The first approach of the Participation Theory is Sanity. This deals with how a person relates with other people. "Traditional psychotherapy had defined sanity as the absence of mental illness." This theory lets us interact successfully while working and creating close relationships. The Participation Theory thinks that sanity is learned and not lost. By interacting with other people, we learn how to be human beings. By this interaction, it forms how we are and who we are.

The second approach is called Love vs. Intimacy. This approach helps us deal with people rather than the how we feel about other people. The Participation Theory defines intimacy as "the closeness and camaraderie that's created when partners are able to satisfy each others needs." Dr. Raymond says that intimacy is "about something." He says that this "something" is the bond that creates a relationship. He also states that love and determination is not enough to create an intimate relationship in the absense of some shared need or interest. Dr. Raymond also writes that couples feel that if their partner really loves them, they would act the way how they want them to act. If they don't, they will assume that their partner doesn't "feel" the way they should feel.

The third approach is called Getting Along. By having a successful relationship, you have to learn to get along with your partner. If we don't communicate with our partner, we start to drift away from them. In order for us to communicate well, we have to reach an agreement of what to do. The Participation Theory helps us "appreciate the difficulty inherent in reaching consensus by drawing our attention to the thousands of consensual and dis-consensual encounters we experience from the moment we are born." By making our needs known, we start to create our "personality." In addition, some people don't act they way how they would like to act because they are complied to the accepted norms. By acting like that, you don't know what is real and what is fake. It is also important for our partners to provide feedback to prevent a collision from happening.

The fourth approach deals with Competence vs. Pretending. The Participation Theory says that we need to participate with others in a way that it sane and/or intimate. It also says that since there is so much to learn and with very little opportunity to learn it, we just fake it.

Pretending to act a certain way only last for so long. Pretended agreements may lead to conflict because people get confused and mad when their partner doesn't do what they said they were going to do. Pretend coordination is also bad because partners need accurate information in order to adjust to one another. Dr. Raymond says, "When competences are pretended, partners are prone to making the type of interpretations that can lead to a whole other level of irritation and resentment."

The last approach is called Reality. The Participation Theory says that we need to "consider the notion that our abilities are specific to a particular context." Something maybe right one day and wrong the next day. We need to take things one day at a time. Dr. Raymond states that we "must learn to recognize the inner reality of our thoughts." Certain ideas that we have about ourselves and the world are accurate, and others are not. How we see ourselves and others that aren't true make up a world of "intra-verbals" that are just as strong as "real" with their impact of verbal abuse of a parent or criticized by your spouse. Sometimes the "intra-verbals" are soft whispers, but can devastate you deeply. We need to be more aware of our intra-verbals and accept their existence even as we create new experiences that challenge their validity.

Dr. Tom Raymond also has a questionnaire on Individual Therapy. In this quesitonnaire, he asks you to describe your problem, your age, your family of origin, and lastly, what you've done in the past to solve your problems. He also has a questionnaire on Family Therapy. Family Therapy is similar to individual therapy except you are asked to describe your families problem and a description of the members of your family. The last therapy is called the Couples Therapy. Dr. Raymond asks you to describe the problem with your relationship and a description of you and your partner.

One of the ideas that are attractive to me was in the Participation Theory of Sanity. I realized that in order for us to be "who we are" we need to interact with people. After all, it is the other people who makes us how we are today. Everyone has a choice on how and who they want to be. I think that other people's personality can really influence your personality. However, it is the individual who make the "final call." The second idea that I found to be attractive is Getting Along. It states that "Still others are so swept up in complying to the accepted norms that they can't distinguish between a genuine and a pretended need." This really caught my eye because I can see so many people making decisions in their lives and they don't even know if they are making that decision for them or for someone else. I can admit that in my life, I made choices that were known to be the "accepted norm." However, as I got older, I realized that what ever decision I make, it's for me. People may not agree with what I do or what I say, but I know that the decisions I make is what's best for me and my life. I also think that by getting along with people, you become more open-minded. Since I've been at the University for quite some time, I encountered so many people with different personalities and attitudes. I found this to benefit me in a way that I am more "in-tuned" with who I am and how I want to be. With relationships, it's important to compromise when you are making decisions with your partner. I feel that whatever problems arise in your relationships it is very necessary to be open-minded and compromise with each other. By doing it this way, it can be a "win-win" situation.

One of the ideas that I didn't find attractive is Love vs. Intimacy. Dr. Raymond says that "Over time, the frustration of not being 'close' creates enough unhappiness that both sides decide the other 'doesn't really care' even though it's not true." Although a person may feel that the other "doesn't really care," I feel that sometimes, a person may get frustrated because they are not close and then they feel want to have that "closeness" relationship. Dr. Raymond is saying that people may run away from their problems; however, I think that there are some people in this world who will confront it and let their "guard" down. Closeness is something that everyone wants, whether it's from a significant other, friends, or family. I think that it's important to give and receive hugs and compassion from people. It could make your day seem a lot brighter! The second idea that I didn't like was the overall therapies. I feel that filling out questionnaires is not a form of "self help" counseling. I think that therapy should be in a form of "face-to-face" rather than in cyberspace. I have worked at a counseling center and have witnessed an actual counseling session and I feel that meeting with people "face-to-face" provides a more open and honest feeling in the room. Your facial expressions and eye contact are important while listening to the patient.

I found this web site that had to deal with Relationships in work and family. This site is specially designed for people who have problems with people with whom they work or affect them in their family life. Some of the issues may deal with managing time pressure, stress, co-workers or family members, career change, and job loss. This site is a home therapy that specializes for personal and interpersonal growth within your special group. The therapy method that you use is sharing your goals and helping each other and improving insight. Your therapist is your group leader or facilitator and helps you create your own therapy within this certain group.

This hometherapy also helps you with Anger Management. This anger management is designed for people who have impulse control or anger management problems or are close to someone who does. It is helpful to work through your personal issues and feelings with a specialized therapist as well as people who have these similar experiences. This therapy is designed exactly like the relationships with work and family. Both of these groups allows you to have access to your group at all times by reading or writing messages to the people in your group. All of your messages are screened for confidentiality and anonymity by their specially designed system before they are forwarded to your group members. In addition, your real name or other information that may lead to you are erased for your protection. Your group, including your therapist receive at least two screened messages a day.

There is also a therapist alert function when you want to talk to your therapist directly and privately about things that you do not wish to discuss with the other people in your group. However, "the therapist alert function is available for $45.00 per therapist response."

Two things that I found to be attractive was the fact that you feel like you are not alone with your problems. Since you are grouped with other people who have similar problems/situations, you may feel more open to share with other people your thoughts/feelings. In addition, you are not only helping yourself, but you are also helping others with their problems. I also found the therapist alert function to be attractive to me. I feel that it is important to have group therapy and also individual therapy as well. I feel that having that private communication allows the individual to be more open and expressive with the group leader.

Two things that I found to be unattractive is the fact that the messages has to be screened before they are sent out. I think that since this is a therapy session, people need to talk freely and openly to each other. Communication plays a big role with this kind of therapy since they don't meet on a face-to-face basis. Another thing I found to be unattractive is the fact that when they do talk to the facilitator, they will be charged $45.00 per therapist response. When I read this part on the web site, I was really discouraged when I read this part because I feel that these people do not need to pay the facilitator in order to have his opinion to be heard. I just assume that there is going to be a time during the therapy session when you have to talk to the facilitator on a one-to-one basis about a certain problem that you have. I think that this payment of $45.00 is a way to get more money out of them.

In conclusion, I feel that I would not advise anyone to use cyber-therapy for their problems. I think that it is important to have that "face-to-face" relationship and contact. In addition, I feel that your facial expressions and body movement is important when conducting therapy. I "sat-in" a counseling therapy a couple of times and I realized that eye-contact and vocal communication makes the individual feel that you really know how and why they feel this certain way. I also believe that cyber-therapy doesn't help the individual with their problems in a way that will help them understand why they are feeling this certain way. I think that an individual would take months or even years to understand his/her feelings. Also, the individual would need interaction and closeness to make them feel that they are not alone with their problems.

One thing I found attractive is the fact that Dr. Cohn makes these tapes available for the fearful drivers. I think that when you listen to these tapes, it makes you feel relaxed and calm while you're driving. They may also make the driver feel that they are not the only one in the car and that there is someone there talking to them. It may sound silly, but maybe the drivers start to become scared because they are alone in the vehicle. When there is someone else in the car, they may tend to be less fearful and more relaxed. Another thing that was attractive is the affirmations. I think that it was smart of Dr. Cohn to add these affirmations to the therapy. In addition, you can even use the affirmations after you are finished with your therapy for your personal use. I think that by having these affirmations in your car, it will provide a more stable and relaxed environment with you and your car. I feel that by having these affirmations in your car, it will make a big difference with how your drive and it will make you more aware of what is going on on the road.

One thing that I didn't like about Dr. Cohn's driving therapy is having your own "survival kit." I didn't understand why you would need a survival kit in your car. I think that when you're trying to overcome your fears, you don't really pay any attention to what is in your car. I didn't understand the fact that why would you want to put a stuffed animal or ball to squeeze and look at to over come your fears. I thought that having this survival kit was unncessary and doesn't help in the therapy. If the driver wanted to have a water bottle or pictures in the car, they would put it in. I don't think that you need a survival kit to make your car a more "user friendly" place. If this is YOUR car, you would feel already comfortable. Another thing that I didn't find attractive is the tapes. I know that it is useful with driving and keeping a positive attitude, but I don't think it helps the problem. I think that you would need more than just the tapes and proper breathing in order to help with your problem. I feel that the tapes and proper breathing would help a person who is under a lot of stress. Dr. Cohn doesn't really "deal" with the issue at hand. Although this kind of therapy would probably work well with people under stress, I feel that it wouldn't help people who has problems with driving.

Another driving therapist is Dr. Driving. On his web site, he talks about his book, "Inner Power at the Wheel." This is a self-help book created by Dr. Leon James and Dr. Diane Nahl. In this book, there is the Nine Zones of Your Driving Personality.. Within these zones, there is a Three-Step Program in which he states that this program is designed for a more healthier, zestful traffic life. The first step is to work on your feelings. This will work by committing yourself by being exposed to traffic psychology. This is a life-time committment in which you have to re-dedicate to yourself over and over again. The second step is the work on your thoughts. This is accomplished by building your self-witnessing inventory. The last step is to work on your actions by applying self-modification techniques. He also provides some self-witnessing exercise in which you write down what you do in a certain situation. He also has some problem and solution samples that relates to traffic problems.

One thing that I liked about Dr. Driving is that you work on your inner feelings. I think what makes a person complete is by working on your inner feelings and then your outer feelings. He emphasizes that working on your inner feelings will help a person be a better driver. I think that that is true when it comes to working on yourself. Another thing that I liked about Dr. Driving is having problems and solutions in his therapy. I think that it's important for people to know that they are not alone when it comes to their problems. I think that by presenting problems and solutions, it gives a person a better feeling by wanting to change themselves. It could even make them realize that changing their inner thoughts could predict big results.

One thing that I didn't like about Dr. Driving is the self-witnessing exercise. I don't understand how this exercise can help a person who need therapy for driving. The only result to this exercise is knowing what the person did and if they are satisfied with what they did. I think that Dr. Driving should give some kind of solution or advice to the witnesses. Another thing I didn't find attractive is the driving personality make-over. I think if a person has a problem with driving they need an expert therapist. I feel that cyber-therapy is not enough to cure them from their problems. Although these self-modification techniques could help to some extent, I don't think it will bring a drastic change to a person.

I think that Dr. Cohn's therapy is more of a self-enhancement therapy. Dr. Driving deals more with the issue at hand. Dr. Driving has more information that would seem to work better compared to Dr. Cohn's information. One thing that I liked about Dr. Cohn's therapy is that you can use the tapes for other purposes other than driving. Dr. Driving discusses your inner thoughts about driving. He also expresses ways in which you should feel and what you should do if you are feeling a certain way.

In conclusion, by reading these two kinds of driving therapies, it made me more aware of how I drive. I am more attentive to what I am doing on the road and how my reactions are. I also realized that I can relate to some of the people who has problems on the road. I learned that driving correctly is something that we need to fix inside ourselves. If we change our attitudes, then we may change our driving techniques.

Cyberspace Counter-Culture: Express Yourself

While reading Steve Mizrach's Technology and the Transgressive Impulse, I found three interesting sections to discuss.