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http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/updates/aihara/forum%20files/g14forum2.htm
Daniel1978 01/24/01 11:02 AM Classroom Rage From A New Perspective
This semester I decided to take Psy 408. Psy 408 is a class where
you (as an undergrad) teach an "Active Learning" class that students
take in conjunction with psy 100. So far, this is proving to be an excellent
experience except for one thing that makes me RAGE. When the class is aked a
question and no one answers. This makes the rest of the class seem slow and
uninteresting. If students participate and get into the class, things go much
more quickly. Their behavior is understandable. Who wants to stick out in a
crowd? Who wants to say the wrong answer in front of the whole class? Oh, well.
The only thing we can do is to try to keep the class fun and interesting so
students WANT to participate. Is anyone else taking this course? Is anyone else
having this problem?
meow24 01/24/01 6:25 PM veterinarian rage
I got two kittens (four weeks old) five months ago. Unfortunately, one of the kittens has a handicap. She has a neurological condition that makes her shake the bottom half of her body whenever she walks or runs. When I got her from a lady who was giving away her kittens for free in front of Pet Store, she told me that the symptom would go away once she gets her vaccination shots, but when I took her to a doctor, she told me that the condition was permanent and the kitten might not even be able to live long.The first two months were the worst period of my kitten's life. Btw, my kitten's name is Deedee. Deedee would cry out all day from the pain so often that sometimes I thought about putting her to sleep for good because I felt so sorry for her. But whenever I thought about taking her to the hospital, my mom and my sister stopped me.Thanks to my mom and sister, Deedee is doing much better now and she doesn't seem to be in pain anymore. She still shakes and has hard time walking, but she eats and plays well with her brother.Since she was doing better I took her to the hospital to get some tests on her. I took her there for vaccination before, but she screamed and resisted too much, so the doctor gave up.Doctor recommended that I get her blood tested, so I did. When Deedee came back home, she wasn't feeling well and she started to cough. I called the doctor next day and asked her if anything was wrong with her. She told me that some cats could get infection from withdrawing their blood out. I was so mad that she didn't tell me this before she took out blood from Deedee. She told me to bring her in if she keeps on coughing, but luckily, Deedee got better next day.Two days after the doctor's visit, the doctor was supposed to call me for the blood test result. I waited till the end of the office hour, but she didn't call me, so I called her. The receptionist told me that she has already left the office and asked me if I wanted her to call me back tomorrow morning. I was mad at the doctor but I told the receptionist that I would call back the next day.I called her the next morning wondering how the results came out but the receptionist told me that the doctor was with a client and she will have her call me back. Again, she didn't call me back that day.I was getting really mad. Because I paid $150 for this blood test and this lady wasn't returning my calls.Every time I called the office, she was either out or with patients. After calling her about five times, I finally talked to her and she told me that results came out ok and if I wanted to talk to her about the result in more detail, I should come and see her.So I went to see the doctor to discuss the result although she told me Deedee seemed fine. When I went to the office, she was already gone AGAIN and her husband, who is also veterinarian, talked to me about the results. There were some irregularly high and low numbers in her blood test, but he said they were not too serious and I don't need to worry.But I wasn't concerned about the results anymore. I was so mad at the doctor. I wanted to blame someone else, but I couldn't take it out on her husband or the receptionist. So as I walked out of the office, I promised myself I would never go back to that hospital!!!
MAX676
01/24/01 6:42 PM Poll Question: Why
do we sometimes think we are 'untouchable'.
One morning when I was driving near Kaiser
High School with my sister, a high school student was trying to hurry up to get
to school because he was late. He was going at least 60 mph in a 35 mph zone in
his fancy sports car while I was driving the speed limit. I wanted to change
lanes, the lane that he was in. I did a 'head check' and I switched into his
lane, and after I switched lanes I realized that he was going a lot faster than
it had seemed. I didn't want him to hit me so I moved back into the other lane.
But it turned out that he was thinking the same way I was thinking. He thought
he was 'untouchable' so he tried to go around me. He saw me enter his lane and
so he tried to go around me, but at the same time I thought he was driving very
quickly so I got out of that lane. We were both in the smae lane and he was
going to hit my rear bumper, but before it could happen I did another lane
change, and he stayed in that lane. There was no accident, but it was quite a
scare. teenage rage View Poll Results
ktootree
01/24/01 7:35 PM explosion
One afternoon, I had my sister and cousin
with me when I went to the eye doctor. They waited in the car while I was in
the office. When I came out, an old man in his car was stalled in a position
where he almost blocked me in. Luckily, I had enough space to reverse out of my
stall. When I was slowly reversing, a car (going in the direction I was to go)
didn稚 know the man was stalled,
came and blocked me in. After a minute, she realized I was trying to reverse
out and that the other car was stalled. The lady reversed her car so I could
come out. By that time other cars behind her had to reverse too. When I was
half way out of my stall, a line of cars from the opposite direction formed,
but I still had space to reverse all the way out, but then, a lady in a van
decided to come into our crowded narrow path and blocked me from reversing
anymore. I tried to go back into my stall, but the stall was so narrow to begin
with and the old man痴 car was too close to my
front bumper that I couldn稚 move forward or backward
without banging someone痴 car. Everything was at a
stand still and I could tell the lady in the van was getting mad at the car in
front of her, she looked at me, like what the heck was I doing. At first I
waited patiently for her to reverse out of our path so I could go out. Then, I
started to get impatient. Then for the first time ever, I yelled out of my
window and told the lady to move because the other car was stalled. The lady
yelled back, 的 know! How can I move?! This
car is stopped in front of me!” Soon after that, the cars in her line moved up
and she moved. Then I reversed out and drove around the stalled car and left.
Meanwhile, my sister and cousin were in the car and they were mad too. I said, 鉄o stupid. She saw all the cars in our path
and she still came in.” My sister and cousin agreed. The lady could致e went into the other turn in that was empty,
but no, she had to come into ours. After a minute or two, I calmed down and
thought in my head, 展ow. Did I just do that?” I
had never done that before and I was thinking of why I yelled. Then, I thought
maybe I yelled due to the events that happened prior to my episode of rage. I
didn't have a good night's rest, my doctor was running behind schedule (so I
got out later than expected), and the fact that it was a hot sunny day may have
played a role in my 兎xplosion.” I think the prior
events didn稚 really bother me then, but
that last event of blocking me in was a trigger to that episode of rage.
AnimalLover
01/28/01 8:48 PM Re:RE:
Supermarket Rage
You have made a good point because I did
spend a lot of time trying to figure out that store and if it were ever
convenient to go to that store again I might go but it's a little out of my
way. I was a little angry the last time so I was just venting but I'm actually
from Mililani so I usually go to the supermarkets over there but my step dad is
from Waianae so he is familiar with the Tamura's over there so he told me that
in his experience they have the cheapest beer he's seen so I decided to check
it out because I go to Haleiwa all the time and it was on my way at that
time.However, I still don't feel completely familiar with that store because I
was running around in circles trying to find things. My friend and I were
laughing because we said we looked like two idiots in a maze so I'm not that
eager to go back there. I might still go there if I just need to pick up beer
or something small but it's not normally convenient for me to go grocery
shopping there anyways. Thank you for your comment though because it forced me
to reevaluate my anger and realize tat it wasn't really a big thing.
HILUX
01/28/01 3:32 PM RE:
Supermarket Rage
I am one of the "regulars" at
Tamura's. You are not alone in your frustration. They just finished a major
renovation and everyone is having to re-familiarize themselves with the new
layout. It's worth the effort though, because their everyday prices are better
than most store's sales. I find it interesting that you have decided to shop at
another store that you were previously familiar with instead of returning to
Tamura's, based on the presumption of familiarity. You are now familiar with
Tamura's after your adventure there and would actually be wasting your
knowledge and time invested,by shopping somewhere else.
Watashi_No
01/24/01 8:55 PM RE:
Supermarket Rage
You shouldn't feel as though you have to go
to another store just because of what that one lady did to you. It is her job
to help people and if something was wrong with her life at that time, or
whatever it was, she should have put it on the side and dealt with it after
work. If she was just having a bad day, it's not your fault that she was.
People shouldn't take things to work, but if they do they should not blame the
customers or make the customers feel as though they should know where something
is and if they don't too bad. The workers should keep their personal life and
work life separate (I know, I know it is easier said than done). Anyway, don't
stop going to that store just because of that one lady, I'm sure there aren't
many workers like that but also maybe it was a one time deal and she's usually
not like that. Besides, it's always beneficial to save a few bucks, especially
in Hawaii! :)
AnimalLover
01/24/01 7:36 PM Supermarket
Rage
Last week I went to a barbecue and I had to bring
bean dip so I went to Tamura's in Wahiawa and I had the worst time finding
anything. I was running all over the store looking in every aisle for all of
the ingredients and I had to ask one of the guys that worked there where
basically everything was, luckily he was pretty nice so he didn't get irritated
of me. Towards the end of my shopping I remembered that I needed a foil pan so
I asked the lady at the check out counter where they were and she sent me to
the paper plates in their warehouse area. I looked and looked and they were
nowhere to be found and that guy that was helping me earlier was restocking
nearby and he told me they were by the cereal over by the meats so I ran over
there and I looked all over that section but I couldn't find it so I decided to
just do without it and borrow a pan from my grandma's house. The lady at the
check out counter wasn't very nice to me because she didn't understand why I
didn't know where everything was because most of the people that shop there are
regulars.The reason I went there was to get cheap prices on beer but I've
decided that next time I'm just going to pay the difference and go to a
supermarket that I'm familiar with.
BC3 01/27/01 12:07 AM RE: parking rage
I would have to say that some people are the
worst when it comes to parking. They might ding or scratch a car and then just
leave. I don't think there are many feelings worse than coming back to your new
car and seeing a huge scratch on it. Sometimes it's intentional. The other day
I saw a car pull up with red spray paint all over it. It took the driver and 2
of his friends 2 hrs. to remove most of it. I wonder what kind of act deserves
retribution in the form of spray paint? The worse thing is it was probably
something stupid and petty. That's just like someone keying a car. It causes
hundreds of dollars of damage with little work. Talk about uncool things to do.
Unfortunately I've seen them all.
meow24
01/25/01 9:59 PM RE:
parking rage
I witnessed something similar to your
experience just a few days ago at the Ala Moana shopping mall.I was in my car
waiting for a parking stall by Long¡¯s.Soon an old couple came and got into
their brand new SUV.So I gave a signal and waited them to get out of the parking
stall.The old man started the engine and soon he backed out from the parking
stall. When he came out half way, I thought that he had enough space to move
out. But he didn¡¯t stop there. He wasn¡¯t even backing out slowly. He back out
all the way to the other side where other cars were parked and then he hit a
Toyota Camry really hard. I actually saw the bumper being crushed in and out. I
wasn¡¯t wearing my eye glasses so I couldn¡¯t see if any damage was done to the
Camry.Then I was more amazed by the old man¡¯s reaction.He stepped out of his
car and checked only his car then he just went off.I wanted to get his plate
number but I couldn¡¯t see it.I was so puzzled by his reaction that I just sat
in my car and watched him freely get away.I looked around to see if there was
any other witnesses, but no one seemed to be paying attention to what just had
happened.I parked my car and went to see the Camry closely. But I couldn¡¯t get
too close, because I felt guilty for not being able to get the license plate
number.I just hope that there wasn¡¯t any damage done to the Camry.
rie2001
01/24/01 8:01 PM parking
rage
I saw something unbelievable. I was on
Metcalf Ave. Do you guys know where the KEO's house is? Around there. UH
students park their car along Metcalf avenue because it's free. I saw one old
Toyota approaching one of the parked car, that was Jetta. I thought she is
going to squeeze in to the small space behind the Jetta although that wasn't
parking space. But she bumped Jetta and tried to push Jetta out of the parking
space!!!! Toyota's tires made squeaky sounds but couldn't move Jetta out of the
space. I guess Jetta got really tight hand brake. Toyota's lady swore loudly
and drove off. I stopped my car and look carefully but I didn't see any scratch
on Jetta. Lucky Jetta.I can't believe that the lady tried to push the parked
car out of parking space for her car! Toyota lady was raged, but for what? Have
anybody seen this lady?
Number11BUS 01/27/01 1:05 PM RE: Computer Rage
Dear virtual-b of 1/27/01 at 11:14 a.m., I
too was working on a document on January 23 at 5:00 p.m. (and again at 5:25
p.m.) when the power went out. Luckly my computer has features that
time-back-up my work even when I don't as often as I should. Both times I was
able to retreive the file and pick up from the last back-up. Prior to having
this feature in my programs I was devestated. All that thought and prepration,
even the clip-art work, ALL GONE. The frustration is emmense. Defeated by a
silly machine? Who's in charge here? Who is to blame for this lousey power
outage? All these thoughts go throug the mind. Then, I think about how glad I
am I am not in California just now. I think about how glad I am I've learned to
save more often as a matter of automatic practice. I think how great it is that
software computer packages are geared to take care of silly people like me who
forget to SAVE THAT FILE. But, I still don't like to do the work twice and it
still makes me feel really silly when I get to share some of the blame for not
having done so. Of course, the computer is a great tool. Maintenance and
direction are usually under my control (and the power company). Rage reduces to
managable and I go back to my work and just get it done. Stress level goes down
and I learn from the experience without placing too much blame on anyone, even
me. Regards, Number11BUS
virtual-b
01/27/01 11:14 AM RE:
Computer Rage
I know how you feel. Last monday, I was doing
my work in the computer lab on the sixth floor of ssb when the circuits,
according to the lab monitor, blew out for half of the lab. Naturally, I was
not organized and did not save my work periodically to my diskette. My work got
wasted and one these coolboard post-messages, I guess got deleted as well. The computer
just totally shut down without any notice. That ticked me off. Of course, there
is no one to blame. The lab monitor did not cause it, no one kicked any cords
or anything. I hate it when stuff like that happens. No one to blame, I want
someone to blame. I had to write the opening paragraphs of my american lit
paper over again. And the erased version was a work of art, a total masterpiece
never to be duplicated again.
Watashi_No
01/24/01 9:09 PM Computer
Rage
I know that I've had this done to me one too
many times, and I know there isn't much that can be done about it, but
computers know exactly the WRONG time to quit on me. One time I was writing a
paper and my computer just freezes on me, I had saved some of the paper but I
was on a roll after the first time I saved and I wrote two full pages without
saving them. Needless to say all my hard work and all my uninterrupted
brainstorming was mad nil by the fact that my computer chose just that moment
to freeze. I was so mad I wanted to throw the computer out the window, I was
thinking "how dare it do this to me!" But instead of throwing my
computer out the window I went and tried to calm down. After I came back to the
computer I started typing again, trying to remember the things I had wrote down
before my computer decided to freeze on me, not letting me save. After I typed
out my paper, and saved it, my printer decided to not work. After fiddling with
my printer I just saved it on a disk and went to a friends house (thank
goodness for friends with computers). Driving home after printing my paper I
realized that I used the word "decided" as if my computer had a human
brain and could think what would irritate me the most. I think it's interesting
how people think that things were purposely done to them when something bad
happens.
ddestrad 02/02/01 10:56 AM RE: Aloha Friday?
I know exactly how you feel, we'll just hope
that he didn't see you driving next to him. It's bad enough coming all the way
out to Hawaii and not having a car to drive and having to take the bus, but i
can still relate to people not being courteous while they are driving. One of
my few pet peeves while driving is someone not letting you in. I get these nice
streaks while i'm driving and i'll let people in front of me, and sometimes
slow down my speed so they can get in front of me. I think one of my worst
experiences was i was trying to pass this guy because he was going 5 under the
speed limit, when i went to pass him he started speeding up, now i am driving
on the opposite side of the road at this point, so i gunned it and cut him off,
then slammed my brakes and did the speed limit, boy was he pissed, but that was
dangerous though.
gemini-gal 01/28/01 12:08 PM RE: Aloha Friday?
I know exactly how you feel! The term Aloha
Friday is a bit misleading. It isn't very "aloha-ish" to the people
that have to navigate themselves during Friday afternoon traffic. One question
first: did you have your signal light on when you tried to get to the off-ramp?
If you didn't then that could be the problem. But if you did, people are just
being greedy with freeway space by not letting you change lanes. Sometimes,
people just do that to get a reaction and by reading your post, you did.
gemini-gal
BC3 01/24/01 9:27 PM Aloha Friday?
Well I would have to say that this last
Friday was much like others. I have to go to work at Ft. Shafter at 6 pm, while
there is still traffic. Basically I "fight" my way down the freeway.
My latest experience with rage occured when I had to change lanes to get onto
the off ramp. I was trying to get into the right lane and another car was right
beside me. Consequently, I sped up to get in front so as to merge in, but found
that the driver was intent on remaining close enough to me so I could not
change lanes. That driver for whatever reason would not let me in. I guess it
is possible that he / she didn't see me although when I first wanted to change
lanes I was a car length ahead of him. In any case I showed up to work in a
less than perfect mood, and with greater stress. The bright spot of this is
that it didn't get any more hostile than it already did. Then one must ask the
question, was the other driver even aware that I was mad or even there?
lavaflow
01/26/01 5:16 PM RE: An incident
occured in the kitchen
I hope that the person was not the same one
who made you mad in the laundry incident. I can imagine how living in a doom
can be really hard when such incidents are common. It could be a major
disturbance if it happened when you were writing a term paper or warking on
other school assignments. As you write, that kind of trouble might be a small
thing to take it seriously, but when it happends all the time we should try to
learn some ways to deal with it. I often think myself that I get irritated
easily for a small thing and I don't want to be like this all the time. I also
want to learn how to keep myself calm and to act in a better way rather than
engaging in aggressive acts in a troblesome situation. I think that you dealt
with your problem well although the person was rude and self-centered, because
you analyzed the situation calmly after the incident. I certainly learned
something from reading your report.
purple848
01/26/01 10:09 AM An
incident occured in the kitchen
When I was washing dishes yesterday, one of
my dorm residents came in the kitchen and turned the faucet toward her without
asking me if she could use the water for a second. She just said, "I need
to use it." I felt I was offended, so I almost said, "You're
welcome" sarcastically to her. I threw my fork to the sink immediately
after she left, but I felt guilty for venting my anger on my poor little fork
when I came to myself. As time passed, I started to think that I was glad that
no body was watching me engaging in a violent behavior. Then I started to think
about why I get upset easily over a small thing like this. I need to learn how
to manage my anger by adopting a skill to communicate well with others in a
friendly manner. I came to think this way after reading replies to a message I
posted. Thank you very much for your constructive opinions and warm comments.
skyblue 01/26/01 12:54 PM RE: People Rage!!!
I can fully understand your frustration with
these inconsiderate guys that decided to park in your stall. It's not like
there wasn't any place to park their car!!! My question to you is, "Did
you tell these guys that their car is parked in YOUR ASSIGNED STALL (for
work)?" When I read your message, I know that you asked them kindly if
they wouldn't mind moving their car into the next stall over. If you didn't
tell them "you're parked in my assigned/work stall", I wonder if they
perceived your request differently from what you actually wanted to tell them in
the first place (park elsewhere...not in my work stall). Possibly this could've
been the reason why they didn't want to move their car from your stall.
However, if you did mention those words to them, they were downright rude and
inconsiderate! Shame on those guys! I hope you don't encounter this situation
again in the future. I give you credit for speaking your mind! You're right and
they're wrong(at fault)!
TVR 01/26/01 10:26 AM People Rage!!!
Yesterday morning when I was about to park my
car at work. I noticed that someone was parked inside my parking stall. I
didn't think much about it because the owner of the car was standing right
outside the car with his friends. I pulled my car up to reverse it into the
stall but these men just ignored me and continued there discussion. I then
opened up my windows and asked them if they could move there car over one stall
so i could park and get to work. But this totally enraged them. They started
cursing and yelling at me saying that I should park my car somewhere else. This
got me really mad. I wanted to get out of my car and .....! But these guys were
more than twice the size me. So I parked my car inside someone else's stall
until they left.I don't believe how inconsiderate some people can be. This
confrontation would have been unnecessary if they had moved there car one stall
over. It wasn't like it was there stall. It wouldn't have been difficult and
would have took only a minute or two. I feel that to much people are losing the
Aloha spirit and are thinking only about themselves.
mightymousesa 01/27/01 6:01 PM RE: Student Housing Office!
All I can say is: Been There, Done That!! It
is incredibly frustrating isn't it!! But take a lesson from it too. When I
first moved to Hawaii and lived on my own, I learned the hard way about how
irresponsible people can be. I also found that most people really don't care
about your problem unless it effects them directly. And that is the key:
Whenever you are dealing with anything important (such as housing, money, and
school) get it in writting with the name, position and phone number of the
person who is approving or receiving the info. If you had a paper with the
name, signature, and consent to forward your housing money to the said address,
it would be that person's job on the line rather than you running around like a
chicken with your head chopped off looking for help. Maybe this info will help
next time, but I know it will not ease your frustration now, and for that I'm
sorry.
rie2001
01/26/01 8:32 PM RE:
Student Housing Office!
I have similar experience as yours. I went to
International Student Service center to pick up Working Permission for my
friend who moved to mainland. I did same thing before when the other friend graduated
and moved to mainland before. So I just went down there and asked them her
permission. The lady at the office told me that I can't pick it up because the
office never get any notice from my friend. She told me that she can't give
somebody's permission to anybody who come to office. I thought she is right and
I took off. I e-mailed my friend on mainland and told her to call or e-mail to
the office to let them know that I am going to pick up her permission. She
called, and another lady said she will put the note saying that I am going to
pick up my friend's permission. So I went to the office again, asked them if I
can pick up my friend's Permission. New lady was in the office and she said she
can't give the permission to me because she can't find the note. She said the
office need a written consent from my friend about who is going to pick up her
permission. I was pissed because everytime I go there, there is a new
receptionist and each of them tells me something different. I left the office
again without the permission, and e-mailed my friend again, told her to fax
them. And I went back to the office, but the office was closed for lunch. How
many people are working for the office!?!?!?!? And do everybody have to go
lunch together?? Do they need two hours for lunch? I didn't understand. But
there was nothing I could do, so I left again. For the fourth time, I went to
the office and repeated same thing with them. They took unbelievably long to
find the fax from my friend and finally give me the permission. They should try
to organize their communication line and should know what's going on in the
office!! Otherwise all the international student have to come back and forth so
many times.
snowhawaii
01/26/01 2:12 PM Student
Housing Office!
I was living on-campus dorm in the last
semester. When I checked in, I paid the student fee at the front desk. It was
for two semesters. I didn't like the dorm and decieded not to go back for this
semester.Before I moved out, I asked the front desk if they pay me back half of
the student fee. The girl was in charge said she can, and then told me to ask
for RA right before I check out. So I did.However RA told me she doesn't have
money with her, and she would send it to my forwarded address. I left my
forwarded address before I checked out, and waited during Christmas break. But
it never comes. I thought they must forget.So I called student housing office,
and they gave me the supervisor's phone number.I called the supervisor, and she
said she couldn't send it to me because she couldn't find my forwarded address.
She told me to call the dorm in which I was, and to confirm my forwarded
address.I felt something wrong. Because it's their job, isn't it?BUt I called
the dorm and asked the front desk to check my forwardedaddress. Guess what?
They said they don't have my record so that they cannot confirm my forwarded
address. Normally they keep all records whether the resident is still in or
move out. But somehow they lost mine! I got really upset, and told the girl who
answered my phone whole stoy. I think she could tell that I was really mad.But
all she could do is say sorry.I called the supervisor again, and left my
forwarded address in her answering machine. The check still doesn't come, and
she never calls me back either. I'm so upset to their slovenly work. I heard
another stories from my friend. She also had trouble about mail-forwarding. She
couldn't get a scholarship because the dorm, which is student housing office
didn't forward her important mail to her, or just missed it.She told that to
her another friend who was doing RA. And the guy told my friend that they just
throw the mails which were supposed to be forwarded. Many of those working
student housing office are the UH students.Maybe they don't take over the tasks
rightly to another workers. So they can loose the residents' records and then
cannot find the forwarding address. That's why they will throw the mails which
theydon't know where to forward. They are totally irresponsible! Even if I'll
call them and complain, they just gonna give me the supervisor's phone number,
and the supervisor will just ignore my message.Nobody takes responsibility. I'm
still upset to them.
Number11BUS 01/26/01 3:56 PM Campus Pedestrian Rage
Campus pedestrians have ample opportunity to
experience rage. Time constraints getting from one class to another, compounded
by construction vehicles, faculty, staff, students, visitors and...let's not
forget student employees. I find them between buildings on sidewalks, using
walkways for streets, ignoring crosswalks, blocking entrances, even racing
engins to get me to move faster or step aside. I find it frightening to be
suddenly faced with a truck, car, van, motorcycle, moped or bicycle in an area
designated for pedestrian traffic being redecitated to "off-roading"
just to save some time making a delivery or getting closer to a particular
doorway. I have reported specific instances to Campus Security and found the
response time lengthy at best and usually non-existant. Campus has ample
streets and driveways and loading areas for these vehicles. Please let the
walking students enjoy the University sidewalks. All that intrusive traffic is
scarring the bee-geezees out of me.
virtual-b
01/27/01 10:56 AM RE:
Bus Stop Rage
For the most part, I find that the bus
patrons are pretty nice. They wait in line even though there is no actual rule
to wait in line before boarding. They help people out when someone does not
know if the bus goes along this street or passes along there. Sometimes they
even give the elderly their bus seat.
Number11BUS 01/26/01 4:15 PM Bus Stop Rage
Ever get to your bus stop and find a big
muddy puddle to board through? Ever try to catch a bus from a stop that is
meerly a sign attached to the guard rail? Ever sit in left-over food on the
bus-stop bench? Ever find the new construction blocks your bus-stop? Ever have
your friends, or neighbors, say, "I saw you at the bus stop as I drove
by..." when you knew they were going your way. Ever find the schedule
changed and your bus comes earlier by only minutes? Ever find the schedule
changed the very day you started a new 7:30 a.m. class? Ever find no working
telephone at the bus stop? Ever find the last patrons of the bus stop stood out
of the rain on the bench ...right where you decided to sit? Ever try to find a
nearby restroom that is not locked or for customers only? I have! It's a
challenge to not let it ruin my day.
Watashi_No
01/29/01 11:33 AM RE:
Rushing Rage
I remember when I used to ride a bus to a
public school, and later, from school to my home. The rampant, blatant abuse of
one of the laws of passing a bus when it has come to a stop is very scary. If
people weren't in such a rush in the first place none of this would have
happened, to say the least, but even if a person did rush to get to somewhere,
he/she wouldn't get there any sooner...maybe a couple minutes sooner but that's
all. I know that I try to be calm and not be in such a hurry when I see a bus in
front of me, unfortunately I am one of a minority of people. I guess it's
really hard for people to think straight in rushing kinds of situations but I
feel for you, and I hope everything turned out ok for you.
Number11BUS 01/26/01 5:10 PM Rushing Rage
As I have not driven since 1987 and need
occasional drivers I made sure my teen-age children had driver education
through the local high school, Kaiser. Believing this would protect my children
I relaxed and purchased a buick model car for their protection. A carpool to
get them back and forth between school and after-school jobs seemed just the
ticket. But, alas it was not to be so. I had forgotten others did not feel
driver education important. While my children left school one afternoon, another
student borrowed a teachers car and rushed off to an appointment. This student
raced out of the main entrance to "beat a bus" and plowed head-on
into my children, hidden from him in the blind created by the bus. A phone call
to me from the school. A neighborh transports me to the crash. I see my
children bleeding, broken, unconscious, crying, in shock. Ambulances to the
hospital, two back surgeries, facial reconstruction, permanently damaged knees,
abrasions, bruises and long rehabilitations...all because a student was in a
hurry, borrowed a teacher's car with lapsed insurance and tried to beat a bus.
The offending student was unhurt. I was so angry. I was angry at the student. I
was angry at the teacher. I was angry at the insurance company. I was angry at
the school. I was angry at the hospital. I was angry at the doctors. I was
angry at God. I had done everything right to protect my children. Everything
had gone wrong.
kakela 01/26/01 11:11 PM Canoe Steersperson
Last week when I was out on the water on my
one-man canoe I experienced something similar to road rage. My girlfriend and I
were sitting off Magic Island talking story while the boys that I coach were
doing a training run down to Kewalo Basin. Punahou's girls crews were comming
back from Kewalo Basin and all but one of the crews were about 100 yards
outside of where my girlfriend and I were sitting. One crew was more on the
inside and was heading stright for us. As they got closer I heard the girls in
the front of the boat tolding the steersman that there were one-mans in front
of them. The steersman replied that she saw us and to just keep going. She then
proceeded to come between me and my girlfriend instead of making a 20 foot
change in course and go around. Note that the one-man canoes we were on are 20
feet long and weigh 30 pounds and the 6 man canoe she was steering is 42 feet
long and weighs 400 pounds with 6 people in it. That is over a 1000 pounds she
can seriously hurt or damage something with. I would have gladly moved out of the
way if they were in a race and we wondered on to the race course. I would have
also moved out of their way if we were paddling toward them. But we were
sitting there not moving and they had about half a mile to move 20 feet to
avoid us. She still decided that taking the chance of running us over, crushing
our fragile canoes and possibly hurting one of us was the better thing, the
right thing to do. We were in the middle on the ocean with atleast 100 yards of
open water around us and she still feels like she has the power to force others
out of the way. It would be similar to you talking to someone in the open mall
area at school with nobody around. Someone pushing a cart then comes walking
right between you and the person you are having the converation with instead of
going around and then giving you a dirty look for not getting out of the way.
That is what she did and it is rude and uncalled for. I have noticed that on
the ocean people like to play chicken because there are no lines to follow like
on a road. People walking around on the sidewalks navigate through the traffic
of other people sucessfully even though there are no lines on the sidewalk. Why
people can't apply that to the water is beyond me. I think that it is just a
sense of power and control. You are in control of this heavy and vehicle that
can cause someone else damage and that makes you feel more powerful. Problems
arise from not understanding the power and the abuse of that power. Bumping
into someone with your body is much different than bumping somebody with a car,
boat, or canoe. It is much more dangerous, but people rather do that than
head-butting another person walking on the street.
poo170
01/28/01 10:29 PM RE:
computer lab rage
I understand your feeling. I often encounter situations
that when I 'm in a hurry things don't go well. A bus was late on the day of an
exam. My computer didn't connect to the provider of UH when I need to use
internet for assignments or e-mail. My computer was suddenly broken during
writing a paper and all files were gone at last night of the paper due, etc. I
think that nothing makes people frustrated more than when a thing doesn't go
well in a hurry situation. In your case, the libruary guard's behavior is that
troubles everyone. I'm guessing that your irritation was strong because it was
not your fault. However, it was good for you that the library opened at last.
MadHatter808 01/27/01 12:22 PM RE: computer lab rage
Yeah, I can understand. A lot of my work
depends on getting to the Clic lab and when your whole life (or grades in this
case) depends on it, a lot of anger can simmer when you think you can't finish
what you're only trying to do as part of your job and daily means of survival.
Yet, I try to enlist the help of friends by asking if I may borrow their
computers when they do not need it and to be nice to them (like take them out
for a drink or for some lunch or dinner every now and then to show my
gratitude). Since I'm still saving up for a computer, I feel this is a good
compromise. Most libraries also have Internet access and word processing
programs along with telnet for email so going to them during their hours at a
location nearest you may also be helpful. Goodluck!
virtual-b
01/27/01 11:05 AM computer
lab rage
This morning the sinclair library opened a
half hour late. People outside the library were waiting whether to go somewhere
else to do their work or wait for the person with the key. There was no sign
saying that this saturday the library will be close, so we all assumed that it
would open. The computer lab hours, which most were waiting for, stated that
the library should have already been open. Saturday is one of the few days when
I can get work done, so I normally do work then. However, I was totally angry, panicked,
and frustrated waiting for the guard to come sauntering by finally. My whole
academic life this semester depends on this over-paid guard who without a care
in the world finally opens the stupid library. The lab hours should be upheld,
since most other computer labs do not even open on saturdays. But thankfully,
the library did open.
gotcorey 01/27/01 3:23 PM RE: brother's driving
I totally understand. I cant stand it when Im
in a car and the drivers driving annoys me. This almost always happens because
I think Im the best know-it-all driver, even though I know Im not. What bugs me
the most is when people go slow, much worse is when its under the speed limit.
It should be a crime to drive too slow. My brother has a habit of scaring me so
I dont mind it so much, I just get freaked out, not mad. One method I used to
cure this horrible side seat driver thing is to talk as much as possible to the
driver or other passengers in the car, trying to get my attention off of the
actual driving. This sometimes works, but my attention is so easily moved to
the driving once something even remotely small happens.
virtual-b
01/27/01 11:31 AM brother's
driving
This morning I had to bug my brother for a
ride in his brand new ford taurus. The guy's driving just annoys me. The car is
new, so he goes extra extra slow. I was gazing out the window trying not to
comment on our speed. So I focus on this lady jogging and notice that she has a
radio strapped to her arm. She was wearing sweat pants and a head band. Then it
suddenly dawned on me that I've been watching her for a couple of blocks. We
were going so slow that the jogger kept pace with the car. Luckily, I was not
in hurry to get there or else I would have yelled at my brother. The speed pick
up eventually, since he says the car needs to warm up. Now as I look back, I
guess he did not want to scratch his new car or something. But, it is hard to
think about other people's driving in a good light. I just think that no one
drives as good as me.
MadHatter808 02/02/01 4:11 PM RE: Being picked on rage
Sorry I haven't replied earlier, gemini79, I
check the forum once a week to do all my posts then. Since I'm taking two of
Dr. Leon's courses, I have to post four messages (usually I do more) so just
ran into your reply. Well, I feel for you. Yeah, I guess streaks of bad luck
sometimes do happen, but that would be a superstitious explaination for it. I
believe in karma so think that everything happens for a reason. Maybe in a past
life, I was very irresponsible with money or to others so because I haven't
learned the lesson of responsibly, things like this will keep happening until I
do. I take it all in stride and try not to get too caught up with it because
it's only gonna make me feel worse. Your mom loves you and wants to know you're
all right... yeah, her life isn't altogether and maybe what she seems to be
looking for is love (in all the wrong places!). I don't know what to say...
it's a sticky situation. Try to just be there for her and listen and help out
if you can without compromising too much of what you need to accomplish in
life. Let her know that what you see happening bothers you and tell her why
(because it hurts you to see her hurting herself and the family through
irresponsible behavior if that's the case). I know things can get better but
it's hard without communication. Goodluck!
gemini79
01/28/01 11:40 PM RE:
Being picked on rage
I'm sorry about your previous misfortune but
I have to admit it made me smile. I haven't done that as often as I should due
to my run of bad luck. I am twenty one years old and I hardly know my birth
mother. She is a very selfish and self centered kind of a person. She used to
live in Waianae until moving to Montreal five years ago. She went a little
bible crazy and is losing custidy of my two half brothers who are now living
with their father here on Oahu. Are you still with me? She arrived here at the
end of last semester for court and to make a long and weird story short, she
falls in love with her attorney. While she was here she kind of drove me crazy,
I had a difficult time finishing my finals because she always wanted me by her
side. In fact she sat with me through a few of my final exams.Well heres my run
of bad luck; while living with my mother for two months in a bed and breakfast
place a long with a couple who I know was dealing drugs and stealing my
clothes, she up and leaves with out a word to me or her attorney a.k.a fiance.
I experienced a tremendous amount of rage while she was here, but even more
after she was gone because of the way she departed. She calls me every day and
leaves messages because I refuse to speak to her. Her last message was that she
will be coming back on the third of Feb. How lucky am I? I hope you don't think
that I'm making light of your problem. I'm just joining you in the rage of bad
luck. Please reply back to me.
MadHatter808 01/27/01 12:32 PM Being picked on rage
This past week, I felt that someone up there really
didn't like me or had a bone to pick with me b/c everything, and I mean
*everything* was going wrong. I lost my wallet with more than $270 in it and
all my IDs and my cell phone on top of that. I had to file a police report and
close my bank account because I had checking info in there. My bank told me
that they could fake forged checks outta that and permanently ruin my credit
history if I didn't file reports with agencies like Unicheck, Telecheck, &
Vericheck. And so I had to miss miss class last Monday to get all this squared
away. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the next morning, I find
my contact lens split completely in half as if it was cut with scissors. I
picked out half of it and found the other half on the floor when I stepped on
the dried shriveled pathetic remains. I knew I put it in whole in the case the
other night so did not know how this could happen but just chucked it away and
thought this was not my week. Anyway, things are better now... I still have my
life and limbs and am still a happy person. I think all this adversity taught
me to be more careful and strong despite mishaps and to always have a good
attitude despite it all. Ah, ce la vie! :)
Number11BUS 01/29/01 9:21 PM RE: Rage against the machine
Hi Gotcorey,I didn't even start using a
computer before 1989 and I was scared to death of it. Normally I was not
particularly afraid of machines, but the expense and the lack of knowledge
really made me edgy. Now I find I'm fairly comfortable with the medium of
communication. It is even fun for me a lot of the time. However, my dander
raises when I get messages from people who "spam" and I get these
long address lists before the message even starts. Then, the viruses! I get
them from some of the strangest places in the world. News organizations of all
places. Well, I've been told (and I listened well) to have in place a good
system of virus protection (I use Norton) and for heaven sakes, don't spam.
That message you want to send to a friend is easily cut and pasted without all
those addresses. But many people who do work on computer, for a living, don't
take the extra time to explain to folks like me and we do silly things because
we just don't know the implications of the damage we can cause. However, I do
realize there is very little hope for some of us who never listen even when we
are told. An interesting thing happens when you support all the costs of your
hardware and software yourself. Surprisingly the ability to listen goes up
radically when your dollars are being spent on repairs for the silly mistakes
of overloading the software with faulty programs that look and sound good on
the box, or your friend has them and they look cute. Hard drives crash, the
term paper is lost, time is spent re-creating your core ideas and they are
never the same again. But, your dollars speak loudly to you when you have to
decide on computer repairs versus eating lunch that week. Hang in there and try
to notice the folks that do listen to you and take your advice. They are worth
your time and effort. They listen!!Cheers,Number11BUS
gotcorey 01/27/01 3:16 PM Rage against the machine
I work as a computer tech for a local press
shop. My job is to fix computer related problems and such. I have no problem with
this, its my job. I do, however, have a problem with neglegent use of computers
that lead to them breaking and me having to fix them. Don't get me wrong, I
love to fix computers, but I hate having to fix the same ones for the same
problems over and over due to human error. Last week I had just this problem.
One of my coworkers kept installing computer programs on her computer that are
unstable and buggy, things like holiday lights that flash and screensavers ans
such. They are not work related and conflict with a lot of programs. After
explaining this to her she still went ahead and did the very same thing. In
order to fix the problem I usually have to reistall everything from scratch
because the OS gets so messed up. I got so frustrated I had to take a time out
and go outside for a bit to cool off. She just wouldnt listen. I usually dont
get this worked up over computer problems but when it comes to pure neglegence,
I get mad.
kathyhirokane
01/29/01 5:45 PM RE: The
Governor is the focus of my rage!!!
hey mighty mouse! i just wrote my discussion
on how the teachers deserve the pay raise! i am so sick of cayetano, and i was
so relieved that i am not the only one to think that he is the worst person on
earth at the moment! he is only after his own personal agendas and is holding a
major grudge against the professors. he should go back to UCLA, since he
obviously loves it so much! everyone, vote LINGLE next election! we definitely
need change on this island, and i'm not letting cayetano ruin my life by
determining when i will graduate! i didn't study my butt off for nothing!!!!
kakela 01/29/01 1:09 AM RE: The Governor is the focus of my rage!!!
Uncle Ben just some how brings out the worst
in people. I wouldn't be surprised if his childhood was plauged with others
teasing him and all the arrogant and stupid things he does now are in
retaliation to being the kid everyone picked on.It is so easy to redirect your
anger toward another person. We do it when we get stressed about school or work
and it is really bad when the person you are directing all this frustration had
nothing to do with the source. In this case however, Ben is a direct cause of
the stress and with our powers combined we can tell Ben in a collective voice
"YOU SUCK"!
ikibobo
01/28/01 8:34 PM RE:
The Governor is the focus of my rage!!!
I am totally feeling you! I've worked too
hard for my degree and now i find out I may not graduate because our teachers'
contracts have failed to be negotiated! It's just riduculus!
gemini-gal 01/28/01 12:02 PM RE: The Governor is the focus of my rage!!!
I totally agree that Governor Ben Cayetano is
exhibiting his Nazi techniques on our professors. I too am hoping to graduate
this semester and I swear, if I don't I will be ticked! I've heard that a lot
of the UH staff supported Linda Lingle in the last election and little support
went to Cayetano. I don't know if that has anything to do with it but it could
be part of the reason. I voted for Cayetano and now I am feeling the repercussions.
I think the Governor is being harsh with his decisions about UH professors and
staff because he is not being re-elected! His term is almost up and he can't
get re-elected. He simply does not care about anyone but himself. I really am
frustrated with this bureaucratic B.S. we have to put up with and in the end,
its the students who will suffer! I truly feel that UH professors have the best
interest of the students in mind but they have to stand up to injustice. I hope
that contractual negotiations will be as smooth as possible but I doubt it. I
just hope it does not turn into a full blown strike. Have you heard that if the
instructors go on strike, they might put their lecture notes on-line so that
students can have access to them? I don't know how feasible that will be but
any means necessary for students to graduate on time is fine with me.
mightymousesa 01/27/01 5:49 PM The Governor is the focus of my rage!!!
I'm not sure how many of you are aware of what
could happen this semester, but for those of you who don't know here is a heads
up! The faculty of the University of Hawaii may go on strike as early as next
week. Correct me if I am wrong but I believe it is due to the lack of a
contract with the teachers/profs/etc. for the last two years. If the faculty
goes on strike, each UH student could possibly receive an incomplete for this
semester, not to mention how many students' graduation schedules and grad
school admissions will be completely screwed up. I am in that position. I am
counting on graduating this spring and if this strike occurs I can kiss grad
school good-bye for the fall. But don't be angry at the faculty, they have no
choice. If you want to focus your rage on anyone focus it on Gov. Ben!!!!
Daniel1978 01/28/01 11:11 AM RE: total drop -off rage
Ooooo....That does suck...And to top it all
off, you had to wait another 15 minutes.That's the worst. Things turned out
O.K. in the end, right? Whenever I go through things like that (RAGING and
RUSHING only to find out you're early), I feel angry. For example, when I take
the bus and it comes late, I get super-worried that I'll be late for school.
For the entire bus ride, I'm usually FUMING. I check my watch every 1.7
seconds, I fidgit, and I get annoyed at the slow bus driver. When I finally get
off the bus, I feel relieved even if I'm 3 minutes late. Perhaps the
psychological explanation for all this is that when we're not in control, we
feel rage. Catch 'ya later.
shaun56 01/27/01 10:58 PM total drop -off rage
Here's a little rage:Today I was going to my
AYSO soccer team's picture taking at a park near to my house when I encountered
a bit of craziness. I hung a right into the street of the park when I saw a
long mile-long line that was moving at the speed of slugs. I had to get there
to meet my team at the field and the parking lot was at the other side of the
line. I pulled into line and cruised for a while thinking it could not take
that long to get to the other side of the park. Low and behold the line was
moving at an alarming rate of 4.35mm/hr. I waited in the line for about 15
minutes and was totally getting irritated at an alarming rate also. It took me
another 15 minutes till I finally gotto the other side of the field, where the
parking was. What I found there was the most stupidious thing I had ever seen.
There was a sign that said DROP-OFF ONLY!!! I sat there for a second and took a
deep breath, and said some of the few words that I would not dare to repeat on
this message board. In other words, I blew into total drop-off rage and sped
around to the other side of the field to scurry for a parking. When I finally
got a parking, of course, I was late! I ran and met my team, and had to wait
yet again to take pictures for another 15 minutes. I guess I was expecting a
parking place for parking, but when it had turned out not as believed, I lost
it. I think my rage was furthered by my speeding after. I know I was wrong, but
I was late as hell because of it. WHAT A DAY at the picture taking.
PHYRE2001 01/30/01 12:41 PM RE: SWR #1: I almost hit a biker!
AAAHH!!
I know exactly what you are refering to. I
personally did not almost hit a biker, but I was in the car when my friend
almost did. There is a catch however, the biker was not as nice as the lady
seemed to be to you. And, honeslty, I personally do not think that my friend
came close to hitting the biker. It is an everyday situation, you know the one
where you begin to yeild your vechile when approaching a red stop light. You
don't completely stop however because you know that your about to make a right
turn. Then you see a person, in this situation, a lady riding her bike across
the walk zone. Your eyes connect, and then you completely stop the car. Your
car make jerk a little because of the suprising person in the crosswalk, and
you were not ready for anyone being there, because you were plannig to make a
right turn. In this situation no one was hurt physically, or there was real no
intent of injury. But, the scared women on the bike is not so nice. She gets
off her bike, and begins yelling at my friend, what the hell are you trying to
do kill me. She is standing in front of the vehicle screaming that we were
trying to kill her. My friend was feeling road rage, I could just see it in her
eyes. I know that if we were not late already, she probably would have got out
and beat the living day light out of that women. My question is why to people
on bikes and crosswalks feel they always have the right of way? In the end, the
car will always win, it bigger and faster!!
darell 01/29/01 12:35 AM RE: SWR #1: I almost hit a biker!
AAAHH!!
I can so relate to this. It always happens to
me when I am at the mall parking lot trying to find a space to park. As usual,
I would drive around like crazy trying to be the first one to a parking spot.
And one time I was coming around one the corners speeding because I saw someone
get into their car. I wanted that parking because it was the only one that
would become available at that time and also that it was in the front so that I
wouldn't have to walk far from the mall to get to my car. As I swing around the
corner, this guy on his moped decides to pull out from the bicycle parking area
and I almost hit him. He them starts yelling because I guess it's a natural
instinct when someone gets rapidly scared. I think I almost gave him a heart
attack let alone giving myself one at the same time. I had an adrenaline rush
that lasted about 5 minutes. I couldn't stop thinking about what could have
happened if I hit him and he too wasn't wearing a helmet. So I know exactly how
you feel about that lady on the bike. =)
shaun56 01/28/01 8:41 PM RE: SWR #1: I almost hit a biker!
AAAHH!!
YEs oh yes, do I know what you have
encountered. It's kind of funny how people on such small vehicles think that
they have more power over the road than us car drivers. I tried to think about
the justifications for their truly false beliefs, and I came up with two: 1)
they think that since they have so much horespower between their legs, they
have the power over the road right?....uh nope. 2) They think that if we
actually do bust into a rage and chase after them, they can run away from us
faster right........ uh possibly so, depends what kind of bike. Anyways I have
a funny story to relate. Today when I was going to the shopping center, there
was this bike that was weaving in and out of cars, pulling up behind of me. I
thought, okay he/she's either gotta take a mean dump, or he/she's late as hell.
To find the truth out, he was just trying to show off the power of his bike. So
we ran into a stoplight and came to an abrupt stop. He started rvevving his
engine at me so I turned over to look at him. He lifts his helmet lid ( which
of course is tinted) and gives me a funny stinkish look. I smile back at him
and rev my engine playfully. As soon as the light sparked green he was gone. I
laughed to myself and moved on as chartered. When I reached the shopping
center, he was on the side with a solo-bike cop getting a citation. I had to
laugh as he looked my way. And the story is told. Anyways, keep ypur eyes open
for those fiesty little bikers, they're a trip sometimes. Later shaun56
gemini-gal 01/28/01 11:51 AM SWR #1: I almost hit a biker! AAAHH!!
It was Thursday evening when I almost hit a
biker in a parking lot. I was on my way to get my haircut only to realize that
the parking lot was way too small to accomodate for everyone in the building. I
was hoping that since it was about 6 pm, there would be parking but to my
dismay, there wasn't. There was also a one hour time limit for parking and in
my mind, I couldn't stop thinking like "okay, so that means I might have
to wait one full darn hour before I get parking?!" Hence, RAGE! I sat there
in the parking lot waiting for some sign of someone leaving but there seem to
be none in sight. I was irked because I thought I was going to be late to my
appointment. Anyway, after several minutes, I saw someone's reverse light come
on and there I went. I was charging to that parking spot like a bull to its
target! I thought to myself "hurry up or someone else will take it!"
even though there wasn't anyone else waiting for parking. I swear the paranoia
kicks in when you are desperate for parking!! So I made a swift right turn and
to my surprise, a woman on her two-wheel bike comes darting out of nowhere! I
slammed on my brakes suddenly and the screech of my car echoed throughout the
parking lot! The barbers from the salon could even hear the pulsing screech!
Both the woman on the bike and I were momentarily silenced and shocked. I was
about less than a feet away of hitting her and she would have been thrown off
her bike. The WORST part about the entire incident was that she WAS NOT wearing
a helmet! Why don't people obey the darn LAW? I don't understand it! I could
have done some serious damage to that woman if I hit her even if I was going
only 15-20 mph. Fortunately, I didn't. We both got away without getting
physically hurt but not mentally. I was still shaken and upset by the incident
when I entered the salon. I guess when people are so dead set on getting
parking, their range of vision decreases. I SWEAR I DID NOT SEE THAT LADY! I
don't even know if she saw me. But luckily, God was on our side that day and
left us unharmed. gemini-gal
HILUX
01/28/01 2:26 PM The
Emotionally Short-Order Cook
This incident of workplace rage took place on
01/16/01 in the bar at the Honolulu Interisland Terminal.My friend, Kawika, and
I were in the bar waiting for our departure. Kawika was hungry, so he ordered
some food "to-go", planning on eating it on the plane. The waitress
brought the food out plated to be eaten there, so he reminded her that he had
ordered it "to-go", since we were boarding soon. She apologized and
took it back to the kitchen to be packaged. A few seconds after she went in we
heard the cook yell "Fuck!". He then came out and stood in the
doorway to the kitchen, with the plate in his hand, looking to see who had sent
it back. Kawika told him he was sorry, but he didn't have time to eat it there.
The cook went back into the kitchen and a couple of minutes later the waitress
brought it back out packaged. We paid the bill and left to catch our flight.A
possible psychological explanation for the cook's behavior can be found in Ch.
5, Self Control, in Goleman's book. He states; "When stresses pile one on
top of the other, they are more additive- they seem to multiply the sense of
stress, so that as we near a breaking point, each additional burden seems all
the more unbearable, the last straw." It's possible that the cook was
already stressed and the request to correct his error on the original order,
was his "last straw", causing him to go out of control and over-react
to this minor incident. The cook's quick retreat into the kitchen makes me
wonder if he was actually seeking confrontation or rather gathering information
for possible retaliation via the food. Kawika's polite behavior and physical
size (6'4", 275 lbs.), may have had a rapid calming effect or the cook may
have continued with more inappropriate behavior while packing the food
out-of-sight.The cook's reaction had one definite effect on everyone, increased
stress. I didn't want to share my friend's food, Kawika was suspiciously
examining his food while eating, and the waitress can't be too thrilled about
going back to the kitchen while she's working.
leis
01/28/01 3:56 PM A
Rage At Workplace
When I worked at an office, there was a boss
who was always irritated by something and was always rageful toward something
or somebody at the next department to mine. For example, even though his
followers and visitors had no fault, he would give verbal abuse them all day
long. ‘You are insufficient stuffs’, “You run out of energy”, “You made such a
bad situation”, and so on. As his voice was so loud that we could hear all what
he said. And his stuffs seemed to be suppressed and feel difficulty to keep
working well. His stuffs and his co-workers was patient, because they
understood why he became such a person. At that time, he was about to retire.
Although his personality is proud, but he seemed not to have been able to bring
a successful conclusion in his business life. And he seemed to have no dream
after his retirement, because he has no kids, no hobbies so that he had nothing
to do at the rest of his life. However, I hate this boss, because I think it is
not good to shift his blame for others.
lavaflow
02/02/01 7:01 PM RE: Rage Has A
Domino Effect
I agree with youu that the tension could have
been avoided if the two workers were more aware of what was going on around
their store. But I guess they usually don't say anything even if they see
someone not following the basic rule. I think that it may be a lot easier for
them to let someone else (in this case, you and your mother) to deal with a
person who cuts the line. I saw a couple of times that tourists simply ignored
people standing in the line and ordered what they wanted, but workers didn't
say anything to them...why? because they were tourists?? I feel sorry for you
and your mother that you had to go through the situation that destroyed your
lunch time.
Watashi_No
01/30/01 1:49 PM RE: Rage Has A Domino
Effect
I know I hate it when I stand in the wrong line,
and then after all the waiting it turns out that I was supposed to be in
another place. It makes me angry but I know it's no one's fault, that I
shouldn't blame anyone (although if there was no sign to tell me where to go is
another story) so I just try to be civil. I know one time a lady let me in
before her because she saw that I made the mistake. When she had let me in, my
anger went away and I was happy. Sometimes it just takes a little understanding
from bystanders to help the person, even when some people can be rude and
insist that "they were there first!" :)I hated when the customers
would get mad at the workers because they felt they were skipped over (and the
store was crowded) and the workers couldn't direct them to where they were
supposed to stand to get prompt service.
skyblue 01/28/01 4:31 PM Rage Has A Domino Effect
My mother and I stood patiently in line
waiting to order food for lunch at Patti's Chinese Kitchen in the Makai Food Court.
There was a red and white sign stating LINE STARTS HERE on the silver counter
which is located right above the fried rice and chow mein. As soon as the
worker asked me which choice of starch I would like to order, an elderly woman
stepped right in, looked at me, and said, "I was here first!" Her
speech caught me by surprise because to my knowledge, this lady wasn't even
standing in front of us. There were two younger women waiting in front of us.
The elderly woman cut right in the middle of the line and expected to be served
by one of the two available workers...Pronto! My reply to her was, "No you
weren't because we were the last ones in line!" I tried my best to control
my rage hoping not to say anything, but I realized these words flowed right out
of my mouth. I didn't want to sound like I was disrespecting the elderly lady
so I stopped myself from venting my frustration. However, my mother intervened
by saying,"No, you were not standing in line before us! Look at the sign,
the LINE STARTS HERE!" The elderly lady didn't comment. But I knew my mom
was upset because she told the two workers that they should've spoken up by
saying the line starts here or by directing her to stand in the appropriate
line, if they knew that the elderly woman wasn't standing in line and in front
of us rather than allowing the situation to become worse in the first place.
The psychological explanation behind all of this commotion was that the lady
didn't see sign. She assumed that anyone could just help her as long as she was
ready to order her food. The two workers could've prevented tension from
escalating if they just grabbed the elderly lady's attention and spoke to her
from the beginning.
rie2001
01/30/01 4:47 PM RE:
Kill the witch!...with kindness ;p
Hahahahaha..... good job!! I could see her
face, how she was shocked!I completely understand how you felt. Some people are
like your co-worker. Maybe she also had busy night and wanted to take it out on
anybody for no reason, or she is just a big fat complainer. But whatever the
reasons, she should know what she has done is just not right. I hope she shuts
her mouth and realize that she is a part of the team, you know.
Dahlin
01/30/01 3:18 PM RE: Kill the
witch!...with kindness ;p
Congraulations! That was an excellent way to
handle the situation. You didn't make a big thing of it, for instance you
didn't engage in a shouting match with her or slash her tires. But you also
didn't just let her get away with it either. It was good that you confronted
her in an honest forthright manner. If it were me I would hope that I would
have done the same thing. Usually I am at either extreme, I do nothing and hold
the anger in and bitch to anyone who is in proximity or I completely blow up
and make an ass out of myself. Usually the latter tactic is reserved for my
husband. Hah Hah. Unfortunately he wouldn't find it funny. But seriously, good
job and keep it up.
skyblue 01/30/01 12:10 PM RE: Kill the witch!...with kindness ;p
I must commend you for handling that chaos
situation in a very professional manner! You did the right thing by confronting
your co-worker about her non-chalant and complaining attitude. I'm sure this
co-worker must have felt like a fool when she reflected upon the incident. I
hope this person also apologized to you for her actions. Next time, she
shouldn't promise you anything if she cannot complete her duties on time. She
is not only making your job twice as hard, but she is adding extra stress for
the other workers and patients too. I believe that it is easier to say
something, but it's harder to complete the assignment/task. Your
self-witnessing report reminded me of a popular quote, "What goes around,
comes around!" Indeed, your co-worker got a taste of her own medicine.
ikibobo
01/28/01 8:23 PM Kill
the witch!...with kindness ;p
Every workplace has that "kiss-a**"
employee. You know the one that will go out of their way to announce someone
else did wrong, and in that same effort try to make their otherwise pathetic
life a little better. Well just the other day, that person pissed me off! I
work at a hospital, and we have revolving day, evening, and night shifts. The
other day our unit was extremely busy transferring patients in and out. It was
just a mad house. Well each shift in addition to moment to moment work, we also
have routine work to do. I was working evening shift and I could not just
finish everything for the night shift person. I apologized that I was not able
to complete everything under the circumstances that it was unusually busy. The
night shift employee said "Oh don't worry!" noting that it would be
almost impossible for anyone to do when it was so busy. Well, the next day i
came back to work, some people from the day shift came up to me and told me
that that specific person was announcing to everyone how i left her so~ much
work, and i made so much mistakes she had to fix! The nerve! I was so pissed
off! I didn't even want to stay my whole shift, in fear that i might knock her
out and get fired! I had to calm down, and had 7 1/2 hours to think about my
course of action. It made me more upset because she was not being a team
player. I find all kinds of mistakes, but i don't announce it, just fix it and
move on. So, 11pm rolled around, I just decided to be very sweet to her. I gave
her a complete report of what was going on and, let her know that i completed
some of her routine things for that night. She said "oh, thanks?" and
i non-challantly mentioned that i was sorry for the "mess" that i
left her with the other night, how i felt really bad. As she was saying
"oh, don't worry, it's okay" i said at the same time, oh no, i heard
that you were complaining to some people the other night. She looked so
shocked! It was classic, like she wasn't trying to look shocked. I said it in
such a polite, sweet (you know irking kind of sweet) voice. I could see her
mind going 240mph thinking about who would she tell that would tell me. Funny.
I felt really good that i was able to confront the situation and turn it around
so did not become a sinister person, and i could still go to work in a pleasant
attitude next time. CAGE THE RAGE! hahaha!
poo170
01/28/01 9:41 PM Post
Office Rage
On Friday, I went to a post office. On the
day, the office was so crowded and about 30 people were on the line. I thought
it would take a long time for my turn but it couldn't be helped, so I stood in
the line. However, only two out of five windows were opened for customers,
besides I could see many officers were behind the windows. I was irritated that
the officers didn't try to hundle the crowd by opening other windows. I found
other people in the line also were frusrated. Some people were stamping the
floor. Some were complaing with each other. As being in such a mood, my
frustration became stronger gradually, I sighed again and again. Even after I
got out from the office, my irritation did not easily get away. However, as
looking back on the event by writing this page, now I became a little shameful
that I couldn't control my rage on the day, because waiting in the line is an
everyday event.
ktootree
02/03/01 2:26 AM RE:
stupid drivers
I have also encountered those drivers who cut
so close to you when switching lanes. Similar to you, usually my immediate
reaction is to get furious. I say something like, 展hat the heck are you doing?!” And I stare at
him/her by trying to look into their rear-view mirror and raise my hand up in
the air. And yes, I知 guilty of tailgating the
person too. Although, nowadays I rarely tailgate, and if I do tailgate, it痴 just for a couple seconds after he/she cuts
me off. But, I guess tailgating is tailgating, so it痴 still wrong. About the patience factor, it痴 hard to learn to be patient, especially when
someone cuts you off like that. It took me awhile to let those kinds of drivers
go and not 喪etaliate’ in anyway. It痴 hard, but whenever those types of situations
arise, one must find it within him/herself to relax, take a few deep breaths,
and let it go. Sure, they may cause an accident by cutting you off, but does
cutting in front of that driver and pressing the brakes make the situation any
safer? I guess that痴 one of the things that make
me think twice before retaliating. Not only does that driver pose a threat to
other drivers when cutting people off, but when I retaliate in a somewhat
similar manner, I知 just as much of a threat as
that first person. So, the best thing is to let it go and pass the driver
(without stares) or drive behind them without tailgating. It痴 hard to just let it pass with no retaliation,
but not reacting in rage may actually save lives.
AnimalLover
01/30/01 9:42 PM RE: stupid drivers
This sort of reminds me of an experience that
my sister once had. She was driving to school in traffic and a lady wanted to
change lanes. When she tried to change lanes she almost hit my sister because
my sister was right next to her but she was in the blind spot of the ladies
mirror and I guess the lady didn't look back to double check before she made
her move and if my sister hadn't moved to the side before the lady realized she
was there then they would have had and accident. Anyways, after my sister got
back on track she yelled at the lady and cut her off. Back to my point, as sad
as it is there are many stupid drivers, and I will admit that I am sometimes
one of them because I am still a new driver but I should hope that I'm not
still that stupid once I become and experienced driver like some of those
people are.
kathyhirokane
01/29/01 5:30 PM RE: stupid
drivers
dear gemini 79, i can totally relate to how
you feel about stupid drivers! many people have cut me off, going like, 60 mph
and almost clipping me, while the rest of traffic is going 50 mph. sometimes i
feel that people just don't think how dangerous they are being! also, i agree that
when people make their signal, it does not give them the right to cut in! that
was the first thing i learned in driving school! maybe those people should go
back to driver's ed! i am glad to hear that you are refraining from tailgating,
etc...i am guilty of doing the same things as you! it is a bad habit that i am
trying to break. unfortunately, when you get so emotional, it is hard to stop
and think rationally at times. but, i'm trying!!
darell 01/29/01 1:16 AM RE: stupid drivers
Hey,I can so relate to your story because
this is a direct replica of how I am. I would have reacted in the same manner.
I would have probably beeped my horn first and then yelled at her as I overtook
her and then cut right back in front of her where I would have been. I thought
that I was the only one that would do such a thing, but I finally found someone
that drives like me, very interesting. I seems interesing but at the same time
kind of scary because then it provesthat road rage is a problem. Anyways, I
just thought that I would relate to what you had to go through because I go
through every morning on my way to school. STUPID DRIVERS!!!!!!
darell 01/29/01 1:16 AM RE: stupid drivers
Hey,I can so relate to your story because
this is a direct replica of how I am. I would have reacted in the same manner.
I would have probably beeped my horn first and then yelled at her as I overtook
her and then cut right back in front of her where I would have been. I thought
that I was the only one that would do such a thing, but I finally found someone
that drives like me, very interesting. I seems interesing but at the same time
kind of scary because then it provesthat road rage is a problem. Anyways, I
just thought that I would relate to what you had to go through because I go
through every morning on my way to school. STUPID DRIVERS!!!!!!
darell 01/29/01 1:16 AM RE: stupid drivers
Hey,I can so relate to your story because
this is a direct replica of how I am. I would have reacted in the same manner. I
would have probably beeped my horn first and then yelled at her as I overtook
her and then cut right back in front of her where I would have been. I thought
that I was the only one that would do such a thing, but I finally found someone
that drives like me, very interesting. I seems interesing but at the same time
kind of scary because then it provesthat road rage is a problem. Anyways, I
just thought that I would relate to what you had to go through because I go
through every morning on my way to school. STUPID DRIVERS!!!!!!
gemini79
01/28/01 11:15 PM stupid
drivers
Every day on the road I have encounters with
stupid drivers. They believe that they are practicing safe driving habbits, but
in reality they are hazards on our roads. It is to often that I see them
driving under the speed limit and then when I pass them by they look at me like
I'm a crazy driver. I really don't appreciate those type's of nasty looks, but
I do get over it pretty fast. The other day while driving to school in light traffic
I was cut off by a volvo. Yes, this middle aged woman had her blinker on but I
was so close to her that she did not have the right of way. I was pissed, and I
experienced immediate irratation toward her. She definately fits in to my
description of a stupid driver. She felt that she was being cautious but she
was in fact doing the opposite, she wasn't paying attention at all. Just
because you signal to change lanes doesn't mean you are free do go as you
please. If there is a car coming down in that lane really close to you, than it
is simple, you just wait. I reacted in my usual manner, which is to first tail
gate her, then move to the other lane to stare her down so that she is aware of
her wrong doings which at the same time confirms my observation of her as a
stupid driver, and then I speed up to cut in front of her, brake to piss her
off while returning the favor.I know that I have issues and I am very well
aware of my behavior on the road. Believe it or not I have gotten better, for
instance I will refrain from behaving this way towards elderly people. I have
much respect for them and I would get very upset if someone young driver
expressed road rage towards my grandparents. That in itself is a whole other
issue. Maybe in time I will find it in my self to be just as patient with young
and middle aged drivers. Sometimes I feel that it is in my blood to be an
aggresive driver, but then I realize that this is simply a sad excuse for my
behavior.
kingwheelah
01/29/01 10:04 AM RE: road
rage at it's best
I feel you pain Darrel. I too hate it when
people tail me. I am a very aggressive driver, but there is one thing that I
never do; tail someone. I once was tailed by someone in Oahu, and I too did a
brake check to slow down so they would pass me. I could see the guy in the
mirror and he was pissed. I did not want to go any faster because I was already
5 mph above the speed limit. This was on the H-1, westbound, on the off-ramp to
Mililani at around 8:30pm when there was traffic. The guy finally pulled around
me and up next to my car. It was a stupid imbecile punk. He kept staring me
down and pulled away after I kept looking back at him. The bad part is that I
was not helping the situation by staring at him (I knew I could take him!). He
finally pulled away after he felt (well at least what I think he felt) like he
did not have an effect on me. Point is... taling SUCKS.
darell 01/29/01 12:21 AM road rage at it's best
I have a classic example of road rage. It
happened last week and I was driving townbound on the freeway from Salt Lake
heading to Kalihi. There this lady that was tailing me and so I decided to do a
brake check because I was getting really irritated. She finally decides to
switch lanes and overtakes me and gets in front of me and slams on her brakes.
That really pissed me off because I almost hit her car and then she speeds
away. So I decide to follow her. She finally takes the Punahou cut off and I
tail her until she turns into a street and that's when I figure out that I was
way past my destination of Kalihi. Sounds kind of stupid but at that time I
felt that I had to do it because she really pissed me off.
kingwheelah
01/29/01 9:55 AM The
Wrath of Kingwheelah
In the age of rage, lets just say I am a
professional at expressing it. For one thing, I am from Maui. We drive at a
cozy maximum speed limit of 45 mph. Everything was fine and dandy when it came
to driving until Oahu happened.... Oh my god, I can't believe how much of an
A-Hole I am on the road. After looking at myself and watching how I drive and
the actions that go with it, I can definitely say that I am an irresponsible,
impatient, NASCAR wannabe driver. Oh my god. Just the comments I make alone on
the road are just terrible. I for one HATE (repeat 10X) old drivers and always
comment on them, hate people who let 2 or more people merge into my lane from
on offramp, hate drivers that driver at or a little under the speed limit,
etc... Some classic things actions I take are that I swear continuously even in
the presence of my girlfriend, I drive faster, I switch lanes like a madman, I
pound on the steering wheel and talk to myself trying to justify the stupidity
of other drivers, and I also ask why they give people licenses to my imaginary
friend who sits in teh passenger seat when noone is in the car with me....
Anyone know or have these same qualities?
sakodash 01/29/01 8:48 PM RE: Martial Arts rage
I used to take kickboxing from a Taekwondo
school and I remember my teachers always telling us to imagine ourselves
kicking and punching the face of someone we hated when we were on the bags or
kicking pads. I guess in a way you can let out a lot of your frustration from
that day or that week out on the bag. I HATED sparring!! Everyone thinks it
doesn't hurt but let me tell you IT DOES!! Getting kicked and punched in the
head and body still hurts even though you have a helmet and padding on. I
remember one time when I was sparring, I was getting mad at the person I was
partnered with because he kept hitting and kicking me a little too hard. I got
so angry at him that at that point I didn't care if I was fighting fair. I just
wanted to kick his ass!! So I guess I understand that sometimes sparring can
get a little out of hand especially when you're not having a particularly good
day.
Watashi_No
01/29/01 11:51 AM Martial
Arts rage
It all starts out as innocent fun, then it
turns into a grudge match (sometimes). I used to take Taekwondo, and usually
once a week we would spar with the other members of the class. I saw these two
guys just kicking each other like there was no tomorrow. They were kicking each
other so hard the whole class stopped what they were doing and the sound of a
foot or hand hitting the padding they wore would reverberate throughout the room.
It seemed like they were taunting each other. When we had first started the
class they would kick and goad each other into doing more or hitting harder
because the last kick or punch "didn't hurt". The teacher decided to
let them go at each other, even though it seemed like they would kill each
other, but the teacher said that this is a good a place as any to let out their
frustrations and anger.That's partly why I was taking Taekwondo was to let off
some anger from events that had happened that day. In class I could kick the
paddle as hard as I wanted and pretend it was something I was angry at that
day, or pretend that it was a problem I had to work out and by
"abusing" the paddle I was clearing my mind to be able to work out
the problem I had.
MsLacey
02/11/01 7:17 PM RE:
pay raises for teachers!!
I agree that teachers in ths state are
dramatically underpaid. I think the job a teaacher does is the most important
service we have, equil to doctors. The pay descrepancy is so dramatic, these people
are shaping the children that will be our future leaders, voters, wives and
husbands to our children. I want the best qualified, most interesting person in
the world to be my childs teacher, but at $20,000 a year (at the most) we will
get people that couldn't cut it in a money making profesion filling the
positions. We don't need floride in our drinking water or to fix a salt water
pool two feet from the ocean, we need to pay our teachers.
TVR 02/06/01 1:38 PM RE: pay raises for teachers!!
I totally agree to what your saying. I
believe that teachers here in Hawaii should get pay increases. I think they
deserve it. If Governor Cayetano doesn't give these teachers the raise that
there asking for then I think where going to have a state full of angry people.
Not, just the teachers but you'll have the parents, students, and the entire
community protesting. I think the only way that we're going to stay a
competitive university in the future is to put some serious money into the
schools. How are you ever going to attract good teachers if they know they are
going to be under payed and the faculities here are under par. I just don't
understand the governors reasoning. The state has the money to pay the teachers
and make upgrades but he doesn't. You must be right, there must be some grudge
he has against the teachers.
silverfox2001
01/31/01 7:10 PM RE:
pay raises for teachers!!
I have to agree with you one hundred percent.
It seem like we are the only state that don't care about our teachers. Our
teachers need a pay raise but not at the expense of students tution. Second of
all he should spend his days in the dorm for one entire semester and classes
that need to be remodeled and see if he feels like learning. He wants us to be
progressive students, how can we. When he is always cutting the education
budget, I say its time to oust him out of office and get a govenor who would
like to spend the money on us students who live in the state and not in some
foreign country or another piece of structure we as locals can't enjoy.
mightymousesa 01/30/01 6:13 PM RE: pay raises for teachers!!
I'm glad to see that the students of UH are
becoming aware of exactly what is happening to our faculty! Too often we take
them for granted not realizing that most of them are making less than $30,000
to deal with us, teach us, and advise us.But student need to realize that
complainning about it is not going to help, we need to focus our efforts and
write to the gov. and have your family write too!! The teachers are trying to
keep this from hurting the students. The least we as students can do is write a
letter!!!
Number11BUS 01/29/01 9:54 PM RE: pay raises for teachers!!
Hi sakodash and others,Informational message
here from Number11Bus. Strike will not occur before April. Tuition paid for
this semester will not be re-collected for the same course. An incomplete due
to strike will be sorted out after a strike. Professors will be giving
incompletes and completing the intstruction/grading upon return from strike.
The purpose here is to complete as much instruction material with the students
as possible so that only the timing of the grade posting is affected, not the
work or the instruction. Some professors may suggest "home study" and
submit by e-mail or snail mail the final papers and projects. The Professors
and Staff have been fighting this battle with Gov. Ben since 1992. The best we,
as students, can do is to complete our assignments timely and be patient. Media
hype will try to make the faculty look really bad and uncaring, just as they
did on the 6 o'clock news tonight. This is a political struggle between a
bully, Ben, and dedicated faculty just trying to honor their contracts. First
no pay raise, then no contract...what next...no university? Just remember, Gov
Ben has one billion dollars in this budget for construction. The carpenters and
builders will get paid, but not K-12 or university education. Construction
could be a little less and education could be a little more. It's called sharing.
And, the legislators are elected and will hear you if you speak up. They all
have e-mail addresses. Just look under hawaii.gov. As a fellow student, I can
say things like this the faculty would have difficulty with. My
"lecture" is over. Don't forget to vote in the next election. Every
vote counts. Cheers,Number11BUS
sakodash 01/29/01 8:39 PM RE: pay raises for teachers!!
Hi Kathy!! I agree teachers should get raises
but then it makes me worried about what if they don't and they end up going on
strike? I know there was a press conference today but I don't have a clue on
what they deceided on. If they go on strike, doesn't it mean that we may not
graduate on time? I don't really understand how this all works--does anyone
know what will happen if teachers go on strike? I know it sounds cool at first
that we don't have to go to school and all but then if we have to have so many
hours to fulfill then what will be taken from us? Spring break? Summer? Well, I
hope eveything gets cleared up soon.
kathyhirokane
01/29/01 5:23 PM pay raises for
teachers!!
my rage for the day:i hope the teachers get
their pay raise! they deserve it. gov. cayetano has held a grudge against the
teachers, especially UH professors, and refuses to give them a pay raise! he is
proposing to build a new aquarium and an art center, etc...yet doesn't seem to
have enough money to pay our teachers! what is up with that???? he claims to be
the "education governor" but i haven't seen anything to back up that
statement! this topic has been on my mind for a while now, and i just had to
vent my rage on it! he should spend a week, or just a day, at any public school
campus and see for himself how bad it is! even here on campus, some of the
rooms are pathetic and run down! if he only knew what the public school
teachers have to go through, he just might change his tune!
MadHatter808 02/02/01 3:53 PM RE: work place rage
Seems like this person needs some
anger-management lessons. If someone could offer this to her in a kind manner, she
may think about it.. there's some sites on the net I saw about this (like a
twelve-step course or something) but the person offering this to her has to
come from a position of love and concern that she gets better. Yeah, she's been
very rude and upsetting to many people and that has already damaged a lot of
relationships for her...the appropriate thing to do now is for her to get some
help to help control her anger. Maybe there are underlying issues there that
make her angry related to family, friends, money, or other problems that's
adding to her rage. There's no excuse for lashing out at others, but she has to
realize first that she needs help. She must face her anger honestly and ask
herself why she's that way and what can be done about it. There's no easy
answer, but it's better to start somewhere than to let the cycle of violence
(in this case violence to self and others through hostile emotions) consume her
as well as irritate everyone else around her. I'm surprised the supervisor
hasn't tried to suggest ways she could improve her rage so that there can be a
more harmonious and productive work environment...maybe you and a few of your
coworkers can approach him and discuss ways to help her and improve working
conditions for everyone. I know of people who have taken anger management
classes in Hawai'i and found them to be quite useful...he could diplomatically
suggest this to her and provide her with some information on where she can get
some help.
meow24
01/29/01 8:36 PM RE:
work place rage
first of all i feel bad about your situation.
but what i want to tell you is to be CAREFUL. i really never heard of a term
work place rage, coworker rage, etc. till the Uesugi's case. since then i've
been paying more attention to others' advice on work places and try to keep up
with all the terrible accidents that happen at work places. i think these
hotheads (this is what i call those angry workers) should be monitor carefully.
there were many other work place rages lately all over the U.S. and i feel terrible
about it. luckily(?), i haven't started to work yet, so i don't know what it is
like to be working w/ coworkers, but i can imagine working w/ someone like that
in my office. it must be pain in the butt for u.i tell my sis to watch out too,
since she's working at the hospital and the tension is very high there almost
everyday. who knows when, where, or how someone would just act out on their
rage and hurt their coworkers.if other co-workers feel the same way about this
women, i think u should file a complaint with your coworkers about her behavior
at work to a manager or someone who can take care of her or at least of this
violent behavior . and do this till the situation is corrected. my sister and
her co-workers did this to her manager(who worked at that place for 20 yrs.)
and now she is gone! =)u should not feel threaten or awkward working in a place
w/ others.
kathyhirokane
01/29/01 5:39 PM work place
rage
just today, a person that i work with got
very angry at me and a coworker and began to yell and scold us in a manner that
was pretty condescending and unnecessary. this particular person is known for
her outbursts and does so regardless who is in her presence! she is constantly
belittling other coworkers, even higher-ups who have seniority over her. in
front of a crowd of clients, she began to argue and yell at another coworker,
calling him senile and old, all in front of strangers! to me, she does not have
any control over her emotions. when something makes her mad, no matter how
small, she throws a fit and embarrasses the person who made her mad. this makes
me so upset because she has no right to accuse and belittle people she works
with for no reason. she has no respect for anyone and believes that she is
always in the right. no one ever confronts her about this, which makes it even
worse. she just continues to do what she does! a confrontation may make things
worse, in her case, but i just wish one day that someone would give her a wake
up call and put her in her place! most of the time i just roll my eyes at her
and just take it, but inside i am pissed! but, i can't do anything! her antics
are commonplace around work, so everyone knows how she is and just lets her act
that way. i hate that! any advice??
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