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Review of

Feeling Better, Getting Better

Staying Better

By Albert Ellis, PhD.

Review written by wings

University of Hawaii

Dr. Leon James

To My Home Page

 

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ ΚThis book focuses on using Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy-REBT to change thought patterns and feelings.Κ Dr. Ellis emphasizes the pitfalls of limiting the self to simply feeling better he stresses the importance of getting better. He illustrates the difference between feeling better and getting better with examples showing that when a person feels better, the feeling is not a permanent change. Examples of temporary fixes include exercise and work.Κ He is adamant in his belief that the individual is responsible for any depression, or stress that that person has because that person has created his own depression by having disturbing thoughts and beliefs.

 

The Progression From Feeling to Staying Better

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ Dr. Ellis has written the book based on a theme of progressing through a process aimed at first feeling better, then getting better, and finally, staying better. In the introduction Ellis begins by illustrating his theory that individuals choose their own disturbing thoughts. Ellis then sets out to provide techniques for feeling better, getting better, and staying better.Κ These are distinct phenomena, which begin at feeling better and progressing to staying better. To begin with, to perform at a higher level, it is necessary to feel better; this can be a brief experience, which makes it crucial that a person begins to get better. Getting better involves several steps, feeling better, fewer disturbing feelings and knowing how to manage disturbing feelings so that one can get rid of them quickly. Next is the hard part, which is staying better some of the techniques that work in the first two areas, are inadequate to sustain the positive change.Κ Next, the book offers ways to feel, get stay better which are categorized in three groups; thinking/ philosophizing, emotive, and behavioral methods to facilitate change.Κ As far as staying better goes, Ellis warns against self- disturbing emotions, inelegant methods of change, and the importance of having resolved to change.

 

Would This Book Be Beneficial For The Modern Man?

The concerns that Dr. Ellis addresses in this book are relevant to the public today because of the emphasis in today's society on achievement.Κ The media plays a role because of the abundance of stories about those who have made it in this world; we are saturated with the images of celebrities. When someone like Paula Jones can take part in a "celebrity" boxing match, there is not much hope for society.Κ Due to this overwhelming coverage of the good life, people may feel like there is an ideal to live up to. This pressure is felt from the time that children are in middle school, where every grade is seen to have the potential to end the hopes for a college education.

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ ΚThis message could be useful because people need to accept themselves so that they can remove the obstacles in their ways of thinking to be able to reach goals and to be able to accept others.Κ It answers the need to feel validated in life to feel like you are important and that those around you are also important.

 

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ Feeling Better

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ The opening chapters of the book are centered around the various methods for dealing with irrational beliefs that are employed by people.Κ Ellis lists activities that help people to relax, like yoga and meditation.Κ He agrees that these techniques are beneficial as far

As relaxation goes, but he does not agree that these techniques are solutions to the problem of placing irrational standards on our lives. Dr. Ellis places sports and exercise in this same group.Κ The Dr. addresses the issue of religion and spirituality as a method of dealing with life's challenges but he sees these as being temporary solutions even going as far as saying that religion is a way to hide from challenges.Κ I got the feeling that he feels that religion is like a crutch.Κ

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ Basically, this section of the book is a source of information that Dr. Ellis feels is relevant to his point that the rational emotive techniques that he presents later in the book are superior to these other techniques for achieving self-efficacy.Κ But I think that the activities that he lists are not relevant to a search for self-efficacy and that people do these activities for entirely different reasons.Κ People exercise to benefit their bodies.Κ Religion is not a search for answers about the self; rather it is a search for answers about the world. Dr. Ellis's statements about religion seem to be coming from a part of him that is not rational.

 

Methods for Getting Better

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ Dr. Ellis uses case studies to present his rational emotive behavior therapy.Κ The case studies are based upon his patients that have consulted him concerning various challenges which each was facing. Dr. Ellis writes that a patient with low self-efficacy is suffering due to irrational beliefs, and the way to change is by changing these beliefs.Κ Dr. Ellis relates the irrational belief of each patient providing an overview of how each came to hold such an unfounded belief and the ways that their lives had been affected by these beliefs. Then he goes through the process which each followed to change their pattern of thinking.Κ Each of the cases eventually improves their thinking and is successful.Κ But they do not do it alone, they all are under the guidance of the Dr. Dr. Ellis uses therapy that involves following a system that requires the patient to go through the ABC's of REBT (89-93). This therapy includes a long list of questions that the patient answers that are meant to lead the patient from an irrational belief to a rational one. I found this method to be long and confusing and feel that without the help of a therapist, a patient would find the method confusing and fail to complete the questions.Κ This I feel is one of the main weaknesses of the book, the Dr. presents the material as if it were a self-help book, while at the same time it reads as if it were a manual for behavioral therapists illustrating his theory of REBT.

 

Methods for Staying Better

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ Dr. Ellis writes about therapies that are similar to his, they are also of the rational behavior type.Κ I found these therapies to be easier to follow that Dr. Elli's ABC's of REBT.Κ I could see several similar aspects between the others and his therapy and I felt that his was too confusing.Κ Near the end of the book he presents a less confusing way of applying REBT.Κ The Dr. calls this Using forceful disputing of irrational beliefs, (140) this is a better way to apply REBT.

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ There are several areas of useful advice in the book.Κ I especially liked his discussion of Unconditional Self Acceptance (23-37, 201-201).Κ Another section, which is helpful, starts at page 119 and ends at the end of the chapter on page127.Κ HereΚ he discusses using imaging techniques, writing exercises, reframing negative perceptions and anti castrophizing as ways to get past damaging irrational beliefs.Κ This is a very straightforward section

 

 

How Does this Book Help?

Κ ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ This book addresses how to cope with any shortcomings that a person perceives in his person and how to adjust to situations that a person has not planned for. It offers as a solution the idea of using unconditional self-acceptance to allow one to deal with what could be perceived as failure.Κ This also allows the individual to accept oneself even if he does not get a promotion, or even if she feels less attractive than others.Κ Having the thought pattern that you are less attractive than others and that you could never get a man who is worthy of your attention can lead a woman to chose partners who are not going to be good for her well being.Κ For example, in chapter nine, Dr. Ellis presents the case of Tanya, who despite her academic success, felt she was not attractive enough to be with a man who was of her peer group.Κ She settled for men who were less accomplished than herself.Κ Tanya attempted to change but had to work on disputing her irrational beliefs, so that she could get rid of them.

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ Coping involves a development of high frustration tolerance, which involves the elimination of thought patterns that include absolute statements that begin with the phrase, "I must"

Or "I can't stand·". These types of statements set the individual up for failure and are evidence of low frustration tolerance.Κ

What Methods are Presented For Feeling Better, Getting Better and Staying Better?

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ The book discusses methods to feel better, which are shown to be relaxation, keeping busy, exercise, but the doctor sees these methods as only temporary fixes and suggests that by changing ones thinking a person can continue to feel better because the underlying current of self doubt has been eliminated. Next, the book offers ways to get better, but returns to the power of changing one's thinking to emphasize the importance of the underlying causes for self doubt. Finally, he explains that when people rely on faith to feel better they are giving the responsibility away to a different entity; Dr. Ellis does not see this as actually getting better.

The book is in general related to stress, because by creating our personal crisis on a daily basis, we are creating stress, which can lead to health problems, also.

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ Κ This book provides a way for people who are basically considered normal, to deal with the psychological obstacles which prevent them from leading a satisfied life.Κ The book reminds me of my Abnormal Psychology class because many times during that class I wondered about the reasons for self- defeating behavior, which is pretty common.

Helpful Areas

I enjoyed the idea of unconditional self-acceptance because I feel that people need to work on accepting themselves for whom they are and to eliminate negative habits of thinking.

I also enjoyed his statements about how we create our own disturbing.Κ I learned that there are many seemingly unimportant thoughts that I have that are part of a bigger picture depicting my dissatisfaction and its invalid source.

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ The strengths in this book are in his theories about USA and LFT and I feel that a person could change her life by working on these two points.Κ The weaknesses were in its repetitiveness and in the ABC's of REBT. The steps are repetitive and the wording is confusing.

 

Are There Examples of These Methods?

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ Κ There is a breathing exercise to test if your breathing is deep or shallow.Κ I tried this exercise and was reminded of my choir rehearsals where I had practiced this form of deep breathing. Several places throughout the book, Dr. Ellis encourages the reader to try to employ the exercise that he is writing about.Κ For example, he suggests that the reader write about self-defeating thoughts. It also has a chart which one can fill out to examine your irrational beliefs and how one can change them by questioning them.

ΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚΚ

Other Sources

Κ There is an index and a list of suggested reading. At Barnes and Noble.com, I found a literary review of the book that was not favorable.Κ The reviewer acknowledged Dr. Ellis' reputation but said that this book was redundant and not of the same quality as some of the Dr.'s previous books.Κ

I feel that this book is somewhat repetitive.Κ I am unsure whether Dr. Ellis intends the book to be a guide for therapists or for the general public, as a self-help book. I would not be surprised to see Dr. Ellis on the Oprah show, discussing irrational beliefs and how to get rid of them!!

 

 

 

 

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