Dr. Deborah Tannen’s Talking from 9 to 5
Chapter 8:
What’s Sex Got to Do With It?
The
“Indeterminancy of Language” — Just as our sayings can be
misinterpreted, so can our actions, especially in the case of sexual
harassment.
A.
“The
same moves that are harmless in most situations, when done in a certain way,
become sources of discomfort if done in a different situation or in a different
way…” (p. 243)
B.
A
young American woman in two different settings:
1. As an intern at the Latin American branch office of an
American company, she felt uncomfortable because her boss kissed all the
secretaries every morning, including her. When she finally told him that she
did not like him doing so, he stopped greeting her altogether.
2. At another job, her boss “treated her with more
distance and formality” (p. 245). She considered the flowers he sent her
at the end of the summer to be a token of friendship, not of romantic interest.
a. According to sociologist Erving
Goffman, courtship and courtesy rituals are intertwined
A.
Meredith
Johnson and Tom Sanders (from Michael Crichton’s novel Disclosure)
1. She seduces him, then “pushes him onto the couch and
pinions him there” (p. 247)
B.
Gena Hutton
and Bob Packwood (from The New York Times Magazine)
1. When she was about to open her car door, “he just
reeled [her] around and grabbed [her] and pulled [her] close to him.” She
thought it was going to be a good-night hug, but then he “planted a full
kiss on her lips, wriggling his tongue into her mouth” (p. 247).
C.
In
regards to sexual behavior, society expects men to be aggressive and women to
be seductive.
A.
“a
cultural icon deeply associated with female characters in folk tales and
popular culture is the witch” (p. 249)
1. men fear a
loss of control that is due to attraction to women
B.
In
David Mamet’s play (Oleanna), Carol, a college student, falsely accuses her professor,
John, of sexual harassment and rape
A.
incident
when a woman rode in a taxi around midnight with the driver yelling at her all
the while
1. women’s view: considered experience to be frightening;
a serious offense for the taxi driver
2. men’s view: just yelling is not a serious offense
B.
casual
remarks by men à provoke fantasies (of violence) (p.
253)
1. boss who joked with a subordinate about throwing her on the
floor and making “mad, passionate love to her”
2. “I want to nail her properly”
3. “She’s wearing her knock-me-down-and-fuck-me-shoes”
A.
“But
the point is not that all men are violent. It is the awareness of the
possibility of violence, the knowledge that some men…are violent, that
creates this aura—even for women who have never been hit” (p. 254)
1. because men are usually bigger and stronger
2. example: Dr.
Tannen, many years younger then, being pinned against a
wall by an older boy she didn’t know while on her way to a grocery
store
B.
threat
of violence at work
1. Sargeant Wood said to Captain Carol
Barkalow, that if a fire broke out there, he would shoot all the women
2. highest-female placed executive had a
heated argument with a colleague over opening a new office in Chicago
C.
New
York Newsday
cartoon of Hillary Clinton having been mugged
D.
Review
of author’s book That’s Not What I Meant in The Washington Times
1. titled “Debbie Does Dialogue,” similar to a
title of a pornographic movie
2. review concluded that her husband should have beaten her
A.
sexual harassment can be experienced at any level of power
B.
high position not a protection
1.
female New York state senator having to climb over a man to get to her
seat
2. congresswoman Jill Long was
complimented by a male colleague about her appearance and said he was going to
chase her around
C.
leaving pornographic materials in sight can be disturbing
1.
to shock, embarrass, harass women?
D.
freshman class viewed Rising Sun at the Motion Picture
Association of America; saw a woman being raped repeatedly
A.
“faultable” (coined by Erving Goffman): “essence
in which someone can be embarrassed or made to feel in the wrong because they
have a particular characteristic” (p. 260)
1. “a woman can become faultable for
being female in any situation at any time”
(p. 260)
B.
women as objects of obscenity/”tainting”
1. on a national television call-in show,
caller made reference to a sexual body part
2.
congresswoman’s guest book had a listing for Dick Hurtz, 131 Penis
Drive
3. Graham Leonard, bishop of London,
believed that “any bishop’s hand would be ‘tainted’
after placing them on the head of a woman undergoing ordination” (p. 261)
4.
woman intern could not reside at Catholic teaching hospital
A.
distribution of power between writer and editor
1. Dr. Tannen was invited to
editor’s hotel room where he undressed in front of her
2. author insisted on dropping off his
manuscript at editor’s home; told her about
fantasies he had had about her
B.
doctor-patient relationship
1. female doctors more
likely to be addressed by their first names, be interrupted more
2. in The New England Journal Of Medicine,
survey found that 77% of
female doctors were sexually harassed by
male patients
3.
cases of clients being sexually harassed/abused by male doctors
A.
men and women seen as romantic partners in particular settings
(i.e. having dinner together)
A.
affair between a boss and subordinate can lead to favoritism;
excellent work by others can be dismissed and prevent promotions
B.
attraction can confuse or enhance office interactions
C.
decorative women
1. women hired based on their looks rather than
their abilities
a. older surgeons only had attractive
receptionists and secretaries
b. when placed an advertisement
“physician seeking office assistant,” many women appeared with
low-cut blouses and short skirts
2.
concept common in some countries
a.
in Japan, they are called “flowers of the workplace”
A.
actions and language have many meanings; conversational-style
differences can cause confusion and misunderstanding in the workplace
A.
Dr. Tannen’s advice:
1.
“…[to] urge women and men to appreciate the deep but
differing fears the phenomenon referred to as ‘sexual harassment’
engenders in the other” (p. 273)
a. “Men should try to understand
women’s abiding fear of male violence and their reluctance to offend by
stating that something makes them uncomfortable”
b.
women should try to understand men’s fear of being falsely accused
http://www.sxetc.org/library/genLibArticle.asp?CategoryID=1292&ArticleID=art_1403
A QUIZ: What Is Sexual
Harassment?
There’s
a difference between flirting, sexual harassment and sexual assault. Assign the
proper label for the following situations. (For the complete quiz, visit the
site above.)
•
Mike stares at Latasha non-stop during class. Sexual harassment
•
Nitasha loves wearing sexy clothes. Rob writes "slut" on her locker. Sexual harassment
•
When talking, Enrique touches Shamika’s arm. Flirting
•
In a crowded hallway, Matt grabs Diane’s breast. Sexual assault
•
Manuel sends Jenee flowers. Flirting
•
Robert and Matt show a sexual cartoon to Kim in class. She tells them to stop
and they do. Flirting
http://www.wastatepta.org/programs/advocacy/EveryTeenCounts/pradet10.htm
Every Teen Counts, October 1997
“Many
of the behaviors which constitute sexual harassment are also behaviors
associated with flirtation. For many students, this can be confusing. However,
the measure of whether or not the behavior is sexual harassment or flirting is
the perception of the person receiving the attention. The following is a
comparison between the perceptions observed in flirting and sexual
harassment:”
|
Flirting |
Sexual
Harassment |
|
Feels good, confident feeling |
Feels bad, demeaning |
|
Is reciprocal |
Is unwanted by the receiver |
|
Is non-threatening and complimentary |
Is threatening and insulting |
|
Builds the esteem of both parties |
Builds up the ego of the giver while tearing down the esteem of
the recipient |
|
Feels equal to both parties |
Gives one person power over another |
http://www.sexuality.org/l/activism/sexharas.html
Sexual Harassment
Info/Resources
Is
sexual harassment illegal?
Yes. Sexual Harassment is prohibited by Section
703 of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
Sexual Harassment includes unwelcome sexual
advances, requests for sexual favors and other verbal or physical conduct of a
sexual nature when:
• submission to
such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or
condition of an individual's employment,
•
submission to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the
basis for employment decisions affecting such individual, or
•
such conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an
individual's work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or
offensive working environment.
• Quid Pro Quo (This for
that)
-
committed
only by someone in the corporate structure who has the "Power to
Control" the victim's job destiny
o
includes
"pocketbook" injury, "put out or get out" demands,
"submit to my sexual requests or you will be fired, demoted, intimidated,
passed over for a promotion, or in some other way made miserable on the
job"
• Hostile Environment
-
can be
committed by anyone with whom the victim comes in contact with on the job
-
the
harasser creates an abusive work environment or interferes with the employee's
work performance through words or deeds
o
This
may include things such as discussion sexual activities, unnecessary touching,
commenting on physical attributes, displaying sexually suggestive pictures,
using demeaning or inappropriate terms, using unseemly gestures, ostracizing
workers of one gender by those of the other gender, granting job favors to
those who participate in consensual sexual activity, or using crude and
offensive language
• Power Plays
-
defined
as using one's position of authority, either implicitly or explicitly, to
coerce an employee into complying with sexual favors
-
the harasser
would be either a manager or supervisor
• Physical
-
includes things such as unwanted touching, fondling, patting,
hugging, pinching or kissing
-
the harasser could be a supervisor, subordinate, co-worker or even
a non-employee.
• Verbal
-
includes questions and comments about a person's sexual behavior,
sexually oriented jokes, comments about a person's body, conversations filled
with sexual innuendos and double
meanings
-
the harasser could be a supervisor, subordinate, co-worker or even
a non-employee
• Mental / Non-verbal
-
includes displaying sexually suggestive pictures or objects in the
work-place, ogling in a sexually demeaning manner, gesturing and making lewd
motions with one's body
-
the harasser could be a supervisor, subordinate, co-worker or non-employee.
•
The EEOC guidelines affirm that the victim's perception of sexual harassment is
controlling.
•
"Reasonable
Person" Standard
- standard by which to judge whether an action is harmful or offensive. The
EEOC guidelines specifically deal with "unwelcomed" sexual conduct
when it "has the effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual's
work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile or offensive work
environment."
•
The courts are now recognizing that men and women have different levels of
sensitivity. Conduct that does not offend many men may offend most women.
Several courts have held that since women are most often the recipients of
sexual harassment, the standard on which one decide if an action is sexual
harassment should be based on the "Reasonable Woman" standard.
•
Reasonable
Woman" Standard
- sexual remarks or touching may be intended not to harass, but if those
actions have the effect of making the recipient feel uncomfortable, humiliated,
embarrassed or unsafe in her working environment, they are sexual harassment.
Currently, thirteen states have adopted the "reasonable woman"
standard.
• Know your rights
Sexual
harassment is a violation of University policy. It is also prohibited under
Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, as amended, and Title IX of the
Education Amendments of 1972. You have a right to an educational or work environment
that is free of bias, intimidation, or hostility.
• State your objections at the time
Tell
the harasser that his/her behavior is unwelcome. Your response could prevent
future harassment from the person, especially if he or she did not realize the
behavior was offensive. Be specific in stating what you do or don't want to
happen, such as "Please call me by my name, not Honey," or
"Please don't tell that kind of joke in front of me."
• Tell someone
Talk
to a trusted friend, colleague, teacher or counselor. Ask for advice and
support to help stop the harassment.
• Document incidences
Keep
records in a journal or record the facts on a tape recorder. Keep track of
dates, places, times, witnesses and the nature of the harassment. You may need
this information if the harassment continues and you choose to file a
complaint.
• Write a letter
A
letter to the harasser can be an effective way to communicate one's objections
to certain behaviors. Such a letter should state: (a) the facts of the
situation, (b) the effects the behavior has had on the harassee, and (c) that
the harassee would like the behavior to stop.
• Report the Problem
Most
companies and schools have a sexual harassment policy and a process for
handling complaints. Check with your employer's human resource department or
with the school's counseling or student affairs departments to get information
on existing policies and procedures. If you can't find a policy on sexual
harassment, this does not mean you aren't protected from this behavior. You are
still protected by your State's laws and can take legal action. For more
information, contact the NATIONAL JOB PROBLEM HOTLINE at 1-800-522-0925
• If you observe possible sexual
harassment, do not ignore it.
• If you are a supervisor:
-
Ask the person you have observed as being sexually harassed if
such behavior bothers him/her.
-
Don't assume that it is all right because the individual being
harassed does not speak out.
-
If the victim expresses a negative attitude toward the behavior,
as a supervisor you should speak to the harasser about his/her conduct. Put a
stop to the harassment or remove the employee from the situation.
• If you are a co-worker:
-
If you observe sexual harassment toward another, comment on it to
the victim.
-
Offer to support that individual if she/he wishes to complain to
the supervisor or the Human Resources Department.
• If you are involved in an investigative
meeting, give as detailed information as possible.
http://www.feminist.org/911/harass_gk.html
SEXUAL
ABUSE TREATMENT CENTER
Harvor
Court
55
Merchant Street, 22nd floor
Honolulu,
HI 96813
Office:(808)
535-7600 (M-F, 8 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.)
24
hour Hotline: (808) 524-7273
Services
•
mostly sexual assault services
•
free medical exam within 72 hours (of sexual assault)
•
individual counseling (1st time free)
•
legal advocacy
|
9 to 5: National Association of Working Women 1-800-522-0925 |
National Victim Center 703-276-2880 1-800-FYI-CALL |
|
Equal Employment Opportunity Commission 1-800-669-EEOC |
National Women's Law Center 202-588-5180 |
|
Equal Rights Advocates 415-621-0672 1800-839-4372 24 hr line: 415-621-0505 |
Women's Bureau 1-800-827-5335 |
|
Mexican American Legal Defense and Education Fund (MALDEF) 213-629-2512 |
Women Employed 312-782-3902 |
|
National Bar Association, Women Lawyers Division 202-842-3900 |
Women's Law Project 215-928-9801 |
|
National Job Problem Hotline 1-800-522-0925 |
|
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Dates
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II College of Social Sciences
II UH
Dept. of Psychology