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mightymousesa 02/05/01 6:51 PM RE: inconsiderate people rage!!

It really does make you wonder why some people can be so inconsiderate?!Is it that they are trying to bother you, are they unaware that they are bothering you, or do they just not care that you are being disturbed. I know that in my household my mother and father had strict rules on how I should behave towards others. Only your polite manners should be used, not the brash insensitive annoying behavior you had to put up with that night. See, that is what irritates me is that people don't have manners anymore. Not only should you not disturb and annoy people, but if you do, you should apologize! Does anyone remember to do that now days?

TVR 02/04/01 8:14 PM inconsiderate people rage!!

Don't you just hate people that know your being bothered by them but they still keep doing it. Well, this is what happened to me one day. It was one of those long days where I had school in the morning and then go straight to work in the afternoon. I was already tired from going to school and working the last three days and I thought I could get some rest when I got home that night. Boy was I wrong.I got home that night and took a shower. Then, as soon as I was about to go to sleep I heard these people screaming and stomping on the floor upstairs in my apartment. I figured it would stop because it was already 1:30 in the morning. I tried to go to sleep but I couldn't. It seemed like it was getting louder and louder. So, I called security to see what he could do. He said that he would go up there and tell them to stop. After 30 minutes had gone by the noise wasn't getting any better. I called the security up again and he said the samething. Anyways, in the end I just ended up falling asleep. I was really, really upset though that people could be so inconsiderate. Everyone knows that people are trying to sleep in the evening and they should be quit. But they just wanted to do whatever they wanted even at other people's expense. I hate those kinds of people!!

SpoiledBrat 02/04/01 9:03 PM RE: parking lot rage

I do have parking lot rage, but right now I am relating more to motorcycle rage. In town all the apartments and houses are close together. There is an apartment near my house and the garage is right next to my house. There is a really big, fat, tatoo wearing guy who owns a motorcycle in that apartment. When I first moved into my house the first thing that irratated me to death was this guys motorcycle. It is really loud and he also has a radio on it. Sometimes at 3:00 in the morning he would leave on his motorcycle. It is bad enough that in the garage everything echos, but this guy also guns his motorcycle. I would wake up every morning to his motorcycle. I hate living in town. It is always noisy and dangerous. I am glad this is not a permanent home.

kakela 02/04/01 8:40 PM parking lot rage

I was driving in the parking lot at Ala Moana park the other day and there was this guy on a bike and he was ripping through the parking lot weaving through the traffic. He was coming up through the cars that were slowing down to go over the speed bumps and would then pass them and cut in front. He would pass the cars on either side, sometimes passing on the right, and sometimes passing on the left sqeezing on the median of the road. I saw this guy coming up behind me and I was going to go over the speed bump but also move over to the side of the road to take one of the parking spaces. I drive a full size truck and don't slow down to go over speed bumps. I don't speed but I don't slow down like everyone else. The speed limit at the park is 10 miles per hour so I am crusing around there and hitting the speed bumps at whatever speed I am going. The truck's suspension can take the bumps in the road a lot better than a car so I don't feel the speed bump as much going at that speed. But anyway I didn't slow down at I approached the speed bump and I guess that this guy was expecting me to do so. He tried to pass me on the right but as he tried to move in front of me I guess he saw that I was still there and he freaked out. So he hit his breaks and weaved back to the right and started to yell at my girlfriend who was sitting in the truck with me. I don't know why he yelled at my girlfriend anyway because she isn't even the one that was driving! Oh well. I don't know why someone would want to weave and race around in a parking lot anyway. Cars are always making sudden stops and making turns in and out of stalls without using thier blinkers. That is the dumbest place to have an accident. If you hit another car in a parking lot, you are either not paying attention or are speeding and being wreckless. There is no reason that a car should be coming to a screeching stop in a parking lot. If you are going 5-10 mph like you are supposed to, then there is no way that a car can screech like that. Just take it easy in the parking lots cause you really can't fight the traffic. and big deal if you speed around in the parking lot and save a few seconds walking from the parking lot to where ever you are going. Even on a bike.

gotcorey 02/05/01 1:37 AM RE: SWR#2: Road work rage

Its good that you see an alternate way to think about the situation the next tme you are in it. But, will you really not get mad? I have tried over and over not to get caught up in situations and change my mood, but it has been a constant struggle. It is so hard to change a predetermined mood, and by predetermined, I mean how society expects you to act. There is traffic, anger has already been predetermined, it is going to occur. I have started to not change my mood, but instead alter how I percieve the situation. This can be an even harder task, but if mastered, yields more rewarding results. To change a mood is just to delay it, to alter ones perceptions is to change the mood permanently. We all know that there is nothing that can be done about traffic. If you're in it, thats it, you're in it. I have tried to come to the fact that I am incapable of changing the situation, which puts me in a vulnerable state, but allows me to relax just a bit easier. If you cant change the situation, then you can change how you view the situation. It doesnt change how the bad the situation is, it just changes how bad you believe the situation to be. Is it really that critical? Anyway, hope this helps from a fellow road rager.

gemini-gal 02/04/01 11:18 PM SWR#2: Road work rage

I was on my way to a meeting at UH one Sunday in hopes of having a traffic-free commute. As always, I anticipated that their was going to be Sunday drivers but I can tolerate them because after all, it was Sunday. DUH! Anyhow, my meeting was 3:00pm and I left my house at about 2:40pm. I live in Kalihi so it only takes about 15 minutes to get to school without traffic. I entered the H-1 freeway town bound and to my astonishment, traffic was already backed up near the Vineyard exit. I told myself "No! Not today! What is going on? Is there a bad accident?" I tried calming myself down but to no avail because I could feel the anger building up at the site of the freeway full of cars in front of me. I get frustrated everytime things don't go the way I plan and on a Sunday, it was inconceivable that traffic could be this bad. To add to my frustration, people were entering my lane without signalling or if they did, they didn't thank me with a wave or gesture! I started screaming with my windows rolled up, "people, is there a sign on my car that says 'cut in front of me whenever and however you want?'" In short, I was ticked off! After what seemed like an eternity, I finally realized that road work was being done near the Punahou exit and the construction people closed off the left lane. People were merging into the middle lane, which was the lane I was in! Of course, I started yelling to the construction workers (with my windows rolled up) "why are you doing this today? The people pay enough taxes for road work, so don't be so stupid to do it on Sunday afternoon! You shouldn't even be working today! Come back later on tonight!" I looked at them as I said that but they couldn't hear me, they could just see the anger in my face! When I got to my meeting I was in a negative and irritable mood. I was so upset that the frustration and anger stayed with me throughout the meeting and even after! I couldn't believe how the different events on the road had a cumulative effect on me as I drove to my meeting. It affected me for a period of time. I know that its normal to react to traffic congestion with frustration but in retrospect, I realized that my behavior could have been altered. I chose anger as my way of dealing with the situation and I made it harder on myself by blaming everyone else even when they were also experiencing bad traffic. With this class, I hope that I can learn new ways to discipline myself behind the wheel whenever I have to deal with unexpected traffic situations.

Daniel1978 02/05/01 7:34 AM RE: Office Workers Rage --

Yes, the joys of Bureaucricy. It seems as if everyone (myself included) has a HORROR story about paperwork getting lost. It's silly, the right hand does not know what the left hand is doing! It always makes me FURIOUS, and yet there is no one person to blame. I sometimes think they planned it that way. Th DMV and passport office seem to be the worst. Our school is also guilty. I've been tryingg to get my goldenrod back for about two weeks now. They don't know if a course I took at KCC (which they also offer at UH) is transferable. Why wouldn't it be? It's the same course! It even had the same number! Arrrggghhhhhh!!!! If only we had a better system.

leis 02/04/01 10:49 PM Office Workers Rage

I often get upset against office-workers at a part of SSC. Even though they lost my private documents, they never apologized to me, even shift the blame to other department of SSC for it. Desk clerks do not know about all sorts of procedure well, and they sometimes tell us wrong information without asking other office workers. As the result of those, I need to prepare my documents using a lot of time. The other day, another disconcerting thing happened to me. As I had made an appointment to attend to a meeting, I went to the place where I had been told. However, the place was wrong. Although finally I found the right place, I didn�ft know why, the topic of the meeting had been replaced to other one. So, I needed to make another appointment again. Some students who were supposed to join in the meeting also got upset. �gWe wasted our precious time again!�h �gWe need to complain for it!�h Such annoying things seem to occur to not only me, but also other students. I also feel disgusting; however, I have often met with such a sort of thing so that I have almost given up complaining to make them change. And I do not want to waste my time in doing so.

darell 02/04/01 11:25 PM people standing in the road

Hello everyone,I just wanted to share a little irritating experinece that I had on Friday. I was heading to work on Friday and I was sort of in a rush because I was late for work. Aside from the fact that there was a lot of traffic all over the roads (I was already irritated),I had to stop at almost every stop light on my way because it seemed to know that I was in a rush and I was late to work. Anyways, I pull into the parking lot at my work at there is this group of people standing in the middle of the parking lot just talking story. So of course I had to stop. Now, I thought that they would get out of the way when I pulled into the parking lot, but no, they just carried on with their conversation and ignored me, so I honk my horn because they wouldn't get out of my way (now I am really irritated)and then when they finally move, they all look at me all mad and stuff so I also look at them and inform them of some words that I had on my mind. So, I went around the parking lot cause there were no parking stalls the other side. I had to pass my them again, and when I pass them one the guys decide to make like they were going to step in front of the car so I had to brake suddenly and then he started laughing. Basicly, I took it as they were taunting me so I stop in front of them and start cussing them out or just the guy and we get into a little argument. Anyways, the point of this is that I was late for work with no parking stall and get into work all aggrevated and irritated. Nothing really good came out of this experience except that I got all worked up. It just seemed that everything and everyone were trying to irritated me at that moment trying to make me even more late for work.

gotcorey 02/05/01 1:51 AM A friends road rage

Met up with one of my friends over the weekend. After saying hello he immediately goes into this story of what happened to him on H-1 on the way over. He said he got cut off over 4 times in less than a 15 minute drive. The first guy cut in between him and the guy in front when the space in between could barely fit the car he was driving. He had to slam on his breaks and almost cause an accident with the car in the back of my friend. He said he was cursing at the guy and the young male driving the car just zoomed into the left lane and took off. My friend picked up his speed and followed him until he noticed his speed was a little too fast and stopped chasing the young male. The second and third incidents happened at on ramp sites where it was obvious to me that the cars had to merge in, but I guess my friend would not give them enough room. Not sure on whos fault those were, but my friend incists that the fault lies with the other drivers. The fourth case was due to a car that needed to get off on an exit and was a little late on entering the correct lane. The driver apperantly skipped over several lanes, one of which my friend was in and cut right in front of this. By now my friend was pissed and actually rolled down his window to verbally curse out the driver. Unfortunately the other drivers window was up. This rage built up to a point where my friend could hardly control himself. At that point I dont think he should have still been driving. I thought this would make a great forum discussion so here it is. I guess a good topic would be on how to deal with pent up rage that keeps building and building over the course of a single car ride.

Watashi_No 02/08/01 5:23 PM RE: Please, Thank you, Excuse Me, and Sorry!

I know what you mean about people not saying any of those courteous words that would mean alot to people even if the words seem so insignificant. I always say thank you when the moment requires it, and I say it even if I don't have to. I know that thanking someone in cars especially makes a difference for me. If I let someone in and they don't say thank you then I sometimes think that I wont let anyone in anymore. Or I just say your welcome under my breath. I do believe that if people just took the time to wave then things might be a little better on the road atleast. Also I remember when I was at a movie theater once a kid was kicking my chair and I turned around and asked him not to, his mother told him to say sorry. I was surprised by that, and it made me not so mad at him. I say to all people that saying thank you may seem like a very small thing but it may mean more to another person than you think. I know it helps me when someone says thank you, it changes my thinking and I feel open to helping others.

virtual-b 02/06/01 1:04 PM RE: Please, Thank you, Excuse Me, and Sorry!

That's interesting. Saying please, thank you, etc. is expected around my family. If I do not say "please, thank you, etc." my parents, uncles, aunties would jump on my case immediately. I guess maybe the person that did not say such things was embarrassed or something. It may be a cultural misunderstanding. In some asian cultures, people do not like to stick out in a group, may avert from eye contact, and people from other cultures may then take that as an insult. On another note, I read in the paper the other day, which said that drivers in California were afraid to say, "I'm sorry" in car accidents because an apology would be a declaration of guilt that can be used in court. Anyway, people still should be courteous to each other.

mightymousesa 02/05/01 7:01 PM Please, Thank you, Excuse Me, and Sorry!

Where did these words go: please, thank you, excuse me, pardon, and sorry!!!I haven't heard many of these words around campus, have you? And if by chance I have heard these words they are delivered in such a sarcastic manner that the meaning is lost.This is the case even with the staff. I know UH is a busy campus, but last I recall the proper way the move by someone in your pathway would be to say "excuse me" or "pardon" and pass quickly and politely. But everyday I find that a shove out of the way is how people move around me. Or if someone drops something in class and I pick it up for them they don't even smile or say thanks. Are parents not teaching manners anymore or is this society turning into a world full of jerks.Considerate behavior goes a long way in extinguishing rage!!

AnimalLover 02/05/01 7:58 PM slightly annoyed

I just had an encounter with a careless driver. When I was turning on to Ka Uka from the freeway offramp another car switched into my lane just as he was inishing the turn. I ofund this somewhat annoying because if I hadn't been trying to slow down to that speed limit at that time he might not have had enough room. Also, I didn't understand why he didn't go into that lane in the first place when he was coming off of the freeway if that was the lane he needed to be in because he was there before me. Anyways, it didn't really effect me because I was already trying to slow down, I just didn't understand his actions.

silverfox2001 02/07/01 8:34 AM RE: Following the Arrows

I agree with you about people not following the arrows. I have got into some near fatal accidents because people don't follow the arrows. There are times I felt like yelling out of my car and say, "did you see the arrow pointing exit instead of enter." I to have encounter situations where I had to pull on the side of a winding road to let a bus through, because he is not following the rules, where it said no buses beyond this point. I totally agree with you when you say people should follow the arrows.

SpoiledBrat 02/05/01 8:25 PM Following the Arrows

There are arrows on streets and in parking lots for a reason. They tell us which way to go so nobody gets into an accident or lost. Arrows keep cars in order so there are no misunderstandings. There are times when people don't care about arrows and they go in the oppisite direction of the arrow. I have encountered many situations where another car is not following the arrows in the parking lot. In these situations I am not able to turn into that row or I have to pull all the way to the side to let them through. Sometimes they do this to get a parking spot, which irratate me. Everybody looks for a parking spot and they follow the arrows and then there are people who cheat. They come down the wrong way and take the parking spot. People should care about following the arrows because it is there to keep people safe and follow an order. Without order there would be chaos.

Dahlin 02/07/01 4:07 PM RE: Yelling at others

I agree, your friends bosses do not have to yell or even speak to their employees infront of the other workers. That is just common sense. Furthermore no one needs to be yelled at. If mistakes were make a sensible discussion can elevate the problem. It would have been more productive and helpful if the boss said "You know you writing is difficult to read", rather that openly criticizing her report.I know I appreciate it when others offer solutions to help me improve rather than simply telling me where I went wrong. Because I feel this way I try to treat others in the same manner.

skyblue 02/07/01 11:20 AM RE: Yelling at others

I totally agree with you that your friend's boss has no respect for his co-workers. In addition, the boss handled the situation in a very unprofessional manner. If he truly cared about not embarrassing your friend, he would've kept his unnecessary remark to himself (your writing is atrocious). If the boss was smart enough, he would have confronted your friend in his office, speaking in a calm, low voice behind closed doors, instead of raging in the presence of co-workers. The boss lacked tact! He should've used more appropriate words to uplift and encourage your friend's writing rather than offend her. He could've handled this situation by pointing out the strengths and weaknesses. I truly feel sorry for your friend's experience at work of having to put up with an uncaring boss. Apparently, the boss hasn't learned to manage his anger effectively without hurting or offending people. It is not your friend's fault! The boss is the one that needs to control his anger!

Watashi_No 02/05/01 9:12 PM Yelling at others

It is one thing to have a quiet argument in another room with no one else there, but it is a totally different thing to have other co-workers in the same room, and the boss yells or reprimands you right in front of other people. A friend of mine had an incident where the boss was reading her paper and he said in front of everyone "your writing is atrocious", even though that is not yelling my friend was very embarassed and totally went through a long conversation with me afterwards on how she felt embarassed because all the other co-workers were there in the room, and her boss had said it pretty loudly. It seems that the boss does that to everyone, but no one says anything to stop him. My friends answer wasn't very nice, but I think her answer just made the situation worse. Also another friend said that she had made a mistake once during her three years working at her work place and the boss yells at her in front of all her co-workers, where if he took the conversation into the back room that would have saved her from embarassment and shown how much the boss cares that she is a good worker. It definitely helps worker relations! There is more to these stories but I think I gave the gist of what was going on. I think some bosses have no respect for the "menial" workers just because they think they are so low on the totem pole, but everyone has feelings!!

meow24 02/10/01 8:31 PM RE: SWR#3: Pet Name Rage

there is no excuse for his ignorance. im assuming that the travel channel management had no problem with his comment on Ling Ling. because if they did, they would have edited that part out or had him do it over again. im glad you mentioned it in this forum. i can't believe that there are still ignorant, ethocentric people like him working for a tv station as a news reporter. shouldn't the network companies educate their employees before they have them appeare on tv? i mean, this is 'the' travel channel!they should at least have some idea about the program they are working on before they air it. if i was one of the management personnel and knew about his ignorant arrogance, i would definitely have him get some education and never have that part air out on the tv. i don't want to make such an assumption, but i guess the people in the travel channel are just ignorant as he is.

purple848 02/08/01 12:18 PM RE: SWR#3: Pet Name Rage

I got upset at the reporter, too, after I read your message. He should be ashamed of himself for making such an ignorant comment on something that represents another culture. What would Chinese people and people of Chinese ancestry feel if they heard his comment? The reporter's comment and his act were definitely the ones of a person with low mentality. You're right, if he had never heard of the sound of the panda bear's name, he could have researched its origin beforehand. And if the name sounded funny to him, he should regret that he has little knowlegde of other culture and languages. Personally, I think Ling Ling is very cute name that suits an adorable animal as panda bear!!

skyblue 02/06/01 11:54 AM SWR#3: Pet Name Rage

My uncle and I watched a small segment of the female panda bear from China named Ling Ling on the Travel channel. When the program was almost over, the news reporter, an Anglo-Saxon man commented, "Ling Ling, what kind of a name is that?!" He also chuckled at the same time, too. While I was sitting down at the dinner table, I told my uncle, "How ignorant could the Anglo-Saxon news reporter be when he mentioned that Ling Ling is from China...doesn't he realize that Ling Ling is a Chinese name!" I was very offended by the news reporters' comment because he not only criticized the panda bear's name, but other part-Chinese people as well. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate it if he owned a pet, and someone said, "Your pet name is ____, what kind of a name is that?!" After a minute of venting my frustration, I thought about why he reacted in a inappropriate way. Perhaps, he didn't realize that this name has a special meaning. He is also probably not sensitive to various cultures/cultural issues. If the reporter was very curious about Ling Ling's name, he could've inquired about the name's origin in advance. My point is it was unnecessary for the news reporter to make a derogatory statement about Ling Ling, a panda bear that is special to many people around the world.

ktootree 02/09/01 6:30 PM RE: friends??

I understand what you went through in this situation. I know a person like that too. I told her that I would go to this movie with her, but when the day came, my plans for a ride down to the theater fell through. I had no way of getting there, and I was stuck at home. Instead of offering to pick me up, she got really mad and told me that I was rude. She also said that she cannot stand people who do that—plan something and then don’t go through with it. She started lecturing about how it’s bad. I even said I was sorry because I knew she wanted to go, but I couldn’t do anything. She said I do that often, so now I don’t even mention anything until I’m practically 100% sure that I’ll be able to make it. I think if she really wanted to go then she should have offered to give me a ride, but I live “too far away” to be given a ride. How’s that yeah? I don’t even bother asking for a ride from her and it’s rarely ever that she does give me one. This particular situation happened a while back, and since then we’ve learned to avoid that kind of situation. So, we haven’t gotten into that argument for quite some time now, so that’s good. I don't know about her, but I learned that people are different and react to situations differently and we just have to accept those differences and work it out, and if not, then maybe it’s best not to be friends.

purple848 02/08/01 1:47 PM RE: friends??

I think your friend was being a little childish. She needs to understand that soetimes things don't go the way as planned. She should understand that a thing beyond your control happens, and she should not get upset at you for that. School is very important, and if she is a student aslo, she should know that, too. Maybe she was disappointed to know that you couldn't go shopping with her because she had been very looking forward to spend her time with you, but there are many other ways she can tell you that without making it sounds a burden to you. I think she needs to learn how to respect her firends. But it is good to know that you and her keep a good friendship in spite of that incident. No one is perfect. It's good to keep a good relationship with others. Friends make your life colorful, right?

oshale 02/08/01 12:22 PM RE: friends??

hi.i totally know what you mean. Some friends are really understanding, and some friends can be really selfish at times. Shopping and prior engagementis really important. i really think so. but something as trivial as shopping compared to school work, i totally say, school work is more important. ask anybody on that. But of course this person is someone who never forgets a promise and keeps them all the time, then maybe she has a reason to get mad. but who is that perfect? We live in a world full of surprises and we never know what will hit us next. To be a true friend, i think we need to be considerate and be able to think from other person's point of view.

carlisle 02/06/01 5:37 PM RE: friends??

I know what you are feeling. But, to be honest I get that way sometimes to. I do not know what your friends mentality is, but I see it as, if a friend plans something with me I am totally going to get excited about it. And then when my friend lets me down, of course I am going to get upset. But, then I will get over it. I experienced a similar thing with my husband. He let me down a few times I rage like there was no tomorrow. The only thing that I felt was madness, and hurt, I was so angry and hurt inside that I wanted to cry. I know that a friendship and a marriage is something kind of different, but the feelings are kind of similar, if you know what I mean. I spoke tohim about it after I cooled off, and I explained how I felt and told him that the things that I said to him was out of anger and hurt. Maybe that is why your friend said what she said. I hope this makes some sense.

TVR 02/06/01 12:59 PM friends??

I know this person that always gets mad if you can't accomadate her schedule. There was this one time when I told her that I would go with her shopping later that week. But when that day came, I ended up being swamped with work to do for school. So, I told her that I couldn't go with her anymore. I thought she would understand because she also is a student but she didn't. She got really mad and insisted that I go or she would talk to me again. (Well not to that extreme but she kind of implied it). That really got me mad because it seemed that she was just thinking about herself. It's not like she doesn't do that to anyone else. So, I just told her forget it and just hanged up the phone. Everything is find now but for the next couple of days she was very upset at me. I just can't believe that some people can be so insensitive. It's not like we couldn't go another day but she really wanted to go that particular day. I was thinking to myself, "What's the big deal". Anyways, I just wanted to share this experience. As for me, I think I try to please everyone and when there's something that I can't control they think I'm ignoring them. Oh well, to bad for them.

virtual-b 02/08/01 12:48 PM RE: SWR #4: NO BLINKERS

I agree with you as well. I just posted a story of almost rear-ending a guy who did not use his blinker. Well, maybe his blinker was broken, but there are hand signals. I agree that in order to get a license, that they need to use their blinkers. That's so fundamental, the road test for driving is all about proper turning and such. Not signaling can other cars to plow into each other. Sort of a domino effect. Drivers should be cited more often for doing those small infractions that can turn into accidents, like not coming to a complete stop at stop signs, not using turn signals, etc.

rie2001 02/07/01 10:38 PM RE: SWR #4: NO BLINKERS

I totally agree with you. It is very dangerous to make turn without using their blinkers... not only when you make turns, but also when you change the lanes! But you know what? When I got my license, the examiner told me that I do not always have to use my blinkers when I switch the lane. Actually, not too many people use their blinkers when they change the lanes. That what my examiner said!! This is totally inappropriate for the examiner to say to the newest driver in the world!!

silverfox2001 02/07/01 9:12 AM SWR #4: NO BLINKERS

My rage this week is people who do not use their blinkers. I hate cars that decide at the last minute they are going to turn off into some way off drive way in the middle of no where and you have to stop short because he/she did not use their blinkers. What is so hard on switching up or down in the blinker department. It is a matter of safety in using your blinker in the vehicle. I am quite sure when they went to get their driver's license they had to use their blinkers in order to pass the driving test. So what is up with not using your blinkers after your driving test. My biggest pet peeve is when you are in a mall and the car is in the right hand lane and want to turn left like the situation I was in. I was in the left hand lane and this car decided to over take me from the right hand side and make a turn to the left. I was raging that I decided to follow that car. When that car found a parking space I pulled up and said, you almost caused us to get in to a major accident. She looked at me like nothing was wrong and walked into Liberty House. I was so angry that I had to remeber where I was and start to calm down. Right beside me was my daughter that was staring at me. It is then, I realized what I was doing, by imposing infliction of my rage on her, that I stepped out of my truck and took a breath.

MadHatter808 02/10/01 12:55 PM RE: Hard to be a good driver!

Well first of all, b/c you were tired, you may not have realized what you were doing completely nor what others were doing as you mentioned in your post. Being a good driver requires one to be attentive and considerate and it's hard to have the latter without the former. I know I'm not the most attentive driver when I drive and it makes it hard on other drivers to have to pay attention to all the mistakes I make. Also, reacting to what you perceive to be mistakes others may have made only makes things worse b/c you are adding to the danger by speeding or tailgating hence further causing others to have to adjust to you. I'm not a perfect driver, but this class is teaching me about better ways to be one so that when I do go behind the wheel, I will think more carefully about how I will impact others from the way I drive. Try to make sure you get enough rest, OK? :)

AnimalLover 02/09/01 12:30 AM RE: Hard to be a good driver!

I know what you're talking about. When I drive I usually try to follow the speed limit because I don't want to deal with the speeding tickets or anything but the other drivers on the road don't appreciate that. I can understand if I'm going below the speed limit but I go about five or ten mph above the speed limit and they're still cutting me off and speeding past me until they're out of sight. I try to follow all of the laws and think that's what being a good driver is but the other people on the road seem to have a different opinion.

rie2001 02/07/01 11:02 PM Hard to be a good driver!

This week I was sick. It was not too bad, but I felt so tired and I didn't have any extra energy for any aggressive driving behavior. I didn't speed, never pass the yellow light, stay in one lane, and let people in to my lane so many times. I actually thought I am such a good driver!! But I guess other drivers on the road didn't think so. They were obviously irriteted by me. I don't know how many cars cut me off, or tailgated. So I had to pick up my speed. Well... simple question here is that what is a good driver?

leis 02/11/01 6:26 AM RE: No Rage Today!!!!!!!

You hardly ever do not have rage nor any frustration related behavior???Even though you fight with Mon? Has somebody hardly ever made you get mad doing irrational things? Even though you lost your text data on the computer, don't you get mad? I think you are lucky, peaceful, and happy person. I have often experienced feeling of mad since my childhood: when Mom says irrational thing, when I meet with somebody discriminate different races, when I lost my data on the computer, when UPS does not deliver products which should be done, when somebody cut into the line etc. My mad experiences are uncountable. However, I have had no rage for this week yet. It was peacful and might have been unusual week.

ddestrad 02/09/01 2:13 PM RE: No Rage Today!!!!!!!

Well i can totally relate to you Daniel, I hardly ever have rage nor any frustration related behavior. So this whole Chat posting isn't working so well with me. Is it possible to have rage because you haven't or don't rage? I'm trying to make myself mad but it isn't working, so I'll just do something that will frustrate me like go back to the computer lab and figure out how to upload software with FTP. That will surely do it. Well Daniel i'm sorry to hear that you have no rage, good luck next time! Just kidding.

Daniel1978 02/08/01 8:59 AM RE: No Rage Today!!!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL?? My computer keeps doing this!!! I'll post a whole long message, and it'll only post what is in the first part of the window. Damn....The whole point of that message was how I was not going to let myself rage. This sucks. Message board rage. Stupid computer

Daniel1978 02/08/01 8:56 AM No Rage Today!!!!!!!

So I just woke and It's a fresh new day. No rage yet. This is great, but the sad part is that I know this will change. A car will almost hit m

PHYRE2001 02/08/01 12:17 PM RE: inconsiderate parking

I too hate when cars park too close to everyone. I have a compact car, and the thing that I hate most about parking structures, is when your walking back to your car after school. When you leave your car in the structure for more than a couple of hours, you think that you left it in good condition. But as you approach your car, you see that you have no room to get in because some person parked too close to you. I have often wondered why people who do not have compact cars, insist on parking in compact stalls. But, there brings in another question, and that is "Why are the compact spaces more convenient than the other stall?" If you look at a parking structures, many of the compact stalls are more convenient, like they may be close to an elevator or stair well. Maybe the bigger cars get upset about that, and they proceed to park in compact stall, making their own stalls. Everyone will always have a gripe about something, its like you cannot win!!

charisseo 02/08/01 11:23 AM inconsiderate parking

one pet peeve i have about other drivers is how they park their cars. some people don't take into consideration the other people who will be parking next to them. for example the the UH parking structure. the outling stalls are for compact cars while there are stalls that are a little wider in the middle rows. along the long stretch of parking stalls a chain reaction is created when one stall is taken my a car that parks too much to one side. or in a worse situation a car that is clearly not a compact car parks in the compact stall causing the other people who park a long side that car to be pushed into the other neighboring stall. this behavrior in my opinion lacks consideration on a driver who does not take the time park straight or does not park in their appropriate stall (if one is availible).

kathyhirokane 02/08/01 4:44 PM RE: Work rage- bad customers

oshale,i think you should have been more patient with the old lady. sometimes older people have a harder time hearing or understanding what we say, and it takes time to explain it to them. i've had some older people ask me questions that i thought were pretty dumb or i wasn't able to understand what they were asking, but if you take the time to talk to them, they'll be grateful that you were nice to them, and you'll also feel good about yourself for being nice back. i know that is how i feel when i'm in that situation. when you are faced with a person who makes you mad or irritated, especially in customer service, if you smile and try to be nice, it will reflect better on you. that person will remember that you were polite and nice and will treat you the same in the future.

PHYRE2001 02/08/01 12:25 PM RE: Work rage- bad customers

I have had one too many customers that always ruin the end of a good day. I use to work at Longs Drugs, and so I had my fill of old ladies and their questions. My conclusion is that old people have a different frame of mind. They do not understand that their are certain closing procedures at the end of the day, because when they come back in the morning, everything was exactly how they left it. For example, I use to work in the photo department, so we too had to cover the display tables. When the question, why is asked, like it is any of their bussiness to begin with, I would make up all kinds of crazy stories. I would tell them that the cleaning crew uses the tables to reach the lights to clean at night. I found out that old people just dont accept the "just because" answer. They would rather hear that it is a way of communicating with aliens or some other bizarre anwser. The mentality between generations is just different!!

oshale 02/08/01 12:13 PM Work rage- bad customers

I really hate being a salesperson. It feels like people look down on me or something. when i say something they seem to totally ignore me.Anyway, it was one causasian old lady. I work in a jewelry section, so when it was time to close, we cover the display case with sheets. Like a usual day, i was just doing my routine. Announcement came out that we are closed so as i was putting the covers on the display case, this old lady comes upto me and say, 'why are you covering that?' So i said, 'because we are closed!' Then she continued to ask, but why are you covering it? and i continued to say because we are closed. and she kept on asking why we were covering the counter. I mean what did this lady want from me. i was just doing my job and she kept on asking me why i was covering it up. i said, 'lady why don't you go ask the president why we have to do this' and she said, 'where can i find him?' i was so mad. Right now that i think back, i think she was slightly senile. that is the only explanation i can think of because why would she question the fact that i was covering the showcase with jewelry in in? Isn't that just a common sense. I really didn't see her reasoning for asking me that. I was really sarcastic to her and i really didn't explain to her why because I never thought about why we did that. i think i was just angered by the fact that some old lady like that will waste my time with a dumb question like that. I don't know how i should've handled it. but i really got mad after that. she just totally put me in a bad mood, right before i was going to go home. Right now, i think i should have just ignored her. i don't know. i think i just have bad luck with people.

snowhawaii 02/08/01 3:10 PM RE: Best friend rage

Are you sure she's your best friend?At least she doesn't seem to think the same way.No, you are not weird. If I were you, I would've felt same way too.I mark all my close friends' birthdays on the calendar when I get a new one. And I assume most people do so.If she's my best friend, I'll send the birthday card rather than just calling or sending e-card. And I expect my best friend to do so too.I understand that sometimes boyfriend comes first too, but it cannot be the excuse to forget about the best friend.If I were you, I'll never call her the best friend again.Fortunately, I just received a birthday gift from my friend.I haven't seen him for about 2years, and we don't write each other often. We know we both are busy. But we don't forget the X'mas card and Birthday gift. No matter how far we're apart, we are friends as long as we care about each other.I think that's how friends should be.

oshale 02/08/01 12:30 PM Best friend rage

Whoever reads this, i want you to reply to me and tell me if i am overreacting. I am a girl and you know your best girlfriend is suppose to be like a sister. It was my birthday last month. Ever since then, i am not in the speaking terms with my friend. I know she is busy, so am i. She has boyfriend and so do i. So i know sometimes boyfriend comes before a girlfriend, and i totally understand that. i am like that too. So if we are not able to talk to each other long time it is understandable. But NOT THIS! It was my birthday, and she hasn't even called me. Obviously she forgot. i wasn't even expecting a present or party. i just wanted her to call me say happy birthday. But i tried to understand her. So i gave her few more days. still no call from her. Then two weeks passed and i saw her in the library, and she was like why didn't you call me? I was like in my head, why didn't you? At that moment, if she made any kind of apologetic remark about forgetting my birthday, i would've forgot about my hurt feeling. i would've just said, oh, no big deal. But she had no clue. She had no clue that it was my birthday that she had forgotten. That really made me mad. i was fuming in my head and in my heart. how can my best friend do that? not best friends anymore but... If it was just a regular friend, i would not react this way.But she was suppose to be my best friend. Now when I see her around school and i totally ignore her and her boyfriend, and give her stink eye sometimes when our eyes meet. AS for resolution, nothing i see in the future. i will not approach her and it will not affect me in anyway if she didn't either. She is so insensitive and stupid. i'm sure she never forgets her boyfriend's birthday. what a friend i had or i thought i had. am i overreacting? please be honest. i want to know if i am the weird one.

carlisle 02/12/01 5:14 PM RE: CONTRADICTORY SUPERVISORS!!

I know what you are talking about. I work at Costco and there is a lot of people like that out there. There are many bosses out there that contradict themselves on a daily basis. We have our regional manager come in every other month for meetings with some of the staff. Even in the meeting they contradict themeselves, they are just making themselves look stupid, well atleast that is in my eyes. If I had the nerve I would speak up and tell them what I really think. I do speak up, but I do not tell them exactly how I am feeling, I kind of go around the subject. My rage at those point in times is to quite, but I do not because of my reasons. I just tell myself that this job is not going to be my career goal, so it is not worth raging over. Know what I mean?

oshale 02/08/01 12:49 PM RE: CONTRADICTORY SUPERVISORS!!

I guess being a employee somewhere and working under someone all makes us have things in common. Wherever we go, i guess there are always rude customers, old ladies with stupid questions, and supervisor who think they know it all, and try to make the other employee look stupid. i think they think that by making you aware of your mistakes and letting you know what you did wrong while making you feel very dumb, is a dumb supervisor to begin with. I kind of figured it out. They think that just because they are in the superior position, they have the right to look down on you and make themselves look good in front of others. They don't realize they are not getting the respect that they want, they are just making themselves look more stupid and will never get respect from you or others. Being a supervisor should have more prerequisites than just being experienced in work, someone who worked there long. It should be someone with compassion and consideration for the workers and try to cover their mistakes and help them fulfill their duties in a happy setting for optimal performance. Supervisor like that makes you not want to work there anymore. Doesn't it? i can't stand supervisor who act like they know everything, when in actuality, they know nothing!i've had my shares of supervisor and i never was clever like you to think of revenge or a comeback line like you. i don't think i have that kind of wit. i always think afterwards, what i should've told her. But i don't know being revengeful is a emotionally intelligent thing to do but it really will make me feel good telling them off! Way to go!

PHYRE2001 02/08/01 12:34 PM CONTRADICTORY SUPERVISORS!!

I hate when supervisors always seem that they are always right. The scold you and reprimand you, when they themselves are doing the same thing. I work at a bank, and so the paperwork needs to be placed in their respective bins, and put away. I was doing my transactions during a busy hour, and I accidently put some paperwork in the wrong bin. When the crowd was gone, I would have been able to correct the bins, and everything would be fine. My supervisor, who was working in the next window came over to ask me a question, and noticed the wrong bin placing. Instead of just realizing that it was busy and correcting the problem, she decided to scold me and insult my intelligence. She kept going on, you sure you know where to put your paperwork. Taunting and asking me over and over. I finished the transaction for the customer, and took a deep breath. I looked at my supervisors desk, and all of her paperwork was not put away, and her drawer was unlocked and the key still there. That is a big NO NO in banking, so I grabbed her key and hid it. When she came back she was looking frantically all over for it. I gave back her key and told her that the next time she decideds to make me feel stupid in front of a customer, she better being a darn good job of her own. I was feeling rage at that moment, but I think that it was a different type of rage. Although I was embarrased that she gave me scoldings, in a sense she was right, I did make a mistake. I hate to be embarrassed, and seeing that she too makes mistakes, bigger than what I did, I felt that she had no right to try and make me feel stupid. Instead of being steamed rage, and head turning red, I felt like getting even, or revenge rage. I do not know what is worse, but maybe it is just mentality!!

virtual-b 02/08/01 12:40 PM no blinker

I was driving in kalihi yesterday and almost rear-ended a car. I was cruising along, in an unemotional state. I had no place to go to, finished the things that I needed to do, and then this car abruptly stops and makes a right turn. There was no preparation made by the driver. He did not gradually decrease his speed. He did not even turn on his turn signal. Luckily, I was able to jam the brakes and the guy in back was a good distance away. I was ticked off, the car that I was driving was not even my car. I honked my horn and sped off, sort of showing the other driver that he unnecessarily delayed me and almost made me crash into him. I usually take extra good care of other people's cars when I borrow them. I park in short distance from stores to avoid break-ins, park in the shade to protect the paint, etc. However, now that I think about the incident indept, I realize that I should not have been that close to the guy. Although the guy did not signal his turn, I now see my faults as well, including how quickly my unemotional state became one of anger.

charisseo 02/09/01 8:51 PM RE: TEACHER RAGE!!

i can understand what you are going through. i have also been sick for the past week. it is so frustrating to be sick and still be held to all prior responsibilities. in my experience with teachers is that if a teacher is kept informed they have a better understanding and may bend rules in needed. as for teachers who stick by strict rules i don't understand the reasoning for it. if a student does and assigment it shouldn't really matter if the assinment is done on which day. rather it should be graded on the content of the work.

skyblue 02/08/01 3:57 PM RE: TEACHER RAGE!!

I feel very sorry for you! I empathize with you concerning your recovery and two totally unfair grades for those assignments. Your teacher isn't putting herself in your shoes! How would she like to be reprimanded for not accepting make-up assignments due to an ineffective and wrong type of medication that isn't helping to cure your illness?! Please continue to be persistent in asking her to change Ms./Mrs. unfair syllabus policy for late assignments. I hope your teacher will be flexible in hearing your needs. If not, she doesn't care about how well you are performing or the grade that you will receive in her class. I can relate to your situation from a similar experience. Last semester, one of my female instructors stated in her syllabus that she doesn't allow make-up assignments for any reason due to illness, car trouble, etc. which constitutes any work that is turned in one day late. However, if the student turns in a paper on or before the due date knowing that their work isn't the best quality, she allows the student to rewrite their paper as many times as possible/when they become satisfied with their revised grade. Unfortunately, when my friend who is a classmate of mine became ill, she forced herself to stay up late and turned in the paper on time, even though she went to the doctor and was told to get lots of sleep because of the consequences. Personally, I think my instructors' policy is absolutely absurd! I've come to realize that some teachers are very set in their ways meaning that they must insist on having everything work according to their preferences. I hope that she will come to her senses and make an exception for you because of your circumstances.

PHYRE2001 02/08/01 12:42 PM TEACHER RAGE!!

I know that many college students get angry at their teachers, especially if they do not get to turn in their homework late. Well, the thing that is worst than a strict teacher, is a teacher who just don't care. I have been under doctors care for the past week, because the prescription that was given to me was too strong. I felt so nauseated this entire week, that I could not even get out of bed. I was very upset about being bed-ridden because of medication, and to what I believe, doctor error. Anyhow, today was the first day back at school, and I went to talk to one of my teachers about making up two homework assignments. She told me that her policy is that you cannot make up homework, and I have to take an F for both assignments. How is that fair, that a doctors note is not even suffice. I think that if you are under doctors care, you should be able to turn in anything. She told me that she would think about me making up the quiz.. I was so angry that I was wishing bad things happen to her. I am so disguisted with people who are just in the wrong profession. Yes I believe the saying that "shit happens" but does that mean that you have to be reprimanded for it. Its bad enough that I have a weeks worth of school work to do, and catch up with the rest of the class, but to do it knowing that I am going to receive an F seems so pointless to me. I just dont understand some people.

lavaflow 02/10/01 6:35 PM RE:

I understand how it's difficult to hear the movie when other people start talking around you. I had a similar problem last week when we watched a film in the class. But I also have to admit that I've talked while watching movies when I go to the theater with friends. I don't keep talking but I say one or two words. However I have noticed that this can cause other people to get irritated. I think that I should be more careful about other people in the theater and should not think that it's OK to say few words while watching movies because there are also many others doing the same.

virtual-b 02/10/01 10:13 AM RE:

I agree wholeheartedly with you. During class lecture, movies, or anything done in class, the class should not be interupted by cell phones. I often get annoyed with people who let their cell phones ring on and on. I've seen professors halt their lectures and crack jokes about cell phone interuptions. I personally do not have a cell phone, so I don't know for sure. But if a person turns it off, there is an answering machine service, right? Or get a beeper instead and put on vibrate. However, the thing that gets me really ticked off, is when I'm concentrating during an exam and beepers or cell phones go off. Instead of focusing on the exam, I go off tangent and try to figure out what the tune was on cell phone. I learned, in cognitive psychology, that a person should study for an exam in an environment similar to the one that he takes the exam. For me, I study in a library or in my room, so I easily get distracted from disturbances such as cell phones.

cjn 02/08/01 4:00 PM "QUIET!!" rage