Self-Witnessing of my Driving by Anonymous
1987 Dr. James
Day 1: June 9, Tue.
Today is the first day of my intervention. This intervention will basically be trying to maintain the speed limit as I drive throughout the day.
Right now I need to slow down for I'm going a little over 25. Trying to maintain the speed limit initially really does seem slow. In practicing over the weekend I found that I did have quite a difficult time doing it and in many cases I just had to give it up because I could not handle what I perceived to be the pressure from other drivers to hurry up and speed up.
Going down hills I guess even more so that strangeness of going slow can be felt because you have a tendency to zip down these hills. Well I will do my very best, but I also have another day to try as well. So, I have more than one chance to succeed at this, and I sure hope that I do.
Passing Roosevelt High School right now, the seniors are out. Coming to a stop...red light at the intersection of Mott-Smith Dr. and Nehoa St. I really wonder how I am going to do at this. It's something strange, something different. Should be interesting to find out though.
Well here we go about to be making a left turn. Going down Nehoa St., a 25 mph zone. I see a tour bus approaching but I will be turning soon anyhow. Going down Kewalo St. I'm slowing down. Approaching a stop sign. I guess what I do feel right now is that at this particular moment because there are no drivers in front of me or in back of me immediately, I do not feel any pressure to hurry up. But my guess is that if there was somebody following me I would tend to start to panic and feel that I do need to pick up speed. About to make a left turn onto Wilder. Now we're heading towards Punahou on Wilder. Traveling at this time of day I also guess that it is a little bit easier to drive around the speed limit because traffic is not as heavy. We have missed the morning traffic.
I know that, from experience, driving especially the rush hour traffic going home is ridiculous! If you attempt to go slow you will really hear it from the other drivers.
I will still continue to do my best.
Right now the traffic in front of me is going slower because they are approaching a red light, so I guess I can do the same without feeling any pressure or guilt, what have you. Now heading down the stretch. On Wilder, past Punahou, through the intersection. Staying in the middle lane. I notice that my foot has the tendency to press the gas and so therefore my foot also has to compensate with the brakes
Again there is no one in front of me or in back of me so I can really take my time and not feel any pressure of having to hurry. Trying to control this foot pressing the gas seems kind of funny...it just doesn't seem to work, it seems to almost do it on its own…press the gas. Trying to let it off, maybe coast a little would slow me down even more. I'm still a little bit above the speed limit but not nearly as much as I usually am for this particular area. About to make a left up Dole St. past the off ramp from the freeway. There's a bike rider in front of me and I really hate them a lot.
Here we go up Dole St. I remember I also mentioned the tape recorder earlier that, about that tendency to press the gas even when I am approaching a stop. I know I need to slow down and yet I press the gas and then press the brakes instead of just coasting to a stop, which is apparently quite wasteful. I guess it's just a bad habit I've acquired during my time driving .
Well, we're about to go through the intersection of Dole and University, nearing our destination of the parking structure, about to make a right turn down the hill. Approaching a red light, need to slow down.
I guess summarizing this initial attempt at my intervention of driving the speed limit, I found that it has not nearly been as bad as I had anticipated. But as I've already mentioned, the fact that the traffic is quite slow right now probably has a lot to do with it. Plus the fact that I travel on roads that are for the most part not considered major streets. I travel a lot of back roads and stuff like that because I feel that helps me avoid traffic and stuff As for traveling on the main roads, the ones that I have traveled on, the fact that this is not a peak traffic hour really has played a big role in that. Plus also I realize that I have not been, um, following or in front of very many cars…which could have otherwise made a difference in the manner that I drove.
As for the idea of using the tape recorder...I feel that I really have gotten used to it,..it doesn't seem to bother me very much at all. In fact it's in a sense been kind of fun. I don't really feel too much nervousness not nearly as much as the initial attempt, and I feel that this experiment may just pay off.
Well, we're about to enter the parking structure so I will sign off until after class on my way to work. Until then, see you later.
Well here we go leaving the UH campus, leaving the parking structure right now for work. Again, this is day 1 of my intervention portion of my project. The intervention basically being doing my best to maintain the speed limit as I drive throughout the day.
This morning went fairly well. I anticipate having more difficulty as the day progresses because I assume the traffic becomes heavier...and people are more anxious to get to where they're going. I don't know. We'll all see in due time.
Driving out of the parking structure toward the gate I still don't know what the speed limit is around here. I don't know if I'll ever find out, though I did promise myself I would.
Well here we go out. And up the hill. Doing it again... I know the speed bump is coming up and yet I speed up. I don't know why I bother...habit perhaps.
I see green light at the traffic light at the top of the hill...ah, just turned yellow. I guess I'm not going to make it. Slow down.
Here we go again. One thing that did pop into my mind just now was realizing that by driving the speed limit as well as following the rest of the rules of the road, if I were inadvertently to become involved in an accident, um, more than likely I would not be found to be liable because of it.
Well we're proceeding up University Ave. which is a 25 mph zone, let's see if I can get my car to go that speed. We're still going a little faster than that. No one in front of me or behind me but I feel like a snail, I really feel like a snail! People must think of me as, from far away seeing me driving this speed, perhaps they think of me as an old man or something like that. That's what I feel likens Typical stereotyping, of course which is unfair. Going down the hill near Mid Pac. Somewhat heavy traffic. Let's watch myself. Right now I feel a lot more comfortable with driving the speed limit because the traffic is slow, and therefore people are maintaining the speed limit...and I don't feel I'm forced to go faster than I should.
I see some of the cars pulling away in front of me and feel this urge for some reason to keep up with them or catch up with them. Which could be a dangerous thing if you're only concentrating on catching up with someone in front of you, you may not be paying attention to the other things that are going on around you as you drive.
Right now I am going the speed limit, though, however because the rest of the traffic is. So I must slow down now because I'm coming to a curve. Pretty sharp curve...woo! About to make a right turn onto East Manoa Rd.
Still in a 25 mph zone going at 250 Before I know I remembered I used to just zip on by here but I realize they just put in a traffic light and that's something to be weary of. It’s a 20 zone right now because we're in a school area. Uh oh, slow down, Lisa!
25 mph feels like 10. It just seems so slow! Of course I assume if I were to do it on a regular basis, namely drive the speed limit, I'd get used to it and wouldn't feel like that. It would feel normal. About to make a left turn to work. Well, that's it for now...see you later.
Today is day 2 of my intervention portion of my project. The intervention being doing my best to drive at the speed limit. Going down my hill I notice I'm presently going a little under 25, which is good. 'Cause every time I come upon this horseshoe turn I make it a point to go slow because I know how sharp it is. Yesterday went fairly well but I did not do a very good job of maintaining the speed limit. I constantly went over it and had to bring myself back down. But I assumed that would happen because of the manner in which I normally drive, which is about 5 to 10 mile above the speed limit usually. At the present time I'm managing to go at the speed limit. No one in front or behind me and therefore I do not feel much pressure to have to go any faster than this.
Oops, got to slow down. I'm still exceeding the speed limit a little. About to make a left turn onto Nehoa St. Still a 25 mph zone. Heading down Nehoa. It's a very nice day today. Soon will be making a right turn down Kewalo St.
My foot, I feel, has a tendency to press the gas and I have to compensate for that with the brakes often even though I know a stop is coming up. Coming to a stop here.
Driving at the speed limit does feel unusually slow. Just made a left turn onto Wilder and heading towards Punahou and the UH. I notice that the idea of what people are thinking in terms of me talking into a tape recorder doesn't seem to bother me as much right now, In fact, it hardly ever enters my mind...I don't have a tendency to hide it when I see cars coming as I did initially. And in fact I think it's kind of fun to talk into it and have other people wonder about what I'm doing. I notice that in order to maintain the speed limit I have to constantly look at my speedometer because I am not too familiar with what it just feels like to go about the right speed. I constantly second guess myself and therefore have to check the speedometer for that verification.
Heading down Wilder. No one behind me or in front of me. Just take my time comfortably. I guess on a road like this I feel a little bit more comfortable about driving slower because I know that there are two lanes and if anyone behind me feels that I am going too slowly they have the opportunity to change lanes and overtake me. But, for example, as I was talking to Dr. Jakobovits about, on a road for example as Manoa Rd. where there are only one lane going in each direction. I had attempted just to practice going the speed limit and found that it was very difficult for me because whenever a car would come up behind me I felt I had to speed up because overtaking is that much more difficult where there's one lane in which you're dealing with.
Gee, I cannot get over how slow this 25 mph feels! It's so strange! My foot still has a tendency to press the gas more and I have to just really compensate for that by thinking hard to take my foot off.
Heading up Dole St. right now. Still in a 25 mph zone. It's kind of strange how you learn the habit of driving beyond the speed limit. When I first learned to drive I was so concerned about following all the rules and making no mistakes... just being really really Careful I guess in a way by doing this particular project it's made me aware of how careless I have become in the sense that I've let myself go so to speak. I'm a little bit more lax in terms of the rules and things like that, and because I'm so used to doing these things I just don't give them much thought in doing them. When I stop to think about it I realize how foolish it all is. And dangerous... that the consequences of my actions could be pretty bad if I don't watch out. And I guess more than anything else, up to this point I've been very lucky.
Well we're heading down towards the parking structure and nearing the parking booth.
Today is June 12 I believe. It is a Friday and it is also day 3 of my intervention portion of my project. I have skipped doing this for a while because I've had other things to do but I plan on finishing up today.
Right now I'm proceeding down my hill. Maintaining a 25 mph speed, which is the limit in this area. I still can't get over how slow going 25 mph feels. I really feel as though going this slow is somehow doing something wrong. Then again I can see the necessary need for it, for in case something unforeseen were to occur you have that much more time to stop. I guess it is safer. Still maintaining to go the speed...the limit for the fir
time in lord knows how long that I've been driving. I think even when I first learned how to drive, though I was a lot more aware of and I followed more the speed limit, I realized then how slow 25 mph seemed to feel. But now it seems just so utterly strange.
By this time I've gotten used to talking into this tape recorder and it does not seem to bother me in any sort of way. People around me, of course I still feel a little bit funny but not so much that I would have to hide it or anything, I can just go on doing what I'm doing.
Right now I'm making a left turn onto Nehoa St. proceeding to go to school. Still a 25 mph zone. Making a right down Kewalo St. To be honest up until this point I have been attempting to do this project while driving in areas I know have relatively little traffic and that the speeds are approximately 25 or so. However, later on today I will attempt to drive in an area a little bit faster...on the Mali Hwy. that is, to see how that would be.
No one on front of me or in back of me right now. I feel as though I could go 5 mph and it wouldn't make a difference. I shouldn't do that because it would probably drive me crazy.
Waiting to make a left turn now onto Wilder Ave. towards Punahou and the UH. I guess I notice that when I ride with other people, I realize how fast they're going and get a little worried. Yet, when I do it myself I don't seem to be as aware of it. I wonder why is that? I guess I should learn
to be less of a hypocrite that’s probably the most appropriate word.
As we're continuing to go down Wilder Ave. Right now going about 25 and doing fine. I wonder if I could ever learn to do this on a regular basis? Again my foot still seems to have the tendency to be pressing on the gas even in areas where I could just as easily coast. It's like a bad habit I have. I guess when it comes to driving a lot often times I make up little excuses in my head to justify why I do such things as speed. For example, I sometimes tell myself I won't get caught or it's only 5 miles over...there's nothing wrong with that. Or, there's no one else around me so what difference does it make? Then when I stop and think I realize that ultimately what I'm doing is wrong. There's nothing else to be said about thatch It's wrong. I guess I have to learn somehow to figure this out for myself to decide what I will do for me. About to make a left turn onto Dole.
This tape will run out soon so I will just continue talking until it does. Up this hill...going about 25. Gee, I wonder what it would be like if everyone around here obeyed the speed limit? That would be kind of interesting I think. Shoots...it's going to rain soon.
About to make a right turn down towards the structure. It’s raining. I don't have my umbrella. This is really wonderful. Well I guess for now I'll be signing off 'till later.
Well here we are leaving the UH campus. Right now I'm headed to Garrett's house for lunch with some of his friends. This will be the first time during either my intervention or my baseline observations that I will be going somewhere other than my daily routine of to and from work and school. It should be interesting.
Right now we're at the top of the hill waiting to make a left turn onto Dole St. and anticipating what it's going to be like right now. Somewhat heavier traffic because class has just gotten out. There are a lot more cars in front of me and in back of me. I have a feeling it will be kind of tough to stay within the 35 mph limit on the Mali Hwy. because I know I've tried it in the past while going to Garrett's house and found it extremely difficult because all the other cars were going anywhere from 45 mph and up. And it's ridiculous! You really really really feel like a snail. But instead of assuming that's what it's going to be like we'll just wait 'till I get there to see what happens.
Well I'm at a stop right now. Right now we're headed down Dole St. in a 25 mph zone. Oh, I must slow downer It's so easy to forget that that's what I'm supposed to be doing. My reflex is to just keep pressing the gases Well I will slow down as we go down the hill. Actually going down here is a pretty scary thing to do because the road is pretty narrow, being lined with cars and all. That car shouldn't be there. Approaching a red light so I can coast to a stop.
Sometimes going 25 seems so slow that I wonder if there’s something wrong with my speedometer. Well there I go again making up excuses for my actions instead of trying to make them right, to change them in a positive way.
Right now I'm going 30 in a 25 but I still feel...I can now imagine that there's like some kind of pressure from the people behind me to speed up, for there is more than one car behind me and they are all lined up relatively close to each other. I brought myself to go to 35 now...succumbing to the pressure and going into the right lane, whereas I have to make a right turn anyhow so eventually I would have done this anyway. Now giving them the chance to speed up more. Coming to a stop.
Now heading up Punahou St. I wonder if that kind of pressure of getting used to people following you so closely when you are going the speed limit is something you can ever get used to? I know that when it's me in that position I get very uptight for no apparent reason other than the fact that I'm going slower than I wish. I tend to get real angry and start to say negative things and so on so forth. Not exactly the best thing to do. Well I failed in that attempt. I should have been able to handle that situation right now...maintaining the speed I had desired to go. Yet I could not. Basically I guess the easiest thing to say is that I gave up. I could not handle it. As this continues we will try again.
Still in a 25 zone. Seems so strange...really does. I feel so much better when the cars in front of me are going slow because in my mind I have a reason for my going slow as well as causing the car in back of me to go slow. why can I not simply take a stand myself that the speed limit is what I desire to do and therefore I will do it! If this is what I want. Instead I attribute my actions to those around me which is really such a cop out! It's always so easy to do that. To blame other people for the things that are bad around and yet credit yourself for the things that are good. Is that human nature? A faulty habit learned? Well... I don't know.
Passing by Roosevelt High School right now. Still in a 25 zone, going a little faster than that. Need to slow down.
Going up Auwaiolimu St. Now this is a 30 mph zone. The car in back of me has been behind me for a while. By now he must realize that I am talking into a tape recorder. I wonder if he put together in his mind that what I'm doing has something to do with talking into the tape recorder. The two vehicles in front of me are going approximately the speed limit so I feel a little bit better about doing so myself. Again, attributing my actions to others. It's like I don't have to explain myself or don't feel the need to explain myself to the person behind me. It's a comfortable speed I must admit. I know that when I travel up here usually by myself I will tend to go the speed limit or just a little bit above it. But when people are following me or especially when they seem to follow really closely I feel the need to just keep speeding up and end up going anywhere from 35 to 40 which is dangerous down here because there are some crosswalks where people just might be coming out of and I don't have time to stop. And the road is only single lane each way getting a little narrow at times.
It’s just become a 25, I guess because we are approaching a crosswalk. We are all going about 35. I say we because the distance between the cars in front of me and in back of me are going...is remaining constant.
I kind of wonder what the blue truck in front of me is thinking because the white El Camino in front of him is going apparently slowly. If I were him and I were not in a situation to do this project I would be rather upset.
I think that initially when I started to learn how to drive I was a pretty cautious driver, wanting to follow the rules as I had learned them. But after riding, especially with my friends who had been driving for a lot longer than I...I think I kind of picked up their habits in the sense that I wanted to be like them. Speeding seemed like the cool thing to do. To say that the speed limit is ridiculous, unnecessary, unfair, what have you. To speed up whenever you can. cut people's lines so to speak. And I realize in my own mind these are dangerous things to do. Yet, while I don't do it to the extent that they did, I am guilty as well.
Well, the car that's been following me is no longer behind me, and that's okay. I need to get on to the Pali. I do not want to follow the car in front of me too closely because I feel there should be somewhat of a distance to get onto the highway I will put this down for a little while.
We are now in the Pali Hwy. and it is a 35 mph zone. I guess the fact that it's now raining also seems to justify in my own mind the reason for going about the speed limit or so because when it rains the roads get that much slipperier...and that much more dangerous to drive at a high speed. However, I am not maintaining 35...I'm going approximately 40 and will somehow try to slow down.
If I were in any of the cars behind me and I saw this person talking into a tape recorder I might attribute the fact that he or she is going at a slower rate of speed because of the fact that he is not paying full attention to what he's doing interms of driving. Instead, he's focusing his attention on the recorder.
Well this is a multi-laned highway. If they feel that I'm going too slowly they can just change lanes and go around me. I have moved into the right-most lane...supposedly the lane for slower drivers They can go ahead and pass me...fine and dandy.
About to turn down this street...Laimi. Well, We'll soon be at barrettes house so thatch all for now!