A Review of
Albert Ellis’
By: Frankychan, May 06, 2002
In Dr. Albert Ellis’ book, Feeling Better, Getting Better,
Staying Better, Ellis discusses techniques that each one of us can use to
cope with the hardships in life that we face.
Dr. Ellis covers many aspects to deal with hardships: from yoga to breathing, singing to meditation. Ellis uses all these different techniques to
address his main idea:
Dr. Ellis has developed a technique to help people become more
positive. He has called this technique
the Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, or REBT, for short. This technique allows people to address
their problems and hopefully, change their self-view for the better.
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-Key Concepts-
Throughout Dr. Ellis’ book, he uses many concepts to define
REBT. Listed below are his main
concepts that are repeated in Feeling Better, Getting Better, Staying
Better.
·
ABC’s of REBT-
Dr. Ellis defines the ‘ABCs’ to explain how we disturb ourselves. We encounter Adversity, our Belief’s then
influence our thinking that we are not adequate enough which then leads to the Consequence-we
depress ourselves.
·
Irrational Beliefs- Our irrational beliefs are our thoughts, feelings and actions
(refer to Dr. James’ Three-Fold self) that are self-defeating. An example is the thought of “I must be the
best.”
The fact that “I must be the best” is highly
irrational. If a person is unable to
become “The Best”, the consequences may be dire. Depression may set in or thoughts of self-inadequacy…even
self-injurious behavior.
Irrational Beliefs are often demands
that something absolutely must be a certain way. In reality, nothing is ‘absolute’, therefore, Irrational Beliefs
are always self-defeating.
·
Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA)- U.S.A. is an attitude that helps prevent us
from disturbing ourselves. This belief
basically states that “Even though things may not be the way that I want them
to be, I still am a good person no matter what happens.” This way of thinking prevents us from
disturbing and depressing ourselves.
These key concepts are used throughout Dr. Ellis’ book to help
the reader relate his concepts to his or her personal life. Dr. Ellis uses many ‘real-life’ examples
throughout the book, from an affair to someone who suffered from overreactive
depression. Dr. Ellis uses these
examples to show the reader that by using REBT, we can change how we
perceive ourselves as well as the world around us.
Feeling Better, Getting Better, Staying Better addresses
many personal problems that we face in our day-to-day lives. Demands of work, school, and family
obligations all are discussed within this book and Dr. Ellis shows that by
changing our thinking, we can become less depressed and less critical about
ourselves. Whether the reader is a
student or teacher, son or father, doctor or wait help, this book presents ways
in which we all can change our thoughts to be more positive.
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-Exercises-
In Dr. Ellis’ book, there are
MANY exercises that he presents to the reader.
Some of them include tangible examples, such as meditation and yoga to
help us become more relaxed…to intangible aspects like thinking
practically. Dr. Ellis states (page 94):
|
“Actively
and forcefully Dispute (D) your IB’s [irrational beliefs] practically,
pragmatically or
heuristically- to see what results you get. Typical practical Disputings are: a worthless
person if I don’t?” “Will believing that other people absolutely must treat me
fairly get them to treat me better?” |
Something as intangible as disputing our thinking is one
of many exercises that Dr. Ellis uses to help the reader understand that most
people tend to think that they must do this or must accomplish
that. Performing these exercises, both
physical and mental exercises, will hopefully help people understand that by
changing our negative thoughts, we can feel better about ourselves.
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*
-REBT, Society
and the Emotional Spin Cycle-
Dr. Ellis’ theories directly
relate to society: Challenging our
negative thoughts helps us become better people, thereby making society a
better place to live! Society today (at
least in America) seems more bent on the mentality of “Me, Me, Me” and “First
place is the only place.”
One quote that is on many shirts today is: “Second place is the first loser.” This quote connotates that being “Number One”
is the only thing that matters. This
statement also implies that if you are not “Number One”, you do not
matter. This competitive nature can be
very self-destructive if an individual feels like they absolutely must
be #1 and do not achieve their goal.
This book helps people understand that this way of thinking more times
than not becomes self-defeating and is unhealthy.
The topics in this book also directly relate to Dr. James’
theory of the Emotional Spin Cycle. In
the Emotional Spin Cycle, we experience different emotions throughout the day. Our thoughts and feelings of anger,
depression, and hopelessness can be overwhelming at times and Dr. Ellis gives
many examples on ways that we can change our Three-Fold self from being
negative to positive.
Dr. Ellis uses many examples that help us to identify our
Emotional Spin Cycle and try to change ourselves for the better.
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-Who should
read this book?-
Obviously, this book is not
for everyone. This book discusses many
concepts and theories that maybe too “abstract” for some people to
understand. Personally, I would NOT
recommend this book for individuals under the age of 15. Dr. Ellis’ concepts such as “Disputing
Irrational Beliefs” may seem to complex for children to comprehend. I WOULD recommend this book for individuals
who want to know more about themselves for self-improvement. I would also recommend this book for people
who experience stress in their lives and seek ways to rid themselves of stress.
This book may appear too “mushy” and “lovey-dovey” to some
people, but if you are looking for a way to improve your life, I would definitely
suggest reading this book.
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-The
Pro’s and Con’s-
Like any other book in the
market today, this book does have its ‘ups’ and ‘downs’. It seems Dr. Ellis loves to create new words
to throw at the reader. One word in
particular, ‘musterbating’, I found rather disturbing until he explained what
it means. Dr. Ellis also seems fond of repeating
himself over and over again. The
redundancy of “Accepting Yourself” may seem too ‘pushy’ to some readers, but I
believe he uses the repetition of his theories to make his point to the reader.
Some high parts that the novel has is its use of examples. Feeling Better, Getting Better, Staying
Better, uses many different examples that the reader can hopefully
relate to. Dr. Ellis uses many
instances where people are suffering from one ailment or another, and how by
using the theories in the book, they can (or could have) changed their thoughts
and feelings. If you are a person that
learns by example, then this book would probably be helpful to you.
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-My Personal
Thoughts About Reading This Book-
I enjoyed reading this book, although sometimes it seemed like
Dr. Ellis repeated himself once too often.
One section I especially enjoyed was the part concerning Preferable
Shouding and Wishing.
Dr. Ellis says (page 134):
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Realistic Disputing: “Why is it just preferable
for me to keep succeeding at my goals and keep gaining the approval of other
people? Why is it not necessary for
me to do so?” Realistic answer: “It is preferable for me to want to
achieve these goals just because I decide on these preferences. As a human, I am entitled to any
preferences I make-though I am not entitled to get them fulfilled. My desires are legitimate just because I
have them, and I always have the right to have them and to change them. It is not necessary for me to achieve my
goals or to keep gaining the approval of others, because if it were
absolutely necessary, then the laws of the universe would arrange that I do
so. Obviously, I often do not get
what I want, and that demonstrates that it is not necessary that I get it.” |
|
Frankychan
gives 4 out of 5 stars to: Feeling Better, Getting Better, Staying
Better
|
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-Links-
Amazon.com-Review
of Feeling Better, Getting Better, Staying Better
|
Feeling Better, Getting Better, Staying Better: Profound Self Help Therapy For Your Emotions is a psychological self help
book with a wealth of advice on how to improve one's physical health by
harnessing the power of one's emotional state. Chapters discuss such
practical methods for improving one's attitude and therefore health such as
thinking, philosophizing, emoting, and engaging in positive activities. A
highly recommended addition to any personal selfhelp reading list, Feeling
Better, Getting Better, Staying Better is not a substitute for seeing a
therapist or counselor, but rather a recommended supplement to a professional
care in order to help the reader respond more effectively to treatment. |
Another online bookstore, Sanctuary.com is another location
where you can both read reviews and order Dr. Ellis’ book. Unfortunately, the only review they have for
this book can be found at Amazon.com as well.
Here, you can read reviews from the publishers of the book as
well. However, since this is
the publisher of Dr. Ellis’ book, it doesn’t have any negative comments about
it. For a more unbiased review, you
might want to look somewhere else.
Below is one review:
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"...easy to read, easy to understand, and easy to
remember -- the hallmarks of any good self-help volume. Readers who heed
these cogent recommendations... are likely to find life more livable and
decidedly more enjoyable." Arnold A. Lazarus, Ph.D., ABPP |