The Realm of Success
by Michelle Sagucio
Spring
2003—Generation 18
Dr. Leon James,
Instructor
Instructions
for this report can be accessed here
I. Introduction
II. Research Topics
A. Does success entail talent?
B. The effects of self-efficacy, optimism, and pessimism
C. Perseverance, the ultimate success insurance?
D. Being judged by what we finish
E. The benefits and drawbacks of helping
others
F. Do men need women?
III. Overall
Conclusion
IV. References
Introduction
As a student enrolled in
Psychology 459 at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, a course taught by Dr. Leon
James, the first report due this semester was the Annotated Bibliography
Report. For this report, I researched six different topics using internet
search engines. I have broken down each topic into six subtopics: introduction
of the research topic, stages in my search development, a summary of my
findings, my conclusion and opinion based on the findings, thoughts into
researching the topic further, and advice to future generations. The findings
section for each topic includes summaries of pertinent information and links to
the original web sources.
At the beginning of the
semester, when I was starting to choose which topics I wanted to do research
on, I wanted to have some kind of underlying theme. I wanted to be able to tie
together the six different research questions into a cohesive whole. I have
thus titled my report as “The Realm of Success” because I believed
the following research topics encompassed the concept of success in their own
aspects.
This report will cover
attributes of successful people, the effects of self-efficacy, perseverance,
being judged by what a person finishes, the benefits of helping others, and
evidence that men and women need each other.
Research
Topic 1: Does success entail talent?
Introduction
Talent
is not the sole determiner of success. Although talent may be helpful in
certain situations, successful people possess certain qualities that separate
them from unsuccessful people.
Stages in search
development
In
the quest of searching at http://www.google.com
for articles that would support the claim “Many successful people are no
more talented than unsuccessful people,” I found many articles that dealt
with success in business and linked to (religious) inspiration. When I used
broad terms such as “talents of successful people” or
“unsuccessful people,” I did not find many meaningful articles. The
more specific search phrase “many successful people are no more talented
than unsuccessful people” returned a good number of results with fairly
good articles.
Findings
At http://dictionary.reference.com,
the American Heritage Dictionary defines talent as a “natural endowment or ability of a superior quality.” This definition is quite ambiguous
because the word “natural” can be associated with the word
“endowment” or also with the phrase “ability of a superior
quality.” The word “natural” itself means “not
acquired, inherent” (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=natural).
However, at http://www.stimulus.com/v/4/mind/perseverance.html,
the author has a different perspective for the definition of talent in regards
to people. “Now people who are called
‘naturally talented’ are merely people that gained an interest in a
particular skill early in life.”
In the article
“The
13 Characteristics of Successful People,” Mayer (2003) states that
successful people have the following things in common: 1) they have a dream, 2)
they have a plan, 3) they have specific knowledge or training, 4) they’re
willing to work hard, and 5) they don’t take no for an answer. “When you find you need a skill or talent you
don’t have, just go out and look for a person or group of people with the
skills, talents, and training you need.” By following their
plans of action, you too can replicate their results.
“Skill can easily be developed by acquiring new, how-to
information, and then doing some practice. So, there’s an idea…do some
experiential learning and enhance your current abilities. Remembering that
know-how is no good unless it becomes do-how”
(Palin-Brinkworth). http://www.positivepath.net/ideasCP3.asp
Jeannie
(2002) has a similar view in regards to finding out how others have achieved
success in order to do the same as well. However, she believes that “people fail, not because they cannot succeed, but
because they are unwilling to risk what they have.” Taylor
(n.d.) agrees that “many of us get stuck
in what is termed our ‘comfort zone’…that it takes as much or
more effort to remain in our comfort zones than it does to stretch and become
all we are capable of being.”
According
an article titled “Reaching Your Potential,” which can be found at http://www.eagleexecutive.com.au/Executive%20Club/Exec-7.html,
there are three zones that people live in. These three zones are the challenge,
comfort, and coasting zones.
|
Challenge Zone |
Comfort Zone |
Coasting Zone |
|
It is this zone that people
try to do what they haven’t done yet |
It is this zone that people
do what they are good at |
It is this zone that people
do what they did yesterday |
|
This is where people reach
their potential |
I do what I know I can do |
I begin to rely on my past |
|
This is where people are
‘tomorrow’ focused |
I know where my strengths
are |
I’ve done it before |
|
This zone guarantees demand
‘tomorrow’ |
I have a proven track
record |
These people are historians |
|
This zone guarantees
‘future security’ |
I can excel here |
|
|
|
This is where I can realize
my potential ‘today’ |
|
Table 1. Descriptions of the challenge, comfort, and
coasting zones.
http://www.eagleexecutive.com.au/Executive%20Club/Exec-7.html
|
|
Disadvantages |
Advantages |
Challenge zone
|
• Not achieving your
goals today • don’t perform
when stretched |
• encourages growth |
|
Comfort zone |
• you’re not
growing |
• encourages
strengths |
|
Coasting zone |
• limits your
production |
• gives you time to
re-group |
Table 2. Disadvantages and advantages of the three
zones.
http://www.eagleexecutive.com.au/Executive%20Club/Exec-7.html
As
stated in the article, “There are some
things you did yesterday that you shouldn’t be doing today. Seventy-five
percent of our time should be in the Comfort zone, 20% in the Challenge zone,
and 5% in the Coasting zone.”
This
so-called fear of failing hinders any plan of action. Bill Harris (n.d.) considers
failure to be a sign of your plan needing revision. Listed below are his steps
that will help you to achieve anything:
Step 1: Know where you are. Be clear and
realistic about where you are, what you have, what your circumstances are.
Step 2: Know where you want to be. Have
a specific end in mind.
Step 3: Take action toward that end,
based on the best plan you can come up with at the time. Don’t wait, just
move, act, do.
Step 4: Notice what happens.
Step 5: Readjust your plan based on the
feedback from Step 4 and take more action.
Step 6: Continue to repeat Steps 4 and 5
until you have achieved your goal.
Conclusion
In response to the
claim “Many successful people are no more talented than unsuccessful
people,” it is true and false, depending on the situation. Based on the
assumption that a person only needs desire, persistence, and opportunity, they
can attain success in a situation where talent is not required. Being so-called
talented means that a person is considerably adept at a particular task.
Instead of talent, I would rather use the word “skilled.” There are
some situations where talent/skill is a must; talent is needed to win various
competitions and to develop reliable professional careers.
However,
although some qualities are more useful in certain situations, there seems to
be a few that can be attributed to success in whatever time, task, or field.
These select few include desire, perseverance, and opportunity.
Also,
the definition of success is different for each person. What one might consider
success may merely be considered as a small step toward a given direction.
Success could be learning to write your name when you were in kindergarten or
being one of the richest people in the world. Having that said, there will
never be just one list of qualities that everyone can take to heart and trust
to lead them to success.
Taking it further
I
would look at the people Maslow considered self-actualized individuals. He
developed a certain criteria in choosing them and by understanding his process
of selection, I can discover another perspective in labeling people successful
or unsuccessful.
I
could also compare different meanings of success in different cultures. This
would entail looking at values they uphold and instill in younger generations.
Advice to future
generations
Choose
the definition of talent you would like to find evidence for – is talent
an innate ability or a learned skill?
An
important aspect that might be overlooked in the search for an answer to this
claim is the context in which the word “success” is being used. I
suggest that narrowing this broad topic to a particular situation–how to
be successful in business, in college, in gardening, in baking, and so on. By
focusing on your meaning of success, whatever it may be, will make delineating
qualities that ensure success easier.
Find
several different articles that list such qualities, no matter what field they
are for, and look for similarities. Which qualities seem to appear in all
lists? This could give you an idea of what most people think are the most
important qualities an individual should possess to ensure success.
Research
Topic 2: The effects of self-efficacy, optimism, and pessimism
Introduction
Believing
in yourself is one of the main driving factors for attaining success. If this
was true, then why are there people who disagree that it is not good to believe
in positive outcomes?
Stages in search
development
I
used the search engine http://www.google.com
to look for opposing views, optimism/self-efficacy vs. cynicism/pessimism.
Using the following search phrases led to a number of useful articles:
“optimism, self-efficacy, pessimism” and “cynicism is
good.” I used the same phrases in http://www.yahoo.com
just to try out another search engine, but the list of results was very similar
to the list provided by Google. The search was not troublesome; I was able to
find a number of useful articles.
Findings
Dr.
Sergej Dudij (2002) points out that the one interesting difference between
successful and unsuccessful people is in the way they think. “Successful people clearly know what they want and they
think about how to get it. In contrast, unsuccessful people tend to think and
talk about what they don’t want most of the time.” http://www.time-management-guide.com/success.html
These
are a few lines from the poem “If You Think You Can” by an unknown
author:
“For out in the
world you’ll find
success begins with a person’s
will;
It’s all in the state of mind.
Life’s battles don’t
always seem to
go the strongest or fastest man,
but sooner or later the man who wins
is the one who thinks he can.”
http://www.mcfeth.com/Success.htm
Mayer
(2003) has the same point of view. “Success
begins with a state of mind. You must believe you’ll be successful in
order to become a success.”
Dr.
Albert Bandura, a well-known cognitive theory psychologist, said that “The capacity to exercise control over one’s own
thought processes, motivation and action is a distinctively human
characteristic. Because judgment and actions are partly self-determined, people
can affect change in themselves and their situations through their own efforts.”
(http://www.loutice.com/LIBRARY/TechPaper.html,
n.d., Overview section, para. 6)
He goes on to say that, “Individuals with a strong sense of self-efficacy generally perform at higher levels, in part because they consider setbacks and difficult obstacles as challenges. Individuals who question their self-efficacy view challenges and setbacks as threats, resulting in ‘low aspirations and weak commitment to the goals they choose to perform” (http://www.loutice.com/LIBRARY/TechPaper.html, n.d., Self-Efficacy and How It Works section, para. 2).
Figure 1. Flow chart of development of self-efficacy.
http://www.css.edu/users/dswenson/web/OB/attributionth.html
According to a scientific study done by Ralf Schwarzer and Reinhard Fuchs (1995), self-efficacy plays a part in several health behaviors such as nutrition and weight control, physical exercise, and quitting smoking. Overweight people responded best to behavioral treatment when they had a high sense of self-efficacy and an internal locus of control. Self-efficacy was also an influential force in making intentions to exercise and maintaining them over an extended period of time. In the case of quitting smoking, those with the highest levels of self-efficacy remained successful when assessed at the end of one year. http://www.fu-berlin.de/gesund/publicat/conner9.htm
Figure 2. General overview of external and internal
loci of control.
http://www.css.edu/users/dswenson/web/OB/attributionth.html
In
the article Peak Performance, Self Esteem, and Self Efficacy, it states that
“Self esteem and self efficacy are central
to the sustained success of any individual. They combine to formulate a
powerful vaccine against distress, depression, helplessness, dependency, and
irrational cognition. They are the key to optimism, positive behavior change
and the achievement of goals. How can one expect to reach their potential if
they do not believe in themselves and their ability to accomplish what they
take on.” http://www.imt.net/~randolfi/esteem.html
Self-efficacy
is not only attributed to the success in developing good health habits, but is
also a contributing factor to elderly’s maintenance of a high level of
mental function. The other factors, which the MacArthur Foundation’s
Study of Aging in America reported, were having a strong support system, reduced
feelings of isolation, and regular physical activity. http://www.alsuccess.com/articles/081feat3.html
According
to optimism/pessimism studies and reviews done by John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur,
“optimism has been related to other routes
to biological endpoints, including the use of more active and problem-focused
coping strategies, greater psychological well-being, and better health habits”
(MacArthur, 1998, Relationship to Health section, para. 4). Pessimism, on the
other hand, was associated to poorer health.
http://www.macses.ucsf.edu/Research/Psychosocial/notebook/optimism.html
Conclusion
There
are studies that show self-efficacy, the belief in yourself and in positive
outcomes, correlate with success and better health. I think it is healthy for
individuals to be more optimistic than pessimistic and to have a good deal of
self-efficacy. Believing in yourself is motivation in itself to accomplish
goals.
Taking it further
Self-efficacy
and locus of control seem to go hand in hand and therefore, I would do more
reading on locus of control. These two concepts are also linked to Attribution
Theory. It will be well worth it to link the concept of success with
Attribution Theory.
Advice to future
generations
When
you are looking up self-efficacy, also look up locus of control. Think of other
factors that affect success such as an individual’s personality and
environment.
Research
Topic 3: Perseverance, the ultimate success insurance?
Introduction
Perseverance,
as defined by http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=perseverance,
is “steady persistence in adhering to a
course of action, a belief, or a purpose; steadfastness.” It seems logical that when being persistent at
something, it will ultimately lead to the accomplishment of a
goal—plainly, success.
Stages in search
development
I
used http://www.google.com to look for
examples and evidence that success comes through perseverance. I had some
difficulty at first because the search phrases I was using did not bring up
relevant information. When I typed in “success is hanging on,“ I
had sites about hanging/mounting pictures and hanging out with friends; the
words “giving up” produced too many results related to sports; and
“benefits/evidence of perseverance” returned many religious links.
The most useful term was just “perseverance.”
Findings
Calvin
Coolidge was quoted, “Nothing can take the
place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful
men with talent” (Palin-Brinkworth).
At http://www.topachievement.com/persevere.html,
there is an online quiz that determines your ability to persevere and tips to
raise your “perseverance quotient” if it is deemed too low. Some of
these tips include identifying counterproductive habits or thoughts you would
like to discontinue, considering the source when getting advice, and
intentionally selecting positive re-enforcement. Afterall, “perseverance and failure cannot coexist. Failure
happens when you quit. When all is said and done, perseverance, commonly
referred to as ‘stick-to-itiveness,’ is the ultimate success
insurance.”
As
Edward Eggleston said, “Persistent people
begin their success where others end in failure.” http://www.randomterrain.com/quotes/success.html
Figure 3. Diagram of task difficulty and success
threshold.
http://www.stimulus.com/v/4/mind/perseverance.html
Persistence
is unrelenting effort that spans a period of time. As illustrated by this
diagram, the difficulty of a task increases through time, but once it hits the
success threshold, it levels off. This sustained level of difficulty is taken
at face value by some people, interpreting it as an insurmountable barrier and
therefore quit.
If
being recognized by others with words of praise is not enough, Fortis, Inc. is
a company that chooses 12 individuals yearly to receive the Perseverance Award.
The recipients are chosen based on the degree that they have demonstrated
resilience, proactivity, conscientiousness, and willpower in facing their
trying situations. One such recipient is Mike Allen of Grand Lake, Oklahoma. He
dealt with a grueling bout of cancer. When things started looking brighter for
him, his wife was diagnosed with cancer, though not as life-threatening as his
cancer was. Allen then had to care of his wife. http://www.fortisbenefits.com/fbic/fortisbenefits/company/press_re/allen.htm
Conclusion
Success
does come through perseverance. If you do not put time and effort into
something, how can you ever accomplish anything? I believe that everything we
set out to do requires time and effort. Time and effort entail persistence.
Just putting effort into reaching a goal, even if it takes a long time, is
persistence. It is only through persistence, not quitting, that will lead to
success.
I
understand why people might resort to quitting instead of hanging on until they
have achieved their goals. In fact, it could be that it was not a matter of
quitting, but delaying. People have become so busy nowadays that some goals are
put aside while priority tasks are given the utmost importance. As for those
who have given up and do not intend on persevering, maybe they will regret
later in life that they have not done something they had set out to do. Regret
and discontent can then motivate them to keep moving again. If not, I say, make
another goal, a small, realistic one, and have others help you reach it.
Afterall,
one of the worst dilemmas you could experience is face impending death while
overwhelmed with regret over things you could have done during your life, but
failed to do so.
Taking it further
I
would try to find factors that help motivate people to persevere. I would like
to know if regret over a goal unachieved can actually provide impetus for a
person to reflect on his/her shortcomings and help him/her develop a more
realistic plan on how to achieve it.
Advice to future
generations
Reflect
on how you have achieved goals. Think of factors that helped you persevere,
especially through difficult times and situations. Did you have a dependable
support network? Were you always competitive and felt the need to be better
than others at certain things? Analyzing your understanding and experience with
perseverance can help you search for more information regarding this subject
matter.
Research
Topic 4: Being judged by what we finish
Introduction
In a
society where success is based on accumulated wealth and the character of a
college student is determined by the amount of A’s or extra-curricular
activities listed on a transcript and resume, it is likely that people will
judge you by what you finish, not necessarily by what you start.
Stages in search
development
I
did not have much trouble finding articles that supported the claim “we
are judged by what we finish, not by what we start” in http://www.google.com. Using the exact phrase
did not produce as many results as I would have liked, but I did come across a
few articles that were meaningful.
Findings
“Success does not happen despite failure, it happens
because of failure” (Harris). People interchange
the term “failure” with something they have not yet accomplished.
They fail to recognize that this early so-called failure is just a prelude to
big success. Look at Thomas Edison who went through 586 failures to find the
right filament for the light bulb. His assistant told him, “It’s a shame to have tried 586 times and failed,”
in which Edison replied, “We do not have
586 failures. We have 586 victories! We now know 586 things that won’t
work…and therefore won’t have to be tried again!” http://www.stlukes-hou.org/Sermons/JM050502.htm
“Every achievement, from finishing a tiny scrap of
writing, to placing the call we’ve been avoiding, to the completion of
that six month project, is worthy of noting and celebrating. Whether it is a
grin of satisfaction, a mark ticked on a list or the dance of joy performed in
solitude; every celebration honours past efforts and prepares us for the next
activity” (de Jager, 2002). http://www.technobility.com/docs/tppage179.htm
Conclusion
Society
places more emphasis and recognition on what is accomplished rather than the
effort put into accomplishing that goal. Sometimes, the effort is praised but
usually after a task has been completed. People cannot celebrate success
without looking back at the obstacles they overcame; they cannot accurately
reflect on these obstacles if they have not yet reached their goals.
Everything
we do has some kind of mark that signals its finish line, its award, its end.
The word success is itself an indication of an accomplishment.
Taking it further
Finding
out how people have been treated during their progression towards an intended
goal will provide more insight into this subject matter. I could find out if
they are given any praise for the progress they have made or if they have been
irritated or ridiculed by others if it has been taking them more time and
effort than expected. What happens if they do not succeed? How do people treat
them?
Advice to future
generations
Research
two different views for this topic. You can gather evidence regarding the
treatment of individuals when they accomplish a goal and when they do not. From
your findings, you can determine how much society recognizes and admires
persistence, giving weight to the claim that people are judged by what they
finish.
Research
Topic 5: The benefits and drawbacks of helping others
Introduction
In
western culture where individualism is highly cultivated and praised, it seems
difficult for people to think of others and their needs instead of just
themselves and of ways they can attain more wealth, success, and recognition.
They fail to recognize that in the giving of themselves, they receive more in
return. By helping others, they help themselves.
Stages in search
development
Using
http://www.google.com, I started my search
using the phrase “helping yourself by helping others.” I did not
find any meaningful articles. Instead, there were many advertisements for books
and places to volunteer. I then changed my search phrase to “helping
yourself by volunteering” and this proved to be more successful. I also
tried to use www.skworm.com, but was
unsuccessful probably because I was unfamiliar with it and did not know how to
navigate through the site efficiently. Unlike Google that is just one search
engine, there are several offered by Skworm.
Findings
It
was Abraham Lincoln who said, “As you grow
older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the
other for helping others.” There are many ways you can help
yourself by helping others. Altruism is learned at an early age and can be
practiced for a lifetime. Other inspirational quotes regarding helping others
can be found at: http://www.dailycelebrations.com/090200.htm
In an article written
by Dr. Robert Hughes (2000), he stresses the concept that young children have
to be taught how to help. Learning how to help early in life is a key factor in
building strong relationships with others. They see that common types of help
occur everyday. Common types of help include encouraging and praising someone
who has done something well and thanking someone who has helped them. Helpful
children help cheer others when they are sad by talking about the sad moments
they have had or by encouraging them to take part in an activity.
Children
learn how to help by watching adults and by adults praising them for being
helpful. This lesson does not only help them learn how to empathize with
others, but also helps them understand the value of making others feel good
through kindness and experience the reward of feeling proud of themselves for
doing good deeds.
http://www.hec.ohio-state.edu/famlife/divorce/pguides/sp7.htm
According
to a survey conducted by the Gallup Organization for Independent Sector, 59% of
teenagers in the United States volunteered 3.5 hours a week in one (unstated)
year. Volunteering helps the volunteers in many ways; meeting new people,
visiting new places, hearing new ideas, gaining practical experience and
learning opportunities, helping improve time management skills, and exploring
different interests. http://www.adventuresineducation.org/aiemail/issues/20021202.html
The
same survey reported that 56% of American adults volunteered in 1998. Because
the elderly have more time on their hands, they can volunteer their time to
share their knowledge and talents with others, all the while making new friends
and learning new skills from them. http://www.seniorcitizensguide.com/articles/vol/volunteering.htm
Helping others can
also be a stress buster. Besides taking time out for fun and exercising,
getting involved with other people and activities can keep you from being
lonely, depressed, and bored.
http://www.click-for-news.to/TotalHealthLibrary/0101/e527.html
Conclusion
There
is no doubt that by helping others, you help yourself in more ways than one.
There is much to receive in the giving of oneself. When working with other
people, you build people skills—improve your oral communication skills,
leadership, understanding and tolerance of different groups of peoples and
practices. At the same time, you can also learn new skills and develop new
interests from spending time with others. You can help yourself academically,
socially, emotionally, physically, and mentally.
Just
spending time with even one person makes a difference. The person you are
helping will (hopefully) be grateful for your contributions and appreciate all
your efforts. You, in turn, can feel that by helping one person in the
community, you have helped the whole community in your little way. It makes you
and the other person feel good. When you feel happy, you make others happy, and
the permeation of good act continues.
Taking it further
As
one of the coordinators of the Bin-I Project, a volunteer tutoring program
initiated by the Office of Multicultural Student Services at the University of
Hawaii at Manoa, I would read over volunteers’ journals and look for
evidence that while helping public school students improve their English
skills, they are gaining valuable experience in working with children, are
improving their social and communication skills, and increasing their knowledge
of immigrant and low-income populations. Their reflections on their
volunteering experience can be a piece of evidence that by helping others, they
have helped themselves.
Advice to future
generations
You
can cover many areas under this topic. You can focus on the benefits of
volunteering, programs that provide support for bereaving families, or
individuals helping their significant other improve some aspect of their life.
Even if you were to focus on just one particular area, you will probably have
enough material to write about and reference in your report.
Research
Topic 6: Do men need women?
Introduction
At a
time when sexism is prominent, too much attention and effort is exerted in
condemning one sex and praising the other. Does the saying, “behind every
(great/successful) man is a woman” hold true? What about the claim that
women need men? Should one sex depend and listen to the other?
Stages in search
development
I
did not have difficulty in searching for information regarding men and
women’s roles in relationships. This is a controversial subject in which
men and women swap claims that one sex needs the other, that one sex is better
than the other, and so on. Gender roles, which make up only one aspect under
the larger subject category—men and women’s roles, is a huge topic
in itself.
I
wanted to focus more on men and women’s roles in relationships. I used
search phrases such as “gender roles” and “differences
between men and women” in http://www.google.com,
but the most helpful phrase was “men and women in successful
relationships.” This search
term produced only ten hits. From one website alone (www.upliftprogram.com), which was a
site dedicated to improving relationships, I was able to pull out a few
articles.
Findings
Compared
to 93% of men who have a justice focus, 62% of women do; compared to 7% of men
have a care focus, 38% of women do. “Women,
giving us a different moral perspective from males, can help all of us be more
caring, more responsible, and less aggressive. Thus, we all need to
‘learn to think like a woman’ as well as like a man. Think of the
changes that might occur if world leaders were committed to justice and to
responsible caring, rather than just to defending our rights and possessions
with weapon” (http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap3/chap3j.htm).
“For some reason to say ‘I need a
man/woman,’…in some people’s minds implies that the person is
weak or unable to fend for themselves in some manner. Saying “I need
you,” does not make you needy” (Rashad). There will
always be people who will say that men need women while others retaliate with
the notion of women needing men. Yet, for others, there should be a
compromise—an agreement that men and women need each other and they both
can learn things from one another.
http://www.wttk.org/nourishment/domenneedwomen.htm
This
debate of one sex needing the other has stemmed from the deeply rooted concept
of gender roles permeated by our society. At an early age, children are
encouraged to follow such standards as established by our culture. Males are
raised to be breadwinners, tough, and powerful while women are encouraged to be
nurturing, attractive and weak. However, since the 1960’s, “women,
especially educated women, started to realize that life was surely more than
buying hamburgers and driving the kids to music lessons or ball practice.
Women, clearly capable of achieving in the work place, resented being forced
into unrewarding homemaker roles; they wanted to have their freedom, to be
liberated” (http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap9/chap9p.htm).
Since
then, many more women have entered the work force. “Several factors may affect the relation between close
relationships and career salience, namely, 1) characteristics of the individual
(education and employment status, gender ideology, gender role identity), 2)
characteristics of the relationship (e.g., dependence on the partner, presence
or not of children), and 3) characteristics of the partner (e.g., gender
ideology, education attainment)” (Moya, 2000).
http://www.findarticles.com/cf_dis/m2294/2000_May/65306522/p1/article.jhtml
There
is much evidence that show women still undertaking traditional roles. They
still do most of the household chores and responsibilities in raising children.
I found very few articles about men who help with household tasks, but there is
no doubt that there are men who have switched roles with their wives. “Trophy husbands arm candy? Are you kidding? While
their fast-track wives go to work, stay-at-home husbands mind the kids. They
deserve a trophy for trading places” (Morris, 2002). This
arrangement has definitely helped these couples; the men are not belittled, but
rather, praised for their doings.
http://www.fortune.com/fortune/women/articles/0,15114,370514,00.html
However,
“even if a man in a relationship believes
he should share responsibility in cooking, doing the laundry, and shopping for
groceries, shared responsibility is more of an ideal than a reality”
(Bond-Zielinski). She believes that people should dismiss the thought of
“lending a hand” because it implies that particular tasks are
someone else’s duties. Hence, it is important for people to discuss their
roles and their needs. http://east.osu.edu/cbz/Radio%207role%20relationships.htm
Learning
to accept these types of well-defined roles and role-reversals is one of the
three R’s that make for a successful relationship. The other two
R’s include requirements (the needs) and rituals (Fortinberry). Needs (requirements)
must be clearly expressed. Each person must know the needs of the other and
what is expected of him/her. Besides knowing each other’s needs,
maintaining rituals is also important. Rituals such as the good-bye kiss and
daily call from work help reassure the other person of the relationship,
especially during difficult times. http://upliftprogram.com/article_relatetip.html
Conclusion
Men
need women, women need men; they need each other. They can work together to
make their relationship stronger and more meaningful. Society’s
standpoint of traditional gender roles should not take precedence over what
couples want and need to do to make their lives easier and their roles more
fair.
Though
it might take a lot of time and compromise to reach equality between the sexes
in society, it is more practical to start off in a small setting—a
relationship. Even though gender roles are deeply rooted in our society, individuals
can initiate changes in their relationships. These changes would entail
learning how to understand each other’s communication styles, assign
tasks according to one’s skill or interest rather than gender, and being
open-minded to the concept of the relationship being a partnership not a
dominance competition.
The
differences in one person compensate for the differences in the other person.
In other words, both sexes will always need improvement in some area of their
lives and they can always learn from each other how to make their lives more of
a success.
Taking it further
Besides
focusing on which sex has more to offer and teach the other sex, I would like
to find out which sex has more credibility at a younger age. Do male children
seem more credible when teaching other males or females and vice versa? Do they
listen more to other males or females? I would like to see if there is a
difference between such childhood and adult relationships.
Advice to future
generations
In
the search for women and men’s roles, there are many aspects that can be
reviewed. You should focus on some aspect regarding women and men’s
roles. It could be their particular roles in the workplace, in the home, in
intimate relationships.
Take
a look at your own relationships and see if you can put into practice any of
the concepts presented at the aforementioned websites. Analyze your
relationships – find out if one partner is being more influential than
the other, if you need to change some things in your relationship. Talk it out
and perhaps incorporate some ideas gradually into the relationship.
Overall Conclusion
I hope that I have shown you
how the different research topics have all fit under one large theme –success.
In order to be successful, a person must identify and possess attributes that
will help in the journey of achieving a goal. One of these attributes could be
talent, but seemingly more important ones include perseverance and
self-efficacy. People do not want to fail, moreover quit because society judges
people by what they finish. Being successful brings about praise, but being
unsuccessful does not bring forth much positive criticism.
It is important and rewarding
to help others. By helping them, you are helping yourself gain more experience
in a certain field, improve the skills you already possess, and meet people
that could help you attain your goal. Having that said, men and women can
definitely learn things from one another. Men could learn to be more
care-focused and women could learn to be more assertive in letting others know
about her needs.
The bottom line is that
success starts from within. Before you can conquer the world, you must first
believe in yourself and work on personal goals. After being in touch with your
inner-self, only then can you make positive, lasting change in your environment
and leave favorable impressions on others.
References
Research
Topic 1: Does success entail talent?
1) Perseverance. (n.d.).
Retrieved February 16, 2003 from
http://www.stimulus.com/v/4/mind/perseverance.html
2) Mayer, J.J. (2003, January 23). The 13 Characteristics
of Successful People. Retrieved
January
23, 2003 from
http://www.succeedinginbusiness.com/JMArticles/13characteristics.shtml
3) Palin-Brinkworth, C. (n.d.). What’s the Real
Secret of Successful People?
Retrieved February 25, 2003 from http://www.positivepath.net/ideasCP3.asp
4) Jeannie. (2002, September 1.) Why People Fail.
Retrieved February 24, 2003 from
http://board.russwhitney.com/cgi/topic_show.cgi?tid=4099
5) Taylor, R. (n.d.). Why Do People Fail? Retrieved
February 24, 2003 from
http://www.onlineorganizing.com/Organizer_Article_Why_Do_People_Fail.htm
6) Reaching Your Potential. (n.d.). Retrieved January 23,
2003 from
http://www.eagleexecutive.com.au/Executive%20Club/Exec-7.html
7) Harris, B. (n.d.). Secrets of Success: How to Be a
Perfect Failure. Retrieved
January 23, 2003 from http://chetday.com/secretofsuccess.htm
Research
Topic 2: The effects of self-efficacy, optimism, and pessimism
8) If You Think You Can. (n.d.). Retrieved February 16,
2003 from
http://www.mcfeth.com/Success.htm
9) Dudij, S. (2002). Personal Goal Setting and Success.
Retrieved January 23, 2003
from http://www.time-management-guide.com/success.html
10) A Curriculum Based on the Foundations of Modern Cognitive Science. (n.d.). Retrieved
February 11, 2003 from http://www.loutice.com/LIBRARY/TechPaper.html
11) Attribution Theory. (n.d.). Retrieved February 25,
2003 from
http://www.css.edu/users/dswenson/web/OB/attributionth.html
12) Schwarzer, R. & Fuchs, R. (1995). Self-Efficacy
and Health Behaviours. Retrieved
February
11, 2003 from http://www.fu-berlin.de/gesund/publicat/conner9.htm
13) Peak Performance, Self
Esteem, and Self Efficacy. (n.d.). Retrieved February 18, 2003
from http://www.imt.net/~randolfi/esteem.html
14) Montague, J. (n.d.). A Wellness Perspective for
Successful Aging. Assisted Living.
Retrieved February 11, 2003 from http://www.alsuccess.com/articles/081feat3.html
15) MacArthur, J.D. & MacArthur, C.T. (1998, July).
Optimism/Pessimism. Retrieved
February
28, 2003 from
http://www.macses.ucsf.edu/Research/Psychosocial/notebook/optimism.html
Research
Topic 3: Perseverance, the ultimate success insurance?
16) Perseverance Quotient.
(n.d.). Retrieved February 16, 2003 from
http://www.topachievement.com/persevere.html
17) Quotes on Success.
(n.d.). Retrieved January 23, 2003 from
http://www.randomterrain.com/quotes/success.html
18) Martellaro, J. (n.d.).
Oklahoma Man Wins Perseverance Award WillReturn Council
recognizes
battle with cancer. Retrieved February 16, 2003 from
http://www.fortisbenefits.com/fbic/fortisbenefits/company/press_re/allen.htm
Research Topic 4: Being judged by what we finish
19) Moore, J.W. (2002, May
5). Finishing What We Start. Retrieved February 18,
2003 from http://www.stlukes-hou.org/Sermons/JM050502.htm
20) de Jager, P. (2002).
Truth Picks. Retrieved January 31, 2003 from
http://www.technobility.com/docs/tppage179.htm
Research
Topic 5: The benefits and drawbacks of helping others
21) Daily Celebrations.
(2000). Retrieved February 3, 2003 from
http://www.dailycelebrations.com/090200.htm
22) Hughes, R. (n.d.). Helping
Children Learn About Kindness. Retrieved February 3, 2003
from
http://www.hec.ohio-state.edu/famlife/divorce/pguides/sp7.htm
23) Lend a Helping Hand.
(2002, December 2). Retrieved February 3, 2003 from
http://www.adventuresineducation.org/aiemail/issues/20021202.html
24) Williams, C. (n.d.).
Volunteering: Helping Others…And Yourself!. Retrieved February 3,
2003
from http://www.seniorcitizensguide.com/articles/vol/volunteering.htm
25) Beating Stress. (2001).
Retrieved February 3, 2003 from
http://www.click-for-news.to/TotalHealthLibrary/0101/e527.html
Research Topic 6: Do men need women?
26) Are women’s values
different from men’s values? Writing Your Own Philosophy of
Life. (n.d.) Retrieved February 23, 2003 from
http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap3/chap3j.htm
27) Rashad. (2002, March). Do
Men Need Women. Retrieved February 17, 2003 from
http://www.wttk.org/nourishment/domenneedwomen.htm
28) Competition and Feeling Superior to Others. (n.d.). Retrieved February 17, 2003 from
http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap9/chap9p.htm
29) Moya, M. (2000, May).
Close Relationships, Gender, and Career Salience.
Retrieved
February 17, 2003 from
http://www.findarticles.com/cf_dis/m2294/2000_May/65306522/p1/article.jhtml
30) Morris, B. (2002,
September 27). Most Powerful Women in Business. Fortune.
Retrieved
February 17, 2003 from
http://www.fortune.com/fortune/women/articles/0,15114,370514,00.html
31) Bond-Zielinski. (n.d.).
Role Relationships. Retrieved February 18, 2003 from
http://east.osu.edu/cbz/Radio%207role%20relationships.htm
32) Fortinberry, A. (n.d.).
The Three ‘R’s’ for Successful Relationships. Retrieved
February 23, 2003 from http://upliftprogram.com/article_relatetip.html
Back to Top II Back to my
Home Page II E-mail
me
G18
Class Home Page II Dr. Leon James'
Home Page II Other
Interesting Links
Syllabus II Forum
Discussion II Oral
Presentation Schedule II 459 Due
Dates
University of Hawaii at Manoa II College of Social Sciences II UH Dept. of Psychology