This is Part 3:

 

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              Part 10       Part 11       Part 12       Part 13       Part 14       

 

 

 

 

 

 

virtual-b 02/03/01 10:53 AM                   RE: Faculty rage

             

 The professor probably was too stressed to notice what he was doing, which was passing the blame on. No one knew what happened to the student's grade, so he blamed the person next in line which unfortunately is you. I remember doing something like that in my former work place. I was a librarian's assistant III for the state library, and we would hold a patron's library card when he or she wanted to look at reserve material. Later, we would return the card when the material was returned, like using a computer lab on campus. However one day, when the patron returned the material, her card could not be found. I was on duty at that point, so I freaked. I blamed this student helper when in the end, it was me who misplaced the card. I did not want to face the complaints from the patron and my supervisor, so I without thought, blamed the next person in line. It was only when the card was found that I remembered that I placed it there. I apologized to the patron and the student helper. Blaming is like rage in the sense that they can be second nature. No thought is required involved when committing such acts. It is only in introspection and in retrospect that we can discover our flaws.

 

TVR   01/30/01 10:18 AM                     RE: Faculty rage

             

 People sometimes can be so inconsiderate. I remember this one time when I was at work and my store manager got upset at me because one of our customers didn't receive one of their orders. On that night, everyone was busy doing there own thing. One of the other managers that night took the order but didn't tell anyone else about it. He left it in the back warehouse and expected someone to do it. By the end of the night, I guess he had forgotten about it so nobody did it. In the end, the manager that took the order was at fault. The store manager did apologize for accusing me and no bad blood was left. I don't think that everyone is inconsiderate. But, I really believe that professors like to take advantage of student help. If I was you I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like your going to be working there for the rest of your life..right!!

 

Number11BUS   01/29/01 9:36 PM                    RE: Faculty rage

             

 Hi sakodash,You hang in there. Don't take blame for Faculty errors. The Secretary was quite correct in coming to your aid. (And the Faculty member KNOWS very well you are not even allowed to post the grades so it is not your fault). A student that does not attend class get an FAT, a Failure to Attend as designated grade and is entered with the last date the professor had contact (if any) with the student. The Facult member was guilty of taking out his/her embarrasment on you because you were handy. It is not nice but it happens in the real world. The computer print-outs are sometimes leaving off a student or having them appear on the wrong sheet. Even these computer errors are human in a way. But data entry is a thankless job most of the time because we forget how repetitive the work can get. Take it all with a grain of salt and remember to be nice to the secretary that keep the records straight. Goodness, what would we do without the secretarial staff at UH. The professors are much too busy and too overburdened most of the time to watch out for all the details and dates. The university has been shortstaffed in all areas, not just paperclips, for years now. Go read a few of the comments under rage at Governor Ben. He has a way of using divide and couquer to keep things riled up between university, staff, community, student. Keep and eye on him. There's more in store. Vote! He can't run again!Cheers,Number11BUS

 

sakodash   01/29/01 9:00 PM     Faculty rage

             

 I work in an office on campus and I normally don't have a reason to get mad just a little irritated at times. I guess I didn't realize it but I get irritated when faculty are asking me to do something for them when they can clearly see that I'm on the phone with someone else. I don't understand why they just can't wait till I'm off or write down what they want from me. The other day I got really angry because I got blamed for doing something that wasn't even my fault. One of our faculty members came storming into the office telling the secretary that the student helpers must have recorded the wrong grade for one of his students last semester. The student was supposed to get an A but received an F. Being that I'm the only student helper, it was suddenly all my fault to him. Thank God the secretary kept copies of the grade sheets and found out that the student wasn't even on his grade sheet--he wasn't even supposed to be in his class but changed sections without actually registering for that section. So of course he got an F because he was on somebody elses class list and to them, he never showed up for class. I just hate it how it's so easily my fault just because I'm the lowly student helper!! He didn't even apologize for blaming me--I don't even think he even realized it was his fault for not checking his class list and not knowing his students. Instead, he blamed the student. I hate that!!

 

kathyhirokane 01/30/01 4:08 PM            RE: Political Rage

             

 hey number11,i totally know how you feel! it gets me pretty irritated when i hear of people not going out to vote. when i turned 18, i really wanted to get out there and vote and voice my opinion. i think that people should all exercise their right, especially women (who only recently got the right to vote in america). personally, i am tired of how the democrats have been running hawaii and it is time for change!! i can't stand how people who voted for cayetano and all his cronies, complain about current situations. everyone complains that we need change, yet no one has the guts to vote these guys out of office! the change starts with us, the community, and we need to be more vocal until we get that change!!

 

Number11BUS   01/29/01 10:07 PM                  Political Rage

             

 Given the recent elections as example, people thought they got what they wanted. Were they right? Were they wrong? We think that if we exercise our right to vote we can make a difference. In Hawaii, not many of of voted during the most recent election. Less than 35% of the registered voters participated. This made me really angry at first. I thought people were disinterested. Upon reflection I can thing several ways at once. 1. They don't think their vote matters. 2. Their vote doesn't matter. 3. They don't have the tools to make a decision they feel comfortable with. 4. They are too busy just trying to make ends meet to have time to weigh the pros and cons of their vote. 5. They opt out of the system because they feel alienated from the system. 6. They got what they deserved. WE ar the THEY. Just what do you think happened. We don't seem to be very happy with what we got in Hawaii. It may not be party related at all. It may be something else. I'm not angry about it anymore...but I am a little scared about the possible futures if we don't pay close attention to what is happening around us now. I would say I have post-election PTSD. Just thought I'd share...CheersNumber11Bus

 

PHYRE2001   01/30/01 12:50 PM                      SWR: CUSTOMERS!!

             

 Whenever you get a new job, it always seems so good to you. You find yourself being so nice to everyone, and you actually enjoy going to work. Even the worst, irrate customers don't seem to bother, going on the fact that you just enjoy being there. Then, one day comes where it is no longer the nice guy. And those once pleasant thank yous to those most irrate customers are gone. One day is just magically dissappears and a customer takes you to the limit. One question before I go to my report, why is that? Why is it that one day you no longer feel pleasant at work. Where does all that go? Anyhow on to my report. I work at a banking, and almost everyone know that banking is definately workplace rage. I never knew what that mean until I finally felt it. It happened to me before, but I guess it never really bothered me before because I was new. Giving a customer money is part of the bussiness for me. As a nice gesture you always ask the customer, in what denominations would you like your cash back. In some cases, they actually do tell you, but in others they respond "it does not matter." Then you proceed to count their money back, and all of a sudden its all wrong. They no longer want that, and you become the bad guy. I don't understand why they say it does not matter when it actually does. It would not be so bad if they would politely ask for other denominations. But no, they get so angry at you, like your suppose to read their mind. You can feel your face feel red, and you wish you could fly the money in their face. Can you imagine their reaction!! But, you don't , you take it all in and realize , "Yeah, its all part of the job'!!"

 

skyblue   02/02/01 1:19 PM                    RE: mad at the media/and related

             

 I fully agree with your views that the media puts a lot of pressure on both genders, especially women conforming to societies' approval of appearing to look beautiful. Humans are not perfect at all! I am aware of my flaws that I cannot change. The media places too much emphasis in advertising to the consumers about their ideal image of males and females because their messages and ads sometimes focus on only one part of the body. The typical ads may feature mens' biceps and or butt, womens' cleavage or buttocks. In addition, the latest computer/media technology are used to hide their flaws. Unfortunately, the media hasn't come to grips with the fact that men and women come in all shapes and sizes--pear, apple, v-shape, or short, tall, and many more!

 

Watashi_No 01/30/01 1:31 PM               mad at the media/and related

             

 I'm tired of the media telling me what is supposed to be beautiful. All the commercials for make-up and clothes and different things that does wonders for everything from a person's lips to a person's toes. Even for the second Survivor show in an interview with one of the people for the show said something like "this time more people showed up to play the game so they could choose [pretty] people", I'm guessing instead of having to settle for the people that was there they could pick because there wasn't any other choice with the first Survivor show. It's a sad world that all the glitz and glamour rule so many people's lives, and it's just because the media portrays certain things, (which a very small percentage of the population even has without cosmetic surgery etc.) as beautiful and if you don't have it and want to be a "star" then you have to change your looks to be sexier or more in tune to what the media portrays (and what people seem to like just because the media portrays it as something others want). Don't get me wrong I do wear make-up but not because the media or commercials tell me to, and I wear clothes that I like and feel comfortable in. It's kind of sickening also to see all the celebrities spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on their weddings (*cough* Douglas/Zeta Jones *cough*) and parties and there are hundreds of homeless people who could use the money!!And the other side of the media where they kill a story just by playing things over and over and over again, a million times where every single station has something on it. But I think I'm being too pessimistic right now, I know the media does contribute alot of good things, and celebrities do have charities etc. for the not so fortunate people but I think the charities are too few and too far between, unless there's not that much coverage on them. Oh well, that's my rant for today :)

 

lavaflow 01/31/01 10:35 PM       RE: parent rage

             

 I understand how the saound of crying baby can be a big disturbance especially when we are supposed to enjoy dinner with family at a restaurant. I think what makes us irritated is that parents don't try anyting to stop it. If we can see parents' effort, we don't get much irritated even if a baby keeps crying for the same amount of time. I assume that the couple you met often let their baby to cry at any time or at any place without regarding either at their own home or in public places. I saw a couple of time on the bus that a parent let her child to keep screaming or to make annoying sound with a stick.

 

Dahlin 01/30/01 3:01 PM                       parent rage

             

 Last week, my husband, daughter and I ate out at Chili's Restuarant. Either my husband or I held our daughter Isabella the entire time. She loves to look around at all the new and interesting things. I enjoy holding her up to see her wonderful world, plus she wouldn't be content to lay in her infant seat looking at the ground or ceiling. My rage occurred when another couple allowed their infant to cry for ten minutes or longer while they ate their dinners. At first I casually looked over to see exactly what was going on. After I realized they simply were not picking that baby up I started making my looks very obvious, in effort to embarass the couple into doing something. I just couldn't understand why that couple let their baby cry endlessly while they ate. I felt sorry for the baby and the other patrons in the restuarant. It was a very disturbing scene, and it almost ruined the last part of my dinner with my husband.

 

Supreme-Finess 01/30/01 3:42 PM                      Self-witnessing report #1

             

 Just the other day I had an episode of rage that I would like to comment on. In order for you to understand my perspective, let me provide you with a little background information. On the 27th of this month was my girlfriend's birthday, which fell on a Saturday. I had gotten paid a day earlier which was a Friday and I needed to cash my paycheck and come into work by 5 o'clock so I was very pressed for time. I had to cash my check and fly over to the florist and have roses delivered to her and I needed this done before my shift. As I made my way to the bank an SUV driven by a male was in front of me. We were both in a residential district so the speed limit was somewhere between 20 and 25mph. This guy was going like 10-12 mph. I immediately became frustrated. And if there is one thing I learned in this course so far was that frustration is also considered rage. Nevertheless I became very upset because I was not going to make it in time before the bank closed and I really wanted to get those flowers to my girlfriend. So what I did was speed up and pass the person. I was frustrated and i took action. Here's where I learned a valuable lesson. I should have controlled my frustration better because in the end I still was late to get to the bank and was unable to get the flowers in time for her birthday anyways.

 

rie2001 01/30/01 3:55 PM                      My Road rage

             

 I have to confess something here... I had one big road rage last night.I was driving on Ala Moana Blvd. toward East. There was a silver civic in front of me. That car was loaded, had huge air spoiler stinking into the air and huge exaust, dropped, wore big rim. We stopped at the light, and I realized that the driver of civic was looking at me from the side mirror. Then he started revving so hard, tapping his brake repeatedly and cheking how I react. He was obviously trying to provoke me. He started his car, swithed the lane and waited for me to catch up with him. I also swiched the lane because I didn't want to race with him. I guess he got mad because I didn't respond. But I was actually irritated. As he drives, he suddenly stepped on the brake, the tires made squeaky sounds and smoke came out. I didn't want to smash into his rear so I switched the lane and passed his car. He tailgated me really closely. I finally lost my temper. By this time, we were on Kapiolani Ave. I sped up, and we got on H1. From Kapiolani to the end of H1 was too short for race. After the end of H1, I slowed down and let him go, and stepped on the brake and made U-turn. He had to go straight toward Hawaii Kai. Then I ran away.I was raged at that stupid civic, but I shouldn't have race with him. I drove back to town. I was going to my friend's party but was late already. My friends were wondering where I had been. I told them what was happened, and my good friend really got mad at me for racing with one of the wanna be racers. They said "Girls usually don't race!!" Sexist?Well... I need to think about my driving behavior. Honestly, I like to race (or in oassenger seat while somebody race with others) but as I think about the danger of street racing, I have to admit that it is stupid habit.

 

rie2001 01/30/01 6:15 PM                      My rage #2

             

 I confessed my rage experience a couple hours ago, but some more things to add here....I was heading to Makiki Post office this afternoon. I drove down Lunalilo, but the road was under construction. I couldn't make turn to the Post Office because cones were blocking the entrance. But there were a few cars parked at parking space so the Post office must be open. I asked a police man standing there how can I get Post Office. He told me to go down Pensacola and go in there. So I did, although that was one-way and I wasn't supposed to go in, I thought that's OK because that's what police told me. Another police man was standing in the parking space, and before I park my car, he came up to me and knock my window. He said "Didn't you see the sign there? NO-ENTER!! IT'S ONE-WAY!!" He was so rude. I was pissed and told him that I just did what the police told me. He seemed to be very upset, and he went " Who told you? When??? Huh, you tell me, when!?" I said " That guy, right there! He told me only a minutes ago!" He said " No ways, miss, you come in to the wrong way. Who told you? Huh?" I thought he is a deaf or something.His attitude is not appropriate as a Police man at all. He seemed to just try to put me down. I was so upset, but he just left, saying something loudly to himself. I am so regret that I didn't see his name tag or somethig so that I could report it to the Police station. I didn't even go into the Post Office and left. Another thing was about last night. I was driving around Kaimuki, the road was empty and pretty dark. I didn't realize that the police man was standing in the middle of the road and tried picking up something from the ground. I almost ran over him because I couldn't see him. Of course he was wearing dark-navy blue police uniform, black hair, no lights or anything noticable in the dark. What's the hell was he doing there in the dark by himself? Luckily, I wasn't speeding so I didn't run over him.It is scarely that pedetrian trys crossing anywhere on the road, especially in the dark. No matter how carefully we are driving, sometimes we just can't see the pedestrians in such a dark night. If I run over him, whose fault it is going to be? I guess mine. Especially a victim was a police man. All I can do is to become a extremely careful driver.

 

kathyhirokane 01/30/01 9:19 PM            RE: A little bit of rage paid off!!

             

 mightymouse,i have had a similar experience with longs drugs! i had called in a prescription, but did not pick it up until 3-4 days later. well, when i went to pick it up, the lady told me that if you don't come to pick it up within 2 days, they re-shelve your medicine and you have to put in your prescription again! the real kicker was that my prescription had expired after i had called it in to longs, so i had to get a brand new prescription from my doctor! the next time i went to longs i made sure that i knew exactly what their policy was on how long you have to pick up prescriptions. sometimes i think they are sticklers over every little thing!!! i'm glad to hear that they took your complaint seriously!

 

mightymousesa   01/30/01 6:31 PM                    A little bit of rage paid off!!

             

 Yesterday, I had to go and pick up a perscription at Longs. I called in my order to the answering service and it replied that my perscription would be ready at 6:00pm. So at 6:15 I head out of my apartment, fight traffic, find parking, and enter the drug store. I go to the back and wait for 45 min. till I am next to be waited on and I give the girl my name so she can get the prescription. She looks and finds a note instead of the medicine. She replies to me that since one of my perscriptions was filled at another store she is going to have to fine me $3 and I won't be able to get my perscription till tomorrow! I ask her to explain to me then why the answering service recognized my perscription and confirmed I could pick it up. Shje explained that they had the info, and it was still correct but it was policy to charge the $3 if you ever fill your perscription somewhere else. I start to lose my temper and ask for the head pharmacist. He comes up and I go off! "You mean to tell me that you have the info, you have the medicine,your machine comfirmed on my phone call that I could get my medicine, but you are going to charge me three bucks, make me wait till tomorrow, after I had to make it all the way down here in traffic!!!!" He just stuttered and finally said yes. I lost it right there, "Well then I think all of your customers deserve to know this!!!" All of a sudden the people who were waiting around me started chimming in with me. One little old woman even said "I 'm not shopping here anymore if you waste people's time like that!" I had not been aware of how many people had watched the entire situation until I walked out and got to my car. The good news is that when I got home there was a message on my answering machine from the manager apologizing for the inccident and hoping I would continue to shop at Longs in the future

 

snowhawaii 02/02/01 2:08 PM    RE: Elevator rage

             

 Yes, I do understand your rage.I feel same way if I have the same situation.As you said, being late was your fault, but the guy should've cared about other people too. If I were him, I wouldn't stop the elevator if somebody was in. Especially he's talking to his mother, why can't he talk to her before he leaves?Talking about elevator rage remainds me "escalator rage". I often had this rage before I came to Hawaii.Many train stations have escalators. The common rule is standing on one side and leave the other side for people in hurry, who usually walk up the escaltor. But some people(many times middle-aged or older ladies) don't know this rule or just ignore it, they stand side by side bloking one side so that it causes a long line behind them. Many people like students or commuters are in hurry to change trains, but this blocking escalator happens often. I remember it made me so irritated!

 

Daniel1978   02/02/01 9:25 AM             RE: Elevator rage

             

 I don't feel that you were in the wrong. I can't stand it when people do that. With road rage, and for example: speeding in traffic, You're putting other people's lives at RISK. If you drive slowly on the freeway, you're doing as you're supposed to do and not driving recklessly. Holding the elevator up when there are people in it is just plain rude. The only thing that guy was doing was making people wait. He was making you wait, he was making the people on the ground floor wait, he was making all the people in the building wait. There was no reason he could not have caught the next one. If he's not in a hurry, he can catch the next one. IF someone tries to do that while I'm in the elevator, I'll either cough or say something politely. It usually works. I UNDERSTAND YOUR RAGE!!!!

 

lavaflow 01/30/01 6:52 PM                    Elevator rage

             

 It was a small rage. On that day I had a class starting from 9:00AM. I was a little late to leave my place to catch the bus. While waiting for the elevator, I started blaming myself about being unable to leave my place five minutes earlier or wake up a little earlier instead of keep turning off the alarm so that I didn't have to be in such hurry. I estimated that if the elevator went straight down without stopping any floors, there were still chance that I could catch my bus. However, of course there were always some innocent interruptions to my selfish hope. The elevator stopped at the 7th floor. One guy came in talking to his mother who was just there to say goodbye to him. The guy kept holding the elevator door with his arm while having conversation for about a minute. And he didn't say anything to me when the door finally closed. It was probably less than a minute but I felt like it took almost five minutes or so. I wanted to say "why don't you just get off and finish your coversation" but I didn't. I know that this situation did not irritate me if it happened in the afternoon or anytime when I was not in a hurry. But I often feel that "five minutes in the morning" is different and it worth thirty minutes in other time of the day.

 

AnimalLover 01/30/01 8:47 PM             Speeding Car Rage

             

 Last weekend I got somewhat irritated because I was turning into Haleiwa right before the bypass road. On that road when you are turning left you have the right of way because the cars turning right coming the other way have to merge into your lane. (I'm not that surprised when people act like they own the roads down there because so many of them are territorial, I guess in some cases even me, but I can still get irritated.) Anyways, when I was turning left a car that was coming from the other way was already speeding so when he turned he tried to speed up and merge in front of me but I sped up so he had to go in behind me and I guess he got irritated so he followed closely behind me until he had to take a turn but I didn't care because I didn't feel I was the one in the wrong.

 

Dahlin 01/31/01 3:37 PM           RE: He Hit Her-Twice SWR

             

 How horrible! I also have witnessed a drunken man beat up on a woman. It was Halloween night, I was in Waikiki, my brother and i were heading home. As we were driving down one of the streets, we saw a man just whailing on this young woman. She was screaming and trying to duck away from his punches. There were many people on the street, but none however came to the woman's aid. My brother jumped out of our car and said "A, stop it". The man was either scared or threatened or both because he walked away leaving the woman crying, huddled in the corner. My friend and I went up to help her. She too was drunk and unable to really do anything. Fortunately her friend came and helped her to God knows where. I agree, what a horrible, ugly situation to witness. I felt sorry for the woman.

 

Number11BUS   01/30/01 9:48 PM                    He Hit Her-Twice SWR

             

 Road Rage has been around a long time. Back in 1985, when I was living at Date and Kapiolani, about 1 am, just after the majority of eating places close in Honolulu and the first wave of bars close I was out on my lanai, just because it was to warm to sleep and saw the traffic, six floors below stop for the red light on Kapiolani. One lone car, young asian-local driver, obeying the law. Another vehicle comes up and doesn't stop in time and rear-ends her, doing a good bit of damage to both cars. A young "white" male jumps from his car, dashes up to the driver in the first car and begins screaming at her that she has ruined his car and punches her square in the face through the open window. While she is frantically trying to role up the window, I'm dialing 911 trying to get the police. She gets the window up and he plummets the closed window glass a few times and runs back to his car and comes back with a tire iron. I'm so scared for her but being six floors up there is not much I can do. 911 finally answers. I practically scream my address and the occuring situation and DEMAND an officer get there NOW. By now the male driver has broken out the windshield and she has retreated to the center of the car. In only moments the police arrive and take him into custody. He had been drinking and she, according to his yelling, was not moving out fast enough from the red light when it turned green and has caused him to stop when he should have been able to just keep going. While I feel relief that the police responded, I am at once angry, scared for myself as the witness, and for her possible injuries, dismayed at the havoc that has been brought by the young man who is clearly out of control. His car is wrecked, her car is wrecked, he will spend the night in jail, she is taken off in an ambulance from her injuries both from the crash and from being hit in the face, not to mention the terrioristic threatening she endured. Road Rage is not even a coined word as far as I know and terrioristic threatening is a new phrase used only for spys and such. My nice quiet neighborhood of appartment complexes of academics has been shattered. I still get a faster heartbeat just remembering it all. It still has the power to put a scare in me. The random event that can make one feel so very vunerable--in an instant. First you think a driver is going to get out of his car to render aid and then, all of a sudden you realize the terror has just begun. A waking nightmare. I suspect the she-driver was on her way home from work and the he-driver was on his way home from his favorite bar. She inconvienced him by stopping for a red light and became the target of his pent-up aggressive feelings when it did not turn green soon enough to satisfy him. How quick it all happened and the lasting feeling and emotions it provokes--Road Rage. Hope no one else has to witness such.Number11BUS

 

Watashi_No 02/01/01 5:26 PM   RE: Rage for my grandmother

             

 I can't believe that someone would be so rude as to yell at an older person!! The person who yelled at your grandmother probably wasn't in her right mind. It seems now days that in this "fast-paced" world that people are moving faster and faster, when in times past people had more time on their hands and did things alot slower. It seems so ridiculous to yell at another person to cross the street faster, ridiculous because an elderly person may not be able to walk faster in the first place, the person is just yelling for nothing. The yelling is definitely not going to make the person go faster if he/she can't walk fast in the first place!! Now days I think that street lights for pedestrians need to be longer, to give people more of a chance to cross the street, even I can't cross some streets before a lights turns showing me the red hand to stop. It's just this kind of incidents that make me realize that alot of people have lost their minds. I'm sorry that your grandmother doesn't walk around anymore just because of that lady, I hope the lady got what she deserves, or gets what she deserves in the end.

 

AnimalLover 01/30/01 9:55 PM Rage for my grandmother

             

 This is kind of an old topic but everytime I think of it I get overwhelmed with rage. My grandmother lives in Haleiwa and she doesn't drive so she used to walk everywhere she needed to go. Well, one time she was crossing the street (she walks slow because she has arthritis) and a lady had to stop for her to finish crossing. The withcy lady that had to stop for her got really mad because my grandma couldn't walk fast enough and she started yelling and swearing out the window at my grandma. After that my grandma won't walk anyplace anymore which just enrages me that someone could be that inconsiderate towards their elders. I consider this road rage and if I ever found out who that person was (nobody has the guts to tell me) I would teach the lady about a whole other type of rage.

 

AnimalLover 02/06/01 4:59 PM             RE: Mom Rage

             

 I know what you're talking about. My mom drives me up the wall!! Whenever I'm driving with her she tells me what to do: watch you're speed (even though she speeds way more than I ever will), watch that car, etc., etc. Also, when my mom is "reminding" or "warning" me of something she doesn't know how to do it in a calm voice so she drives me up the wall. It's always like, "WATCH OUT FOR THE CAR!!!!" or "RED LIGHT!!!" when I'm already aware. The thing I hate the most is when she gives me bad directions and then after we pass a turn or something she screams at me "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU MISSED THE TURN?" and then I yell back at her "DO YOU WANT TO DIE? WELL THEN STOP SCREAMING AT ME!!!" This is a never ending cycle.

 

Supreme-Finess 02/02/01 2:31 PM                      RE: Mom Rage

             

 This is in response to Mom Rage posted by spoiled brat on 01/30/01. Boy do i know what you are talking about. the only difference is that my mother drives, but she is not a back seat driver... no she is a passenger seat driver. There is not one time i remember where she has sat in my car and not said one thing about how I am driving or where I should go. Mothers will be mothers though and that we could not do anything about. She sometimes irritates the crap out of me but then I think about all the things she puts up with from me and then I really cant complain- geez I hate that! But I just remember that she only does that because she loves me and that she is just looking out for the personal saftey of me and her. There was this one time though when we were driving to my grandmother's house. My grandmother has lived at her place for 12 years and my mother was still giving me directions as if I had never been there before. I mean come on does she think I'm stupid? So I totally feel the mom rage she is going through.

 

DrDriving   (Community Owner) 02/01/01 6:55 PM         RE: Mom Rage

             

 Here's a practical suggestion:You need to go through a training program with her to teach her how she can communicate to you what she sees and fears. She is the passenger as well as your Mom and so training her would be far better for both of you than the current enraging standoff.For example, as you drive let her talk out loud continuously--what she sees, what she fears, what she thinks you don't see, what she thinks you should do, in what lane, etc. This is called Partnership Driving in our Road Rage book. See here for a sample Partnership Driving Contract I used with my wife several years ago:http://www.aloha.net/~dyc/partner.htmlThere are other methods but the main focus should be on training her how to talk to you while you drive. Dr. James

 

SpoiledBrat 01/30/01 11:03 PM             Mom Rage

             

 Driving with my mother can give me rage more than anybody else. First, she does not know how to drive. She can't drive, but she loves to tell me what to do. She has told me that she has watched people drive, being a passenger, therefore she knows how to drive. I get frustrated with her, but I usually just try to ignore her. She complains about things like I'm speeding, put two hands on the wheel, don't you need to be in the other lane, and the list can go on and on. What sets me off is when she tells me to "watch out" all of a sudden and gets me freaked out. It's perfectly fine to warn somebody if you know for sure they are not aware of something. My mom on the other hand, tells me that everytime a car is coming or a pedestrian is walking when she notices them and thinks she sees them before I do. This scares me and I immediately step on my breaks with my heart pounding ready to jump out of my chest. Then I look around and ask her where. She points to where ever and I look and then I get mad. Then I scream to her that I had seen the car or pedestrian and knew they were there the whole time. I continue with the yelling and ask her do you want to get me into an accident because scaring me like that does not help me. Then she tells me oh I was just making sure you were watching. After she tells me this my rage is just on fire. Scaring me all of a sudden sends the adrenalin through my body so fast it affects me physically and then I get mad so the adrenalin is fueling my rage. I have tried to explain to her very patiently not to do those things and what she does will cause more harm than good. She does not listen to me and do you know how I know? Because she does it again and again and again. I understand she might not know I see them, but they are a good distance away from me and she screams it like I'm going to hit them that second. I love my mom, but driving with her is very frustrating. Hopefully this class will teach me how to deal with my mom?

 

leis 02/04/01 10:13 PM             RE: Celphone rage

             

 I also totally agree with you. I have often got upset toward bad manner that some people attend to classes without turning off the celphone. When I hear the melody of somebody's celphone during the instructor's talking, I always feel disgusting. As the advantage of the celphone is that we can call whenever, wherever we want, I would not say that they should turn off the power. However, they should change the way to catch a call from melody-mode to vibration-mode. And actually, I have been also surprised at that most of instructors are tolerant toward the use of celphone during their classes. But I am glad to hear at knowing the existence of such a strict instructor

 

Watashi_No 02/04/01 2:39 PM   RE: Celphone rage

             

 I know what you mean about cell phones ringing in places that it should not be ringing in the first place. Some people act as though they would die if they turned their cellphone off. I always think to myself that people did without cellphones for so long before they came into "style" that no one would believe it by looking at the number of people walking and talking on one. I even had a couple classes where the cellphone rings and the student in the class ANSWERED it! And she sat right in the front of the class! I couldn't believe it, the teacher was talking and lecturing and she had the nerve to answer it. The worst is when a cellphone rings and it's right in the middle of a test, that gets me totally distracted. I know that one of my teachers in the past has said that if a cell rings during the middle of a test that person gets an F, no matter what. And I have had other teachers that always try to remind the students before class to turn their cellphones off or put it on silent. I mean there is a little thing called voice mail. Cellphones are ruling our lives, is it just because they are so easy to take anywhere and it is so easy to get in touch with everyone? I dont' know, but I do know I haven't lost my common courtesy to others, unlike some people. Please people remember to turn off the cellphones or atleast put it on silent, or if you do need to answer it right then and there when the class is going then please take the phone outside.

 

Supreme-Finess 02/02/01 2:48 PM          RE: Celphone rage

             

 This reply is in response to snowhawaii's cellphone rage posted on the 01/31/01. I must admit that I a cell phone going off in the middle of a lecture does draw attention away from the lecture. It is also irritating, and snowhawaii, I feel your pain. lol. However, I could think of something much worse than that when it comes to cellophone rage. I hate it when someone on the phone is talking loudly and they are letting the whole world in on their conversation. I think it is so rude, I mean especially if it is an intimate conversation or a personal conversation. This person was talking to his girlfriend really loud, I mean you could hear the person go "I wubba woo" and get all icky and googley on the phone. Maybe I was just upset because I dont have anybody anymore and I was just mad that somebody had a good relationship and it wasnt me, oh well, Im not apologizing for that because I cant help what I feel but, Cell phone ringing and loud phone conversations are irritating and I would suggest that if anybody is gonna have a heated, loud, emotional, or luvy duvy kind of conversation please save it for after class and in the privacy of... well lets just say make sure no that the whole world cant listen to your conversation.

 

Daniel1978   02/02/01 9:36 AM RE: Celphone rage

             

 Yes. I totally agree with you. I own a cell phone and use it a lot, But I also have the common sense to turn it off in class and in movie theatres. I HATE it when people answer their cell in a movie theatre and speak into it as loud as they possibly can. Imagine if they started talking to the person next to them in that tone of voice? Every one in the theatre would throw popcorn at them. If you NEED to leave your cell on in the library or in a theatre, can't you just pick up the phone and say "hang on," walk out of the theatre and THEN start talking? I wonder if those people have intelligent reasons for acting like idiots.

 

cjn   02/01/01 9:53 PM RE: Celphone rage

             

 I completely agree. Cellphones should be turned off in places where there should not be any distraction such as libraries, classroom, movie theaters... . I especially hate it when, in movie theaters, people start answering their cell right then and there. There is also the classroom. I remember the first day of class last semester, there was this girl whose cellphone rang while the class was in session, and I saw her turn off her cell phone. Then I went to my next class and heard a cellphone ring again ( the same exact ring) so I turned my head to look who it was, and guess what, it was the same girl. I got irritated. Why couldn't she turned off her cell for the next class? Didn't she learn something in the previous class? I really don't get it.

 

oshale   02/01/01 11:54 AM                    RE: Celphone rage

             

 I totally agree with this rage, because i have it all the time. It is worse in sinclair library i think. These students, usually are younger like freshmen or sophomores. i think they want attention so much. that is the only explanation and many times, they don't use the library facilities as a place of studying but socializing. If you watch them, they are more busy talking on the cell phones or talking with another, than actually reading a textbook or engaging in any kind of studying. They should be punished! The library should have more strict rule to enforce that these phones to be turned off or set at a silent mode so that the other students won't be disturbed. it is a common curtesy but we know that many people in this world lack such thing. so if we can't change the world completely we can at least try to enforce rules so that it is controlled somehow.

 

snowhawaii 01/31/01 2:16 PM                Celphone rage

             

 I was studying at Sinclair library as usual. This time, it was quiet(yes, I discussed about "library rage" the other day) and I was concentrating on my reading.However, the unpleasant and annoying melody broke the silence.The girl who answered her phone started talking in the study room.Maybe she couldn't hear the caller's voice well. Her voice got louder, but she didn't realize that. It last probably 5mins or also. It's not that long.But the time doesn't matter. What she was supposed to do is to go outside. That's the common rule. She even should've turn off the cell phone or make it vibrate. Her phone didn't sound emergency. She didn't try to talk soft. What she did was disturbing all other people's study by her rude manner.One of my friend told me about her strict professor. In his class, he takes attendance. But if the cellphone rings in the class, his/her attendance will be canceled. If the phone rings in the exam or quize, the student will loose some percentage of his/her score. She explained to me indignantly how strict he is. But for me, it doesn't sound strict at all. The professor had to make such rules because his lectures were distrbed so many times by the cellphone. I usually sit in the front in my classes because I wanna listen well to the lecture. But whenever somedody's celphone rings, my attention gets disturbed. I really do understand how the professor feels if the cellphone rings when he/she is giving lectures.

 

silverfox2001 01/31/01 7:39 PM                         Users and abusers

             

 Its 6:00p.m. and I'm driving home and all I can think about is homework and kicking off my shoes. I get home and open the door, set my things down turn towards the kitchen and see someone that uses people and abuse them. I will call him, an associate, who is my roommates friend. My rage has just went from 1 to 10 in a matter of seconds. This person feels he can just drop in at anytime, whether my roommate is at home or not. I have told this associate if my roommate is not at home don't stop by because I don't want you in my house. He just don't get the message. So I start slamming things around inthe kitchen and my roommate comes in and tell him "you got to go for now, until she comes down." It takes me about a good 15 minutes to get rid of that rage to being my old self again. The psychological part of it is that my roommate does not know how to let go of bad elements around him. That this person will continously beg for things and have no respect for personal domain, like my room and my bathroom! I have come to the point of locking everything up that belongs to me.

 

Number11BUS   02/03/01 10:49 PM      RE: employer rage

             

 Hi oshale,Just to let you know, you are right on. The VERY BEST TIME to look for a new job is when you HAVE ONE. Commission sales is a very difficult job for many of us. I, for one, don't like to part people from their money. If they want it they will ask for it. If they don't, it's not my place for force it on them. It seems dishonest somehow. But that's just me. So, I don't work in commissions and made that decision to not work on commission a long, long, long, long, time ago. DFS is under a lot of pressure now that the new store is open and the lease % will have to be paid. It come just as there is a slow-down in the traveling industry as well. So, the feel pressure, they exert pressure. ON YOU. Sad. Hope you find the new job you want and move on with your life feeling more satisfied. (Leave the boss a copy of the book too-some hints are better left behind anomously). Cheers,Number11BUS

 

purple848 02/03/01 5:10 PM      RE: employer rage

             

 I can understand how you feel. You are in a harsh situation at work. Your company's new policy purposing to increase its profit pressured you to devote more of your energy, and your supervisor's inhumane attitude discouraged you. I think people who are at higher position at work should obtain a human skill, or they are not entitled to that position. Your supervisor definitely need a human skill. A senior worker of my former work told me one time that she had been happy to work with/for her former supervisor, although she had to work like a dog everyday. Her former supervisor had a pleasant personality, and had never forgotten a word of appreciation to his subordinants. But ever since the other person who has a bad reputation for bossy attitude took her former supervisor's place, the motivation and harmonious atmosphere in her section seemed to be disappeared. The supervisos' attitude is the key for employees' motivation and effectiveness of their job performance. Your supervisor needs to change his/her attitude. How about giving our textbook of Goleman as a gift for his/her birthday? Hopefully, your supervisor will get a message.

 

oshale   02/01/01 12:10 PM                    employer rage

             

 I currently work in Waikiki store as a salesperson. I get pretty good hourly but it is the commission that makes this job really good. or i thought so. but for the past few months, including past month, month of january was the worst month since i started working at this store 1 and a 1/2 years ago. but we are moving to the new waikiki walk in dfs and we had a meeting. Our commission is very hard. have to make nightly $2200 in sales to earn $10 in commission and every $500 in sales earn us additional $10. however, i was told by the owner that they were going to raise the commission quota by $2500! I thought when they told us they were gonna change commission, i thought they would lower it not raise it! it is already so difficult to make commission as it is and now it is like impossible. They also want us to call out to customer like it is international market place(so humiliating!) and working in a smaller area. I was also angry the way they approached us. it was an individual meeting and it was so direct in lacking emotion. They said, you need to improve customer service, need to be more aggressive, need to raise sales, just what they want and want. they don't even pay attention to our needs, the employee's needs. it's like their tone is if you don't like what i say, leave. i am seriously thinking about quitting. before we had this talk, i wanted to do better in sales and all that, but i just lost that motivation and i feel like i am not gaining anything by this. i feel like they are just using me for their business without anykind of appreciation. I haven't approached them about my thoughts but when i find a new job, i will abpproach them and tell them how i feel.

 

oshale   02/01/01 12:21 PM                    coworker rage

             

 I work in DFS and there are many Japanese ladies who work there. i don't know if you heard but they are very tough. they think they are such a great people working at such a great companies. they let you know what they think and how they think. they will make sure you know they are are older than you and are experience and talk to you as if you are their children or something. anyway this was an incident few weeks ago. it was at employee lounge and there are 2 tvs. at that time, there were bunch of korean ladies watching korean program. then, this japanese lady came and just changed the channel as if nobody was watching. so i said, excuse me, i was watching that! and she said,'here, everyone has to watch japanese or english program' and i said, where does it say that? and she was like that is how it is. I thought she was so racist. i know japanese people can be so racist but her remark was enraging. i said, there were only korean people in here. why do we have to watch japanese program? and she had nothing to say. she just walked over to the other table full of japanese ladies and she just started to talk to them, probably about me. but i didn't care. who does she think she is? The TV is for all the employees to share and i know if i was watching only for me i would be selfish but there were at least 5 other people around the tv watching it. who gave her the right to say everyone has to watch japanese program? Nothing was changed after this incident. but she tries to act nicer to me, offering cookies when i was alone but she didn't apologize to me. i don't care about the cookies,i want an apology!

 

skyblue   02/02/01 11:15 AM                  SWR#2: Road Rager Cuts Me Off Twice!!!

             

 Several days ago, I entered the H-1 freeway with intentions of cutting into the far left lane. I was in a rush to pick up my mom at her working place and wanted to reach my destination in less than fifteen minutes. First, I drove faster in the right lane. Second, I signaled my left blinker. Third, I turned around to check if the middle lane was clear. Indeed, the way was clear to cut into the next lane. As I proceeded to switch lanes, the guy driving behind of me cut into the middle lane without letting me go first. He didn't turn on his left blinker. The driver decided to signal and drive past me only when he saw that my car about to move into the middle lane. I had no choice, but to cut behind of his car. He cut me off the first time! I repeated the same steps(1-3)with the exception of switching from the middle to the left lane. Again, he chose to cut me off! This time I was so angry at him! I accelerated the gas pedal and tailgated him in the left lane. When I switched back into the middle lane and drove beside him, I rolled down my windows, turned my head three times to look at him, and drove away. The guy didn't have the guts to look at me. He continued to drive slowly without turning his head. In those few seconds, I wanted to yell, "Why did you cut me off twice?!" However, I didn't say anything because I realized that it wouldn't be worth wasting my time and energy to drill some decency into that driver's head! I figured that he was in a road rage mood, and he deliberately chose me to be his target for that moment and time.

 

gemini-gal   02/04/01 11:17 PM RE: SWR#2 Rage of the Heart

             

 Oh my God! I know exactly what you are going through! My boyfriend of almost 7 years (yes, seven!) broke up with me in December 2000 during finals week!!! He isn't a jerk but he was one when he chose finals week to break up with me. I mean he could've waited until after finals week to break up with me. That was unnecessary stress! Anyway, my situation was that he was living in Florida and I was in Hawaii. He moved to Florida from Hawaii a year and a half ago. We've been in a long distance relationship since then. I know how it feels to have your heart shattered because that's what happened to me. Our break up happened out of nowhere. I thought things were going fine but at the drop of a hat, he wants to break up with me. He said he needed to do his own thing for a while and that he didn't want to have any obligations in a relationship. I wasn't expecting us to break up but in my heart, I was in denial. I knew that our break up would've came sooner or later. I was pretty much lying to myself and couldn't admit that I fell out of love with him. But in a strange twist of fate, he was the one that broke up with me and told me that he fell out of love with me first before I could tell him how I truly felt. I am dealing with our break up now and its sad that I let it get that far because I was lying to myself. I was unhappy with our relationship for a while and the distance thing made it so much harder. I guess we grew apart. But now that I am single, I have to think of myself and not "we" like you said! Its hard because after being with someone for so long, you merge your identity with theirs and now that you're detached, it's hard to "find" yourself again. Have you ever thought that it was her loss and not yours? People who are broken up always tries to make the wrongs into rights but maybe God just meant for it to be that way. Just remember that God doesn't make you go through things that he thinks you cannot handle. Everything happens for a reason. At least you have been in love once because some people live their whole lives without really and truly falling in love. Don't deny yourself grief. Make sure you deal with your emotions and try to be positive about your life! Turn to your friends or family for support. Sometimes it helps just to talk about it. I am sad that I don't have a companion to come home to and I miss feeling secure within a relationship but I am growing to accept it everyday. Now is the time to reflect on yourself and what is best for you. You owe yourself that much so try not to focus on your break up too much. It's hard but remember you are not alone! Let me tell you this much before I go. My sister gave me this and I would like to pass it on to you. Hopefully this will help you shed some light on your break up and your rage of the heart!Letting go is not to try to change or blame others-but to make the most of myself.Letting go is not to adjust everything to my desires-but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.Letting go is to admit my own powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.Letting go is to fear less and love more.Letting go is not to regret the past-but to grow and live in the present.Letting go is not to deny but to accept.I hope that makes you feel a little better and helps you slowly let go of the broken relationship.

 

MadHatter808   02/02/01 3:30 PM          RE: SWR#2 Rage of the Heart

             

 Hey,It's gonna be all right. I know it's easier said than done. You ever heard of that saying, "there's a thin line between love and hate?" Not that you hate her now... but it's just that with *attachment* comes a lot of expectation and that love becomes conditioned... it can turn sour if we lose it. But real love is unconditional and it was found in our great religious masters like Jesus and Buddha... they loved everyone even if they were to leave them... that kind of love is not based on dependence and the idea of, if I love you, then you have to love me back. I know we aren't Jesus or Buddha and in practical affairs of the heart, there is a level of dependence and expectation for reciprocation. The only advice I can give you is to try your best to let go. I heard from my abnormal psych class last semester that it takes about twice as long as the relationship itself to get over the relationship and inevitably, everything shall heal with time. You just have to be strong and do things that will make you happy and that can have a positive imapct on your life as well as those around you. Depression and anger will kill you and no one needs to go through that. Take care of yourself and look after your needs and try not to mull over what's been *lost*. Sometimes what's lost is an opportunity to gain elsewhere so everything is just one big balancing act... You can't force anyone to love you back but can only accept the gifts in life that come to you graciously... like you said, you were lucky to have experienced that love once. Well then, go on loving and maybe you'll be doubly lucky to have experienced it twice! :) But remember the lessons you've learned or have yet to learn from your previous relationships so that you can always improve yourself and the quality of your future relationships with others.

 

Supreme-Finess 02/02/01 2:19 PM          SWR#2 Rage of the Heart

             

 Do you know what it is like to build your life around somebody for six years, and have your whole world shatter into a million pieces and you are there all by yourself to pick up all the pieces of what you had? I do. I swear if love was a person I would kick his ass and not think about it twice. Love dont love anybody, it shows no discrimination. It could be there one day and be fine and dandy; then next thing you know it is gone, it doesnt care how much you love the person; it doesnt care how much time and effort you invested into the relationship because once it is gone... it is gone. This enraged me so much because all this time I had am so used to thinking about the "we" in our relationship now I am forced to think about "I", how does one get used to that after years of being with someone? If I could change the the things that made her unhappy I would do it in a blink of an eye. But it is not up to me anymore, I showed her how much I care, how much I love her, I would do anything to have her back into my life. I wish she could just look into my mind, only then she would know how much I feel about her. I miss the way I would brush her hair after she came out of the shower, and the way it smelled when she lay next to me. Now it is gone, remember people when you have someone special you must hold onto it with both hands and never let go, because once it's gone, it is gone. This is what fills my heart with rage, being powerless, not being able to do anything about it. This gives me so much rage I want to just disappear and fade away into nothing... does anybody know what I am talking about? Well pure passion and bliss comes once in a lifetime and I was blessed to have met that person, I would never forget how she made me feel...so real. A love so real that you could reach out your hand and touch it. You ever had something like that? Well, that is what I want. And it fills me with so much rage to have had that and to have lost it. If this class is about rage, then I surely have a good example. As far as the aftermath, well, I'm all alone, with alot of time to think about this, and in retrospect I would do things to make things right but get this people, when its over..its over. Psychologically I must be able to control my rage now, no matter how hard it is for me to do so. I cant let it swallow me and take over. I cant let it win because it will destroy me inside. I must still focus on my studies, and cant let them suffer because of it, I must be strong, I've cried, I've tried, now I must pick up the shattered pieces and try to continue on somehow. Learning how to cope with rage is something that i fall short on, perhaps I will learn how to be better in this endeavor, i could only hope to.

 

snowhawaii 02/02/01 2:28 PM    busybody rage

             

 I think it's good to share your opinion or comments with your classmates. But in the case that teacher gives you chance to state your opinion, or your comments doesn't take long.Some students don't seem to get this, they don't care to interrupt the teacher's lecture and keep talking as if they were guest speakers or something. It makes me irritated especially when the lecture cannot be finished because of such a solo performer.Can't they hold till after the class? Then, they can talk to the teacher. If the teacher likes their opinion or comment, she can tell us in the next class. Especially MWF classes are only 50-min class. Most of teachers have their procedure or curriculum for each lecture.In my today's class, the teacher was going to talk about exam coming up in next week, however she didn't have enough time to do so.I wanted to hear about exams rather than your long performance!

 

Daniel1978   02/04/01 10:24 AM                        RE: Bus Rage

             

 YEs. I know EXACTLY what you mean. The buses that run every five minutes, it's understandable if a bus that comes every five minutes (Like the nimber 8) does not wait for everyone to get on board. But the buses that only run every 1/2 hour....why do they always slam the doors right in your face. I know the bus drivers are miserable, it's visually obvious, but why do they need to take it out on the passangers? I always go out of my way to get out the front and say "Thank You" to the bus driver. When I get the doors slammed in my face, I feel angry. When I get on the next bus, I want to be cruel to the bus driver. It's a terrible cycle. The whole reason the bus driver are reude could be that they have rude customers. BUT it IS a SERVICE industry. They don't have to lick the bottom of my shoe, but they should be nice.

 

ktootree 02/02/01 3:48 PM                     Bus Rage

             

 Last Friday, I decided to catch the bus all the way home (in Mililani) instead of going to Salt Lake, where I usually go. I just wanted to go home and relax. I got out of class around 12:15 and was going to catch the Express bus that goes to Ala Moana. When I was walking down to the bus stop, I saw the bus leave, which meant that I would have to wait for the next bus. I felt like getting upset, but I caught myself and remained calm. About 5 minutes later, the #18 bus which also goes to Ala Moana arrived. Thinking maybe I would be able to make it to Ala Moana 1 (which is when my bus for Mililani leaves), I caught that bus. Little did I know that there was major construction on that particular bus route and that there was a long line of traffic. I kept looking at the time, and as the time got closer to 1, I got more impatient. 1 ‘o clock had passed and I was still on the bus. I got extremely upset, but it dissipated quite fast because I told myself that I can be at Ala Moana in time to catch the next one, which would be at 1:30. Well, it was 1:15 and I was 5 minutes away from Ala Moana, so I felt pretty good about making it in time. We were coming to my stop and then I looked out the window and saw people going onto the bus I had to catch! I hurried off the bus I was on, but of course, it seems like everyone is moving so slow when you need to get somewhere in a hurry. I quickly went around them and when I was 5 steps away from the bus I had to catch, it happened. The bus driver closed the door and started leaving! I was so mad not only because I was so close, but also because that bus driver decided to leave a few minutes earlier, plus I knew he saw me. Then I quickly tried to get to the other bus stop, which would mean going through the mall to get to the opposite end. I dodged people again. In my mind I was telling them, “Move! Hurry!” This time I was about 20 or so steps away from the bus, and yes, it left again. My face probably looked like I wanted to fight someone because I was so full with rage inside. I just paced back and forth in the hot sun and thought to myself, “I should have just caught the Salt Lake bus. I just should have waited for the next Express instead of catching the #18.” But, being determined not to let my rage get the best of me “totally,” I waited for the next one. The next bus arrived and I just listened to music to try and calm down because I had a very long walk home to look forward to since the bus stop is far away from where I live. I was relieved when I finally got home and just took a shower to try and forget about what had happened. This has happened to me a few times before, and yes, I did get enraged before, but this time the rage wasn’t as bad as the earlier times, so I feel like I’m getting better at handling those kinds of situations—slowly, but surely. =)

 

MAX676 02/02/01 6:24 PM       RE: Too much stuff

             

 We all go through ups and down through the process of life, and sometimes it is difficult to realize that we are the only one's who can control our problems. I don't know the complete details of you predicament, but I do know that no one can afford to be disrespectful to others'. It is a dangerous way of living. For example, if I pushed someone in order to be the first one on the bus because my life was not in order, this does not give me an excuse. He might think that you just don't care, and he might throw a punch. People don't know you intentions, and if your life is not in order, other people will think you are 'a disrespectful person. If I were in you predicament, I would try not to do so many things at once. It would be a better idea to do a small amount of things. This way, you will get better results. Anyway, I hope you can reduce you stress. Good Luck!

 

MadHatter808   02/02/01 4:33 PM                      Too much stuff

             

 Since the start of school, I've been running around like a chicken without a head. I have four upper division classes (including two WIs), and a job that keeps me up till 10pm everyday (at least for another week) with another job soon kicking in. Yes, I felt a little overwhelmed and so decided to drop one of my classes so I can focus on doing well in my psych classes. Needless to say, my graduation will be delayed till after the summer is over. On top of that, having relationship issues to deal with and friend's problems to worry about has also been draining my time. Don't get me wrong, I like to help people when I can but I often find myself overextending myself... Anyway, having all of this loaded on me has caused me to have a shorter wick with people... I've been more curt and somewhat ruder for example... I notice that when I want to get things done, I'm more pushy about it (like trying to get to the front of the line when I'm boarding the bus or rushing to get my papers printed up in lab without as much consideration for others). I don't like to not be able to think about what I'm doing but just going around like a robot to get things done b/c I feel it has made me less reflective of my actions. While it's a lot of little things that puts a premium on my time, it's those very things that translates into rage in public places

 

MadHatter808   02/02/01 4:39 PM                      Raging at inanimate things

             

 One of the stupidest rages I can think of is demonstrating anger at inanimate things when they don't go your way. For example, I'm on a computer a lot and when things don't go fast enough (I'm a real speed demon!), I start cursing inside about what a retarded computer I'm dealing with and think I may make other people around me uncomfortable because of my rising anger... for example, this might happen at the clic lab. I know it's stupid b/c a computer has a chip that can only go so fast, but for some reason, I feel it's more harmless to let my rage out and inanimate things then the other way around. I'm doing an experiment with a couple elementary kids I'm helping to tutor where I separted two identical roses and asked them to say one nice thing and one mean thing to each rose every morning before they go to school... so far the rose in which the mean things were being said to it is wilting faster than the other one... this was to get them to see how saying mean things to each other (they're brother and sister) can cause harm in the long run... anyway, sort of a a different take on the animate v. inanimate things example... sorry, sorta went off course! :)

 

Number11BUS   02/03/01 11:09 PM                  RE: incident at elementary school

             

 Hi virtual-b,I hear and read, often, that the person commiting the crime is "psychologically" not well. I wonder? I don't mean to suggest that rage and crazy-making behavior is alright. I do mean to suggest that the culture, society, economy, influences upon our behaviors is difficult to negotiate. We need a lot of careing for each other and we don't get enough of it. Have you ever noticed that when the story is all told, the one that commits the rage crimes are lonely, sad, angry, alienated beings that just can't take any more insults, injuries, blames, or failures. Do we notice what we are really doing to each other in this fast moving world? We need to educate ourselves and other to the humane way to communicate with each other. We need to notice when people hurt. Society is rich, it can afford to spend a few dollars on prevention training for our crazy-making times. This Cool-Board is one way to reach out to one another. The entire web page is a way to diseminate information to people who want it but don't know where to get it. The influence of drugs and alcohol must not be ruled out either. They often are the escape drug of choice for alienated people. While under the influence, inhibitions are diluted, but the negative, crazy-making behavior is reinforced. After a while, the behavior appears without the influencing substance. While some of us are "psychologically" not well, we can be...with a little help from our fellow human being. If we start now, with just one person, just think of the schools, offices, homes, that will remain safe in the future from not helping to create the crazy-making behaviors to get attention for our needs. We are acting, as a society, desperate! We need a little more understanding, education, prevention, caring. We need it now. Number11BUS

 

virtual-b 02/03/01 11:35 AM                   RE: incident at elementary school

             

 The guy was probably suffering from some psychological disorder. According to the news, he went back a few hundreds of miles to the school where his ex-wife's children attended. It is sad that schools are not safe anymore. A guy in California allegedly was planning to pipe bomb his community college. And last night, a 16 or 17 year old got stabbed in the chest at the Punahou Carnival. I remember going to a couple of Punahou Carnivals when I was a kid. It was all fun and games then, but now everywhere can be dangerous. Did rage evolve over time and explode into this current state of society? To be frank, I was watching Joe Moore, channel 2 news anchor, break the news of the stabbing, and I was not that surprised. I'm a little desensitived to events of rage, I guess, and I do not even play video games or watch horror flicks.

 

kathyhirokane 02/02/01 5:17 PM            incident at elementary school

             

 today i just read on the internet that a man went into an elementary school armed with a machete and a baseball bat and began attacking the principle, teachers and i think a few children! there weren't much details because i think this just happened. i just hope that this person is not affiliated with the school! it would be another incident of work place rage. he chased the principle down the hall and one teacher locked herself in a room so that he couldn't get her. i think that the principle suffered injuries to the arms and hands and was sent to the hospital. i cannot imagine how someone could do this to anyone, let alone in an elementary school! imagine how many children could have been hurt. this makes me so mad! i am so tired of hearing about these kinds of things on the news. just this week a guy was planning to shoot up his school! when is it going to end???

 

purple848 02/03/01 6:11 PM      RE: self-rage?

             

 You left early enough for school, but caught in a bad timing to catch a bus. It happened on your exam day, and that's why you were upset. I am glad that you could make it all right to the exam. The bus didn't come as scheduled, so it's their fault. I'm sorry that it happened to you, although you have no reason to suffer from the misfortune about the bus. Your story reminded me of my similar experience to yours. I have been 30 minutes late for a final exam in the past. I overslept, so it was 100% my fault. I am glad that the professor let me take the exam, but on the way to the class, I felt like crying because I was thinking about what if he did't let me take the exam and I get F as a result. I bet you were worried about being late for the exam, and the things happened before and after you got on the bus built up your nurvousness. The best part of your story is that you could calm your self down before the exam started, and you were able to take it in a good condition. I'm glad to know that.

 

cjn   02/02/01 5:50 PM             self-rage?

             

 This morning I was getting ready to catch the bus for school and thought that I could wait 5 minutes more before leaving home since I knew that the bus would be here at 11:05. Then when I was crossing the street, I saw the bus already at the traffic lights and it was 11:00. I couldn't believe it, the bus was actually early and I wasn't on it. This irritated me because I had an exam at 11:30 so I waited for the next one, trying to remain patient and calm. 10 minutes, 15 minutes, then 20 minutes went by before the next bus came. And while I was waiting, I was just observing the surrounding to keep my mind off of my being late for my exam. I was also listening to some music to calm me down but at one point as I suddenly paid close attention to the lyrics, I could hear "I'm raging...". The title of the song was actually "I'm raging". I thought what a coincidence to be in such a state and hearing a song about it. This song did not help me at all. Back to when the bus came, I got on the bus and tried to distract myself by looking out the window and avoiding looking at the traffic lights. So far so good, then, the batteries of my disc player just went dead and suddenly I couldn't keep my mind off of the time on my watch, and people were getting off and getting on the bus, further delaying the bus. I couldn't take it anymore. Then, when the bus got to its final stop, it was 11:30. It was not over yet since I had to walk up to the business administration building and walked really fast to catch up. My legs were getting tired. I could actually feel pain. I thought about running but did not want to do it, so I forced myself to walk even faster. Once I got to the class and sat down with the exam before my eyes, I was able to relax a little more. It's weird how an exam can relax you, and simply trying to get to a class can be so stressful. What a logical thing! Somehow I can't seem to get mad at anybody or anything else but myself. Maybe I should have blamed those 5 minutes. As long as I got to take my exam, I was happy and the rest was history.

 

kakela   02/04/01 8:10 PM         RE: Rage With A BOOM!!!

             

 I saw an ad in a hunting magazine for a gun that shot blanks and was used for training hunting dogs to respond or get used to the sound of a gun out in the field. I thought about how some people might like to use that thing to scare other people while driving. People carry real guns in thier cars for various reasons, so I thought instead of carrying a real gun to really shoot people, you could carry one of those fakes guns and really scare the crap out of someone. Could you imagine cutting in front of someone and they pull up next to you and flash that thing at you. It looks like the real thing and apparently it sounds like the real thing as well. They could point the gun at you and shoot off a few caps with nothing coming out but smoke and sound. It would scare the crap out of me. I guess that is kind of what that guy driving on the highway was going for. I wonder if carrying a fake gun in your car is illeagal?

 

purple848 02/03/01 10:57 AM                RE: Rage With A BOOM!!!

             

 Hearing noise that makes you imagin gunfire must have disturbed your peace of mind. I am glad that it did not cause you an accident. I think all the drivers are equally responsible for not to bother other drivers to keep the road safe. I don't drive here, but I get irretated when I encounter a car playing the music very loud when I walk down the street. I wonder how these people can be so insensitive to others and produce loud noise while driving. I sometimes wonder what they are trying to prove. Do they want everybody to know that they have a better quality equipment, or they will have their hearing ability impaired near future? I would like to know if there is any kind of traffic rule that regulates an excessive noise or a strange noise from a car that can lead other drivers getting into an accident. Those annoyance drivers deserve a ticket.

 

MAX676 02/02/01 5:52 PM                   Rage With A BOOM!!!

             

 It was a regular Tuesday night and I was driving on Kalanianaole Highway with my top down. It was a little chilly, but it was a beautiful night to look up at the stars. Anyway, I was driving in the right lane when I heard a noise that sounded that gunshots. I got a little worried, because my top was down, so I started looking around. I heard two shots followed by a moment of silence. My nerves began to calm down until I heard the noise again. This time, I looked over my left shoulder and saw the source of 'the boom'. It was some sort of gadget that someone connected underneath his/her car. This person attached this gadget to his/her car in order to scare people. Because I live near a shooting range I am somewhat decensitized to the noise of gunshots, but I was still a little concerned when I was driving, because I didn't know where the noise was coming from. Whoever was driving that car has some serious issues. Only someone who is really scared will try to bring fear onto others' for no apparent reason.

 

Watashi_No 02/05/01 8:44 PM   RE: In-a-class rage

             

 I can totally see where you are coming from, there are these three people in one of my classes this semester that talk non-stop before during and after class. It seems like class time is their "social hour" and they can not be quiet for not even a couple minutes. They speak pretty loudly too and so there is an incessantly irritating voices to my right. And to top it off I sit kinda far away from them too, and I STILL can hear them talking and talking. There is another student that sits right by them, I am surprised that he doesn't say something to make them stop talking, but maybe he can tune them out. Last week two out of the four people had their cellphones go off right in the middle of class, and they insisted on answering it right then and there. I don't know about them but I need to take notes for this class, I can't see how they can even have any notes, let alone hear what the teacher is saying, I mean we're getting tested on the material. But I can't really say anything because I don't tell them to be quiet and/or stop talking, even though I would have to walk to them because they are so far away from me. Although now that I think about it, only that one student sits close to them, the rest of the seats around them are empty. I can't believe how inconsiderate some people are.

 

 

purple848 02/02/01 6:19 PM                  In-a-class rage

             

 I sat down in the rear part on the classroom today. There were a female and a male students sitting next to each other in front of me. They had been talking to each otere, and did not stop talking even after the lecture had started. I got irretated by their whispering voices, and couldn't concentrate on the lecture. I got more upset when I started to think about it might be easy for them to understand what the professor was saying, but it wasn't for me. I have to concentrate on each lecture so that I won't miss a word of the professor, otherwise I will have a hard time catching up. Then I noticed that a person who was sitting next to me started to tap her foot nervously. I tried to look at the other direction so that I don't see her foot, but I could see it in the corner of my eye. Now it was even harder for me to concentrate on listening to the lecture. I blamed the couple in my mind that they shold go on date somewhere else but not to the school, or don't even bother coming to class if they couldn't act adult enough in the class. Go back to your kindergarten! I wonder how everybody manage him or herself not to be disturbed by annoying noise or scene while in a class.

 

darell   02/04/01 11:31 PM         RE: seat belts

             

 Talking about seat belts, I was riding in the passenger front seat of her car and I forgot to put on my seat belt and so did my friend. We were turning at an intersection and police was pulling out of a driveway on the right side of us. All of a sudden he starts following us and pulls us over. In short, we both got ticketed for not wearing out seat belts. Not only does the driver get a ticket but I (the passenger) got a ticket. I had to pay $67 for that damn ticket. So just a word of advise, wear your seatbelts or else you will have to pay $67 like I had to even though I was just a passenger.

 

gemini-gal   02/04/01 10:19 PM             RE: seat belts

             

 I agree that everyone should use seat belts regardless of age or position in the car, whether back or front. Seat belts have always been vital in saving people's lives and reducing the amount of accident-related deaths. People are getting fined in big amounts and its sad to see that people need to be fined just to obey the law. I have seen many people that hold children in their laps without properly using a seat belt. These adults and children are in serious danger of injuring themselves when they don't use a seat belt. If a child needs to use a booster seat, I say do it because you'll never know what can happen. Some may think that they are good drivers and won't let their children get hurt in the car but they have to remember that there are aggressive drivers out there would can challenge your driving abilities.

 

TVR   02/04/01 8:32 PM           RE: seat belts

             

 I haven't read the article that your talking about but I did see something like that on the news. I totally agree with you about the all or none law for seat belts. I don't think it's fair having only the front seat passengers wearing seat belts and not having the back passengers. What makes the front passaenger more important then the rear passengers.How about the idea of having people responsible for there own actions. Why must there be a law for seat belt use. I know it can save laws but how about cigarette smoking. It's proven that people that don't smoke live longer and healthier lives. Also, more important in todays society it would save the tax payers millions of dollars. So, why don't they make a law for banning smoking? Isn't it kind of the same thing??

 

Number11BUS   02/03/01 10:18 PM                  RE: seat belts

             

 Hi virtual-b,The reason for the law to read 18 or over is the legal age of consent to kill yourself. Under eighteen (er's) need to be protected (by law) from the dumb acting ones of us who leave their children in unprotected seating or no seating while driving faster than a child could possible run and smash into a wall. Every since we got faster than our foot power at a run, jog, skip, or walk we have found the really neat ways to go faster and hit things harder, be thrown farther, rolled over by something heavier. However, we have not completely mastered the art of being safe and secure while traveling at these speeds. I personally used infant seats, then car seats, then booster seats (even before they were "invented") because the younger the child (baby) the less protection they had and more life-threatening the situations could be. I was in enough crashes when I was a kid and I remember the bruises, blood, and broken bones sustained from my parents careless and agressive driving habits. I remember too how boring it was to be short in the back seat and not be able to see anything. The booster seats solve that problem for the under 80 lbs 8 yearolds. They get to see what's going on. Remind all your neices and nephews, or even your own children...they can actually see if they are higher and more secure in the seat. It worked with mine. Cheers,Number11BUS

 

sakodash   02/03/01 8:05 PM     RE: seat belts

             

 Hi Virtual-b!! I agree with the fact that it seems like the HPD is making an effort to reduce injury in cars by putting up this seatbelt law. What makes me mad is that nothings enforced!! I always get angry when I see little kids standing in the backseats or even in the front seats on the adults lap. Worst yet, is the ones who sit with their infants in their arms while driving on the freeway!! I don't understand, don't these parents care about the safety of their children? Where are the police when you need them? A couple of times I've seen cars with children standing in the backseat or in the middle of the front seat and passenger seat that pass by a police car. The police man doesn't even see it. How can that be?!! I saw it and I see it all the time. I hate the fact that adults don't learn until somebody gets hurt!!

 

virtual-b 02/03/01 11:09 AM                   seat belts

             

 I read in the Honolulu Advertiser yesterday (Friday, February 2) that the HPD is cracking down on people who do not wear their seat belts. The article stated that HPD has given out over 1800 seat belt citations since January 2nd. The current law is that for the seats in the back, those 18 or under are required to wear seat belts. How did they decide on an age range for that law. Is it that those over 18 are deemed okay to get injured or possibly die in a car accident? The seat belts law should be for all or for no one. However it is good to see that the HPD are making a concerted effort to reduce injury in car accidents, although the law seems to be targeting the effects of a car accident rather than to prevent one. Lawmakers are thinking about requiring booster seats for children, too. My nephews and nieces are going to give me hell if I force them to sit in those things, but I understand it is for protection.

 

BC3   02/04/01 4:07 PM                        RE: getting towed

             

 I can sympathize with your situation. I know how it feels to be stuck behind something that is going very slow. There is this street in Kailua and it is only two way traffic, and the only way into town. So if you are behind a bus it takes forever to get into Kailua town. That one road alone has about eight stops on it so the whole time the bus is stopping, going, stopping etc. This can get rather annoying. But then one day I rode on that bus, and could see the rage as the people behind us made gestures and zoomed by passing us on the oncoming traffic lane (a very dangerous thing). Your message has made me think about how to evaluate situations in which things are moving to slow. Perhaps I just did not plan well enough ahead of time.

 

virtual-b 02/03/01 11:22 AM                   getting towed

             

 Last night, my car broke down in the parking lot of a busy k-mart store. Actually it was my father's car, '86 buick la sabre, which explains why it broke down. I had to call for a tow truck. That angered me a bit. I wanted nothing more than to be at home sleeping or relaxing, but I had to wait for the tow truck. He arrived in a reasonable amount of time, but had difficulty positioning the tow truck to be able to drag it out of the parking lot. He had to try four or five times before he rigged it up. We backed the parking lot up. People were waiting for us to move, so they could move. I felt so embarrassed. I remember getting angry when I'm driving and the guy in front of me has to stop to drop off a passenger or load a passenger. I remember getting angry when the bus in front of me was taking an extra long time to load a wheelchair onto the bus. Having people to wait just you is embarrassing and sometimes can not be helped. I now see their point of view.

 

Watashi_No 02/05/01 8:53 PM   RE: Computer rage

             

 You know it's so sad when people look down on others because they don't know what their doing. I especially hate it when they make me feel like I'm ignorant or something just because I don't know the things they do. But I also hate it when someone is "teaching" you something but not teaching at all. That person may be going too fast, or using words for the computer I don't know...not even trying to keep it simple and make sure that I understand everything. But sometimes like my friend, he is so computer literate that the only way he knows how to explain anything about computers is with computer lingo, and since he knows what he's talking about he doesn't think that I knew what he was talking about. I want to learn new things but it's people that look down on me just because they know what their doing and I don't that makes me mad.

 

kathyhirokane 02/04/01 5:35 PM            RE: Computer rage

             

 hey sherri!i know how you feel. not necessarily about computers, but about the whole 'expert' thing. people who think they know everything (which sometimes they don't) don't see the other point of view: that maybe there are people out there who aren't as knowledgeable as they are in a certain topic. they think that they can be snotty and push you around! did you tell the people at the bookstore how you felt, or what? i would have been pretty pissed, too. you remember how the people who work at the computer lab treated me last semester! i was like, 'well sorry if this is my first time using this computer lab and i dont' know everything!!!' i was pretty irritated! as you know! well, i think that we just have to tell those people, not in a hostile way, that they should be more patient. maybe then they'll get the picture!

 

Number11BUS   02/03/01 10:36 PM      RE: Computer rage

             

 Hi sakodash,I have had the same problem with the folks that know and understand computer lingo very well. Computers are their friends...but not necessarily mine. I get nervous near the computer...or at least I did for a long time. I like folks that are going to take the extra time and explain to me the steps I need to execute to complete the job. I need reassurance that I'm doing it right. I need confidence builders to help me feel secure in this new world of computer language of YES or NO, ON or OFF. I really like the grey areas of life...it allows fuzzy logic and lots of choices and intrepretation. I keep reminding myself that the computer can't think, only follow MY directions. But, alas, sometimes I don't know how to give the directions the computer needs. Learning to use a "mouse" was extrealy tramatic. Now I can open it and clean out the dust and fuzz-balls. If the computer processes a bit slow, I have already clicked several times and end up getting two or three copies opened of what I want only one of. Can you imagine 3 netscapt windows all open at once? But practice, practice, practice. Salespersons and representatives know this stuff inside and out. It's not that they really think we are dumb, only that they are impatient when we don't "get" what comes easy for them. I hope they are reading and remember to slow down and take it easy on us...sometimes it's "our first time."Cheers,Number11BUS

 

sakodash   02/03/01 7:58 PM     Computer rage

             

 Oh my god!! I lost everything I just wrote a second ago!! Ironically, I was writing about how computer illiterate I am. I don't know what happened but I guess I pressed a wrong button with my pinky and my whole discussion was gone!! I don't understand why I can't get this computer thing down!! Well, if you see a posting titled "Computer people rage" that's half done then I'm sorry, that's mine that I somehow lost.Anyway, to make a long story short, I was basically writing about how people who know computers, especially those who sale them, get angry with those of us who don't know a thing and just need some help in trying to find one. To me, if you're in customer service, in whatever industry, then at least do your job and help the customer. Several places I went to, including UH bookstore, made me feel as though I was a burden on them and all I was doing was wasting their time. Maybe some of you may think that it's my fault for not knowing a thing about computers but in my eyes I see it this way...if I want to learn more about it then I need a computer of my own to practice on but how am I supposed to get my own if the people selling them won't even give me the time of day?!!

 

carlisle   02/06/01 5:51 PM         RE: Work place rage

             

 I empathize with knowing someone who is a lazy co-worker. I work two jobs, and go to school full-time. Talk about a headache. One of the jobs that I work at is pretty easy and light on the feet kind of thing. It is not at all like be a waiter/waitress. but, the lazy people are the type of people that make us hard workers, work harder and longer. I got pissed off at one of my coworkers, that bi--- her out. I felt kind of bad afterwards, but I told her what i thought of her and how she is working. I did that all in the wrong way. I should of just cooled off and collected myself before I spoke with her, maybe then I would not feel so bad. But, since then she has not been slacking, who knows it could be because I told her what was up or because she finally realized that her work habits sucked. Lazy co-workers is what makes me want to quite my job sometimes.

 

kakela   02/04/01 8:57 PM         RE: Work place rage

             

 I can feel for your friend. I haven't felt that in my work place, but I feel that way while training at my canoe club. There are six guys in the canoe and everyone is supposed to train hard and pull thier own weight. But there are guys in my club that drink beers right after training and smoke. they really piss me off becaus ehtey think that they are good enough already and they walk around the other clubs down at the Ala Wai with a lot of attitude. Then we have time trials which are performed by yourself either on one man canoes or by yourself and a steersman in the six man canoe. All of these guys, no matter how big and strong they look get whipped by the other guys who actually train hard. work ethics are very important to me and I hate it when I have to suffer while paddling because there are guys in the boat I am in who aren't in shape and are not as good as they think they are. That is why I like to paddle one man canoes because it is only you in the boat and if you train hard, then you will do well in the races, but if you do poorly, then there is nobody to blame but yourself. I also like the one man because I am a light weight guy and there is a big myth that the bigger the guy, the more power so he is a better paddler. I just love whipping all these big guys in the races. It is my little way of getting back at all these people who think that way and have denied me the credit that I deserve.

 

sakodash   02/03/01 8:25 PM                 Work place rage

             

 As I was doing my previous discussion, a friend of mine was sitting next to me telling me what makes him angry...LAZY PEOPLE!! He works in a restaurant as a food runner. He says there are a lot of lazy people where he works and because of their laziness, everyone else has to work twice as hard to cover for them.One time, he got into an argument with a coworker was taking his time taking the food out. Even the cocktail waitresses (who aren't even supposed to be running food) were taking more food out then he was. Waitresses tip the food runners out for taking out food so basically they were giving him money for doing nothing. Waitresses were doing his job and losing money at the same time. So, my friend, a food runner, got into an argument with his lazy coworker telling him to move faster because waitresses were doing more than he was and that the waitresses tip them out to run the food. So of course they got into an argument which thank god didn't result in anybody hitting each other.

 

gemini-gal   02/04/01 10:30 PM             RE: THR ROAD OF GLORY

             

 That's an interesting story. Fortunately, you didn't get run over! And he also said sorry! Now that's rare. Too bad all drivers can't justify why they are being so aggressive and careless on the road. But being engaged isn't a justified means to act that way on the road especially when they are putting their lives and others in danger and being reckless. But under your circumstances, the guy actually had some ALOHA SPIRIT and was nice enough to say sorry. In doing so, he admitted to his own aggressive behavior on the road and didn't let the thrill of his engagement completely consume him.

 

shaun56   02/03/01 9:27 PM                   THR ROAD OF GLORY

             

 TODAY, I HAD TO GO TO THE FISH STORE TO GET A FISH THAT I HAD ORDERED THE PREVIOUS WEEK. I THOUGHT IF I WERE GOING TO GO, I'D HOP IN MY "NEW-OLD" 88 VW FOX, THAT MY GOOD FRIEN HAD GIVEN ME FOR THE PRICE OF ZEROOOOOOO. SO I GET IN MY CAR AND THIS GUY COMES SPEEDING DOWN THE STREET AND ALMOST RUNS ME OVER BEFORE I GET IN MY CAR. I GET SUPER PISSED, BUT TO MY SURPRISE, THE GUY HALTS, JAMS IT IN REVERSE, AND STARTS RIPPING IT BACK TOWARDS ME. JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I WOULD GIVE THIS FOOL A PIECE OF MY MIND, HE STOPS AND TELLS ME, " IM SORRY MAN, I JUST GOT ENGAGED!!!!" i SAID RIGHT ON BRO AND FELT MY ANGERS FLY AWAY LIKE EAGLES ON A TAILWIND. i FELT PRETTY GOOD AFTER THAT AND THOGUHT THAT EVEN HAPPY THINGS CAUSE YOU TO DRIVE AGRESSIVELY, HOW IRONIC. NOW WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THIS, EXECPT THAT THE ROAD IS USED AS A GLORIOUS TOOL IN MANY DIFFERENT WACKED OUT WAYS..........

 

skyblue   02/04/01 3:18 PM                    RE: mover's rage

             

 I feel very sorry for you and your family. I can relate to your anger and frustration. Your last question about your grandmother telling the whole family to help her move without making preparations at the last minute reminds me of my grandmother in a similar situation. Since my grandma lives in the same house, she knows our family schedule, but what gets me upset is when I come home from being out of the house for the entire day or I'm on my way out of the door, and she tells me if I can buy groceries at the last minute. I explain to her quite often how she shouldn't wait until the last minute to let me know what she needs. I tell her that she can let me know the night before, write a message and a list of the groceries, or to call my cellular. Her reason for not telling me in advance is, "I forgot!" or "I didn't expect you to be home so early!" I say, "Grandma, I cannot read your mind! Please communicate with me ahead of time." At times, I cannot figure out if she does this on purpose because she completely forgot or if she was too tired to leave the house again. Other times, I think if it's got to do with age. Although I may be irritated for a few minutes, I still forgive her because she does a lot for me.

 

meow24 02/04/01 12:46 PM                  mover's rage

             

 last sunday, my grandparents moved (w/in the same building), so my family had to go help them out. they've been preparing to move out for about two weeks, so we figured they had everything packed and put into boxes. plus, my mom talked to my grandmother several times to make sure that she had everything in the boxes. guess what! when we went to her house we found out that my grandmother hadn't pack a single thing. she didn't even have any box at her home. my dad got mad but he could't yell at his own mother, so he went out to buy boxes. while he was gone, rest of the family started to move big furnitures and any big objects that we could carry and didn't need to be put into boxes. my sis and i complained the whole time we were working.when my dad came back w/ the boxes my grandma and mom started to pack kitchen stuffs and other small stuffs into the boxes.no one talked much while we were working. everyone was upset with grandma. as soon as we moved all the big furnitures my sis and i took off. i didn't want to stay any longer there. i felt sorry for my mom and dad because they had to pack and move smaller things (which took them four hours), but i was too mad at my grandma. as soon as we came out of the building, we found a safe place to smoke (my parents dont know that we smoke) and started complaining again. i don't know why my grandma did it but she did a good job upsetting all my family. she does it once a while to upset my family. i don't know if she's doing this on purpose or not, but it drives me crazy everytime she does this!

 

Watashi_No 02/04/01 2:17 PM               wedding day madness

             

 This happened awhile ago, but a long time family friends' daughter was having her wedding. She had planned everything and worked out 95% of the details, with her close family and friends helping her out with the little things. One of the things her friends helped her out with was the little party favors that had candy and a little thank you note saying thank you for coming to the wedding. Now her friends and family worked two whole months to make those little favors, we glued the ribbons on, glued the little beads on the top of the boxes etc. It was so nice and it complimented the table decorations nicely because it was these little hawaiian boxes and the theme of the wedding was a Hawaiian theme. So we finished making the favors about a couple weeks before the wedding, we stuffed the little candies and slips of paper in. Well on the wedding day the grooms mother decides she doesn't want to put the little favors on the table with her decorations because then the table would be too cluttered. I was totally blown away because I and alot of other people worked DAMN hard on those boxes and now she doesn't want them on the table!? But I couldn't say anything because it wasn't my place and the bride wasn't there because she was getting ready, and the bride in the first place wanted the boxes on the table. No one could talk the grooms mother into putting the boxes on the table, it was her way or no way at all. And to top it off she was late to the wedding ceremony...who knows what she was doing to the banquet hall when we weren't there.

 

kathyhirokane 02/04/01 5:27 PM            RE: crossing the street

             

 i know what you mean! that has happened to me many times and it makes me so irritated. they act like they are invincible or something! the least they could do is walk at a normal speed and not deliberately be slow, and then give you the look! it's usually young punks who think they're bad stuff and nothing can happen to them. i don't know what those people have against people in cars! it's like a power trip or something! one of these days one of those people will be taking their sweet old time crossing the street and they'll get hit by someone who is in a rage! nowadays, anything is possible!

 

BC3   02/04/01 4:00 PM                        crossing the street

             

 Well another day and another example of road rage. Yesterday, Saturday the third of FEB, my friends and I were trying to get to Aloha Tower to the block party for the pro bowl. We were running late because of the many people located at different places that had to be picked up. So in any case we had to stop to allow a man to walk across the street. Except that this guy (in his early 20's) walked as slow as he could and stared us down. Of course everyone in the car saw this and went crazy. Next thing you know my friends rolling down the window to say something, but fortunately the man walked far enough so we could get by him so I drove off while my friend was yelling out the window. I would have to say that I was mad because the man stared at us, like saying "what?" and took his time while doing it. I have no problem stopping for people, but I think they should be nice about it.

 

kathyhirokane 02/04/01 5:43 PM            customer service rage!!

             

 well, my boyfriend and i had to go to the vet and pick up some medicine for our dog. we went up to the counter, and someone was helping a lady before us. well, the lady moved on the side and we were next in line. there were at least 5 other people working at the counter and absolutely none of them helped us. so we thought, maybe we're not stading close enough to the counter, so we moved up closer. still, no one helped us. there was no bell to ring and we felt kind of weird having to yell out to someone so we just stood there waiting. finally someone came up to us and said, 'have you been helped?' i almost screamed at her! i didn't, but i said no. i kept calm but inside i was thinking, 'we have been standing here for like, forever! what do you think???' it would be one thing if all the people at the counter were busy, but they weren't. they were just talking story. we felt invisible. i think people who are in that business should really keep their eyes open. it is not up to the customer to have to demand service-it should be available to them and they shouldn't have to wait for forever to be helped.

 

TVR   02/06/01 1:14 PM                       RE: beach rage

             

 Sorry to hear about your friends but this type of behavior didn't surprise me. Everywhere on the North Shore people there are really territorial. If your not really good or if you don't know the locals over there then your kind of out of luck. I don't know if your friends were anyone of these but this could explain the reason why the surfer did this kind of stuff. There's also something else that you have to understand. SURFERS DON'T LIKE SPONGERS! As a body boarder and a surfer I know how each side feels about one another. Especially at good breaks, surfers hate when body boarders get in the way. I know that this seems dumb but that's how I see the different attitudes over there on the North Shore. Ofcourse, it's very different on the other shores but that's how it is right now. If you have any opinion on this, please feel free to respond back!

 

shaun56   02/05/01 9:13 PM                   RE: beach rage

             

 You know, I think you are totally right about that rage thing. It is rage if the bastard almost ran the guy over. In my sensible opinion, that is totally dumb, idiotic, immature, big-headed, and of course stupid. I mean, there are so may waves out there, and me as a bodyboarder, can say that the whole surf rage thing is lame. I surf on the North Shore, since I live 15 minutes away, and I've only seen it get worse and worse. I mean, when I was young, the respect for people was much greater than it is now. I can't believe that the world can change so quickly. Now you have to earn respect. That is pretty harsh. I mean, I respect almost everyone without even the knowabouts of them. The world is just getting too crowded, too hectic, and too nuts. But, I guess that's life right.....not! Like Michael Jackson said in that lovely feminine voice of his, "MAKE THAT CHANGE!" Anyways I can teach you how to bodyboard, it's a piece of cake, and fun as hell....... LATER~~~

 

kakela   02/04/01 8:02 PM         RE: beach rage

             

 I do a lot surfing and I did a lot of bodyboarding when I was in high-school. I have seen the rage that you have described and I think that it really sucks and makes the whole experience of surfing stressful. It shouldn't be that way. when you are out on the water it is supposed to be a way to get away from the life on land. A life where there is a lot of traffic and people causing stress. I like to get out on the water to separate myself from my everyday life and literally look at the land and think about it. It is different to be sitting on the water and look at the island. You can see all the traffic on the streets, all the people crowding the beach, and you just think about how lucky you are to be here on the water instead of there in the thick of all that mess. Then you have a bonehead guy who thinks that he is the bull out there and has the right to tell everyone else to get off his waves and threatens other guys out there. Why do you want to bring the stress from the land out on the water. when you are out there you should drop all these attitudes and just connect with nature and the other people out there who want the same thing as you.

 

ddestrad   02/04/01 7:47 PM      beach rage

             

 While at the beach this weekend i got to observe some serious body boarding rage.Thank god i was only an observer, but i got to witness some raging out in the water. Now i understand that there is surfing and bodyboarding ediquette that many people follow. if you see someone going for a wave you don't jump out in front of them or steal their wave. it's just disrespectful to do that. So anyway while i was up at the north shore and watching my friends body boarding at pipeline i was witnessing some serious raging. There was one particular guy who jumped out in front of these boarders, he caused this one guy to fall of his board only after he ran him over, the waves are bad enough as it is, nonetheless have someone run you over with their board. Well this same guy proceeded to snatch up waves and endanger the other boarders, i did hear a lot of talking from people as they came out of the water about that guy. To make a long story short he didn't get along very well with the other boarders. there were many angry people at the beach. i don't body board nor surf, only because i have never tried it, but commonsense tells you that you don't run people over or snag waves from other people. I'm not quite sure whether you would call that rage, but i found it very disrespectful and unsafe. If you were doing the same thing in a car then it would be considered raging.

 

 

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