Based on the forthcoming book:
Seeing Red, Feeling Blue: Customizing Your Emotional Lifestyle
by Leon James and Diane Nahl
These are general instructions about the project as a whole.
You must also read the separate instructions for Report
1 and Report
2
See also Rage-Depression Survey
Results
Please note: You will need to read these instructions several times before it falls into shape in your mind. Try to memorize most of it so you have it available in your mind all day long.
All individuals are socialized in accordance with cultural norms. To be socialized means to acquire particular habits in the three areas of human functioning:
habits of feeling (AFFECTIVE DOMAIN OF BEHAVIOR)
habits of thinking (COGNITIVE DOMAIN OF BEHAVIOR)
habits of acting (SENSORI-MOTOR DOMAIN OF BEHAVIOR)
Every individual has a threefold-self in which the three parts function together, yet each can be distinguished and isolated for observation and self-modification.
The threefold-self has two arenas to function in. One is the arena of "others" (or the world out there), and the second is the arena of "self." These two arenas--Others and Self--each require their own particular way of functioning. Let's refer to the arena of others as "the red zone" and the arena of self as "the blue zone." Every day individuals have to function in both zones since they have to deal with others (red zone) and with oneself (blue zone).
The two zones (red and blue) can be either negative or positive. For instance, rage is in "the negative red zone" because it is the feeling of anger against someone or thing. Compassion is in "the positive red zone" because it is the feeling of tolerance and caring for someone or thing. Similarly, "the negative blue zone" includes depression and self-destructive behavior since these are negative feelings towards the self. "The positive blue zone" includes feelings of self-mastery and satisfaction since these are positive feelings towards the self. Figure 1 shows the 4 zones together in a circle model.
The above figure shows the 4 zones arranged in a circle. The upper half (zones 1 and 2) refers to others (and the world) while the lower half (zones 2 and 4) refers to self. Zone 1 is the negative red zone and is called Rage. Note that the zone includes the threefold-self: Feeling habits, thinking habits, and sensori-motor habits. Zone 2 is the negative blue zone and is marked Depression--also in three types of habits. Zone 3 is the positive blue zone and is called Mastery (or Self-Confidence). It too operates in affective behaviors (feeling), cognitive behaviors (thinking), and sensori-motor behaviors (acting or doing). Zone 4 is the positive red zone and is called resolve or zeal (or Compassion). Resolve or zeal is red hot like anger but it is more rational and tolerant; hence anger is negative while resolve or zeal is positive.
Note that the 4 zones with the threefold-self in each make up 12 settings arranged around a circle. This is called the emotional spin cycle because it maps out the cultural norms of behavior we acquire in socialization and divides them into these 4 main categories. It is like the spin cycle of a wash machine. By changing the settings you change the behavior or function of the machine. Similarly, to function as socialized individuals we acquire particular habits that run themselves off according to prescription (also called "social scripts" or "schemas"). We have the impression that we are acting on our own from ourselves, not realizing that we are just running off the social scripts we acquired as children and adults. We know this by comparing what people feel, think, and do in specific situations, and seeing they are so similar or equivalent. This proves that our feelings, thoughts, and actions are learned and standardized, shared by many in a society.
Here is the next figure (2). Look at the 12 settings of the daily emotional spin cycle we all go through.
The 12 settings are arranged in a circle from negative red, to negative blue, to positive blue, to positive red. How well do you know your own daily emotional spin cycle? There are two methods psychologists use to answer this question. One approach is to ask you to respond to various questions (or "personality scale items") and then comparing your answers to other people's answers or to some standards already established. This method raises reliability issues since the data depend on how accurate your responses are, or how well they represent what you really do. A second approach is to have you monitor your feelings, thoughts, and actions as they occur and make some sort of record of it for later analysis. This approach offers a better promise of being valid and comprehensive and is the method we will use for this report. The idea in a nutshell is for you to monitor your threefold-self at certain designated times during the day and recording which of the 4 zones you are in at the time of the self-observation. By doing this several times a day over a few days, you will be able to have the data on your emotional spin cycle.
The next figure (3) specifies the content of the 12 settings on your daily emotional spin-cycle.
Note that each of the 4 zones involves the threefold-self. Let's go around the 12 settings and explain their content.
Setting 1: Negative red feeling
Negative affect against others can be summarized under the category of "anger or rage." This refers to a desire or motive to hurt someone or to destroy something. This emotional setting includes a large collection of negative feelings such as:
** desire to harm or cause injury or loss to someone
** hatred or the desire to torture or kill someone
** feeling of condemnation
** feeling of disapproval
** wanting to discriminate or exclude someone
** feeling like throwing something or punching
** wanting to talk back or to mock someone
** wanting to get someone into trouble
** wanting to give someone a piece of your mind
** wanting to make someone feel guilty or dirty or ashamed
** etc. etc.
Setting 2: Negative red thinking
Negative cognitions against others are made of emotionally impaired thoughts. This type of thinking process is biased, inaccurate, and irrational. For example, we might assume that someone wanted to insult us when in fact there was no such intention. It's common to make mistakes and exaggerate when we think in this faulty manner. Negative red thinking goes with and agrees with negative red feeling. The two act in harmony with each other. When you feel hatred towards someone, you begin to think wrong, making the wrong assessment of the situation, losing the sense of reality. Negative feelings and negative thoughts always function together and support each other. It's common to be aware of our negative thoughts but most people are less aware of their feelings. Here are some examples of negative red thinking:
** thinking about or planning to take revenge
** engaging in fantasies of violence or torture
** rehearsing all the things you're going to say to upset someone
** compulsively going over and over again some past situation
** using a biased train of thoughts (self-serving logic)
** conveniently ignoring relevant information
** exaggerating or being inaccurate
** thinking about how to insult someone
** keeping blinders on to maintain one's skewed thinking
** interpreting many things as insulting that are not meant that way
** not considering alternatives (rigidified thinking)
** maintaining an attribution bias (favoring self, others always at fault)
** putting things together in a false sequence
** justifying our wrong and rejecting responsibility for it
** etc. etc.
Setting 3: Negative red doing
Sensori-motor behavior does not occur by itself. It is preceded by feeling and thinking. For instance, if you're feeling anger towards someone (setting 1) and you become aware of negative thoughts (setting 2), you're almost certain to act out by behaving aggressively or destructively (setting 3)--depending on the situation. You may feel like being violent in some situation in which you feel rage and at the same time think justifying thoughts that reinforce the rage. In that case the three settings of zone 1 (1, 2, and 3) act together as your threefold-self. You are experiencing the spin cycle from settings 1, 2, and 3, back and forth for minutes or hours. But in other situations it's dangerous to express your hatred and judgment in overt action such as saying something or making an insulting face or gesture, or throwing something. In that case we inhibit the overt doing (setting 3) and our rage remains private.
Here are examples of negative red doing:
Sensations (negative red doing):
** sensing yourself breathing rapidly
** sensing hot flashes or breaking our in sweat
** sensing trembling in your hands, lips, facial muscles
** sensing cramps or tightness
** sensing a headache
** sensing dry mouth
** experiencing blurred vision
** hearing your voice as shrill or abnormal
** etc. etc.
Movements and Expressions (negative red doing):
** striking out, punching, scratching, biting someone or something
** forcefully holding someone who wants to get free
** standing in a rigid or aggressive pose
** yelling at someone to make them feel bad
** speaking with a sarcastic tone to insult someone
** gesturing insults or using offensive, mocking, ridiculing speech
** suddenly leaving in a huff to indicate your displeasure
** setting your face into menacing expressions
** writing an insulting or hurtful letter or note
** driving off in a hurry, screeching your tires to show you're mad
** driving fast to take out your anger on something
** making an irate phone call
** deliberately playing loud music to annoy someone
** damaging property to retaliate
** sabotaging something (monkey wrench)
** breaking your promise to protest
** etc. etc.
Setting 4: Negative blue feeling
The blue zone refers to the emotional lifestyle we have towards ourselves. Raging is behavior that can have two targets: others and the world (red zone--settings 1, 2, 3) or self (blue zone--settings 4, 5, 6). Raging against self occurs in the affective state of depression or dissatisfaction that becomes obsessive. We feel the need to make ourselves suffer, even to destroy ourselves. Of course this is irrational and the state of depression engenders irrational thought sequences (see below). Negative blue feelings are experienced in many varieties that include self-hatred ("I hate myself"), desire to punish self, feeling guilty, ashamed, lack of enthusiasm, and so on, as explained later.
Here are some examples that can help you better witness and describe your feeling at setting 4: depression and dissatisfaction:
** feeling mad at yourself (calling yourself negative names)
** feeling compulsively ashamed or guilty and unable to stop
** wanting to hit or kick yourself (raging against oneself)
** wanting to punish and denigrate yourself
** feeling worthless
** feeling helpless
** feeling very anxious or terrified about a normal event
** feeling that you deserve to be punished or ridiculed
** wanting to cut or injure yourself
** wanting to break something that is of value to you
** wanting to throw away something that is dear to you
** wanting to die or disappear
** feeling discouraged and unable to stop
** feeling desperate and out of control
** feeling a lack of enthusiasm for everything
** etc. etc.
Negative blue feeling (setting 4) acts together with negative blue thinking (setting 5) to produce activity in setting 6 (negative blue doing). Thus, self-destructive behavior (setting 6) is the result of depression and dissatisfaction (setting 4) acting together with pessimistic and cynical thinking (setting 5).
** etc. etc.
Setting 5: Negative blue thinking
Negative cognitions about self or toward self are characteristically pessimistic or cynical. Pessimistic thinking includes catastrophizing, which is the tendency to expect the worst in any situation. Cynical thinking is a kind of pessimism since cynical thinking leaves you surrounded by a depressing world. Feeling depressed or obsessively dissatisfied engenders pessimistic and cynical thoughts. The feeling and the thinking agree with each other and end up on the same side, reinforcing one another and strengthening their bond. Together they can produce acting out or doing in the sensori-motor domain of behavior.
Here are examples that can help you better witness and describe your thinking at setting 5: pessimistic and cynical thoughts:
** thinking that the worst is going to happen or catastrophizing
** exaggerating how bad things are and scaring yourself
** compulsively thinking about bad things (ruminating)
** not thinking clearly (confused, being out of it)
** blocking what others are saying or suggesting (skewed thinking)
** ruminating over something that happened and unable to stop thinking or talking about it
** elaborating on fantasies of doom and gloom
** thinking pessimistically (the possible becomes the probable)
** thinking cynically and doubting anything good and true
** thinking there is no higher authority than your own (arrogance)
** concluding that life just isn't worth all the trouble (suicidal)
** deciding you don't need anyone for support or approval (alienation)
** deciding there is nothing you can do about something (helplessness)
** planning to hurt someone who loves or supports you
** thinking you don't deserve better (low self-esteem)
** etc. etc.
Setting 6: Negative blue doing
Self-destructive behavior is the outcome of combining negative feeling and thinking. The variety of such behavior is quite large and and they are familiar to everyone. They include a visible change in body activity which slows down and loses productivity, so that we fail to complete tasks or we deliberately make errors. We also tend to engage in high risk behavior that is dangerous and destructive to ourselves. This negative sensori-motor behavior continues as long as the negative feeling and thinking continue to act together. In other words: as long as you continue to feel obsessed with your dissatisfaction and combine it with pessimistic or cynical thoughts, you will act out some self-destructive behavior.
Here are examples that to help you better witness and describe your doing at setting 6: self-destructive behavior:
** moving slowly or feeling tired all the time
** unable to complete tasks
** sustaining injuries due to carelessness
** engaging in high risk behaviors due to recklessness
** looking downcast, unhappy, discouraged, sad sack
** not taking care of your body
** overdoing or indulging in harmful substances
** purging (bulimia syndrome) or gorging
** doing dangerous and reckless things that are out of control
** deliberately spoiling your chances and insuring defeat
** etc. etc.
Now here is the diagram again. It would be most useful to you if you could memorize it enough so you can reproduce it on paper and see it in your mind as a mental map to guide your observations:
Setting 7: Positive blue feeling
Here we are crossing over into positive territory on the daily emotional spin cycle. Positive feelings towards the self typically include the feeling of self-satisfaction, self-mastery, and the desire to enhance your potential. It's the opposite of negative blue feeling. These positive blue feelings seek out and promote positive blue thinking (see below). Positive feelings also counteract negative feelings so you can feel less depression or dissatisfaction. Positive feelings towards self (blue) include feeling enthusiastic and productive, feeling grateful and appreciative, and feeling more integrated and whole.
Setting 8: Positive blue thinking
Positive blue cognitions are optimistic as well as realistic. They are compatible with positive blue feelings such as the feeling of self-mastery and self-confidence. Optimistic thinking counteracts pessimistic thinking, and instead of expecting the worst, one ranks the possible or likely outcomes of any event in terms of their probability or likelihood of happening. Positive thinking is not only optimistic but realistic, objective, and rational. The more you are active in setting 7 the more you facilitate setting 8, and vice versa. This gives us the possibility of switching from negative to positive thinking, as explained below.
Setting 9: Positive blue doing
This is the outcome of settings 7 and 8 being active. As always, the doing or acting out in the sensori-motor domain is an outcome of the affective (feeling) and cognitive (thinking) domains acting together. Positive behaviors in this setting include a variety of self-enhancing behaviors such as following regular and lifelong healthy diet and exercise programs, acting with discipline leading to success, maintaining good relations with others, doing things that lead to success, and others as explained below.
Setting 10: Positive red feeling
Now we move up to the positive red zone. Positive red feelings are perfect substitutes for negative red feelings. All positive red feelings are "hot" or intense and powerful. They fall into two main categories: resolve or zeal and compassion. resolve or zeal is an intense motivation for protecting something valuable to society, like a cause or principle you feel strongly about. Sometimes the feeling or emotion of resolve or zeal appears to others as anger (setting 1), but it's easy to prove the differences. For instance, anger (or rage) is the strong desire to destroy or injure by violence, whereas resolve or zeal is the strong desire to protect or support by democratic means provided by law and custom. The other category of positive feeling--compassion, is the strong desire to help or support someone. Compassion is a feeling of support or love for someone who needs help in some way and the desire to assist and rescue. It includes the fear to injure someone, and so it is the opposite of anger (the desire to hurt someone).
Here are examples that can help you better witness and describe your feeling at setting 10: resolve or zeal and compassion.
** feeling less angry or rageful
** feeling less destructive or violent
** feeling compassion or the desire to forget and forgive
** feeling resolve or zeal or the desire to protect or promote something (determination)
** feeling the commitment necessary to do something constructive and effective
** feeling less threatened or offended
** seeing the humor of it and laughing at the whole thing
** feeling some sympathy for the other person
** wanting to resolve the problem and reconnect
** not wanting to hurt the relationship
** feeling trust in the system and relying on it to work itself out
** feeling validated in your higher values and principles
** giving yourself permission to reconnect
** feeling good about being fair-minded and civilized
** being ready to be conciliatory for the sake of peace and quiet
** feeling relief not to have to be angry any more
** etc. etc.
Setting 11: Positive red thinking
Positive red thinking has to be compatible with positive red feeling (setting 10) and the two settings (10 and 11) mutually support and reinforce one another, as is true for the other zones. Positive red thinking is the opposite of negative red thinking and can be used to counteract it. The two cannot exist simultaneously in our mind with the same force. When the negative thinking is strong or pervasive in our mind, the positive is weakened and stays in the background, ineffective for now. And vice versa-- we can deliberately bring in positive thinking to counteract the negative thinking we are experiencing. Emotionally impaired thoughts (setting 2) are skewed and inaccurate or unrealistic, while emotionally intelligent thoughts (setting 11) are objective and social, as well as realistic and accurate. Emotionally intelligent thoughts include stopping yourself from negative thinking sprees and making yourself go through all the alternatives and options you have in a situation, and their likely outcome. These positive thoughts effectively support the aims and motives you have in your feeling setting (10).
Setting 12: Positive red doing
This is the last setting on the daily emotional spin cycle we normally encounter or perform. Positive red doing is to act constructively in all situations. This is the outcome of positive feeling and thinking acting together. Compassion (setting 10) encourages emotionally intelligent thinking (setting 11) and the two together produce supportive behavior such as cooperation, friendship, and sharing. More instances of positive doing will be given below.
Culture and socialization = built-in emotional spin cycle with general default settings automatically running itself off. A common cycle is the flip flop between rage against someone (anger) and rage against self (depression).
Personality = habits acquired in the threefold self--affective habits (feeling), cognitive habits (thinking), and sensori-motor habits (sensations, appearance, and doing). Our personality has default settings of the emotional spin cycle so that we react in predictable ways.
Self-witnessing = observing or monitoring the activity in your threefold self.
Spin cycle = 12 settings in 4 zones, each zone having 3 settings, one each for the parts of the threefold self. Half of the settings are negative, half positive. Two of the zones are about others and the world (red) and two are about the self (blue). The bridge of determination (red) is the crossing over from negative red thinking (setting 2) to positive (setting 11). the bridge of resistance (blue) is the crossing over from negative blue thinking (setting 5) to positive (setting 8).
The content of the 4 zones and 12 settings are:
Zone 1 (negative red) = Feeling rage-anger (setting 1) coupled with impaired thinking (2) lead to aggressive behavior (3)
Zone 2 (negative blue) = Feeling depression (setting 4) coupled with pessimistic thinking (5) lead to self-destructive behavior (6).
Zone 3 (positive blue) = Feeling self-mastery and self-satisfaction (setting 7) coupled with optimistic thinking (8) lead to self-enhancing behavior (9).
Zone 4 (positive red) = Feeling resolve or zeal or compassion (setting 10) coupled with emotionally intelligent thinking (11) lead to supportive and constructive behavior (12).
Note: Try to memorize these definitions so you can reproduce them from memory.
Why do we want to know in detail what our daily emotional spin cycle is? The reason is that we can then control it or customize it to our preference. The coping and successful person learns to control the spin cycle. At this time the majority of people are reporting daily feelings of anger and depression, which means most of us are stuck in the negative zone (settings 1 to 6) for too long each day. There is a habitual and automatic flip-flop effect between zone 1 (settings 1 to 3) and zone 2 (settings 4 to 6). After being active in the rage zone against others, we find ourselves automatically sliding into the rage zone against the self, which is a state of depression. This rage-depression flip-flop is a sociogenic habit we have from our socialization.
The purpose of this data collection exercise is to give you the opportunity to learn how to control your daily emotional spin cycle by going through three steps known as the Threestep Method (see this article for additional details on the AWM method):
Step 1: I ACKNOWLEDGE that I need to gain better control over my negative spin cycle.
Step 2: I WITNESS my threefold self in the negative spin cycle settings through objective self-monitoring or self-observation methods of data collection.
Step 3: I MODIFY my spin cycle in one selected area, and then I start again with another area.
In order to be practical we need to restrict self-witnessing observations to a few samples each day for several days. One good approach might be to decide you're going to sample your emotional spin cycle three times a day--morning, afternoon, and evening. This kind of spread allows you to collect a better or more representative sample of your emotional lifestyle habits. In this way you can benefit more from the exercise and your self-modification attempts could be more successful. If you do one whole week you end up with 21 samples of how your threefold self is behaving. During the second week you can do the self-modification attempt and again, 21 samples will measure how what happens from week 1 to week 2. (Note: this would be the minimum sample and period required. However, for extra points, you can increase the sample and the period. Also, a larger sample can be of greater benefit to you personally.
You can use these guides to help you gather the data:
WEEK 1: Sampling and differentiating
Select one intense feeling that stands out in your mind that you've experienced this morning [this afternoon, this evening] and describe it, as well as the thinking and doing that went with it:
what was the actual feeling like, what was the sequence experienced
what thoughts were in your mind that accompanied the feeling, or occurred right after
what sensations and actions went with that feeling (and thinking)
Of course this means writing the observation down as soon as possible after it happens. If it's not practical for you to write it down immediately after, at least you can rehearse in your mind how you're going to describe it a little later, as soon as you can. Be sure to remember the details: the time, the place, the feeling and its intensity, the thinking and its sequence, the doing. The doing also includes your appearance to others since we are responsible for what shows and how we act in front of others. So try to remember what your body was doing and sensing (face, stomach, fingers, breathing, and tone of voice). The doing also includes the saying, if you spoke words out loud and what they were and what they probably sounded like to others present.
It's best to use a diary book or equivalent so you can page through and see if you haven't forgotten something. Be sure to have times, date, and place clearly marked for each sample you report.
In addition to the three descriptions mentioned above regarding feeling, thinking, and doing, you need to collect Global Ratings once at the end of each day:
_____ 1) What was my strongest stress point today: (1=very weak; 10=extreme)
_____ 2) What was my strongest level of satisfaction with myself today: (1=very weak; 10=extreme)
_____ 3) What was my best level of effectiveness or productivity today: (1=very weak; 10=extreme)
_____ 4) What was my best level of coping successfully with my feelings today: (1=very ineffectual; 10=extremely effective)
_____ 5) What is your current level of hope for the future: (1=little hope or brightness; 10=extremely hopeful and bright)
_____ 6) What was the worst level of negativity or selfishness of some other people around you (1=almost no negativity or selfishness observed; 10=extremely strong negative or selfish behavior observed)
By collecting these 6 numbers at the end of each day you will be able to use a global assessment comparison between week 1 and week 2. (Note: one per day is the minimum required, but you get extra points for doing more since this may be more accurate.)
WEEK 2: Modifying and Re-sampling
At the end of the first phase (one week or longer) you can select several areas of interest to you at this point. These are areas in your emotional spin cycle you want to target for self-modification at this time in your life. It's easier if you use a recurrent situation or activity:
** morning preparations at home
** driving to work or school and back
** workplace hours
** lunch
** talking on the phone
** watching TV
** being on a date
** having an argument or fight
** working on a project
** participating in a game
** doing homework
** being in a class or lab or practice
** dinner
** reading something
** walking the dog
** surfing
** etc. etc.
We participate in many recurrent social settings in the course of a day or several days.
In this second phase you're going to follow a specific procedure called the Bridge Technique described in greater detail below. It involves these steps in your data collection procedure:
1. What was I feeling? What did I feel like doing? What were my emotions?
2. What was I thinking? What were the sentences I said to myself?
3. What were the sensations in my body, the appearance to others, and acts I did overtly?
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4. What was the Bridge I used (Determination--red or Resistance--blue)? What self-regulatory sentences did I say to myself?
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5. What was my modified thinking?
6. What was my new feeling?
7. What were the resulting sensations, appearance, and overt acts?
The first three steps are the same as during phase 1. Step 4 refers to the content of your Bridge. This refers to what sentences you said to yourself to convince you to "cross the bridge" from the negative zone to the positive. this particular technique involves thinking as the initiating step so that you actively and consciously try to counteract the currently observed negative thinking with the positive thinking. This is quite possible to do for most people most of the time. Of course you have to be motivated to do it. Before you start you have to have the motive to want to counteract your negative thinking in this particular situation. Let's take an example--look at the spin cycle diagram again and note particularly the two bridge points for thinking: setting 2 to setting 11 for the red bridge (others and world), and setting 6 to setting 8 which is the blue bridge (self).
The red bridge involves going from emotionally impaired thoughts (setting 2) to emotionally intelligent thoughts (setting 11).
The blue bridge involves going from pessimistic and cynical thoughts (setting 5) to optimistic and realistic thoughts (setting 8).
You don't have to learn anything new in this process of crossing the bridge. You already function well in all 12 settings of the spin cycle as this is part of your socialization learning. What you need to do now is to get yourself to increase activity in the positive thinking zone. While you're in a state of anger or rage, the negative thinking receives strong support from the negative feeling, and your mind is very active in those two spin cycle settings (2 and 3). All sorts of reasons come into your conscious awareness to justify your anger, to vent, to retaliate. Nevertheless it is possible to motivate yourself ahead of time to be prepared to react in a certain way to the anticipated negative thinking. And this preparation involves knowing ahead of time what you're going to say to yourself when you observe yourself to perform rageful feelings and impaired thoughts (setting 2 and 3 cycle). Below you will find examples of negative thinking and its positive counterpart.
Notice the steps you go through with the bridge technique--here they are again:
1. What was I feeling? What did I feel like doing? What were my emotions?
2. What was I thinking? What were the sentences I said to myself?
3. What were the sensations in my body, the appearance to others, and acts I did overtly?
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4. What was the Bridge I used (Determination--red or Resistance--blue)? What self-regulatory sentences did I say to myself?
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5. What was my modified thinking?
6. What was my new feeling?
7. What were the resulting sensations, appearance, and overt acts?
Presumably, these entries in your diary book are done after the fact, as close to the event as possible. So when it actually happens you'll be first observing yourself doing steps 1, 2, and 3. Then you immediately start on the bridge (step 4) to counteract your negative thinking (setting 2 or 6). You keep track of what you said to yourself to move you across the bridge to positive thinking. Usually this takes but a few seconds.
Then follows step 5, which is for you to notice and remember what your new modified thinking is. Is it a mixture of negative and positive? Is it a rejection of the positive thoughts and a going back to the negative? It's a struggle, no doubt. You try to remember the details of this struggle long enough so you can write it down (Note: you can of course use a tape recorder instead of writing--an excellent and accurate method). The struggle includes the new thinking (step 5) and the new feeling (step 6). This is where the real benefit of the technique shows itself. There is a strong tendency for the affective and the cognitive to agree with each other and support one another. While you are forcing yourself to think positive sentences as a way of counteracting the negative, there is "pressure" in your affective self to also change so that it agrees with the cognitive.
So the power of the bridge technique is that you can control your thinking long enough to invite your feelings to change in accordance with the new thinking. It is more difficult to try to cross the bridge at the feeling level because we don't seem to see our feelings as clearly as our thoughts, and because we seem to have more control over our thoughts than over our feelings.
So steps 6 would be to notice if the feeling changes to positive, or not. Either could happen on any one observation. It is important you report accurately what actually happened, not what was expected to happen or what you predicted might happen.
Finally, step 7 involves the description of resultant changes in your appearance, sensations, overt actions, and words spoken. It is possible that instead of positive thinking, feeling, and doing, the negative recurs again, or even intensifies. the important thing is to be accurate and reliable in your data.
Once again, don't forget the global ratings at the end of each day, as you did in week 1. Here are those instructions again:
In addition to the three descriptions mentioned above regarding feeling, thinking, and doing, you need to collect Global Ratings once at the end of each day:
_____ 1) What was my strongest stress point today: (1=very weak; 10=extreme)
_____ 2) What was my strongest level of satisfaction with myself today: (1=very weak; 10=extreme)
_____ 3) What was my best level of effectiveness or productivity today: (1=very weak; 10=extreme)
_____ 4) What was my best level of coping successfully with my feelings today: (1=very ineffectual; 10=extremely effective)
_____ 5) What is your current level of hope for the future: (1=little hope or brightness; 10=extremely hopeful and bright)
_____ 6) What was the worst level of negativity or selfishness of some other people around you (1=almost no negativity or selfishness observed; 10=extremely strong negative or selfish behavior observed)
By collecting these 6 numbers at the end of each day you will be able to use a global assessment comparison between week 1 and week 2. (Note: one per day is the minimum required, but you get extra points for doing more since this may be more accurate.)
The red bridge allows you to cross from setting 2 to 11, taking you from rage and its impaired thinking, to being determined to make a difference or to do something about it, and its emotionally intelligent thinking. To cross the bridge in your mind you need to say appropriate self-regulatory sentences you need to prepare ahead of time.
Here are some self-regulatory prompts that you can say to yourself to strengthen your determination to do something constructive (resolve or zeal--setting 12) rather than to remain in the destructive rage mode (setting 3):
** order yourself to stop ruminating (the compulsive rehearsal of how you're going to get even and retaliate)
** question your cold logic or negative conclusion by qualifying it: "Not necessarily" or "Maybe, maybe not" etc. which help weaken the intensity of your negative persuasion
** make yourself think of relevant counter-information you've been ignoring so far
** restore balance by reminding yourself to think of both sides of the issue
** remind yourself that retaliation hurts people including yourself and it's not good
** remind yourself that all people have an inherent right to be treated with decency
** remind yourself that aggressive behavior won't bring you what you want
** consciously reject any fantasies of revenge as uncivilized and beneath you
** reject violence as ineffective in bringing about your goal
** reaffirm the human responsibility you bear to be fair and forgiving
** think of the consequences you will have to deal with and how much trouble that will be
** think of alternative options you have available
** figure out a more effective course of action
** communicate your ideas to the other person and try for reconciliation or compromise
** convince yourself it's better for you to forgive and forget insults
** put yourself in the other's shoes and try to picture their perspective (empathy)
** decide to gather more information before you act
** decide to consult someone before you act
** remind yourself that the way you appear in face and tone of voice is a visible message and counts as acting or doing
** act the opposite of what you feel and say nice things instead of not nice
** decide you're going to pursue this without anger but with resolve or zeal and determination
** etc. etc.
The idea of the bridge is to consciously take charge over the automatic spin cycle. After taking various self-regulatory steps, as suggested just above, setting 11 will become active (positive red thinking). Once this setting is activated it allows setting 10 (positive red feeling) to be activated as well. You can witness yourself as this occurs. You will perceive new feelings and motives being activated in your affective self. These positive feelings fall into the category called resolve or zeal and compassion. Without the support of setting 11 (positive red thinking) there is no steady state achieved in setting 10 (positive red feeling). The two together (10 and 11) can now activate or energize setting 12 (positive red doing).
The blue bridge lets you cross from setting 5 (negative blue thinking) to setting 8 (positive blue thinking). Setting 5 is an emotional state in which you try to persuade yourself that there is something wrong with you and you should feel bad. This negative behavior includes depression, generalized anxiety, and a pessimistic or cynical outlook on everything.
Negative blue thinking (setting 5) is activated, supported, reinforced by negative blue feeling (setting 4).
To make use of the blue bridge you need to use self-regulatory sentences that create resistance in your mind against continuing with the pessimistic and cynical thinking (setting 5). These self-regulatory sentences move you across to setting 8 (positive blue thinking) by creating psychological resistance in your mind against pessimistic thinking.
Here are examples of prompts you can use to create resistance to pessimism and to facilitate the opposite type: optimistic and realistic thoughts (positive blue thinking--setting 8).
** question your assumptions that lead to negative conclusions
** tell yourself you're catastrophizing in an irrational way
** tell yourself "Stop it!" when you witness yourself ruminating compulsively
** do a scenario analysis of the situation, writing down all the versions
** reject the idea that the worst is going to happen
** do a re-appraisal of the situation and find some good things about it
** go over in your mind what others have said to you
** remind yourself there's a big difference between fantasy and actuality
** remind yourself there's a big difference between possibility and probability
** tell yourself you don't want to be known as a cynical person
** tell yourself you don't want to be known as a pessimist
** reject any idea that you don't need anyone's support or that you are self-sufficient
** remind yourself that change is possible
** reaffirm your belief that you deserve dignity and love
** tell yourself you want to be civilized and not break things
** tell yourself you're going to feel better about yourself by switching emotional style
** tell yourself you're going to be more productive by switching emotional style
** tell yourself you have the capacity to be successful and your turn has come
** reassure yourself that you are capable and review your accomplishments
** etc. etc.
Every day ordinary activities that reveal your emotional style in the threefold self include the following situations--Witness your affective self (feeling in a certain way or wanting something), your cognitive self (thinking sentences to yourself and what they are), and your sensori-motor (what you sensate in the body, how you appear to others, what you act out, what you say). Sometimes you may first become aware of how your body is reacting, sometimes what you are thinking, and sometimes what you feel like or what you feel like doing. Rarely, you can be aware of all three, but with regular self-witnessing practice, this becomes easier.
Negative events:
** you get somewhere and then realize you forgot to bring something (keys, package, money, etc.)
** you think back on a conversation you just had and realize you said the wrong thing or failed to say the right thing
** you stumble
** you drop something or unintentionally break something
** you put your shirt or pants on backward and have to try again
** you are in physical pain (for any number of possible sources)
** you can't fall asleep
** your supervisor at work, co-worker, or client, treats you bad
** you're late for work, or class, or an appointment
** you put the new batteries in the flashlight facing the wrong way so you have to do it again
** you just found out someone has been saying unfair things about you behind your back
** your flight was just canceled
** a driver insulted you on your way over somewhere
** you lost money gambling
** someone close to you just died
** you're stuck waiting in a slow line
** someone doesn't treat you right (service person or friend)
** etc. etc.
Positive events:
** you find out you won something (prize, award, promotion, degree)
** someone you admire said he or she admires you
** you serve a customer and the person shows gratitude and appreciation
** you come for some service and you're very satisfied
** you try hard at finishing something and you accomplish it
** you're watching your favorite entertainment person or activity
** you're with someone you like or love
** you wake up rested
** you're finally finished with visiting the dentist for awhile
** you're doing your workout routine and feeling good about yourself
** you just finished a conversation and are pleased at the way it went
** you found something you thought was lost
** you got lots of compliments and support at some event
** etc. etc.
Step 1: Acknowledge
You need to recognize when
you're experiencing a rage episode. As soon as you recognize that it's happening, you need
to acknowledge to yourself by thinking a sentence of acknowledgment like "I'm having
another rage episode" or "I'm raging" etc. You need to use the word
"rage" -- if against others; if against self, it is called depression to make
sure that that's what you're acknowledging. This takes only a second or fraction of
second, but without this, the second and third steps are not really available to you.
Step 2: Witness
You need to become consciously aware of three
elements of your rage episode: your sensorimotor behavior that is visible to others; your
cognitive behavior--what you're thinking; and your affective behavior--what you're
feeling. This can take a few seconds or a couple of minutes.
You witness or monitor your sensorimotor behavior (doing) by focusing on your body position and appearance: What facial expression are you making or can be seen by others? Are you gripping something, making a fist, or trembling? Are you breathing fast and raising your voice making it harsh or mean? Is your stomach cramping? Do you break out in sweat?
You witness or monitor your cognitive behavior by focusing on your thinking: What are your thoughts right then and there? Tune into them. Sometimes you need to make yourself think in sentences as if you're explaining to yourself what you're thinking. This is easy to do and an excellent technique for increasing self-awareness generally.
You witness or monitor your affective behavior by focusing on your feeling: What are you feeling? How unpleasant or annoying is it? Ask yourself what do I feel like doing at this very moment? What impulses are you experiencing? What are you motivated to do? What are you fearing? What gives you relief? Do not confuse your thinking and your feeling--they are different forms of behaving or experiencing.
Step 3: Modify
You need to consciously modify all three
elements of your rage. You modify your sensorimotor behavior
first. Fix your face and your stance, stop gripping or fisting, relax your body and regain
control over your breathing and voice. This may take a minute or two. In the meantime you
need to focus on the cognitive and affective domains. Be sure to continue the
self-modification process of your sensorimotor behavior and not interrupt it while you're
throwing your focus over to your cognitive domain.
You modify your cognitive behavior by interrupting the thinking routines circling in your mind. You do this by contradicting and interrupting the rage or depression thoughts. Often these rage thoughts sequence themselves in series, then recycle. We are familiar with it when we are venting, or someone we listen to is venting. It involves reasoning in a way that makes you right and the others wrong. Over and over again, almost like an obsession. This must be contradicted and interrupted. Tell yourself that emotional intelligence and rationality will keep you safe and reduce the annoyance time and severity. Act like you're disbelieving yourself when your thoughts are negative or violent, and act like you're really believing the opposite, which is rational and good.
As you're wrestling with your cognitive self, be sure to continue modifying your sensorimotor self. Also, while you're modifying both the sensorimotor and the cognitive, you need to start modifying the affective without interrupting or forgetting the other two. Finally, all three domains of the self must be modified simultaneously or else you again lose grip of your emotions and behavior.
You modify your affective behavior by invoking a higher affect or motive. All our affective behaviors or feelings are arranged in a hierarchy of domination. Our highest, deepest, or strongest loves dominate the lesser loves. This is why all our goals are arranged in hierarchies of importance or value. The only way to control a passion or motive is by means of a higher or stronger passion. Ask yourself: What are my highest loves or goals in this situation? You will find that it is not revenge, retaliation, complaint, or victory in a duel. Rather, your highest loves are to be safe, civilized, and above it all. If you're religious, appeal to God or focus on a prayer. If you don't want to do this, appeal to your sense of morality and humanness. In this way the new emotions that are positive, tolerant, and civilized interrupt and transform the negative affect. At this point you're fully recovered from your rage-depression cycle and better prepared to deal with the next event that comes along in your daily round.
The above are general instructions about the project as a whole.
You must also read the separate instructions for Report
1 and Report
2
See also Rage-Depression Survey Results