Through this paper I hope to prove a belief that holds importance and truth to me and my life. I believe that sex is the basis of life, that life is based on sex. I will show how my belief of this is portrayed in my life and then attempt to prove it through the works of psychologists. I will now begin my paper…
Through this paper I hope to portray an idea that has great importance to in it impact on my life, and the foundation that I have formulated from it The idea I will touch upon is sex and my belief that life is based on it, either directly or indirectly. Obviously, no one can hold my exact beliefs, but through this essay one may find similarities or at least find merit in them.
Sex, we see it ever day in some form in our lives, through television, cinema, in advertisements, literature, and other forms that affect us in sonic way, This leads one to believe that sex must have great importance to us, some do not condone it, some find sex to be a sinful act, others condone it, and some practice it on any occasion they can. No matter the view, however, what individual can say that he has never given it any thought? How can anyone actually avoid these thoughts, sex is all around us: to avoid it even takes a conscious effort.
Sex in itself is nothing more than a few moments of fleeting pleasure and gratification, yet it has such a hold on us, myself included. This has always astounded me, why does sex have such great importance on me? Why can sex, which seems to be nothing hut a physical act, make a difference in my happiness or fulfillment? I have even formulated the belief that life itself is based on sex, and although you may not feel the same; you have to see the relationship between life and sex. After all, without sex there can be no mortal life in the first place.
Now let’s look at a common day in my life. I wake up in the morning, hop out of bed and jump into the shower, and then I brush my teeth and my hair. Then I put on my deodorant and cologne, choose the clothes I will wear for the day and either head to class or to get a bite to eat. My room mate and I jump on his bike and look at ladies while riding by, usually making some sort of sexual comment on what we see. We’ll get to class and try to learn something, yet members of the opposite sex still may take our attention from the lesson. While at the cafeteria we try to find a seat next to the best looking honeys so we can enjoy the view. I’ll talk to friends throughout the day and on the telephone and almost every conversation are about ladies, certain ones, who pulls the most, or a certain situation with one or more. I will then lift some weights in hopes of looking better and usually increase the swell of my head in doing so. I may come and study, think afterwards, and then either fall asleep, invite a friend over, on certain nights: go clubbing or to a strip bar, or for a quiet night I’ll call a honey and converse over the phone.
Now, I realize that looking at females and talking to them may haw an obvious relation with sex but quite a few others do also but are just hidden. For one, the importance of appearance (showering. hair, teeth, deodorant, etc.) is related to sex because I believe if this was a world full of men alone I would not bother. Thus, it seems that I hope to Impress and not offend women in hopes of, 9 times out of 10, having sex: although definitely not with every female. Before you dismiss this as being ridiculous, ask yourself who you’re trying to impress and why, light. Weightlifting and other athletic functions are involved heavily with notoriety and improvement and one may be surprised in finding that many you may see they become involved in such activities in hopes of gaining admiration or interest from the opposite sex Some bodybuilders, however, actually lose this interest and become homosexual, because they spend so much time admiring male bodies and some even find themselves too good for women. I hope I never get that conceited.
I also mentioned how my friends and I talk about our opinions that we are either worse or better at bedding them. This shows the competiveness of sex itself, personally, every woman that shows interest is a little victory in itself. I’d even go as far as saying that sex has brought me pride, because every little victory brings me more self esteem, and with my friends, even respect. Another part of my life is my schooling, which I do in hopes of wealth and happiness. Even this however has a relation with sex, money brings the finer things in life and I find sex to be one of those things. Even happiness can mean sex because lack of it can lead to thoughts of oneself being unwanted and possibly lead to depression and sadness.
I have to ask myself where these thoughts came from. I believe they can be
attributed to many different variables. One aspect that I would cite is my
childhood and the many hardships in it. My parents were divorced when I was no
more than two or three years old, my mother received custody and I was left
without a father-figure for a few years, until my mother remarried. My mother
became highly religious although I feel she misinterpreted the scriptures. In
the Old Testament of the bible you will find verses relating to punishment and
even the beating of children that do not obey their guardians (I can not give
you the exact verse because I no longer read the bible, I don’t even own one).
My mother felt that every time I disobeyed or sinned in any way, I should be
punished. This usually meant a spanking with either a belt or switch, and
neither her nor my step-father had very good aim. My mother was a very
depressed individual, she would stare out of the window for hours at a time and
this scared me. We were quite poor and lived very shabbily and I had to rely on
my father to send us clothes and money for food. We lived in
I believe that the reason I felt such hostility towards women was due to my childhood and its hardships. To be honest, I still blame my mothers for pain I felt growing up. I also believe that they are the source of my violent temper and unstableness. Being that they were my main female figures and I feel that made me hate all women, because subconsciously that is what is portrayed by any female figure in my life. I believe that sex was an outlet for my pent up frustrations, but not only that, it also gave me an opportunity to even the score with women. I realized how much I could do to their lives and took advantage of that. I don’t believe I’m still the same way, at least not in attitude, but old habits are hard to break.
Search 1: 1 found tills journal in the CD Rom Silver Platter in the Psychlit file under pleasure and life meaning The article is in tile journal of Psychology 1987 Mar. Vol. 121 , published by tile American Psychological Association1988. Tile institutional affiliation of tile authors is the Department of Psychology at California State University Fullerton. It was located under call number BFLj829 on the second floor.
Meaning In Life Categories of Later Life Couples
This article was written by Peter Ebersoie and Steve D Paoia: it discusses surveys taken to determine life purpose. According to the results of the older participants, meaning in life was most Often determined the relationships within the family, followed by health and pleasure (p.185). My belief is that life is based on sex, either directly or indirectly. According to results of this test, I would be wrong. That is if you take this directly out of context, however, one may realize that tile family has roots in sex because that is how most of us are born as are our relatives. However, sex is not addressed as all independent variable in determining life meaning and it is difficult to comprehend which of the eight groups it would be related or grouped with. The 8 choices were not defined clearly enough to make that relationship and I feel the test was far too vague. Besides that obvious flaw, I will discuss others that led me to distrust the validity and usefulness of this psychological experiment.
64 individuals of married volunteers were given this test in a mobile home community and were instructed not to consult one another (p. 186). This leads me to believe that those conducting this test did not know whether or not these instructions were followed or if they had any control over that. Only 20 women and 16 men turned in their tests out of 64 who received the packets. That fact alone leads us to wonder how the others would have responded to the test. The article also states that the relation between life meaning and age is unknown (p, 186) although a similar test that is referred to, by Ebersole and DeVogler (p.188), states that younger adults and college samples found that belief was more important in one’s life. This points to an obvious relationship between age and meaning although we don’t know the absolute connection. The lest gave 8 different choices as to the most important factor of life meaning which were relationships, service, belief, obtainment, growth, wealth, life, work, and lastly pleasure. Unfortunately, I could not understand if the act of sex would follow under pleasure or relationships or possibly even obtainment. I would usually group up with pleasure, but the example given was “My meaning is to enjoy each day as fully as possible” (p.188), this definition does not seem to relate with sex or anything concrete, just making the most of one’s surroundings. My definition of pleasure is gratification, which was not even given as an option in this test. Furthermore, this experiment consisted of choices which were already determined for the subject and did not allow for one’s own personal opinion or definition of meaning outside of the extent of those choices. It is quite possible that subjects just picked that which was closest to their own definition of life meaning because their own was not listed. It is also possible that those 28 volunteers that did not submit their tests could not find a similarity to their own beliefs of life meaning and possibly even felt that sex was the meaning of life. I truly could not make any assumption from the results of ti1is test because I believe it was far too vague and too many possibilities are left open ended. I don’t find this type of test very reliable either, there are far too many outside variables and tests, subjects, and those conducting them, all have the ability to lie. Besides this are the factors of race and social standing also which is not addressed. These types of tests are trying to look at psychology as a science, and that in itself is impossible: we know far too little of the mind to try and make any statements of the subject. I believe the most one can do is make logical assumptions, therefore this essay did nothing to change my standing of the importance of sex in one’s life although it did not strengthen it either.
Search 2: This search was done in the UHCarl system under life meaning; the title of this collection of works is the "Search of Meaning: from Freud to Tellhard de Chardin” by John H. Morgan. It was found under call number B1O5.M4 M67 and appears to be a research type of writing style.
This writing discusses Jean-Paul Sartre’s first essay titled “Existentialism (p.17).” Sartre follows an atheist existentialist view point on the meaning of life, in other words he believes man is in control of his own destiny and must realize his own expectations. Failure to do so will result In personal failure, of which all blame rests on the individual who has failed. Sartre felt that man was after God and that there was no human nature, no type of behavior that is chosen for the individual: only that which is chosen by the Individual (p.18). In other words, man creates his own destiny. This realization that God is no longer here to choose, that the Individual must choose for himself is cause for anguish because one realizes the deep responsibilities on his shoulders(p.1 8). This view also states that the world about us has no essential goodness only existential or chosen values (p.19). This entire theory is depressing in the sense that it leaves no hope for the future except that which we choose. No afterlife, or destiny, and the concept of luck are meaningless. I realize the meaning of this concept, one can not expect God or luck to create destiny instead we must take control of our own destiny with or without existence of God. Sartre would have found that last statement to be ridiculous because he believes the absence of or realization that God does not exist is the very starting point of existentialism (p.19). Freedom is the goal of all men according to Sartre and meaning in life is determined by the realization of one’s goals and dreams which is in essence, freedom in itself. This is a complex theory in words but simple in reality, one must simply make the most of life and be responsible for one’s actions. This is a valid concept, although a gloomy one, and this writing contains reference to many great thinkers such as Heidegger, Descartes, Leibnitz, Diderot, Voltaire, and Kant. Being that this essay is brief and free of jargon with many valid points and reference 1 find that I trust the author although I may not agree with the writer he is discussing. Sartre finds the quest for realization of dreams and goals to be the purpose in life. Life is created through sex and the realization of dreams would not he possible without life. I also believe happiness is the goal in all human life although in Sartre’s view it may not constitute freedom. The absence of discussion of happiness is another reason I ant forced to disagree with Sartre, it scents as if life is meaningless and full of sadness to one who constitutes his views. I realize that this can oft-times be true but I don’t feel it has to be. Sex to me is actually one of the few things that can relieve stress and brighten a down day, maybe Sartre needs S0111e,
Search 3: 1 found this book in UHCarl under life meaning and its call number is BJ 1581.2 P57. Philosophy is the school of thought of this book titled’ The Meaning of Being Human” by Norman Pittenger. This book was published by the Pilgrim Press of New York and appears to be both a scholarly and popular type writing.
The Meaning of Being Human
This author portrays the meaning of human life to the basis of finding love. A better statement of Pittenger’s view may he that love gives life meaning. This is not to say that love is an everlasting joyful event, rather it is something that is made up of both joy and pain. The point made, however, is that once an individual feels the joy of love, the individual will accept the pain it accompanies (p. 19). Love is, in tennis of Pittenger, 95 a giving of self to another self who in turn gives, and is positive, outward going, and concerned, it has about it a sacrificial quality.” My understanding of the concept is that life is supposedly a quest for love, which is the sharing of oneself with one’s sole partner. This type of love is the type which is constitutes loyalty to a mate. Pittenger relates love to society in terms of community in which personal low portrays loyalty, common purpose, and devotion defines the word community in itself which was originated from Latin meaning “common agreement.” This is an astounding because it forces one to realize unity in society, nation, states, or partner is all based upon love. This concept is indeed a strong one and would seemingly belie mine own. Pittenger defines the pursuit of immediate pleasure as an Inane and pointless existence (p. 33). He continues by adding that” Anyone who is busy in pursuit of empty frivolity presents a depressing spectacle.” Pittenger later states that the act of making love is an expression of giving one’s entirety to another and that wholeness is achieved through making love even if it is without acknowledgement of those “making love”(p.36). This is an interesting concept although I can find fault with it. Pittenger is failing to take into account that many if not most people engaged in sex are not in love. Furthermore, many people having sex or making love, even those who are married, are just seeking the same gratification he is frowning upon. One can’t truly say that unity Is or wholeness is the central theme in a one-night stand either. This is not to say that his statement is invalid, I truly believe that the want and need for sex has bearing on a need to feel wanted and cared for, even if just for brief moments. In this sense, I can accept Pittenger’s view but not to the extent he is seemingly flying to portray. Pittenger goes in depth even further by saying that human sexuality is primarily the way for the expression of love (p.67). Furthermore he states a quote he learned from an old school master who stated that all friendship contains a sexual aspect (p.57). This statement confuses me because a lot of my friends are fellas, but I’m not going to go there for uh, well ya know. Pittenger also states that sexuality is wrongly expressed when a partner is used simply for gratification (p.69), later he states that even that can he beneficial because it may give the participants a better understanding (p. 73). One point he makes that I must disagree upon is that lust is not bad; it just needs to be controlled. Why control something that is not bad and is enjoyable? I believe that Pittenger makes some good points and it seems that our views are similar although we stress different concepts. However, I still prefer the word sex to love as meaning in life because sex is more prominent and visible in today’s society than love. I always thought that the difference between love and lust is a minute one and I couldn’t truly tell which was stronger.
Search 4: I found this book under UHCarl under life meaning also, it’s the same book as search 2. This article is an interpretation of a work titled “Building the Earth’ by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. Chardin is defined by Morgan (writer) as one of the “most highly acclaimed philosophical thinkers of the mid 20th century”.
In Search of Meaning
In a discussion of Teilhard’s theories and works, one may realize that political science plays a large role in his work. Teilhard is a Christian philosopher who believes the world travels through evolutionary cycles, the geosphere, biosphere, noosphere, and lastly the theosphere (p. 86). The geosphere is defined by Teilhard as the ‘rocky earth of prelife’, and the biosphere as the “greening and populating of the planet (86)." The stage which we are now (noosphere) in is defined as ‘human consciousness as self reflective awareness” (p.86). Lastly the final is named the theosphere “wherein all things come into the personal and loving care of god (p.86).”
Teilhard believes in a process which he calls “christification”, wherein all of mankind realizes the reality of Christ. We can already see the highly religious overtones of Teilhard’s work; this is not to say that they do not hold validity however. Teilhard discusses democracy, fascism, and communism in this work and defines the problems of each political system. According to Teilhard, Democracy does not respect man’s integrity, Communism is a totalitarian civilization, and Fascism prefers race instead of n1ankind (p.88-91).
These strongly political views are apparently correct but I question his alternative. I truly don believe that every individual will one day unite together. Teilhard believes that it is in the nature of the earth and its people to unite. Our function as human beings is to research and to embrace all things with religion. Teilhard also proposes a “spiritual quantum” of love, although he feels that it is misdirected often into feelings of passion. His entire political solution would seem quite laughable to any political science student, simply because it does not address the problem and relies on human nature and Cod to fix the world’s wrongs. This approach seems irresponsible and optimistic I will go as far as to say worthless to a rational mind. My reason for this stance is that Teilhard does not say when or how these changes will come about. I do not believe this man can predict the future either; lie has not been there and is no more qualified to assume any outcome than myself or any other individual.
Teilhard views of passion and love are also despicable in my eyes. To Teilhard, passion and gratification in love are wrong; love is intended to dormant forces of unity (p. 91) and awakens the Spirit of Earth’. This view is simply ridiculous, without passion there is not sex, without sex there is not children, without children there is no future. Love can not be intended only as a means to bring the world together, if so there would be no personal love. Teilhard forgets the importance of lo\e and sex in making people happy. I feel love should never he misinterpreted as a function but rather as a joy of life. Teilhard is a good example of an unrealistic and irresponsible man; I believe God helps those who help themselves and not those weak minds that expect him to solve their problems.
Search 5: 1 found this book on the shelf because my instructor told me where I could find works by Emmanuel Swedenborg. The call number of this book is BX8712.c213. The title is Love in Marriage (1992).
Love in Marriage
Swedenborg is an incredible and amazing writer, i1is work may be questionable hut it is nonetheless entertaining and provocative. When I first heard of Swedenborg and his philosophies, I found them to he ridiculous maybe even insane. I still can not say I agree with lbs teachings in actuality either hut I realize that lie offers hope in a seemingly ludicrous although convincing way. I view Swedenborg as a genius, not because he supposedly entered both heaven and hell, because of the frank and blatant nature of his work. This approach is refreshing in comparison to all those psychologists who beat around the bush and avoid the real questions.
Swedenborg views sexual love as something an Individual is, not as something we do (p. vii). Making love is considered to be a reflection of divine low and enacts one’s ability to unite and create (p. VII). In this book, Swedenborg tells of his journey to heaven and that which he has seen there, although I choose to limit my discussion to that which pertains to my essay only.
While in heaven, an angel tells Swedenborg that delight in the soul is from love and wisdom and is derived from the Lord (p.15). This type of joy is in all the senses and seems to refer to the act of making love although I am not sure. I assume this because what is described is very similar to my definition of ecstasy and I have always imagined that to be related with sex. The angel later goes on to say that the Lord is pleased that we bear fruit (p.19), which I find to be a direct reference to birth. At this point I am already seeing a strong relation between making love and God, something I never would have imagined; let’s see what else I can find.
According to Swedenborg spirituality comes from married love, which I understand to be the lovemaking of married people, and continues in heaven (p.36). This actuality can also only be brought about on earth which shows the strength of union in the ceremony we call marriage (p.45&46). Acceptance of this leads to an acceptance of the importance of sex In that it pleases God and constitutes spirituality. As you can see, Swedenborg seems to be backing my thesis that life is based on sex and everything Is related to it in one way or another. Let’s see if I’m right...
True forms of inward sexual love remain with an Individual after death, this means that spiritual preference will prevail In heaven. In terms of this, the sexual desires that one truly holds, not just shows, will be the true force when that person enters heaven (p.56-57).
Swedenborg makes several references to sexual love throughout this book, he explains that sexual love conies from good & truth through the Lord (p.111). This love is a physical one, however and it is part of the worldly side of man although through It man may actually become spiritual. I found a little difficulty with this point because I can not see how something that flows through God, who is spiritual, can be worldly, which is both physical and of bestial nature. Swedenborg explains that people progress to higher planes of worldliness until they finally reach spirituality. This path would seem to be one in the opposite direction for me. I have always believed that the more earthly you became: the farther you were from goodness and spirituality. The world is not a pure place after all it is adversely evil so how can worldliness bring one to spirituality? This discussion does not relate to my topic however, so I will move on.
also states that this sexual love is the beginning of married love although it
is not the source of it (p.1 13). Sexual love may not be married love in the
terms of true love but it serves as means to that eventual end (p.113). Swedenborg explains that lust is in the
nature of the man, that it excites us physically as men only (113). Men in general
are have an innate want for
Swedenborg also states that love in marriage turns sexual love into a chaste form. In terms of this, he means that sex in a marriage of good and truth becomes better and affects every sense, and results in fulfillment of the mind and the body, I will refrain from comment on this point because I have no experience in married love or that type of sex. He also states the evil of illicit love and claims that it is the opposite of married love, hut this can only he understood in terms of the adverse of married love so I am forced to refrain once again.
Swedenborg also comments on the act of fornication, lie states that fornication is not love of the opposite sex hut comes from it. Fornication is the act of sex that is given by a loose woman prior to marriage (429). I back that statement 100 percent. I think you know why. He also states that sex can grow into chaste form through love or illicit love through recklessness and I see no reason to argue this obvious fact (430). Throughout this entire chapter entitled “Fornication’, I am forced to realize that although this view may be a religious one it seems to be one that understands the realistic needs of man. Swedenborg realizes the importance of sex in love which is life and supports my 1ews of it. I am somewhat taken back from this because It is different from the religious dogma I am used to. I find this concept to be far more realistic than the old teachings but I am still unsure of its religious beating; a mistake in my judgment could result in an eternity in hell by old standards so I am cautious to accept quickly. Regardless of this, Swedenborg backs my earlier statement of the importance of sex in life and I find his contribution has strengthened my argument. Now on to my final search...
Search 6: 1 found this book in UHCarl under the name Freud, its call number Is BF 173 .F625 c.4. The title of this book is “the Basic Writings of Freud and is translated by Dr. A.A. Brill, published by the Modern Library of New York.
This book was the most Interesting In my opinion because I have always admired the work of Freud. Freud’s work has shown a definite Influence on our thinking, he is the forefather of psychoanalysis and has brought words such as the Id, ego, and superego into our vocabulary to name just a few. We all have heard of Freud, many find his work perverted and criticize that it’s foundation in sex is too the extreme. I do not find this to be true however, because of my belief that the basis of life is sex and his work corresponds with many of my own theories.
I find Freud’s theory of sublimation to be an effective example of my theory of sexual importance. Sublimation is the name Freud coined for tile process of deflecting sexual energy or libido to socially correct and productive measures (18-19). Take for example a man who has a high sexual drive that cannot be easily satisfied, although masturbation is an all alternative forms of activity such as exercise, work or hobbies to cure one’s cravings. This concept is not only valid hut useful in my ever daily life, l have progressed in outside activities such as weightlifting using this concept. Boxing coaches even warn boxers to refrain from sex because it can weaken them. This is taken ill terms of the effects of sexual frustration, although it may be an uncomfortable situation it does sharpen a tighter, besides this fact is the effects of sex on endurance winch is beside the point. Looking at this point we realize that sex or the absence of it can be a very powerful force.
Freud’s work has a strong foundation in dream work; even this concept has a foundation in sex. Freud believes that censorship in dreams is not usual although he finds such elements such as doors or openings to be reference to the female anatomy, chairs, hats, and such are considered to he the converse of that (p,373,392,). Freud believes that all dreams have a foundation or connection with sex (382). This leads me to believe that if sex is in dreams, something in the fabric of our mentality that we have no control over, it must be important to our mental functions even if some individuals are not aware of it’s presence in their mentalities,
Freud also corned the word “libido,” which is defined as the sexual instinct. This sexual instinct is compared to the instinct of hunger; libido is that motor force of sexual life (p.533). The comparison of sex to hunger is a statement which leads one to assume that sex is not just a pleasurable but necessary act. Some may question this point and say that there are individuals that have remained abstinent for countless years, possibly even lifetimes. This however says nothing of sex that is held by the individual alone, in the form of masturbation. Masturbation has always been a secretive act (379) although it manifests itself quite actively in the life of a human being. I believe that the secretive nature of masturbation is the component that makes this act so widely used although many times not accepted by the public. I also believe that this act is in the nature of the male species, although I known many women who have engaged in onanism it’s presence doesn’t seem as evident as that of men.
Freud also states a shocking statement that sexual abuse of children is not an insane act but rather one of gratification fulfillment (563), His explanation is that this gruesome act is most often committed by those in a position wherein the opportunity most often arises The need for gratification is there and the child represents the or signifies the normal sexual attraction to the insane whose needs are simply intensified. By this we may be disgusted, and rightfully so, but this simply portrays the extreme urge for sexual gratification in an individual.
The entire foundation of Freud work and career has roots in the concept of sex, his dream analysis, libido, ego concept, onanism, and other concepts all show this. Freud does not discuss the meaning of life in this book, vet his work may show the absolute importance of sex in life. I am a follower of Freud and have been since I read of his work in high school. I find his work to be a fundamental part of my life also. I will many times attempt to analyze people around me through what I have learned. I have often heard that lie is perverted and seen the looks of disgust when certain so-called liberated women hear of my fascination with his work. Part of the reason I wrote this essay was to show that work with foundations hi sex are valid because life itself is based upon it. I regret my own inability to go any farther with this essay but time restraints will not permit it.
I have found through this paper that my views of sex are strong ones within my mind and are not easily broken. I still believe that the basis of life is sex, we are born as a result of it and continue through the journey of life with its presence, in one way or another, always steadfast along side our mind’s eye. Life may be continued through our children who are results of our sexual activity. This paper did open my eyes to something I always thought but would never admit. I truly do believe that sex is its best when it is a result of loving or at least caring for the individual one has sex with. I know this through personal experience and realize that this act should signify those feelings. Furthermore, I have begun to believe that sex can be an attempt to acquire those feelings from another and the gratification is not only physical but mental in the terms that it gives individuals that sense of being wanted. I believe this may be one of the reasons mankind finds such a need for it. This is not to say that I only have sex for these reasons, I honestly do not, sex is extremely enjoyable but it is more fulfilling through this. With that, I will close this paper.