A Review of

Albert Ellis, ãFeeling Better, Getting Better, Staying Betterä, 

Impact Publishers, 2001

by Kapenalani

March 21, 2002

Instructions for Book Review

 

 

 

Introduction

Emotions are very powerful, and are able to rule peopleâs lives.  The feelings of anger, sadness, nervousness, and happiness are able to overwhelm a personâs actions, thoughts, and behaviors.  Albert Ellis has written a book called, ãFeeling Better, Getting Better, Staying Better.ä  He is a renowned psychologist that has created a method called Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) to assist people in attaining their goals of changing certain behavior.  Ellis states many different methods of how a person may begin to feel better, such as, meditation, exercise, or through cognitive distractions.  However, these methods are only the beginning to getting better and staying better.  Through REBT, a person will begin to recognize their irrational beliefs, and be able to control these thoughts and feelings with rational ones.

 

Emotional Disturbances and Solutions

•       Self-Disturbing: this occurs through irrational beliefs that an individual creates by having repetitive intrusive thoughts of unrealistic a situation or event. 

       The way to overcome self-disturbing is by evaluating your irrational beliefs, and converting them into realistic rational thoughts.

•      Adversity, Beliefs, & Consequences (ABCâs): due to adversities and irrational beliefs, a person may suffer consequences like depression, anger, or pain. 

        Once again, the main tool here is reversing your irrational beliefs and making them rational realistic ones.

•      Awefulizing: making a situation worse than it really is.  An individual in this stage helps to perpetuate and increase their irrational beliefs.

        To minimize or eliminate this thought process, look for the positive points in the situation, instead of concentrating on the bad.

•      Conditional Self-Acceptance: when you only accept yourself for the things that you accomplish.  An individual may feel that they are only worthy if they accomplish certain goals, they are comparing their self-worth to tasks that they have fulfilled in life.

        To avoid this type of thinking, an individual must be able to evaluate their goals and accomplishments, and make a distinction between them and their self-worth.  Accepting yourself no matter what types of accomplishments you possess or donât possess.

These are just a few of the different emotional disturbing topics that Dr. Ellis discussed.  He goes through many others, and offers solutions to them with examples of ãreal-lifeä situations.

 

Terminology & Ideas

This book is a progressive explanation of how people can make themselves feel better, get better, and stay better.  Ellis has created many terms and concepts to explain his method to the, ãeveryday average Joe.ä  The reader may have to review some sections a couple of times before being able to comprehend what Ellis is trying to state. However, he does an excellent job of using examples to better explain his terms and concepts.  Ellis also seems to use examples that are very common among the general population, which people are able to relate too.  These are some of the terms and concepts talked about by Ellis:

 

•   Catastrophizing: to exaggerate adversities into something worse than they actually are

•   Awfulizing: see things as really bad or impossible.

•   Absolutistic demands: ã I canât be happy if I am not achieving all of this!ä

•   Unconditionally accepting others & external conditions: ã I can accept, but not like,      external conditions that block me from succeeding or cause people to disapprove of me.ä

•   Conditional accepting: ã I can only accept other people only if they never block me from succeeding or are never disapproving.ä

•   Rational preferences: desires, wishes, and wants.

•   Irrational demands: shoulds, musts, oughts, and other insistences.

Health and Stress

Ellis emphasizes the fact throughout the book that each person has the ability to control his or her emotions and thoughts that consume them.  He makes a conscious effort to reiterate that an individual has the choice to switch from a negative way of thinking into a more positive realistic view, which relieves the body of stress.  Ellis does not preach that a person should never have negative thoughts or emotions, but rather he writes about how to minimize these thoughts and emotions, so that it does not affect a person in their daily life. 

 

In this book Ellis discusses many different techniques that individuals use to relieve themselves of stress.  Most of the techniques were only short-term relievers, like meditation, yoga, physical exercise, breathing exercises, or cognitive distractions.  The main solution to coping with an individualâs irrational beliefs was to face them head on, and evaluate them.  By evaluating an irrational belief, the individual is able to decide what information is relevant, and what information is ãcatastrophizing.ä  If a person is able to learn this technique they are on the road to feeling healthier, and less stressed.  A quote from Ellis, which describes stress so eloquently, ãPeople are disturbed not by things, but by the view they take of them.ä  p16. 

 

Exercises

There were exercises that were suggested throughout the book to help a person better use REBT.   Some of the exercises were ãanti-catastrophizing,ä like I said before evaluate the irrational belief, Musterbating, which is to limit or eliminate the, ã I should, or I mustä kind of comments.  These types of thinking only aggravate an individual when they do not accomplish their goal.  These techniques will help to prepare an individual for a stressful situation where there is an aversive stimulus.  Another exercise that Ellis discussed was singing, which added a bit of humor to the book.  He stated that if a person sings about their irrational beliefs, than most likely they would be aware how unrealistic they are because of the new connotation that the song has added to them.

 

Dr. Ellis has many more exercises that an individual may do to help them cope with their irrational beliefs.  He has an exercise for almost any individual depending on the situation and person.  As for myself, I feel that the anti-catastrophizing exercise would best soot me, for I sometimes do this in situations where I am insecure.  I build myself up to believe that the situation is really worse than it is, all I am doing is creating an added stressor that my body does not need. 

 

Relevance to Society & the Benefits

It seems that the world is overflowing with negativity.  Feelings of aggression and depression have become a very popular among my generation.  This is seen in videos, books, magazines, and other forms of popular entertainment.  The media helps to popularize these feelings by showing the violent behavior that is produced because of anger or sadness.  It is as if society has said that is all right to act in this manner because everyone acts this way.  The frightening part is that this aggressive behavior is being linked to children who are becoming the vast majority of the population that displays this behavior.  Which is very scary because they may not have the emotional intelligence to cope with these types of feelings.

 

Ellisâs book is the first stepping-stone to resolving everyday adversities.  His therapies and methods can be used to help aid in every day difficulties, which help to avoid getting to such extreme situations where it may seem uncontrollable.  Ellis gives the reader the opportunity to understand why they think or act the way they do.  He shares techniques and models for people to follow to help them form solutions to counteract their unpleasant behavior. 

 

Relevance to the Emotional Spin-Cycle

These topics in this book have direct impact on the emotional spin-cycle.  Ellis makes the point that our actions, thoughts, and behaviors affect our outlook on life.  Which proves that in order for a person to choose the option of remaining on the positive spectrum of the Four Options, that they must be able to employ techniques to aid them in their choice.  Ellis gives many ideas and techniques to alter an individualâs three-fold self, which are their habits of feeling, thinking, sensations, and acting out.  Being able to apply these techniques allows an individual to make the better choice of remaining on the positive side of the Four Options.  General Instructions about the Emotional Spin Cycle.

Psychology Field

Feeling Better, Getting Better, Staying Better, is a book that would fit into the area of social psychology.  This book deals with modifying behaviors and attitudes that were created by an individual and their environment. 

 

Audience

A parent should pick this book up before having children, so that they are able to understand how to teach these types of realistic behaviors to their children, so that their children do not need to go through REBT.  They will become industrious people who have a high emotional intelligence that is able to deal with every day demands in a healthy and productive manner.

 

This book speaks to people who are willing to admit to their undesirable behaviors, and recognize that their behavior is creating their stress.  If you have an open-mind and want to find a way to modify your thoughts and feelings, so that it will help you relieve your mind and body of stress, then this is the book for you.

 

Strengths & Weaknesses

Ellis is able to express his ideas and concepts in a very simple manner through the use of his examples.  This helps to engage the reader, and make a connection on a personal level.  The book offers a variety of methods and techniques to help a person accomplish their goals; such as altering their behavior, changing their thought process, or understanding why they react in certain ways.  This book is a very useful tool, however it would not help a child or adolescent, due to the way it is worded.  Ellis may need to create a more elementary version of this book with more age-related examples.

 

Also, Ellis should state that if a person has a severe disorder that these techniques might help, but that they should seek a professional.  For a person with a severe disorder may not be able to distinguish between irrational beliefs and rational beliefs.

 

Personal Relevance 

This book has created a ãhands onä effect for myself, for I have learned about different theories and therapies through my classes, but never had the chance to see it in a print for the everyday person to utilize.  This book gave me a more in depth look at what behavior therapy consists of, and that a person is able to use this type of therapy to their benefit.  Although, I learn about these types of therapies, I never really believed in them.  For some reason, I had the idea that the therapies I learned about in my classes were for people with serious disorders, I never comprehended that fact that it could be used for an ãevery day person.ä 

 

Dr. Ellis has opened my eyes to self-help therapy.  I always believed that self-help books where for ãquacksä, people who were looking to be ãreborn.ä  However, I now realize that it is not to just be ãrebornä, but to change behaviors that make a personâs life stressful.  The most important factor that I learned from this book was being able to recognize my irrational beliefs.  Irrational beliefs are a very common thing that most people donât even realize they are doing, until it is pointed out, and maybe even then they still donât want to admit it.   At least now, I can say that I can recognize my irrational beliefs; this is the first step to minimizing my negative thoughts and emotions.

 

Conclusion

Dr. Ellis has provided the reader with an array of useful ideas that they can use as tools to help them succeed in changing their behavior.  If a person is seeking some kind of therapy to help them ease their suffering of being overwhelmed with certain emotions, this is their opportunity to find an answer.  Dr. Ellis is a professional in his field, and offering his services for a fee of $15.95.

                                                                                       

 

Reviews from the Web

http://www.impactpublishers.com/books/fbgbsb.html

 

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1886230358/qid%3D1016742526/ref%3Dsr%5F11%5F0%5F1/103-9038647-8748628

 

http://www.menstuff.org/books/byissue/feelings-general.html#ellis1