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virtual-b
02/03/01 10:53 AM RE:
Faculty rage
The professor probably was too stressed to
notice what he was doing, which was passing the blame on. No one knew what
happened to the student's grade, so he blamed the person next in line which
unfortunately is you. I remember doing something like that in my former work
place. I was a librarian's assistant III for the state library, and we would
hold a patron's library card when he or she wanted to look at reserve material.
Later, we would return the card when the material was returned, like using a
computer lab on campus. However one day, when the patron returned the material,
her card could not be found. I was on duty at that point, so I freaked. I
blamed this student helper when in the end, it was me who misplaced the card. I
did not want to face the complaints from the patron and my supervisor, so I
without thought, blamed the next person in line. It was only when the card was
found that I remembered that I placed it there. I apologized to the patron and
the student helper. Blaming is like rage in the sense that they can be second
nature. No thought is required involved when committing such acts. It is only
in introspection and in retrospect that we can discover our flaws.
TVR 01/30/01 10:18 AM RE: Faculty rage
People sometimes can be so inconsiderate. I
remember this one time when I was at work and my store manager got upset at me
because one of our customers didn't receive one of their orders. On that night,
everyone was busy doing there own thing. One of the other managers that night
took the order but didn't tell anyone else about it. He left it in the back
warehouse and expected someone to do it. By the end of the night, I guess he
had forgotten about it so nobody did it. In the end, the manager that took the
order was at fault. The store manager did apologize for accusing me and no bad
blood was left. I don't think that everyone is inconsiderate. But, I really
believe that professors like to take advantage of student help. If I was you I
wouldn't worry about it. It's not like your going to be working there for the
rest of your life..right!!
Number11BUS 01/29/01 9:36 PM RE: Faculty rage
Hi sakodash,You hang in there. Don't take
blame for Faculty errors. The Secretary was quite correct in coming to your
aid. (And the Faculty member KNOWS very well you are not even allowed to post
the grades so it is not your fault). A student that does not attend class get
an FAT, a Failure to Attend as designated grade and is entered with the last
date the professor had contact (if any) with the student. The Facult member was
guilty of taking out his/her embarrasment on you because you were handy. It is
not nice but it happens in the real world. The computer print-outs are
sometimes leaving off a student or having them appear on the wrong sheet. Even
these computer errors are human in a way. But data entry is a thankless job
most of the time because we forget how repetitive the work can get. Take it all
with a grain of salt and remember to be nice to the secretary that keep the
records straight. Goodness, what would we do without the secretarial staff at
UH. The professors are much too busy and too overburdened most of the time to
watch out for all the details and dates. The university has been shortstaffed
in all areas, not just paperclips, for years now. Go read a few of the comments
under rage at Governor Ben. He has a way of using divide and couquer to keep
things riled up between university, staff, community, student. Keep and eye on
him. There's more in store. Vote! He can't run again!Cheers,Number11BUS
sakodash 01/29/01 9:00 PM Faculty rage
I work in an office on campus and I normally
don't have a reason to get mad just a little irritated at times. I guess I
didn't realize it but I get irritated when faculty are asking me to do something
for them when they can clearly see that I'm on the phone with someone else. I
don't understand why they just can't wait till I'm off or write down what they
want from me. The other day I got really angry because I got blamed for doing
something that wasn't even my fault. One of our faculty members came storming
into the office telling the secretary that the student helpers must have
recorded the wrong grade for one of his students last semester. The student was
supposed to get an A but received an F. Being that I'm the only student helper,
it was suddenly all my fault to him. Thank God the secretary kept copies of the
grade sheets and found out that the student wasn't even on his grade sheet--he
wasn't even supposed to be in his class but changed sections without actually
registering for that section. So of course he got an F because he was on
somebody elses class list and to them, he never showed up for class. I just
hate it how it's so easily my fault just because I'm the lowly student helper!!
He didn't even apologize for blaming me--I don't even think he even realized it
was his fault for not checking his class list and not knowing his students.
Instead, he blamed the student. I hate that!!
kathyhirokane
01/30/01 4:08 PM RE: Political
Rage
hey number11,i totally know how you feel! it
gets me pretty irritated when i hear of people not going out to vote. when i
turned 18, i really wanted to get out there and vote and voice my opinion. i
think that people should all exercise their right, especially women (who only
recently got the right to vote in america). personally, i am tired of how the
democrats have been running hawaii and it is time for change!! i can't stand
how people who voted for cayetano and all his cronies, complain about current
situations. everyone complains that we need change, yet no one has the guts to
vote these guys out of office! the change starts with us, the community, and we
need to be more vocal until we get that change!!
Number11BUS 01/29/01 10:07 PM Political Rage
Given the recent elections as example, people
thought they got what they wanted. Were they right? Were they wrong? We think
that if we exercise our right to vote we can make a difference. In Hawaii, not
many of of voted during the most recent election. Less than 35% of the
registered voters participated. This made me really angry at first. I thought
people were disinterested. Upon reflection I can thing several ways at once. 1.
They don't think their vote matters. 2. Their vote doesn't matter. 3. They don't
have the tools to make a decision they feel comfortable with. 4. They are too
busy just trying to make ends meet to have time to weigh the pros and cons of
their vote. 5. They opt out of the system because they feel alienated from the
system. 6. They got what they deserved. WE ar the THEY. Just what do you think
happened. We don't seem to be very happy with what we got in Hawaii. It may not
be party related at all. It may be something else. I'm not angry about it
anymore...but I am a little scared about the possible futures if we don't pay
close attention to what is happening around us now. I would say I have
post-election PTSD. Just thought I'd share...CheersNumber11Bus
PHYRE2001 01/30/01 12:50 PM SWR: CUSTOMERS!!
Whenever you get a new job, it always seems
so good to you. You find yourself being so nice to everyone, and you actually
enjoy going to work. Even the worst, irrate customers don't seem to bother,
going on the fact that you just enjoy being there. Then, one day comes where it
is no longer the nice guy. And those once pleasant thank yous to those most
irrate customers are gone. One day is just magically dissappears and a customer
takes you to the limit. One question before I go to my report, why is that? Why
is it that one day you no longer feel pleasant at work. Where does all that go?
Anyhow on to my report. I work at a banking, and almost everyone know that
banking is definately workplace rage. I never knew what that mean until I
finally felt it. It happened to me before, but I guess it never really bothered
me before because I was new. Giving a customer money is part of the bussiness
for me. As a nice gesture you always ask the customer, in what denominations
would you like your cash back. In some cases, they actually do tell you, but in
others they respond "it does not matter." Then you proceed to count
their money back, and all of a sudden its all wrong. They no longer want that,
and you become the bad guy. I don't understand why they say it does not matter
when it actually does. It would not be so bad if they would politely ask for
other denominations. But no, they get so angry at you, like your suppose to
read their mind. You can feel your face feel red, and you wish you could fly
the money in their face. Can you imagine their reaction!! But, you don't , you
take it all in and realize , "Yeah, its all part of the job'!!"
skyblue 02/02/01 1:19 PM RE: mad at the media/and related
I fully agree with your views that the media
puts a lot of pressure on both genders, especially women conforming to
societies' approval of appearing to look beautiful. Humans are not perfect at
all! I am aware of my flaws that I cannot change. The media places too much
emphasis in advertising to the consumers about their ideal image of males and
females because their messages and ads sometimes focus on only one part of the
body. The typical ads may feature mens' biceps and or butt, womens' cleavage or
buttocks. In addition, the latest computer/media technology are used to hide
their flaws. Unfortunately, the media hasn't come to grips with the fact that
men and women come in all shapes and sizes--pear, apple, v-shape, or short,
tall, and many more!
Watashi_No
01/30/01 1:31 PM mad
at the media/and related
I'm tired of the media telling me what is
supposed to be beautiful. All the commercials for make-up and clothes and
different things that does wonders for everything from a person's lips to a
person's toes. Even for the second Survivor show in an interview with one of
the people for the show said something like "this time more people showed
up to play the game so they could choose [pretty] people", I'm guessing
instead of having to settle for the people that was there they could pick
because there wasn't any other choice with the first Survivor show. It's a sad
world that all the glitz and glamour rule so many people's lives, and it's just
because the media portrays certain things, (which a very small percentage of
the population even has without cosmetic surgery etc.) as beautiful and if you
don't have it and want to be a "star" then you have to change your
looks to be sexier or more in tune to what the media portrays (and what people
seem to like just because the media portrays it as something others want). Don't
get me wrong I do wear make-up but not because the media or commercials tell me
to, and I wear clothes that I like and feel comfortable in. It's kind of
sickening also to see all the celebrities spend hundreds of thousands of
dollars on their weddings (*cough* Douglas/Zeta Jones *cough*) and parties and
there are hundreds of homeless people who could use the money!!And the other
side of the media where they kill a story just by playing things over and over
and over again, a million times where every single station has something on it.
But I think I'm being too pessimistic right now, I know the media does
contribute alot of good things, and celebrities do have charities etc. for the
not so fortunate people but I think the charities are too few and too far between,
unless there's not that much coverage on them. Oh well, that's my rant for
today :)
lavaflow
01/31/01 10:35 PM RE: parent rage
I understand how the saound of crying baby
can be a big disturbance especially when we are supposed to enjoy dinner with
family at a restaurant. I think what makes us irritated is that parents don't
try anyting to stop it. If we can see parents' effort, we don't get much
irritated even if a baby keeps crying for the same amount of time. I assume
that the couple you met often let their baby to cry at any time or at any place
without regarding either at their own home or in public places. I saw a couple
of time on the bus that a parent let her child to keep screaming or to make
annoying sound with a stick.
Dahlin
01/30/01 3:01 PM parent
rage
Last week, my husband, daughter and I ate out
at Chili's Restuarant. Either my husband or I held our daughter Isabella the
entire time. She loves to look around at all the new and interesting things. I
enjoy holding her up to see her wonderful world, plus she wouldn't be content
to lay in her infant seat looking at the ground or ceiling. My rage occurred
when another couple allowed their infant to cry for ten minutes or longer while
they ate their dinners. At first I casually looked over to see exactly what was
going on. After I realized they simply were not picking that baby up I started
making my looks very obvious, in effort to embarass the couple into doing
something. I just couldn't understand why that couple let their baby cry
endlessly while they ate. I felt sorry for the baby and the other patrons in
the restuarant. It was a very disturbing scene, and it almost ruined the last
part of my dinner with my husband.
Supreme-Finess
01/30/01 3:42 PM Self-witnessing
report #1
Just the other day I had an episode of rage
that I would like to comment on. In order for you to understand my perspective,
let me provide you with a little background information. On the 27th of this
month was my girlfriend's birthday, which fell on a Saturday. I had gotten paid
a day earlier which was a Friday and I needed to cash my paycheck and come into
work by 5 o'clock so I was very pressed for time. I had to cash my check and
fly over to the florist and have roses delivered to her and I needed this done
before my shift. As I made my way to the bank an SUV driven by a male was in
front of me. We were both in a residential district so the speed limit was
somewhere between 20 and 25mph. This guy was going like 10-12 mph. I
immediately became frustrated. And if there is one thing I learned in this
course so far was that frustration is also considered rage. Nevertheless I
became very upset because I was not going to make it in time before the bank
closed and I really wanted to get those flowers to my girlfriend. So what I did
was speed up and pass the person. I was frustrated and i took action. Here's
where I learned a valuable lesson. I should have controlled my frustration
better because in the end I still was late to get to the bank and was unable to
get the flowers in time for her birthday anyways.
rie2001
01/30/01 3:55 PM My
Road rage
I have to confess something here... I had one
big road rage last night.I was driving on Ala Moana Blvd. toward East. There
was a silver civic in front of me. That car was loaded, had huge air spoiler
stinking into the air and huge exaust, dropped, wore big rim. We stopped at the
light, and I realized that the driver of civic was looking at me from the side
mirror. Then he started revving so hard, tapping his brake repeatedly and
cheking how I react. He was obviously trying to provoke me. He started his car,
swithed the lane and waited for me to catch up with him. I also swiched the
lane because I didn't want to race with him. I guess he got mad because I
didn't respond. But I was actually irritated. As he drives, he suddenly stepped
on the brake, the tires made squeaky sounds and smoke came out. I didn't want
to smash into his rear so I switched the lane and passed his car. He tailgated
me really closely. I finally lost my temper. By this time, we were on Kapiolani
Ave. I sped up, and we got on H1. From Kapiolani to the end of H1 was too short
for race. After the end of H1, I slowed down and let him go, and stepped on the
brake and made U-turn. He had to go straight toward Hawaii Kai. Then I ran
away.I was raged at that stupid civic, but I shouldn't have race with him. I
drove back to town. I was going to my friend's party but was late already. My
friends were wondering where I had been. I told them what was happened, and my
good friend really got mad at me for racing with one of the wanna be racers.
They said "Girls usually don't race!!" Sexist?Well... I need to think
about my driving behavior. Honestly, I like to race (or in oassenger seat while
somebody race with others) but as I think about the danger of street racing, I
have to admit that it is stupid habit.
rie2001
01/30/01 6:15 PM My
rage #2
I confessed my rage experience a couple hours
ago, but some more things to add here....I was heading to Makiki Post office
this afternoon. I drove down Lunalilo, but the road was under construction. I
couldn't make turn to the Post Office because cones were blocking the entrance.
But there were a few cars parked at parking space so the Post office must be
open. I asked a police man standing there how can I get Post Office. He told me
to go down Pensacola and go in there. So I did, although that was one-way and I
wasn't supposed to go in, I thought that's OK because that's what police told
me. Another police man was standing in the parking space, and before I park my
car, he came up to me and knock my window. He said "Didn't you see the
sign there? NO-ENTER!! IT'S ONE-WAY!!" He was so rude. I was pissed and
told him that I just did what the police told me. He seemed to be very upset,
and he went " Who told you? When??? Huh, you tell me, when!?" I said
" That guy, right there! He told me only a minutes ago!" He said
" No ways, miss, you come in to the wrong way. Who told you? Huh?" I
thought he is a deaf or something.His attitude is not appropriate as a Police
man at all. He seemed to just try to put me down. I was so upset, but he just
left, saying something loudly to himself. I am so regret that I didn't see his
name tag or somethig so that I could report it to the Police station. I didn't
even go into the Post Office and left. Another thing was about last night. I
was driving around Kaimuki, the road was empty and pretty dark. I didn't
realize that the police man was standing in the middle of the road and tried
picking up something from the ground. I almost ran over him because I couldn't
see him. Of course he was wearing dark-navy blue police uniform, black hair, no
lights or anything noticable in the dark. What's the hell was he doing there in
the dark by himself? Luckily, I wasn't speeding so I didn't run over him.It is
scarely that pedetrian trys crossing anywhere on the road, especially in the
dark. No matter how carefully we are driving, sometimes we just can't see the
pedestrians in such a dark night. If I run over him, whose fault it is going to
be? I guess mine. Especially a victim was a police man. All I can do is to
become a extremely careful driver.
kathyhirokane
01/30/01 9:19 PM RE: A little bit
of rage paid off!!
mightymouse,i have had a similar experience
with longs drugs! i had called in a prescription, but did not pick it up until
3-4 days later. well, when i went to pick it up, the lady told me that if you don't
come to pick it up within 2 days, they re-shelve your medicine and you have to
put in your prescription again! the real kicker was that my prescription had
expired after i had called it in to longs, so i had to get a brand new
prescription from my doctor! the next time i went to longs i made sure that i
knew exactly what their policy was on how long you have to pick up
prescriptions. sometimes i think they are sticklers over every little thing!!!
i'm glad to hear that they took your complaint seriously!
mightymousesa 01/30/01 6:31 PM A little bit of rage paid off!!
Yesterday, I had to go and pick up a
perscription at Longs. I called in my order to the answering service and it
replied that my perscription would be ready at 6:00pm. So at 6:15 I head out of
my apartment, fight traffic, find parking, and enter the drug store. I go to
the back and wait for 45 min. till I am next to be waited on and I give the
girl my name so she can get the prescription. She looks and finds a note
instead of the medicine. She replies to me that since one of my perscriptions
was filled at another store she is going to have to fine me $3 and I won't be
able to get my perscription till tomorrow! I ask her to explain to me then why
the answering service recognized my perscription and confirmed I could pick it
up. Shje explained that they had the info, and it was still correct but it was
policy to charge the $3 if you ever fill your perscription somewhere else. I
start to lose my temper and ask for the head pharmacist. He comes up and I go
off! "You mean to tell me that you have the info, you have the
medicine,your machine comfirmed on my phone call that I could get my medicine,
but you are going to charge me three bucks, make me wait till tomorrow, after I
had to make it all the way down here in traffic!!!!" He just stuttered and
finally said yes. I lost it right there, "Well then I think all of your
customers deserve to know this!!!" All of a sudden the people who were
waiting around me started chimming in with me. One little old woman even said
"I 'm not shopping here anymore if you waste people's time like
that!" I had not been aware of how many people had watched the entire
situation until I walked out and got to my car. The good news is that when I
got home there was a message on my answering machine from the manager
apologizing for the inccident and hoping I would continue to shop at Longs in
the future
snowhawaii
02/02/01 2:08 PM RE: Elevator rage
Yes, I do understand your rage.I feel same
way if I have the same situation.As you said, being late was your fault, but
the guy should've cared about other people too. If I were him, I wouldn't stop
the elevator if somebody was in. Especially he's talking to his mother, why
can't he talk to her before he leaves?Talking about elevator rage remainds me
"escalator rage". I often had this rage before I came to Hawaii.Many
train stations have escalators. The common rule is standing on one side and
leave the other side for people in hurry, who usually walk up the escaltor. But
some people(many times middle-aged or older ladies) don't know this rule or
just ignore it, they stand side by side bloking one side so that it causes a
long line behind them. Many people like students or commuters are in hurry to
change trains, but this blocking escalator happens often. I remember it made me
so irritated!
Daniel1978 02/02/01 9:25 AM RE: Elevator rage
I don't feel that you were in the wrong. I
can't stand it when people do that. With road rage, and for example: speeding
in traffic, You're putting other people's lives at RISK. If you drive slowly on
the freeway, you're doing as you're supposed to do and not driving recklessly.
Holding the elevator up when there are people in it is just plain rude. The
only thing that guy was doing was making people wait. He was making you wait,
he was making the people on the ground floor wait, he was making all the people
in the building wait. There was no reason he could not have caught the next
one. If he's not in a hurry, he can catch the next one. IF someone tries to do
that while I'm in the elevator, I'll either cough or say something politely. It
usually works. I UNDERSTAND YOUR RAGE!!!!
lavaflow
01/30/01 6:52 PM Elevator
rage
It was a small rage. On that day I had a
class starting from 9:00AM. I was a little late to leave my place to catch the
bus. While waiting for the elevator, I started blaming myself about being
unable to leave my place five minutes earlier or wake up a little earlier
instead of keep turning off the alarm so that I didn't have to be in such
hurry. I estimated that if the elevator went straight down without stopping any
floors, there were still chance that I could catch my bus. However, of course
there were always some innocent interruptions to my selfish hope. The elevator
stopped at the 7th floor. One guy came in talking to his mother who was just
there to say goodbye to him. The guy kept holding the elevator door with his
arm while having conversation for about a minute. And he didn't say anything to
me when the door finally closed. It was probably less than a minute but I felt
like it took almost five minutes or so. I wanted to say "why don't you
just get off and finish your coversation" but I didn't. I know that this
situation did not irritate me if it happened in the afternoon or anytime when I
was not in a hurry. But I often feel that "five minutes in the
morning" is different and it worth thirty minutes in other time of the
day.
AnimalLover
01/30/01 8:47 PM Speeding
Car Rage
Last weekend I got somewhat irritated because
I was turning into Haleiwa right before the bypass road. On that road when you
are turning left you have the right of way because the cars turning right
coming the other way have to merge into your lane. (I'm not that surprised when
people act like they own the roads down there because so many of them are
territorial, I guess in some cases even me, but I can still get irritated.)
Anyways, when I was turning left a car that was coming from the other way was
already speeding so when he turned he tried to speed up and merge in front of
me but I sped up so he had to go in behind me and I guess he got irritated so
he followed closely behind me until he had to take a turn but I didn't care
because I didn't feel I was the one in the wrong.
Dahlin 01/31/01 3:37 PM RE: He Hit Her-Twice SWR
How horrible! I also have witnessed a drunken man beat up on a
woman. It was Halloween night, I was in Waikiki, my brother and i were heading home.
As we were driving down one of the streets, we saw a man just whailing on this
young woman. She was screaming and trying to duck away from his punches. There
were many people on the street, but none however came to the woman's aid. My
brother jumped out of our car and said "A, stop it". The man was
either scared or threatened or both because he walked away leaving the woman
crying, huddled in the corner. My friend and I went up to help her. She too was
drunk and unable to really do anything. Fortunately her friend came and helped
her to God knows where. I agree, what a horrible, ugly situation to witness. I
felt sorry for the woman.
Number11BUS 01/30/01 9:48 PM He Hit Her-Twice SWR
Road Rage has been around a long time. Back in 1985, when I was
living at Date and Kapiolani, about 1 am, just after the majority of eating
places close in Honolulu and the first wave of bars close I was out on my
lanai, just because it was to warm to sleep and saw the traffic, six floors
below stop for the red light on Kapiolani. One lone car, young asian-local
driver, obeying the law. Another vehicle comes up and doesn't stop in time and
rear-ends her, doing a good bit of damage to both cars. A young
"white" male jumps from his car, dashes up to the driver in the first
car and begins screaming at her that she has ruined his car and punches her
square in the face through the open window. While she is frantically trying to
role up the window, I'm dialing 911 trying to get the police. She gets the
window up and he plummets the closed window glass a few times and runs back to
his car and comes back with a tire iron. I'm so scared for her but being six
floors up there is not much I can do. 911 finally answers. I practically scream
my address and the occuring situation and DEMAND an officer get there NOW. By
now the male driver has broken out the windshield and she has retreated to the
center of the car. In only moments the police arrive and take him into custody.
He had been drinking and she, according to his yelling, was not moving out fast
enough from the red light when it turned green and has caused him to stop when
he should have been able to just keep going. While I feel relief that the
police responded, I am at once angry, scared for myself as the witness, and for
her possible injuries, dismayed at the havoc that has been brought by the young
man who is clearly out of control. His car is wrecked, her car is wrecked, he
will spend the night in jail, she is taken off in an ambulance from her
injuries both from the crash and from being hit in the face, not to mention the
terrioristic threatening she endured. Road Rage is not even a coined word as
far as I know and terrioristic threatening is a new phrase used only for spys
and such. My nice quiet neighborhood of appartment complexes of academics has
been shattered. I still get a faster heartbeat just remembering it all. It
still has the power to put a scare in me. The random event that can make one
feel so very vunerable--in an instant. First you think a driver is going to get
out of his car to render aid and then, all of a sudden you realize the terror
has just begun. A waking nightmare. I suspect the she-driver was on her way
home from work and the he-driver was on his way home from his favorite bar. She
inconvienced him by stopping for a red light and became the target of his
pent-up aggressive feelings when it did not turn green soon enough to satisfy
him. How quick it all happened and the lasting feeling and emotions it
provokes--Road Rage. Hope no one else has to witness such.Number11BUS
Watashi_No 02/01/01 5:26 PM RE: Rage for my grandmother
I can't believe that someone would be so rude as to yell at an
older person!! The person who yelled at your grandmother probably wasn't in her
right mind. It seems now days that in this "fast-paced" world that
people are moving faster and faster, when in times past people had more time on
their hands and did things alot slower. It seems so ridiculous to yell at
another person to cross the street faster, ridiculous because an elderly person
may not be able to walk faster in the first place, the person is just yelling
for nothing. The yelling is definitely not going to make the person go faster
if he/she can't walk fast in the first place!! Now days I think that street
lights for pedestrians need to be longer, to give people more of a chance to
cross the street, even I can't cross some streets before a lights turns showing
me the red hand to stop. It's just this kind of incidents that make me realize
that alot of people have lost their minds. I'm sorry that your grandmother
doesn't walk around anymore just because of that lady, I hope the lady got what
she deserves, or gets what she deserves in the end.
AnimalLover 01/30/01 9:55 PM
Rage for my grandmother
This is kind of an old topic but everytime I think of it I get
overwhelmed with rage. My grandmother lives in Haleiwa and she doesn't drive so
she used to walk everywhere she needed to go. Well, one time she was crossing
the street (she walks slow because she has arthritis) and a lady had to stop
for her to finish crossing. The withcy lady that had to stop for her got really
mad because my grandma couldn't walk fast enough and she started yelling and
swearing out the window at my grandma. After that my grandma won't walk anyplace
anymore which just enrages me that someone could be that inconsiderate towards
their elders. I consider this road rage and if I ever found out who that person
was (nobody has the guts to tell me) I would teach the lady about a whole other
type of rage.
AnimalLover 02/06/01 4:59 PM
RE: Mom Rage
I know what you're talking about. My mom drives me up the wall!!
Whenever I'm driving with her she tells me what to do: watch you're speed (even
though she speeds way more than I ever will), watch that car, etc., etc. Also,
when my mom is "reminding" or "warning" me of something she
doesn't know how to do it in a calm voice so she drives me up the wall. It's
always like, "WATCH OUT FOR THE CAR!!!!" or "RED LIGHT!!!"
when I'm already aware. The thing I hate the most is when she gives me bad
directions and then after we pass a turn or something she screams at me
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU MISSED THE TURN?" and then I yell back at
her "DO YOU WANT TO DIE? WELL THEN STOP SCREAMING AT ME!!!" This is a
never ending cycle.
Supreme-Finess 02/02/01 2:31
PM RE: Mom Rage
This is in response to Mom Rage posted by spoiled brat on
01/30/01. Boy do i know what you are talking about. the only difference is that
my mother drives, but she is not a back seat driver... no she is a passenger
seat driver. There is not one time i remember where she has sat in my car and
not said one thing about how I am driving or where I should go. Mothers will be
mothers though and that we could not do anything about. She sometimes irritates
the crap out of me but then I think about all the things she puts up with from
me and then I really cant complain- geez I hate that! But I just remember that
she only does that because she loves me and that she is just looking out for
the personal saftey of me and her. There was this one time though when we were
driving to my grandmother's house. My grandmother has lived at her place for 12
years and my mother was still giving me directions as if I had never been there
before. I mean come on does she think I'm stupid? So I totally feel the mom
rage she is going through.
DrDriving (Community Owner) 02/01/01 6:55 PM RE: Mom Rage
Here's a practical suggestion:You need to go through a training
program with her to teach her how she can communicate to you what she sees and
fears. She is the passenger as well as your Mom and so training her would be
far better for both of you than the current enraging standoff.For example, as
you drive let her talk out loud continuously--what she sees, what she fears,
what she thinks you don't see, what she thinks you should do, in what lane,
etc. This is called Partnership Driving in our Road Rage book. See here for a
sample Partnership Driving Contract I used with my wife several years
ago:http://www.aloha.net/~dyc/partner.htmlThere are other methods but the main
focus should be on training her how to talk to you while you drive. Dr. James
SpoiledBrat 01/30/01 11:03
PM Mom Rage
Driving with my mother can give me rage more than anybody else.
First, she does not know how to drive. She can't drive, but she loves to tell
me what to do. She has told me that she has watched people drive, being a
passenger, therefore she knows how to drive. I get frustrated with her, but I
usually just try to ignore her. She complains about things like I'm speeding,
put two hands on the wheel, don't you need to be in the other lane, and the
list can go on and on. What sets me off is when she tells me to "watch
out" all of a sudden and gets me freaked out. It's perfectly fine to warn
somebody if you know for sure they are not aware of something. My mom on the
other hand, tells me that everytime a car is coming or a pedestrian is walking
when she notices them and thinks she sees them before I do. This scares me and
I immediately step on my breaks with my heart pounding ready to jump out of my
chest. Then I look around and ask her where. She points to where ever and I
look and then I get mad. Then I scream to her that I had seen the car or
pedestrian and knew they were there the whole time. I continue with the yelling
and ask her do you want to get me into an accident because scaring me like that
does not help me. Then she tells me oh I was just making sure you were
watching. After she tells me this my rage is just on fire. Scaring me all of a
sudden sends the adrenalin through my body so fast it affects me physically and
then I get mad so the adrenalin is fueling my rage. I have tried to explain to
her very patiently not to do those things and what she does will cause more
harm than good. She does not listen to me and do you know how I know? Because
she does it again and again and again. I understand she might not know I see
them, but they are a good distance away from me and she screams it like I'm
going to hit them that second. I love my mom, but driving with her is very
frustrating. Hopefully this class will teach me how to deal with my mom?
leis 02/04/01 10:13 PM RE: Celphone rage
I also totally agree with you. I have often got upset toward bad manner
that some people attend to classes without turning off the celphone. When I
hear the melody of somebody's celphone during the instructor's talking, I
always feel disgusting. As the advantage of the celphone is that we can call
whenever, wherever we want, I would not say that they should turn off the
power. However, they should change the way to catch a call from melody-mode to
vibration-mode. And actually, I have been also surprised at that most of
instructors are tolerant toward the use of celphone during their classes. But I
am glad to hear at knowing the existence of such a strict instructor
Watashi_No 02/04/01 2:39 PM RE: Celphone rage
I know what you mean about cell phones ringing in places that it
should not be ringing in the first place. Some people act as though they would
die if they turned their cellphone off. I always think to myself that people
did without cellphones for so long before they came into "style" that
no one would believe it by looking at the number of people walking and talking
on one. I even had a couple classes where the cellphone rings and the student
in the class ANSWERED it! And she sat right in the front of the class! I
couldn't believe it, the teacher was talking and lecturing and she had the
nerve to answer it. The worst is when a cellphone rings and it's right in the
middle of a test, that gets me totally distracted. I know that one of my
teachers in the past has said that if a cell rings during the middle of a test
that person gets an F, no matter what. And I have had other teachers that
always try to remind the students before class to turn their cellphones off or
put it on silent. I mean there is a little thing called voice mail. Cellphones
are ruling our lives, is it just because they are so easy to take anywhere and
it is so easy to get in touch with everyone? I dont' know, but I do know I
haven't lost my common courtesy to others, unlike some people. Please people
remember to turn off the cellphones or atleast put it on silent, or if you do
need to answer it right then and there when the class is going then please take
the phone outside.
Supreme-Finess 02/02/01 2:48
PM RE: Celphone rage
This reply is in response to snowhawaii's cellphone rage posted on
the 01/31/01. I must admit that I a cell phone going off in the middle of a
lecture does draw attention away from the lecture. It is also irritating, and
snowhawaii, I feel your pain. lol. However, I could think of something much
worse than that when it comes to cellophone rage. I hate it when someone on the
phone is talking loudly and they are letting the whole world in on their
conversation. I think it is so rude, I mean especially if it is an intimate
conversation or a personal conversation. This person was talking to his
girlfriend really loud, I mean you could hear the person go "I wubba
woo" and get all icky and googley on the phone. Maybe I was just upset
because I dont have anybody anymore and I was just mad that somebody had a good
relationship and it wasnt me, oh well, Im not apologizing for that because I
cant help what I feel but, Cell phone ringing and loud phone conversations are
irritating and I would suggest that if anybody is gonna have a heated, loud,
emotional, or luvy duvy kind of conversation please save it for after class and
in the privacy of... well lets just say make sure no that the whole world cant
listen to your conversation.
Daniel1978 02/02/01 9:36 AM RE: Celphone rage
Yes. I totally agree with you. I own a cell phone and use it a
lot, But I also have the common sense to turn it off in class and in movie
theatres. I HATE it when people answer their cell in a movie theatre and speak
into it as loud as they possibly can. Imagine if they started talking to the
person next to them in that tone of voice? Every one in the theatre would throw
popcorn at them. If you NEED to leave your cell on in the library or in a
theatre, can't you just pick up the phone and say "hang on," walk out
of the theatre and THEN start talking? I wonder if those people have
intelligent reasons for acting like idiots.
cjn 02/01/01 9:53 PM RE: Celphone rage
I completely agree. Cellphones should be turned off in places
where there should not be any distraction such as libraries, classroom, movie
theaters... . I especially hate it when, in movie theaters, people start
answering their cell right then and there. There is also the classroom. I
remember the first day of class last semester, there was this girl whose
cellphone rang while the class was in session, and I saw her turn off her cell
phone. Then I went to my next class and heard a cellphone ring again ( the same
exact ring) so I turned my head to look who it was, and guess what, it was the
same girl. I got irritated. Why couldn't she turned off her cell for the next
class? Didn't she learn something in the previous class? I really don't get it.
oshale 02/01/01 11:54 AM RE: Celphone rage
I totally agree with this rage, because i have it all the time. It
is worse in sinclair library i think. These students, usually are younger like
freshmen or sophomores. i think they want attention so much. that is the only
explanation and many times, they don't use the library facilities as a place of
studying but socializing. If you watch them, they are more busy talking on the
cell phones or talking with another, than actually reading a textbook or
engaging in any kind of studying. They should be punished! The library should
have more strict rule to enforce that these phones to be turned off or set at a
silent mode so that the other students won't be disturbed. it is a common
curtesy but we know that many people in this world lack such thing. so if we
can't change the world completely we can at least try to enforce rules so that
it is controlled somehow.
snowhawaii 01/31/01 2:16 PM Celphone rage
I was studying at Sinclair library as usual. This time, it was
quiet(yes, I discussed about "library rage" the other day) and I was
concentrating on my reading.However, the unpleasant and annoying melody broke
the silence.The girl who answered her phone started talking in the study
room.Maybe she couldn't hear the caller's voice well. Her voice got louder, but
she didn't realize that. It last probably 5mins or also. It's not that long.But
the time doesn't matter. What she was supposed to do is to go outside. That's
the common rule. She even should've turn off the cell phone or make it vibrate.
Her phone didn't sound emergency. She didn't try to talk soft. What she did was
disturbing all other people's study by her rude manner.One of my friend told me
about her strict professor. In his class, he takes attendance. But if the
cellphone rings in the class, his/her attendance will be canceled. If the phone
rings in the exam or quize, the student will loose some percentage of his/her
score. She explained to me indignantly how strict he is. But for me, it doesn't
sound strict at all. The professor had to make such rules because his lectures
were distrbed so many times by the cellphone. I usually sit in the front in my
classes because I wanna listen well to the lecture. But whenever somedody's
celphone rings, my attention gets disturbed. I really do understand how the
professor feels if the cellphone rings when he/she is giving lectures.
silverfox2001 01/31/01 7:39
PM Users and abusers
Its 6:00p.m. and I'm driving home and all I can think about is
homework and kicking off my shoes. I get home and open the door, set my things
down turn towards the kitchen and see someone that uses people and abuse them.
I will call him, an associate, who is my roommates friend. My rage has just
went from 1 to 10 in a matter of seconds. This person feels he can just drop in
at anytime, whether my roommate is at home or not. I have told this associate
if my roommate is not at home don't stop by because I don't want you in my
house. He just don't get the message. So I start slamming things around inthe
kitchen and my roommate comes in and tell him "you got to go for now,
until she comes down." It takes me about a good 15 minutes to get rid of
that rage to being my old self again. The psychological part of it is that my
roommate does not know how to let go of bad elements around him. That this
person will continously beg for things and have no respect for personal domain,
like my room and my bathroom! I have come to the point of locking everything up
that belongs to me.
Number11BUS 02/03/01 10:49 PM RE: employer rage
Hi oshale,Just to let you know, you are right on. The VERY BEST
TIME to look for a new job is when you HAVE ONE. Commission sales is a very
difficult job for many of us. I, for one, don't like to part people from their
money. If they want it they will ask for it. If they don't, it's not my place
for force it on them. It seems dishonest somehow. But that's just me. So, I
don't work in commissions and made that decision to not work on commission a
long, long, long, long, time ago. DFS is under a lot of pressure now that the
new store is open and the lease % will have to be paid. It come just as there
is a slow-down in the traveling industry as well. So, the feel pressure, they
exert pressure. ON YOU. Sad. Hope you find the new job you want and move on
with your life feeling more satisfied. (Leave the boss a copy of the book
too-some hints are better left behind anomously). Cheers,Number11BUS
purple848 02/03/01 5:10 PM RE: employer rage
I can understand how you feel. You are in a harsh situation at
work. Your company's new policy purposing to increase its profit pressured you
to devote more of your energy, and your supervisor's inhumane attitude
discouraged you. I think people who are at higher position at work should
obtain a human skill, or they are not entitled to that position. Your
supervisor definitely need a human skill. A senior worker of my former work
told me one time that she had been happy to work with/for her former
supervisor, although she had to work like a dog everyday. Her former supervisor
had a pleasant personality, and had never forgotten a word of appreciation to
his subordinants. But ever since the other person who has a bad reputation for
bossy attitude took her former supervisor's place, the motivation and
harmonious atmosphere in her section seemed to be disappeared. The supervisos'
attitude is the key for employees' motivation and effectiveness of their job
performance. Your supervisor needs to change his/her attitude. How about giving
our textbook of Goleman as a gift for his/her birthday? Hopefully, your
supervisor will get a message.
oshale 02/01/01 12:10 PM employer rage
I currently work in Waikiki store as a salesperson. I get pretty
good hourly but it is the commission that makes this job really good. or i
thought so. but for the past few months, including past month, month of january
was the worst month since i started working at this store 1 and a 1/2 years
ago. but we are moving to the new waikiki walk in dfs and we had a meeting. Our
commission is very hard. have to make nightly $2200 in sales to earn $10 in
commission and every $500 in sales earn us additional $10. however, i was told
by the owner that they were going to raise the commission quota by $2500! I
thought when they told us they were gonna change commission, i thought they
would lower it not raise it! it is already so difficult to make commission as
it is and now it is like impossible. They also want us to call out to customer
like it is international market place(so humiliating!) and working in a smaller
area. I was also angry the way they approached us. it was an individual meeting
and it was so direct in lacking emotion. They said, you need to improve
customer service, need to be more aggressive, need to raise sales, just what
they want and want. they don't even pay attention to our needs, the employee's
needs. it's like their tone is if you don't like what i say, leave. i am
seriously thinking about quitting. before we had this talk, i wanted to do
better in sales and all that, but i just lost that motivation and i feel like i
am not gaining anything by this. i feel like they are just using me for their
business without anykind of appreciation. I haven't approached them about my
thoughts but when i find a new job, i will abpproach them and tell them how i
feel.
oshale 02/01/01 12:21 PM coworker rage
I work in DFS and there are many Japanese ladies who work there. i
don't know if you heard but they are very tough. they think they are such a
great people working at such a great companies. they let you know what they
think and how they think. they will make sure you know they are are older than
you and are experience and talk to you as if you are their children or
something. anyway this was an incident few weeks ago. it was at employee lounge
and there are 2 tvs. at that time, there were bunch of korean ladies watching
korean program. then, this japanese lady came and just changed the channel as
if nobody was watching. so i said, excuse me, i was watching that! and she
said,'here, everyone has to watch japanese or english program' and i said,
where does it say that? and she was like that is how it is. I thought she was
so racist. i know japanese people can be so racist but her remark was enraging.
i said, there were only korean people in here. why do we have to watch japanese
program? and she had nothing to say. she just walked over to the other table
full of japanese ladies and she just started to talk to them, probably about
me. but i didn't care. who does she think she is? The TV is for all the
employees to share and i know if i was watching only for me i would be selfish
but there were at least 5 other people around the tv watching it. who gave her
the right to say everyone has to watch japanese program? Nothing was changed
after this incident. but she tries to act nicer to me, offering cookies when i
was alone but she didn't apologize to me. i don't care about the cookies,i want
an apology!
skyblue 02/02/01 11:15 AM SWR#2: Road Rager Cuts Me Off Twice!!!
Several days ago, I entered the H-1 freeway with intentions of
cutting into the far left lane. I was in a rush to pick up my mom at her
working place and wanted to reach my destination in less than fifteen minutes.
First, I drove faster in the right lane. Second, I signaled my left blinker.
Third, I turned around to check if the middle lane was clear. Indeed, the way
was clear to cut into the next lane. As I proceeded to switch lanes, the guy
driving behind of me cut into the middle lane without letting me go first. He
didn't turn on his left blinker. The driver decided to signal and drive past me
only when he saw that my car about to move into the middle lane. I had no
choice, but to cut behind of his car. He cut me off the first time! I repeated
the same steps(1-3)with the exception of switching from the middle to the left
lane. Again, he chose to cut me off! This time I was so angry at him! I
accelerated the gas pedal and tailgated him in the left lane. When I switched
back into the middle lane and drove beside him, I rolled down my windows,
turned my head three times to look at him, and drove away. The guy didn't have
the guts to look at me. He continued to drive slowly without turning his head.
In those few seconds, I wanted to yell, "Why did you cut me off
twice?!" However, I didn't say anything because I realized that it
wouldn't be worth wasting my time and energy to drill some decency into that
driver's head! I figured that he was in a road rage mood, and he deliberately
chose me to be his target for that moment and time.
gemini-gal 02/04/01 11:17 PM RE: SWR#2 Rage of the Heart
Oh my God! I know exactly what you are going through! My boyfriend
of almost 7 years (yes, seven!) broke up with me in December 2000 during finals
week!!! He isn't a jerk but he was one when he chose finals week to break up
with me. I mean he could've waited until after finals week to break up with me.
That was unnecessary stress! Anyway, my situation was that he was living in
Florida and I was in Hawaii. He moved to Florida from Hawaii a year and a half
ago. We've been in a long distance relationship since then. I know how it feels
to have your heart shattered because that's what happened to me. Our break up
happened out of nowhere. I thought things were going fine but at the drop of a
hat, he wants to break up with me. He said he needed to do his own thing for a
while and that he didn't want to have any obligations in a relationship. I
wasn't expecting us to break up but in my heart, I was in denial. I knew that
our break up would've came sooner or later. I was pretty much lying to myself
and couldn't admit that I fell out of love with him. But in a strange twist of
fate, he was the one that broke up with me and told me that he fell out of love
with me first before I could tell him how I truly felt. I am dealing with our
break up now and its sad that I let it get that far because I was lying to
myself. I was unhappy with our relationship for a while and the distance thing
made it so much harder. I guess we grew apart. But now that I am single, I have
to think of myself and not "we" like you said! Its hard because after
being with someone for so long, you merge your identity with theirs and now
that you're detached, it's hard to "find" yourself again. Have you
ever thought that it was her loss and not yours? People who are broken up
always tries to make the wrongs into rights but maybe God just meant for it to
be that way. Just remember that God doesn't make you go through things that he
thinks you cannot handle. Everything happens for a reason. At least you have
been in love once because some people live their whole lives without really and
truly falling in love. Don't deny yourself grief. Make sure you deal with your
emotions and try to be positive about your life! Turn to your friends or family
for support. Sometimes it helps just to talk about it. I am sad that I don't
have a companion to come home to and I miss feeling secure within a relationship
but I am growing to accept it everyday. Now is the time to reflect on yourself
and what is best for you. You owe yourself that much so try not to focus on
your break up too much. It's hard but remember you are not alone! Let me tell
you this much before I go. My sister gave me this and I would like to pass it
on to you. Hopefully this will help you shed some light on your break up and
your rage of the heart!Letting go is not to try to change or blame others-but
to make the most of myself.Letting go is not to adjust everything to my
desires-but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.Letting go is
to admit my own powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my
hands.Letting go is to fear less and love more.Letting go is not to regret the
past-but to grow and live in the present.Letting go is not to deny but to
accept.I hope that makes you feel a little better and helps you slowly let go
of the broken relationship.
MadHatter808 02/02/01 3:30 PM RE: SWR#2 Rage of the Heart
Hey,It's gonna be all right. I know it's easier said than done.
You ever heard of that saying, "there's a thin line between love and
hate?" Not that you hate her now... but it's just that with *attachment*
comes a lot of expectation and that love becomes conditioned... it can turn
sour if we lose it. But real love is unconditional and it was found in our
great religious masters like Jesus and Buddha... they loved everyone even if
they were to leave them... that kind of love is not based on dependence and the
idea of, if I love you, then you have to love me back. I know we aren't Jesus
or Buddha and in practical affairs of the heart, there is a level of dependence
and expectation for reciprocation. The only advice I can give you is to try
your best to let go. I heard from my abnormal psych class last semester that it
takes about twice as long as the relationship itself to get over the
relationship and inevitably, everything shall heal with time. You just have to
be strong and do things that will make you happy and that can have a positive
imapct on your life as well as those around you. Depression and anger will kill
you and no one needs to go through that. Take care of yourself and look after
your needs and try not to mull over what's been *lost*. Sometimes what's lost
is an opportunity to gain elsewhere so everything is just one big balancing
act... You can't force anyone to love you back but can only accept the gifts in
life that come to you graciously... like you said, you were lucky to have
experienced that love once. Well then, go on loving and maybe you'll be doubly
lucky to have experienced it twice! :) But remember the lessons you've learned
or have yet to learn from your previous relationships so that you can always
improve yourself and the quality of your future relationships with others.
Supreme-Finess 02/02/01 2:19
PM SWR#2 Rage of the Heart
Do you know what it is like to build your life around somebody for
six years, and have your whole world shatter into a million pieces and you are
there all by yourself to pick up all the pieces of what you had? I do. I swear
if love was a person I would kick his ass and not think about it twice. Love
dont love anybody, it shows no discrimination. It could be there one day and be
fine and dandy; then next thing you know it is gone, it doesnt care how much
you love the person; it doesnt care how much time and effort you invested into
the relationship because once it is gone... it is gone. This enraged me so much
because all this time I had am so used to thinking about the "we" in
our relationship now I am forced to think about "I", how does one get
used to that after years of being with someone? If I could change the the
things that made her unhappy I would do it in a blink of an eye. But it is not
up to me anymore, I showed her how much I care, how much I love her, I would do
anything to have her back into my life. I wish she could just look into my
mind, only then she would know how much I feel about her. I miss the way I
would brush her hair after she came out of the shower, and the way it smelled
when she lay next to me. Now it is gone, remember people when you have someone
special you must hold onto it with both hands and never let go, because once
it's gone, it is gone. This is what fills my heart with rage, being powerless,
not being able to do anything about it. This gives me so much rage I want to
just disappear and fade away into nothing... does anybody know what I am
talking about? Well pure passion and bliss comes once in a lifetime and I was
blessed to have met that person, I would never forget how she made me feel...so
real. A love so real that you could reach out your hand and touch it. You ever
had something like that? Well, that is what I want. And it fills me with so
much rage to have had that and to have lost it. If this class is about rage,
then I surely have a good example. As far as the aftermath, well, I'm all
alone, with alot of time to think about this, and in retrospect I would do
things to make things right but get this people, when its over..its over.
Psychologically I must be able to control my rage now, no matter how hard it is
for me to do so. I cant let it swallow me and take over. I cant let it win
because it will destroy me inside. I must still focus on my studies, and cant
let them suffer because of it, I must be strong, I've cried, I've tried, now I
must pick up the shattered pieces and try to continue on somehow. Learning how
to cope with rage is something that i fall short on, perhaps I will learn how
to be better in this endeavor, i could only hope to.
snowhawaii 02/02/01 2:28 PM busybody rage
I think it's good to share your opinion or comments with your
classmates. But in the case that teacher gives you chance to state your
opinion, or your comments doesn't take long.Some students don't seem to get
this, they don't care to interrupt the teacher's lecture and keep talking as if
they were guest speakers or something. It makes me irritated especially when
the lecture cannot be finished because of such a solo performer.Can't they hold
till after the class? Then, they can talk to the teacher. If the teacher likes
their opinion or comment, she can tell us in the next class. Especially MWF
classes are only 50-min class. Most of teachers have their procedure or
curriculum for each lecture.In my today's class, the teacher was going to talk
about exam coming up in next week, however she didn't have enough time to do
so.I wanted to hear about exams rather than your long performance!
Daniel1978 02/04/01 10:24 AM RE: Bus Rage
YEs. I know EXACTLY what you mean. The buses that run every five
minutes, it's understandable if a bus that comes every five minutes (Like the
nimber 8) does not wait for everyone to get on board. But the buses that only
run every 1/2 hour....why do they always slam the doors right in your face. I
know the bus drivers are miserable, it's visually obvious, but why do they need
to take it out on the passangers? I always go out of my way to get out the
front and say "Thank You" to the bus driver. When I get the doors
slammed in my face, I feel angry. When I get on the next bus, I want to be
cruel to the bus driver. It's a terrible cycle. The whole reason the bus driver
are reude could be that they have rude customers. BUT it IS a SERVICE industry.
They don't have to lick the bottom of my shoe, but they should be nice.
ktootree 02/02/01 3:48 PM Bus Rage
Last Friday, I decided to catch the bus all the way home (in
Mililani) instead of going to Salt Lake, where I usually go. I just wanted to
go home and relax. I got out of class around 12:15 and was going to catch the
Express bus that goes to Ala Moana. When I was walking down to the bus stop, I
saw the bus leave, which meant that I would have to wait for the next bus. I
felt like getting upset, but I caught myself and remained calm. About 5 minutes
later, the #18 bus which also goes to Ala Moana arrived. Thinking maybe I would
be able to make it to Ala Moana 1 (which is when my bus for Mililani leaves), I
caught that bus. Little did I know that there was major construction on that
particular bus route and that there was a long line of traffic. I kept looking
at the time, and as the time got closer to 1, I got more impatient. 1 ‘o clock
had passed and I was still on the bus. I got extremely upset, but it dissipated
quite fast because I told myself that I can be at Ala Moana in time to catch
the next one, which would be at 1:30. Well, it was 1:15 and I was 5 minutes
away from Ala Moana, so I felt pretty good about making it in time. We were
coming to my stop and then I looked out the window and saw people going onto
the bus I had to catch! I hurried off the bus I was on, but of course, it seems
like everyone is moving so slow when you need to get somewhere in a hurry. I
quickly went around them and when I was 5 steps away from the bus I had to
catch, it happened. The bus driver closed the door and started leaving! I was
so mad not only because I was so close, but also because that bus driver
decided to leave a few minutes earlier, plus I knew he saw me. Then I quickly
tried to get to the other bus stop, which would mean going through the mall to
get to the opposite end. I dodged people again. In my mind I was telling them,
“Move! Hurry!” This time I was about 20 or so steps away from the bus, and yes,
it left again. My face probably looked like I wanted to fight someone because I
was so full with rage inside. I just paced back and forth in the hot sun and
thought to myself, “I should have just caught the Salt Lake bus. I just should
have waited for the next Express instead of catching the #18.” But, being
determined not to let my rage get the best of me “totally,” I waited for the
next one. The next bus arrived and I just listened to music to try and calm
down because I had a very long walk home to look forward to since the bus stop
is far away from where I live. I was relieved when I finally got home and just
took a shower to try and forget about what had happened. This has happened to
me a few times before, and yes, I did get enraged before, but this time the rage
wasn’t as bad as the earlier times, so I feel like I’m getting better at
handling those kinds of situations—slowly, but surely. =)
MAX676 02/02/01 6:24 PM RE: Too much stuff
We all go through ups and down through the process of life, and
sometimes it is difficult to realize that we are the only one's who can control
our problems. I don't know the complete details of you predicament, but I do
know that no one can afford to be disrespectful to others'. It is a dangerous
way of living. For example, if I pushed someone in order to be the first one on
the bus because my life was not in order, this does not give me an excuse. He
might think that you just don't care, and he might throw a punch. People don't
know you intentions, and if your life is not in order, other people will think
you are 'a disrespectful person. If I were in you predicament, I would try not
to do so many things at once. It would be a better idea to do a small amount of
things. This way, you will get better results. Anyway, I hope you can reduce
you stress. Good Luck!
MadHatter808 02/02/01 4:33 PM Too much stuff
Since the start of school, I've been running around like a chicken
without a head. I have four upper division classes (including two WIs), and a
job that keeps me up till 10pm everyday (at least for another week) with
another job soon kicking in. Yes, I felt a little overwhelmed and so decided to
drop one of my classes so I can focus on doing well in my psych classes.
Needless to say, my graduation will be delayed till after the summer is over.
On top of that, having relationship issues to deal with and friend's problems
to worry about has also been draining my time. Don't get me wrong, I like to
help people when I can but I often find myself overextending myself... Anyway,
having all of this loaded on me has caused me to have a shorter wick with
people... I've been more curt and somewhat ruder for example... I notice that
when I want to get things done, I'm more pushy about it (like trying to get to
the front of the line when I'm boarding the bus or rushing to get my papers
printed up in lab without as much consideration for others). I don't like to
not be able to think about what I'm doing but just going around like a robot to
get things done b/c I feel it has made me less reflective of my actions. While
it's a lot of little things that puts a premium on my time, it's those very
things that translates into rage in public places
MadHatter808 02/02/01 4:39 PM Raging at inanimate things
One of the stupidest rages I can think of is demonstrating anger
at inanimate things when they don't go your way. For example, I'm on a computer
a lot and when things don't go fast enough (I'm a real speed demon!), I start
cursing inside about what a retarded computer I'm dealing with and think I may
make other people around me uncomfortable because of my rising anger... for
example, this might happen at the clic lab. I know it's stupid b/c a computer
has a chip that can only go so fast, but for some reason, I feel it's more
harmless to let my rage out and inanimate things then the other way around. I'm
doing an experiment with a couple elementary kids I'm helping to tutor where I
separted two identical roses and asked them to say one nice thing and one mean
thing to each rose every morning before they go to school... so far the rose in
which the mean things were being said to it is wilting faster than the other
one... this was to get them to see how saying mean things to each other
(they're brother and sister) can cause harm in the long run... anyway, sort of
a a different take on the animate v. inanimate things example... sorry, sorta
went off course! :)
Number11BUS 02/03/01 11:09 PM RE: incident at elementary school
Hi virtual-b,I hear and read, often, that the person commiting the
crime is "psychologically" not well. I wonder? I don't mean to
suggest that rage and crazy-making behavior is alright. I do mean to suggest
that the culture, society, economy, influences upon our behaviors is difficult
to negotiate. We need a lot of careing for each other and we don't get enough
of it. Have you ever noticed that when the story is all told, the one that
commits the rage crimes are lonely, sad, angry, alienated beings that just
can't take any more insults, injuries, blames, or failures. Do we notice what
we are really doing to each other in this fast moving world? We need to educate
ourselves and other to the humane way to communicate with each other. We need
to notice when people hurt. Society is rich, it can afford to spend a few
dollars on prevention training for our crazy-making times. This Cool-Board is
one way to reach out to one another. The entire web page is a way to diseminate
information to people who want it but don't know where to get it. The influence
of drugs and alcohol must not be ruled out either. They often are the escape
drug of choice for alienated people. While under the influence, inhibitions are
diluted, but the negative, crazy-making behavior is reinforced. After a while,
the behavior appears without the influencing substance. While some of us are
"psychologically" not well, we can be...with a little help from our
fellow human being. If we start now, with just one person, just think of the
schools, offices, homes, that will remain safe in the future from not helping
to create the crazy-making behaviors to get attention for our needs. We are
acting, as a society, desperate! We need a little more understanding,
education, prevention, caring. We need it now. Number11BUS
virtual-b 02/03/01 11:35 AM RE: incident at elementary school
The guy was probably suffering from some psychological disorder. According to the news, he went back a few hundreds of miles to the school where his ex-wife's children attended. It is sad that schools are not safe anymore. A guy in California allegedly was planning to pipe bomb his community college. And last night, a 16 or 17 year old got stabbed in the chest at the Punahou Carnival. I remember going to a couple of Punahou Carnivals when I was a kid. It was all fun and games then, but now everywhere can be dangerous. Did rage evolve over time and explode into this current state of society? To be frank, I was watching Joe Moore, channel 2 news anchor, break the news of the stabbing, and I was not that s