Psychology 409b  Tuesday  Spring 2007
Dr. Leon James, Instructor
University of Hawaii.

Instructions for Report 2
Due Date:  Tuesday, April 24, 5 P.M.

Step 1:

In your word processor create a file. Save the file under the file name xx-409b-g26-report2 (replace xx with your last name in lower case), and change the default for the type of file saved to a Web page. Replace the xx with your last name (which will be the name of the folder where you upload all your own work). Be sure to use the exact same file name, lower case letters, with the hyphens and no spaces. You will be using this file on your computer to enter all the sections as you progressively write them. This is the file you will upload to the Web when it is completed.

Step 2:

Read all the questions first. There are five questions you must answer from the set given below. The entire question should always be pasted at the beginning of your answer and marked "The Question I am answering is Question xx"

Step 3:

Add a Section called My Report on the Current Generation. Select two or three students from this generation (G26), and summarize what they did for their Report 1. The G26 /409b class folders are at:

Step 4:

Add a Section called Advice to Future Generations. Tell them what they should know to succeed in this course and what they can expect to get out of it.

Step 5:

(a) At the top of your document type the following Title lines:

Report 2:
The Unity Model of Marriage:
type a suitable sub-title here

By your first and last name or pseudonym

The instructions for this report are at: 
I am answering Questions xx, xx, xx, xx and xx.

Step 6:

 Put these two required links at the bottom of the file:

Class Home Page:   
My Home Page:
(replace both /xx/xx with your last name)

Step 7:

Spell check your document.

Step 8:

Now upload this file. Do not upload the Word file in .doc format. You must upload the .htm version by saving it as a Web Page. Sometimes you need to upload a folder along with the file -- see FTP Uploading Instructions at: .

Step 9:

After uploading the file view it with your Web browser by going to your folder on the Web. Check it for mistakes and to see if it looks as you want it to look.

Make the changes in your word processor and upload the new version. It will replace the old version. Check it again and repeat until it's just right.


Your Report 2 is now complete and published on the Web. Congratulations! You have proven you can gain technical competence in Web publishing and report writing. Now your valuable report will be used by future generations, by students from other places surfing the Web, by researchers interested in data or theory on marriage, and by the general public looking for information on this topic.

You will be publishing two reports on the Web this semester as part of your contribution to the generational curriculum on the unity model of marriage.  Thousands of people who navigate the Web find these generational student reports through Web search engines when they are looking for topics on marriage or information literacy. Your contribution will contribute first, to yourself for improving your understanding of gender relationships; second, for future students who will be reading your reports, and third, for the public at large. Your research, observations, and conclusions will be beneficial to others who will read your reports in the ensuing years. Long after you're no longer a student, your generational reports will still be serving the public and science.

Note on Privacy: Students can use a pseudonym or pen name on their reports instead of their real name. Students who publish their reports on the Web can delete their reports after being graded. They can also request to have their reports deleted from the Web after the semester at any time in the future by emailing Dr. James. Usually the request is honored on the same day it is received. Students can also submit their reports in typing, privately to the instructor instead of publishing them on the Web. This will not affect their grade.

Here are the Questions

see new question

You must select your Questions as follows:

  • From Questions    1, 6, 11, 14  (any two)
  • From Questions     7, 8, 12, 13   (any two)
  • From Questions     2, 3, 4, 5, 9, 10, 15  (any one)
  • That makes 5 questions in all. Each answer should be at least three pages long (single spaced).

    No paragraph can exceed 7 lines. There must be a blank space after each paragraph.

    Each question must be pasted at the beginning of your answer.

    Be sure that each answer shows the sub-divisions for that question (a), (b), etc.  You must type in a sub-heading or title for each sub-division. The title should reflect the content of that sub-section.

    Question 1:

    (a) Contrast the four views of gender relationships expressed by Tannen in Gender Issues, Schlessinger in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Coleman in The Lazy Husband, and James in The Unity Model of Marriage. This means (i) briefly describing the main principles for each, then (ii) discussing where they are different.

    (b) construct a chart or table that highlights in a contrastive way the differences between the four books.

    (c) Now give your personal opinion on the elements or entries in your chart.

    (d) How do your own views compare to whatís in the chart? How are your ideas influenced by each of these four different perspectives on marriage?

    (e) Show your chart to two or three of your friends. How do they react to your explanations? What is your conclusion?

    Question 2:

    A husband and wife seem to get along real well together, enjoying the same activities, having fun, being popular with friends, etc. Then they have a fight over some disagreement and they show disrespect and hatred for each other.

    (a) Explain why this turnabout can happen and what is its cause. You must use some aspect of  the theory given in the Lecture Notes.

    (b) Discuss how married partners can reverse this flip-flop cycle so that it occurs less and less frequently in their interactions. In your explanation be sure to apply the unity model, the threefold self, and the conjoint self, as explained in the Lecture Notes.

    (d) The unity model says that men are initially resistant to mental intimacy and to conjugial unity. Collect data to either confirm or disconfirm this prediction. Interview some women and some men of varying ages (to the extent possible). Make up a checklist consisting of 10 items that highlight what the women and men have said about their experiences regarding intimacy in couples.

    (e) Discuss the list and the compare the views of the men and the women.

    Question 3:

    (a) Select at least one student report on marriage from each of Generation 20, 21, and 22 as listed in the Readings section of the Lecture Notes at: 

    (b) Summarize each of the selected reports. Be sure to put a link to the student's report.

    (c) Summarize what they say they gained from doing their reports.

    (d) How do their ideas influence what you yourself think about these issues?

    (e) Would it be useful to teach this course to high school students? Explain.

    Question 4:

    (a) Consider Section 21 in the Lecture Notes at .
    It gives a selection from an article titled "Secrets to a Happy Marriage." Read and discuss the article.

    (b) Are these good instances of unity values or not? Explain.

    (c) Search the Web using Google to find advice that is given to couples. Evaluate the advice given in terms of what you know of the unity model of marriage.

    Question 5:

    (a) Analyze the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Laura Schlessinger, summarizing its perspective, and discussing the authorís philosophy or psychology of relationships between men and women. How do you see Dr. Laura's approach and what is your evaluation of it?

    (b) Find 5 brief quotes from what the husbands wrote, analyzing each one, showing the character of their threefold self. Use the unity model in the Lecture Notes to characterize the threefold self of the husbands that wrote to her.

    (c) Make up a few quotes of your own. In each case pretend you are either a woman or a man emailing Dr. Laura. Then give a brief explanation regarding what AUVs are exhibited in each case.

    Question 6:

    (a) Consider Section 5.1 Sexuality: Love of the Sex vs. Love of One of the Sex  in the Lecture Notes
    Describe the difference between the two types of loves as explained there.

    (b) Go to Dr. Phil's Web site  and look at the synopsis of his advice to several women who are seeking his advice on how they can improve their sexual relationship with their husbands. As for example here: 
    You can also look at some other materials by him. Now analyze Dr. Phil's approach to sexuality in relation to your answer in (a).

    (c) State your conclusions and recommendations.

    Question 7:

    (a) Consider Section 17a. Gender Discourse Within the Three Models in the Lecture Notes at
    Explain in your own words how the conversational style between husband and wife reflects what is going on in the intimacy of their relationship. Make sure you discuss the three phases in relation to conversational style (dominant style, equity style, and unity style).

    (b) Create a conversation between them that exhibits several elements mentioned throughout Section 17a regarding the conversational style of married partners. Number the lines. Add whatever explanatory notes are needed for readers to understand what's going on. (Note: you are allowed to use borrowed parts of an actual conversation you heard or read somewhere -- but you need to edit and adapt it so it fits with this answer.)

    (c) Analyze the conversation, explaining to readers what its elements exhibit. Use the line numbers to be specific.

    Question 8:

    (a) In your own words, describe the unity model of marriage and the mental states of the couple's threefold self.

    (b) Describe any difficulty or resistance you have experienced regarding the unity model, including

    (i) the idea of a unity couple as a higher state of life than all others
    (ii) the eternal significance of marriage
    (iii) Swedenborg's observations of marriages in heaven.

    (c) Describe the reactions of friends when you tell them about the unity model and the idea of marriages in heaven as given in the Swedenborg reports.

    (d) How has the unity model influenced your thinking? What benefit do you think do class members acquire when studying the unity model in this course? Do you have suggestions on how to teach the unity model to couples, and at what age?

    Question 9:

    (a) Make up a game of any kind that can be played by a couple or several couples in a group. The purpose of the game is to teach couples how to observe their interactions in terms of conjunctive vs. disjunctive -- see explanations given in the Lecture Notes, e.g.:

    (b) Describe the game and its theory.

    (c) Test the game with other people. Describe the results and give recommendations.

    Question 10:

    (a) The Lecture Notes indicate that in order to achieve internal unity with his wife, a husband has to acknowledge all the ways in which he keeps himself affectively separate from his wife, or all the ways he resists complete internal unity with her. To help in this self-witnessing task, I made a long list of "confessions" of those behaviors I observed myself doing in the relationship with my wife during the first twenty years. The list of over 100 confessions can be inspected here:   Share this list with some of your friends of family members.

    (b) What is the difference in the way men and women react to this list? Discuss some the items on the list with your boyfriend or girlfriend.  Which items do the two of you disagree on and why? Does this give you more insight into your relationship?

    (c) How can this list be validated empirically? How can it be used in relationship counseling or therapy? Explain how you yourself could make use of such a list to keep track of your relationship over time, or that of couples you've known for years.

    Question 11:

    (a) Inspect the Outlines written by students for this course for G25, G24, and G23 (see Prior Generations link on Class Home Page). Select  a total of 15 Related Links (or more), along with the annotations given, that are found at the end of each Outline, choosing them in such a way that you can organize them into three distinct topic areas, with five links in each.

    (b) Copy and paste the three sets of five links into your report, arranged according to the three topics you made up. Put the title of your topic in Bold, then the five links underneath. Then list the Web addresses of the reports from which you selected the 15 links, along with the student authors.

    (c) Give a coherent explanation of how the three topics you constructed fit together in relation to the Lecture Notes.

    Question 12:

    (a) Select three couples that you know, in such a way that one is going to fail, one that is going to succeed, and one that has mixed components (success and failure, up and down).

    (b)  Explain why you think that the couples are failing or succeeding. Show how the unity model (with three phases) helps you understand the relationship dynamics for each couple. Give specific examples of their behaviors in the threefold self regarding conjunctive and disjunctive interactions. How would you advise them to help them succeed?

    Question 13:

    (a) Go to this site:   You will see a brief article The Four Distinct Stages of Marriage. Analyze each stage in relation to the nine zones of the ennead chart. What is missing in each stage they describe? How could their Stage 4 be modified (or Stage 5 added) in order to indicate even greater success of the marriage?

    (b) Analyze the seven stages of marriage in this Readers Digest article on the Web:   For each stage, look at the list of items provided and evaluate them from the perspective of the unity model. Be sure to analyze them or group them in terms of the threefold self and the type of interaction (phase).

    Question 14:

    (a) Explore the song analysis technique used by students in the 1982 generation:
    Describe the technique they used for song analysis and their conclusions. What is your reaction in relation to AUVs and UVs?

    (b) Explore the song analysis technique used by G24 students in 2006: See their Report 1, section (e).
    Describe the technique they used for song analysis and their conclusions. What is your reaction in relation to AUVs and UVs?

    (c) Read the article titled "Why Britney Spears Matters" at:
    Summarize and discuss what the article says. Discuss the article in relation to the unity model and the three phases.

    (e) What are the social implications of all this, e.g., for you, your sisters, young women. What do you recommend as a way of dealing with the situation?

    Question 15:

    (a) Explore the Web and the library for explanatory models of mate selection. How is this process supposed to occur? Why are people attracted to each other to become a couple?

    (b) Describe the current practices in mate selection that you are aware of. Use what you already know from your life observations as well as what you can observe on the Web or other online type activities that are popular.

    (c) Can you think of improvements in these practices? What would be your ideal community in which mate selection is practiced at its best?

    Back to G26 Class Home Page: 

    Back to Lecture Notes on the Unity Model of Marriage: