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Initially, I was optimistic and eager to learn new skills; however, after the first day of class, I already felt overwhelmed. Everything that was discussed in class was completely foreign to me, I couldn't even begin to understand what the heck was going on, so I tried to compensate by taking accurate notes...Who was I trying to fool? As hard as I did try, I couldn't understand my notes either, because they were little scribbles.. you know, the kind that happens when it's a hot sticky day so you fall asleep while you write? Luckily there were some kind souls in class who showed me how to use PINE and e-mail the next week (Thanx Sherman & Conrad!! You two are like buttah!!). So after the second week I felt OK, I was learning something slowly, but I still didn't know what was going on. The next week there was another kind soul in the class who showed me how to start html files (thank you thank you Jason!! You're also like buttah!!). So I was getting by, barely , but still lost.
These next few weeks I did nothing!! I was more confused than ever. The class felt like a Rubiks Cube, there were assorted bits of info. and the more I tried to sort it the worse it got, pretty soon I would have to smash that cube and put it back together myself!! During these few weeks, I knew I was sinking in the mud and the light at the end of the tunnel began to dissapear. I started referring to Psych409 as "that wretched computer class" which gave me a quesy feeling whenever I'd think about it. I was caught in the cycle of doom, I didn't have a clue so I felt stupid, feeling stupid prevented me from asking people for help, which in turn pushed me further into the doom cycle. At this point I knew I really needed help, butI didn't want to ask anyone. It seemed as if everyone (except for me of course) was zipping around on the "information superhighway" while I walked around. So I acted like I was all cool walking by myself though in my heart of hearts what I wanted to do was zip around with everyone else.
Then at about week seven "...I saw an angel come down unto me, in her hand she holds the very key.." in other words, I had a breakthrough!! By the way, those were lyrics from Prince's song "7", hey.. wait just a minute, week 7 the song "7" just a coincidence? I think not!! I know it sounds absolutely hairball, but I honestly feel like some higher power came to help me out this week. All of a sudden I started seeing how things fit together and could actually somewhat understand what I was supposed to do and how to do it!! There can be no logical explanation. Now I felt I could actually do some stuff. I found that it was too time consuming for me to view people's pages then go and view their source in an effort to construct my own pages, so I wised up and bought an HTML book (from Border's, they had tons of HTML books, OK not tons, just kind of a lot), but once I had that book it was all over!! Now I'm on it like a hornet, but I'm really behind and don't know if I can make it by the deadline (hey that rhymes..almost, I'm a poet and I don't even know it).
Near the end of the cycle of doom and the beginning of hark the herald my opinion was that the internet was OK, but I couldn't stay on it for more than a couple hours, it would make me sleepy. I thought that I would never really be able to get into it, but now I can almost say that I love it!! Right now I am happy that I'm finally on my way and moving forward. Of course I regret waiting so long and letting my pride and technophobia get the best of me, because now I'm sure I won't be able to do everything I'd like to before the midterm grading. Oh, well.
At this moment, one of my biggest gripes is that I can't do this in the comfort of my own home, that would make things so much more enjoyable. That way, I could do it late at night, while I'm watching T.V. and eating and most of all, I wouldn't have to freeze my bum off in this computer lab!! I swear it must be in the low to mid 60s in here with a windchill of ten more degrees if you're sitting under the vent. Another thing that bugs me is when I do stuff in my files and when I look at it, it didn't work. For example the wrong graphic comes on, or the wrong color text, when the HTML coding is right, or am I doing something wrong that I don't know about? I just re-type it and it usually comes out OK. I think the worst thing about the Net is that sometimes it can be so slow, it pains me to just sit and wait, call me impatient. In any case, now I finally feel comfortable with this class, and can start enjoying it!!