My Plan
For my driving personality makeover plan, I will attempt to stop
tailgating people. I will try not to let the way other people drive get to me.
Even when they are being rude and offensive, my goal is to relax and "turn the
other cheek" instead of tailgating.
I chose this as my plan because sometimes my aggression towards others
when I'm on the road is scary. Sometimes I find myself tailgating people
because in my opinion, they are going to slow. It's as if I become a totally
different person when I get behind the wheel and I don't really like the person
I become. I think this plan will also be healthy because I imagine I won't
feel as much stress.
I don't expect to be very successful in this plan. I've tried to stop
tailgating before, but I was unsuccessful. When someone cuts me off, I get so
angry. Sometimes I can't think clearly and this vengeful feeling overtakes my
body and mind. To be successful, I will have to keep my anger in check. This
is easier said than done.
It's as if one bad action leads to another and continues on. This is such
a vicious cycle that I don't want to be a part of. When I become caught up in
it, my whole day is ruined. Sometimes I carry my anger with me throughout the
day and take it out on other people.
My theory is that if I can keep my feelings under control through relaxing
and changing the way I think and become more self-aware, I will be able to stop
myself from engaging in the offensive and dangerous behavior of tailgating.
One of my favorite quotations is "he who angers you enslaves you." I don't
remember who came up with it, but it certainly applies in my case. I certainly
have no intention of being anyone's slave, so if I can remind myself of this,
the chances of success will definitely increase.
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Over a week and a half, I made observations while I was driving. When I
reached my destination, I wrote down everything I could remember about the
ride. I noted down situations when I would normally tailgate someone but
didn't and times when I did. My observations may not be entirely accurate,
because sometimes I forgot to note things down after the drive and did it later
in the evening. During these times, I had a hard time remembering exactly what
happened.
I found that in some situations, it's easier to control my feelings. This
was when I was following someone who was going slow (according to myself). I
realized that in the preceding situation, the blame falls upon myself. I found
that I have an urge to tail someone when I've gotten to a late start. I rush
down to my destination, but when someone in front of me is driving slowly in
this situation, I normally tail that person. Once I made this realization, I
decide to solve the problem by giving myself more than ample time to get to
where I'm going without rushing. Doing this, I didn't tail "slow" drivers.
When I did have the urge, I remind myself of the goal.
Unfortunately, I discovered keeping my anger in check when someone cuts me
of, isn't quite as simple. I found that in these situations, I usually end up
tailing the person. I started off pretty well, repeating that quotation to
myself and telling myself to relax. This worked in the beginning as I would
start to tail someone but eventually widen the gap between us. After a while,
things weren't so great. Even though I tried to remember my goal, there were
times when I just didn't care about it. I was able to control myself when
people went in front of me if there was ample room. However, when people cut
me off I get so irate, I just have to tail that person. I feel a sense of
satisfaction when that person realizes I'm tailing him or her. Sometimes that
person will move to the next lane, and sometimes, I catch up to the person and
look at him/her (they don't look at me). I found that if the person who cut me
off looks intimidating, I ease up (revenge isn't important enough to endure any
physical pain). On a better note, I don't tailgate in these situations as
often. I guess a lot of my actions depend on my mood before the
incident.
I think that in my case, tailgating is more of a reaction that an action.
I don't normally just get on the road and tail someone. I usually do it when
I'm provoked. This is not an excuse, because this isn't a healthy reaction.
It is quite simply, wrong to tail people.
This is important to traffic psychology, because tailgating has a great
deal to do with people's cognition. If you can keep in a good frame of mind,
you will react to other people in a more productive manner. People tail others
to get a message across. Whether the message is "you're going to slow" or
"%$#% you", this is an immature behavior.
I haven't given up yet. It seems that I have to work more towards my
goal. I think if I practice this more, I will eventually reach my goal.
I feel that the road has a lot to do with traffic psychology. When I'm
driving I definitely feel more stress when I'm in the far left lane.
There is a pressure and expectation to go fast in this lane. It is an
unspoken or unwritten rule. If you don't behave as expected you can
almost always count on being punished. If you're not going fast enough,
the cars behind tailgate you as if there is a magnet drawing other
vehicles to you. Sometime people speed around you and stick their
middle finger at you as they pass you by.
I believe this is wrong. We have a right to go any speed we wish as the
law allows. On the other hand, it is inconsiderate of those who go
really slow in the left lane. The other day, I was in the left lane and
ended up following someone barely hitting 50 mph. It was frustrating and
I eventually changed lanes. Although it was her right to go at that
speed, she should be more considerate.
What actually happened