MY STRUGGLES WITH EATING:
A SELF-WITNESSING TECHNIQUE REPORT
JAN M. SHISHIDO
UNIVERSITY OF HAWAII, MANOA
INSTRUCTOR: DR. LEON JAMES
PSYCHOLOGY 499, DIRECTED RESEARCH
SPRING, 1987
TABLE OF CONTENTS
This report incorporates the Self-Witnessing Technique of Data Collection
to observe a single subject as she deals with various situations
pertaining to eating behaviors. The project was conducted over a period
of one semester at the University of Hawaii at Manoa under the
supervision of Dr. Leon James of the Psychology Department.
The
subject used a hand-held tape recorder as the experimental apparatus and
transcripts made from the recorder's tapes were used as data for this
project.
The subject discovered through self-observation that compliance behavior only
occurred when the information being used was somehow of personal
significance. Also, it was only these types of significant reference
materials that had any long-lasting impact on the subject.
My life had really changed when I began attending the
University of Hawaii at Manoa in the Fall of 1983. In High School my diet
was pretty regulated by my parents, but college was a different story.
Meals were no longer pre-planned; my lunch consisted of anything from
potato chips and a coke to a huge plate lunch--packed with starches!
Freedom . My newfound freedom, not only in
regard to food but in all aspects of my life, greatly affected the way in
which I made decisions. Little thought was put into what I put into my
mouth. I practically lived on fast foods--soda pop, anything from a
machine and of course, hamburgers and french fries. Don't think I did not
suffer a bit for my lifestyle. In High School I was always able to keep
my weight under control, but in college, it seemed as though pounds would
just appear out of nowhere. Something had to be done!
Currently . So here I find myself, my senior
year at the University of Hawaii and still hanging on to some very bad
habits. But this dark cloud hanging over me has a silver lining, an
independent study course in the Psychology Department. Under the
supervision of Professor Leon James, I decided to undertake a project
in self-directed behavior. I would agree to adopt a new eating pattern,
one which paid more attention to planning and decision making than
convenience.
My Fellow Students .
Many of my fellow students would hardly deem it necessary to change my
eating habits at this stage of my life. Why buck the system? Everyone
knows that a college student's diet is one of the worst around--it's
expected, it's part of being in college. There's always tomorrow (the
future) in which to change. But for me there was a realization that I was
setting a very bad precedent for the way I would live my life. I knew
good health habits had to be begun early if I was ever to experience any
real benefits, or to prevent any major illnesses. Now that I was growing
older and had more control over my own life, I was determined to begin a
health regime that would prove to be beneficial not only in the
here-an-now, but also in the years to come.
The Decision . After
adamantly deciding to undertake a flexible, semi-vegetarian (Lacto-Ovo--I
could eat milk and eggs) diet I had to begin outlining how long my
intervention plan would last as well as the procedures I would need to
follow in order to gather substantive data.
Baseline . It was decided that I would attempt a
semi-vegetarian diet following a two-week baseline period. The baseline
measures would serve as comparison data at the end of my project.
Data Gathering Procedure . The data gathering
procedure which was finally chosen was the self-witnessing technique which
Professor Leon James strongly recommended to me. Dr. James had
done work with this technique before and he thought that it would lend
itself well to type of research procedure which was finally chosen was the
self-witnessing technique which Professor Leon James strongly
recommended to me. Dr. James had done work with this technique
before and he thought that it would lend itself well to the type of
research I was looking to do. He would serve as an advisor during the
course of my project and would help me to better understand the
requirements of a data collection technique such as this one.
Requirements of Technique . The
Self-Witnessing Technique required that I collect spontaneous samples of
my behavior, specifically of eating behaviors and the emotions that it
elicits in me. This technique does not involve the antiquated notion of
introspection--although at its introduction to me I thought it had much in
common. Upon discussing this notion with Dr. James he explained why
I was in error. The technique of introspection assumed that information
could be acquired if a person simply looked within himself and
contemplated about an idea on which there was some question on (Stone,
Cohen, Adler and Associates, 1979). The self-witnessing technique on the
other hand takes more of a behavioristic approach. The technique requires
the subject to make note of all behaviors and thoughts and these are later
analyzed to see how a person's beliefs affects what they do and say. The
introspection technique has no real tangible data while the
self-witnessing method does.
Sampling and Recording . All sampling and recording in a
Self-Witnessing Study is done by the individual. Since this data
collection method is based on the types of actions performed as well as
the thoughts and emotions behind these actions, the individual would be
the only one who would be qualified enough to make these type of
conclusions about his own behavior. The individual is the only one who
knows what is going on in the mind, no matter how closely another studies
the behavior, it si only the individual who is experiencing the behavior
that will know for sure why it is being performed.
Three Areas of the Self . There are three
areas of the self that I made not of because these three I felt would be
the key to the whole study. Basically the three levels of the self that I
was interested in have been around a long time. Recently however, Dr.
Leon James (1987) has summarized these three levels into the
"three-fold self." There is the Affective (feelings and motives),
Cognitive (interpretations and decisions), and Psychomotor (sensations,
perceptions, verbalizations). I was to look at my behavior samples (in
transcript form) and try and categorize the verbalizations that I had
recorded throughout the study, into one of the three areas of interest.
Method of Data Collections . This
method of data collection seemed to show much promise in terms of what I
needed. What I liked most about it was that it was focused on me, not a
whole population of others. I wanted, needed, data that would give me a
clue to my own behavior, maybe later I could generalize this to a large
population of other people, but for now I was only interested in what made
me "tick."
Interesting Technique
. The data collected in this self-witnessing fashion would prove very
intriguing because it requires the same person to experience, record and
analyze one's behavior. Perhaps some information gathered in this study
could be generalized, but the technique I was using would certainly prove
to be beneficial to anyone thinking of undertaking a self-modification
project.
The Library . I was not l
looking forward to having to do library research for this report.
Although I knew how to use the library's InfoTrak and OnLine Computer
system, I always had a difficult time picking out potentially helpful
material. I usually ended up looking up and down along the shelves of
books in hopes of being suddenly pointed towards the "best" references.
This was usually frustrating because the rows of books seemed endless, and
I typically ended these "hunts" by picking out a book with the most
intriguing title or cover--not a very good way of looking for material.
And it would only frustrate me more when I lugged the books home and found
out that they just were not the types of references I required.
A Different Approach . This time I went
in with the idea that I would ask the reference librarian the best method
for gathering information--the librarians are always telling the students
that many of us do not make enough use of their knowledge. So I spoke to
the librarian Nancy Morris, who in no uncertain terms told me that
approximately 75 percent of all the books in Hamilton Library are in the
card catalog exclusively. Also, she looked aghast when I described to her
my hunt and grab method of searching the library shelves. I know she was
trying to be helpful, but I couldn't help but have a bitter taste in my
mouth after her condescending looks.
The
Search . It never fails, when I'm working in the library I lose all
sense of time. I spent countless hours in various libraries pouring
over any material that I deemed appropriate to my project. I was
especially interested in studying compliance behaviors in myself. I
purposely found books and articles which I could relate directly to. I
hoped that this would increase my desire to comply with the new
information I was reading about. One of the books that I found and that
had a large impact on how I was to approach this research work was
Health Psychology: A Handbook by George C. Stone, Francis Cohen,
Nancy E. Adler and Associates. This book gave me some good insights as to
what type of research had already been done and gave me some idea about
how to approach this huge topic. Actually, as I scanned the rows and rows
of shelves in the library I began to simply pull out any book that somehow
caught my eye, a "neat" color, an "interesting" title or even a "strange"
size. I narrowed down my search by first checking the index of the book
for any topic that may be of interest to me, then I read the introduction
to give me some sense as to how this particular author gets his thoughts
across. It is sometimes very hard to find a source book which combines
good, insightful information in a format which is easily understood.
The Difference Between reading and
Complying . I found it very easy to read about various studies.
What was hard was adopting this new information into my old eating habits.
On one level I could understand why a dietary change was required at this
point in my life, however on a totally different level I just didn't want
to sacrifice this way of life that I had come to know and love. I guess I
always knew the old habits were hard to change, but I always thought that
I could use rationale to make it easier. But I was wrong, I could
logically argue all the reasons why I should adopt some of these healthy
habits into my life, however I just couldn't do it. Don't think I didn't
try, because I really believe I gave it a good shot. It was just that it
was so easy for me to convince myself that the information I had just
acquired did not really pertain to me, or that it wasn't necessary to
worry about that sort of thing, it was so easy to convince myself that I
was still young and that I could worry about my health later.
The Escape Clause . When I speak about my
ability to rationalize my behavior, I am quite serious. For instance,
although I poured over all sorts of material sex tolling the virtues of a
diet lower in animal fats, I still tended to leave a little "escape
clause" in my intervention plans. For example, if I learned that I had
been invited to a party, instead of refraining from eating any meats, I
would promise myself that I would just eat a little to please my host, I
didn't want anyone to think I was not appreciative of the efforts they had
put into the party's preparations. However, it really wasn't necessary
for me to partake in foods which went against my diet plan, I could have
simply eaten the abundance of food which had vegetables as its foundation.
This was simply another excuse to go off my diet. I wasn't even craving
meats most of the time. It was simply a way of exerting my freedom of
choice. When I felt happy about my decision to try a vegetarian
lifestyle, I had no problem refraining from eating meats, in fact, I
usually explained to my hosts so that they wouldn't feel slighted by my
not eating. It was only when I felt that this decision had been "forced"
on me that I felt the need to "cheat." I noticed this tendency to "rebel"
faded as I got more and more into the project. It was as if the project
began to become "my little baby" as time went on, and I felt
responsible for seeing it through.
Copping
Out . Just for the information of others who may want to use this
study as a guideline for future projects, just a sample of the types of
excuses I used throughout this project. There was, "I'll have to eat
meats at home or else my mother will have to prepare a whole separate meal
for me, and I wouldn't want to put her to any trouble." There was also,
"Eating cold cuts once in a while couldn't be that bad, and since I
haven't eaten meats in so long I deserved to eat this piece of bologna."
The truth was, I was just too good at justifying my intentions and
actions. I realized that I would just have to want to improve my
diet, because no matter what everyone else says or what everyone thinks I
should do, if I don't believe in it, there's always a way to rationalize
away the pangs of guilt.
The Technique for a Beginner . Since the
Self-Witnessing Technique was not really taught to me in my previous
Psychology courses, I wanted to get some more information about it.
Professor James suggested two of his papers as a means to introduce
this new technique to me. The first article was entitled "Data in the
Private World of the Driver" (March, 1987) and the other, co-authored by
Diane Nahl-James (1986) was "Learning the Library: Taxonomy of
Skills and Errors." After reading through these two papers, I began to
form a clearer picture of just what self-witnessing really was, at least
knew more than before, what types of characteristics identified and
distinguished the three levels of behavior. I read how this method was
successfully used in these two areas of interest, and it showed me ways
that I could make this method work for me and my research project on diet.
Its Importance . I began to
see the importance of recording spontaneous feelings and actions.
Specific behaviors and the thoughts and feelings behind them when analyzed
later, help to pinpoint what factors lead to certain behaviors. With this
knowledge, a behavior modification plan is easier to devise and implement.
However before any real data can be collected, I had to get acquainted
with the self-witnessing technique's data collection procedures.
Requirements of the
Self-Witnessing Technique . The Self-Witnessing Technique of data
collection requires that subject/investigator to keep any ongoing record
of samples of behavior, of thoughts and of feelings. Professor James
suggested I use a hand-held tape recorder to make note of various events,
thoughts and feelings that I experienced throughout the course of a day.
I had my doubts at this point if I would really be able to go through with
this project. The approach was just so unlike anything I had ever
experienced in my educational career. Also, I felt very self-conscious
about what other people would think when they saw me talking to a tape
recorder. I didn't want to deal with people asking me what I was doing,
and I also didn't want people to just stare at me and not ask what I was
doing, it was a no win situation. I knew I would either have to change my
worrying about what everyone was thinking or I would have to find another
way of collecting spontaneous verbalizations.
The First Week . The first week of taping was the
most difficult. Not only did I have to mentally tell myself to remember
to record things, but I was also very self-conscious. I didn't want
people to be giving me strange looks behind my back. Also, since I was
directed to make recordings spontaneously and in all types of settings, I
was even more wary about doing this project in this fashion. I was sure I
wasn't going to make it through the semester.
Recording Sessions . So here I find myself,
tape recorder in hand, trying hard to do these taping sessions as
nonchalantly as is humanly possible. As I said before, I needed a
sampling of any behavior that pertained to eating. Therefore I usually
found myself talking into my tape recorder when I was hungry or at meal
times. However, there was no set time at which I was to begin making
recordings or for that matter, no minimum amount of recording that had to
be made in the course of a day. Thus my daily transcripts are of various
lengths and of differing content.
A
Confession . However I must make a confession. These transcripts
are a bit biased in the picture that it paints of me and my lifestyle. On
the whole it is accurate, but there were times that I found myself being
selective of what I taped and/or censoring various bits of
information--especially the incriminating kind. This bit of insight came
as quite a shock to me. I knew that it was quite commonplace for subjects
to give misleading information to interviewers and that is why
questionnaires are not the best way of obtaining information. However, it
came as quite a shock to me to find myself "covering up" for myself. I
thought I would be able to be completely honest with myself, but I guess I
was wrong. There were certain things that even I don't want to have to
admit to myself. Things such as the amount that I eat, the time spent
craving for/dreaming of/contemplating on food, or the desire to allow
others to cajole me into eating "taboo" foods. I was embarrassed. Here I
was trying to do some research and the subject, me, wasn't even being
completely honest. It was going to be hard, but I would have to convince
myself that it was for my own good to "owe up" to all the "naughty" things
I had been doing while on my diet. But don't let me put you off, as time
went by, I found it easier and easier to make these spontaneous
recordings. Soon, it even became like second nature to have the tape
recorder in my bag or in my hand at all times. I even brought the tape
recorder to the library and the store so that I would be able to keep a
record of everything that went on during my visit to these places. In
fact, it even became fun and I didn't mind the strange stares and the
giggles of my roommates.
Transcribing . After a week taping had passed, I began the slow
task of transcribing the tapes into a computer. I did not have access to
a transcription machine so what I basically had to do was to sit in front
of the computer, play back a portion of the tape and type it into the
computer. I usually had to stop the tape, rewind it again and begin
inputting again. This was the hardest part of this method. It was such a
long and slow process. Even making recordings in front of people wasn't
this bad, or this difficult. Of course, it wasn't that difficult, it was
just that like everything else, it was new to me and I was having a hard
time getting used to this data collection method that was so different
from any technique I had learned about in my Methodology class.
Other People's Reactions . As I made my
recordings throughout this project, I noticed that people were very
interested in what I was doing and why. After I explained to them the
general details of the Self-Witnessing Technique, I noticed some real
interest by these individuals in this procedure. These incidents made me
realize that I was indeed "Society's Witness," and I felt even more
energized about my research project. Their questions were helpful to me
also when laying out the plans for this project since I could address
their areas of interest in my report. Most people were curious about what
data was collected for this type of technique and how the data would be
put to use later by a larger population. It was hard for them to see, as
it had been for me earlier, that a project centered only upon one
individual could somehow be generalized to the population at large and be
of some service therein.
Recording and
Transcribing . Recording and Transcribing was done through the
duration of this study. As the weeks flew by, I became more and more at
ease with the technique. My tape recorder became my friend, my confidant.
And as the study progressed I noticed that my recordings became more and
more useful to me. At first, the data was rather vague and disjointed,
but later transcripts are easier to study and a lot more useful because I
had become more adept at recording verbalizations which could be useful to
this study. Instead of simply noting what I was eating and where, I began
to dictate how I felt, what the food felt like, how fast I was eating, my
thoughts as I ate, etc. These recordings also allowed me to become more
focused as to what I wanted to learn about myself. And what is this one
might ask. Well, to put it simply, I wanted to find out the factors that
made me eat nonstop at one time and not want to eat at another. If I
could tap into the thoughts and feelings which were affecting these
behaviors I hoped to be able to have better control of my diet and of my
health as a whole.
Categorizing
. One more aspect of the Self-Witnessing Technique that should be
mentioned here is that it is possible to categorize the subject's
verbalizations into the three areas of interest that I have discussed
earlier, the affective, cognitive and psychomotor areas. Categorizing
behavior is not difficult. All one does is to reread the transcripts and
divide up the sentences into its separate components using "A" for any
type of affective behavior, "C" for cognitive behaviors and any type of
"Psychomotor behavior is marked with a "P." Later sections will deal with
this area in more detail.
The Change
. The change in focus occurred very subtly. At the start of this
project I was going to study my behavior and feelings concerning a change
in my eating habits; I was studying the effects of being a vegetarian.
However, as time went on I experienced a major revelation as I did
research in the library. I was looking through books, not really knowing
what exactly I expected to find, and all of a sudden it hit me. It wasn't
how I felt being a vegetarian that was of interest here. It was the issue
of why I complied or did not comply to the information that I had been
gathering for the last couple of weeks.
Vegetarian Books . All the books I had been
gathering concerning vegetarianism and its benefits really had not struck
a chord with me, but when I came across an article entitled, "Does
Vegetarian Diet Reduce the Occurrence of Diabetes" by Snowdon and
Phillips, (American Journal of Public Health, May, 1985), something
connected. I have a history of Diabetes on both sides of the family and
the thought that I could "save" myself as well as my parents and
relatives from this disease hit very deeply. I now had a strong desire to
become a vegetarian and a true desire to "spread the word" to everyone I
saw. This was a major point in my project. I now wanted to comply
even if I didn't have to.
Concentrating My Efforts . At this point I began concentrating my
research efforts on compliance behaviors and the area of Primary Health
Care. A book by Jean A. S. Ritchie (1969) was very useful to me at this
time because it focused on what made people begin to take more control
over their diets. Ritchie discussed why people only take care of
themselves when they actually got sick, and emphasized the need for a more
"preventive" means of dealing with our health--something I realized I
needed to do with my eating habits.
Ongoing Recordings
. For the duration of this semester long project I kept a record of
all my recording sessions on audio cassettes. These tapes were
transcribed via a computer and it was these transcripts which served as
the basis of collecting random samples of my self-observations.
With Time, Plans Change . At the start o this
project, when time did not yet seem of the essence, I had planned to use
each line of dictation in my report. I had planned to categorize every
word again using the three areas of interest that I have spoken of many
times before, the affective, cognitive, and psychomotor areas, and see how
it pertained to my thoughts and actions at certain times during the span
of this project. However, time restrictions and my own better judgment
about what would be useful in a self-witnessing technique report led me to
conclude that it would be better to use only random samples of my
verbalizations. This random sample would better reflect the ongoing
changes that were occurring with me as I observed myself throughout this
project. It would also remove some of the biases that would typically
occur as I took my observations. To clarify this point, I was at times
simply more receptive to this project than at other times. Some of my
verbalizations are done in great detail, while at other times, I have just
a few words to describe what I had been doing over a number of hours.
Samples . So I would like to include
a few sample lines from my transcripts to exemplify the type of data I had
been collecting throughout this project. I simply took a random sampling
from a week's verbalization to use as the basis for categorizing feelings,
thoughts and behaviors which I experienced by carrying out this project.
Click here to see Table 1
Some Conclusions . Upon reviewing the various
types of verbalizations I came to some pretty interesting conclusions
about myself and what motivates me and what doesn't. The changes
occurring within the span of these past few weeks have been quite
astounding. These changes didn't just occur overnight, but a little at a
time. In fact, the changes were at times so gradual that unless I had
studied the transcripts I probably wouldn't have spotted them at all.
One Major Area of Change . One of
the major areas in which I spotted a change was in my attitude towards
compliance behaviors during the information gathering processes. There
are areas in which I feel I am falling short in. The first, many times I
would pick some reference books out and simply read the information
contained therein and simply not ingest any of it. My second failing is
that at times I do just the opposite. I read information and take it at
its face value. I believe everything in the article although I have no
supplementary resources to back up its claims. Both of these approaches
does not make for a good way to formulate a viable intervention plan.
Best Way for Me . What I found to be the
best way for me to go about making positive changes in my behavior as far
as what I can gather from my transcripts, is that I must find a hint of
information that is very personal to me. In other words, if I read or
hear of some new information, and if it hits me personally, then I am far
more eager to research into it further. This further research allows me
to get some supportive information which either makes compliance more
likely or makes compliance unnecessary if I should find that the source I
have originally been looking at was not of any real value to me.
My Diet, a Vegetarian Diet . Thus with my
own vegetarian diet, I really did not feel to strictly comply with it
because I was doing this "just for my class." However, with the help of
my self-observations and some very good research materials, I realized
that I couldn't "fake" this project. I really had to believe in what I
was trying to research in order for any type of really pertinent data to
be generated. This was the greatest of lessons that I learned during the
course of my college career. I have come across course work which allowed
me to do just a superficial amount of work. But a class such as this one
is different. Since this project is about me, and me alone, I was
compelled to put a great deal of effort into this project, more than I
would in most of my other classes. And as soon as I took this project as
seriously as I should, I began to get a lot out of it. I wanted to
do the project and no longer felt I had to do it. I feel that his
project, like anything else that requires one's compliance, a reason to
comply must be made. As soon as I understood how much of a benefit a
vegetarian diet really was, over and above everything I've heard from
contented practicing vegetarians, I took my new diet plan to heart.
Throughout everything I had to cope with during my project it was not
until I really felt that this project's success or failure to show the
benefits of a vegetarian diet was dependent on me, that I gave it
that 110 percent! And I owed it to myself, and in a sense, society, to
really put some effort into this project for it may someday prove to be of
great benefit to others.
The End . As this semester long
project draws to a close, I am pressed to closely examine how productive
and beneficial this project has been for me. Because this paper can
perhaps be used as a resource guide for future self-witnessing projects, I
write this section of my paper with special care.
Positive Points . This project has many positive
points because it is structured for the individual. It is a study that is
specifically designed with the subject in mind. Therefore, it is very
thorough in its data interpretation, especially in those cases where there
seems to be some past experience which is affecting the present behavior.
Negative Points . However, there
are some negative points to a project such as this one also. For the same
reasons that make this data collection technique very attractive, there is
also the problem of whether or not the findings in this report can ever be
generalized to a wider population.
Greater
Knowledge of Myself . There is one area in which this project has
been simply excellent. It has given me a clearer view of who I am and
what makes me work. This project has forced me to look at myself and take
observations in a very unbiased way, and I have learned a lot in which this
project has been simply excellent. It has given me a clearer view of who
I am and what makes me work. This project has forced me to look at myself
and take observations in a very unbiased way, and I have learned a lot
about myself by being both subject and investigator. I can more clearly
see my strengths and weaknesses, although I am pretty intelligent, I am
still unable to overcome my "id." I have a hard time seeing past the here
and now, the future can at times seem so far away. But I now understand
that I must take a good look at the way I live my life in the here and now
and weigh it against the type of life I want in the future. If I want to
live a healthy life later, I now see that I will have to make some
sacrifices now. This to me is a more mature way of seeing my world. I am
no longer a kid who is so caught up in today that I have to time to plan
for tomorrow. I am a mature individual who is able to weigh the pros and
cons of a situation and try to devise a plan that will not only satisfy my
desires in the present, but will protect my health for what lies ahead for
me in the future.
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Jossey-Bass Inc., Publishers. 1979.
Sussman, Vic S. The
Vegetarian Alternative: A Guide to a Healthful and Humane Diet.
Pennsylvania: Rodale Press. 1978.
Ways, Peter. Take Charge
of your Health: The Guide to Personal health Competence
Massachusetts: The Stephen Greene Press. 1985.
Verbalization sample that has been
categorized.
"OK, eating soft tacos for dinner." -- Psychomotor
"Will put lots of vegetables, but put a lot of sour cream also." --
Psychomotor
"And that's fattening!!" -- Cognitive
"Tastes good."
-- Psychomotor
"Feel a little bad for eating this type of food..." --
Affective
"...don't know the nutritional value of." -- Cognitive
AFFECTIVE RESPONSES:
"shouldn't have eaten so much"
"I am overwhelmed"
"I should have
really started this earlier" "I have a slight bit of
resentment towards my diet" |
COGNITIVE RESPONSES
Even if I know something
is wrong, I still try to convince myself that it's OK" "Um, maybe I should go look it
up" "I wonder if
that's a good method" "Don't really remember the
taste of it" |
PSYCHOMOTOR RESPONSES:
"Feel stuffed" "As I look though the indexes
at the library" "It
is cold and the hot cereal feels wonderful as it slides down my throat"
"I'm looking through
the cupboards for something that would make a good breakfast" |
Baseline Data
Wednesday, February
11, 1987
-met with Dr. James, 9:30 - 10:00 am.
-12:00 noon, went to class. Grabbed a diet coke and a teri-burger from
the SAGA wagon outside Porteus Hall. Notice that I tend to eat more
because the wagon is right outside where I work and I can't resist running
down there and grabbing something. The problem is that this wagon does
not really carry any sort of fruit/vegetable that I can eat. Therefore, I
find myself eating a hamburger or hot dog hen I'm in a rush--as I often am
during the semester.
-
-the food that afternoon wasn't the tastiest thing I ever ate, so I gulped
it down even faster. This made for an upset stomach and didn't really
fill me up because I didn't slowly chew and savor my food.
- -felt
nauseous--I ate too FAST!!! Next time I'll either plan my time better so
that I can eat more slowly, or I'll just eat after class--even if it's
late.
|
-6:00 pm--made
myself a dinner of Macaroni and Cheese. I realize that this has a lot of
preservatives because it comes out of a box, but it's just so convenient!
Maybe if Diane and I ate together it would be worthwhile to cook from
scratch, but until then it's kind of a hassle to cook just for one.
- -had water with my meal.
- -I relaxed and ate a slow meal. Only problem, I was watching TV with
my roommate, and I don't really know what I was eating sometimes. It's so
easy to just continue to eat when you are not keeping track of the amount
of what you're eating. I should pay more attention to that area of my
eating habits because it may help stop overeating!
|
-9:00 pm--Oh, oh! Had the
urge to munch! My roommate is an eating fanatic and she and I have so
much snacks in our room! Anyway, she said she felt like snacking on
something, and even though I wasn't hungry, I began to look for something
to eat also. Settled on some Chee-tos while I studied. There it was
again, I wasn't paying attention to what I was eating! Better try and
improve this aspect of my eating behavior also.
Thursday, February 12,
1987
-Didn't eat breakfast because I had an early
appointment with a counselor.
-8:10 am--couldn't pay my
graduation fees so I went instead to the cafeteria--a typical move for
me--move toward a place serving food. I had 1 scoop of corned beef hash
and a scoop of white rice--foods that I don't usually eat. It was just a
novelty at the time. Felt guilty because I really didn't need to eat
anything, because even though I had not eaten any breakfast, I wasn't
hungry. Also, I knew that white rice and all that greasy corned beef hash
was really bad for my diet. It was also more expensive to eat out than to
eat at the apartment! Felt GUILTY!! I don't know why, maybe it's my
upbringing, but I also feel some sort of guilt-pang right when I'm going
to eat something that I know is not really good for me. I have to learn
that if I'm going to eat the food, I might as well enjoy it, or what's the
use in eating it in the first place! Either eat it and enjoy it, or simply
don't indulge--my mom always tells me this because even at home I
get very guilty when I snack on all kinds of junk foods. I am always
trying to rationalize why I'm eating what I am.
-9:00 am--bought
a small diet coke to drink in class--it keeps me awake!
-12:30
pm--ate a pop-tart while in my lecture. No time to eat lunch--rushed to
Kuakini for volunteer work.
-7:30 pm--cooked chicken for my
roommates. Ate approximately one thigh. Also had rice and drank water.
- -we ate while watching
television.
- -also, the chicken was fried--although we used
vegetable oil, it was still pretty greasy.
- -ate fast because my
roommates tend to eat fast.
|
Friday,
February 13, 1987
-7:00 am--ate some leftover chicken. Cold
from the refrigerator. It was just something to put in my stomach.
-7:15 am--rushed to Kuakini Hospital to do some volunteering. Was
still wondering whether I should have eaten something more substantial for
breakfast. The more I thought of this, the more hungry I got!! I think
too much about food!!!
-1:30 pm--ate a soft taco from Campus
Center, drank a medium coke. Remembered that I had a meeting to attend
for work and rushed to Porteus Hall. Ate while I was in the meeting,
again I ate quickly and did not really enjoy my food. Felt self-conscious
because I was eating, but that didn't stop me from continuing to eat.
-5:00 pm--ate a bologna sandwich and some orange juice for dinner. I
was planning to go home so I was in a hurry to get ready.
Saturday, February 14,
1987
-VALENTINE'S DAY!!!
-no breakfast
-12:00 noon, had a luncheon at the Hilton Hawaiian Village. Lunch
included: chicken breast, rice pilaf, 1 cup of tea with cream and
nutrasweet, a raspberry roll and water.
- -although I ate a lot, the servings were small so I
don't really feel that stuffed.
|
-7:30 pm--went to a party. Ate while talking and walking around.
Tended to pick a lot also. Ate chinese chicken salad, some macaroni and
cheese (made from scratch!), 3 baked potato skins, an RC Cola and a piece
of blueberry cream cheese pie.
Sunday, February 15,
1987
-no breakfast.
-1:00 pm--went to a drive-in I
used to enjoy eating at in Ewa Beach. However, I found the place to be
greatly changed--or was it just me! Anyway, I ate half a teri-burger,
french fries and a medium diet coke--my usual meal! My stomach was a
little upset after eating--could be all the grease I had digested.
-7:30 pm--ate stew and rice with sambai-zuke for dinner. Ate at
home. Warmed up the food for my boyfriend and myself. Ate in front of
the TV. It was nice to eat home-cooking though. My mom is cutting down
on salt and other bad things in our diet so the food was relatively good
for me on top of tasting good.
Monday, February 16,
1987
-HOLIDAY!!
-9:00 am--breakfast consisted of 1
? cherry pop-tarts. I also drank some water with it--I didn't really
enjoy the taste but I ate it anyway and gave the rest of the box to my
roommate. She'll eat just about any flavor of pop-tarts. When I thought
about this earlier, I thought how dumb I was to continue eating what I
didn't like. I should have either dumped it and gotten something better
to eat, or just stop eating--I have to stop trying to finish eating
everything I start.
-3:00 pm--ate a bagel and some Monterrey
jack cheese. Had some orange juice. Quite a late lunch, I was busy doing
my application for graduate school. Good idea to keep my mind and hands
busy--I don't eat--good strategy for losing weight!
7:00 pm--Had
a soft taco and water. Again I cooked for my roommates. Whenever I cook
for them, I tend to eat more! I had a lot of sour cream with my soft
taco--it was heavenly. Again I felt guilty though about eating such a
rich meal.
-10:30 pm--had a taste of some banana bread.
Tuesday, February 17,
1987
-no breakfast
-8:45 am--had a medium diet coke
-1:30 pm--had a Burger King salad. Lot of dressing. The salad
consisted of: lettuce, mushrooms, some potato salad, cheese and bleu
cheese dressing.
-7:00 pm--went to visit Diane, she had Maui
potato chips so I snacked on that before I went home.
-7:30
pm--had a left-over soft taco and a glass of water.
Wednesday, February 18,
1987
-7:15 am--had a bagel and orange juice
-9:00
am--had a piece of coconut haupia cake. Party at our office. Bad, our
office is always having parties or has food left out to snack on. It's
hard for me to resist it when I see cookies or candies left for the
taking! Have to learn better self-control.
-9:30 am--met with
Dr. James. he gave us tips on how to "spice" up our diets. Some
very good suggestions. I especially liked his idea of using garlic to
replace meat tastes in our diet. Also, his sandwich ideas, and other
ideas for a healthy and filling lunch were recorded. This will be a
supplement to my baseline data.
-2:00 pm--lunch after class.
Starving!!!! Better that I eat before class so that I won't go overboard
when I finally eat. Had a sandwich and a diet coke. Still felt hungry
even though I was stuffed. I guess I waited too long to eat!
Monday, February 23,
1987
For lunch wanted to pick up something easy so had a
bagel (laughing) orange juice and I'm going to watch tv and eat. Feel
stuffed, shouldn't have ate so much. Ate chips too. We think harder next
time before I eat chips. (laughing again)
After I ate all that
food, feel very tired. I feel like sleeping. It's now 4:31.
OK,
eating soft tacos for dinner. Feel, well put a lot of vegetables, but put
a lot of sour cream also and that's fattening. Taste good. Feel a little
bad for eating this type of food that I don't know the nutritional value
of.
I found one of the problems about spending a great deal of
time watching tv--it's just that you tend to see a lot of commercials
about food and it, and it just makes me want to eat. My roommate is just
like me. She likes to snack. In fact worse, she snacks all the time with
her boyfriend. But, as soon as we see commercials for pizza, or anything,
it's like let's go out and eat something. So I think that's one of the
problems. That's how I'm going to control what and when I eat. Um, maybe
spend--well, there's a concept called "cool thoughts" so maybe that's what
I'll do. Instead of thinking "hot thoughts" like how it's so good and so
great to eat it. I'll just think cool thoughts like, yeah, it's pizza and
don't even think about the satisfaction I'd get from eating it. I guess
that's it. Cause I tend to eat even when I'm not hungry.
Notice
that I drink a lot of orange juice. (laughing) Should find out though,
the value of Tang, if it's as good as fresh oranges.
Maybe I
should consider buying more fruits and vegetables for snacks instead of
chips and candies. I tend to eat it cause it's quick and easy to get to
because it's in our room.
I realize that candy is fattening, but
is it considered non-vegetarian?!!
I wonder if talking about food
makes you eat food more because it's always on your mind. This taping
could be doing that to me.
Tuesday, February 24,
1987
For breakfast had a bagel and about 6 oz. of orange
juice. Pretty much automatic eating just to get something in my stomach.
Don't really remember the taste of eating. I know I was eating at the
time. (sound tired) Um, I'll most likely pick up a soda before class. A
diet coke. Mainly because it helps keep me awake. Studied 'till late
last night. Quite tired. Don't know if I'll have time for lunch.
Ate some salad from Burger King (laughing) for lunch with a Diet Coke
and had, um, snacked on some Maui Potato Chips with Diane and ate two soft
tacos when I came home. Left overs from last night. Still used a lot of
sour cream. (laughing)
Starting to do research on different
kinds of foods and how good a vegetarian diet is for you. Want to find
out what kinds of food combinations would add up to enough proteins that
we would need (doorbell rings)
Craving something sweet--don't
know what to eat--uh, maybe should look up recipes that would be good for
me on top of being good for my sweet tooth.
Maybe I should cut up
vegetables and other nutritious and not fast and sweet foods for snacking
between meals.
Still noticing that talking to a tape recorder is
not comfortable. Find I have to stop and think what I'm going to say.
Maybe in the future I'll either have to get used to talking to it while
I'm in the process of eating or have to get my roommates to stop getting
on my case about how silly it looks.
Starting to eat brown rice
more often. Have bought a 5-lb. bag of rice for my dorm. I guess Diane
and I will be eating that for dinner. Also bought potatoes and looking
for other types of starches and beans that I can use as proteins and other
meat substitutes.
Have stopped eating eggs and tried to get
through with the process meats in my refrig and then I can get started on
that part of my diet.
10:10 on February, what is today/s date?
17, 1987. Just got through studying a bit. Tired. Want something to
drink. Can't decide whether I should drink coke, or diet coke or water.
That would be the best for me, but I need something to keep me awake.
Wanted to eat Maui Potato Chips that Diane gave me but realized that 12:00
is too late for a snack like that. So I drank 2 cups of juice and I'm
going to go to sleep and that's bad too. It's very cold and I think that
makes me eat too.
Breakfast, Wednesday, February 25. Ate a bagel as I walked to work.
Had a birthday party for people at work. Now I have a piece of coconut
cake in front of me. Don't really know if I want to eat it or not, it's
just sort of sitting here. But most likely I know I'll eat this later.
Thursday,
February 26, 1987
Breakfast, had something small again. Am
always rushing around. I better wake up earlier next time. Sure, I do
wake up early but I just cruise around the house. Maybe I should make up
a time schedule so that I can better manage my time.
Dinner--went
out and picked up something to eat from one of the drive-ins near me at UH
dorms. I realize how bad it is for me to keep eating out, but I'm just so
lazy to make something wonderful for me to eat.
Friday, February 27,
1987
I'm rushing to the office. I'll grab something to eat
from the wagon outside Porteus.
I'm at the office. My stomach is
making strange noises. I'm trying to act nonchalant but I still feel
rather weird. Nothing really appealing to eat. I'll just pick up a donut.
Feeling a bit more satisfied but I do feel somewhat guilty
because I ate that donut. Why do I always feel guilty when I eat--is it
something from my childhood, the way I was raised, because I'm an only
child. Nah, I really wonder why!
Lunch--hungry!! Met Diane for
lunch. We just finished at Kuakini Day Care. Thankful that I don't have
to eat what some of those people had to eat!
Ate at Burger King
again. This time we are going to eat a side salad. I really enjoy the
salad bar here because it has potato salad and pasta salad. Fattening!
Dinner,
February 27
I wonder what I should eat. I was going to go
home tonight but I decided to stay at the dorms and study.
I'm
eating a sandwich. Tuna to be exact. I'm using Lite Mayonnaise, it
tastes ok, but it's not as rich as real mayonnaise. Had the sandwich with
a diet coke. I notice that I drink a whole lot of soda. I really think I
should cut down, even though I usually drink diet sodas, all that
carbonated water must be laying havoc with my brain cells!
Monday, March 2, 1987
Breakfast--starting my intervention plan today. That means
that I am now a vegetarian. I wonder what kind of breakfast I should eat.
I guess a bagel will be ok. Actually breakfast is not much of a problem
since I usually eat only bread products or drink some juice.
Lunch--I know I'm on this vegetarian diet but I have a craving for a
chicken sandwich from Burger King. Should I give in? My mind says no,
but my stomach says "why not?!" Guess what I'm going to do? Yup, going
to eat a chicken sandwich. I feel soooo guilty!! But it tastes sooooooo
good!! I'm so bad, I better get a stronger will-power.
Dinner--went to Star Market and picked up a salad. They have a fantastic
salad bar. I had some lettuce, fruit and I drank water when I brought it
home. It was surprisingly satisfying.
Snack--terrible I feel
like eating again. Decided to snack. Eat some chips at the prodding of
my roommate and her boyfriend. Drank a diet coke with my chips, still
hooked on soda.
Tuesday, March 3, 1987
Breakfast--Oh, yeah today's Girl's
Day. anyway, what am I going to eat today? I go through this everyday,
why is getting something into my stomach at breakfast so difficult?! I
mean I love to eat. I better stop talking and look for something to eat.
Finally decided to eat a bagel and had some orange juice.
Lunch--went to lunch with my boyfriend Keefe. We decided to eat at the
Campus Center. I forgot to take my tape recorder with me to lunch so this
being done ex-post facto. I ate a term-burger and fries with a medium diet
coke. It was a very big lunch and I wanted to sleep after I ate. Decided
that I would go jogging, but I didn't. I felt very bad because I was on
my vegetarian diet--I promise to stick 100% to this diet from now on.
Dinner--I am eating stuffing for dinner. It is out of a box. I
realize that this is not a very balanced diet but I really enjoy stuffing
and at least it didn't contain any red meat.
Wednesday, March 4, 1987
I woke up late this morning and am now rushing around the
house trying to get ready to go to work.
Breakfast--I picked up a
pop-tart as I left the house. I stuffed pop-tart into my mouth as I
walked to work. By the time I reached Porteus Hall I felt nauseous.
Learned my lesson. No more eating and walking at the same time.
Lunch--ate the pop-tart earlier and I don't really know if I'm hungry
enough to eat something right now. Oh, well, I guess I'll eat anyway. I
am eating a salad from Campus Center. It is cool and refreshing as it
goes in my mouth. I am really enjoying being "made" to eat vegetables. I
am learning that I really do enjoy the taste and feel of the vegetables in
my mouth. Without this project I don't think I would have tried this many
different kinds of vegetable dishes.
Dinner--ate my left-over
stuffing. I also made myself some cooked vegetables in the microwave. As
I was eating my dinner I began to feel really full. I never realized how
filling a vegetarian diet can be.
Snack--ate an apple--hooray!!
This was the first time in a long time that I chose a fruit over chips or
candy. maybe I am learning some self-control.
Monday, March 23, 1987
Start of Spring Recess--I wonder how my diet will hold up
during this time.
Breakfast--had a big breakfast of eggs and
toast with some orange juice.
This breakfast kept me satisfied
all day. No wonder they say that breakfast is the most important meal of
the day.
I am still on my vegetarian diet but it's not as bad as
it was at the beginning. I remember that at the start of this project I
had to really struggle to keep myself from eating meat. I believe that it
is getting easier to follow this diet plan because I now really want to
know the benefits of a vegetarian lifestyle. I am hoping that this couple
of weeks of trying to be a vegetarian will at least give me some clue as
to how a practicing vegetarian really feels.
Skipped lunch.
Dinner--I am preparing Macaroni and Cheese for dinner. I never tried
it before but I know a lot of people in the dorms swear by it to get them
through the night.
Wasn't bad. I ate some of it and found the
taste pretty good. Maybe I should try and find a receipt for macaroni and
cheese from scratch--I bet it's a lot healthier than all the things I am
eating from a box.
Friday, March 27, 1987
I feel really bad. This is the
first time I am taping since the spring recess started one week ago. I
wonder why I didn't keep up with my recording. Was it that I was just
very busy? Could it be that I just did not want to think about this diet?
I feel just awful. I was so sure that I was really motivated to give the
100% needed to make this new diet work.
Next week I promise to
take my project more seriously.
Monday, March 31, 1987
Breakfast--this time I'm really going to stick to my diet.
I promise!
I'm looking through my cupboards for something that
would make a good breakfast. I remember that when I ate a big breakfast
it made it much easier to stick to a stricter diet program. Thus I think
I will eat some oatmeal.
10:00 am. It's already mid-morning and
I don't even feel hungry. hey, I think it is really a good idea to have a
filling breakfast.
Lunch--I went to the wagon downstairs and
discovered nothing that would be fit to eat during my attempt at
vegetarianism.
Went to the cafeteria and bought a small salad.
Even tried to keep the amount of dressing I used to a minimum. The salad
was very ono. Maybe I'll have to start bringing lunch to school. Not
only will it be easier to find appropriate foods but it may also save me
money.
Dinner--I had a bagel and a salad for dinner tonight. As
I look at my dinner and compare it to what my roommates are eating across
the table from me, I do admit that I have a slight amount of resentment
towards my diet. However, my resentment quickly passes and I am again
enthusiastic about this diet.
I feel really full. I still can't
believe how full one can become on a salad alone. I feel like I just ate
a big Grace's plate lunch.
Snack--felt like eating pop-tarts or
potato chips just now. Held back. I feel really proud of myself, I am
actually putting some real effort into this project. I KNOW I will
be successful in my program.
Tuesday, April 1, 1987
April Fool's Day and Keefe's Birthday.
Breakfast--as I sit eating my oatmeal again this morning I am doing some
reading about the various ways in which to make a vegetarian diet exciting
and interesting.
Lunch--am eating an early lunch because I did
not have my class this afternoon. Went to eat at Burger King. I was
really tempted to eat a hamburger and fries, but I remembered my
commitment and ordered a side salad instead. Although I ate some potato
salad I tried to fill myself up with leafy greens.
Dinner--heated
up some soup and I am now putting together a salad to go with it. I try
to make my salads as interesting as I can because many of the books I have
read says that the key to making vegetarianism easier to continue is to
make the food appealing and to serve it in as many different styles as
possible.
My salad and soup look absolutely scrumptious. I am
really feeling good about my decision to continue this diet.
Feeling good and filled up--soup really is good food!
Snack--for
my usual snack I had some soda crackers. it was good and filling so that
I really didn't have to eat very much. I drank 2 cups of water. I am
feeling very contented.
Thursday, April 2, 1987
Oh, forgot to record this
yesterday. At about 11:00 we celebrated Keefe's birthday with an ice
cream cake--good thing it was made up of milk and I was attempting an
Lacto-Ovo diet. The ice cream was so delicious. So sweet. I didn't
realize how long it has been since I had eaten anything really sweet.
Oh-oh, I feel cravings coming on in the future.
Breakfast--am
drinking a cup of orange juice. I am still very full f rom the cake from
last night.
Lunch--ate a side salad at Burger King again. Again
I ate too much. Oh, yeah, I also had a large fries and a diet coke!!
Dinner--I am making a salad--discovered that I really like carrots
and peas in my salad. I am preparing a huge salad with all the fixings.
Also, am preparing a bit of fried rice with lots of garlic and
onions. It smells so ono.
The food is delicious. I really like
this fried rice. With the garlic it tastes as though there really is some
meat in it. A neat trick that I have to credit Dr. James with.
Friday, April 3,
1987
Breakfast--I am eating oatmeal with a cup of milk this
morning. It is cold and the hot cereal feels wonderful as it slides down
my throat.
Lunch--I actually brought my own lunch today. I have
a pita sandwich consisting of some lite butter spread and a piece of
American cheese. Tastes so ono and so easy too. All I had to do was pull
it out of my bag. I should have really started doing this earlier. But
isn't that how my whole life is like?!!
Dinner--luckily I had the
left-over fried rice to eat for dinner. I just didn't feel like cooking
tonight. I just heated the left-over rice in the microwave and it was
done in a flash. Still as delicious as it was yesterday.
INFORMATION GATHERING
As I was looking
through the library at all the possible materials to use for this report,
I began to look more towards the public health and health psychology
aspects of this topic. As this is my main interest at this point of my
education, I found the information exceedingly interesting. I thin
decided that I would really like to focus my report on the information
gathering process and my acceptance or denial of this new-found
information affected my vegetarian diet.
I thought that the best
way for me to get my true feelings and thoughts as I looked through this
information would be to record what I thought as I looked for information
and read through it. Since I did not know if this would be acceptable for
my Psychology 499 course, I just read through one article and I am
including some of it here.
TRANSCRIPT
"Physicians' Beliefs about the Importance of 25 Health Promoting
Behaviors"
(Taping) As I look through the indexes and
other, uh, references I am overwhelmed by the multitude of books and
magazines to choose from. I think I will concentrate my efforts on trying
to find things having to do with why people don't use the information that
they have when deciding how to live--I mean, even if I know something is
wrong, I still try to convince myself that it's OK. I guess that would be
called denial? I should bring this up with Diane and Dr. J.
Oh,
found an interesting sounding one--abut Physician beliefs. Um, maybe I
should go look it up. It's in the Public Health Journal so I think I
would find it interesting since I want to do my grad work in this area of
study.
Found the article, not as hard as I thought it would be.
They did this study by way of a mail in survey--I wonder if that's a good
method. Sometimes what people report is not what they really think right?
Better bring this up in class too--nah, I know I'm gonna forget all this
when Wednesday comes. Anyway, let's see. Oh, they only did this on
physicians in Maryland. I wonder if it would differ from doctors in
Hawaii. I would think so because the lifestyle here is very different.
Actually maybe it wouldn't because doctors all basically have the same
backgrounds yeah? No wait, my God, I'm so wishy-washy. you know, I
really think they would differ because the backgrounds, ethnicities, of
the doctors here are more diverse--at least I would think so. A lot of
what you believe must be instilled in you when you were growing up (I
think) but maybe it would change as you got more information. I should
look into this aspect of health education. I think it would be hard to
change though. I mean I am finding it very hard at times to break old
habits--they die hard right?
Anyways, it says here that they are
trying to see whether doctors comply with various health promoting
behaviors that have been shown to be associated with decreased mortality
and morbidity--eh, what was that again? I better go look it up, and yet,
the practice of such preventive and protective health behaviors varies
within the population. I guess that's logical since everyone brings in
their own thoughts to this kind of information. That's interesting right
there--why are there differences? Shouldn't everyone want to live longer
and healthier? Maybe for some people short term fun is better than what
they think long term stuff will bring. You know, it couldn't happen to my
syndrome. I really think the stuff they are discussing is very
interesting.
I found this trip to the library very interesting
and informative. I never realized the wealth of information that the
library has to offer. Just the number of books on compliance behaviors
were astounding. Just overwhelming!
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