Michelle Alonzo's
Report 4
Modifying Others' Driving Behaviors


Dr. Leon James' Home Page

My Home Page

Introduction

Many of us have behaviors while driving that we really want to change, but don't know how to. People can be total angels while having a social interaction with friends, co-workers, family, and even strangers. But once they step into a car and get behind the steering wheel, they become completely different people, people they don't really want to be, and people they wish that no one else will ever see for the fear of being judged as a horrible person. So why do we behave in these monstrous ways while out driving in traffic? Why do we like to terrorize other people and get revenge for the little things they do or don't do on the roads?

Traffic Psychology! This is the answer. If you would like to get a little more information on Traffic Psychology and how it works, you can check out Dr. Leon James' What is Traffic Psychology? site where there is a detailed description of the concept of Traffic Psychology.

What was our assignment? Well, we tested Dr. James' theory about Traffic Psychology on ourselves in our Report 3 where we picked one little behavior in traffic that we wanted to modify and applied Traffic Pscyhology to see whether it really worked or not. And, because it was successful for us, we have gone into the community to spread this tyeory. It really does work! Try it for two weeks and if you are not completely satisfied...we'll try again for another two weeks!

The Plan

In class, we had done an exercise on possible plans we would use to go about modifying another person's behaviors. And this is the plan that I will use on my two subjects:

    *Get the person's permission/consent"
    *Go out with him or her for a drive and observe driving behaviors
    *Agree on a behavior to be modified
    *Give reasons why this behavior should be modified
    *Note any comments, attitudes, and/or objections he or she may have
    *Have them monitor their behavior and make notes whenever they drive
    *At the end of the week, go on another drive with subject to see if there has been progress
    *Provide alternatives to their behaviors (physical, verbal, and mental)
    *Give reinforcements when they produce proper behaviors

Subject 1

My first subject or "victim" was my boyfriend, Pat, since I get really disgusted with the way he drives on the road. If I didn't have to pick only one behavior to modify, I'd choose to do a complete makeover on his driving tactics and irritating behaviors. But since I have to choose only one driving behavior to work on, I chose to modify his terrible behavior of speeding up when he sees someone trying to get ahead of him in his lane, whether they signal or not.

On the day that we first got this assignment, I knew right away that I would try it on my boyfriend. And since we ride together everyday, I decided to observe his driving on our way home. I told him that I had an assignment for my class and it was a part of my grade to observe and try to modify two people's driving behaviors. I asked him if I could use him as one of my subjects. He kind of hesitated but finally agreed. Then there was silence. After a few minutes he said, "Why did you pick me? Is something wrong with the way I drive?" I just said, "Well, I'll let you know when we get home." And we left it at that.

When we finally got home, he had completely forgotten about it and we went about our activities of changing clothes, taking a shower, eating. Then, in the middle of dinner, I finally told him that I found a behavior that I wanted to change. He got defensive and said, "When?!!!" I said, "I've noticed it a lot. You always speed up when someone tries to get in front of you in your lane, even if they signal." His answer was, "Because, they're gonna drive so slow!" We got into an argument, and that ended the conversation.

Before I describe what happened next, let me describe to you exactly what he does to these poor souls on the roads who probably mean no harm to him, but are just trying to get to their destination. Pat is one of those people that like to terrorize other people, sometimes just for the fun of it. But most of the time, he does this because some other driver has upset him in some way by the way he or she was driving. Maybe he got cut off or someone was tailgating him. But once he is upset, believe me, all other drivers had better watch out!

Anyway, what he does is he leaves a large gap between himself and the car ahead of him, mainly to avoid having to break so quickly. Well, I guess that is one good quality about his driving. But, when he notices someone trying to get into the lane without signalling, or even if they do signal, he purposely speeds up and tries to keep the other guy in the other lane and make that driver get into the lane behind him. Now, I see no purpose in that, especially since I have become more conscious of my driving behaviors. I just think that he does that for revenge on another driver that had pissed him off earlier. Whatever the reason, it is very dangerous for him and the other driver. What if the other driver decided to enter the lane anyway? That would cause an accident. And it would be dangerous for the other driver because if he were to be very close to the car in front of him and had to slam on his brakes because he couldn't get into the other lane, he may brake too late and hit the car in front of him.

Day 2

Well, he was still upset at the way I was criticizing his driving. I stated that I was just observing his driving. Still he argued with me about it. I said, "How do you expect to change your driving behavior if you don't acknowledge that you have a problem?" He stated, "I can change if I want to. And I don't know if I want to." he was being stubborn about it so, to persuade him, I said, "Do it for me. I need it for my grade." With a moment of hesitation, he finally said, "Okay." He had finally given in!

So, as he drove to work this second day, we talked occasionally and listened to the radio at the same time. I quietly observed his driving and nothing got him upset. Everyone was driving the way he'd want them to, until we got off the freeway and a car tried to get in front of him. He sped up to prevent the other car from getting into his lane. He didn't notice what he had just done because it came so naturally. I didn't say a word.

When we reached the parking lot of his work place and he turned off the ignition, I turned to him and looked him in the eye. He looked at me and said, "What? What now?!!!" I pointed out that he had prevented the other car from getting into his lane by speeding up. He denied it at first. Then he thought about if for a while and finally realized what he had done. He immediately apologized but I told him that he had to really think about his driving and not do it unconsciously. He began to say, "I was, but..." when I cut him off. I told him there are no excuses and he should pay more attention and not be on cruise control. he looked as if he wanted to argue his point, but agreed with me instead.

On the way home that day, he seemed like he was in a neutral mood. So, again, I watched his mood and driving. Because everyone tries to get home quickly in the afternoon rush, all kinds of people were driving recklessly, especially on a Friday afternoon. He was beginning to get angry and started to brake harder, drive faster, and give people dirty looks. I thought, "uh-oh! Here we go!" I just whispered, "Relax" and immediately his face changed from a crinkled forehead to a more relaxed appearance. I talked him through it. I told him that getting angry is not worth it. I told him that when he gets angry, he should think about how he drives and realize that people also prevent him from getting into their lanes. We are religious, so I told him to think of God, and how he wants us to be good to other people regardless of what they do to us.

While we talked in the car, I believe I counted about three cars that went ahead of us in our lane. Pat didn't speed up at all when others tried to get in ahead of us. I continued to tell him about Dr. James' theory for Traffic Psychology. I also informed him that it takes practice to control your own behaviors. Traffic Psychology was the topic of our conversation for dinner also. He asked me about the class and I couldn't believe how interested he was. I even showed him the Traffic Psychology sites and he said it seemed like a good idea.

The Weekend

Pat and I hardly ride together on weekends so I told him to practice altering his angry thoughts that surfaced while he was driving. I also mentioned that, even when he is not angry, he should pay attention to his driving because these behaviors also seem to appear when he is not angry. The I told him to let me know how it goes, and to be truthful when he tells me about it.

On Sunday, as he drove to church, there was not much traffic and no one cut in front of him. So, I asked him how his driving went on Saturday. He explained that his mother made him angry before he left, which caused him to be upset while he was driving to his destination. Then when he was on the freeway and someone tried to cut him off, he began to speed up. He realized what he had just done, but it was too late to turn back. He admitted that he felt bad about doing that but he said he tried to make up for it by letting another driver into his lane later. I told him that he was making progress and he should continue to monitor his behavior.

Day 5

That Monday, I promised him I wouldn't say anything to him about his driving until we got to his work place. He wanted to show me his progress. So, I noticed he tried to keep a smile on his face to help him keep a positive attitude. We talked along the way and he was doing really well. Then at one point, there was not talking except for the radio. Then a car tried to get into his lane but he sped up just a little to keep the car out of his lane. I didn't say anything. Then, within seconds, he slowed down to let the car in. He looked over at me and smiled. I acknowledged what he had done and without saying a word, I just smiled.

At his work place, I told him that he was well on his way to being a better driver. I asked him what he thought about when he changed his mind about letting the other car get in ahead of us. He said that he thought about being a good person and that being safe is better than getting angry and acting on his anger. He said it was more than that. He felt it was a spiritual experience that helped him and his inner self.

Thoughts & Predictions

The next few days, and even now, Pat has been driving better and even seemed a little happier. I know it seems like such a short time to have mastered this concept of Traffic Psychology but I notice the changes already. And it seems like he's also trying to alter other bad habits that he has when he is driving.

I think that if he continues to practice monitoring his thoughts and feelings he will become a better driver. From time to time I still notice that he prevents other people from getting into his lane, but he quickly slows down. I can't be sure whether he is learning the technique or if he is doing it just for me, but I feel that if he continues to apply it when I'm in the car, hopefully it will carry over to when I'm not in the car.

Analysis

He had a lot of resistance at the beginning. We even argued about it. But my persistence to change his behaviors, and occasional nagging, helped him to see that if he continues to drive the way he had been before I introduced him to Traffic Psychology, it would have caught up with him and, by then, it would have been too late.

I think his resistance was due to his pride. he really thought it was okay to be an aggressive driver because if he wasn't, he thought he'd be manipulated. But I think the other part was that he had been driving that way for so long that it was hard to change the "routine" he had developed over the years.

What I think really made the difference was his exposure to me and my constant encouragement. Because I'm with him every day, that probably explains why he realized the way he was driving and changed so quickly. And I still do tell him about how he should change or modify his behaviors. Luckily he has more of an open mind to listen and apply it to himself.

Subject 2

My second "victim" was my father. He is 50 years old and very set in his ways. We are similar to each other in that we are both very stubborn and get angry fairly quickly. That's why I chose him. I wanted to see what kind of an effect I would have on him.

I always ride with my boyfriend to work so I could only monitor him on the weekend. So I talked to him one Friday and asked him if there is any driving behavior that he would like to change. He said, "No." I explained to him that I needed to do this for my class and I stressed that this was my grade. He said, "Okay, but I drive good, you know." We'll see about that!

Test Drive

We got in the car and I told him to drive from our house to Wahiawa to get his coffee, then come back. We live in Whitmore Village which is between Wahiawa and Helemano. So the whole ride would be about 5 miles.

My father is a good driver. I hardly noticed anything wrong with his driving. I thought I wouldn't be able to find anything. Then on the way home, he was on the right lane, which was a "right turn only" lane. I wondered why because we needed to getinto the left lane to get home. Then at the last minute, he turned on his blinkers indicating that he wanted to get into the left lane. We waited for a few seconds before someone let him into the left lane ahead of them. Then we went home.

The Resistance

When we pulled into our driveway he asked me how his driving was. He seemed very happy with himself and the way he had just driven. I started off telling him that he drives really well but that there was one thing I noticed. His face suddenly became serious and he said, "What?!!"

I told him that he took too long to get into the lane that he needed to be in, which wasted a lot of time. I asked him why he doesn't just switch lanes well before he has to so that he doesn't have to stop traffic in his lane just to get into another lane, then get upset because no one would let him into the lane. he just glared at me and said, "They drive so slow in the lane. What if I'm in a hurry and they drive so slow? Better to go in the faster lane." I pointed out that it wasted more time trying to get into the lane at the last minute because he doesn't know exactly when someone will let him in the lane. He continued to argue that it was faster to do it his way. So, I just listened.

When he was through, I looked at him and said, "Dad, don't be angry. I'm only telling you what I think." He shot beack saying that I shouldn't be the one teaching him how to drive since he's been driving longer than I have. He also said that he drives well and that he hasn't gotten into accidents yet, but that I did, and I should not be one to talk about being a more careful driver.

When he got personal, it got me angry. But I thought, I started this and I should just let him be. I just told him about Traffic Psychology and that he can even use it to help himself to change other behaviors. I didn't try to push it on him since he took what I had said about his driving very personally.

Analysis

I did not want to pursue this because my father had gotten really defensive about his driving. In fact, he gets defensive about a lot of things because my mother also criticizes some of the things he does to the point where she makes him feel as if he were an invalid. I guess he's become so used to that, that he thought I was also criticizing him when all I tried to do was point out a behavior that he may want to change.

His resistance could also have been due to the fact that I'm his daughter and much younger than he is. He probably thinks that I Know what I know about driving from him. And he may be thinking that I'm not old enough to tell him what to do.

I believe that this is his defense mechanism in a lot of things. If he is argued with by anyone, he defends himself and tries to justify it by putting the other person's situation in the light like he did with my getting into an accident. I don't think that he means to get me angry or to make me feel lower than him. I just think that he's trying to prove his point and that he'll use what he knows to back up his point. Besides, I don't think I'll be asking him why he resisted so much.

Future?

I don't think I'll bring this up with him anytime soon, especially because I live in his house. But despite this one problem in his driving, he really is a good driver. I'm just hoping that the information that I gave him about Traffic Psychology will help him to think about his driving and maybe come to me later with help and advice on how to change his driving habits.

Conclusion

I feel I have accomplished something by helping my boyfriend to become more aware of his driving, especially since he was a horror on the road. So much so, that I used to clutch the sides of my seat each time we were on the freeway because of his reckless driving. Hopefully he'll take the techniques that he learned and apply them to other driving behaviors that he feels he may need help in changing.

With my father, he had a lot of resistance and I felt that he probably was not ready to change. He has a lot going on with him, but hopefully what I told him will help him to keep and open mind and really think about his driving.

Resistance is a natural reaction to any kind of criticism or opinion one may have against another and I feel that if you can really pe patient, sit down with the other person and make him or her understand the concept, you may get your foot in the door and, little by little, help the person to realize that Traffic Psychology is a good thing and it really works. It's helping me, and a lot of other people, I'm sure. So, try it today! I guarantee it will work for you too!
Mail me a message...if you have any comments or criticisms or if you want to just want to say hi!