Everyone thinks and feels that they are the perfect driver and there
is no need for change. We must look closely at how we drive
and we will come up with something-every single one of us!! I
was just thinking the other day-if everyone drove how they did
when they took their road test then all of our roads would be a
safer place to walk and drive. Unfortunately, once we get our
driver's licenses we think that we are hot and begin to disobey
the rules of the road like speed, run lights, don't come to a
complete stop, etc.. Everyone drives differently-some of us
more careful than others but then there are the drivers that
are too careful that cause accidents too!! For instance, they
drive too slow with their foot practically on the brake pedal
and cause unnecessary traffic for everyone. Those tend to be
the older people. I guess their reflexes start to fade once
they hit a certain age. The worse are the nervous drivers!!
They should not be on the roads at all. When I ride with a
nervous driver I feel very nervous myself!! One complaint that
I have here in Hawaii is that the state does not put up arrows
at intersections until there have been many accidents at that
one intersection!! Why can't they prevent these accidents and
just up arrows as soon as the lights come up?? I was in Maui
this past weekend I felt very comfortable driving there because
almost every light had an arrow to turn left. When I was
younger I got into an accident while we were making a left turn
and until this day I will not turn left in traffic if there is
no arrow-especially if I have to cross 2 way traffic lanes!!
Anyway-getting back to my topic. Most people will say "What-I
don't need to change anything about the way I drive!", but if
we all search inside ourselves we will definitely find
something. Before I took this class, I felt like my driving
was just superb but now I really feel like my driving
personality does need to makeover!!
There are many things that I feel that I need to change as a driver
such as speeding, running the yellow at the last minute, tailgating,
etc..but all of these occur due to my attitude when I drive which is my
focus of my driving personality makeover plan. I can't understand why I
have such a negative attitude when I drive. Conrad's report talks about
how the anger one feels while driving a car stems from something else. I
guess that could apply to myself. Let me explain- I can be in the best
mood when I get behind the wheel of my car and the minute someone cuts me off
or is tailing me, I totally change and get mad! It's sort of like a Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde thing
going on here!!
As I try to figure out what the driving force behind my anger is I
come to the conclusion that it comes from my philosophy on life. We live
in a world that is fast paced and hip. Our philosophy dictates what we
do and our culture plays a big part as well. It could be that I am a
tyrant while driving. Not in general but only when it comes to driving.
It could also be because I don't enjoy driving at all. A lot of factors
could play a role in my attitude when I drive. These things need to be
worked on before my attitude can be worked on. Maybe I need to make
myself enjoy driving more in order to perfect my attitude when I drive.
Since I'm living at the dorms and don't have access to a car I feel
that my driving has gotten a lot worse!! I guess because I don't drive
as much as I use to I sort of take advantage of the situation. I only
drive from Mililani to Waikele to work on the weekends which is a 10 minute
drive and I still find myself getting mad at people. This sort of
behavior only occurs when I am by myself. I guess I don't want to make
my passenger embarrassed or have them get hurt if something happens to
them then I am responsible because I will tail the person in front of me if
they are going to slow (not even the speed limit), I will brake hard if I am
being tailgated, I will swear and make rude gestures with my hand if I am cut off in anyway and
then I will speed around them and shake my head and make sure that they
know that they cut me off. In the past I
would look to see what kind of driver was driving and if it was some big
Samoan chick then I wouldn't do anything but now it scares me because I
don't even care who or what type of driver is driving!
It's so weird because as I was going through G2's reports I came
across Cynthia's report and she talks about how she wants to be an aggressive driver and
here I am trying to not remain one!! She goes on to explain that she
does not want to be taken advantage of while on the road and she was
going to try and not let people cut her off. She says that if people cut
her off then it would not bother her. It is a difference in attitude
because when people cut me off or don't let me get into their lane I get
very mad. My mom says that one day I will do something to the wrong
person and they will have a gun in their car and shoot me. The more I think
about how Hawaii is becoming more like the mainland, the more I want to
change my bad behavior. When I ride with my mom, she frustrates me
because she lets people cut in front of her all the time!! If someone
cuts her off real bad she doesn't even get mad. I'm the one in the car
saying "Mom-he just cut you off!". She says stuff like, "Chris-it
doesn't matter. He's not gonna get to his destination any faster than we
are". Still I'm mad inside because she lets people slide so easily. I
guess you start to mellow out about a lot of things when you reach a
certain age.
Back to the
top?
I was beginning to think that my target would fall under how people feel when they get behind the wheel
like if they had a bad day then everything would bother them and if they
had a good day then things would not bother them.All I have to say
for this section is that no matter how careful you are as a driver may be,
you always need to be on the look out for the other person's driving. You
can be paying attention and once there is someone out there on the road
with you who is not paying attention (which is about 90% of the time),
you are already at risk.When we were first discussing this paper
and how to get it started, Dr. James gave us questions to answer. I will
write them out for those of you who were in class and forgot and for
those of you who do not know what was talked about:
1. Observe myself
2. Answer: Why do I feel this way?
3. What do I have against others?
4. Do I feel that I have more rights than others?
My observations will come later but to answer #2 I don't know why I feel
this way once someone cuts me off. It must bother me because I don't
enjoy driving. I just need a swift kick in my rear to set me
straight. For question #3 I feel like I don't have anything against others personally.
I think that I have this attitude like "If you don't or
can't drive like your supposed to then you shouldn't be
driving at all!". I feel that this is a legitimate attitude to have. I
have to add that if someone in front of me is going the speed limit then I don't tail
them. They are following the rules of the road that's
why. Do I feel that I have more rights than others?
This is a tough question to answer. I sometimes feel
that I do have more rights than others because I am
following the rules of the road. But it is not fair to say that I do
have more rights than others. We are all driving behind the
wheel of a car that we are controlling and we are all
trying to get to our own destinations so I guess I
don't have more rights than others.
I recorded
my observations of myself using a traffic journal which was very hard.
I got the idea reading
Sharla Supnet's report while I was doing my report 2. I thought
it was a very good idea!! (She doesn't have an anchor so you need to
scroll down a bit). It was hard because it was difficult to not be
biased towards myself. I told myself to have a clear mind and that it
was not a test just simple observations. I would jump in
my car and go to work and while driving notice my
attitude and behavior. As soon as I would get to work
I would write down what I did, how many times did I get
mad, how many times did I yell at someone, etc.. I
also had my boyfriend with me trying to do observations. Since I don't drive during the week I observed
myself for 3 weekends which I felt was equivalent to
about one week of steady observations.Since I
started to observe myself I have had a little voice
inside of me saying "Chris, stay calm-don't get mad".
This voice has been going on over and over in my head
to keep me calm. It's worked lately.
Back to
the top?Soul Searchng
As I sit here doing
this paper I'm asking myself "What is the true reason why I'm such a bad
person on the road?" It makes me upset because off the road I am a good
person it's just that when I get behind the wheel I feel angry. It has
to be that I am a tyrant while driving and I don't want to be like that
anymore. I don't enjoy driving anymore like I used to since we moved
from Kapahulu to Mililani. This must be how I am taking out my anger.
Maybe it is due to the fact that I am not happy living all the way out in
Mililani and to see my boyfriend and friends I have to drive 20 miles or
more? No one knows the true reason but all I can do is work on it.
Sitting in Dr. James' class has made me think that when I feel this way
I feel like an evil person and I do not like the feeling. I need to
change this behavior now before something happens to me. Resistance to
change
When I first started to do this paper I could not find anything wrong
with my driving. It was hard to see what my problem was without me
actually being behind the wheel. My next step was to keep a close eye on
the way I drove or the feelings that were felt while driving. I told myself that
it was minor and I really didn't want to change it but I had to in order
to do this paper. Now that I think about it I'm glad that I did have to
observe myself because seeing myself like a mad woman behind the wheel I
really want to change myself. I am the type of person that
will try anything and I'm glad I did. Taking this class has really
made me see a lot of things such as why as humans do we insist that
nothing is wrong with us until something drastic happens? I'm glad that
I caught this behavior now and will continue to work on it until it is
not there any longer. |
