By Letitia S. Lujan
"The unexamined life is a life not worth living"
-Socrates (thanks, Dr.James!)
I have never thought about examining my driving personality. In fact, I had never even realized that I actually had one. Don't get me wrong--I have always known that I have a personality. I had just never thought that I have a driving personality. Having said that, the first thing I had to do was observe myself when driving. I asked myself questions about my driving self--was Letitia, the driver, the nice Letitia who sits in psychology class? was Letitia, the driver, as courteous as the Letitia who holds doors open for the little old ladies behind her making their way into stores? These questions were just a sample of the questions I pondered while driving. After much thought, I knew that it was time to draw up the plan.
I learned in a former psychology class that it is often easier to change a behavior than it is an attitude. And in the event that a behavior is changed, the attitude is likely to, in time, follow suit. With this as inspiration, I have decided that there is one major aspect that I would like to change in my driving personality. I would like to be a more courteous driver--someone who always lets others in when they can, someone who always has a smile and a wave for fellow motorists no matter what, and someone who is very forgiving and always willing to take some of the blame. In essence, I would like to be as nice a driver as possible.
As I mentioned earlier, it is often easier to change a behavior than an attitude. With this in mind, I plan to try to do as many nice things as possible on the road (without going overboard, of course) even though my thoughts are prompting me to do otherwise. This means allowing motorists to cut in front of me in heavy traffic with no forms of revenge, being patient with slow drivers, and being less aggressive on the road, to name a few. Whenever an opportunity arises and I am presented with the chance to either react nicely or not-so-nicely, I will try as often as possible to respond in a nice fashion.
I believe that if I were to become a nicer person on the road, that behavior would probably carry on over to other areas of my life. Many people say that I am nice but I do not always agree with them. I know that at times I can be a very mean person. Hopefully, if I improve on my driving personality, then I will be improving on my life in general. By doing this, then maybe I can make others feel better and perhaps happier, even if it is just in a small way.
Another reason why I decided to work on this aspect of my driving personality has to do with some of the stories Dr. James tells us in class about his wife. She gives him advice often--good advice it is!--on things that he should do to be a better driver. It seems that everytime he tells us something that she said, I begin to see myself as not as nice a driver than I had originally believed. Take for instance the advice to wave at people when they cut you off. I have done this, but it has always been a sarcastic type of wave. I am not too bothered by that advice. But then Dr. James' wife goes on to urge Dr. James to also smile! This troubled me greatly. There I was, sitting in class, believing that I was probably one of the nicer drivers who don't yell at people or flick them the birdie. Then this bombshell hits and rocks my world. What better reason could one give in wanting to become a nicer driver?!
expectations. . . difficulties. . .
I am not going to kid myself--I know that the road ahead is the road far less travelled and very hard. At times it will take everything that I have to summon my strength to resist falling victim to not-so-nice actions. Just as I know that there will be times that I will succeed, I know that there will be times when I fail. The important thing is not to give in and to instead start all over again. I need to remember that what I want is to be nice. If I ever feel like giving up or if I feel that it is impossible to be as nice as I would like, I will just think of the stories Dr. James told us about her advice to him. I know that if there is someone out there who can be that nice, I can , too.
As sick as it sounds, being a nice person can be extremely hard work. No longer can one get away with simply being nice to those who are nice to you. Really being a nice person means also being nice to those that are not so nice to you . This is probably going to be the most difficult part of my driving personality makeover. I don't envision extending courtesy to others around as being much of a problem. The real problem is extending courtesy to those who extend none to you and who may even offend you. In this case, I normally would see it as bending over backwards just for no good reason. The person was an ass to me so why shouldn't I be an ass back? But, have no fear...I know that it is precisely attitudes such as these that I would like to ultimately change. If I work at my behavior, my actions, I hope, will follow suit.
My theory is that as long as I know that a person as nice as Dr. James' wife exists, there is no reason why I cannot become just as nice. After all, I am a civilized and functioning member of society, too, and I am capable of change. There will be times when I will succeed and many times when I will fail in choosing to react nicely vs. letting my negative emotions get the better of me. If behaving in a nicer manner does not agree with my attitudes/feelings, changing my behavior will, in time, eventually change my attitudes. It may sound phony but it just may work.
Have you ever caught yourself in the act of doing something that you normally wouldn't do? Since reading the files of Generation One students, I have caught myself making remarks toward cars that do things like cut me off or Mainly I made my observations through self-evaluation of the day's driving experiences. This included taking note of the conditions of traffic, the actions of other motorists, my own actions, and any feelings that I experience. Another way was, in the event that I had passengers, noting any comments that they had about my driving or my reactions to traffic. This doesn't occur too often as I usually travel alone.
I don't believe that I am biased to the point that I am not able to make accurate observations about my driving personality. In a way, I am getting to know that personality and as I am getting to know it, I am also trying to guide it into being as nice a driving personality as it can be. As for other people and their comments concerning my actions, of course I am going to place a significant amount of confidence in them. As passengers, they place a great amount of confidence in my driving just by being in the car. It is only right that I give to their opinions the same confidence they do to my driving.
In the middle of the week, I had a very frustrating encounter. Traffic going into Honolulu on the H-1 East was starting to get heavy. It was stop and go for quite a while. I did not have too much of a problem with this, thanks to the invention of the car stereo. All of a sudden I spotted a blue car behind me, tailing me. I could see it trying to make its way into the other lane and it eventually did. Then it passed me and cut me off. I wasn't too happy about it because the car had cut me off as I was braking. I knew that I wouldn't want to be following this car so when I was able to get into the other lane I did. What happened? The car that I had wanted to get away from sped up and cut into the lane just as I did. Seeing this, I signalled to get back into the other lane and began to do so. Guess what happened? Yes, that same car cut in front of me again as I switched lanes. I could not believe this. I was beginning to wonder if the driver were doing it on purpose. I then got more frustrated and muttered some 'not-so-nice' things and even a few swear words. After I muttered them, my reaction was one of disappointment and mild shock. I never thought of 'Letitia the Driver' as being one who reacted by cursing others. I mean, yes, I do swear here and there, but it usually isn't personal. If it is, it is usually serious. That's why I was shocked at my reactions. I began to wonder if I took minor happenings on the road and blew them out of proportion by letting them get the better of me. Suddenly thoughts of Caroline Balatico's advice on aggression popped into my mind. Were my acts the same acts that I had claimed to disagree with in my Report 1 paper? No longer was I simply disappointed, I began to really worry about how well I actually knew myself.
Another observation that I made was that in order for me to become as nice a driver as possible, I had to first begin by being more aware of the other motorists out there. This meant noticing the car on the side, waiting for a break to get into the main flow of traffic, the car on the next lane, signalling to try to get into the lane I was in, etc. Improving my driving personality also meant noticing the pedestrians more often and not trying to squeeze by them as they cross and I have the green light to turn.
I didn't have too much of a problem noticing the other motorists around. In fact, as a result of this makeover, I have become even more aware of what is happening in traffic. One thing that I was especially proud of was that instead of speeding up and not allowing the Bus to get onto my lane, I slowed down and signalled for the driver to make his way in. I think that this could be classified as a very nice act because I detest following the Bus in traffic. It is always making stops at roadside bus stops and it also tends to lag behind the rest of traffic. Also, Bus drivers always see to force themselves into traffic. I can not count the number of times that I have had to step on my brakes because the Bus was cutting me off.
Watching out for pedestrians was not too hard of a task either. Perhaps it has to deal with my experience of getting hit by a car--either way, I am glad that I am conscious of pedestrians. I don't know how I would react if I were to hurt someone.
Since enacting my driving personality makeover, I have often looked to the advice that Dr. James' wife had given him. The strange thing about it is that although I think about it, when the opportunity arises for me to put that advice into action, I don't seem to have it on my mind. It's like two things that just don't seem to connect. I know the advice and I think about it often, but when someone cuts me off I don't think of smiling and waving. Why I don't think of it, I do not know. Maybe it is because I react out of habit and I just have not been able to form the nice responses I would like to have into habits. It seems that it is ten times easier to pick up bad habits than it is to pick up good habits.
Although there were times that I forced myself to react in ways that I normally wouldn't have, I do believe that changing my behavior is a big step in changing my driving personality. I found that after I did things such as allowing the Bus to cut in front of me, my not-so-nice feelings that usually followed were not as strong and were quickly replaced by feelings of happiness for doing something nice. I thought, 'Wow, this feels good'. It was a nice feeling that I hope leads to other nice acts.
Being nice is a full-time job. This means being nice in each and every situation you encounter. Applied to driving, this includes the residential streets, the bumper-to-bumper traffic at rush hour, and the freeway.
It wasn't too hard for me to be nice in residential districts. Like I said before, I have a history with cars around places where people--especially kids!--actually live, sleep, and play. I am much more cautious and at the same time relaxed when I drive through these areas. I drive at a slow pace and I have my own personal beliefs about driving through residential streets. I don't see my presence as the priority of the district or even the road itself as more important than the things that surround it. When I drive through residential areas, I am not simply a motorist driving on a road. Instead, I am a motorist who is using the roadway of a residential neighborhood. I don't quite know how to explain it. Drivers and the road are not of the greatest importance, it is not their need that is of ultimate priority. It is the people whose residence I am driving through who are of the utmost importance and I am simply a passerby who owes it to them to respect them by not endangering their safety through my driving. I detest it when people drive carelessly through areas such as these.
Driving in town during rush hour traffic can be extremely trying. Just the other day my sister and I were biking along Kapiolani at around 2:30 in the afternoon. This wasn't rush hour, but there were quite a few cars on the road. Since there were no bike lanes designated, we rode along the right-hand lane as the law states that we are to do. All of a sudden this lady in her car right behind us starts honking. She didn't honk just once. No--she honked 3 or 4 times. This really pissed me off. I scowled and told my sister to just keep going. Then when we pulled off of Kapiolani to make a turn, I glared at the woman as she passed by. She glared at me also and I really wished that I could just yank her out of her car and slap her silly. I wanted to say to her "Are you stupid? The law states that when there is not a designated bike lane and ample room on the side of the road, bicyclists are to take up the right-hand lane!" I was angry at her rudeness. Even if she were not aware of the law, she could have passed us. She didn't have to honk at us the way she did. In my opinion, she was just plain rude. Another thing was that I interpreted her actions as being proof that she felt that bicyclists had no rights on the road. Motorists should be aware of the rights of bicyclists and they should respect them. Maybe this is payback for the way I used to treat bicyclists in the past.
The freeway is a totally different situation. I find that it is probably the hardest place to be nice. I am so busy concentrating on my driving and everything is happening so fast that often I feel that I do not have the time to take that extra step to display nice gestures. I feel that as long as you are not rude, that is plenty enough on the freeway. Try not to cut anyone off, tailgate anyone, or drive recklessly and you are being a courteous driver. Every once in a while, when you have the opportunity to take a little time to wave and acknowledge others, you should seize it because those opportunities in the fast pace of the freeway are rare. There are times when I want to take a look at the other people who are driving around me just to acknowledge their presence on a more human level instead of just noting their presence by the presence of their cars. But, I cannot do this on the freeway because if I take that extra time I am scared that anything and everything will happen when I take my eyes off of the situation in front of me. So, I believe that on the freeway it is best to do what you're supposed to do and be responsible for your actions.
I interpret the initial results of my driving personality makeover as nothing but positive. Even the fact that I allowed myself to react in not-so-nice ways is made positive by the sheer fact that I was able to realize my actions. I am more aware of myself, others, and the environment in general.
My successes I interpret as proof that if I put my mind to it, as well as my actions, I can become a much nicer driver. It is not impossible and with practice, it seems to come easier. However, in order to improve, I need to work on improvement on a continuing basis--it is not a one-shot deal.
I interpret my failures in carrying out my desire to become a nicer driver as learning experiences. It is through negative events that we often learn about ourselves and the strengths that we have. If we are strong, we are able to turn something negative around so that we may view it from a different perspective--a more positive one. My failures are also things that I can use to direct my goals. From this, I am able to see that I need to put less reaction towards minor inconsideracies of other drivers and not allow it to affect the way that I drive.
Change is always hard. Changing one's driving personality is no exception. Take me for example. There were times when I seemed to be changing for the better by allowing others to go before me. Then when a motorist took it upon himself to force his way into my lane, I am not the graceful person that I aim to be and I react in ways that I do not care to. There were even times when it seemed that I was changing for the worse, cursing other drivers. Change happens, it's just easy to be confused about when it will come and when it will happen again. I know that in order for me to change my driving personality, I need to work on it one encounter at a time. Each encounter provides feedback on my progress.
As I stated at the beginning of this paper, I believe that it is true that if
one were to change their behavior, it is highly likely that change of attitude
will eventually occur. During my period of observations, my main focus was
changing my behavior. Have you ever heard people say that if at the moment you
awake in the morning you paste a big smile on your face, you will be fooled
into having a good day because you started it with a smile. I know it sounds
like we are gullible and can trick ourselves in such a pathetic way, but I
believe it. The same goes for driving personality makeovers. If we force
ourselves to react to situations in positive manners, our attitudes will
eventually follow suit. When I allowed the Bus to cut in front of me, I was no
happy camper. However, as I was waving at the driver, I started to feel better
about what I had done and not mind too much that I would be following it for a
while.
Another revelation I had had to do with the Bus incident. I know I keep mentioning it, but I feel that it reveals many things about myself. As I stated earlier, if there was a bus on the right of me and I saw that it was trying to get in, normally I would speed up and try not to give it the opportunity to cut me off. I asked myself why I did such a thing. My response was that they always cut me off so I that is why I react to them in that manner. They think that just by them giving you a wave they have the right to cut you off. What I did next was a new beginning for me and great progress in my driving personality makeover. I started to ask myself why I thought the Bus drivers usually forced themselves into traffic. I started trying to see things from their perspective and I think I may have struck something. Maybe, I thought, the Bus drivers force themselve into traffic by cutting people off because motorists almost always give them a hard time about getting in. This realization blew me away. If more people were to be kind enough to allow the Bus to cut in front of them in traffic--they, too, have a schedule to keep--then maybe they would not have to force themselves in as often. Then, if they didn't cut people off as much as they do, then people would not be speeding up and preventing them from entering traffic. It works both ways. I just had to realize it.
Like most things in life, a successful driving personality makeover requires constant work. There is no one hill that determines whether you have been successful or not. Instead, there are several slopes and hills. Sometimes, it can be a while before another one unexpectedly pops up. Other times, they can pop up for what seems an eternity. Either way, you have to be prepared to handle them when they do occur.
implications for Traffic Psychology...
Being a nicer person in traffic is hard to do without the help of others. Traffic Psychology helps us to realize our actions and in essence, our driving personalities. After we are able to realize them, we can start work on trying to understand them. Realizing and understanding are two very different things. After understanding takes place, we can work on change and our reasons for it.
Getting to know ourselves and the driving personalities we have, we are better prepared to begin to realize and eventually understand others. The better we get at it, the more we will find it easier to see things from another's perspective besides your own. This process is, obviously, ongoing. As long as we are a part of this society where traffic, in all forms, exists, we will be presented with numerous opportunities to improve our driving personality. What we cannot do is give up!
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