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My Experience with Newsgroups: Emotional Intelligence of Drivers by Marissa Muraoka |
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Table of Contents:
YIKES! SPIKES! LOOK OUT! DON'T
GET WISE WITH "THE FUZZ" LEARNING FROM A ROAD RAGE INCIDENT AVOID
DANGEROUS BEHAVIORS NOW WHAT?! - ROAD RAGE INCIDENTS DRIVING
WITH OPTIMISM "TRAFFIC WAVES" "BRAKE JOB" DEALING
WITH TAILGATERS
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YIKES! SPIKES!
I was driving down De Anza Blvd in Saratoga this
Saturday and noticed that on some of the manhole covers on the road were
spikes, about 3 inches or so high. I couldn?t see if they were metallic, but
they look like it.À I dodged them
naturally never seeing them before. Please visit the following web page and let the City of Cupertino know what you think. [ http://www.cupertino.org/update/sound/sound.htm ] I think it?s irresponsible and a safety hazard to have these things in the road.À The natural instinct is to try and avoid anything that looks like a tire spike!À How the hell were we supposed to know they were rubber until AFTER we ran over them. As for the comments about driving slower?the speed limit on De Anza is 40 mph?kind of hard to anticipate and brake for something smaller than a squirrel and pointy and even 20 mph. I believe they are rubber used to mark manhole covers, but right after the paving, I too joined the leagues of drivers swerving to avoid them. Please tell Cupertino that you think it?s a safety hazard and irresponsible and that their paving contractor should know better ---------- My thoughts: Seeing something that closely resembles spikes on the road will cause alarm.À The natural response of people is to swerve around the obstacle to avoid causing any damage to their car.À At the sight of the spikes, those drivers must have had a flood of emotions run through them, ?to the degree that it enhanced the ability to think and plan,? as Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence would say (p. 80).À This is a good example of why a driver must be alert at all times.À They must be able to look ahead, catch sight of cars swerving, and be able to make a plan of what they could do when they reach that spot of road.À In any event, it is a good thing that the spikes were not real, and that there were no accidents.
As for the comments about
driving slower?the speed limit on De Anza is 40 mph?kind of hard to
anticipate and brake for something smaller than a squirrel and pointy at even
20 mph. Well, if a person is following the recommended 1 car length for each 10 mph of speed and the speed is 40, they?d also be looking 4 car-lengths ahead.À This should be enough warning to avoid a road hazard. What I?m getting at is that a person should always be aware of what?s in the road, be it a cardboard box, a spike, a bicyclist, or an abandoned baby.À I?ve just seen the excuse used too often that ?I didn?t see the [bicyclist, driver changing his tire, Caltrans worker?] before I hit him.? ---------- My thoughts: David Kaye says that leaving an appropriate between you and the car ahead should be enough warning to avoid road hazards.À It seems like he either learned though personal experience, or does not want to repeat what he may have seen or heard (?I didn?t see the [bicyclist, driver changing his tire?] before I hit him.)À Leaving a safe distance between you and the car ahead of you may make all the difference in avoiding an accident, and will give sufficient time to react and maneuver the car safely.
Don't Get Wise with "the Fuzz"
A couple is driving down the highway when a cop pulls them over.À The cop walks up and says, ?You were doing eighty-five in a fifty-five.? The guy says, ?You know, officer, I was doing sixty the whole time, and then the last few minutes, I guess I was just keeping up with traffic and I wasn?t watching?? His wife says, ?That?s not true.À You were doing eighty-five or ninety the whole time.? He turns to her and says, ?Shut the f*** up.? The cop says, ?And I notice you haven?t got your seat belt buckled.? He says, ?Well, officer, I knew I had to show you my license, so I unbuckled my seat belt so I could bet out my wallet.?À His wife says, ?That?s not true.À You haven?t had it on the whole time.? He turns to her and says, ?What the f*** is wrong with you?À Shut up!? The cop walks around to the wife?s side and motions for her to roll down the window. He says, ?Does he always talk to you like that?? She says, ?Only when he?s drunk.? ---------- My thoughts: Irish submitted a short story about what not to do when a policeman pulls you over.À The driver in this story sure knew how to sweet-talk his way through the questions that he was asked.À There may be many drivers who do this and get away with their wrongful deeds.À Who knows, maybe after they are let loose with just a warning they cause an accident.À If a person who gets pulled over for speeding is given a ticket, why does that person still tend to speed?À Have they not learned their lesson?À What will it take for those people to slow down?
Learning from a Road Rage Incident
Since this NG has currently been discussing in depth the subject of road rage, I thought I?d share a short story about a serious one I was a witness to. Some years ago I was driving home somewhere in suburban O.C.À I pull up to a large intersection with an island as a divider and several other cars around me.À To my left, a Ford Explorer full of teenagers pull up.À Immediately after that, a red Toyota pickup with [a] male driver and [a] female pulls up behind the Explorer.À Driver of pickup comes out WITH A BASEBALL BAT and proceeds to SMASH the windows of the Explorer while yelling, ?Get the f*** out mother f******!À Get the f*** out!?À The sound of exploding glass is very distinctive.À I was so close I got hit with glass.À I hear screams and yells inside the Explorer. Explorer driver panics, gives it full throttle and full left steering lock to escape the carnage.À Remember that concrete island divider?À Explorer climbs over it at full power, full lock.À It flips over on its roof and slides to a stop on the OTHER SIDE of the road.À Driver of pickup sees this happen.À He jumps back into his truck.À Slams it in reverse and applies full power.À He reverses at around 50 mph all the way to the next intersection and makes a quick let out of there.À Cars were swerving left and right to avoid reversing pickup.À Because the Explorer was filled with teens who clearly didn?t have their seat belts on, a few of them were badly injured in the crash.À Many motorists pull over to assist teens in Explorer and call Police and Emergency units.À Many motorists took down the pickup?s license number and gave it to police.À There were many unbiased witnesses who saw the attack (although none saw what ignited it).À A week after this incident it was all over the local papers.À According to them, the driver of the pickup was apprehended, ID?ed by witnesses, and was charged with vehicular assault, assault with a deadly weapon, reckless driving, etc., etc.À He?s lucky nobody got killed or he would have faced manslaughter charges as well. So what?s my point?À My point is it?s not wise to participate in a violent road rage incident.À Even if the other person was clearly at fault, circumstances will sometimes play against the one extracting revenge for a wrongdoing.À In the case of the pickup truck driver, the teens in the Explorer may have very well endangered him and his girlfriend.À Perhaps they even threatened him.À Whatever the reasons how that incident got started we will never know.À Certainly the witnesses who saw the attack never knew why it happened.À All they really saw was this guy smashing this car?s windshields and threatening its occupants with bodily harm.À And this is exactly the information they gave to Police.À The pickup driver?s side of the story mattered little at that point.À Now, instead of a victim of malicious driving (I?m guessing this is why he got mad enough to attack in the first place), he is THE attacker.À In addition, I would imagine that the occupants of that Explorer learned their lessons that day.À In that regard, the driver of that pickup was successful in ?teaching them a lesson?.À But at what price?À In my opinion, the price he paid wasn?t worth it. Each time I feel like killing someone out on the road no matter how much they deserve it, I think back to the above incident to help me let the situation go.À I?m not always successful and end up having a verbal match.À I recently almost got into a fistfight over a traffic altercation and boy, am I glad it never got to that.À What if I really hurt someone?À I?d be sitting in a jail cell for sure kicking myself in the head and asking was it worth it?À What if I got hurt? I?m not casting the first stone at anyone.À I am as guilty as the next guy.À I just wanted to give the riders here (including myself) some pause BEFORE going after someone who, intentional or otherwise, does something stupid enough to get our blood boiling. Ride safe.À Even in the face of blatant stupidity! ---------- My thoughts: The author of this newsgroup learned that ?it is not wise to participate in a violent road rage incident.?À By delaying his impulse to attain instant gratification at lashing out at another person, it seems like he is finally learning to be responsible of his actions.À He has the right thinking process so far, ?What if I really hurt someone?À [Will it be] worth it?À What if I got hurt??À By talking things through with the other person who made you upset, and having each person, ?express their point of view in a way that would not accelerate the conflict into aggression? (Goleman, p. 266), you can learn how to better understand yourself and control your emotions.
Usually I just back off and let the a**hole go.À Twice I have not.À The first time was in 1980, when my bride of 1 year was almost run off the road by a drunk in a Mercedes who took issue with her being in the lane that he wanted to be in.À She was on a Honda CB125 on which she was learning to ride, and I was following her on my CB750F.À After he took two runs at her, forcing her to the gutter, he saw me pulling up beside him and drawing back my fist to smash into his window.À He took off, and I chased him at high speed.À He ran two red lights without pause; both times I slowed to check for oncoming traffic, then ran the lights myself and caught up to him.À He did not want to look over at me, but did when I started pounding on his window with my gloved fist.À I got a VERY good view of his face.À When the light changed, he took off at about 90 mph in a 45 mph zone.À I followed for about a ? mile, then pulled over, shaking like a leaf.À I wrote down his license plate on the back of my hand, circled back and met my wife; then we rode to the local police substation together.À We swore out a complaint, were driven to the man?s house by a police officer, identified him via a photo provided by his wife, and had the satisfaction of hearing him found guilty in absentia in court a couple of months later.À He was found guilty of reckless driving, reckless endangerment, and had his license suspended for 6 months and was fined $250 plus court costs. The second time was earlier this summer, when an asshole in a brand new (temporary tags) Jeep Grand Cherokee merged into my lane despite my Fiamms blaring.À His lane was ending, and he figured that I was small enough that I?d have to get out of his way.À I did too, after kicking a large dent in his front passenger door. The first one I?m proud of, and would do over again.À The second one I?m ashamed of, and still wonder what came over me and why I would do such a thing.À But road rage is the right term ? I was completely blind to rational thought in both instances. I hope to never repeat the second scenario.À I consider myself damned lucky that the Jeep driver didn?t just bunt me off the road and over the embankment down into the trees. ---------- My thoughts: Here we have the bully -- the drunk who
nearly runs a motorcyclist off the road, and a person in ?the rage
?rush?.À Tim Morrow, who sees the
incident takes justice into his own hands, and follows the bully in a
high-speed chase.À Although the bully
was found guilty of reckless driving, reckless endangerment, had his license
suspended, and was fined, Tim is also guilty of some traffic offenses.À Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
states, ?Dolf Zillman, a psychologist, who has conducted experiments on anger
and the anatomy of rage finds that it is no surprise that a universal trigger
for anger is the sense of being endangered. . .This energy surge lasts for
minutes. . .? (p. 60). Tim could have
sympathized and empathized for his wife, and that may have triggered him to
act on impulse.À Tim could have
reigned in his emotions in and contained it a bit so that his life and the
lives of others would not be endangered.À
The best thing to do in these situations where someone is driving in
an unsafe manner is write down their license plate number, report the
incident to the police, and distance yourself away from the reckless
motorist. Furthermore, Tim could still be endangering his life and others because he is still not being responsible for his actions.À What will kicking a large dent in the car of someone who made him upset solve?À Violence only leads to more violence.À This is not the way to solve a problem.À Even though he says that he ?was completely blind to rational thought in both instances, and would chase someone down again? Tim needs to change his thinking.À Perhaps a ?driving therapist? would be good for Tim to help him keep his cool in road rage incidents.À
Now What?! - Road Rage Incidents
Incidents posted in the last week to http://www.roadragers.com [ Milpitas, California Road Rage ? Dangerous Retaliation or Attempted Retaliation Alleged Details:À
this person tried to run me off the road several times on I 680
Milpitas, California.À I had my wife
and children in the car with me.À This
person almost hit us two times and almost ran us into the center divider once
while I tried to avoid him. [Colorado Springs, Colorado Road Rage ? Swearing/Hand Gestures/Excessive Horn Honking Alleged Details:À
Tailgating, trying to pass on the shoulder, cut off cars, honking
horn, flipping the bird, excessive speed. [Fairborn, Ohio Road Rage ? Swearing/Hand Gestures/Excessive Horn Honking Alleged Details:À
Rager was behind me at an accident scene.À I could see him in my rearview mirror pounding on the dash,
screaming and cussing.À He then took
off speeding after we got thru the scene. Oh, did someone honk at you and give you the finger?À Well, what idiotic act of inconsideration did you do to provoke this person?s anger?À Why don?t you try to get to the root of the problem, instead of giving these a-holes the chance to make the driver they?ve annoyed to look bad, while maintaining their innocence.À Do you try to teach these complainers how to be considerate?À Do you try to teach them better driving habits so they don?t piss others off?À See below for more? Arkansas Pass, Texas Alleged Details:À
Using Cell Phone on residential street where children play, veering
off the road while dialing This is different, but it?s about an idiotic cell phone driver; not about road rage.À Gee, the cell phone driver could have sent their version of the story to you, which would have been something like this:À ?Someone got upset at me for disregarding children and running off the road while I was talking on the phone.À Shame on that person for getting upset at me.? ---------- My thoughts: Worn-Out Horns response to the road rage incidents postings seems rather callous.À He does not see the incidents as road rage incidents, but as something like an ?I do not like what you do? incident.À He decides that getting to the ?root of the problem? and listening to the other person?s story would justify their actions.À I feel that the incidents are all road rage incidents in the way that the driver is endangering lives.À Do not give in, get upset, and catch the road rage fever.À As far as cell phone usage in a car, it can disrupt your driving and take away your attention from the road.
Here?s what I do when I feel road rage coming on.À I highly recommend some of these methods: When someone is following too closely, I simply fart, and chuckle to myself that the person behind will never know of my assgass invading their personal space. If they continue to ride my ass, I pretend I am 6-years old and at Disney World on the roller coaster.À Really, try it, it works. If someone is going slowly in the left lane, I simply speed up and pull into the right lane.À At that point, machismo takes over, and they invariably speed up to keep me from passing.À Mission accomplished, I just wanted them to speed up anyway. I imagine how silly I would look swerving and flashing my high beams, and that makes the jerk in front of/behind me look that much sillier. Similar to ?picturing your audience in their underwear,? I picture aggressive drivers in Yugos. If their window is open, sometimes I yell, ?I wanna party with you, cowboy!? Life?s too short to take it so seriously. ---------- My thoughts: These are many things you can do when you feel road rage coming on.À If Hyperion Systems? remedies works for him it may work for you.À It is always good to have a bag full of emergency road rage relief nearby.À This person definitely seems like an optimistic driver.À When one is optimistic, it means, ?things will turn out all right in life, despite setbacks and frustrations? (Goleman, p. 88).À Being optimistic will enable people to drive carefully and be better attuned to what is happening around them.À Hyperion Systems also seems to drive in a state of good mood, and reaches into his bag of tricks when a stressful event threatens to take over.À What do you do when you feel road rage coming on?
I thought of this thread while
driving on the Beltway today.À It was
about 5:20, I was on the outer loop heading past Route 7 to get to Route 50,
and it was jam packed. ÀI didn?t have
any problem keeping a reasonable distance between me and the car in front of
me.À The idiot behind me did, which
doesn?t bother me when I?m driving my truck (especially if it?s a nice
expensive car behind me) but which I find very disturbing on my
motorcycle.À (I was in the truck
today.) Yikes, I guess I?m just a big fraidy cat but I sure
wouldn?t even go near the Beltway on a motorcycle, well, maybe a big loud
Harley would work. Another thing I?ve found tends to mellow out the freeway (remember that this is coming from a guy who likes to fly by on the left at high warp, but I hate to have to lane-jump and weave) is to try to even the flow.À Basically, you start seeing start-and-stop conditions, and you sort of average out the speed.À Then you let the car in front of you go ahead and do that, and then you go that average speed you calculated.À I figure it?s probably a whole lot more relaxing to go ahead and ride at a slow steady 3 MPH than to average that speed by jumping ten car lengths per ?go? session at 15 MPH than to average that speed by jumping ten car lengths per ?go? session at 15 MPH and then sit for a minute.À At least I personally find it more relaxing and driving is
stressful enough without working yourself into a lather.À I use this evening-out-flow technique not
only to try to make my own life easier (it?s a sort of Zen guessing game as
to how fast you should really ?poke along? to avoid stopping at all) and to
make everyone else?s life easier. Of course, this predictably drives some people just
flat-out nuts.À But they were probably
going to pop a cork anyways, if it?s not you it?ll be something else. [John Whiteside I don?t see why anyone should get all that mad at you.À I do the same thing myself, but have never bothered to put it down as well as you.À It is far better to keep moving, so it feels to me, than to sit stopped. ---------- My thoughts: Another person knows this ?evening-out-flow technique? as a ?traffic wave?.À It does work to a certain extent that it makes you feel as if traffic is moving steadily, and it may alleviate some stress and take your mind off thinking, ?Oh my goodness, I?m late!À I?d better hurry!?À There will be people who don?t understand why there is a large space in front of you, and there will be people who will cut into that open space.À The author of this posting, Tom Beck, and the person who?s posting he responded to, John Whiteside, have both achieved a good awareness about driving in traffic.À Perhaps this is one of their road rage remedies.À If all drivers drove this way, then perhaps the stop-and-go traffic will no longer cause much of a parking lot problem on the road.
People being tailgated sometimes like to tap their brakes (the so-called ?brake job?) to make tailgaters back off. Many years ago, a friend, confided in me what he liked to do when that happened.À He drove a manual and eventually learned to simply depress the clutch that slowed him down enough to not gain on the car if they only tapped the brakes to make the lights come on. The driver in front would eventually realize s/he wasn?t getting the desired panic reaction and they would pull over. However, if they tried to make him wreck, by rapidly slowing down, by depressing the clutch he would tap their rear bumper, not enough to do any damage (gotta love 5 mphÀ bumpers), but enough to make most people shit themselves at 60 mph, and sometimes become hysterical.À With no damage and a he said, she said, there is no case.À If the driver ADMITS to the ?brake job? that, in and of itself is a crime. Just thought I?d pass that along to all the drivers out there who like to give tailgaters ?brake jobs.?À Wear clean undies, you never know when you?ll run into someone like my friend? ---------- My thoughts: The driver?s manual says that if someone is following you too closely tap on the breaks.À That will be a signal for the driver behind you that he/she is following too close, and that they should leave a bit more distance in between.À If an accident should happen, it will be the fault of the car that is following too closely.À What kind of a friend does Mike Zarlenga has?À His friend has no patience, and to punish someone for his or her brake job by tapping his or her rear bumper is outright rude and uncalled for.À For other drivers who panic at someone following too close, try Hyperion Systems? technique:À ?When someone is following too closely, I simply fart, and chuckle to myself that the person behind will never know of my assgass invading their personal space.À If they continue to ride my ass, I pretend I am 6-years old and at Disney World on the roller coaster.À Really, try it, it works.?
?who like to give tailgaters ?brake jobs.? Wear clean
undies? You know, brake jobs wouldn?t be a f****** problem if tailgaters didn?t tailgate.À I don?t do that slam on the brakes thing cause I like my car and I don?t trust the tailgater the whole reason I don?t like them that close.À If I trusted them to be able to stop at a sudden brake then I wouldn?t have a problem with tailgating, would I?À I agree slamming on the brakes is quite stupid to do with a tailgater, do you really trust them to be competent enough to stop? And while I hate left lane hogs, I don?t think that gives anyone the excuse to tailgate.À And it sounds like your friend was just trying to tempt the odds.À While he might find it amusing, it sounds like he himself needs to learn to back off.À Left lane hogs are annoying; tailgaters are dangerous. ---------- My thoughts: Kiki, and countless of other drivers have all encountered situations as these, and some may have experienced worse.À Yes, brake jobs would not be a problem if tailgaters didn?t tailgate.À Tailgaters and left lane hogs may just not care about what other people think.À They only do it because it pleasures them to see someone ?suffer?.À They are not emotionally trained to drive in a safe manner and could be taken off the roads.À They cannot live up to the fact that people do not think like them, and leave their house earlier to get to their destination, instead of rushing over to their death.À I have been tailgated before, and I hate it when the driver of the car I?m in drives too closely to the car ahead.À I know the feeling, and maybe I?ll take Hyperion?s suggestion (see above).À To prevent more tailgaters from popping up on our roads, lets start educating the youngsters and tell them why tailgating and other offenses are bad and inconsiderate.À Lets educate them to become more emotionally intelligent drivers.
In conclusion I have enjoyed doing this report because of all the interesting opinions that other people have about driving. Newsgroups is a great way to discuss and learn about topics that you are curious of. For future generations who have read my entire report -- I hope you enjoyed your reading. Start early on this newsgroups report. I think this report has taken the most time to complete so far because I had to sift through many newsgroups to find the material that I want to talk about, and sometimes it takes a while for people to respond to my postings.
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