Self-Witnessing Report On The Age Of Rage

Analysis Of My Personal Rage

Jennifer Dahlin

April 5, 2001

Class Home Page Instructions For This Report

My email

Introduction

Self-Witnessing Observation 1

Self-Witnessing Observation 2

Self-Witnessing Observation 3

Discussion

References

Introduction

We are living in an "age of rage", in everyday life there are many examples of people losing control and displaying rage behavior. I have discovered some of the many instances of air rage, shopping rage, boat rage and transporting deportees in my report 1. While researching for this report I have found that people are losing tolerance, patience and respect for other people. Some experts attribute this lose of control to the inability to cope with daily hassles and responsibilities. Rage seems to be more prevalent today than in the past. Again authorities attribute this to the inability to deal with today's accelerated pace. Our lifestyles demand more energy and require us to accomplish more than ever before. Rage seems to be a negative side effect of this over burdened schedule. It seems that people are pushing themselves to the limit, they are tired from work, carting around the kids and other activities that are crammed into their daily lives. Since they are tired and irritable they are more likely to lose control when confronted with a unnerving situation.

The prevalence of rage episodes says a lot about our society. It says that we are populated with citizens that are angry, impatience, hostile and unstable. In a sense we are losing our humanity because to be human is to live in a civilized community, and part of a being civilized is to be able to expect or anticipate another's behavior. Consequently, when people are enraged their behavior can become unpredictable.

If our lives continue in this rat race pattern, I predict that societal rage will be an ever present problem. However I believe that intervention could fight against rage. First everyone must be educated. They must know what rage is and identify when rage is present in their lives. Techniques should then be taught to defuse the rage before aggressive behavior occurs.

Dr. James, our Psychology instructor, has explained a Threestep Method that should be used when experiencing a raging episode. In the Self-Witnessing sections of this report, I will apply this Threestep Method when analyzing a few situations that caused me to rage.

Unwanted Advice From a Professional

Where: Doctor's office

When: March 15, 2001. 2pm

Who: Conversation with a registered nurse and myself

What: Unwanted advice from the nurse that irritated me.

Before my doctor's visit the nurse was weighing me, taking my temperature and taking my blood pressure. She told me that my weight was too high and that I should reduce my poundage. Then she showed me this chart that is suppose to gage how healthy a person is according to their weight and then a number is given to chart that individual. At my last visit, they had assigned me a number for the chart. So the nurse looked in my records and plotted it on the chart. She said "If you fall in the red zone it is very bad and you need to lose weight. Ideally you should be in the green zone". When she charted me I was some where in the middle between green and red.

I decided to report on this episode because it really bothered me. The angry feelings were still troubling me days later. I also chose this example because it seems to be a reoccurring scenario in my life. I react in similar ways when I feel people are criticizing me or saying something negative about me. It is almost like I am programed to respond the same way every time I perceive a situation in this manner.

I used the Threestep Method to evaluate the situation. Of course there were probably errors made because I am analyzing myself and I am most likely being subjective.

ACKNOWLEDGE

As soon as she started telling me to lose weight, I immediately felt myself get angry. I acknowledged to myself "I am having a rage episode".

WITNESS

Sensorimotor: My body temperature went up. I felt my scalp tingle. My face felt a little flushed. My body position and hands were relaxed. My voice was even. In social situations my rage is usually restricted to a temperature increase and tingling. I usually reserve raising my voice, clenching my fists and shaking to when I am truly, one hundred percent enraged. Since the situation at the doctor's office scored low on my rage-o-meter, I did not have extreme outward signs of being enraged.

Cognitive: I kept thinking "Who does this lady think she is?" and "How dare she!" I also thought that the chart was an invalid way to access a person ideal weight. Only height and weight were used to chart the individual. Body structure was not involved in the assessment and therefore I deemed the chart to be inaccurate.

Affective: I felt put down or criticized. I felt like the nurse was calling me fat and she was saying that I am not as good as women who do fall in the green area. I felt like telling her that the chart was invalid and that it did not accurately measure me. It was just a little unpleasant, it was not a great rage episode.

MODIFY

Sensorimotor: I really did not know how to bring my temperature down or stop my scalp from tingling, so I just took a few deep breaths and hoped this would relax me. The deep breaths helped a little.

Cognitive: To combat my negative thoughts about the nurse, I kept thinking "She is just doing her job. She is suppose to tell each patient to lose weight if they do not fall in the green area. She is not targeting me".

Affective: Instead of feeling hurt or angry I tired focusing on how I feel about myself. I would like to shed a few pounds but I love myself and I am comfortable with myself. What ever anybody else has to say really does not matter.

Problem Kids In The Neighborhood

Where: Next door and around my neighborhood.

When: About a month ago, during the day.

Who: Two neighborhood girls and myself.

What: The girls were not being supervised properly.

This episode happened on a Saturday. All throughout the day I had noticed two of the neighborhood girls, they are sisters, go in and out of the unit next to mine house. It was a vacant house, I assumed that the other girl that was with the sisters had moved in with her family, because I did not recognize her. All day my husband and I heard activity in the house. Later that evening we went out and noticed that the front door and back door were wide open. After we returned home the doors were still open. My husband went to investigate. He called out and no one answered, he searched every room and found no one and no belongings. However he did find toys and candy thrown around the living room area. He tried to lock the back sliding glass door but it was broken.

As soon as my husband told me what he had found next door, I became very angry. It angered me to realize that those girls had put our lives in jeopardy. Those girls could have burned down the entire row of houses. I was enraged at the parents for not watching their little girls.

ACKNOWLEDGE

Unfortunately this episode took place prior to Dr. James's explanation of the Threestep Method.

WITNESS

Sensorimotor: My face was wrinkled, my brow was creased and turning downward and my lips were tight. As I spoke my hands and arms wildly gestured. My voice was raised and I spoke rapidly. As I spoke I walked back and forth. From these physical signs, I was pretty angry. Not as angry as I can get, however significantly angrier than in the above episode.

Cognitive: I kept thinking "What if they turned on the stove?", "What if there was a fire". "If there was a fire would I have been able to get my family out?". Then I started blaming the parents for not paying attention to what their girls are doing. I recalled that these girls are always roaming the neighborhood unsupervised.

Affective: I was ultimately scared for the safety of my little baby, Isabella. I was scared because there could have been a fire or something. I felt like marching over to speak to the girls' parents. Actually I felt like yelling at them to parent their kids. It was a very unpleasant feeling because I really felt like my life and my baby's life were put in jeopardy because my neighbors were not watching their children.

MODIFY

Sensorimotor: Again I could not use the Threestep Method in this rage episode, because I did not know of it yet. In retrospect, I could have lowered my voice and spoke in an even tone. I could have sat down and relaxed my arms and hands. I could have had a conversation with my husband rather than just ranting my frustration.

Cognitive: Instead of thinking the worst, I should have been grateful that nothing happened. I should have just found the humor in the situation and simply laughed at what little girls can get themselves into.

Affective: At the time I realized that I was too angry to confront the parents. I knew that I would not be able to rationally explain what their daughters had be up to. Rather than making a scene, I chose to stay home. The next day I called the housing authorities, I asked them to send someone to fix the lock so the girls would not be able to enter the home again. I felt my decision was the least threatening, however it solved the problem and the danger.

Loud Party in the Neighborhood

Where: My neighborhood and my home.

When: Midnight on a weekend about two months ago.

Who: A neighbor and myself.

What: My neighbor had a load party that disturbed me.

I live in Army housing, I am surrounded by young couples. These young couples love to throw loud parties almost every weekend. Most people usually wrap up the party around eleven p.m. However, some keep on partying into the early morning hours. This particular incident, the party carried on late into to night. It angered me because I value my rest. I need to get as much uninterrupted sleep as I can because my daughter still wakes up during the night. It really makes me furious to be woken up by something other than my daughter. I feel like I wake up enough with my daughter and any more I just cannot tolerate.

I chose this incident because it really made me angry. Also because it is a reoccurring problem in my neighborhood. Every time my sleep in interrupted, disturbed or delayed I get very angry and the next day I am in a horrible mood.

ACKNOWLEDGE

Unfortunately, this incident took place before Dr. James introduced the Threestep Method.

WITNESS

Sensorimotor: I was laying in bed gritting me teeth. My forehead was crinkled. My body temperature was getting warmer. My hands were holding a pillow over my head. My shoulders and back were tense.

Cognitive: I was thinking "What complete @$$h0!es, do they only think of themselves?".

Affective: I felt like going over there and saying "Turn off the @#$% music and everyone go home!". It was very unpleasant, I was very tired and felt disrespected.

MODIFY

Sensorimotor: First I tried to relax my shoulders and back and allow myself to just lay softly on the bed rather than feel like I pushing myself into the bed. I released my grip on the pillow and tired to relax my hand and arm on the pillow. After these attempts it seemed easier to relax my facial muscles.

Cognitive: I kept telling myself to relax and not listen to the music and the voices. "Just tune them out" I said to myself.

Affective: Even though I felt like complaining to my neighbor, I would probably never confront someone in a situation like this. I feel like it will just alienate me from my neighbors and cause malice between us. So rather than make the situation worse I usually keep my anger to myself.

In all three of my rage episodes I had physical symptoms. I had not really been aware of the physical symptoms that accompany my anger. I had realized that my heart rate, breathing and hand gestures become wild when I am truly enraged but when I am just a little mad my body still reacts.

I started to contemplate which comes first, the physical reactions, cognitive reactions or the affective reactions. Some believe that the body responds first. Heart rate accelerates, sweat accumulates and pupils dilate; the brain interprets these changes and concludes "I am raging" only then does the cognitive and affective aspects come into play. However other say or other situation are the opposite, first the brain tells the body it is raging and then the physical symptoms follow. (Carlson, p. 124-130).

In my three explained rage examples, I believe that both my body told my brain and my brain told my body that I was enraged. The first episode, in the doctor's office, I first felt my temperature rise, my scalp tingle and my face get warm. After these physical response I began to think about the situation. I formulated my ideas and feelings about what the nurse said only after I felt my body change.

In the second example, when the neighborhood girls broke in, I had the cognitive and affective feelings first. I thought of all the destruction that could have occurred. I then became scared, then I got angry and only after all this did I start raising my voice and pace back and forth.

While in the third example, neighborhood noise, I had physical symptoms first. I was laying in bed trying to ignore the noise. My temperature went up, my body began to get rigid. After my body reacted, that is when my thoughts and feelings gushed forth.

It seems when I am able to vocalize myself, my thoughts and feelings come first. Although, when I do not feel free to speak my mind, my body reacts first. For instance, in the doctor's office I did not want to say anything because I might have come across as being rude, so my sensory motor functions reacted first. Also in my bedroom I felt I could not have yelled out the window or marched to the neighbor's, so again my sensory motor functions were apparent first. However I did feel safe to express myself to my husband about the neighborhood girls. I felt like he would not judge me as being rude or crazy, he knows me and my personality.

This Self-Witnessing report has taught me that it depends on the situation whether my body or brain reacts first, however whatever the situation, I always have sensory motor, cognitive and affective reactions.

Carlson, Neil R. Physiology Of Behavior. A Pearson Education Company. Needham Heights, Massachusetts 02494. 2001.