Dr. Alert Ellis

Dr. Albert Ellis has now published 54 books and over 600 articles on REBT, sex and marriage. He now focuses on confronting irrational beliefs and persuading others to adopt rational ones.

An encouraging quote from a book-review on the internet:

"Feeling better, Getting better, Staying better" helps people do just that. It is divided into five main sections, 1) Introduction on the terms used and goals of the approach. 2) next is a look at the notions on"Feeling Better" 3) Then it moves to "Getting Better" 4. It then tells us about the most important stage of "Staying better" 5) and finally we have some Final words about the previous topics.

Feeling better is very important in the recovery stage of Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy although it is often short lived. It can be achieved by doing things for others and not yourself. You will feel better for a time after helping someone but then you are again left with just disturbing self.

Dr. Ellis states that his "Getting better" stage consists of:

This is a great achievement for many people who suffer from irrational disrupting symptoms. Getting better is not just feeling better about yourself but your actions and thoughts are changing and moving towards the ultimate goal of staying better.

Staying better is just as it sounds. It involves using all your new rational thinking methods to continue a healthy non-disturbing life.

Dr. Ellis gives us a handful of new terms to remember that will be referred to through out the book such as:

U.S.A. or Unconditional Self-Acceptance means that you can accept yourself 100% even when faced with failure or rejection by others. U.S.A. is a very healthy state to be in. No longer do you have to depend on others for your happiness, you can find it in yourself. You are what you are, so enjoy it. This term is the basis of Dr. Ellis’s theories on REBT. Once achieved, an individual can really be rational and optimistic.

C.S.A. or Conditional Self-Acceptance is the acceptance we have for ourselves with the condition that approval is needed by others in order to feel good and worthwhile. People everywhere are guilty of this. It is not easy to get away from. Society often encourages the approval of others in order to be happy or successful. Dr. Ellis and I would argue that U.S.A. is much more important and a healthier way to live.

IB’s are very disrupting and harmful for a person to have. They will often think worse of themselves and what others think of them then is really reality. Phrases such as "I must" or "I have too" are IB’s. RB’s are constructive and helpful beliefs to have. They enable a person to realize what is important and what is reality. They breed healthy life styles and patterns of thought.

U.O.A. or Unconditional Other Acceptance is accepting others even when you don’t like their actions or thoughts. It means accepting or tolerating the differences of others. It is needed for a positively healthily functioning society. It is important to have because it enables a person to act positively and constructively with other people.

High Frustration Tolerance would be, disliking something or someone that is bothering you or interfering with your plans and goal, but you do not demand an end to it.

Low Frustration Tolerance as Dr, Ellis put it is "Awfulize" about the problems in your life and not being able to stand it when they are brought up or occur.

The topics in this book are relevant to the Western world’s peoples because we have neglected to properly teach others about self-acceptance and methods of reaching it. Dr. Ellis has realized that people need to know the issues and methods in this book in order to live a happier life. There are many people in America suffering from depression and irrational ways of thinking that lead them to live an unhappy unsatisfied life. The notions on U.S.A. are not new but have been forgotten in our society. The media and our interactions with others have given us so many little subtle messages on what it means to be worthwhile and meaningful. The media has encouraged most of all appearance then money and then intelligence. If a person can’t achieve this, then they believe society will look down on them and thus they feel depressed and worthless. Being in love with what you have is rarely stressed. A book such as this was a nice refresher for me. It reminded me of the content I have for myself and that U.S.A. is most important not my success in my ventures.

There are more and more self help books and resources designed to guide someone out of the depressive hole they are in now on the internet. Many of the topics in this book are explored by other authors or writers (A few of these sites are listed at the bottom of this book-review).

I think the messages in this book are great for the public to hear about. I am sure it would direct and comfort many lost, depressed people. It answers the questions that many have on what is a healthy way of thinking and how to find the best method for your self. The methods on feeling better, staying better and getting better will steer people in the right directions when they realize they want to fill the whole that they feel inside.

Some of the problems this book talks about are self-disturbing, musterbating, A.B.C.s, awefulizing, and C.S.A.

Self-disturbing is a serious problem that comes from irrational beliefs that keep eating away at your "self". The answer for those who are caught in this damaging cycle is to step back and think rationally. Self-disturbing will go way down and you will be able to control yourself much better in even difficult situations.

Musterbating is the dysfunctional use of words like "must" and "have to". The solution offered for this kind of irrational thinking is to step back and change the vocabulary to, I would very much like it if… The change in words will help you to see more clearly and rationally.

The A.B.C.s: Adversity, Beliefs and Consequences. These terms are associated with disturbing ones self. The consequences are self disturbing such as depression, anger and pain. This disruption is enough to produce thoughts of suicide or killing others. Our beliefs need to be held in check because the consequences that result are dependent on the B. Thinking rationally will lead to a much different consequence.

"Awefulizing" is the notion of something frustrating absolutely should not exist. "I can’t stand it" or "Its too much to bear" are irrational believes that just facilitate problems. These sayings actually increase your frustrations and intolerance. You must learn to tolerate the frustrating person by Unconditional Other-Acceptance. You must learn to tolerate difficulties that come up because everyone makes mistakes. This is the healthiest way to think.

Catastrophizing is a serious problem in emotional dysfunctioning. It is blowing something out of proportion. Using words that exaggerate the intensity or seriousness of something. Dr. Ellis recommends that we use anti-catastrophizing methods such as writing down the seriousness of the problem on a scale of 1-10 and the likeliness of it happening. Compare it to other things that will put it into prospective. This will help you think about it rationally and will take away the irrational thoughts..

Another problem this book talks about is Conditional Self-Approval. This is a problem for many because as I said before, your happiness is not in your control but in another’s control.

You must learn to have U.S.A. and then you will have solved the C.S.A. problem.

This book does have some exercises that you should to aid you in your route to recovery in REBT. The exercise as I stated about on anti-catastrophizing is one example. Another would be the example on the solution to Musterbating, were you say sentences with words such as "I hope" or "I would like" instead of must.

This is good practice because when a frustrating situation occurs, you are ready with your rational arsenal of words.

The breathing exercise is a useful one I think. Dr. Ellis tells us how to breath properly using the stomach more then the chest and to practice it in preparation for stressful situations or just to improve your health. I did feel relaxed after breathing with good posture and from the stomach. I will try to do this next time I am in a stressful situation with my girl. This exercise is on page 70-71.

A funny exercise in this book was the singing songs exercise on pages 160-166. It has some sexual innuendo which makes some of the songs hilarious. Singing them is suppose to use the rational humorous songs to combat and interrupt your disturbances. I think it would work but usually I am too angry to sing a silly song like those.

One particularly interesting and funny exercise that Dr. Ellis prescribes to patients is shame attacking exercises. He recommends that someone who is very shy do something totally shameful like call out stops on a subway and not get off the train or sing as you are walking down the street so others will look at you like you are a nut case. These exercises are hilarious! Basically do something totally embarrassing to show yourself that shame is only made up by your self and is not part of Unconditional Self-Acceptance. I already do these shameful acts so I don’t need to try anther. I enjoy getting reactions out of squares.

7. Feeling better, Getting better, Staying better is definitely a book encouraging living life healthily and minimizing the amount of stress you allow yourself to suffer. The U.S.A. or Unconditional self-acceptance idea is one that relates directly to the mental health of a person. Relying on others for happiness and acceptance is not healthy. It will lead to self-destructive measures if failure or inadequacy occurs. The stress of relying on others for acceptance causes terribly harmful effects on a person and can cause a life time of discomfort.

Another topic in the book that can be considered is Irrational beliefs which are major causes of stress in people who are trying to deal with situations or problems. "Awefulizing" will cause nothing but stress and anxiety. What kind of health can be maintained by someone who is always "awefulizing" unless, it causes that person to eat healthy and exercise in moderation, but that is rarely the case.

I would argue that this book fits into the social and personality fields of psychology. It can fit into many others because of intertwined variables. Social psychology look into why people behave and act as they do in society. What factors from nurture influence actions and thoughts. Self-disturbing is often due to societal pressures. Learning what those pressures are and how to combat them are crucial.

This book inspired me to feel better, get better and stay better. I don’t have any serious disturbances now but it just reinforced my optimistic thinking habits.

I really liked these inspirational and logical quotes:

I think that if I could keep these in mind when I make a mistake I will not curse or become angry with myself because I will continue thinking in the rational logical mode. Think of the difference these quotes would make if people could rationally think like this when mistakes happen. Usually when mistakes or problems occur, that time is the hardest time to control ones thinking and acting. My friend especially has a problem with thinking logically when he makes a mistake. The difference in his behavior would be significant if he were to live by these quotes.

Another quote I want to mention that I hope to live by would be:

I have been an optimistic person for all my life. It could be because my parents always told me the future is an exciting place and that I could do anything that I wanted. Living with this in mind has helped me to accomplish goals and enjoy life with little self-disturbing.

I learned a lot of interesting terms and useful methods that are out there in order to combat irrational beliefs and emotional disturbances. I think it was a good refresher for me to read about U.S.A. It gave me a stronger foundation to look at myself and others in a way to see destructive behaviors and to help those who are suffering from self-disturbing. I can now recommend some therapies and practices to help some one get better. Now I can look at some of the words that I am used to saying that are not healthy (musterbating), such as "must, should, ought to." It was the first self help book I have ever read and I am happy I experienced it.

A strength of this book would be the true confidence in its self. For someone suffering from a disturbance, reading these encouraging words and these confidently posed methods would be very reassuring. Dr. Ellis seems to have everything under control and able to answer all questions that are thrown at him. This may not be the case in reality but his charisma I thought was very appealing. Another strength from this book would be its many real life stories about people who are also suffering but were able to get better and work on staying better. This is another encouraging thing about this book that someone with a problem would be attracted to.

A weakness about the book would be its repetitive nature. It seems to be saying similar things the whole time. I know other students were complaining about this with me. Perhaps some of the topics such as philosophizing and rationally thinking in situations becomes old after many examples and instances where we should implement them. Logic and reason are "drug out" too long I think. I got the idea from the first five examples of how to use them and their importance.

Amazon bookstore review, not as good as mine!

The Menstuff library lists pertinent books on Psychology:

Book Review Robert V. Heckel, Ph.D.

The Four Keys to Therapy: USE, UOE, ULE, UAE