. It's sad because this type of violence is not limited to road rage incidents. For example, if you take a look at the news, so many people are resorting to guns to solve their problems. The scary thing is that even grade school children are guilty of gun related fatalities! Now isn't that scary? That's just not right. I know that guns might look cool in movies and all that, but they just don't belong on the streets. As long as guns are accessible to the population, I don't think there ever will be an end to all this gun related violence.

shanen 03/15/00 12:55 AM
RC #8: OC#8: Will it ever end?

I agree that we are not teaching our kids the consequences of the use of guns. They really don't know what happens or the real danger. Our society has based it's entertainment on the use of guns. Guns are in the movies, on TV, in videogames and in their hands as toys. They are everywhere. Did you hear that England has a ban on guns. Only their military is allowed to carry them I think. Their murder rate is way below ours. But I don't think that we can change our constitution for this.

isabel 03/21/00 6:18 PM
(OC #9) RE: Will it ever end?

I agree with the prevalence of gun use in our society. That's because they are easily accessible. The media also tend to send out many wrong messages to the public which can have a bad influence. But, it's not only guns. There are many many other things too. England can have a ban on guns and Singapore can have a ban on chewing gums. Why can't America do the same? I kind of think that it is just very hard for our country to really have a ban on anything which benefits the public because then many other groups will be against it and all that. It's really hard to get things done like that. I also find that there are always all kinds of opinions flowing around and it's hard to really reach a concensus. I think sometimes our country is kind of divided in opinions. Banning smoking totally is probably unlikely because the tobacco industry would lose money and of course they would protest. So, it is up to whether the government has our best interest at heart or someone else's.

robsolmssen 04/06/00 1:00 PM
RE: OC#8: Will it ever end?

I agree with you that the gun control in this county is out of control. I think that laws should be ammended to make it harder for someone to purchase a gun.

happiness_pie 03/14/00 3:55 AM
What to do?

I just encountered a person with terrible road rage today on my way to school, I go to a community college. Anyways he was tailgating me from when I left my town on a small route, then he would back off, then he would be tailgating me again. When I finally go to a stop sign before hitting the interstate I threw my hands up like what do you want me to do? And he totally flipped out. He almost ran off the onramp and hit me. Then he got in the passing lane and wouldn't let me over. He just kept screaming at me. When I would get behind him to pass someone else he would slow down to 60 or 65, then when I would try to pass him on the right he sped up to around 80 or 85. This went on for a while until another car got behind me when we were passing a semi and this guy started getting angry at me like the last guy did. Finally the guy must have sped up to 85 or 90 and eventually slowed down again and I finally passed him. As I was getting off the interstate he sped up to follow me. I pulled into a McDonald's and he didn't see me. But he went to the gas station next to it and was standing outside of his car just staring at me as I drove away. This guy really scared me. I wanted to call the state police but I didn't know the number. I'm at school right now and I keep looking over my shoulder. I'm even afraid to drive home today. I copied down his license plate number. Should I turn it into the police? I'm afraid that next time he could have a gun or something and he lives in my hometown. What do I do if he follows me home or something? And the sad part is that this was an older gentlemen I'd say in his 50s or 60s. Why would he act this way? Especially towards a young girl in her late teens and I even look younger than that. I'm really frightened and I'm not sure what to do. What should I do the next time something like this happens? I was wondering if anyone here could help. I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

LDwiggins 03/15/00 6:50 PM
(RC#9) What to do?

I am sorry to hear you were a victim of road rage. Understandably you have every right to feel scared since your encounter lasted over a long period of time. I am glad you wrote the driver's license number down. Why the driver was so enraged could be so many reasons, but resulted from him giving into his feelings of anger. It is unfortunate he let it build and took it out on you. Psychologically it could be a power trip for him to intimidate and scare a young lady, however it could be that whatever you did (even if it was minor) may have been the straw that broke the camel's back. I would contact the police department (calling 911) and explain the situation and give them the other driver's license number. If anything should happen to your car or you this information may be helpful. If this driver should "happen" to show up and follow up again, I would find the closest police station and park. I have had to do this when I was being followed. It really is a way to send the message that I know you are there and I am not giving into your game. Try not to give this driver the power to scare you at the same time try to practice charitable thoughts to explain his seeming irrational behavior. Good luck and hang in there.

:)

robsolmssen 03/14/00 1:13 PM
SWR#7 Proper spacing when passsing

If you often find yourself having difficulty getting into a lane in heavy traffic, then you might have trouble recognizing the flow and speed of the lane next to you. I notice this when I am going faster than the general flow of traffic...mostly during rush-hour. The best way to "slide" into another lane is to look ahead, or further down the road. Once you have recognized the braking patterns of the cars in that lane, you will have a much better feel of the situation. I place my car in the gap between two cars in the lane next to me. Looking for the gaps is the best way to successfully and safely switch lanes in heavy traffic. However, you must remember that in order to make a smooth switch, for you and those around you, you must maintain the speed of all the cars around you...not too fast and not too slow.

robsolmssen 03/14/00 1:22 PM
SWR#8 Guns

I realize that guns have become more and more available to younger populations. This poses a threat all motorists. I have become much more aware of this rising problem, especially in urban areas. I have noticed a change in my driving attitudes because of this problem. It is also a deterant for those who have a difficult time staing out of trouble. People in general need to adopt the philosophy of police officers. Trust nobody. You can't just go by your traditional stereotypes anymore because everyone may be carring a gun; even Grandma

Miya615 03/14/00 5:52 PM
need some information

i am doing a speech on "Road Rage". If anyone could tell me where to find more factual information, it would be appreciated.

Thank You

Guerra 03/16/00 1:05 AM
RE: need some information

http://aloha.net/~dyc/

I would check out this site, if not then just email Dr. "Driving" James. I'm sure he would be glad to help you out.

shanen 03/15/00 12:39 AM
SWR #8

The first thing that came to my mind when hearing the story was the idea of anger management. There may have been other issue such as gun control or demographics that may have affected the situation. But on an individual basis nothing would have helped more that effective cocntrol of their emotions, in this case anger. I have been trying to control my anger recently since in the past I have displayed it violently is certain situations. For example I would throw things when my favorite football teams would loose or get hot tempered when I wasn't able to find my wallet. finally I realized that there are things that I couldn't control and becoming upset about it would not have changed the outcomes of the situation. For the situations that I could control, I realized that the outcomes were directly related to the events right before as seen in the story. I would then go back and make changes to the step that i thought caused the undesirable outcome. The story had a very unfortunate ending and an ending that clearly shows the effects of anger and the inability to control it. Who knows what may have happened if someone had been able to control themselves and think more rationally. One person may still be alive and many others may have been spared grief.

shenen 03/15/00 12:46 AM
OC #8 (not a place for me)

I know that the solution to situations like this will ultimately lie in the actions of one of the parties involved. However i kept on wondering in what type of location or city (if that's a clearer picture) would you be likely to have two people jump out of their cars with guns drawn and ready to shoot. It seems that I wouldn't want to live there. This means that there may be a greater chance of people that are violent or expressive of their anger willing to kill to release it. Not a place I would want to be

Sandee 03/15/00 11:58 AM
SWR #8

I really don't know why people have to carry a gun around in the car in the first place. What has this country come to? I really don't feel that the world is such an unsafe place where you have to always have a gun with you. I feel that we all need to solve problems without conflict and hostility. I don't understand people who feel that they have to resolves problems with physical violence. That doesn't solve anything at all, but actually creates more problems. I'm starting to wonder if there is too much stress in society. Maybe this is why people get so out of control or take out their frustration on driving.

isabel 03/17/00 12:46 PM
(SWR #9) Road rage shoot out

After reading the TEE card for Ex. 8, I was not surprised to learn about such an incident as the road rage shoot out. All kinds of strange things are happening in our world today. I agree with Dr. James that the two drivers involved could have prevented the situation. But alas, they did not choose their life over their emotions. I think that if someone crashed my car and drove off without doing anything about it, I probably would be really mad but not in the sense that I will resort to acts of violence. I just want to ask the driver about it but not "confront" him. But, if that's the case, I might end up getting shot in the end especially if he has a gun and is very angry. I would not have guessed he has a gun. If I knew he has one and in such a negative emotional state, I won't even think of asking him about the crash. But, if I did not know all these, I may end up dead. I just want to have a word with him but I think that's not right if he just pull out his gun without giving us any chance of communication. I also think that one should not be driving if one has been drinking as it can blur all senses. I think that if the person has not been drinking, the unhappy incident could have been prevented.

Suchrio 07/08/00 6:18 PM
RE: (SWR #9) Road rage shoot out

You have to understand that you are the target. You're the opponent in a boxing ring. You will be made to submit. If you stop to talk, you will be put on the defensive. If you seek to do anything but cowel and beg for forgivness, you might get off with getting spit on for having them clobber your car.


Some fights do happen. I had a friend with a nice, fast and discreet car that ended up putting a lot of distance between him and the agressor. All he wanted to was get to work.
This guy got his beater up to speed and caught him at the next light. Started ramming him into the crossing traffic.
This guy was sporting for a fight. And if you don't think you can be goaded into a fight, it doesn't matter. You can be assaulted just standing still. Human confrotation is a thinking activity. If you stop, you may have to defend yourself. Anybody who's activity on the road is such that requires a road stop and talk is fundamentally, not a logical person. So don't think you can talk to them and get their "inner child" to play nice.


Cell phones are a good thing. Most of the time, you do not have to physically confront someone.

Any city dweller knows that there are some people you can't even glance at without getting their undivided attention. These people drive cars also and haven't usually read Miss Road Manner's Guide to Polite Driving.


I guess I'm trying to dispel the myth that good, honest people can't become principles in a fight/"road rage" incident. You can minimize your risks, but sometimes you have no choice.


-Suchiro (never been in an incident)

LDwiggins 03/15/00 6:57 PM
(OC #9) We can make a difference

It is my opinion that we can make a difference. We can be the example if we are able to practice all we have learned about emotional intellegence. I have been able to share what I have learned in our 409b class with students in other classes. I have questioned my classmates when they expressed their road rage and opened the topic for discussion. I have challenged them to think before acting out their feelings (of anger). They were surprised to hear of the term "charitable thought" although a few of them had incorporated it into their daily driving routine. The one thing most of us forget is that we are all human. To err is human, to forgive devine!

Marissa_ 03/19/00 12:53 AM
RE: (OC #9) We can make a difference (OC)

Yes. We can make a difference. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Just because we see someone tailgate and cuss that does not mean that we should go ahead and do the same too. If someone jumps into the fire, will you jump in too? Lets educate ourselves, and move on to educate others.

LDwiggins 03/15/00 7:14 PM
(SWR #9) Locus of Control

I have taken a test to verify if my locus of control was external or internal. In a nut shell if one is external they are prone to explain events that happen in their lives on external factors (eg: God, others, etc.) On the other side -when one tests internal they are prone to feel they often look to themselves to explain events that happen in their lives. I have tested to have an internal locus of control, although I am judgmental toward others too.

In reading Tee No. 55C2 and 57C2 - Anger Control Strategy - How does it work for you? I found that it is our biased interpretation of all sitations in conjunction with how we are prone to "put blame" that determines how successful we control our anger. I found the strategies to be helpful because they allowed me to look at myself while I drive. I found that taking Psy 409b and Psy 361 in the same semester have reinforced each class. I have learned to be more aware of myself and my actions. One of the themes of Psy 361 is that what we do in this moment determines what happens in the next moment. This allows me to be responsible and accountable in how I handle myself because I am aware what I do will determines what happens next. Therefore I found the anger control strategy useful and further strengthen by Psy 361's philosophy.

shanen 03/19/00 8:07 PM
RC #9: (SWR #9) Locus of Control

It's good to hear that you understand the consequences of your actions. This is where everyone needs to start in order to change. I don't think that he idea of locus of control is spread enough. Everyone seems to blame others first. I guess that it is easier for us to see that others are wrong rather than ourselves. When did you find yourself being judgemental towards others? (in which situations? why didn't you look at yourself first?) It would be interesting to see if you can find a pattern in your actions

Guerra 03/16/00 1:01 AM
OC #9 (My pedestrian experience)

Guess what I did the other day? I went for a jog with my girlfriend and her dog. We only jogged around the block (it takes about twenty minutes), but I noticed something. Out of the eight people that we passed by seven of them said hello to us. The last person was huffing and puffing while he was jogging, so maybe he was concentrating too hard.

This experience sort of made me think "Wow, people are so polite to each other when you are able to see the other person."
I'm not a pedestrian much so I don't notice this type of thing often. I was just wondering this. Does anyone think that the pedestrians which said hello to me are being nice because we aren't in a car? or that they are just nice people?

I'm not sure if this makes sense, but I believe that the type of people who are pedestrians are generally more pleasant people and usually aren't in a rush to get anywhere. Whereas more drivers are grouchy to begin with and are usually in a rush. So maybe the people who said hello to my girlfriend and me are just pleasant people. I feel that if the same grouchy drivers who are "road ragers" were pedestrians, they wouldn't bother to say hello to anyone.

allianic 03/16/00 9:53 PM
RE: RC#9 - G13 (My pedestrian experience)

Hey! I have noticed that pedestrians are a lot friendlier towards one another than drivers are. I also noticed that when I am walking, a lot of people are very polite and if one of them accidentally bumps into me, they always say that they are sorry in a nice way. They don’t swear at me or show me the finger or anything rude like that. But when people are in cars it is a different story. I think that people feel that when they are behind the wheel it is easier for them to be rude or to show their frustration and anger. Cars are like masks. When someone can’t really tell who you are or really see you, you can pretty much act however you want. I think that people know this and so they act in ways they normally wouldn’t. If you yell at someone and you are in your car, you can just drive away. But if you are walking on the sidewalk, then you have to deal with what the other person will to do you and it is much more threatening that doing it while you are in your car. But I also agree with you that pedestrians are in general more pleasant than drivers because they don’t have to deal with all of the stuff that drivers have to deal with.

allianic 03/16/00 9:41 PM
SWR #9 - G13

There are many television programs that show Drivers Behaving Badly. One program is Friends. Phoebe sometimes drives her grandmothers cab and she can't drive at all. They constantly make jokes about driving and she does a few things from the list like taking her eyes off the road, yelling at other drivers and pedestrians, and driving in a reckless manner. There are also many movies that are shown on television that have Drivers Behaving Badly. I just watched My Best Friend's Wedding recently and Cameron Diaz drives terribly in that movie. She constantly looks at the person she is talking to while driving, she switches lanes abruptly without signaling, she speeds, and she drives while she is really upset and not thinking straight. There are also many action movies that show bad driving. Movies where there are car chases, people trying to run others over, and drivers trying to shoot people while driving. Many children watch these kinds of shows and then they think that it is okay for them to drive that way too without getting hurt. People drink and drive on television and they get home okay. That could make children think that drinking and driving is okay. In movies, people just driver recklessly period and many children as well as adults get influenced by the kinds of driving they see on television. My brother is eleven years old and he watches a lot of action movies and he thinks that people can really drive that way and not get hurt. It scares me to think that when he gets his liscense, he just might try to drive the way people drive in movies. I think that it would help him a lot to have my parents sit him down and talk to him about Drivers Behaving Badly on television and what is really safe and what is not. I hope that eventually all parents will talk to their children about what driving is really like and let their children know that the way driving is portrayed in movies is definitely not safe and not real.

faylogna 03/17/00 12:35 PM
RE: RC#9

I don't think that you should just leave it to your parents to talk to your eleven-year-old brother. As a very concern sibling why not take the role to talk to him. Probably, you will be able to relate to him more because you are his sister. There's not a huge age gap between the two of you and it diminishes a parent-child relationship. I think that children are more often scare to say what they think and feel in a parent-child relationship. They are not comfortable to question why things are the way they are. They basically, take what the parent said and leave it at that. HOwever, because you are his sister and not a parent, he will feel you are able to know where he is coming from, therefore, greatly connect to him. The feeling and respect that he gives you is different than compared to what he gives to your parents.

Also, because you are taking this class you probably will know more than your parents. Think about it.

allianic 03/17/00 5:02 PM
RE: RC#9

I would talk to my brother myself, but my family lives on Kaua'i and I haven't been home since this semester started. But I know that I know more about this stuff than my parents do and I fully intend on talking to all of them when I get home for Spring BReak! Thanks=)

ry409 03/17/00 4:11 PM
RE: SWR #9 - G13 (My RC #9)

I agree with you when you said that children are developing their driving behavior before they are ever even behind the wheel. The movies that kids watch in a theatre or on tv are filled with examples of DBB. They don't portray properly what can happen if someone really does crash into something or somebody. In the movies the driver is always able to get up and start running after the bad guy when in realy life the driver might be dead or paralyzed from a driving accident of that magnitude.

I think what's important to remember that children of today will be the drivers of tomorrow. If we don't lead by example they will be driving with misconceptions of what behaviors drives need to use in order to keep our roadways safe for everyone. It was interesting to read in your SWR that your brother is eleven, which is four or five years younger than the age when he will be able to get his permit and he already has the wrong idea of what can happen to a driver and the passengers in a car that is involved in risky dangerous bahavior. Proving that children are developing patterns of thinking about a behavior that they won't even be eligible to do for several more years.

robsolmssen 04/06/00 12:57 PM
RE: SWR #9 - G13

I definetly feel that people rely too much on television to show them how to run their lives. Parents must show their kids that TV is wrong. Despite the scenarios "looking" accurate, they, in fact, are extremely misrepresentative of real life scenerios.

allianic 03/16/00 10:04 PM
OC#9 - G13

I think that driving in movies and television shows is really unrealistic. They don't show the true consequences of driving recklessly. No matter how bad the driver is, they are always okay in the end. People who watch these shows see the actors just driving any way they want to drive. And regular people think that they can do that as well. People in movies never take the precautions to drive safely and nothing bad ever happens to them. And actors are bad influences on drivers because they can do any kinds of things while driving and they are safe. Things like playing the game "chicken" while driving. Or like switching from one car to another while they are both speeding on the freeway. Adn also things like in the movie The Program, where some people lay in the middle of the road. I believe that some children actaully tried it out and they died, so they had to cut that part out of the movie. I think that movies and television programs portrayal of driving is very dangerous to all of the people who watch them.

kelamuch 04/28/00 2:43 AM
OC#9

I know that television and movies are the worst examples of safe driving, but I would also assume that many people know this and don't follow their model of driving. Acutally, I guess its hard to really say what people will or won't do...I mean maybe I'm giving drivers too much credit by saying they know the scenes on TV and in movies are fake and won't try to copy them because people do attempt some really dumb things. I guess what we need to do is just educate all drivers about the dangers on the road and the consequences of their actions.

faylogna 03/17/00 1:26 PM
OC#9: Imitating what we see

I think that the images we see on tv and movies have the most profound negative examples to driving safely. You see many car chase, speeding, weaving in and out of lanes, and most of all inattentive driving. Most of the time these type of behavior result to crashes that the people involve are not severely harm. Why is that? Do the people have super power that prevents them to be harm. Basically, what we are seeing are stuns done souly for our entertainment. They are unrealistic. However, even though it is UNREALISTIC some people out there still try to imitate it. And when they are caught, they end up blaming Hollywood. How lacking of intelligence is that. I don't think Hollywood should be fully blame for what they are portraying on the screen, because if people are against what they see then why still watch movies and programs that have vehicles crashes.

The things we see on tv/movies are there purely for our entertainment. It is not meant to be imitated. However, because there are some people in the world that are crazy enough to do what they see, I think Hollywood should take the role to advise their viewers that it is just a stun. There should be a message at the end of the program where it addresses the problem and what can it be done that a viewer can take with them.

isabel 03/21/00 6:16 PM
(OC #10) RE: OC#9: Imitating what we see

I agree with you that Hollywood should not be blamed for the type of movies that they have created which involve many cases of bad driving. But, I also think that the media can have a huge influence on people, especially children who cannot yet differentiate between what is realistic and what is not. Sometimes, the many messages that the media send out can be subtle. I mean people may realize that it is not realistic or just for entertainment but the messages may get stuck in the back of their minds or unconsciously without them even knowing that and then they do certain things without realizing what they are doing. I agree with you that Hollywood should take the role to advice their viewers about certain things such as having a message that addresses the problem similar to the message of "there may be violent material and parental discretion is adviced" that they have in some of the programs. This will make people more aware of the things involved. On a further note, viewers really have no control over the content of movies and programs. They are bound to see some bad media portrayals of things etc no matter what kind of movies or tv programs they see unless you tell them not to go to the movies or watch TV. What I think the media can do though if they are slightly concerned about its viewers is to take the role to advise the viewers whenever it is necessary.

faylogna 03/17/00 2:10 PM
SWR#9:

I know that Hollywood is the ruler of negative driving behavior style. As an adult viewer I am pretty amaze by the things I see on tv/movies. I sometimes wonder what would it be like going 100 mph, weaving in and out of traffic, chasing another car, and crashing at the end without getting hurt. If I was able to imagine that, then just think what could go in a child's mind. Probably, many imaginations that are unrealistic. Therefore, it is important that we educated our younger generations and distinguish between realistic and unrealistic.

I am convince to say that Dr. James was right when he said at the beginning of this semester that we learn to drive from the time we are riding along with out parents in our car seat. I've notice that my three and half year old niece is aware with her surrounding when we are to driving somewhere. She corrects my older brother in times that he may be in a bad mood and everything on the road irritates him. She tells him, "don't yell daddy" (at other drivers) or "daddy don't get angry at mommy." She knows this because my brother talks to her at times when they are driving. I think that talking to our young generation have a great impact. And educating them should start from the time they can walk. I am pretty proud at my niece, because she disprove my belief that children under five can not think for themselves what's right and wrong.

blinking 03/19/00 4:13 PM
rc#9

I agree, that educating the children is the first step. It is also not too late for us to alter our own driving habbits. The children need to be led by example, and it is up to us to set a good example to follow. It is also up to us to nurture the learning experiences of our children. It does no good to tell them what to do and then do the opposite. We should all practice what we preach.

ry409 03/17/00 3:59 PM
SWR #9

I had the opportunity last night to sit down in front of the TV and watch music videos on Mtv with my younger sisters. It was very interesting to hear what they tought about the kinds of driving they saw in the videos. On of my sisters is just starting to drive. Seh just recently got her license. My other younger sister is two years aways from getting her pertmit. So I was able to get unique persepectives about driving in music videos. The first video that came up and was and Nsync video "Bye Bye Bye". I this video there is a scence where two of the groups members are being chased by a woman and they are trying desparately to get away. Not only is the car chase moving at high speeds but they are driving on a narrow two-lane mountain dirt road on the edge of a cliff. The driver was guilty of committing several DBB insidences. He took his eyes off of the road several times, he was involved in a chase, he seemed to be driving in a confused mental state or at least he wasn't in the proper frame of mind to be driving, and his passenger kept getting out of his seat while the car was in the chase. I asked my sisters what they thought about the way driving was portrayed in the video. The older of the two sisters told me that his driving was dangerous, but she also said that it looked fun. I asked what the consequences of someone driving like that would be. She told me that maybe someone might get hurt but that it wouldn't be a serious injury. The younger of my two sisters told me that the driver was driving kind of crazy and that someone might get killed or seriously hurt in real life. I think she might have been more concerned because she's such an Nsync fan she wouldn't want anything to happen to the lead singer.

I think the kind of driving environment that both of these two sisters are in clearly affects that severity concerning DBB. The older of my two sisters has already been involved in two accidents. She wasn't the driver but she was in the car. None of the girls were seriously hurt. They were mostly afraid of what was going to happen to them when their parents found out what happened. So to her it's not the lives of the people in the car that mostly concerns her or other people's lives in the cars that they hit, but the actions that will be taken upon them by her parents when they find out. My younger sister who isn't driving yet only rides with her parents and sometimes her older siblings like me for instance. She has never been in an accident and has for the most part only been a passenger in a driving environment where there were good drivers. I think that this affects her feelings about what can happen to people in an accident mostly that they could get seriously injured or even die.

blinking 03/19/00 4:04 PM
SWR #9

I do agree that driving lessons begin way before we even sit down behind the driver's seat. It begins with watching our parents and watching tv. I watched a few kids playing, the other day, and they were playing with toy cars...thier favorite action was to crash them into each other. That got me thinking....when I watch cartoons or just regular tv, the commercials that hey have now promote crashing cars or racing cars. There's a cartoon dedicated to cars that race...the commercials for leading toy-makers involve cars going in loop-de-loops and then crashing into each other...I'm sure when kids grow older, they realize that somethings are not possible with real cars, but I kind of think that some of the fantasy carries over into adult life. In short, I think that sitting down with children and explaining to them what kinds of things on tv, not necessarily only driving, are real and not is integral to the raising of a child. A CARR workbook would be a great resource.

kuni99 03/19/00 11:14 PM
RE: RC#9

I think this is totally true. My son got one of those car crashing loop toys for his birthday and all the kids went crazy trying out the toy and got a real kick when the cars crashed. Kids do learn what they know from the people around them and what they are exposed to on television and it's so amazing how the danger of it in the real world doesn't seem to affect them.

jamesy69 03/20/00 8:48 PM
RC: SWR #9

I think children also become influenced by the video games they play that depict reckless driving as fun. Children are getting the wrong impression about driving at a early age and are starting to engage in activities that are aggressive. I know children who want whoever is driving them to drive fast, trying to simulate what they experience playing driving games. Children need to understand that they cannot start over again, like in a video game when they crash and burn. It is important for parents to monitor the activites of their children and try to make sure their children understand that there are consequences for their actions.

blinking 03/19/00 4:17 PM
OC #9

Did anyone read the Sunday comics last week, or was it a week ago? Anyhoo, there was the comic SALLLY FORTH...in this comic strip, she talked about how she was so mad that someone cut her off and sped by her. She told her husband that she tried to imagine that the other person was a doctor racing to save someone's life. Her husband asked her how it worked out.....she replied that it was okay if doctors drive pizza trucks now! ;)

shanen 03/19/00 8:01 PM
SWR #9

I don't have any younger siblings that I see on a regular basis, but I took the time to watch TV and criticize the drivers. (Who thought that I would need to watch TV for school). I found that there are both good habits and bad habits. Hollywood is very irresponsible for showing so much speeding and reckless driving. Not to mention there are many movies in which drivers or their passengers are drinking, for example "Tommy Boy" with Chris Farley and David Spade. Alcohol should not even be used in the same sentence as driving. This movie also depicted unrealistic consequences. Many people would see driving behavior in this movie as being humorous while in fact they can be extremely dangerous. They swerved and spun, drove off the road, and even had their hood flop up in their faces while driving, yet no harm was done. They were very lucky, in fact unrealistically lucky. However I did notice that they did put on their seat belts. A very important part of staying alive on the road. But many people would not notice this. In reality people get hurt and Hollywood's depiction of unrealistic consequences may affect people's driving habits. There are many movies and shows that show bad habits of various sorts. It will be a bad thing if young drivers formed these habits from TV or the movies. how can we hold Hollywood more accountable for such depictions?

shanen 03/19/00 8:24 PM
OC #9 Speeding Urges?

Anyone feel the need to speed? Anyone find they speed too much? I have been a racing fan for a long time. However I have kept "freeway racing" to an absolute zero. (This doesn't mean that I don't speed) But I don't engage in "freeway racing" where drivers "call each other out" on the freeways and race each other in traffic at various times of the day. This is something that is undescribably dangerous. I have begun going to a racing event that happens on the second Sunday of each month. It's called SCCA Solo II or Autocrossing. Drivers are timed as they go around a highly technical coned course. You don't go wheel to wheel with others but race only against the clock. The top speed doesn't usually exceed 60 mph. Ave speed is about 30 mph. I found that it relieves my need to be competitive and it teaches me about the limits and abilities of my car (something that everyone should know). It's a blast. I encourage everyone to come try. All cars are welcome. There are even station wagons and trucks so don't worry about your car not being a sports car. It has cured my speeding on freeways. I'll have more on my website, http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/409as2000/nishimoto/home.html

kuni99 03/19/00 11:10 PM
SWR#9

I think that children are exposed to so much bad driving on the television and in movies, that they become immune to the possible danger that is involved in bad driving. I have experienced this with my kids when I am driving. They're always telling me to look at something that they see while I'm driving which would mean taking my eyes off the road. Sometimes they even get upset because I miss seeing something that we've already passed. In talking to my kids, they did report seeing a lot of bad driving on t.v. and even in some commercials. It would be very difficult to prevent them from watching cable t.v. in order to shield them from viewing bad driving because it is in the commericals on the local stations as well.

tanthony 03/20/00 1:32 PM
RC-9

I don't think it would be realistic to expect to shield your children from all bad examples of driving. Even if they are not watching tv, they can see it in movies, in video games, probably comic books, on the road.... I think the point of this exercise is that we can't keep children from bad influences so we have to have discussions with them that point out what is wrong with what they have seen. With our positive input, hopefully the bad stuff they have seen will be counteracted.

kuni99 03/19/00 11:20 PM
OC#9

I think it would take a lot more than discussion forums to solve this problem because companies that promote their products through bad driving aren't going to change their approach if it sells their product. Also, movie producers aren't going to change the scene of a movie in order to please parents of young children due to this type of negative exposure. It's really sad that our society's first priority is making money and not keeping our children from the exposure of developing an immunity to the dangers of bad driving.

Guerra 03/19/00 11:27 PM
RE: OC#9 (my rc#9)

I have to agree that many people's first priority is making money. I mean look at what happened with smoking, they used to use teenagers or very young adults in their commercials. That is plain old stupid. But, they were forced to stop. Maybe we can similarly, at least, restrict bad driving scenes in movies. I have to honestly say that I do enjoy watching action movies. And I don't mind watching a car chase.

Oh well, hasn't the same thing been said about violence? Especially when those two kids shot up the school. I remember reading about adults complaining that video games promote violent acts. Thinking about this makes me wonder. Maybe it is just that some people are naturally aggressive, therefore violent and bad drivers? These people probably can't be taught very easily to be peaceful or better drivers. Therefore, what does it matter if movies depict bad driving. Just my two cents!

tanthony 03/20/00 7:18 PM
OC-9

It seems to me, that millions of people including myself watch violence, bad driving, and whatever other "bad influences" there are in the media. I see it but I don't kill people and I'm not a reckless driver. I would have to say that the overwhelming majority of people are just like me, we can seperate entertainment from what should be done in real life. I think that those people who may gain inspiration from watching these things are few and they are obviously lacking in emotional intelligence. I think the idea should be to change these people, not necessarily the media, although I think the media can go too far sometimes.

jamesy69 03/20/00 9:59 PM
RE: OC#9

I think the sad part of our society is that we enjoy seeing acts of violence portrayed in movies. If we didn't enjoy the movies, producers would stop producing them. Our society is fascinated with these types of movies that utilize special effects that captivate our minds. As technology becomes more advanced we become more engrossed with how real a movie can become. Because of this, it is hard for us to watch movies with less special effects and action. Parents though are the key factor in regulating what their children watch. Parents need to step up and intervene in their childrens lives instead of having the media depict what they should watch. Being a parent is becoming more and more difficult with the competition they are facing with music bands, actors, and movies. Parents need to realize that they are the ones that will influence their children the most.

tanthony 03/20/00 1:45 PM
SWR-9

I think what I have to say first is, thank goodness I don't have any children. I know that having children is a big responsibility and it just seems to be getting bigger. Knowing that we should keep an eye on the driving situations that children see, makes me aware of all kinds of other things that could be setting bad examples for children. I think the thing about entertainment of all kinds is that it is based on things that we can't do and shouldn't do. It is a means of escape from our own "boring" lives. If entertainment isn't filled with scandel, violence, excitement, who would want to watch it? It wouldn't be quite as entertaining anymore. Even as adults, I think some people get bad ideas from entertainment sources. So if adults can't be expected to understand where lines should be drawn, how can we expect children to do so? It really points to the fact that we do need to discuss things like bad driving with them.

ry409 03/21/00 12:47 PM
RE: SWR-9(My OC #9)

Well Yes I think that it is a great responsibility to make sure that our children have the opportunity to grow and develop positively by leading them in the right direction. It has long since been know that children learn best from example and not from being told what to do. Knowing this is one thing but more importantly is what we do with this information. It is up to adults to take the proper steps to ensure that children will be acting with the knowledge of what is right and wrong behavior. I think that driving is something that is easily overlooked. Many of us driving today probably drive like out parents. That many be good or bad depending upon our parents driving habits. The point to remember is that we almost never attribute our own driving habits to our experiences of being a passenger at age 5 or 6. We tend to think that it is much closer to 14 or 15 when we are actually getting close to the age or getting the driving permits. So bottom line is be aware of the actions that you put forward whever you around children in a car, because you are directly affecting their future driving habits.

ABumanglag 03/20/00 8:12 PM
SWR#9

While I was watching t.v. this morning, I noticed an example of bad driving as indicated in this week's exercise. What surprised me is that I witnessed the bad driving example on the Flinstones. In this particular episode of Flinstones, Fred and Barney were late for a golf tournament so they decided to take shortcuts. This involved driving under water, over a cliff, through a hotel, etc. I found it funny actually, because it coinsided perfectly with this week's exercise (not to mention the fact that Fred and Barney made it to the golf tournament on time!!!) Anyway, I know that there's a lot of talk about what consequences t.v. programs have on children's behavior. However, in the case of driving, I'm not sure if t.v. programs like the Flinstones have too much of an effect on aggressive driving. After all, every one starts driving around the age of 15. I think that at that point, people have pretty much figured out that what you see on t.v. is not real. Regardless of what we see on t.v., I think that our parents and friends are perhaps a stronger influence on our driving abilities. After all, they are the ones who teach us how to drive.

shizue 03/22/00 12:27 PM
OC #9

I have to agree with you that our parents and family have the biggest influence over us. The only way that television will really become "reality" and what you follow as a role model is if you don't have sufficient support and talking to by your own guardians. Without guidance from anyone else, children will have no choice but to turn to such things as television and cartoons to learn about life and driving. We need parents to start stepping in and taking responsibility for their children. . . I know that I'm sure glad my mom and dad were always there for me! If we can teach parents to be more involved in their child's life from the time they are a baby all the way up until well past 18 then the next generation will not have quite so many problems on the road as well as in schools and other areas that are just a mess right now.

jamesy69 03/20/00 10:37 PM
SWR #9

Driving behaviors portrayed on TV can lead to serious consequences if this is the only source they are learning from. Even though children may mature and realize what they are seeing is fake, they may have developed tendencies similar to those portrayed on TV. This may include speeding, vocalizing aggressive emotions, and driving aggressively. I've seen cartoons where people run over each other, crash into each other and even explode. I know that most children watching these cartoons would understand that these actions are not acceptable behavior but it does not stop them from acting out these behaviors. The TV violence only seems to be getting worse and worse. Because of this parents need to be aware of what their children are watching and impliment strict guidelines for their protection. Even though there is a overwhelming source of competition coming from TV, parents need to realize that they influence their children the most.

ABumanglag 03/21/00 2:19 AM
RC#9:RE: SWR #9

I agree with your idea that parents have a great influence on their children's driving behaviors. I feel that this is probably a stronger influence compared to the influence of t.v. I think that by the time people begin to drive, they already have an understanding that t.v. shows are for pure entertainment. This means that (since people start driving around the age of 15) they can already identify the driving behaviors portrayed on t.v. as being fake. Therefore, I don't think that TV is really much of an influence on our driving behaviors. The major influences arises from what we witness in the real world. In other words, our real experiences as drivers and passengers are what influence our driving behaviors the most, not what we see on tv.

isabel 03/21/00 5:45 PM
(RC #10) Re: SWR #9

I think the media has a huge influence on viewers both adults and children alike. I have to say that I myself sometimes get misled by the media especially the media portrayal of many things such as the concept of beauty. At first, I thought that those models on the front page cover of many magazines are real. It is not until very recently that I realize that they are not real people but computer generalized images. I found that out from a psychology class that I took. Other people who don't know may be fooled into believing that and spending a lot of unnecessary money and time in losing weight and such. As you can see, the media is that powerful. There are also many fake get-rich schemes and pyramid schemes around in our society. If you are not careful enough, you will fall for them. Needless to say, portrayals of bad driving on the media has a huge influence on viewers too especially children who do not have much knowledge and judgement about things. Even adults do these kinds of things, not to mention the impact the media has on children. Hence, the only way to protect oneself from the media is to start educating the children at an early age. We cannot control the media, but we can educate the children so that they will be immune to the negative influences of media. It is just like there is nothing we can do about those people who are contributing to the issue of road rage but we can train ourselves not to be like one of them. Hence, parents can really play a decisive role in how their children are going to turn out.

Guerra 03/20/00 10:49 PM
SWR #9

First off, did anyone try that message bay thing? If they did reply to my post because I want to listen to it. I have a microphone at home but I'm too shame to talk over the internet. (hahaha)
Just as my two cents, this new format seems alot better, except it takes me longer to load the pages now. Good thing I have roadrunner.

I have to say that all four of the activities to do with your children sound very good. I will make sure to remember this when I have children. If not they'll get plenty of tickets like me.

Anyway, the only thought I have regarding this tee card is that I always watched cartoons with car chases, etc, etc. I used to "play car" or whatever it is called with my friends. Or we would use our little bikes and bang each other. Yeah we got hurt a little, but turned out to be fine drivers. Maybe we got a ticket or in my case three+, but I don't think I'm the most dangerous driver.

My point is that I feel the most dangerous drivers have problems to begin with. This means that there should be stricter requirements to drive a car. I've said this in other posts and I'll say it again, I would be very happy if many people were not allowed to drive. If this includes me, then so be it. My fault if I can't pass the test.

Dr. James' idea of CARR is still a good idea. Except for the fact that the children that probably need this program, have parents who believe that they themselves are good drivers. Oh well.

shizue 03/22/00 12:23 PM
RC #9

I have to agree with you that most dangerous drivers do already have numerous psychological problems to begin with. Besides not being able to accept the fact that they are not the best drivers, they probably don't see themselves as having too many problems in any area of their life and always tend to blame others for their misfortunes. I, too, would be extremely happy if these people were not allowed to drive anymore because I would feel more safe driving on the road and when I have kids I will feel better knowing that the road is a safer place for them to be on too. Often times children suffer because of their parents who lack skills to pass on to them.

ry409 03/21/00 1:57 PM
SWR-#10

I think I already discussed something similar to this week's topic about giving drivers the benefit of the doubt. I talked about changing the way you think and feel when another driver does something that you just think is the most idiotic action anyone could ever commit. The suggestions given in No.55C2 are right up this alley. There are three things from that list that I use as higher feelings to combat my lower feelings. First I always try to think that the person didn't see me because they were sick and really not feeling well. That helps me to excuse their action because we all know what it is like or at least I do, when you are just so sick and only want to crawl into bed but have to drive somewhere.

The second thing that I tend to think about is that the person is elderly. I try to extra patient when dealing with the elderly. I have a little more excperience in this area than most because I help to take care of my grandma and I volunteer at a care home for the elderly. The most important thing that I learned was that most of the elderly want to and wish that they could move faster of talk faster but it's just not possible. It takes a little more time for them to react to things and this pertains to driving as well. My sister on the other hand has no patients for the elderly. Her view is that they should not be able to drive after say 65. I try to explain to her that everyone is living longer and longer these day. When we are that age we wouldn't want somebody telling us we cant' drive becasue we are too old. I don't think that she can think about something like that now but it really is relevant to all of our situations.

The third higher feeling that helps me to combat my lower feelings are drivers who are inexperienced. I know that this one is hard because like anything we consider ourselves to be experts at driving bad habits and all. The things is that we were all inexperienced nervous drivers when we first started out. We were kind of scared to change lanes and tried to remember the procedures for everything like which comes first check the right side mirror of turn on the blinker. That was hard enough without having to worry about the people we maybe holding up. We have to remember that passing on bad habits doesn't stop just because we have our liscense. My behaing badly to new drivers we may impacting the way new drivers feel they should behave toward other new drivers. It's a cycle that would never have to be broken if it were never started, so let's not start it.

shizue 03/22/00 12:43 PM
RC #10

I totally agree with you on the elderly thing and new driver thing! I know that for my grandparents they really wish that they could move and react as well as they used to and they feel really bad when they hold people up because they move so slow. Whenever I encounter an elderly driver (of which there are plenty in Manoa) I am always extra patient because I know that it's not their fault. Their bodies are only physically capable of doing so much and they really are trying to do their best. Whenever I see a student driver out on the road I too am patient as well. I remember what it was like when I was first learning to drive. There is already enough pressure from your driving teacher as well as yourself, added pressure from other drivers can just drive you insane! Student drivers are also trying their best and we have to cut them some slack.

shanen 03/28/00 12:11 AM
RE: SWR-#10

I agree with your three things. However do you think that one or all of these people present possible risks when driving. For exapmle, I remember when I was sick and tried to drive, i could barely concentrate on the road. I'm pretty sure that I shouldn't have driven because I don't really remember how I got home. I posed a threat to others on the road. SEcond, we always see elderly on the road. At what point do their driving capabilities diminish so badly that they pose a threat to others on the road. I agree that skills and abilities increase with experience, but first time drivers also pose a threat to others on the road because of their lack of experience. THey may not be as bad and usually learn quickly. I guess I'm trying to figure out when people's judgements become impaired enough so that they pose a threat to others. It may be a fine line but I think that it isn't only drunks that pose threats to others on the roads.

ry409 03/28/00 9:58 AM
RE: SWR-#10 (My RC # 10)

I can see that there might be a danger if someone were very ill to the point where it was affecting there driving. I think that in that instance it would be best not to be driving, but unfortunately for most of us illness is not an excuse for putting our lives on hold. I am absolutely not suggesting that people should get into their car and drive if they are not feeling well but to be aware that there are people on the road that may not be driving perfectly or as fast as you would like them to be because they are ill.

Elderly drivers are another important issue that should be addressed. I do agree that there is an age where people are no longer able to drive safely because there reaction times are too slow or because they are not able to interperate the cues around them. The problem is that each person ages differently. There may be some 60 year olds and drive like some 80 year olds and vise versa. Basically what I'm trying to say is that all of us have different cognitive abilities that deteriorate at varying speeds and degrees. To pass a law which would take away the license of all elderly would be a gross form of discrimination.

One possible solution might be to test drivers ability before they are able to renew their licenses. This test should not only be given to the elderly but should also be used to periodically test younger drivers as well because age is by no means an indicator of good driving.

shanen 03/29/00 10:50 PM
RC #?: SWR-#10 (My RC # 10)

Did you guys hear what happened to those two 442nd RCT veterans who were killed by their friend while he was backing up? The news did a few stories on this. When talking about abilities and the physical capabilities of elders, eye sight came up. They interviewed a person who worked at one of the city hall locations and he said that "we do an eye check to see that they have the 'ability' to operate a motor vehicle". Maybe those weren't the exact words, but I thought, "How the heck can you measure a person's ability to operate a motor vehicle by taking an eye test?!" I agree that more needs to be done. I figure that they won't do actual driving tests for renewals because it will take too much time and money. Can we try? Maybe the incidents of traffic accidents will decrease.

Now, a license needs to be renewed every 6 years if you are between the ages of 18 and 71. I think that there needs to be some way of making sure every one can still drive safely.

There are also 300 drivers over the age of 90 and 3 over the age of 98. (Statistics given on the news)

Wow! I give them credit but I'm still worried about their abilities.

isabel 03/21/00 5:04 PM
(SWR #10)Pedestrain Training Curriculum

I think the pedestrian training curriculum is a good idea. It gives good suggestions on how to be a better pedestrian which helps to make the roads a better place. It is also a good idea to implement the pedestrian training curriculum into the schools' curriculum. The pedestrian training curriculum covers safety principles, human rights issues and emotional intelligence that everyone should know. I think the curriculum should be taught to children at a young age so that it will become their second nature or habits. This can also help to reduce stress on the roads. When I was small, there was no such thing as a pedestrian training curriculum in my schools (in Asia). Nevertheless, I have been a fairly good pedestrian so far. This is not to say that a pedestrian training curriculum is not necessary. I think the curriculum will only make things better. On a further note, I have walked in crowded places many times before but I did not really think much about it. In those days, pedestrian rage or other kinds of rage were unheard of. It never constitutes such an issue that everyone talks about it. They do exist but people normally don't think that much about it. I think I got stressed or angered in crowded places but not to the extent that I will do anything stupid or silly. I think noone likes crowded places. It is just normal for people to feel stressed in crowded places. It is however not right if people act inappropriately to other people because of how they are feeling. Hence, a pedestrian training curriculum is necessary in this sense and would be really effective if it can be implemented in the schools' curriculum at an early stage of a child's growth or development. I think it is important in our society since there has been so much concern about traffic rage nowadays.

ShaunnaM 04/06/00 1:23 PM
RC #9 to SWR#10

I think a Pedestrian Training curriculum may be a little extreme, although I am not putting down the idea of teaching people how to be better, safer pedestrians. I think techniques should be taught from the start, it is too difficult to assume all parents to teach children the right way, so as soon as the children enter school, different examples and exercises should be taught. In my elementary school I can remember being taught the rights and wrongs of crossing the road and I feel that I know am a good pedestrian now. I don't think too many people would take take a class seriously if it were not integrated into shcooling already.

iyang 03/22/00 12:37 AM
SWR #5

I would say that I’m more like a phase 2 driver. I don’t have any competitive feelings toward other drivers when I’m driving. My goal behind the wheel is to get to the destination without any complications. However, I have to admit that I sometimes have problems with cognitive and sensori-motor self in phase 1. For example, I become over-critical with other drivers especially if I’m in a jammed traffic. And, negative cognitive status usually result negative sensori-motor self such as feeling stressed out and yelling. I think it’s because I haven’t developed sufficient skills to manage my emotions yet. Even though my initial goal is positive, it’s not enough for becoming a phase 2 driver.

iyang 03/22/00 12:39 AM
SWR #6

Many of the hints that Dr. Driving suggest for managing anger are easy to remember and follow. Among those, the Castanza technique and the Driving Diary are the two things that I want to try. I’m familiar with other techniques such as counting ten, making funny noises, and thinking of alternatives. All of these techniques are helpful in reducing the anger by stopping negative thoughts to spread, and therefore them to monopolize your emotions.

shizue 03/22/00 12:34 PM
SWR #9

The CARR program sounds like a great idea for children. Not so much because it focuses on bad driving on television and forces them to think about realistic situations as opposed to those made up ones on television. But also, because it forces the parents to spend time talking with their children. It is this interaction between parent and child which will help to build up their communication skills and thereby build a stronger relationship for later. The main problem with all areas of our society today including violence and horrific driving is that as children, these people were not brought up with strong families, friends, and guardians who took the time to talk with them and teach them all the necessary skills they would need in life. As a result, they made their own path and unfortunately have to learn things the hard way. Television only becomes reality when there is nothing else for them to cling on to.

Hatsumi 03/26/00 3:39 PM
RE: SWR #9 - My RC #9

It's a sad, but true thing that parents don't talk to their kids about what's on television and in the movies. In today's society with both parents forced to work at least one job apiece in order to pay the rent and keep food on the table, parents don't have time to talk to their kids about what they watch on television.

I consider myself very fortunate that when I was growing up, only my father worked, and my mother was always at home to be an attentive, responsible role model. I figure that this is because for an undergraduate college student, I'm a little older than most, so I come from a different time or era. Kids today don't have that unless they're from a particularly wealthy family. A lot of people are very proud of the fact that women are such a strong component of the work force today. But they're missing something really big. In order to accomodate all these jobs for a population that didn't used to work, the cost of living has risen to a place where both parents HAVE to work. So, what do we do with our children?

I'm a divorced, single mother and I don't have enough time to spend with my son, who is 6 years old. He lives with his father during the week and I get him on the weekends. This is primarily because I'm a student and don't have the means to afford child care. When he's with me, however, I try to be responsible for what he watches on television and if there's something inappropriate in my opinion, he doesn't watch it. Period. I make sure he understands that TV, especially the realm of cartoons, is not real life. We talk about everything.

There are some efforts by television to educate kids about what is real and what is not. The two examples that come to mind are The Power Rangers and Sailor Moon. Both shows have a lesson or moral kind of thing at the end of the show that tells kids about violence, fighting, daydreaming, homework, or whatever. There should be more things like this, I think.

shizue 03/22/00 12:39 PM
SWR #10

I really like the idea of thinking about the driving environment as a neighborhood. I tried this out this past week and found that by thinking of other drivers out there as my neighbors, I tended to be more understanding when they did ceertain things. Ever since I took this class I've really been trying to think about the other drivers feelings and emotions and why they may be doing what they are doing. I always try to think of some reason for their actions, like they are late in picking up their child, they are on the way to the hospital, etc. Realizing that other people out there are not under the best of circumstances either, makes me more compassionate towards them. I really like the breathing technique as well. I use them whenever I start to feel angry whether it's on the road, at home, at work. Sitting back and taking the time to just breathe really helps to calm me down.

allianic 03/22/00 7:51 PM
RE: SWR #10

I also think that the idea of your driving environment as a neighborhood is nice. I think that in general, neighbors are pretty good to each other. So if people felt that other drivers were like their neighbors, then they would probably treat them with the same respect they treat their neighbors. I have also tried to be more understanding towards other drivers. And instead of getting angry, I just think about how I would want other drivers to behave towards me if I was in a situation that made me drive badly (like if I was sick or something like that). I think that I will try out that breathing technique the next time I am driving and become upset. I know that it works for me when I become angry with my little brother.

faylogna 03/24/00 3:58 PM
RE: SWR #10

I think this class have taught us a lot about relating to others in the highway. For me, I know that it is because of this class that I am more of a caring and understanding person towards my fellow drivers out there. Now, I always thinking about the other drivers and thinking twice. It is in the sense that I have become less selfish of myself and more focus on others, which I like.

allianic 03/22/00 7:36 PM
SWR #10 - G13

After reading the tee card, I thought a lot about why drivers drive the way they do sometimes. Whenever people feel that someone is driving bad, everyone always assumes that it is because the driver is being dumb or he/she just plain doesn't know how to drive. No one ever thinks about whether or not the driver is sick, or if the driver has children in the car, or if the drivers are old, or if they are inexperienced. But when you are the person in the car with tons of children, or if you are the person that is driving for like the third time in your life, you expect that the other drivers would show you some courtesy and help you out a little be not getting upset or angry and either showing you the finger or yelling at you or honking their horn at you. I think that if people took the time to think about these things that they would be better drivers because they would be able to relate to other people's feelings and situations. Just the other day, I became kind of irritated with a driver because he was going way too slow in front of me. I remember thinking that he must be doing it on purpose just to get the other drivers behind him upset. But then I took a better look and I realized that the driver was a tourist and he was trying to get somwhere, but wasn't sure where he was going and did not want to end up making a wrong turn or head in the wrong direction. He looked very nervous and it seemed like he felt bad that he was holding up other drivers. Then I felt sorry for him instead of anygry because I remembered wh at it was like to be a tourist and not really know where you are going and not wanting to spend all of your time on the road with a map in your hands. I think that if all people tried to think this way, drivers would be happier and safer.

blinking 03/25/00 12:29 PM
RE: SWR #10 - G13

I don't know if it is the perfectionist in me or not, but when I go to somewhere I am not familiar with, I try to prepare myself as best as possible. I would look at a map and try to figure out landmarks that would help me find my way, this is all if I could not get directions to where I am going in the first place. Even if I was on the road and still lost, then I would pull on the side until it was all clear, so I would not hold up anyone else....just out of courtesy for other drivers. I kind of take the philosophy do unto others as you would want done unto you....most of the time....I guess getting back to our last TEE card...if we think of our driving experience as a neighborhood, then we would all get along.

blinking 03/25/00 5:59 PM
OC #10

Hey everyone! Igoofed...this is supposed to be me OC #10...not a RE:SWR#10...sorree:(

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