Soc. Psychology 222 (2)
Community-Classroom
Spring 1980
Intimidation @ B
ID #23
Part II After gathering some of my most intimidating situations, I got together with my huddle buddy and we both discovered that we both share several similar intimidating situations, such as eating alone in the school cafeteria or snack bar. Riding elevators is another one of our favorites. We decided that in order for us to overcome these intimidation, we should be able to come up with a fairly easy solution. We made plans to have lunch together which should make us overcome the intimidation of eating alone in the cafeteria.
In regards to my other situations where I felt intimidated, we concluded that to overcome the embarrassment of walking into class late, I should always be on time and if I ever do arrive late, to think that someone will probably walk in later than I and that I have nothing to be embarrassed about.
In a situation where pure clumsiness and lack of coordination makes a fool out of me, we thought some control of face work might help the situation. Also, if I act nonchalant about falling or tripping as if it didn't even happen and no one else saw, it would help me overcome the embarrassment.
Part III : Enacting the Collective Plan
My huddle buddy and I made plans to eat together at Manoa Garden on Wednesday, March 5,1980 at 12:30 PM. I arrived a little early and so I sat down under one of the umbrella tables and did some homework. No intimidation feelings had been felt yet. My huddle buddy arrived and we both went in to get our lunch. We both decided to have salads and waited in line to pay for it. I've never eaten there before and wasn't sure if I had enough money to pay for my salad and felt a little intimidated then. Once I found out I did have enough, everything was all right. I felt very comfortable and at ease eating with someone else and no other feelings of intimidation occurred.
Part IV
After contemplating and reviewing the processes of this project and the results I arrived at, I feel that I did overcome the intimidation I experienced when I ate alone. However, I'm not sure if the reaction will reoccur the next time I eat alone in the cafeteria. I feel that in a situation like this, where there is fear of being stared at (also when riding an elevator), there is no definite way of overcoming the intimidation unless you avoid the situation completely as I did by eating with my huddle buddy, or by just blanking your mind to the people around you and just concentrating on your main purpose, which is to either eat or get to your destination.
I don't really feel there was a desperate need of a huddle buddy in this project because most of the conclusions we came up with were common sense solutions. Intimidation is usually something an individual must try to overcome by themselves because of the situations they find themselves in. It did help to talk together in the actual enactment, but any other person could have served the same role.
Now that I think about it, there is no real solution to overcoming intimidation. Intimidation is an emotion that can't just be erased. It can be avoided like we did, but it still exists.
Soc. Psychology 222 (2)
Community-Classroom
Spring 1980
Intimidation @ A
#23
Through my peer annotations, I feel I have gained a broader insight as to the reasons behind my feelings of intimidation and also the SP forces that affect my life.
One peer pointed out that in his/her opinion, Interior Dialog appears to be a significant factor in almost everything I do. I believe that this is definitely true because I am always reviewing every angle possible whenever I find myself in any type of a situation. I am always telling myself whether I feel uncomfortable or at ease in a certain atmosphere ! and I do attempt to have a "Systematic Desensitization of Anxiety and Phobias" (2.3.c.2.). If I ever have a problem, I always feel relaxed after I have either talked it over with someone else (who would play the part of my Huddle Buddy) or contemplate the problem with myself through my Interior Dialog.
Another peer, who is also a close friend of mine, mentioned that perhaps my feelings of intimidation were due to criticism to me by others. I can not agree with her, however, because I usually don't take other people's criticisms seriously unless I know the person means what they say ( a professor criticizing a paper, for example.) I prefer to see the roots of my intimidations stemming from my "Stereotypes and Habits of Social Perception n (2.1.a.3.), which a different peer had noticed.
Lastly, one peer disagreed with my statement that anyone could have served the role of my Huddle Buddy. He/she claimed that if I weren't assigned to have a Huddle Buddy, would I have discussed the problem with someone else? I can honestly say that no, I probably wouldn't have talked to someone else about feeling intimidated eating alone or falling down. However, if I did have a problem which I felt were very significant in my life, I would have.
March 6, 1980
Intimidation project
On Wednesday, 5 at 3:OO p.m., my friend and I went to Klum Gym to lift weights As we neared the gym, we could hear a lot of voices in the weight room. Then as we stepped into the room all the huge football players stared at us. This made my friend and I feel small, intimidated. After discussing with my friend "huddle buddy", Derek Chow, we came up with an idea of how to overcome this intimidation. A very good way is to get to know those football players as friends. Also, we should try to meet a new friend every time we go there. This way, when we walk in, greetings can be exchanged automatically and no intimidation would take place. This situation would fit into box 3.3a in the Glossary Charts, Anti-Anonymity = Overcoming Routine Intimidation, because it is the overcoming of intimidation that would lead to an anti-anonymous situation. Another box relating to this would be l.l.a.2, Situated Behavior = Behavior in Social Settings, because my behavior in this certain social setting was my own situated behavior. One more box relating is 5.3.a.4, Integrating the Congration of Selves, because this is what the overcoming-plan involves, the combining of different people in a group 80 that everyone would know each other.
Since my 'huddle buddy,' Derek Chow, was the one experiencing the intimidation with me the solution to the problem was reached with no problem. We both felt the forces during the situation in the gym and could accurately relate to each other when discussing the problem. I think that making friends and meeting people can eliminate a lot of intimidation in anyone's daily round.
March 13, 1980
#3
Intimidation Project A
On Wednesday, 5 at 3:OO p.m., my friend and I went to Klum Gym to lift weights. As we neared the gym, we could hear the weights clanking and slamming. There was also a lot of chatter in the room. Then, as we stepped into the room, all the football players stared at us. There was a moment of silence. This made us feel intimidated: small and wanting to back out.
After discussing the problem with my friend and "huddle buddy", Derek Chow, we came up with an idea of how to overcome this intimidation. A very good way is to get to know the football players as friends, or at least, good acquaintances. Also, we should try to meet a new friend, or acquaintances everytime we go there. This way, when we walk in, greetings can be exchanged automatically and no intimidation would take place. This would result in the elimination of the territorial forces of the football players. This is important because we don't know if the reason that they stared was t to see if their friends had stepped ins or because someone foreign was approaching their territory. Therefore, the obviation of negative forces between people would lead to the removal of much, if not all, intimidation.
